Chapter 71: The Buzzard Wasps Overhead

Zuko, Katara, Toph, and Sokka had finally stopped to rest. That decision had been made by Toph falling face first in the sand and staying there.

Katara and Zuko could both hear her snoring. Sokka could hear the stars singing to him.

Katara leaned over and rolled the younger girl into a more comfortable position, one where she wasn't inhaling sand. She carded her fingers through Toph's hair, tugging some stray strands behind her ear.

Katara said, "I guess we should stop and rest for a few hours."

Zuko nodded. He lowered himself slowly to the ground. From the ache that emanated from every muscle in his body, he wasn't sure whether he'd be able to get up in a few hours.

Katara sat next him, not quite touching.

Sokka was sprawled on his back, quietly humming along to the songs that only he could hear. Momo was laid across his chest, also staring up at the night sky.

Zuko said lowly, "You should get some rest."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Think you ought to take your own advice, Zuko. You've… well, you've had a hell of a day."

He snorted softly. "That's one way to put it."

She asked, "Are you okay?"

He sighed. "I'm fine, Katara. Just sore."

Katara shook her head at him. "I'm not talking about your body, Zuko. I'm talking about you."

Zuko frowned. "I-I'm fine. Honestly. I'll survive."

Katara looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "Spirits, I hope you're lying to me."

His frown deepened. "Why would you hope that?"

"Zuko, you were buried alive twice today. You were almost killed by Sandbenders, and a sand shark. You're stranded in the middle of the world's largest desert. If you're okay with all of this, then I really don't want to know what you deem bad."

He sighed. Instead of answering her he asked, "Are you okay, Katara?"

"Honestly?" She said. "Appa is missing. Aang ran off after him and is probably confronting dangerous Sandbenders right now. We're in the middle of the desert. My brother essentially poisoned himself, and at the exact moment when I need him to help us think of a way out of this. We're the only people who know the best time to invade the Fire Nation, possibly the only way we're going to win the war. And I'm a fourteen-year-old girl, stuck in the middle of said war.

"Every day I face the possibility that my friends, my family, could die. So no, Zuko, I'm not okay. Not even slightly."

He sighed softly. "Well, when you put it like that…"

He trailed off. Then he said, "You really want an honest answer?"

"Always."

"Are you sure?" Zuko asked. "The truth isn't going to make you feel better."

She nodded. "It's still better than a lie."

He nodded back at her. "Okay. Since we're being honest… No, I'm not okay. I'm not sure I've ever really been 'okay'. I don't think I really know what that feels like. I spent most of my childhood suspecting that my father hated me. I was never good enough. He branded me in front of the entirety of the Caldera Nobility, marking me as a coward and confirming that he despised me. I was sent to war way too young and I still have nightmares about the things I've seen and done. I've probably seen and done things just as bad, if not worse, since I deserted.

"Add in the fact that nowhere on earth is truly safe for me; if the Fire Nation finds me I'll be formally executed, and that's assuming my death doesn't come at the hands of my baby sister, the girl I taught to tie her shoes. And if they don't find me, and the Earth Kingdom does, they'll try to use me as a pawn against my father; and when that inevitably fails, then I'll be killed, probably in the most brutal fashion they can think of. Earthbenders like to crush Firebenders.

"And, like you said, I nearly died several times today. In a lot of ways, I am okay. I can function and keep going, and I know that that's not a good thing. I should be freaked out by it, but I'm not. I'm really not. And that's messed up.

"So, since we're being honest, I'm also not okay, Katara. Nowhere close."

There was total silence after Zuko had finished speaking. Toph, Sokka, and Momo were all snoring softly.

Katara said, "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. I don't want you to be."

He felt Katara put her head on his shoulder. She said, "You've suffered way too much, Zuko. I'm sorry you had to suffer like that. Deal with it."

He snorted a little. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed gently. Her arm found its way around his waist.

He said, "We should probably both get some sleep."

She nodded her head against his shoulder.


They woke up when Aang practically crash-landed besides their makeshift camp, sending up a wave of sand.

Zuko was up in a crouch, dagger drawn, before he was even fully awake. Katara too had reacted quickly, rolling off to the side, hand clutching her flask though she kept the cork in.

Toph just struck out with her fist, causing most of the sand and dust to divert around her.

As for Sokka, well he didn't so much as twitch. He was laid on his back, Momo sprawled across his chest, and both of their mouths were wide open.

When the dust settled and they realised who it was, Katara took her hand off her flask and Zuko sheathed his dagger.

Katara rushed over to where the Avatar was still crouched, quickly wrapping him up in a hug.

From where Zuko was sitting, the boy barely reacted to her presence.

Aang muttered, "I couldn't find them. I couldn't find Appa."

Katara shushed him. "We'll find Appa. We'll get out of the desert and we'll find some help and we'll get Appa back. I promise."

Zuko sighed softly when he heard that. Despite yesterday's events, Zuko didn't want to think too badly of Sandbenders on the whole. They'd treated him with kindness in the past. Every society had assholes in it.

That being said, he would be very surprised if the Sandbenders hadn't already killed Appa and begun stripping the meat from the bone. He had no doubt they'd find plenty of uses for said bones, along with Appa's fur, not to mention the bison's large horns.

It was not a thought he wanted in his head. He liked Appa. The large bison was quiet and gentle. However, reality was still reality. He suspected that Katara knew she was possibly lying to the Avatar; she'd proven herself far too world-weary to truly be that naïve.

However, she was, once again, trying to preserve the Avatar's view of the world and the people in it. He could see why, though he didn't think it was the healthiest choice for anyone.

He shook the thought away. He heaved himself up. He felt dried blood crack and break all across his skin, pulling slightly. He winced at the many aches and pains that wracked his body. He felt far, far older than he was. Spirits, he felt as old as Aang technically was.

Aang glanced up and met Zuko's eye.

The Avatar's own eyes widened, almost comically. It was first, non-angry reaction he'd seen from the boy in the last day or so.

He pulled himself gently from Katara's embrace, standing up. Katara stood up as well.

Aang asked, "Why is Zuko covered in blood?"

Katara snorted slightly. "It's a question I ask myself a lot."

Zuko shook his head. "We were attacked. It's not my blood."

The anger returned to Aang's face and his gripped his glider hard. He practically growled, "Sandbenders?"

Zuko frowned and shook his head. "No. Sand shark. It's dead now."

He didn't like the hatred that was emanating from the Airbender; he didn't like the way it was directed at a whole group of people, most of whom had never done the Avatar wrong. A small percentage of their population had done a bad thing.

It was a mindset that he'd had to develop over the last few years. The Fire Nation wasn't bad, but there are bad people in it. The Earth Kingdom wasn't bad, but there are bad people in it.

Spirits, sometimes people did bad things, but it didn't make them bad people. Sometimes bad things just happen.

He suspected that it was a worldview that Aang had no interest in adopting; he'd noticed several times that the Avatar tended to have a very 'black-and-white' approach to things. It wasn't a bad thing, exactly, but it was far to simplistic to encapsulate how the world actually was.

Zuko shook his head. He was getting far too philosophical about the whole thing.

He asked Aang, "Did you see a way out of the desert?"

By now Toph had accepted the fact that she had to wake up. She stomped over and stood beside Zuko, almost leaning against him. Sokka remained dead to the world.

Aang shook his head. "I flew for miles in every direction. Circled all around. The desert just kept going."

Zuko cursed under his breath.

Aang shook his head again, despair etched into his young features. "It's hopeless. We won't survive without Appa. We all know it."

Katara forced a smile and reached out, taking the boy's hand. She squeezed his fingers tight.

"Come on, Aang." She said encouragingly. "We can do this if we work together. Right, Toph? Zuko?"

Toph replied, "My senses are still kind of fuzzy out here, but as far as I can tell, we're trapped in a giant bowl of sand pudding. I got nothing."

Katara's face dropped slightly. She turned to Zuko.

He sighed. "The only way I got out of the desert last time was because the Sandbenders took pity on me."

Aang's face soured.

They heard laughter behind them. They turned to see Sokka, now awake but still lying down, batting at something that only he could see.

Katara tried, almost desperately, "Sokka? Any ideas how to find Ba Sing Se?"

Sokka stopped laughing and batting at the sky. He pointed straight up. "Why don't we ask the circle birds for help?"

Aang frowned. "Uhh… What's up with Sokka?"

Zuko sighed. "Long story. The short version is, don't eat or drink from cactus fruit."

Aang nodded slowly, still visibly confused. "Okay…"

Katara frowned and looked where her brother was pointing. She asked, "What are those things?"

Zuko squinted up as well. He said, "Buzzard wasps, I think. Probably want to avoid irritating them. They can be poisonous. And carnivorous."

Aang sat on the sand. He said tiredly, "We're doomed."

Toph frowned at him, but didn't disagree.

Katara looked to Zuko but he just shook his head. He had nothing to offer to counter the statement.

She shook her head, looking almost defiant. She said sternly, "We are getting out of this Spirits-forsaken desert and we're starting right now. We're going to do it together! Aang, stand up. Everybody is going to hold hands. We can do this. We have to."

Aang sighed, but complied. He took Katara's right hand. She offered Zuko her left, and he accepted. Toph reluctantly took hold of Zuko's left hand, and she got a firm grip on Sokka to ensure he didn't try to wander off.

They set of walking, Katara in the lead.

The buzzard wasps circle overhead.