Loli in Disguise/The Wonders of Education, by Daneel Rush

Originally posted on October 5th, 2012


"Vita onee-saaaaaan!? Vita-shishou!? Vita ojou-sama?"

The door to the aforementioned redhead opened abruptly, revealing a small girl with a terrible bed hair. It was unusually early, especially for that other person to show up.

"Aaagh, what the hell!? Why are you annoying me so early...?" Vita paused while scratching her messy hair. "And what's with those weird honorifics?"

One of them was not even an honorific.

"Vita-tan!"

"I didn't mean to keep trying!"

Ilyasviel von Einzbern grinned, looking fresh and lively. Considering the trip from Fuyuki to Uminari, she should have woken up abnormally early that day. Vita was admittedly curious.

"More importantly, Vita-san! What is this!?"

Vita grabbed the piece of paper Ilya was waving frantically. It was a printout of a particular announcement.

"Ah, yes, he told me about this. Good for him..." She paused again. "Wait, how did you even get a hold of this file?"

"Hayate sent it to me."

"Why would she...no, forget it; dire things await on that path."

Smart girl, that Vita.

"Are you going?" Ilya asked. Vita shook her head.

"I offered, but he said he really wanted to try pulling this off on his own, so we're not getting in his way this time. Now, if you'll let me, I'm free today, so I wanna loaf around~" Vita replied before turning her back to the albino, with every intention to bury herself under the bed sheets once more.

"That's stupid!"

The room's temperature rose several degrees, as Vita slowly turned to glare at the other girl, her iris glowing with an ominous red.

"Are you...are you denigrating the most ancient loafing tradition, girl?"

"Wha-not that, don't be silly," Ilya off-handedly replied, making Vita tremble in suppressed rage. "I mean, it's the first time onii-chan will do something like this! We should be there to support him! And fawn over him! And delight over that wonderful face he makes when he's serious...kyan~"

"You...are awfully honest, aren't ya...?" Vita uttered with a mix of awe and disgust while she watched the other girl submerge herself in delusions involving the man she called 'onii-chan'. "Look, girl: I would have been the first to attend, really, but Shirou doesn't want us to be there. It sucks, but that's what he wants, and I can respect that. If we show up all of a sudden he's just going to feel bad; he'll think we believe he cannot handle such a thing by himself. So no way around it-"

"You pathetic fooooooooooool!"

"Gu-bogh!" Vita spat out as she was suddenly punched!

Standing in front of Ilya, looking down on the now-prone Vita with scorn and spite in her eyes, there was one Yagami Hayate.

"To think you would be the kind of person who gives up that easily; you disappoint me so!"

With that, she turned to Ilya, offering her an energic thumbs-up.

"Do not despair, Ilya-kun!" She said. "Leave everything to me! I'll make sure you can enjoy delicious onii-chan time!"

"Hayate onee-sama!" Ilya called out to the taller, curvier woman with stars in her eyes and hands clasped demurely.

Vita grimaced.

"Sometimes I wish you two did not get along this well..."

"D-O-T! D-O-T!" Hayate repeated with a loud, victorious voice full of glee and enthusiasm.

"Don't make an acronym out of it!"


Just before the gates leading to the courtyard, Emiya Shirou gathered his thoughts one last time. He had to admit it: he was nervous. Very nervous. Even with all the advice he received from Nanoha and Vita, Shirou's hands were trembling as his mind tortured him with thoughts of failure.

Still, he had to do this. He wanted to do this. It was the reason he accepted in the first place. So, he opened the doors and took the first step into the sunlight...and then stopped just as quickly.

There...were more people than he expected.

This was...intimidating.

And what was it with the awfully skewed female-to-male ratio? It was not like he had any qualms girls fighting-not anymore, that is-but, wasn't this, like, a little too much?

Furthermore, there was an awkward atmosphere, as if a fight would be about to break out any second now. He could tell, the steely glances these ladies were shooting at each other. Did something happen before he arrived? Anyway, he better get things in order.

"Uh-um, good morning, everyone..." He hesitated in his approach. Perhaps he should... "First of all, allow me to confirm you're all here for the elective 'Close-combat Tactics' course...?"

"Yes, sir!" The group of roughly 85% women responded eagerly. Huh, so everybody was really for the course, Shirou realized. He really had not expected so many people, according to what the course's original sensei told him.

"Well, Lieutenant Randel's skills were necessary for an important mission, so I will be taking over him for the next few weeks. I am Contract Mage Emiya Shirou...no, wait, I should have introduced myself first, shouldn't I...?" Shirou made a somewhat bashful face, the kind of thing that inevitable made girls experience a certain "kyun~" kind of feeling. "Sorry about that."

Blissfully unaware of the feelings of the girls that would do anything to be allowed to go "kyaa~!" in that moment, Shirou examined the faces of his new students...


Waaaah...

Emiya Shirou, the man Vita liked more than anybody else, was making a really outrageous face. It was awkward, because she believed she had never seen him looking like that before, but...yes, it could only be that.

He looked disgusted.

As if he had stumbled upon a congregation of fat, greasy nerds worshiping the image of a two-dimensional androgynous boy on a body-sized hugging pillow. Or as if he had found out that his best male friend secretly dreamt of being stepped on and thoroughly insulted by a prepubescent girl with a naughty streak.

That kind of face.

To learn that her precious Emiya Shirou was capable of making such a face, in all honesty, made Vita a little bit happy. It was a worrisome feeling.

Still, pretending to not have noticed, Shirou continued his examination of the group of mostly female cadets.

The girl next to her leaned to make her whispers heard.

"See? It totally worked!"

"It didn't!" Vita quickly hissed. "It totally, absolutely, one hundred percent didn't!"

Hayate's plan, if it could be called such, was decisive use of the "Adult Mode" transformation magic. Vita could cast in on herself, but Ilyasviel eagerly relied on Reinforce to become a mature beauty. Vita had to admit, the grown-up albino was truly a sight to behold. She wanted to believe she did not look half bad herself, though...which led her to thinking of Shirou.

He...did not seem particularly impressed or surprised by their adult appearances, did he? As a woman, that was kind of a difficult pill to swallow. Actually, the feeling was more comparable to finding out that the huge pill you were complaining to your doctor about was in fact a suppository. However, that combination of feeling afraid and appalled quickly transmuted itself into womanly anger. Who did he think he was, to not be swayed by her sexiness...!?


And so, while Vita's anger simmered within her, and Ilya lost herself in thoughts like "Aaahn, the onii-chan that gives stern commands is amazing too~", Shirou concluded his brief overview of what they would hopefully achieve in the next few sessions.

"With that said, please assemble into pairs for the first exercise. Now, there are seventeen of you, so..."

He approached the utterly unsubtle pair. While Ilya's eyes sparkled almost disturbingly, Vita seemed to be muttering who-knows-what while glaring at the ground. He stood in front of her first, facing her down-even in her Adult Form, she was still shorter than Shirou-with the stern gaze of a harsh teacher.

"You."

"What," Vita scornfully spat out while returning his stare with a glare. Now what did he do, Shirou wondered.

"That's not the way to address a teacher, girl."

Suddenly realizing their circumstances, Vita's eyes widened eloquently.

"Guh...!"

"So, your name?"

"Vi...!" Noticing the beginning of a smirk and a raise eyebrow on Shirou's face, Vita physically swallowed the rest of the word and thought quickly. If she was going down, she would do it in a blaze of glory.

"Vittoria," she introduced herself. "Vittoria Skullcrusher."

While Shirou's expression remained undisturbed, the looks on the other cadets' faces could be summarized with two diametrically opposite sentences.

-Is she an idiot?

-So cool!

Something like that, although not entirely accurate.

"Well, Miss...Skullcrusher, as it seems you were not paying attention, please indulge me with, let's say, five laps around the field before teaming up with whoever if left. Understood?"

"Aye aye, sir!" Vita saluted, but she did not depart before giving Shirou a meaningful "we'll talk later" look.

With one out of the way, Shirou turned his attention to the other uninvited guest.

"And you..."

"Ah! Um, yes! Sir?" Suddenly straightening herself as Shirou's voice dragged out of Fantasy Land, Ilya for the first began to consider the possibility that perhaps, just maybe, Shirou might in fact be perceptive enough to notice her disguise.

"You name, miss?"

"Bweh? Ah, um...eh..." The metaphorical light bulb lit, if only for a moment. "Justica! Justica von Ein..."

Shirou's wordless "really?" stare warned Ilya of the stupid mistake she was about to make.

"Ein...saa...ee...bwuh?"

Waaaaaaaaahhh!

Their audience of young cadets winced as one, with utmost appallment.

Shirou smiled. It was a somewhat teasing smile that made Ilya all tingly down there, but she realized this was not really the best time to use her wonderful onii-chan's facial expressions at catalysts for her lust.

"Very well, Lady von Einsaaeebwuh..."

He's actually going with it!?

In Vita's absence, the cadets provided the internal tsukkomi.

"Since there is an odd number of students today, you will have to bear with the likes of me for today's exercises."

"...eh?"

Something was wrong.

She should be happy about this development. Why wasn't she happy about this development!?

It was probably the smile on Shirou's face. It was the kind of smile that suited that white-haired Servant Archer better.

"This is a rather high-level elective course, so I assume you are more than capable of keeping up, right?"

"...eh?"

It was then that Ilyasviel von Einzbern realized she really had not thought things very thoroughly...or at all. She did not even consider the possibility of Shirou's teaching role being a Practical Course.

"Saa, everyone!" Shirou quickly called out to the other pairs and the lone girl that would eventually become Vita's partner. "I want to see those Barrier Jackets! Needless to say, no Shooting or Bombardment spells are allowed, and please try not to disturb the other groups' spars! Ah, and please no flying, if anyone of you is capable of doing so!"

"Eh? Eh?"

It was the beginning of a very tough day for Ilyasviel.


"Uwaaah, I want to die..." Ilyasviel von Einzbern slid down the walls of the TSAB Ground Forces training building to slump on the floor like a broken doll. "Onii-chan, why didn't you let me become the Grail back then...?"

Vita snickered. To an endurance fighter like her, cadet training was basically simple calisthenics. She barely shed a drop of sweat.

"Waah, Shirou really did a number on ya. To be honest, watching him punish you was kind of hot."

It was interesting because it was different. Shirou was the kind of person who was dragged all over the place by the whims of the many women in his life, so watching him make a stand and sternly put Ilya in her place was rather...yet, it was more than a bit arousing.

"Really," Shirou intervened, having just emerged from the showers and finally done for the day. "What were you thinking, Ilya?"

"She wasn't. That's the whole point."

"Muuuu!" Ilya complained, pouted while looking up at the other two with a childish expression that still looked adorable in her adult form. "I just wanted to support onii-chan in his important first lesson!"

Shirou sighed, and Ilya mewled blissfully the moment his hand fell on her white hair and stroke it tenderly.

"And those feelings make me very happy, Ilya. Still, what you did was reckless and, well, you just were in the way. So, what do you have to say...?"

"Muu...sowwy."

"Good," Shirou said and nodded earnestly. His smile told Ilya that he was not bothered anymore, and thus she became radiant again.

"Aaaah! More importantly, onii-chan!" As if she had not been subjected to horrible physical training and targeted by Shirou's scolding just earlier, Ilya instantly jumped back on her feet to strike what she thought was a sexy pose.

"Uhh...what?"

"What do you mean 'what'!? Mou, onii-chan, can you be any more hopeless!?"

"Now what did I do!?"

"Mou!" Ilya repeated, planting her hands on her hips. "Why haven't you said anything about our glamorous adult bodies!?"

"Ugh..." Turning to Vita while wordlessly begging for help, Shirou was instead struck by a scowling redhead with her arms crossed under a bountiful bosom.

That was a huge problem. Vita was not supposed to have such incredible things on her chest!

"Seriously, you cannot fail harder as a man, Shirou," Vita scolded.

"Why!?"

"Really, you're asking that!?" The irate redhead continued, and Shirou made a pitiful "eek!" sound when she reached for her bosom with both hands, squeezing and pushing her breasts upwards most tantalizingly.

"In the presence of this unsurpassable 'ufuun~' kind of eroticness, you still dare keep your worthless mouth shut!? Shirou!"

"Please don't make that 'ufuun~' sound ever ag-aghck!," Shirou flatly retorted and was punched in the gut in response.

"Wrong time to tsukkomi, you bastard!"

Clutching her left arm with her right hand at the elbow and making a subdued expression, what should have been a cute sight became something heart-throbbing in her modified appearance. Shirou found himself staring at the subdued girl's slightly pouting lips.

"Think of a woman's feelings at least once, you idiot..."

Now let it be known that there is a limit to Shirou's lack of awareness concerning women. It used to be very far away, but the combined efforts of many interested females have successfully pulled it closer to a more reasonable level.

"Vita, can I...am I allowed to be completely honest?" He said, his cheeks quickly gaining a healthy reddish hue.

"Uh, um," the unhappy girl uttered in response, glancing down at the young man on his knees with distrust.

"You see, Vita...the reason..." Shirou glanced to the side, no longer able to look at Vita straight. "The reason I didn't pair up with you was be...be-because I didn't want to do something...inappropriate in front of the cadets."

"Eh...?"

Noting her widening eyes on him, Shirou further hid his face, scratching his right cheek as if that would dispel the fiery blush. Vita, caught utterly by surprise by Shirou's confession, almost dropped to her knees when a dizzying, electrifying jolt traveled from her chest, down her spine before settling at her lower abdomen.

This is bad...! This is seriously, really bad...!

Vita wondered if the use of adult form had done something to her hormone concentrations, as the flush on her cheeks spread to her chest and most of her upper body. At this rate, she...!

"I...re-really...? I...?" She uttered lamely, as if unsure of what exactly she wished to know.

"You look amazing, Vita."

Vita inhaled deeply.

She was breaking...! Something, something dangerous that was sealed deep inside her was breaking free...!

"Ah...aha, ahaha...ahahaha...!" The red-haired beauty laughed somewhat disturbingly. "Ah, ah, sheeesh, what are you saying, Shirou!?" Her voice came out somewhat louder than expected. Louder and higher in pitch. And it did not seem like she was actually looking at him; her eyes looked vacant and foggy. "Saying I look more beautiful than Fate, you charmer you~!"

"I never said that," Shirou retorted flawlessly, but his tsukkomi was ignore by the awkwardly laughing girl.

"Muu...muu-muu-muu-muu-muuuuuuuu!"

"Yeowch!" Shirou cried out when his back was pinched by the other little-girl-turned-voluptuous-beauty in the room. "Ilya!"

"No faaaaaaaaair! Praise Ilya too, onii-chan!"

"Yes, yes, very cute, very cute~"

"Mooooou!" Ilya still complained after Shirou affectionately patted her head some more. "The treatment's completely different! So unfaaaaaaair!"

"Ah, that's because I'm still a little angry."

"Muu...Vita did the same thing..."

"Ah, but Vita's an instructor here, so if she wanted to join the exercises I can't really stop her," Shirou clarified. "Besides, I seriously doubt she was the one who cast 'Adult Form' on you. In fact, the real culprit should please step out...?"

The smiling Shirou looked at a nearby corner, from which eventually another lovely young woman stepped out.

"Ahaha. I got caught after all~"

"Good afternoon, Hayate."

"Ni-ha-ha~" The brunette laughed cattily. "But, really, don't they look amazing?"

Shirou sighed, even if he had to agree. No, he sighed because he wholeheartedly agreed.

"You know, I really want to think of Ilya as a precious sister. If you pull off something like this, as a man, I'm terribly conflicted..."

Ilya's carmine irises glimmered most radiantly, exultant with the feeling of success.

"Onii-chan!"

"Wah!"

The beautiful albino, rendered immensely more beautiful with the addition of curves in all the right places, clung to her dear person with all the strength she could muster.

"Onii-chan doesn't have to worry about anything! You can do whatever you want to me!"

Shirou's blush returned, full force.

"I-Ilya! Don't say such dangerous things! Especially not in public!"

"Mou, nobody cares, onii-chan!"

"Of course Vita cares! Right, Vit-owah!"

Suddenly, Shirou found himself on the floor, pinned by not one, but two incomparable beauties. Ilya had features exotic beyond exotic, like a real princess of some fairy tale country. Such a dazzling combination of features that could only exist together in an artificial creation; Shirou could not help but think of a certain Fate T. Harlaown. Really, why did all artificial women have to be so mesmerizing?

And the other one...

"Shirou..." She moaned, and Shirou shuddered under the forbidden allure of that succubus-like voice. He felt her rubbing herself most inappropriately against him, and he whimpered at the feel of softness that defied description. Even her smell carried a new, delicious sweetness, relaxing like cinnamon and tempting like hashish.

"Shirou, I...I don't know, but...but I..."

"Onii-chaaaaaan~"

"Oi, oi, oi, you two!" Hayate sounded far more amused than annoyed. She walked around the group on the floor and kneeled close to Shirou's head. "You can't just start without me."

"Uhh...Hayate?" Shirou called out to the one girl not rubbing herself against him. "A little help here?"

He asked for help but, in his heart of hearts, he knew it was already hopeless.

"Now, now, Shirou. You have to make a decision right now," Hayate calmly declared. "What will you choose: a dangerous, illegal threesome..."

"We're both older than you!" Ilyasviel immediately retorted. Vita was too busy filling her nostrils with Shirou's male scent.

"...or a happy foursome!" Hayate placidly continued. "Saa, Shirou-kun; choose your fate!"

Shirou grimaced. "Why do you keep speaking as if I had a choice...?"

"Iyaaaan~" Hayate squealed. "That's why Shirou's the best; so understanding!"

"That doesn't make me happy at all!"

"Ah, no biggie; I'll sure you'll be very happy very soon~"

"Ugh..." Shirou's voice sounded like he was complaining, but his arms possessively wrapped themselves around Vita's and Ilya's waists. His body had long ago reacted to the proximity of such tremendous amounts of woman, so it was pointless to hide things by this point. "Anyway, Hayate..."

"Um?"

"How long will this 'Adult Form' last? I wouldn't want for some weird accident to happen...you know..."

"Long enough."

That was Vita.

Looking down at the other redhead, Shirou was met by big eyes gleaming with hunger and expectation. He understood; he clearly understood what she was offering. What she wanted right that moment, more than anything.

Returning her hungry stare with a comforting smile, Shirou reached for her long braided her to stroke it a little. What Vita really cared about, however, was the unusual, dangerous, oh-so-promising luster in Shirou's own eyes.

"I will be the judge of that, Vita."


Extra Scene


Late night, or perhaps early morning. Emiya Shirou was not sure of the time.

The location was his single apartment in Mid-Childa. It was chosen because it was the most private choice, and because they were not really up to making the trip to the Einzbern Castle. It was a somewhat cold night, but it was difficult to feel it, surrounded as he was by so much warmth

Ilyasviel von Einzbern, who he guessed he could no longer see as a sister, clung fiercely to his left side, her left leg hooked around his left, his left hand placidly and gently caressing the soft, white skin of her delectable rear while she slept. Vita's weight was sprawled over him, soft breasts pressed against his chest and her breath sensually caressing the nape of his neck. The two of them were still in the magic-born 'Adult Forms'.

"Uhh...is it...supposed to last this long...?" He mused, in fact asking to the fourth and last person on that bed. Yagami Hayate, unsubtle rubbing her most sensitive parts against his right arm, giggled mischievously.

"I...might have put a liiiiiitle too much mana in Ilya's spell," she confessed with absolutely no shame. "As for Vita, she actually recast the spell just before you two started fucking like animals."

Shirou made a face.

"Could you please not call it that?"

"Well I cannot for the life of me call it 'tender, amorous lovemaking', Shirou-kun. If I may be allowed to remind you-"

"Please don't."

"-she rode you like a wild stallion until you got tired of lying on the bed and proceeded to pound her from behind until she was squealing and calling herself your bitch."

"That absolutely never happened."

"Waaaaah!" Hayate uttered with sincere awe. "Shirou-kun, you were so into it that you didn't even pay attention to what she said...?"

"I don't believe you," Shirou stubbornly clung to his belief.

"Mah, we can just ask Vita in the morning."

"We won't."

"Ufufufu~"

Shirou sighed and shook his head. The sleeping Vita whined in complaint and further pushed herself against him. Were he not already exhausted, it would have been enough to elicit a most eloquent physiological reaction.

"So..." he said to the woman he knew was not asleep, if the way she kept manipulating his arm meant something. "...what does it feel, to have your plans succeed so flawlessly?"

"Ara, Shirou-kun, whatever you could possibly mean?" Hayate's exaggeratedly innocent voice did not convince anyone.

"You think I didn't see you having your way with Vita and Ilya when I was...engaged with the other?"

"Ahaha~" Hayate chuckled, delighted. "My, Shirou-kun, could it be that you're jealous? Or perhaps you're that possessive of your women?"

"Jealous I am not, although I cannot deny I'm a little possessive of these two..." Shirou embarrassedly admitted, wishing he had a free hand with which to scratch the itch in his cheeks. "But that's not what I meant."

Hayate chuckled one more time before pulling Shirou's left arm around her shoulders, allowing herself to nest herself on his right side.

"A person like me...that seeks to become intimate with all her precious friends...do you hate it...?"

Shirou snorted.

"You cannot ask that kind of question after we've done something like this, Hayate. Saying yes would just make me a hypocrite."

"Ahaha~" The brunette joyfully giggled. "Sorry, sorry~"

"Don't apologize if you're not sorr-ugh!"

Shirou grunted at the feel of knuckles harshly grinding his left side.

"Don't wake me up unless you're ready for Round Eight."

"Please spare me, Vita-sama."