First of all, my sincerest apologies for the delay in getting this chapter up! The last month has been a whirlwind with work, moving flats and some person commitments. Thank you for your patience, kind readers x
WARNINGS: Yes, I need to put up some warnings this time. This chapter is a bit dark, and contains themes of child abuse/children murdered by their parents and PTSD as a result. Please don't read this chapter if it's going to upset you.
…
Trauma
Toshiro could remember his human life.
Isshin was almost certain of it.
It took him years to come to that conclusion though, and admittedly, Toshiro was a good liar when he had the motivation to be (damn prodigy), but there was one thing the boy hadn't mastered, and that was his own trauma.
Especially now, as Isshin sat on the edge of Toshiro's bed at Shiba Manor, a hand on the sleeping child's calf, barely resisting the urge to slip under the covers with him and hold him close.
Toshiro had fallen asleep about an hour ago, after crying and hyperventilating himself to the point of exhaustion in what was an incredibly severe panic attack.
"My boy…" Isshin murmured quietly, stroking the covered calf gently. Toshiro didn't stir.
It was hard, as a (self-appointed) parent, to see his child suffering and not be able to do anything.
All he had been able to do when he found the boy in Mari's arms, shaking and burying himself in her kimono – despite the fact he couldn't breathe – was watch. They were sitting in the reading chair by the window in Toshiro's Shiba Manor bedroom, and the boy had flinched away when Isshin had tried to rub his back, only becoming more distressed until the captain backed off. Mari had held him, and Toshiro refused to move out of her arms.
Realistically, Isshin would have no trouble plucking the boy from Mari's arms and holding him himself, and a younger him might have, but something had told him not to do that now, even though it hurt him beyond belief to watch more than anything else. Something told him to be patient, and let Toshiro come back to him.
Trauma was a delicate thing.
All Isshin could do was reach out with his Spiritual Pressure, letting his kid know he was right there when he wanted to come back.
Eventually, hours later, Toshiro had fallen asleep out of exhaustion and it was only then that Isshin was able to pick him up and place him in his bed.
Mari sat in the reading chair still, worry prominent in her eyes, itching to get closer. Rangiku was out in the hall, speaking into her Soul Phone quietly, getting an update on the situation.
Kukaku and Ganju mulled around downstairs, worrying but staying away to give the boy some breathing space.
Isshin had suspected Toshiro knew more about his human life than he let on for a while now, but things had come to a head today.
The captain's suspicions actually started when Rangiku brought it up with him, and that had been within Toshiro's first year in the squad.She had thought Toshiro had slipped up, revealing his human birthday and implying a certain level of memories from his time alive, though he had quickly covered it up with a story about Hyorinmaru picking the date. When she first said something to the captain, Isshin hadn't really given the opinion much credit.
"Rangiku," Isshin rolled his eyes. "If the kid can't remember his own name, I doubt he can remember his birthday."
"Maybe he does remember his name," Rangiku suggested lowly. "Maybe he remembers more than we think."
He had seen utter seriousness in her eyes then, and he knew Rangiku was excellent at reading Souls. Still it was all conjecture, and he had told her to leave the topic alone. Souls that did remember their human lives often struggled with it, regardless of whether the life had been good or not, it was often too painful to relive.
They had left the conversation at that, and surprisingly, Rangiku had never brought it back up in all the years that had passed. Isshin didn't dwell on it either, figuring Toshiro would come to them when he wanted, if the theory was even true. The captain hadn't been all that convinced it was, even with Rangiku's seriousness, so it wasn't until Toshiro slipped up with him years later that the captain even gave it a second thought.
The boy got stung by a Japanese Giant Hornet in the garden behind Isshin and Rangiku's quarters and his reaction was… intense.
At first Isshin thought it was because Toshiro had never been stung by a hornet before and was just scared. They were huge insects with giant stingers; it was enough to get even the bravest Soul Reapers avoiding them at all costs. Their stings were incredibly painful, more so than a bee, and it was common knowledge that their venom was potent, though it wouldn't take down a Soul Reaper.
"It's okay," Isshin tried to soothe an almost hyperventilating Toshiro, lifting the boy up and onto his kitchen counter. Outside, the hornets' nest burned thanks to Engetsu.
"I'm allergic!" Toshiro all but shrieked, one hand gripping Isshin's haori and the other around his own throat. "I can't breathe."
Tears, fear and desperation were in his eyes. The captain shushed him gently, one hand patting his back softly, and the other reaching for the boy's foot and bringing it up so he could inspect the sting just above his ankle.
"Soul Reapers don't have allergies," Isshin informed him, tone even and calm and trying to exude that onto the terrified child. His hand lit up with healing kido and Toshiro stared, suddenly still.
The angry red sting turned pale and disappeared into the skin as Toshiro watched wordlessly, the hand around his throat dropping away slowly, seemingly realising he could, in fact, breathe.
"See?" Isshin hummed when the kido light faded. "All gone."
The boy released a shuddering breath as he felt over the clear spot on his ankle, eyes wide with disbelief.
It wasn't until later that night that Isshin remembered the comment Toshiro had made about being allergic, and how that had been a strange claim for the boy to make. Most Soul Reapers hadn't even heard of allergies before, unless they had spent a lot of time in the Living World, which Toshiro hadn't really, or if they happened to remember their human lives.
The only logical explanation that Isshin could think of was that the boy was remembering an allergic reaction he'd had as a human, hence the fear and panic.
It was then that the little things had started to add up; the way Toshiro hadn't been surprised by anything in the Living World when Isshin had taken him his first time, the fact he could swim, the way he had picked up Chess and any other games Isshin brought home from the Living World, like he already knew how to play.
Isshin had put it down to him being a prodigy, but maybe he just remembered everything, or at least some things, he had experienced as a human?
Again, Isshin had let the thought go. It wasn't that he didn't believe it, in fact it was because he was starting to believe it that he had to let it go. Pushing Toshiro on this could only end in disaster, so he had pushed the thought away. It was reachable, for when he needed it, but far enough way that he wouldn't dwell on it.
Things escalated a few more years down the track, recently to now, when Isshin found Toshiro having a severe nightmare on his couch. The boy had woken up so terrified he had almost frozen off the captain's hand by accident, and had let slip more details than he cared to share.
"It was r-real," Toshiro's shaking voice still haunted Isshin. "He st-stabbed me, again and again."
Isshin had asked who had stabbed him in the dream, but the boy had never answered. He shut down quickly, and refused to talk more about it.
The hornet, the nightmare – Isshin had to believe they were both related. Linked to past trauma, Toshiro had been in a moment of panic and fear when he had let slip those details, his mind not totally present in the moment.
Isshin would have come to the conclusion that the boy had died from a hornet's sting – if it hadn't been for the contents of the nightmare.
"St-stabbed," the boy had gasped when he woke, clutching his side like he had been wounded.
Isshin didn't sleep that night (or early morning as it had been by the time he had got home and found the boy). Toshiro had fallen back asleep, tucked into the captain's side, but Isshin had laid there wide awake, his thoughts racing.
It was at some point in the morning, when Isshin could hear his squad members heading to the canteen for breakfast, that Isshin had the thought that maybe Toshiro's dream was linked to a memory in his human life, since he seemed to remember more than he let on. It was a second after that when Isshin wondered if that's how the boy had died.
His heart had plummeted at the thought. He sincerely hoped that wasn't the case, though whenever a child passed away it was always in tragic circumstances. The best hope was that it was a quick death, a painless accident.
Unfortunately, Isshin was not ignorant to the human evils in the Living World – that's why they had Hell. There were evils in the Soul Society too, because nowhere was truly free of it.
He also remembered the scared little boy from Hitsugaya that sat up in Isshin's father's study just after protecting Mari from an intruder. The way Toshiro, who hadn't had that name at the time, had looked at Isshin when the captain entered the room was with a look of pure fear, and immediately his eyes had dropped to Isshin's Zanpakuto, expecting the worst.
The captain flinched slightly then, realising what Toshiro must have thought was going to happen to him that evening. He looked down into the face of the sleeping boy, unable to ever imagine hurting him.
What child ever assumed he was going to be stabbed as a punishment?
"That was Takeo," Rangiku sighed, speaking quietly as she slipped back into the room, Soul Phone still in her hand. "They've handed over to Captain Soifon."
Isshin nodded, that was probably for the best. He wanted to be involved – to ensure justice was served and maybe a little more – but he was too close to it now, and in fact they all were. Besides, no one was harsher than Soifon.
"That's just awful what that man did," Mari sighed sadly as Rangiku nodded in agreement, coming to sit beside Isshin on the bed.
'That man' was why they were all where they were now.
Squad Ten had received a distress call from a resident in one of their Rukongai jurisdictions – Hitsugaya, funnily enough – the man who called claimed his family were under attack by a Hollow. Isshin had sent the closest patrolling officer to be the first responder and had sent Toshiro and Takeo to catch up with the officer, assisting if needed.
It was rare they got a call directly from the residents, and it was especially strange that the hollow was not appearing on their Soul Phone radars.
However Isshin hadn't been concerned, not until Takeo had called.
"Captain, I think you need to come to Hitsugaya."
"The place or the kid?" Isshin had chuckled, not picking up on his fourth seat's cautious tone until after he had replied.
He registered hearing Toshiro's voice in the background, louder and angrier than he thought the usually sweet, albeit sarcastic, boy was really capable of.
"Both," Takeo answered. "We have a situation."
The fourth seat had been reluctant to give any further details over the phone, so Isshin had nothing but anxiety as he and Rangiku travelled promptly to the Western-most district. What they found was way worse than anything they could have imagined;
Two girls, younger than Toshiro, dead with wounds inconsistent with what a Hollow was capable of. The father, who turned out to be the man who had made the call, pinned to the wall by too-tight restraints made of ice.
It didn't take a genius to put together what had happened in that cottage that afternoon, and why the man had claimed a Hollow was attacking. He was trying to cover his own actions.
Hyorinmaru's fury was almost suffocating in the small cottage, despite the fact the wielder was gone.
"Gone where?" Isshin asked Takeo, watching the man in the restraints struggling – he could barely breathe as Hyorinmaru choked him.
The unseated officer – the first responder – tried half-heartedly to break the ice but Isshin knew the soldier was never going to be able to break that ice, not even if he actually wanted to. Isshin doubted even Haineko would get through that now; it would take a captain to do it
"I don't know," Takeo grimaced. "He just… lost it. He blew up and left, he was quite distraught."
Isshin felt his worries spike.
"We'll sort this," Rangiku told the captain immediately. "Go find him."
Isshin nodded and quickly brought down his hot blade over the ice, releasing the man who Rangiku quickly restrained with kido. He then flash stepped away with a hard swallow, off in search of his 'distraught' third seat.
Call it paternal intuition but the captain knew the moment he set off where he was going. He knew where Toshiro would have gone instinctively; home to the one person he had never been afraid of.
Isshin had burst into Shiba Manor and run up to Toshiro's bedroom to find the kid in his grandmother's lap in the reading chair, gasping and sobbing. Kukaku and Ganju stood uselessly in the room, unsure how to help.
The captain had never seen anything like it, but he still knew only trauma could cause that.
It was all too easy to connect the dots. It was all too easy to realise why Toshiro had been triggered by that scene in the little cottage in Hitsugaya.
Now Isshin, Rangiku and Mari continued watching the boy sleep, his chest rising and falling with much calmer breathing now, unable to do anything. Eventually Mari sighed and stood up from the reading chair.
"It's getting late," she murmured, gesturing to the window outside which the sun was setting. "I better get started on dinner."
Isshin had forgotten it was Thursday, or family dinner night, but nodded as Mari stood from her chair.
She walked from across the room, but paused at the bed to glance down at Toshiro with a sad smile. She reached out to squeeze Isshin's shoulder, and pressed a small kiss into his dark hair.
"Kids are resilient," she murmured softly to him. "Toshiro will be okay, because he has all of us to love him."
"Thanks," Isshin sighed, not taking his eyes off the boy in the bed.
Toshiro would be okay, because Isshin wasn't going to have it any other way.
He felt Mari move away then, and heard the bedroom door closing behind her with a gentle click.
There was silence in the room, only broken by the gentle tinkle of a light breeze coming through the window and knocking the icicles together on the wind chime Toshiro had made for his Shiba Manor bedroom.
"Are you thinking what I am thinking?" Isshin asked Rangiku eventually, voice quiet.
He didn't want to say it out loud, but Rangiku managed it.
"Toshiro was killed by his human father," she answered, voice strained.
Isshin nodded, feeling his throat tighten.
"And he remembers it," he murmured thickly.
Rangiku exhaled and nodded her agreement.
"I couldn't imagine remembering something like that," she swallowed.
Isshin kept his eyes on the sleeping boy's face and tried to comprehend how anyone could hurt the kid that was so pure of heart. The captain had been born in the Soul Society, never living a human life first, but even factoring in reincarnation, he couldn't imagine remembering something like that. He couldn't imagine having a father like that. His dad had been strict, never shy to give a disciplinary smack around the back of the legs, but he'd never hurt them.
"I don't know what to do," Isshin admitted. "How can I help him?"
Rangiku was silent, seeming just as lost as Isshin.
They couldn't make Toshiro forget, they couldn't ask him to move past it. There weren't services in the Soul Society to help with things like trauma. If a soldier didn't have a life-threatening physical injury, then they couldn't be helped.
"All we can do is love him," Rangiku offered at last, "and look after him like he deserves to be."
Well that Isshin had no problem with that.
"I'll keep him here tomorrow and over the weekend," Isshin murmured. "See how he goes before I let him return to work on Monday."
"It will be good for him to be with his family for a few days," Rangiku nudged Isshin and he heard a smile in her voice.
Isshin swallowed and nodded, agreeing.
He stood up from the bed then before reaching over Toshiro and pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. Automatically, his hand slipped into Toshiro's hair, as he always did to soothe the kid. Fast asleep, the boy didn't appear to feel it.
Isshin had to steel himself to step away. He hated doing it, but he felt that Toshiro would need some space to collect himself when he eventually woke.
"We should let him sleep," he murmured. Saying it out loud meant he had to follow through.
Rangiku slipped around Isshin's back and placed Toshiro's dragon plushie in the bed beside him.
"I'll go get him a glass of water," she murmured, straightening back up. "He likes to have water to drink when he wakes up."
Sighing and nodding, Isshin pulled himself away from the boy. He got as far as the door before he had to stop and look back at his kid.
Toshiro was just a boy, asleep in his bed, next to a dragon plushie. He was a picture of innocence, the most kind hearted Soul Isshin had ever known.
The captain's heart ached, and his eyes clenched as he finally turned away from the door. He opened them walking down the hall, and exhaled deeply.
How could anyone ever hurt Toshiro?
…
Minutes passed like hours, time dragging to no end.
The mood was low in the manor that evening, few words were said. It was unlike them, being the Shiba Clan was known for its loud, boisterous nature. Tonight, they couldn't muster it. Not even Ganju, and that was saying something.
Rangiku stayed for dinner, though she often did on their regular Thursday family nights, as would Toshiro. Still, Isshin knew the main reason for her staying was because she didn't want to leave their little third seat any more than Isshin did.
She looked ashen across the table from him, and of course they all did, their eyes cast over as they zoned out, their food lying hardly touched in front of them. If they were feeling like Isshin, then horrible feelings were swirling around their guts; pity, sadness, fury… perhaps even guilt.
Doubt was in Isshin's mind too, over whether he'd made the right decision not to address the situation with Toshiro earlier. After all, he had known. Well, he hadn't known it was a parent that had done the deed, but Isshin had known that someone had, and that Toshiro remembered it. Would it have been better to try and get Toshiro to open up earlier? Or would have that ended in exactly the same amount of tears and fear as tonight? He didn't know, and he'd never know what the right call to make would have been. The fact was this was the situation now, and the captain had to pull it together for his beautiful kid.
Isshin couldn't help but think that if Kaien had been there that night, he would have cheered the family up – he would have cheered Toshiro up. He'd had that kind of influence on people, picking them up at even their lowest points.
"I guess we should clean up," Mari murmured, breaking the tense silence. They had only picked at their dinners, but it was clear they weren't going to get much more down.
Isshin nodded and moved to help his mother take plates into the kitchen. Even Kukaku, Ganju and Rangiku helped, and that was almost unheard of.
They had almost cleared the table when a small voice sounded from the dining room entry.
"Dad?"
Isshin glanced up from where he was collecting the condiments. Toshiro was standing under the wide threshold, holding onto the frame with small hands, his eyes cautious.
"I'm sorry," he said, voice fearful.
"You have nothing to apologise for," Isshin returned quickly, voice soft but firm. Toshiro had to understand he hadn't done anything wrong, not now, not then-
"The father did it," he told Isshin, turning the conversation quickly. "He killed those girls."
Isshin could hear the shake in his voice, though he had clearly attempted to be confident. It was obviously important to him that Isshin knew the truth of what happened today.
The captain nodded to assure the boy, "I know. Captain Soifon is handling it."
He had to keep his voice calm, he had to wait for Toshiro to come to him.
The boy looked away, down at his feet. He was processing. Gently, Isshin put the condiments back down on the table and stepped around it so nothing was between him and the third seat. Around him, his family had paused what they were doing. They followed Isshin, and kept their distance. No doubt Rangiku and Mari were desperate to get closer, just as Isshin was, but they had to stay back.
It was a delicate situation, and Isshin had no intention of having Toshiro flinch under his touch ever again.
"What did they do?" Toshiro asked timidly. His eyes glanced up at Isshin before immediately dropping his gaze back to his feet.
"Who?"
"The girls."
"What did the girls do?" Isshin frowned, echoing the question back, not understanding.
"To make their father so mad?" Toshiro asked, speaking more to the floor than anyone else. "To make him do that?"
The penny dropped, and so did Isshin's heart.
"Nothing," he breathed. "There's nothing they could have done to deserve that."
"Why did he do it then?" Toshiro asked, voice barely above a whisper, the floor still more interesting than Isshin's face.
"I don't know."
He didn't know. He hoped Soifon would get an answer out of the murderer, but even if she did, it would never make sense. Isshin couldn't comprehend a world in which that could ever make sense, in which any answer could be justified.
Finally, teal orbs met Isshin's. The captain couldn't stand the distance anymore, but he wouldn't spook Toshiro again, so he simply opened his arms and hoped for the best.
It seemed he did not have to hope, for the moment his arms opened, Toshiro appeared there. He hadn't flash stepped, but he'd moved damn fast, throwing himself against Isshin's middle and hugging his waist as tight as those little arms could muster. The captain exhaled in relief, feeling a weight lift off his chest as his own arms came around the boy's shoulders. He hugged the boy back, trying to find a balance between gentle and firm.
After a moment, Toshiro pulled back, his head tilted back to look up at Isshin. His arms lifted and Isshin knew instantly what he wanted. It was gesture he had never seen from the boy before, but he knew what it meant. Immediately, Isshin reached down and lifted the boy up to his chest. One arm went under his thighs to support his weight and the other wrapped around his back, holding him close.
Toshiro's arms wound around Isshin's neck, and he tucked his head under the captain's chin. Isshin heard him release a deep breath, like he was just as relieved to be held as much as Isshin was relieved to hold him.
"I lied to you," he murmured after a moment, swallowing as he spoke. He sounded so scared. "I lied to Matsumoto. I do know my name."
Over Toshiro's shoulder, Isshin spotted Rangiku grimace. He wondered if she was replaying the moment they met in her head, perhaps wondering if she should have had reason to doubt the lie.
"I know your name too," Isshin whispered to the boy, and immediately Toshiro pulled away from him, those teal eyes horrified. The captain shook his head quickly, and patted the kid's back. "It's Toshiro. I gave it to you."
Toshiro's expression was unsure, but also less fearful. That's all Isshin wanted.
If Toshiro wanted to tell him his human name, Isshin was happy to hear it, but he didn't want the boy to be scared of saying it.
After a moment, the boy nodded, seemingly to himself more than anything. He sighed, and tucked himself back against Isshin's chest.
For a minute, it was silent. No one moved, or said anything. Isshin waited for Toshiro, either to get anything else off his chest or to change the topic to move past it, and the captain assumed his family was waiting for the same. They only wanted him to speak about it if he wanted to.
"I'd heard most Souls forgot their past life when they arrived in the Soul Society," he explained quietly after a moment. "I hoped I would forget too. I'd hoped that by not acknowledging any part of it, including my name, would make it easier… but it never went away. I always wondered what I did to make him so mad."
His earlier question made so much sense, it hurt. Isshin squeezed the boy and buried his nose in Toshiro's snowy hair.
"It wasn't your fault," he muttered. "You didn't deserve that."
Gods, Isshin felt so much anger stirring in him. He wanted to hurt the man that had hurt this innocent boy, he wanted to see fear in the eyes of a man that had harmed his child.
Toshiro's arms around Isshin's neck tightened slightly and he turned his face to bury it against the captain's throat. He hummed.
"I'm glad I'm here with you, Captain," Toshiro murmured against Isshin, his voice more strained than before. He was close to crying again. "I finally have a dad who loves me."
Isshin's heart clenched and tears filled his own eyes before he could stop them. He pressed a soft kiss into Toshiro's hair, and shut his eyes.
"You do have a dad who loves you," he stated thickly. "One who would do anything for you."
Toshiro hummed, agreeing.
"Don't forget your big sister," Rangiku's voice was also tearful as she suddenly latched onto Toshiro's back, "who will always have your back, even if she annoys you most of the time."
Toshiro gave a small laugh, and Isshin felt him adjust himself in the hold to reach for Rangiku. The lieutenant's arm slipped between them as she hugged the boy from behind.
"And your granny," Mari added, and Isshin opened his eyes to see his mother rounding the kitchen bench as she hurried to join the hug, "who will always make sure you're overfed and over-cuddled."
The captain lifted his arm for her, letting her close to the boy.
"And a cool aunt," Kukaku's voice was cheeky, possibly the most upbeat of them, but Isshin was glad for it. Toshiro needed to hear a happy voice now. "I'll always let you light the fireworks, even when your dad says no."
Isshin shot her a disapproving look as she joined the hug, but he couldn't be too mad feeling Toshiro's smile against his neck.
"And an even cooler uncle," Ganju added gruffly, reaching over the group hug to reach for Toshiro's shoulder. "I'll even let you ride Bonnie-chan."
"That's not happening," Isshin cut in quickly as Toshiro's head slipped out from under his chin and those teal eyes lit up with excitement. No way was his kid going to ride that wild boar Ganju had the nerve to call a pet.
The group laughed and Toshiro settled back down against Isshin's chest with a small chuckle. For a moment everything felt better. Isshin held Toshiro against him and the rest of the family cuddled in close. The boy was surrounded with so much love, Isshin only hoped that it would be stronger than the trauma in Toshiro's mind.
"I love you all," Toshiro murmured after a while, "but I'm pretty hungry."
Again, the family laughed and Isshin felt a smile on his own features. Yeah, their love would be stronger.
"You're up, Granny," Isshin grinned at his mother who was already rushing back into the kitchen to put together a plate for the boy.
"I'm on it," she called back.
The hug disbanded as everyone returned to the table or to the kitchen to help. Isshin carried Toshiro over to his seat and sat them both down, the boy across his lap. Toshiro didn't seem to mind, apparently enjoying the closeness as much as Isshin was.
He was acting far more like his old self, engaging Ganju in a discussion about boar riding technique and cheekily winding Rangiku up about it, since she thought pigs were 'gross'.
Normality returned to Shiba Manor, but Isshin would never forget the fear and distress Toshiro displayed, and he made a silent promise to himself never to let it ever happen again.
…
"Move over, Kiddo,"
It was late, but Isshin had let Toshiro stay up past his bedtime since they weren't going into work tomorrow and, well… it was hard to say no to those hopeful teal eyes that just wanted to beat Rangiku in another game of Spinning Tops.
Still, even after his long sleep earlier, the boy was still clearly exhausted from his emotional day, and Isshin had to call time of death on his game night when the boy fell asleep face first onto his Top.
"I'm not tired," he argued, waking back up when Isshin had plucked him up off the floorboards.
"I've heard that before," the captain laughed, and sent the boy marching to the bathroom.
Finally, he had the kid back in his own bed and settling into the pillows with his dragon plushie. Isshin slipped in after him, carrying the ever popular 'Tales of Toshiro' book.
On read number one hundred and sixty-eight – as Toshiro pointed out – Isshin was happy to read the familiar text to the boy. He hoped it would send the boy into a warm and peaceful sleep, and hopefully the nightmares would be kept at bay. He'd already made Toshiro promise to come to his room if he woke up scared.
Opening the book, Isshin threw an arm over Toshiro and brought the boy close. The kid yawned, settling with his head on Isshin's chest as the captain began to read softly.
It was only a few minutes in that Isshin realised Toshiro had already fallen asleep against him, but the captain read on, not ready to pull himself away just yet.
Mari had told him that kids are resilient, and the captain knew Toshiro was – he was also incredibly strong – but Isshin wasn't prepared to take any chances. He was going to help Toshiro in any way possible – he would do his research, speak to Unohana, and if he had to take Toshiro to the Living World to use one of their more mental trauma-specific services, then he would.
He would do whatever it took to help his son recover.
"I'm okay, Captain," Toshiro murmured tiredly then, as if reading his mind and apparently not as asleep as first thought. "Today was a shock, but I'm okay."
Isshin sighed, not entirely believing it. He tightened his arm around the boy and pressed another kiss to his head.
"I just love you so much," Isshin told him. "I don't want you to be scared anymore."
"Less and less every day," Toshiro promised him, "because I have you. I love you too."
Isshin smiled at that. Maybe his kid was more resilient than he gave him credit for, and he always surprised Isshin with his strength.
But he was still going to help him in whatever way he could.
"Good night, Son," Isshin murmured back, and he closed the book, reaching for the lamp and flicking off the light.
He made no effort to move from the bed just yet, deciding that a few more minutes of cuddles couldn't hurt either of them.
"Goodnight," Toshiro's smiling voice was quiet in the dark, "Dad."
…
o.O
Anyway there's some heavy angst for you.
I'm going to slow down posting on Afterfamily and not going to commit myself to any schedule. I still have plenty of chapters I want to write eventually, so I won't be marking it as complete just yet. I've also got a number of other fics in progress that I'm really excited about, so I want to dedicate some time to them and not feel burdened by the fortnightly AF schedule. Hope you lovely readers will understand!
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Thanks All x
