Derek didn't know why he slipped into his fur. Right in front of Stiles, no less. He was just so tired and he was sick of talking. As a wolf, he was still himself but it was easier to let his mind drift and just be.
Once Stiles had recovered from the shock of seeing the transformation, they did settle on the couch. Stiles had found the sandwiches and they were feeding one to Derek in little bits. Derek gently plucked them from Stiles' fingers. After the last bit, he gave Stiles' fingers a quick lick to clean off a bit of mayo.
"That tickles," Stiles protested but watched in awe when Derek gave their thumb one last lick.
Then Derek settled down to watch that documentary about flamingos, Stiles had not been joking about that. He had his head on Stiles' thigh and Stiles was absently scratching him behind the ear while the narrator informed them in a calming voice about flamingo mating habits. Derek closed his eyes.
He didn't mean to fall asleep but he hadn't slept all night, had worked out like a maniac, and his breakdown earlier was taking its toll.
Derek drifted off to sleep, knowing that Stiles would be there when he woke up.
When he woke up, the TV was still running but now they were watching a quiz show. Confused Derek lifted his head, how long had he been sleeping?
"Feeling better?" Stiles asked
Derek let out a huff. He still felt exhausted as if he could sleep for another twelve hours straight but he did feel better. Lighter.
"I was thinking," Stiles said to which Derek rolled his eyes. "You stay the night. We're going to have a sleepover with pizza and more bad werewolf movies. In the morning we both go to work, you have an early shift tomorrow, right?" They waited for his confirming nod. "Good. After your shift, you meet me here and then we're going to face Laura together. Sounds like a plan?"
Derek didn't like the last part but he got that he had to face her eventually and that it wouldn't get easier the longer he waited. He let his head drop back to Stiles' thigh with a grumble.
"And we need to give Kate's name to my dad," Stiles continued. "I can give him the cliff-notes but he will want to talk to you."
Stiles' fingers found that spot behind his ear again.
"Don't worry, he'll understand."
Derek was not so sure about that, he himself didn't understand. The last few months he'd been thinking about the things he should have done differently, the things he should have noticed. But he had been too blind to see. He had loved her and he hadn't wanted to see. Until it had been too late.
Stiles' dad had been there right after. Derek couldn't remember what the man had said to him but it had been comforting. He didn't remember much about those first hours but he did remember sitting in the sheriff's office, huddled in a blanket, and with a hot cup of coffee in his hands. And that the sheriff had been there.
There encounter at the hospital.
Survivor's guilt, it's a thing, you know? Derek could still hear John's voice in his head. John hadn't even known half the truth but he'd still tried to comfort him. However, Derek was not so sure what the man would think of him once he knew the whole truth. However, there was no taking it back now. He'd told Stiles, it was out there now, nothing he could do about that now.
In defeat, Derek closed his eyes and let Stiles pet him. Just for a little while longer.
They did order pizza for dinner and Derek even changed back to his human form for that. He did that in the bedroom where Stiles had set out some clothes for him. The clothes were freshly washed but they still smelled faintly of Stiles. It did something to Derek. Just a few hours ago he'd thought that he'd lost Stiles forever and now he was wearing their clothes, their scents mixing.
When Derek joined Stiles in the living room again, he steeled himself for the question of how he was feeling but one look at him seemed to be answer enough for Stiles.
In fact, they didn't bring up anything from earlier. While they were waiting for their pizza, the most concerning topic for Stiles seemed to be pineapple on pizza. They filled the whole half an hour it took for their pizza to arrive with ranting about pineapples and how they did not belong on a pizza. Derek had never tried it but now he kind of regretted that he'd gone for a meat-lovers. He should have ordered the pineapple one just to tick off Stiles even more.
They ate their pizza while they were trying to decide which movie to watch. Stiles carried most of the conversation but they didn't seem to mind. Derek added something here and there but mostly he was fine with just listening to Stiles.
They had a lot to say about the movie they had eventually settled on. It was cheesy, filled with dumb characters who deserved to die for their stupidity, and littered with plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. Stiles pointed out every single one of them.
Derek as the expert on werewolves pointed out what the producers had gotten wrong about them, which was everything. He had to admit that he had fun.
The movie had a sequel and of course they had to watch it next. It was even worse than the previous one.
"Time for bed?" Stiles asked when finally the credits rolled.
Derek nodded even if he dreaded sleep. Over the movies, he had been able to forget about everything but the thoughts were lurking in the back of his mind, waiting.
"You …," Stiles started but didn't finish the thought. They were twitching, their fingers drumming on their thigh, something clearly on their mind.
"I can sleep on the couch," Derek hurried to offer. They didn't have to say it, he got it. Stiles was still there, he didn't know why but he took it, but sleeping in the same bed might be too much for them. After everything he'd told them, they needed some distance, he understood that. The couch was fine.
"What?" Stiles snapped out of their thoughts. "Why would you sleep on the couch when we have a perfectly fine bed?"
"But Kate?" Derek was at a loss. "And everything?"
"Okay, I'm going to sound like a broken record soon but what that bitch did was not your fault," Stiles said firmly. "I'm not blaming you for any of what has happened and you shouldn't blame yourself either. I love you and I trust you. That you've been with her doesn't change that. I want you in my life and I want you in my bed." They paused, giving Derek a chance to comprehend what they had just said. They meant it, Derek could tell. He just couldn't quite believe it.
"What I was trying to say was that you don't have to put on the fur for that. I would like to have you with me in your human form. If you want. You don't have to. And no ulterior motives here, I won't molest you in your sleep, I swear." They were rambling now, the words coming out too fast.
"Stiles?" Derek couldn't help a smile. "Shut up."
He did follow Stiles to the bedroom in his human form, though.
It was better than sleeping alone. Having Stiles close, hearing their steady heart-beat and their even breathing did help to keep the thoughts at bay. He fell asleep with Stiles' hand on his chest but otherwise not touching.
Derek woke up in a full-on koala hug. Stiles was clinging to him with everything they had, face pressed into his neck and Derek felt them drooling down his collar.
"Stiles?"
They smacked their lips but didn't wake up.
"Stiles, I swear …" Derek cursed and tried to wiggle free. He could just pry them off if he wanted to but that would be a rude awakening for Stiles and Derek didn't want to do that.
"Derek?" Stiles mumbled into his neck. "What time is it?"
"Time to let go of me," Derek grumbled but he wasn't trying that hard to escape out of Stiles' hold. It was kind of nice. Not that he would ever admit that.
"I'm never going to let go of you," Stiles answered, still mostly asleep.
"You're going to be the death of me." Derek let his head drop back into the pillow in defeat. It was still early, they didn't have to get up just yet.
Stiles let go of him eventually but they weren't in the slightest embarrassed about their sleep hugging.
They got ready for work, had a quick breakfast, and way too soon they kissed goodbye.
"Don't worry too much," Stiles said and kissed him again. "Just get through your shift without crashing your car or murdering any customers."
"No promises." Derek played along but dread had settled in his stomach.
"Come over after your shift and then we'll deal with Laura," Stiles repeated their plan.
"Don't overdo it at work," Derek told them, glossing over what Stiles had just said.
"Yes, Mom," Stiles answered but they got the hint and shut up about the other thing.
Yesterday Derek had texted Laura that he would spend the night with Stiles which she'd answered with: Oh really? Who would have guessed?
He'd also promised to come home in the afternoon so he wasn't getting out of this.
At least he had a busy shift with customers back to back which left him little room to think about anything. He didn't even have time to text Stiles in between.
However, the closer to the end of his shift he got, the sicker he felt. Stiles had been confident that Laura would understand but he wasn't so sure about that. He didn't care about becoming an omega, his only worry was that he might hurt Stiles before he could stop himself, but Laura was not just his alpha, she was his big sister. She was the only family he had left. And he was the only family she had left. Alphas could become omegas too. Without a pack, she would be in the same situation as him. She, however, didn't deserve it. But he didn't want her to keep him in her pack if she despised him.
Derek finished his shift and drove over to Stiles' place.
"You look as if you expect her to rip off your head," Stiles greeted him.
"I do." He hadn't thought about that possibility but she could very well kill him. It wasn't considered civilized but alphas had killed betas before. For treason or murder, for example, both things Derek was guilty of.
"You're so optimistic." Stiles grabbed their keys and then they were ready to go. "You do know that the scenarios in your head are always worse than reality, right?"
Stiles had a point there but Derek couldn't help it.
"You'll see, she's going to destroy the kitchen when she's going to cook tons of comfort food for you."
"If you say so."
"I do."
Stiles drove them over because Derek was too nervous. Way too soon they were standing at his door. He could hear Laura moving around inside and he was sure that she knew that they were standing out here.
Stiles nudged him in the side but he needed another moment before he opened the door.
"Were you two making out or why were you standing out there for so long?" Laura asked, clearly amused but she sobered up when she caught sight of them.
"Derek?" She came over to him. He could see the exact moment when she caught his scent. Her eyes widened and all color left her face. "What happened?"
She looked him over, searching for blood or something like that, and when he didn't answer she looked over to Stiles in search for an explanation.
"We …," Derek started but corrected himself, "I have to tell you something."
