Author's Notes:

PAIRINGS: Leorio/Kurapika (Leopika). Hisoka/Kurapika (Hisopika). Leorio/Cheadle.

RATING: Mature.

SPOILERS? Yes, until chapter 390 of the Hunter x Hunter manga by Yoshihiro Togashi. You may want to click off until you've caught up with the Succession War Arc, or have decided that you don't care. I do attempt to explain the context for the uninitiated.


Chapter 32: Theory of sustainable expenditure

Izunavi trains Leorio using his own pet theory of sustainable expenditure, which is most suitably adapted to Emission abilities like his own.

"I coined the name of the theory, and you have the honor of serving as my first ever lab rat," Izunavi tells him.

Leorio may be the lab rat to Izunavi's experimental teaching techniques, but he can certainly feel himself getting stronger, gaining confidence as his punches progress from scattered sparks to more substantial spheres of power.

Leorio also learns to extend his range. From the entrance to the medical ward, he can remotely summon a portal on the floor of Izunavi's room in the central hospital — a trick that he frequently utilizes to beckon his new teacher to join him for smoke breaks. Of course, Leorio's intimate familiarity with the geographical layout of the ward serves as a crucial factor in his favor.

One morning, after a particularly invigorating training session, Leorio and Izunavi traipse back to the front counter of the ward to see a bunny-eared woman sitting next to Gel.

"Hey there, Pyon," Leorio says. "You have business in the medical ward?"

Pyon puffs out her cheeks indignantly. "Business? No business whatsoever! Seems like all the Zodiacs have important business to do but me!"

"Pyon is furious because Cheadle won't let her join the meeting that she's having with Mizai, Botobai, and Ginta," Gel explains.

"Those four are always so cliquish and secretive!" Pyon complains.

Leorio attempts to reassure her. "They're not singling you out. Gel and I were excluded from recent meetings too. I heard that Mizaistom is wary about the presence of a spy."

"That's not even the worst part!" Pyon huffs. "A few days ago, the Rat dropped by, and they let him join their meeting, but not me! What's up with that?! I've been in the Zodiac Twelve longer! Chairman Netero personally selected me, while the Rat randomly took over when Pariston flaked!"

Leorio freezes. Kurapika was here?! He was in the third tier, and didn't even stop by to say hi? Leorio's thoughts are whirling chaotically in his head, and he isn't sure what to say or what expression to display.

As Pyon gazes at Leorio's sweat-soaked face, her resentment shifts to curiosity. "Were you exercising just now, Leorio?"

Izunavi clears his throat impressively. "I've been assisting Leorio with his training. I was Kurapika's master too, you know. Two Zodiacs under my tutelage. . . . I couldn't be prouder of my students' achievements."

While Gel is generous with her compliments to Izunavi — and with the flutter of her eyelashes — Pyon looks thoughtfully at Leorio.

Leorio is starting to feel self-conscious. "Gel, give me a minute to change, then I'll join you behind the counter."

Leorio leaves to peel off his dirty clothes and put on a fresh uniform. When he returns to the others, Izunavi is leaning over the counter and regarding Gel with an inquisitive expression.

"I don't know, Izunavi," Gel is saying. "It just seems too soon."

"We're just going to hang out," Izunavi persists. "That's it. No pressure whatsoever. If you'd prefer a more laid-back atmosphere, why don't we go out as a group?"

"Are you suggesting a double date?" Pyon chimes in. "Gel, you have to say yes! The Zodiacs never get the chance to do fun stuff like this!"

Gel still sounds doubtful. "A double date? But who —"

"Leorio and I will come along, of course!" Pyon bounds over to Leorio's side and squeezes his arm. "Right, Leorio?"

"Wha —?!" Leorio feels as though his body is vibrating as Pyon, ecstatic, bounces nonstop beside him.

Gel smiles ruefully at her friend's frenzied delight. "Well, I suppose if the two of you are coming too, then it's probably fine. Does this arrangement work for you, Izunavi?"

Izunavi grins. "Couldn't be happier about it. Shall we all meet back here tonight, then? Say, at around seven?"

Izunavi marches off after a breezy wave at the women, and Leorio takes a few seconds to wriggle away from Pyon's grip on his arm, trying to be as tactful as he can. He then catches up to Izunavi, who's walking back to his room in the central hospital.

"What was that all about?!" Leorio demands.

Izunavi nudges Leorio playfully with his shoulder. "No need to thank me! I've actually been looking out for a while now for someone who'll be good for you. Someone who can help you heal your broken heart. I couldn't have asked for anyone better than Pyon! She's small and feisty and cute, so she's your type, right? Not to mention, she gets along well with Gel and puts her at ease, which is a bonus for me. This is all working out perfectly!"

"I'm not ready for this! I'm nowhere near ready!"

"When will you ever be ready? Come on, it's already been two weeks since he rejected you!"

And only one week since Leorio had sex with him for the first time, for the last time. Leorio still sees him in his dreams, every time he closes his eyes. "It's just too raw, too fresh," he mumbles to Izunavi. "I can't deal with anything new right now."

"Something new is exactly what you need. And a cheerful girl like Pyon, who has zero baggage . . . she seems perfect. At least give this a shot, okay? For me?"


A double date with his new mentor and the second and third hottest Zodiacs, in Leorio's humble opinion — this is truly one of the last things that he would ever expect to happen on an eight-week expedition to the Dark Continent.

Clinging to Leorio's arm, Pyon chatters away. As they traverse the hallways of the third tier, they lag behind Izunavi and Gel, given that Pyon periodically pauses to instruct Leorio to pose for photos.

After Pyon tells Leorio for the third time to hold a thumbs-up to the camera, he decides to speak up. "Listen, Pyon. . . ."

Pyon is beaming down at her phone with the pink bunny-ear case, her thumbs flying so fast over the screen that they're practically a blur. "Hmm? What's up, Leorio?"

When Pyon glances up at him with a radiant smile, Leorio backtracks with what he intended to say. "I just wanted to thank you. For suggesting this double date, I mean. Izunavi has been wanting to ask out Gel for ages, and she might not have said yes if you didn't push for it too."

"Oh, I didn't do it for Gel and Izunavi. I did it for myself." Without warning, Pyon jumps up to hold Leorio's face with her small hands. "Leorio, you're totally the type of guy I want to date! Freakishly big, but surprisingly soft and sweet!"

Leorio's face flames up instantly. "Eh?! Ah —"

Pyon squishes his cheeks between her palms. She then looks over to the side and only then seems to notice that Izunavi and Gel have already disappeared around the corner. She grabs Leorio's hand now. "Come on! We gotta catch up to them!"

They race down the hallway, with Pyon towing along Leorio behind her. Just as he's starting to appreciate the promising stirrings of a new beginning, the realization of where Izunavi has taken them forcibly sucks out all the oxygen from his lungs.

The vista area. Arguably the most romantic location on the Black Whale, and certainly the place with the best view of the stars, which are sprinkled liberally across the inky expanse of sky.

Leorio, however, can't bring himself to appreciate the spectacular view. He can only think back to that time — catapulting sacks of decapitated heads overboard, with Melody by his side. Heads tumbling from the cloth sacks, spinning against the azure sky. Mouths agape with silent screams. Eyes frozen open forever, reflecting death, perhaps, or the clown that brought that doom upon them.

Leorio's hand trembles as he instinctively reaches for the pack of smokes in his pocket. Although he sticks a cigarette between his lips, he doesn't light it up. Nausea is rippling over his stomach now. Overpowering.

Noticing the color draining from her date's face, Pyon asks him what's the matter.

Leorio can't take this anymore. His only response to Pyon is to sprint forward and projectile-vomit over the edge of the ship.

Once he's emptied his tummy's contents into the icy sheets of water below, Leorio clasps a palm over his mouth and, already fearing their reactions, turns toward the others. He's not at all surprised by the mute horror on their faces. Way to ruin this double date, Leorio.

Leorio's voice is muffled against his hand. "Seasick. Sorry, I should leave. Don't worry about me. Just enjoy yourselves."

With this, he leaves them and returns alone to the medical ward.


The medical ward's regular opening hours are over now. Leorio raises his left hand to acknowledge Cheadle, who's working alone behind the counter, plowing through the paperwork that piled up while she was away at her meeting.

Leorio drops by the bathroom to thoroughly wash his mouth and hands, then stops by the pantry to pour two mugs of coffee. He goes back to the front counter to offer a mug to Cheadle, who thanks him for his thoughtfulness.

"Anything I can help you with?" Leorio asks her.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Cheadle spins around on her swivel chair to tap a mountain of papers behind her. "Will you please sort these files according to the date of admission?"

Leorio nods and settles down next to her to begin rearranging the files.

As Cheadle efficiently applies her signature to a series of documents, she initiates conversation. "Any particular reason why you departed early from your double date? Pyon sounded excited to go out with you."

Leorio sighs. "Let's just say it was a total fiasco, which may or may not involve trauma triggers and seasickness used as a scapegoat."

Cheadle pauses for a second to consider this. "You've barely told me anything about your experience up there, back in the first tier. Mizai and I were hard on you, I know — suddenly leaving you to fend for yourself in a war where the rate of casualties is sky-high. You didn't come to the Black Whale to fight, but to train. I understand that, and I've been meaning to apologize to you about that."

Leorio brandishes both hands to dismiss her concerns. "Hey, no need to be sorry! I'm the one who chose to head up to the first tier, over Mizaistom's objections! Besides, you have been training me, as best as you possibly can. Cheadle, you're incredible. Really, I'm floored every time I watch you do your thing in the operating room. You're the most talented doctor I've ever met, by far!"

Cheadle stares silently at Leorio, and he stares back, wondering whether he's said anything offensive by accident. It then dawns on him that she isn't pissed. Not at all. Color is blossoming over her cheeks.

Argh! Cheadle's blushing is making Leorio himself blush! He never would have guessed that Cheadle was capable of being this adorable! He averts his eyes and gives an exaggerated cough. To hide his embarrassment, he makes a big show of rifling as noisily as possible through the files in front of him.

When Leorio dares to glance at Cheadle again, he sees that she's smiling as she dashes off signatures.

Cheadle catches him watching her. "What are you thinking about, Leorio?"

What is he thinking about? Beyond the moment-to-moment preoccupations of his brain, the back of his mind is reserved for always the same thing. The same person, to be exact. "I'm just . . . dreading seeing Pyon and Gel again, after tonight's disastrous date. I sure made a fool of myself."

"You know what I've been thinking?" Cheadle says, her voice soft. "Perhaps I should introduce a new by-law to the Zodiac Twelve's internal rules, one that prohibits members from entering romantic entanglements with one another. Otherwise, it can get messy, right?"

Leorio answers too quickly. "No! You can't! I don't want that."

"Then you're okay with messy, Leorio?"

When Cheadle tentatively rests her hand over his, Leorio holds his breath. He doesn't pull away.


Two days later, Leorio is in the cramped pharmacy of the medical ward. While his hand roots blindly over stacks of analgesic ointment, his eyes are trained toward the rubbers by the counter.

Should he pick some up? Sure, he may be moving too fast, but everything moves fast on the Black Whale these days, doesn't it? It can't hurt to be safe.

Steeling himself, he marches toward the counter. He plops down a minuscule bottle of menthol balm, then casually adds a foil packet on top of it.

Just then, the bell over the door pings, and a new entry navigates between the narrow aisles to stand beside Leorio. The new arrival claps down a bottle of aspirin on the counter and calls for a refill.

Leorio's jaw drops once he sees the person standing next to him.

Surprise also flickers over Hisoka's face, but he's grinning in no time. "Yo. It's been a hot minute, hasn't it?"

There's a body splayed over Hisoka's back, which he's carrying piggyback-style. It's Kurapika, sound asleep. Not too long ago, Leorio was the one holding Kurapika like this. How the tables have turned.

Hisoka strokes Kurapika's arms, which are wrapped snugly around his neck. "Kurapika, look! It's your ex-boyfriend! Ah, it's no good. He's just drifted off, so he won't wake until tomorrow, most likely."

Leorio's shock gives way to anger now. "What the hell have the two of you been doing again?! Did he collapse?!"

"No, no. He's just tired. The countless sleepless nights — care of yours truly — must have gotten to him."

The pharmacist is reaching for the bottle of medication that Hisoka brought in, but Leorio grabs it first. He shakes it. It's not a small bottle, and it's empty.

Leorio's tone is accusatory. "Kurapika picked up this aspirin about a week ago! There's no way he could have gone through an entire bottle within that time, not unless he's been abusing it!"

Hisoka sighs. "He's not the only person up there, you know. Without your famously soothing presence to alleviate their stress, all the members of the 14th Prince's camp have been suffering aches and pains."

"I don't fucking believe you. How many pills has he been swallowing per night? Per hour?"

Hisoka snatches the bottle away from Leorio and tosses it toward the bemused pharmacist. "Then what do you expect him to do? Ignore each excruciating twinge of his pretty little head?"

"If he's having migraines again, then that can only mean . . .! So let me ask you one more time. . . ." Leorio grasps the collar of Hisoka's shirt and roughly yanks him forward. "What has Kurapika been doing lately? What have you been doing to him?"

Hisoka only smirks and says nothing. He presents a number of coins to the pharmacist, who dutifully trades them for a full bottle of aspirin.

When Hisoka's eyes wander over Leorio's prospective purchases, he hoots in delight and slaps Leorio's hand away from his shirt. "Some advice, my dear friend? If you want to be safe, be really safe. One rubber won't be enough. For a premature ejaculator like you? No way!" Hisoka reaches out and overturns the display of condoms, which rain down in a heap over the counter. "There, that's more like it! Have fun, and fuck responsibly!"

Cackling, Hisoka skips out of the pharmacy, with Kurapika still sleeping serenely on his back.