A/N: Been awhile since I added a chapter to this silly story. This isn't a song. It's just a rather famous poem.


A Visit from "Saint" Nicholas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city
Chaos was raging. It sure wasn't pretty.
The villains were frolicking free of all care
While Avengers were not to be seen anywhere.
The townsfolk were hiding afraid and pinned down,
While minions of villainy plundered the town.
And I with my family was caught in the trap
While I longed for a sight of the Hulk or of Cap.
Then here on the street the noises grew stranger
So I took a quick peek to check for new danger
Out of the dark raced a van black as coal.
It braked to a halt with a screech like lost souls.
The moon dared to peek at the jeopardized metro
And shined like a spotlight on the action below
When what did appear to my wondering eyes,
But a carload of agents and heroes and spies
With a driver so striking, so forceful and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles Avengers they came,
And we whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"It's Hawkeye and Widow, the captain and Thor."
Then Stark hurtled past and Hulk leaped with a roar.
To the top of the bank! To the top of town hall!
Now dash off Avengers, oh dash away all!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the rooftops the heroes they flew
Hawkeye with Thor, and Iron Man, too.
And then, in a twinkling, the battle began
While my little group ran behind the black van.
Arrows were flying and lightning and fists
Widow was shooting and she never missed
A shield speeded past, then I turned around,
Out of the vehicle Nicholas came with a bound.
He was decked out in leather, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were the color of inkwells and soot.
A pump-action shotgun was slung on his back
And he looked like an angel of death all in black.
Nick's single eye was fierce with defiance
As the sound of repulsors shattered the silence.
Hawkeye was blowing up shit with his bow,
While Widow and Cap decimated their foes.
The stomp of a giant green foot shook the street
And lightning encircled Thor's head like a wreath.
Nick was striking and strong, SHIELD's consummate chief,
And I cried when I saw him in utter relief.
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Protecting my family while picking off jerks.
Then calling us all to his black SUV
He guarded our backs while we ran and got free.
The heroes prevailed and the bad guys were felled.
Throw them in prison, St. Nicholas yelled.
He sprang to his van, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a cross-country missile.
But we heard him command as he drove out of sight,
"Take five, but remember, your report's due tonight."


A/N: This was inspired by a television commercial with Samuel L. Jackson talking to Santa Claus. We realized they were both named Nicholas.