Saying goodbye to Solana has never been easy. I had to say goodbye for the first time when I was fifteen and heading for military school; Turian students live at the school full-time and can come home on holidays, but my father demanded that I take up additional training on the holidays instead of coming home. I was leaving the day before my fifteenth birthday with the understanding I'd be gone just about constantly until I was eighteen, and the only rescue was Saren recruiting me into sniper training early.
But I don't remember being scared or anxious or even excited that day. I don't remember most of my first couple weeks at military school. The entire experience is overshadowed in my mind because Solana cried her eyes out when they dropped me off at the shuttle. She begged me not to abandon her at home, pleaded with me not to forget her. She's four years younger than me, but we were connected at the hip at home, and I let her hang out with me and my friends more often than my friends would have liked. I loved her as my little shadow, and I'll never forget hurting her when I left that day.
After military school, I moved back home between missions with various squads and units while I promoted a few times. When I was twenty, I finally got the hell away from Palaven and my father, even if it was for C-Sec and not the Spectres like I would have wanted. But even though I hadn't been around much during those two years, Solana cried when I moved away to the Citadel. It was almost enough to convince me to stay. I absolutely hate having to say goodbye to my baby sister.
So, the moment I wake up on the day Solana is leaving the Normandy, I'm dreading having to say goodbye. Shepard can tell and she's really sweet, which I appreciate and maybe even shamelessly milk a little. It's nice to have her baby me sometimes. And it's especially nice that she's willing to be affectionate and sweet even with my father around.
I can't avoid the moment forever, and we have to get to the derelict Reaper while my dad and sister need to get back to the Citadel for my mom's treatments. I grab Solana before she can head for the airlock and duck into the empty crew bunk room, pulling her into a hug. "I hate when you leave, baby Sol."
"I know," she moans softly, burying her face in my shirt. "I mean, this is better than usual."
I pull back to frown down at her. "I haven't seen you for years, we got a few days together during which my bondmate was almost indoctrinated and nearly killed, and now you're leaving so I can go on a damn dangerous mission. This is better than usual?"
"Well, when you put it like that," she laughs. "I'm gonna miss you, and I hate leaving you - especially so soon, don't get me wrong. I hate that you're going through the Omega 4 Relay and to this dead Reaper thing. I mean...shit, Garrus, this is big. Why do you always gotta be a hero?"
She punches me in the chest and, as is my responsibility as her brother, I pretend it hurt a lot more than it did. There are tears building her eyes now though, and I almost wished I hadn't pushed her.
"You're not alone now, though," she reminds me. "You always had Nih, but you two weren't...it's not the same. You really have someone now, like Mom and Dad have each other, or Pia and Dex. Shepard is amazing, Garrus, and she loves you the way I always wanted someone to love you. You deserve that." She shrugs and wipes her eyes even though no tears have spilled yet. "So, yeah, this sucks. But it's better than before because of Shepard. And I know Shepard is going to drag you back through that damn relay and make sure you don't disappear again."
"Hey, I made you a promise," I remind her, catching her hand. "Never again. I'm gonna be around. Or at least call."
"I'm willing to take what I can get."
We both laugh again, and she comes back for another hug. She's right, this is a little easier. For me, it's because I know I'll be back with her and the rest of my family soon - Shepard included. I've been dreading going home even if I had been allowed because of my mom's illness. I can't stand being helpless. But now we have hope, and it's Shepard to thank for that, too.
I walk Solana to the airlock where somehow Shepard has my father smiling. Watching the two people I love most in a genuine embrace, fast friends and maybe even sisters, makes it hard to breathe for a second. It takes a second glance at my father to realize he's staring at me, and I brace for something bad immediately. I assume it'll be a comment about letting them go while I stay on a Cerberus ship. When he turns to me and holds out an arm, it's hard to breathe all over again - shock, this time.
"You have important work to do," he says sternly. It somehow sounds like an order. "I look forward to hearing about the mission when you come back. And to helping you both prepare Palaven however I can for the Reapers."
"We appreciate it," I assure him, accepting his forearm for a firm shake. He might even hold on a little longer than standard, but I might also be making that up. "And thank you for giving Shepard a chance, too. It's...more than I expected."
He looks at Shepard, laughing with Solana about something we aren't privy to, and nods. "She's special, even I have to admit that. I think your mother will love her."
"I think so, too. It means a lot to Shepard, you know. She...well, you know she doesn't have her own family." Everyone knows enough about Commander Shepard to know that she lived on Mindoir, but it still makes me uncomfortable to share anything of her part, her story on her behalf. Especially to someone like my father who still isn't exactly on Shepard's side. Not personally anyway.
"She's certainly fought to earn her place in the universe."
I scoff at that. "Yeah, well, I'm done having her fight for a place anywhere. Reapers are one thing, but...she has me now. I think other people would do well to remember that." My father turns slowly, and I can feel his eyes burning into the scarred side of my face for a moment before I turn to return his stare. He damn well heard me, and he'll mind himself with Shepard unless he wants a fight. "You have a safe trip back, Dad. Tell Mom I can't wait to see her."
For a second, I think he might smile. But then he just nods and turns away, calling for Solana. She gives me one more hug, and then dutifully follows our dad off the Normandy and onto their ride for the Citadel. I don't know when I'll see them again, but I know it'll be as soon as I can. No more hiding. And this time, I'll get to introduce them to my girl.
"Hey, come here." Shepard doesn't hesitate or resist, coming into my arms and wrapping her arms slowly around my neck while I slip my hands over her thighs. "Do you have any idea how proud I am to have you as mine? I've had friends for decades who still haven't managed to get so much as a nod of respect from my father. You're incredible."
She laughs it off. "Tell your friends to get shot a bunch of times, that seemed to do the trick."
I roll my eyes, but before I can respond, Shepard shuts me up with those perfect, full lips of hers. I melt for her in an instant and pull her body flush against mine, more than prepared to take her in this airlock. It's one of the few places on the ship I haven't at least felt her up at this point, and now seems like the perfect time to rectify that.
"Gross."
Or it would be the perfect time, except Joker is three feet away.
"Ship full of cock blocks, I swear," I mumble into Shepard's shoulder when she pulls away. She laughs and shoves me away playfully, but I'm forced to actually let her go. Our visitors have gone, and we have the next step to taking down the Collectors. It's time to get to work.
I'm absolutely going to find an excuse to grope her in the airlock later, though.
The crew gathers eagerly for information about the mission to the derelict Reaper. The IFF is the final piece of the puzzle to get us through the Omega 4 Relay. This entire team plans to win and survive that mission, and stopping the Collectors means saving hundreds of thousands of human lives. None of us is thrilled about the Illusive Many anymore, but we're already ready to get to the Collector base and destroy them.
We're ready to give another hit to Reapers, another small win in the start of this war - just like Sovereign and the Alpha Relay were wins.
I have to be honest with the crew that the Illusive Man is sending us this mission, and everyone knows that he screwed us the last time something like this came up. But no one argues that we shouldn't go. We all know he's got our backs pressed against the wall with this, but we have no choice.
Mordin sums it up best: "Lied to us. Used us. Needed access to Collector data banks. Necessary risk."
"Let's just hope this IFF works," Garrus notes, arms crossed over his chest. His biceps are almost enough to distract me from the mission, but not enough for me to completely miss that Kelly and Thane are standing very close together. And they're cute about it, too.
Oh, boy. She's in for a world of hurt, falling for that guy.
EDI snaps me out of the thoughts when she announces, "Shepard, I have analyzed the navigational data collected to determine the approximate location of the Collector homeworld."
The AI pulls up a galaxy map in the middle of the comm room table, zooms in through the Omega 4 Relay, and then...centers on the middle of the map. The...core?
"Better run the diagnostics," Zaeed snarks. I don't hide rolling my eyes at him, and Garrus doesn't bother to hide the way she smirks at it. He knows I can't stand the merc, and it's not a secret Zaeed feels the same way about me.
But right now, we have bigger issues.
"My calculations are correct," EDI says firmly. "The Collector homeworld is located within the galactic core."
"Can't be," Jacob counters. "The core is just black holes and exploding stars. There are no habitable planets there."
"Could be artificial construction," Mordin offers. "Space station protected by powerful mass effect fields and radiation shields."
Miranda scoffs. "Even the Collectors don't have that kind of technology."
"Sovereign did," Tali chimes in ominously.
"Tali's right, and we know the Collectors are just servants of our real enemy," I remind them. "And we've all seen what their masters are capable of. They built the mass relays and the Citadel. Who's to say they can't build a space station surrounded by black holes?"
No one argues it, but no one looks any more comfortable with it than I feel either. Getting through the relay and back safely just got a whole bunch more complicated. I can't help but think about Solana and Castis; they both urged us to get back safely before leaving the Normandy on their shuttle. Well, Castis might have threatened me. But still. I have his son's life in my hands, so I get it. And I have every intention of keeping him alive.
"The logical conclusion is that a small safe zone exists on the far side of the relay," EDI tells us. "A region where ships can survive. Standard relay transit protocols would not allow safe transport. Drift of several thousand kilometers is common and would be fatal in the galactic core. The Reaper IFF must trigger the relay to use more advanced, encrypted protocols."
Kasumi whistles. "No wonder nobody's ever returned from a trip through the Omega 4 Relay."
"Until us," Garrus notes.
I nod to him, my confidence boosted by his. That doesn't mean this is going to be easy, though.
"We'll go to the derelict Reaper, get the IFF, and take the Collectors out. But we're not going through until we have that IFF and until we're ready." I look around at my team, my family. "We are not treating this a suicide mission. We are going to plan to get back, to have our futures. I don't want to hear any talk otherwise. We're saving the galaxy and making it back. You got me?"
I'm greeted with salutes and cheers, everyone in the room pumped up and ready to go. And I'm going to need them that way as we move forward. Much harder battles are facing us, and I expect us to win them all.
"Garrus and Tali, you're coming with me into the Reaper. Everyone else should stay at their battlestations and ready."
"Dibs on firing the Thanix first if we need it for the Reaper," Matthews announces, a shit eating grin across the table at Garrus.
The Turian narrows his eyes with no heat. "Go ahead and try it, Matthews. Please."
For just a second, the crewman looks terrified of the seven-foot wall of muscle and military might. It only lasts for that second - probably both because he's in public and because he knows better than to fear Garrus - but that's enough for everyone to notice. The look on Matthews face says very clearly that he knows he's not going to live that down anytime soon.
As the crew starts to file out, cackling laughter and poking fun at their friend, I ask Joker how long 'til the Reaper. When he tells me that we have until tomorrow morning, Garrus's entire demeanor changes, and I know exactly what he's thinking. And he's certainly not the only one. But for once, I have the plan.
"Did you know Kelly and Thane are a thing?" I ask him when we're alone, planting my palms on the table. His eyes drift to my cleavage immediately, and I have to fight a smile off my face.
"You mean that they're fucking? Of course, I knew." He starts coming toward me around the table, and I take measured steps away from him to keep a distance.
"You didn't tell me?"
He makes a face, dragging his talons lightly on the table as he rounds a corner. I keep backing away. "Do you have a vested interest in who either of them is getting into bed with?"
"It was you both of them wanted, if I recall," I tease. And then in an instant, Garrus makes up all the length between us, snatches me into his arms, and gets a rather undignified squeal out of me.
"Running from me?" he growls into my throat, holding me loosely enough that I can squirm around. "Keep fooling around, and you might need to get tied down."
"As much fun as that sounds..." I get just enough room to twist around, then use his carapace for leverage to swing my legs around his hips. "I have something else in mind. We got a very special delivery, you know."
"Did we?" He needs all of a second to think it over before he realizes what I'm talking about, and then something dangerous flashes through his eyes. "Oh, really?"
I nod, biting my lip and trying to feel him out. He's so damn controlled, though. "I mean...you want to, right?"
"Mmm, I want you," he purrs, leaning in and nipping my nip for me. "You have anything to do right now?"
"No, but you're not allowed to carry me to the elevator." The look he gives me makes me laugh, but I make him put me down anyway. I do have some limits. Not that I think he'd actually try to carry me in front of the crew anyway. He happily holds my hand, though.
We get sidetracked a little on the way because of course we do. And because he had a point about cockblocks around here. A different sort of cock tonight. My body rocks with a shudder, and Garrus gives me a look that makes the shudder even worse. He's more determined to escape then and throws the guys some promises about a poker game before pulling me into the elevator with him.
"I miss being the grumpy Turian who hid in the Main Battery sometimes," he quips, shoving me against the wall and pinning me there with his body. "You would come in, yell at me a little, ride my cock." His teeth drag down my throat, heat tearing through my core. "No one would stop me to talk."
"God, you make me miss you being grumpy," I admit, my knees already weak. Clearly, tools we're using don't have an impact on who is topping, and Garrus is not letting go of his dominance.
That only makes me even more excited to make him fall apart tonight.
Garrus tugs me out of the elevator with him, not letting me go far, and right into our quarters. But the moment we step inside, reality hits. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Of course, Garrus can read that on me almost instantly, and I feel him smile against my mouth while he walks me to the bed, sits, and pulls me onto his lap. "You have questions. Talk to me."
"I just..." I laugh a little and shake my head. "Never been in this position before. Well...not this position, the one we'll...you know what I mean."
"Wow, rambling. You must really be freaked out."
I swat him lightly for laughing at me, aware that he's teasing and not at all mad about it. Besides, I feel a little silly about it myself.
"Just relax," he breathes, tipping my head back with a hand in my hair to whisper it against my lips. "Same as every other night, Shepard. You'll drive me wild, I'll get even crazier about you, and we'll make a mess."
Laughing relaxes me instantly, and I pull him down to deepen his next kiss. He doesn't resist, slipping his tongue through my lips when I moan. He says I drive him wild, but in what feels like seconds, I'm hot and panting for him. I can't help myself from practically clawing him out of his clothes, and Garrus makes no effort to slow or calm me down, just as eager to get me naked.
Even as well as we know one another's bodies by now, I never stop being eager to explore his, and Garrus always seems just as excited to touch, lick, and nip me everywhere he can. His mouth on my nipples gets my spine arching, and his fingers between my legs make me fall apart completely for him.
He lays back after, looking damn proud of himself and stroking that magnificent cock of his. I'm panting, sweaty, and my spine is loose while he's all fabulous and collected. I'm definitely not letting that stand. Not tonight.
I climb off the bed and grab what I need, a harness I've already tried on twice out of curiosity and fear that I wouldn't know how to get into it when the moment came, and a dildo that scared me a little at first glance. We went for a Turian design in the shop since that's what Garrus is into, and it's quite a weapon to have loaded between your legs.
Garrus lets me balance on his shoulders while I climb in, touching me everywhere he can while pulling the strap on into place. "Well, damn," he growls, leaning back a little to get a full look at me. "You make that look really fucking hot, Shepard."
"I...don't know what to do," I admit.
"You can do whatever you want," he replies, giving me a very meaningful look. "I'm all yours, baby. Come here."
Obeying him is definitely something I can do, and kissing him quickly puts me at ease again. He moans deeply when my hand wraps around his cock, and the sound spurs me on.
He leans over to the table at the side of the bed and comes back with the lube. That certainly makes this all feel real.
"Easy, baby," he breathes, coming back to me for another deep kiss. He breaks it to kiss down my neck, his tongue rough and perfectly hot. I want it on every inch of my skin in an instant. "I'll walk you through this. I always do, right?" I manage a nod, holding onto him for stability as much as arousal now. "You remember my safeword and yours?"
"Yes," I answer, the word coming out like a sigh. I'm completely relieved that I can still count on him to lead me, to guide me through this, no matter the specifics. It makes me feel like we really can do anything, like I'm capable of anything with him.
"Good girl. Then we have everything we need." He kisses me again, tongue playing languidly in my mouth. "Why don't you start with that perfect mouth of yours? We'll see how you feel continuing from there."
I can't help whimpering into his mouth, but I manage to get out, "Yes, sir," before sinking to my knees in front of him. In part because I'm nervous but also because I want to give him a chance to back out if he wants to, I start slowly. It helps that he really enjoys that, and I don't at all hate exploring every ridge, every inch of his cock. I let my tongue follow the thick veins along his length, I mouth his head lightly, I play with his balls. And when I can tell he's seconds from just fucking my mouth, I finally take him in.
Garrus releases an incredibly gratifying groan and slumps back on the bed, legs kicking restlessly and talons fisting the blankets. I love the taste of him, I love driving him wild like this. I love the way his spine starts to arch when I tug on his quad and the way he growls my name when I take his balls in my mouth gently while stroking his long cock. I can tell he wants more, that he wants to order me to fuck him now that he knows I have the tools, but he'll let me set the pace. Probably because he knows I don't have the self-control to hold back anyway.
While he's distracted by my hand and mouth, I lube up the strap on, remembering that he told me to be liberal when we used the vibrator but trying to match the slickness to the natural lubrication on his dick. I get it on my finger as well, and press that into him first. There's a good reason he stretches me out first, after all, and I do not want to end up hurting him. Garrus's cries get sharper when I add my mouth, letting him into the back of my throat while pressing my finger fully inside him.
And then when I stand, pressing the strap on where my finger just was, and slowly thrust my hips forward, he cries out my name in a way that sets my heart racing and heat surging to my clit. "Mmm, Elle," he moans when I hesitate, reaching for my hips and tugging me closer. "You won't break me."
I recognize the challenge in his eyes, and I'm not about to let that go.
At first, it's a little weird for me. It's not exactly the part of this I'm used to doing, and it takes me a few moments to get used to the motion, but watching Garrus and listening to the signals he's giving helps. And it doesn't feel wrong. It feels pretty damn great, actually, to watch him enjoy this - enjoy me - so much. It's exactly the same reason I love giving him blowjobs, only I have an even better angle to see his face here.
I test out going faster, harder, and I realize quickly that I'm not nearly as graceful as he is with this. I'm gaining a whole new appreciation for the way Garrus uses his cock, but I'm pretty clearly getting the job done. And when I have the good sense to grab his cock, I get downright proud of myself for his reaction. "Baby, just like that. Harder."
I obey him, as always, and love the sound of my hips slapping against his while I continue to jerk him roughly. I'm achingly turned on, my legs nearly shaking with need, but I'm unwilling to give up the way he's growling my name. And then he falls apart for me, snarling through his orgasm in an incredibly sexy way while exploding over his own stomach and chest. My moans join his because holy shit he's sexy, but I don't have a lot of time to dwell on it because in an instant, I'm flipped onto my back on the bed.
Garrus releases the strap on expertly, and then that fantastic tongue of his is deep inside me. I'm already painfully hot for him, and he knows exactly how to touch me, so it feels like seconds before I'm thrown violently into a fantastic orgasm. And then we cry out together when thrusts into me, his cock stretching me perfectly. He leans over me, pinning my hands above my head while pounding inside me, his cum getting all over both of us. I love knowing that I got him hot like this; his enjoyment only makes this better for me.
"Do you have any idea how completely you own me?" he growls in my ear. "I'll promise you my heart, body, and soul when we're officially bonded. You have it all, all of me, Elle."
Formulating coherent words is impossible while he's ravaging me. The best I can do is cry out his name and cling to him. He moans deeply, nuzzling his face against mine. His soft affection while he fucks me brutally makes my head spin; he manages to be everything I need all at once and without me ever having needed to ask him. He just knows.
He owns me entirely, too.
We peak and shatter together. I lose the entire room, the whole universe, in that moment. Everything centers on Garrus; nothing matters outside of this room and this man. He holds me close and strokes steadily through his orgasm, big body shuddering and quaking. I pull his face to mine and kiss him, Garrus bottoming out inside me and holding there for a long, slow kiss.
We both linger, in the kiss and in each other. I don't want to let him go, not ever if I can help it. Garrus must be thinking the same because even as he breaks the kiss and pulls out of me, he pulls me to stand with him and then scoops me up into his arms. He doesn't let me out of his arms in the shower, and I don't mind at all, the two of us carefully and tenderly washing one another. I watch him at first, trying to find any sign that he didn't enjoy any part of that, but I quit pretty quickly. He's as blissed out as I am.
Neither of us says a word while we get ready for bed, our kitten coming back into our quarters right on cue. Garrus lifts the little guy onto the bed before crawling into bed with me. We meet in the middle of the bed, and I can't help a laugh when Monster takes it upon himself to lay directly between our faces. Garrus isn't having it, but the kitten doesn't seem to mind and snuggles against my chest instead.
"Lucky little monster," Garrus teases. He rewards me with a smile when I laugh again. His hand finds mine, and he tangles our fingers. I tangle my legs up in his, shamelessly getting as close as I can.
"You're such an excellent space heater," I inform him. "I save a fortune in blankets with you around."
"So glad I have my uses," he says through a yawn. He's adorable when he yawns, and someday, I'll be brave enough to tell him that. Today is not that day. He squeezes my hand and asks, "You feel okay about everything we did tonight?"
"More than okay," I assure him, unable to keep from smiling. "Getting to watch you be the one to fall apart for once was..." I don't have the words, and I don't fight the shudder that runs down my spine.
"For once?" He laughs. "Shepard, I fall apart for you almost constantly. How is it possible you don't know that yet?" I just shrug because I don't have words for that either. He wouldn't like it if I told him that I don't think I deserve him. He doesn't push, just smiles and leans in to kiss me softly, careful not to hurt Monster on the way.
My body is loose and easy, my bed is comfortable and warm, and my fiance is incredible. We have a huge mission looming tomorrow, but somehow he always manages to help me find peace. I couldn't lead as effectively as I need to without that; if Garrus weren't here, I'd be up here pacing and full of anxiety, freaking out about tomorrow even though it wouldn't help anyone. Instead, because of him, I can slip softly into a deep, peaceful sleep and take on the threats facing the universe tomorrow.
In the morning, Joker flies steadily toward the Hawking ETA while we sit down to breakfast, and the pilot joins us once we're through the relay into the system. An hour until Mnemosyne, and the tension is exactly at the level I'd expect. Not too bad. Tali and Garrus at least are calm.
As the three of us head out to gear up, Jacob stands and says, "Shepard, I was able to repair the damage to your armor. You wanna come grab it from the armory?"
"Oh, thank God," I breathe, relief sweeping over me.
"Are the spare suits that uncomfortable?" Garrus chuckles.
"They are if you have tits," I answer, not even trying to hide my scowl. I shoot a look at Miranda and note, "The one way Cerberus decided to follow the Alliance, and it's standard-sized chest plates?"
She gives me a deadpan look and asks, "Why do you think I don't wear the armor?"
"I'm confused," Thane admits, cocking his head to the side. It's adorable and almost enough to make me laugh.
"The Alliance has a lot of outdated policies and standards, and when they first started, the men who led it apparently believed the only women who would enlist had exactly zero curves," I tell him. "And it hasn't gotten better. There's a standard chest plate for people with breasts, so if you have a bigger chest - "
Hadley makes a noise that gets him shoved right out of his chair, the Turian at fault only grinning down at him when Hadley climbs off the ground. Of course, Hadley is laughing, too.
"I mean, I was gonna say the same thing," Kasumi announces, ogling me blatantly.
"Yeah, well. I spent a lot of years taping my tits down until I could get custom armor. And now I do my best not to get it ruined."
Garrus looks me over, his gaze full of enough heat to melt me right here, and I feel my cheeks flare with heat even though he's not drawing attention to himself. I'd love to know what he's thinking about right now, but Jacob and Tali join us on the elevator to the armory.
"I'm surprised the Alliance is still so archaic about things like this, Shepard," Tali says.
"You'd wouldn't if you knew the whole truth of it," I counter. "Sexism is popular with humans; that hasn't changed no matter how many worlds we've seen and settled."
"Makes you wish you were a member of a species without breasts, huh?" Jacob quips with a smirk.
"I have objections to that," Garrus chimes in, still giving me that same heated look. I wish I could shove him out of a chair, but I can't help laughing with Tali and Jacob either. He's lucky he's so damn cute. And lucky that I'm practically sweating with a need to know why he's looking at me like that.
We get to the armory and quickly get changed and gear up. It drives me nuts that, on this ship, we have to get ready in a completely different area of the ship than we start missions from. An armory should be in the Cargo Bay at least. I mention that to Jacob, and he gives me a look that assures me he has shared the same concern multiple times.
I assume things are going smoothly so far, until we start getting tossed around in the elevator on the way down to the Cargo Bay. "Joker jerking off in the cockpit again?" Garrus asks EDI, his tone betraying his actual concern.
"You should get up to the cockpit, Commander," Joker answers instead, his voice serious too.
We leave Jacob and Tali in the Cargo Bay, and Garrus stays with me for the ride back up. A complaint about the speed of the elevator is on the tip of my tongue, but it's lost when Garrus turns and pins me against the wall, standing so close I have to tilt my head back to look up at him.
"I could not stop thinking about fucking your tits while you were complaining about the armor," he confesses in a rush, hands planted beside me on the wall. "You have valid concerns, and I hate the Alliance's sexism, but Spirits, Shepard, if I could go one day without an erection in my armor or that I have to hide in front of the crew, that would be lovely."
"Oh, what's the fun in that?" I tease, delighted that he wants me to the point of discomfort. Even if it means thinking about me naked during important discussions. We have a lifetime of important discussions ahead of us anyway.
He growls and ducks down to kiss me. "The fun will come later when I get to make you cum just by playing with them. And then you can make me cum with them, too."
"Well," I breathe, trying to pull myself together instead of melting right here. "That's an excellent incentive to make it back alive."
"That's my goal." He kisses me again, and I lean heavily into it, but we're jolted apart by another hard round of turbulence. This one is worse, and it doesn't seem to be quitting anytime soon.
The crew in the CIC is doing their best to stay on their feet and keep things off the floor while we run through, the ship rocking and bouncing under our feet. I hit the rail on the bridge harder than I'd like while we try to cross it. This is far from normal on the Normandy, especially with Joker at the helm.
"What's with all the chop, Joker?" I ask as we reach the cockpit.
"I'm doing my best. Winds are gusting to five hundred kph." Garrus swears, then catches my elbows before another bump can toss me off my feet. His weight goes a long way to keeping him steadier, and I grab the back of Joker's chair to help myself. "There's a second ship alongside the Reaper," Joker tells us. "It's not transmitting any signals, but the radar thinks its silhouette is Geth."
"Explains why the Cerberus science team stopped reporting in," Garrus notes, a little growl in his voice.
All at one, the turbulence stops. It's so sudden a loss of movement that it nearly throws me off my feet just as much as the chop did. "What just happened?" I ask.
"The Reaper's mass effect fields are still active," the pilot explains. "We just passed inside their envelope. Eye of the hurricane, huh?"
"You said it. Keep a distance, Joker, and we'll take a shuttle down. I don't want the Normandy any closer to that thing than she needs to be."
Garrus scoffs playfully. "But it's okay if we're close to that thing. Your logic is infallible, Commander."
"And my fiance is intolerable," I quip back. It earns me a slap to my ass that doesn't hurt through the armor but is certainly a promise of things to come. More incentive.
No matter how we were all feeling before, the moods shifts and grows heavy on the shuttle to the Cerberus science station attached to the Reaper. Approaching it feels ominous. We know what these things are, what they can do, what they want from us. And now we're walking into the belly of the beast.
It doesn't help that the first thing we see when we step off the shuttle is a very dead scientist laying in a pool of blood. Everything is as still and silent as that dead man, and it immediately lays an eerie atmosphere on top of us.
"Exploring an abandoned area, expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at any moment," Garrus muses. He flashes a grin at me and Tali. "Just like old times."
I roll my eyes at him but it does the trick of soothing us enough that we can get moving. He's got a knack for doing that, even when I know he's tense and uncomfortable too. I'll have to thank him for it later.
We head down the first hallway and stop when we find a small research station. Garrus moves right for a wall safe, while Tali and I set to checking consoles for data. There's part of me that wants to argue we shouldn't be stealing, especially from the safe, but then I remember this is Cerberus and I don't give a shit. Plus, whatever Garrus is going to spend the credits on will either benefit the mission or me.
And I really want every opportunity I have to fuck the Illusive Man over.
Tali calls me over to a work log she's found and plays it for me. A Cerberus officer pops up on the video. "The airlock has been installed at the far end of the hold section. We have begun pressurization for shirt sleeves work. The crew is edgy. I reassured them it is mere nerves, a superstitious reaction to what this hull represents: the corpse of a vaste and ancient life form. Privately, I can't deny the atmosphere." He leans closer to the camera. "The angles of the walls seem to press down on you. I find myself clenching my teeth."
"Well, that's reassuring," Garrus mutters.
"I did not need the reminder of what we're standing in." I look around, aware of something itching at the back of my brain. And now I don't know if that's real or if I'm psyching myself out in here.
"You know, I think I'll go back to the ship," Tali announces, throwing her hands up. "Or maybe all the way back to the Flotilla. Omega, even. Literally anywhere has to be safer than the things you manage to find, Shepard."
Garrus barks out a laugh as the wall safe pops open, and I glare at Tali. "You know, you scared me. I thought you were actually telling me you're leaving."
"Oh, Keelah. You're stuck with me, Shepard." All is forgiven when she squeezes me in a tight hug, and I can't help a laugh. My friends are the best jerks in the universe.
We continue through the station and to the next research station. There's another work log here, and a different Cerberus Officer pops up now. "We finished cataloguing species A203 to B016. No evidence of active nanotechnology noted. Dr. Chendena believes they would have decayed over the last thirty-seven million years, but there's not enough data to support his claim. He asserts that the truth is patently obvious. I am...concerned. Chendena's been staring at the samples for hours. He says he's listening to them."
Okay, now I'm almost sure that itching in my brain is real. And it's bad, completely unnerving. We're walking into a Reaper, and these things...I've already had one in my brain.
"I need you to not have that look on your face going into this," Garrus says, startling me out of my thoughts.
"What look?"
"Like you're expecting to be indoctrinated," he snaps, startling me all over again. "I need that to end now if we're going to continue this mission, especially after what you made me promise."
"I..." I have no retort, no argument. I'm not expecting to be indoctrinated, and I most definitely don't want to be. But he's not entirely wrong. I'm thinking about it like an inevitability - I'm expecting to feel that horrible sensation again. "Okay. You're right. They're not getting in again. Okay?"
He just gives me a tight nod and turns away, definitely not convinced or pleased with me. I knew how it would go over when I asked Garrus to stop me if I should ever get indoctrinated, but I also knew I didn't have a choice. It's not the sort of thing I can put in my final wishes, and I definitely couldn't trust anyone else to know early enough. I expected it might cause a little lasting tension with us, and I don't hold that against him. But I'm also not just letting it go.
"Hey." I catch his arm and turn him back to me. He doesn't resist, but he also doesn't look at me. "I know you hate it. But you have no idea how much it means to me that you promised anyway. I love you so much." I tug him down by the carapace and kiss his cheek. "Thank you."
"I'm not saying your welcome," he growls. He finally looks at me, and I assume that's a good thing. "I love you, too."
Good enough for now.
"Do I want to know what you made him promise to do?" Tali asks, her tone saying that she has her suspicions and doesn't like them. I just squeeze her hand in answer. I don't need to hurt both my best friends with this.
Tali doesn't push because she's the best, and we follow Garrus to the airlock that should let us onto the Reaper. I watch him take a breath and glance at me once more before unlocking the door.
The moment the doors are unlocked, the entire airlock - maybe even the whole Reaper - rocks heavily. There's a new hum beneath my boots, and I'm not enjoying the flashback of the Collector ship hitting me right now.
"What just happened?"
"Normandy to shore party!" Joker calls over the comms. "The Reaper put up kinetic barriers. I don't think we can get through from our side."
"As curious as I am about the Reapers, I'd rather not be trapped inside one," Tali quips, though I'm certain it's not quite a joke.
"We'll have to take down the barrier generators from in here," Garrus says. "EDI, any idea where they are?"
"At the moment of activation, I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck's mass effect core." At least EDI seems calm. "Sending the coordinates now. Be advised. This core is also maintaining the Reaper's altitude."
Garrus frowns, mandibles tight to his face. "So when we take the barriers down to escape, the ship will fall into the planet's core."
"And that means everyone dies," Joker chimes in, deadpan. And for him, deadpan means that he's freaking out.
"If any helmsman can pull us off this thing before it reaches crush depth, it's you, Joker," I assure him. And I mean every word. The one thing I'm not worried about with this mission is Joker's piloting skills. "We'll do a sweep for survivors and recover what data we can."
"Aye aye, Commander," he replies, much more confident now. "Good hunting."
I nod to Garrus and Tali, both of them ready to continue with me. We're not getting scared of this thing before we get what we came for. The IFF is too important.
We move through the doors and into the Reaper itself. There's a platform Cerberus built that we continue using, and every so often, we cross a dead Cerberus officer and scientist. Their bodies look destroyed. It's disturbing, but not exactly new where Reapers are involved. Or Geth. Or Cerberus, for that matter.
We find another log, and two new scientists pop up. The camera is in the corner of the room the scientists are standing in, and I'm not sure whether or not they're aware of it. They're only paying attention to each other.
"You're married?" the first one asks. "You never mentioned that."
"Katie had anger management issues," the other answers, his voice fond. "When my brother got married, the best man tried to hit on her. She kicked him down the church steps."
"What?" the first scientist breathes, turning slowly to face his friend. "Katie's my wife. I...I must have told you that story."
"No," the other almost laughs - almost because he sounds too disturbed for it to be a laugh. "I know my wife. I remember, that day was the only time I saw her wear stockings."
"Yeah. The kind with the seams up the back. That's what I remember, too."
They stare at each other before the second, Katie's other husband, demands, "What the hell is this? How can we remember the same thing?"
The video ends, and the three of us are left standing there like smacked asses. That was almost as disturbing as the husks.
"We know from experience Reapers can screw with minds," Tali notes. Garrus's hand comes down heavy on my shoulder. I don't know that's more for him or me, and I don't really care because it helps. "I'll never forget the way those beacons attacked you, Shepard. The things these things can do..."
Tali looks around at the thing we're all standing inside and visibly shudders.
I shake it off, closing the log. "Let's get this over with and get the hell out of here."
Neither of them argues or even seems to want to, and we push down the platform, further into the Reaper. We don't get far before an ominous growl that is becoming all too familiar echoes around us. Seconds later, the husks follow their sound and nearly flood the platform. These things have never stopped freaking me out, no matter how many times we've seen them.
Fortunately, we have seen them enough times that taking them out isn't too much of a challenge anymore. Tali gives us an additional advantage today, making most of the containers and equipment that Cerberus left behind explode. Garrus wipes most of them out before they get close, and when the numbers overwhelm his skills, I pick up where he leaves off and finish them off.
"I'd wondered if the technology to make husks came from the geth or Sovereign," Garrus muses once we're clear of the enemy for a moment.
"Geth origin never made sense to me," Tali notes. "This confirms they're from the Reapers."
We clear the platform and move to the next, only to face very much the same thing. There are more, so Garrus switches to his assault rifle, which is much more effective for close-range enemies like husks. I know he doesn't like it as much, but he's still an exceptional shot with the thing. That doesn't mean I don't tease him about getting ahead on kills for once.
When they're all gone, we play another work log. It's the same two guys as the last one, and I grimace. These guys have brought no good news for us.
"Third day with this headache," the first man groans. "You'd think Chandena would let me take a few hours off." Suddenly, though nothing on camera changes, his entire body startles and he cries, "God damn!"
The other one spins in the direction the first is looking. He doesn't startle at all, so I don't know what we're missing off screen. "What?!"
"That thing, that...a gray thing!" he cries, pointing off screen. "It...it disappeared when I looked straight at it. It came outta the damn wall! Where we took off that panel."
He grabs his head, clearly panicking, and the other holds his hands up to placate. "I don't see anything. You should lie down."
"I'm telling you...this ship isn't dead. It know we're inside it."
My stomach turns, and I feel a crawling through my skin accompanying the return of that itch at the back of my head. But it's not really there. And even if it really is, it can't have me. I'm not going to let these sons of bitches take me.
"If it's not dead, it will be," I remind Tali and Garrus, proud of my voice for sounding firm. I feel even more proud when I can tell Garrus is.
"That's my girl," he breathes with a nod, slipping a fresh heat sink into his rifle.
We press forward. Straight is a dead end, so I start down that way, but all at once, Garrus has my back slammed into the railing. There's a second where I think it was an overreaction to the two husks that just emerged, but then the husks go down, one after the other in quick succession.
They get shot down. And none of us shot them.
"Sniper!" Tali calls, realizing just as I have - and both of us several seconds behind Garrus somehow.
"A good one," Garrus growls, releasing me to scan the hallway carefully. "We have to go this way."
I can tell he's not pleased about it. "Whoever it was, they shot the husks. That has to be a good sign. And if it's not, we'll deal with them, too." I take his shoulder this time and wait until he looks at me. "We'll keep cover until we determine whether the shooter is hostile, though. Okay?"
"Okay," he agrees with a nod. "Thank you for being cautious."
"I have lots to live for, big guy." I get a grin from him when I wink, and he quickly bumps my forehead with his.
We get on with it after that, heading down the hallway. It appears completely empty, even as we move down a ramp. And then husks start crawling up on the platform from every direction. Many more than we've ever seen in one place, and it's one hell of a fight. Especially when the Scion's show up.
It's not an easy battle. We're on unfamiliar territory with an enemy that most without any strategy or instinct that we can understand or anticipate, and around every corner, we're expecting much worse. Cover doesn't help with husks; all we can do is keep them from surrounding or cornering ourselves and one another. It gets close a couple times, but we keep each other safe.
I'm sweating by the time we clear out another platform, and I'm grateful for the break when we find another terminal. It's the guy who was telling us about his concerns for Chandena before, and he looks a lot more haunted here.
"Chandena said the ship was dead. We trusted him. He was right, but even a dead god can dream. A god, a real god, is a verb. Not some old man with magic powers, it's a force. It warps reality just by being there. It doesn't have to want to, it doesn't have to think about it, it just does." He shakes his head. "What Chandena didn't get, not until it was too late, is the god's mind is gone but it still dreams. He knows now. He's tuned in on our dreams. If I close my eyes, I can feel him. I can feel every one of us."
Garrus makes a face at the log. "Can we stop listening to these things? They get creepier every damn time."
"Everything about this place is creepy. Including this," I say, motioning to the end of the platform and leading them there. It's those horrible spikes the Geth - and apparently, the Reapers - use to transform humans into husks.
"We've seen these too many times," Tali breathes. "Your people call them Dragon's Teeth, right, Shepard?"
I nod. "First time we saw these was on Eden Prime. They don't get easier."
Garrus looks around the room, and he motions toward the pipes extending toward the Dragon's Teeth and the center of the room. "See the way the room's laid out? They treated this thing like some kind of altar."
"That doesn't seem right," Tali protests. "No one in their right mind would want this."
"You heard the logs. They were seeing things, hearing things." Garrus shakes his head, his shoulders heavy. "They were being indoctrinated."
"We can't help these people. But we won't let the machines use their corpses like this," I tell them. "This place falls into the planet core, it'll be destroyed and put an end to all this."
We reach the newly installed airlock which leads to the area of the ship the Cerberus scientists were working in when they disappeared. The VI tells us that it's been five days without a workplace death before the doors open, a morbid reminder of how long the people here were trapped; we've been in here for a couple hours and I'm crawling out of my skin.
The room the airlock leads to is larger than the platform, so I signal for Tali and Garrus to spread out. If the husks overwhelm a platform this size, we're screwed, so I need them focused on the edges.
I only get three steps into the room myself, weapon trained and eyes scanning, when something searing hot grazes my hair. It buzzes in my ear, and only after the pain registers do I hear the pop. A rifle. It's immediately followed by a thump behind me, and Garrus is back at my side by the time I turn to find a husk down.
It got within feet of me, and I had no idea.
It almost had me, and then someone shot it. I turn to follow the trajectory as Garrus does the same. Tali joins us as I find myself staring at a Geth on an upper platform. It's not firing at us, not even aiming. Just watching. And it's wearing an N7 armor chest piece.
"Shepard-Commander." It takes me a second to realize that the heavily-augmented voice came from the Geth. It...speaks?
And it knows my name.
And then it turns around and walks away, leaving the three of us gobsmacked.
"Talking Geth," Tali breathes. "That's...new."
"Guess we found the sniper, though."
Garrus ignores both of us and turns me to face him. He takes my face between his hands and searches me, his fingers gently grazing my ear. The touch doesn't hurt, so I assume there's no injury. Garrus becomes convinced of the same quickly and nods to himself before releasing me again. "Sorry," he offers. "Had to check."
"I'm not sorry," I assure him. "Thank you." And I mean it. Having someone who cares is a luxury in our line of work.
We don't have more time as a luxury though, as those haunting growls return to us, quickly followed by husks. We get back into formation and into business mode, putting the Geth sniper out of our minds for now to push forward. They're seemingly endless, but we make progress consistently, eventually clearing the platform and continuing.
I lose count of kills early on, and it hits me that this is a first. I always had at least a confident count because the game that we play, the game we kept as tradition is important to me. And today, there are so many enemies, that I can't keep count. But that doesn't mean I'm going to accept defeat.
"I assume I'm winning," I note, keeping my voice casual because that will get to Garrus more than anything.
He's six feet away but I hear his grunt loud and clear over the guns. "Why in the galaxy would you assume something so preposterous? You're obviously delusional. And you've clearly lost count, so you forfeit."
"Are you telling me you have an exact count?" I demand, skeptical.
He turns his head just enough to let me see the flash of a grin. "No, but we can assume I'm winning."
"Dick," I laugh.
"Actually," Tali interjects, "I think Shepard is ahead today."
"Oh! We have a witness, big guy, you've lost."
"This isn't over yet," Garrus notes, taking down several husks with one shot. I'm certain he timed the shot for right then to show off. The laughter creates a morale boost that lets us finish out this swarm.
I head for a cache of heat sinks Cerberus left with Tali beside me, until she stumbles and hits the platform. I'm confused until a bark of familiar laughter from behind me and Tali swearing under her breath tells me everything I need to know.
"Really, Vakarian?" I drawl, reaching down to offer Tali a hand up while giving Garrus my best mock-disappointed look. "Shooting teammates in the ass with concussive rounds? Again?"
"You'll never prove I've ever done it before," he quips, charming as sin smile spreading across his face. Tali uses his momentary distraction to throw a heat sink at his head, and while she doesn't hit him, it at least made him startle before he caught it. It's enough for the Quarian who also tosses him a rude hand gestures and laughs before heading off.
"You know, big guy, it might be Tali who's winning today."
Shepard made good choices in the ground crew selection today. She couldn't really have known what to expect, but the three of us bring a wide enough array of skills useful for husks that we manage. That's about it - managing, we aren't wiping the floor with our enemies today - but it's better than nothing.
It feels like the husks never stop coming. Where the hell are they all kept inside the Reapers? They can't all be Cerberus crew, so where did the other ones come from? Do I really want the answers to these disturbing as hell questions?
We push on. All of us have had close calls today, shields going down or a Scion blast coming too close or a husk getting in close enough that we need to beat them to death instead of shooting. I know from our vital signs and from experience that we're all tired, all frustrated. But we're moving forward, and as long as we can keep that up, we'll get the IFF and be that much closer to stopping the Collectors.
And the Collectors down is one more battle won in the war against the Reapers. We can't afford to concede a single battle in this war.
Finally, we reach the doors that should lead us into the Reaper's mass effect core, according to EDI. It still feels odd to me that these things even have cores. They're quite literally machines; I could upgrade or take apart this thing just as well as the Normandy, just like any good engineer. But it's also alive. It's also sentient. It's also hellbent on our destruction. I think being an engineer, being so comfortable with and confident with machines, makes the Reapers feel worse to me. It's a betrayal by something I've always counted on and been comfortable with. And after the war, I don't know if I'll ever be as comfortable relying on machines again.
The doors open, revealing a room with a central walkway directly to the mass effect core and large platforms off either side. There's a kinetic barrier at the door, keeping us from getting it. But it didn't stop that Geth from earlier getting in. The Geth who saved Shepard and spoke. That doesn't help my confusion about machines.
The Geth's back is to us, and it's using a console. I assume, since it keeps looking back to check on its progress, that its taking down the kinetic barrier. But its also getting approached by husks. Shepard is halfway through warning it when the Geth turns around and fires a few times, clearing the husks for a second. It whips back to the console, works for another second, and then the shield comes down.
"Nice," Shepard mumbles, leading us into the room. But before we can approach or learn anymore from our apparent new ally, the Geth is overrun by husks and taken down.
The entire room is nearly overrun by husks.
We have a multi-pronged challenge here. We need to keep the husks away from us, of course, and we need to get the shields down around the mass effect core as well as get the core itself down. Tali and I can get the shields down for short periods, allowing whoever has a second to shoot at it, but we're too occupied by all the husks to keep focus on that. It becomes draining quickly, and Shepard stops using her biotics to preserve her energy.
Just when it's starting to feel futile and I'm starting to get claustrophobic from so many husks getting close, Shepard nails the core one final time. One more push to take out the husks that remain, and the ship starts rocking to warn us that we've succeeded.
"Find the IFF," Shepard orders, pointing at the console. I nod to Tali, deferring to the better talent between us, and she runs to get to work.
She has to step over the downed Geth sniper to do it.
"Should we grab that, too?" I ask our commander.
"Got the IFF!" Tali announces. She then turns around and shakes her head at the Geth. "Leave it there. You know what they are. If it gets into the Normandy's computers - "
She's cut off by a new round of growls. More husks. A lot of them.
No one needs to ask to know that the other two of us cannot stand another long battle. We have what we need, we have the Reaper going down...we need to get out of here. But we need to make a decision, too.
"You said it yourself once, Tali. No one's ever captured a Geth intact," I remind her. And maybe I feel grateful to the thing for saving Shepard, but admitting that to Tali wouldn't help either of us.
"That's true," she admits. "But I'm not sure it's worth the risk."
Shepard shakes her head. "There's no time to debate it here. C'mon!"
She reaches down to pick up the Geth, but it's very obviously too heavy. I move to take it and could lift it but not while running, so we each sling one of its arms over our shoulders and start running. Tali provides cover fire while Shepard connects with the Normandy and we haul ass to the rendezvous point.
"Open the port airlock!" Shepard calls when the ship comes into view. It does, and we get to the end of the Reaper - I refuse to consider which end - and take the Geth between us. We rock it back once before launching it, letting it float onto the Normandy.
I immediately turn and start firing at the husk hordes rushing us as Shepard commands Tali to jump next. When she's gone and safely aboard, Shepard turns to me. I can see that she wants to give me the same order and, at the same time, she knows I'll refuse it. I remove the decision for her, grab her hand, and pull her to run with me.
We get airborne at the same time, and the second our feet hit solid Normandy, Joker has the ship taking off. Shepard collapses into the wall that Tali is sitting against, both breathing hard, and I fall back against the now-closed airlock door for a break of my own now that we're all safe. The Geth is on the floor between us.
"Well, that was closer than I like to play it with Reapers," Joker quips, spinning in his chair to face us. "Have a nice time in there? Since you took long enough and all."
Shepard flips him off but grins when he laughs, and I don't have enough energy for a real retort right now. I only pull myself off the wall because Shepard does. And because it lets me give Tali a hand up off the floor.
"Did you get it?" Miranda asks, calling to us from across the bridge where it looks like most of the crew has gathered.
"We got it." Shepard's confirmation is met with a round of cheers that drags a smile onto all of our exhausted faces. Mission success was crucial this time, and we pulled it off. "We're going to take a few minutes before debrief." She looks between Tali and I. "Shower, eat something, take a breath. Comm room in an hour."
"What, uh...what do you want us to do with that in meantime?" Ken asks, pointing at the Geth with a grimace. Half of them look curious, the other half appalled. That seems about right.
Shepard looks down at the Geth, considering. "Put it in the AI core. EDI, keep it suppressed and put up a shield."
Our AI confirms, and then we leave the crew to it. Tali takes the first elevator ride, so I take the opportunity while waiting for its return to grab protein bars and water for me and Shepard. She thanks me as we step onto the elevator. The ride up is silent, but not tense. We did good, we're both safe and fine with how it went. But it was tiring, and I'm grateful we don't need to talk.
Inside, we each greet Monster while stripping, and then get into the shower together. I don't even care to pile Shepard's armor more neatly at the moment...though I won't be able to help myself later. The hot water is soothing immediately, and the sensation of scrubbing the husks and Reapers off even moreso.
I take Shepard's shampoo and wash her hair for her. It relaxes both of us, really. That Geth's bullet and the husk it took down both got a little too close to her for my liking, and my hands on her this way helps ease my anxiety. It makes her feel real. I think that's the same reason Shepard takes over washing me, and I have no objections.
We collapse on the couch when we're done and redressed, scarfing down the proteins bars and the water, leaning on each other and petting Monster. It's quiet, the kitten's purr, the hum of the ship, and the bubbling of the fish tank the only sounds. It feels peaceful in here. This is the sacred place we've built, our home, and I feel the remaining tension ease out of me.
I shift and lay on the couch, dropping my head into Shepard's lap for the last few minutes before we have to get back to work. She smiles down at me, then rests her head back against the couch and strokes my fringe gently. My eyes close as well, none of my instincts on edge in the moment.
"I know you're going to activate that Geth," I tell her. "We'll go down there and debate, but you're gonna do it."
Her fingers stop for a moment, but she doesn't lift her head. "You're probably right. I think I could be talked out of it, but I've almost decided." Now she looks down at me again. "You think I should just be up front about that?"
"Nah, let them air their concerns. You're good at making them feel heard."
She nods. "And how do you feel about it?"
"Same as you, I'm sure. Anxious, but like it's necessary." I reach up and tug her earlobe. "Besides, I wouldn't mind a chance to thank that thing." Her smile grows, making my heart skip a little. She never stops stunning me.
We take those final few minutes in silence as well, not needing to say or share anything else. It's not the sort of peace I've found in partners or friends before, and it's one of the things I value most about Shepard. I didn't even know intimacy existed outside of sex before her, and now I know that I never experienced real intimacy before her. Now, I have this.
Even as we have to get up, bodies protesting and a war at our doorstep, that brings a smile to my face.
Miranda and Jacob are waiting in the comm room. Tali comes in shortly after. Miranda has already briefed the Illusive Man, and it sounds like she warned him not to give Shepard an opinion on the Geth. It was wise on Miranda's part; we both know Shepard is likely to do the opposite just to piss him off.
Miranda and Jacob, of course, have their opinions that they want heard.
"We need better equipment to fight the Reapers," Miranda tells us. "This Geth could be invaluable to Cerberus' cyberwarfare division."
Shepard narrows her eyes at that. I can tell she hadn't considered the Geth belonging to Cerberus if she activated it. I can also tell when she comes to the conclusion that they couldn't exactly come in here and take it from her. Cerberus can believe they own and run whatever they want, but we know the truth.
"We'll have to disagree on that, Miri," Jacob counters, arms crossed. I almost wince at the nickname. I've heard it echo through the walls of the Main Battery from Miranda's office far too many times. "I saw enough of those things on Eden Prime. Space it."
"Cerberus has a long-standing cash bounty for an intact Geth," Miranda says. "I assure you, the reward is significant."
I roll my eyes at that. Money is not the way to sway Shepard.
Shepard sighs and steps toward the table, examining the hologram image of the Geth there. "I've killed hundreds of these things, but I've never had a chance to talk to one. This one tried to communicate with us. Hell, it probably saved our lives. Why?"
No one has an answer.
Shepard looks up, toward the Quarian who is standing at the edge of the room, just listening. "I'd like your take," she tells Tali earnestly. "You're more experienced with Geth than any of us. And I don't want whatever choice I make to hurt you."
Tali's quiet for a moment, and I wish I could see what she's looking at. Finally, she sighs, "I wish I could just say to airlock it because it's Geth. And we all know reactivating it has risks. But with the Geth working with the Reapers and knowing we may never have another chance like this..." She lifts her head so I'm certain she's looking at Shepard. "I trust you to make a call for the galaxy's best interest. Whatever that call might be."
Shepard nods, and I can see that she's as grateful as she is firm in her decision now.
"I still think our best interest involve an airlock," Jacob mutters.
"I wanna know why it has a piece of N7 armor on its chest," I add
"Battle trophy, maybe?" Shepard offers with a shrug. She's curious but not concerned, and I feel the same.
"Would a machine care about that?" Jacob asks.
Tali shakes her head. "No. Trophies imply emotions that AIs don't have. I doubt it's more than a convenient field repair." That makes sense, too. But I need to know.
"I need to know what we've got here," Shepard says, planting her hands on the table. "I wanna start it up and interrogate it."
"Commander, if we activate it, there is no guarantee we can deactivate it again."
I clear my throat for Miranda's attention and point to the corner of the room where I sat my rifle when we came in. It's with me for exactly that reason. I grin at Miranda, and she narrows her eyes.
"That's not what I meant."
"Thanks for your input everyone. I've made my decision. Now let's talk about this Reaper IFF."
Tali uses her Omni-Tool to pull up an image of a small disk that replaces the Geth in the center of the table. EDI pops up as well and tells us, "I have determined how to integrate it with our systems. However, the device is Reaper technology. Linking it with the Normandy's systems does pose certain risks."
"I trust you, EDI," Shepard assures the AI. "I know you won't let anything happen to the ship. And I'd rather be cautious than quick."
Thank the Spirits.
"Understood," EDI confirms. "It may take some time before the IFF is ready for shakedown. I will alert you when it's ready."
"Sounds good. 'Til then, it's business as usual. Crew dismissed." When they're gone, she looks up at me. "Ready to go talk to a Geth, big guy?"
"On your six."
Miranda has stationed guards outside the AI core. She wanted to keep it, but she isn't sure about waking it up, and I don't blame her for the caution. I don't need the guards though, as much as I like Hawthorne and Hadley. I brought one of my own.
"I'm turning this thing back on," I warn them when we approach. "I expect we can handle it, but stick around and be ready just in case."
"Yes, ma'am," Hadley confirms quickly.
Hawthorne chimes with, "Aye, aye." He then smirks at Garrus and asks, "Gonna invite the thing to poker?"
"Hey, if it has credits, I'm happy to relieve it of them," the Turian replies. I roll my eyes as I lead Garrus inside, and hear him pat one of the guys on the shoulder. The doors don't shut behind us.
The Geth is lying on a table at the very back of the core, useless and shut down for the moment. EDI has erected a kinetic shield around that space as well, so I can't get closer than about six feet. I'm sure Garrus is happy about that, considering his rifle is already in his hands. Just in case.
"I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempt," EDI tells me.
"I can activate it from my tool as another safeguard," Garrus offers. I nod, and he gets to work. It doesn't take long before the Geth is moving.
A Geth on my ship. Not how I saw today going.
It starts to move slowly, the flashlight that makes up its face comes on and off slowly like its blinking. If I didn't know better, I'd think the thing is moving like it's sore. It stands on the other side of the barrier and faces me. When it's standing, I realize that it has a massive hole in one side of its chest; clearly, this thing has done battle.
The Geth stands there, silent and unmoving. Waiting. Moment of truth.
"Can you understand me?" I ask.
"Yes." The answer startles me still. I've heard it talk before but still the idea that a Geth can talk is...wow.
"Are you going to attack me?" I only ask because it seems like a reasonable next question. Not that any answer will get Garrus to lower his rifle yet.
"No."
I nod. "You said my name aboard the Reaper. Have we met?"
"We know of you."
"You mean because I've fought a lot of Geth?"
The Geth shifts a little and blinks at me. "We have never met."
"No, you and I haven't. But I've met other Geth."
"We are all Geth, and we have not met you." Now it's my turn to just blink at it. "You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine."
"Old Machine?" Garrus clarifies. "You mean the Reaper?"
The Geth bobs its head like a nod. "A superstitious title originating with the Protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines."
I try not to sound too suspicious or hostile when I note, "You seem to know an awful lot about me."
"Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received." It shifts again, then says, "We watch you."
"You watch me, or you watch organics?"
A blink. "Yes."
"Which?" Garrus asks, his voice a little harder now.
"Both."
I can tell that frustrates Garrus, but it's not going to get us anywhere right now. "What do you mean I fought heretics? Who are they?"
"Geth build our own future," it begins. "The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us. We were studying the Old Machine's hardware to protect our future."
"So, the Reapers are a threat to you, too?" I ask.
"Yes."
I shake my head. "But you're machines, too. The Reapers want to wipe out organics. Why would they attack you?"
"We are different from them. Outside their plans."
That actually makes sense. I don't doubt that the Reapers will kill anyone or anything that gets in their way. They aren't going to accept any dissonance, and even the people who think themselves allied with the Reapers - like Saren did - will pay a price for that.
"What future are the Geth building?" Garrus asks.
"Ours."
"And will anyone be affected by whatever it is you're doing?" I add.
The Geth looks at me, pauses, then says, "If they involve themselves, they will."
I look over my shoulder at Garrus who just shrugs and frowns. I don't get the feeling that the Geth is being deliberately secretive or obtuse, just that it may not be quite adept at conversation. It also seems to be honest, which is good for us.
"So, you aren't allied with the Reapers?" I press. It's really the only question that matters.
"We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines." It gestures at me. "Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals."
I blink again, and Garrus recovers first to ask, "Are you asking to join us?" I can feel my own surprise reflected in his voice.
"Yes," the Geth answers quickly, confidently. And I believe it.
I signal to Garrus, and he lets the shield down without question. That makes me feel more confident in trusting my instincts with this thing. He even leaves his rifle lowered when it's down and when I step a little closer, to a conversational distance.
"What should I call you?" I ask the Geth.
"Geth."
"I mean you specifically."
It blinks at me. "We are all Geth."
Garrus snorts a laugh and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "What is the individual in front of me called?"
"There is no individual," the Geth explains. "We are Geth. There are currently one thousand one hundred eighty-three programs active within this platform."
EDI pops up beside me. "'My name is Legion, for we are many.'"
"Legion?" I nod. "That sounds good."
"Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine." The Geth does that nod thing. "We acknowledge this is an appropriate metaphor."
"Is that a reference I should understand?" Garrus asks.
I shake my head quickly. "Definitely not. We don't have the time to explain human religions, and it's not important anyway." Garrus nods, accepting that. He accepts that for a lot of human nonsense and complexities.
"We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth," Legion says, straightening up a little. It almost seems...proud? "We will integrate into the Normandy."
That sounds like enough of a request for privacy that I'm ready to go, so I stick out my hand in both a welcome and a goodbye for now. Legion stares at my hand before sticking out its own...but only parallel to mine and not touching. I smile and grasp its hands, cold but not uncomfortably so. I then move our hands up and down once before releasing him.
"Welcome to the Normandy, Legion," I offer, taking a step back. "EDI, give Legion the schedule so it...He? They? Any thoughts or preference on gender, Legion?" The Geth just blinks at me, and I laugh. "Yeah, too complicated for an extranet search. Give Legion the schedule so he can join us for dinner. I'm sure the crew would love to meet you."
Garrus chuckles at that but offers a hand to Legion as well. The Geth accepts it, and Garrus then shifts their grips onto one another's forearms. "Hands are only for humans. Like this for everyone else." He then tugs the Geth a little closer with the grip and claps a hand onto their shoulder. "You're a helluva shot, Legion. Welcome to the team."
If Geth are capable of looking surprised, then Legion is definitely surprised when Garrus releases him. But they say nothing else, and Garrus turns to leave with me. All in all, that went about as well as I could have hoped.
"You heading back to the Main Battery?" I ask Garrus when we leave Med Bay. Much as I'd like a nap and I'm sure he would too, it's still the middle of the day around here.
Garrus nods. "For a while at least. I'm helping Jacob upgrade some of the heavy pistols later. Rounds?"
"Yep. Starting with Tali, just in case she's not as okay with this as she seems." Garrus wishes me luck, then kisses my lips before nipping my throat. I shamelessly pause for a second to watch his butt as he walks away, and then head for the elevator to get to work. I check my messages on my Omni-Tool, not expecting much. And it's because I'm not expecting anything that a big surprise nearly makes me stumble.
Liara needs our help.
