Chapter 31 – The Shadows Find Me Out
Note: Chapter Title from SJ Tucker's song 'Cheshire Kitten'. Also, fair warning, this chapter is nuts. So, have fun with that.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters, nor do I own Cheshire Kitten.
Now that that's out of the way, let's begin…
Last time,
Remus doesn't hesitate, "My kid is in there, Alastor. For him, I can handle anything." He knows that hasn't always been true, but he's better than he's been in a very long time. He feels the same strength and determination fill him that he remembers feeling when he overcame his panic back when Severus was bullying two muggle-born kids.
Moody recognises the look in his eye and nods. "Welcome back."
Remus smirks.
Now,
The Order of the Phoenix, minus Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Aberforth, and Severus, move stealthily through the trees, reaching an old bunker type door which they alohomora and climb silently inside.
"Any idea what to expect?" Tonks asks Remus quietly once they are all inside.
"None at all, I was unconscious when Regulus broke me out." Everyone looks more nervous after that before they steel themselves and move towards the only door in the room. On the door they find a message.
"The mazes within are harder to escape than those of physical reality," Arthur reads aloud. "You don't suppose that's just a metaphor and we won't actually have to navigate a maze, do you?"
"I sincerely doubt it," Kingsley responds.
"Surely Death Eaters having to find their way through a maze every time they come here is just a waste of time," Molly says.
Tonks nods to the wall besides the door where there is the Dark Mark symbol. "I assume that deactivates it, or whatever. Pity we didn't bring Snape."
"No one else happens to be an ex-Death Eater and just hasn't mentioned it?" Remus asks, no one speaks up, "Guess we're doing this the hard way then." They enter the room.
Instantly the door behind them disappears.
"Yeah…that figures," Sturgis says, a sentiment the other Order members cannot help but strongly agree with.
Around the room there are six doors, all of them appearing and disappearing at random. All of a sudden they fall…onto the ceiling.
"Whaaaat the fuck?" Sirius exclaims, sounding almost indignant as he straightens his jacket.
"Literally what is even happening anymore," Tonks complains, looking down they see the doors continuing to appear and disappear.
Remus frowns as they fall again, to the ground this time.
"What the fuck is going on?!" Mary shouts angrily.
"Please, be louder, I do not believe my sister in France heard you," Fleur tells her, Mary glares for a moment before she takes a deep breath and calms down. Just in time for them to get flung onto the ceiling again.
Remus sits for a moment, staring at the doors. He mutters under his breath, "Appearing disappearing, hardly innocent nor tied down, to the ground."
"What was that?" Elphias questions.
Remus frowns, "Nothing, lets just move closer to a door and when gravity inverts again we'll rush through it before it can disappear." They all do so and when it happens, they all make it through.
They end up in a hallway, luckily staying on the floor this time. They all sigh with relief. However, when Mary moves forward Mad-Eye yanks her back just before she's fried to a crisp by the ball of fire that fires at her. Everyone draws their wands, only to find nothing there.
"Someone really wants people kept out," Hestia comments, the others nod.
"I learnt to roll and tumble with the punches, glory in my stripes and spots," Remus mutters before he leaps forward, rolling under the fire ball before standing again, confused when nothing else attacks him.
"Erm, how the fuck did you know that would work?" Sirius asks his partner.
Remus doesn't answer, frowning in confusion, "Punches, should be something about punches." He takes a step forward when suddenly something hits him from the side and he tumbles to the ground. He turns just in time to see what looks like giant muggle boxing gloves retreat back towards the wall before disappearing just prior to hitting the wall.
"And how did you know that?" Sirius questions.
Remus sighs, "Call it a hunch." He holds a hand out ahead of him, below his hand spikes rise from the floor. He nods, moving back. He avoids the glove and rolls under the fireball again as he returns to the group. "I don't think we're gonna be able to predict this well enough to make it through," He says.
"Remus, you obviously know something, now what the fuck is going on?" Mary demands of him.
"When Bellatrix died, Draco watched it happen. He gave Severus his memory of it, wanting me to know that she had died defying Voldemort, not following him. The memory started with Bellatrix singing a song, one that is fitting well with what is happening now. I think she knew we'd end up here at some point, I think she knew Draco was watching, I think she was trying to warn us and help us through this."
"That…seems like a bit of a leap," Sturgis tells him hesitantly, worried about setting off a panic attack at what would have to be one of the absolute worst times for one.
"I grew up seeing things a little differently, Appearing disappearing hardly innocent nor tied down, to the ground. I learnt to roll and tumble with the punches, glory in my stripes and spots," Remus recites without the melody. "Look, I don't know, it's just a theory, and I know it's based on some pretty weak logic."
"It's been accurate so far, I say we run with it. We don't have another option here," Tonks says, "We have to try something."
"What's the next line of the song?" Arthur asks him.
"Walk by invisible and never make a sound."
Moody looks at the hallway contemplatively, "It's sound and motion activated."
"Well great, how the bloody hell do we get past that?" Mundungus asks.
Sirius snickers earning incredulous looks, "Sorry, it's just, if only someone had been irritated into finding out how to alter an invisibility cloak to mask sounds as well," He says, gesturing for Remus to pass him his newly made cloak that he knows is shrunken down in his pocket.
Remus passes it over as he rolls his eyes, "Oh please, you were not irritated into doing it, you were just trying to impress me."
"I wanted you to think I was smart so you'd pay more attention to me!" Sirius defends earning a look from Remus that strongly suggests he's behaving like an adorable idiot. "I was eleven, shut up." Several snickers from various order members are heard. "You guys suck," Sirius complains as he works on charming the cloak, "At least I didn't learn an entire fucking language."
Remus glares at him, "Paskapää."
"Literally how did you not even notice you were in love and so was he," Tonks asks, shaking her head at Remus who huffs.
"Is now really the time?"
"Not at all, because this should work now," Sirius tells them, holding up the invisibility cloak.
"If this fails, and it gets set on fire, I want the record to show it was Sirius' fault, not mine," Remus says sternly before putting the cloak on, missing the amusement and overwhelming fondness in Sirius' eyes. Nobody moves and keeps their breathing as silent as possible for a solid two minutes before Remus reappears in front of them. "Made it all the way to the end of the hall."
"Great, you can ferry everyone across one at a time," Moody tells him, which is exactly what happens until the whole group is on the other side of the hallway. Just before he opens the next door, Moody pauses and looks at Remus. "What's the next bit of that song?"
"But heavy is the crown that's always hidden. Tender is the heart you never see. Hard and fast shines the grin that we flash, but there's a vulnerable stripe or two in me. Maybe any place outside of Wonderland is not for me my friend."
Moody thinks that over for a minute before he nods and opens the door. The group moves in.
"Well, there's the crown part," Tonks comments as they immediately find a crown on a podium.
"Great, what do we do with it?" Bill asks them all to see if anyone has any ideas.
"Look at the doors, there's an engraving of a person wearing a crown on all of them," Fleur points out after regarding the three doors on the farthest wall for a moment.
"So someone has to wear the crown?" Mary asks before moving to pick up the crown.
"Wait!" Molly tells her, "'Never see' and 'hidden', the first and second line both refer to a similar idea, what if they are connected?"
"What does a tender heart got to do with a crown?" Hestia questions.
"Responsibility is heavy on those with tender hearts, they're sensitive, big decisions are hard," Sturgis replies, his brow creased in thought
"So, what, you think someone with a tender heart has to wear the crown?" Arthur asks, looking around the room as he does, trying to find any other clues.
Sturgis sighs, "I don't know, but I think Molly is right, there's more to it than someone wearing the crown."
"If we needed a tender heart, we brought the wrong group of people," Moody points out gruffly.
"Fleur?" Molly suggests.
Fleur rolls her eyes at that, "I am dainty, not weak."
"Remus, no offense intended, is sort of easy to render vulnerable these days, perhaps that could be enough?" Sturgis suggests as delicately as possible, but Mary shakes her head instantly.
"He might be afraid of it and in denial, but that strength is still inside him. We saw it when he refused to be left behind because his child needed him."
"I am right here, you know," Remus complains, looking quite uncomfortable. Sirius takes his hand comfortingly.
Moody looks over consideringly, "We can't find a tender heart, all we can do is find the tenderest heart among us. And what says a tender heart more than a hopeless romantic who has spent 20 years pining over the one he loves and never grown bitter about it?"
"Bitch I ain't tender!" Sirius claims indignantly.
"Did I hurt your feelings, Black?" Moody challenges.
Sirius pouts, "No," He replies, completely lying.
"Oh for the love of God, Sirius, Marlene told me why you two broke up when we were teenagers," Mary snaps, Sirius' eyes widen. Remus looks at him in confusion as he mutters under his breath about 'entirely different circumstances' and 'having emotions doesn't mean your sensitive or whatever'.
"Yep, you're up," Tonks tells him, shoving him over towards the podium.
"Never thought I'd be glad James is dead, if he were here to see it I would never live this down."
"You're never living it down anyway," Bill tells him, earning a glare before Sirius picks up the crown and places it on his head.
"Great, now which door?" Sirius asks before suddenly being tackled by something. He looks up to find five large creatures that he couldn't identify for the life of him attacking everyone. As soon as he stands and backs slowly towards the three doors again, the creatures all turn their focus to him.
"The stripes!" Tonks suddenly yells after thinking frantically, "'There's a vulnerable stripe or two on me', they've all got stripes on their backs, aim for them!"
"Sirius, focus on the doors, we'll hold them off!" Remus tells him.
"Is anyone else creeped out by the fact that they won't stop grinning?!" Tonks shouts.
Sirius turns back to the doors, focusing on them intently as he searches them for any clue as to which door they should go through. There are labels above each door. "Granny's House. The Land of Oz. Wonderland." Sirius frowns, "Aren't those muggle fairytales?"
"Anytime now, Sirius!" Hestia calls.
Sirius rolls his eyes before focusing again, "Why would famously blood purists use muggle fairytales?" His eyes widen as he remembers how Remus had been broken out of here before. "Regulus got him out but it's Severus that planned it. Severus who was Voldemort's most trusted, Severus who is a half-blood, Severus who grew up with the fairytale obsessed Lily Evans." Sirius rubs a hand over his face, "That doesn't help. Okay, the song, what was in the song?" Sirius calls the question out to the group.
"But heavy is the crown that's always hidden. Tender is the heart you never see. Hard and fast shines the grin that we flash, but there's a vulnerable stripe or two in me. Maybe any place outside of Wonderland is not for me my friend," Moody recites, noticing Remus has a heavy paw on his throat and sending Bill and Arthur to help him. He also notices Fleur and Molly fighting side-by-side and hopes that the stupid amount of angst in the house will lessen now.
"Wonderland!" Sirius realises, going over to the door marked 'Wonderland' and opening it. "Got it!"
Everyone keeps fighting as they hurry to the door, slamming it closed once they are all through and instantly being shut into pitch blackness.
"It was Severus. He made the maze," Sirius tells them all, "Back when he was still Voldemort's most trusted Death Eater."
Remus huffs, "Of course he did."
"Lumos," Moody, Bill, and Mary cast at the same time, but none of them work.
"Some how I'm not surprised your blood traitors can't handle a simple spell, Sirius."
Sirius freezes in the dark, "Erm, did anyone else…?"
"Hear your dead mother talking? Yes, yes we did," Remus replies.
"Oh, okay," Sirius says, voice shaking. They hear a familiar mad cackle that has Remus instantly in panic mode.
"Bellatrix?" Mary calls into the dark.
"Welcome back, Remy!" Bellatrix's voice says madly. Remus hears a giggle right next to his ear and jerks away, ending up on the floor. "I've missed you, my beautiful, broken toy. Do your friends bleed, Remy? We could make them bleed together."
Remus shoves his hands over his ears, breathing heavily. He feels hands on his back and whimpers. "It's okay, Remus, it's just me," Molly's voice says near him. He calms down fractionally. "I've got him," She calls to the rest of the room. As though that were the catalyst, over voices piped up, clearly intended for individual people.
"You should have saved us, Molly. The rest of your family will die too," The dual voices of Gideon and Fabian Prewett tell their sister.
"You lied to me, Dad!" Says Jamie's voice, "Did you think I wouldn't find out?!"
"Sirius!" Regulus' terrified voice screams in terror.
"Reg!" Sirius calls back, feeling panic and loss fill his being.
"Sturgis…how could you leave me behind?" The agonized voice of Caradoc Dearborn asks.
"I'm sorry," Sturgis whispers brokenly.
Remus breathes unsteadily hearing all of this and coming to one conclusion, "Nightmares," He states, voice thick with so many emotions he's not sure he can even feel them all, "They're just nightmares."
"He's right, we have to keep going," Tonks them all, trying her best to ignore her Mother screaming about stupid risks and a failure of a daughter.
"Leaving so soon? Why bother, you know that no matter where you go, no matter what you do, you'll never really escape this place, Remy," Bellatrix tells him, "How sure are you that you ever really left?"
"Oh, you bitch, don't even go there!" Mary yells into the dark. Molly yanks Remus up, pulling him along down the hallway. A door opens at the other end and suddenly they can all see. Fleur made it to the end, though all can see the tear marks on her face and remember the sounds of her sister dying that rung throughout the room. They exit the hallway and gladly shut that door behind them, everyone taking a minute to catch their breath, Remus sinking to the floor against a wall with his knees pulled up to his chest.
"Lupin, you good?" Moody asks, knowing that if he's lost it again they can't get the rest of the song and they may well be fucked from here on out.
Remus shakes his head marginally from where it is buried in hands and knees, "Gimme a minute," He requests wetly.
Moody nods, looking around the new area. There are two directions, and no clues around as to which one they should take. He hears a deep breath be let out and turns to see Remus uncurling himself though looking pale and shaky. Mad-Eye can tell that he might be helpful logically, but his ability to fight has just been shot to hell and his 'tactical mode' will be buried under fear again. The steel in his eyes earlier that had Moody allowing him to come along has faded entirely. He's frustrated, but he knows no one could have predicted what just occurred.
"What part of the song did that cover?" Molly asks quietly.
Remus flinches slightly from having to think of Bellatrix again so soon after that experience. "Um…I-I don't…" Remus takes another deep breath, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes for a moment before he swallows harshly and nods, removing his hands again. "I don't know." He looks around, proper thought slowly coming back to him, "A choice of direction, so if this is the bit about left and right, then that last part should cover all of that…" He trails off for a moment as his brows furrow, trying to remember that section of the song, "If I leave my grin behind remind me, That we ' re all mad here, And it ' s okay. Sun up, sun down, the shadows hide me down in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way, But if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your day job, Somewhere south of Hell."
"Shadows, madness, nobody knows the way, dreams and hell, it fits," Kingsley admits, "She could've been a bit more straightforward about it though."
"When was Trixie ever straight forward about anything?" Remus asks, standing up.
"I don't know, when she snogged you the first time you met it was pretty blunt and to the point," Sirius points out, Remus nods his acquiescence.
"That's how you met Aunt Bella?" Tonks asks, laughing.
Remus laughs too, though shakily, as he nods. "Yep, and then she followed me for a while until I agreed to a picnic by the lake."
"I still can't believe you did that," Sirius mutters with fake unhappiness. All he can really feel right now is disbelief at this jovial conversation involving Remus and about Bellatrix. Especially considering how he had been a mere moment prior.
"We should move on, I don't like staying in one place too long," Bill tells them all, they all agree.
"What does the song say about left and right?" Elphias asks, remembering Remus mentioning it earlier.
"Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you, The story is not for anyone else to tell," Remus replies.
"Well then, what does everyone's gut say?" Arthur asks.
"Left." "Right." Tonks and Mundungus look at each other in despair.
"Then we split up, everyone follow your gut," Moody orders, moving towards the right. "What's the next part of the song?"
"Go down the rabbit hole and out the other side, You can't go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride. You gotta greet the Sun before his lovely daughter Moon, You can't forsake the journey for the safety of your room, Until you learn, your lesson well."
"Is splitting up a good idea?" Sturgis asks uncertainly.
"The story is not for anyone else to tell," Remus repeats, "We have to make the decision ourselves and follow our own gut."
Everyone, some more hesitantly than others, choose their direction, and the two groups head off. Remus and Moody, being in different groups, nod to each other before they walk their different ways. Going left is Remus, Fleur, Arthur, Mundungus, Tonks, and Bill. Going right is Moody, Sirius, Mary, Elphias, Sturgis, Molly, Kingsley, and Hestia.
Soon after, the Left Group come to a dead end wall, with a hole at the base of it barely big enough to fit an adult.
"Down a rabbit hole, eh?" Mundungus asks exasperatedly.
"Someone's really gotta talk to Professor Snape about this fairytale fetish of his," Tonks says, somehow maintaining entirely serious composure.
"Right, let's get this over with," Remus declares. The group crawl into the hole one by one.
The Right group also come across a dead end of sorts. It does continue, but the ledge to do so is too high up for anyone to reach and none of their levitating spells are working.
Mary looks at the large carpet on the floor, "Sirius, you said something about fairytales, didn't you?"
Sirius nods, "Yes, I think Severus based a lot of this maze off of them."
"Right, everyone get on the carpet, lay down, and hold the fuck on," Mary tells them, everyone does so. Almost instantly it lifts off and starts flying. "God I wish Lily was here for this!" Mary exclaims, "Don't let go!" Mary calls just before the carpet starts making some insane movements as it flies.
"Is this a bad time to mention I get motion sick?" Elphias asks. The others look at him with slowly dawning horror.
"I'm very quickly regretting my choice of direction," Arthur mutters as they keep crawling, creepy indistinct voices whispering all around them.
"Yeah this isn't really ideal, is it?" Mundungus agrees.
"We aren't going back!" Remus says before Mundungus can even get the sentence out.
"Whatever the others are doing, can't be worse than this," Bill says making Tonks reach forward, over Fleur, to hit him.
"Why would you jinx that?!"
"I didn't cast any jinx!" Bill defends.
"Not that kind of – oh never mind."
"Does anyone else see that?" Fleur asks, stopping her crawl to point at a side of the tunnel. The others look over but see nothing more than the same dirt tunnel they've been looking at for the last ten minutes.
"What are you seeing?"
"A doll, my doll, from when I was a little girl," Fleur explains.
"Seems like the sort of thing to be ignored," Arthur suggests, they all agree and continue their crawl.
The carpet finally set down in another hallway, two large tapestries adorn the wall. One of day, and one of night.
"That is the single worst thing to have ever happened," Sirius states. Then Elphias throws up in the corner of the room, Mary rubbing his back gently.
"Think you spoke too soon, Black," Moody tells him gruffly.
"What do you suppose that is?" Hestia asks, looking at a hole in the base of the opposite wall.
"Beats me," Sirius replies.
Remus closes his eyes against the objects slowly becoming more frequent in the tunnel, the others struggling to avoid touching them as well until finally Remus feels a change in texture below his hands and opens his eyes to see Sirius looking at him in confusion. "Oh thank fuck," Remus says, getting up and immediately kissing Sirius.
"Fresh air! My old friend!" Tonks says dramatically as she exits the tunnel behind Fleur.
"Oh, is this really necessary? Ought to be moving along, right?" Mundungus asks as Sirius and Remus continue kissing.
At last, Remus pulls back breathing deeply as he rests his forehead against Sirius'.
"What was that for?" Sirius asks, not moving away from him.
"Being separated from you in this place was nerve-wracking," Remus explains, "You lot didn't have to do anything too difficult did you?"
"Nothing we couldn't handle," Molly replies simply.
Elphias pukes again.
"Riiight, anyway, shall we continue?" Remus suggests, moving towards the tapestries without letting go of Sirius' hand.
"How long do you suppose we've been at this?" Tonks asks.
"Well, we'd just woken up and had breakfast when we started, and I don't know about you lot but I am hungry and tired, so I have to assume it has been a good few hours," Molly tells them, all agreeing with her logic.
"If we are gone longer than 24 hours help will be sent," Remus tells the others.
"You think this'll take that long?" Hestia asks.
"Fuck I hope not."
"Gotta greet the sun before his lovely daughter moon," Kingsley says under his breath as he looks at the tapestries.
"Okay, easy enough," Tonks states.
"What, no-" Kingsley starts saying, but not quick enough.
"Hello, Sun. Hello, Sun's lovely daughter Moon."
Remus facepalms, "I don't think that's what the song means, Tonks."
Tonks glares at him and huffs, "Well, you dated Aunt Bella for like half your life and you were married to Professor Snape for almost a decade so, what do you think? What would Snape have made, and what is Aunt Bella's song referring to?"
"I did not date her for half my life," Remus denies even as he scrutinises the tapestries.
Sirius tilts his head to the side in thought, quite reminiscent of Padfoot. "Huh, it really was only 6 years all up. Well, like 5 and a half or something anyway."
"Can we move on from this?!" Remus asks, voice suddenly shaking slightly. Everyone wisely backs off the topic.
"Okay, let's just take a look," Hestia suggests, walking over and looking behind the tapestry of the night time. "Okay there's a door," Hestia tells them as she moves further behind the tapestry, "But it appears to be locked."
"So presumably the key has something to do with the day tapestry if we need to 'greet the sun' before the moon," Fleur says, the others nodding.
"Now hold on," Molly says, frowning at the tapestry, "Haven't we been in this position before? Trying to find something Severus had hidden for you-know-who but believing he wouldn't have hidden well from us?"
"Right, the mattress," Sturgis nods, remembering the odd mission from the first war when they had first discovered Severus' deal with Roana Gaunt.
"Right he'd hidden the map within a mattress because he knew Lily and James would remember whatever conversation it is that they had had about hiding things in mattresses like the true weirdos those three were," Sirius explains for the benefit of the newbies.
"If he's going a similar way won't that same enchantment that you knew how to get passed be on the tapestry as well?" Elphias asks Remus as the details of said mission begin coming back to him.
Remus nods as he walks towards the day tapestry, waving his hand along it, just shy of touching it, and feeling the power of that enchantment. He breaks it, causing it too glow purple for a moment before it fades away.
"Anybody got a knife to cut into this thing?" Bill asks as he feels around the tapestry. He feels the outline of a key in the sun, which reminds him of the song lyrics and makes him realise that he really should've checked this spot first.
"We've got a man who can turn into a dog whenever he likes?" Arthur offers. Sirius' whole face lights up and, as Remus suspected it would, his tail is wagging when he transforms to Padfoot.
Padfoot immediately leaps at the tapestry, getting his claws in it and dragging the whole thing off of its mount and onto the floor, covering the dog in the process.
Remus sighs as the whimpering starts, going over and pulling the Tapestry away, "You daft Mutt, what did you think was going to happen?" Padfoot looks up at him with a chastised expression on his dog-face. "No, don't give me the eyes!" The eyes widen. "Oh just wreck this thing, will you?" Remus says as he chucks the tapestry to the floor. Padfoot bounds over and onto it, finding the sun and biting and digging but unfortunately not making a lot of progress. He looks up and barks at Remus a few times along with some whimpers and other noises. Remus facepalms for a moment, "Sirius, you're a dog, you aren't currently actually talking." Tonks reaches the end of her control and loses her shit laughing which sets Bill off. Sirius growls at the both of them before getting off the tapestry, bitting a side of it and dragging it to Remus. He then grabs Mundungus' pants leg and pulls him to the other end of the tapestry.
"Oh, it keeps moving so he can't rip it, you've got to pull it tight," Molly suggests. "I work with fabric a lot," She explains to the bewildered looks.
Remus and Mundungus hold the tapestry taut as Padfoot rips into the sun. No one can really see if he's doing damage or not, but he soon gets off, running a lap of the room before going back to Remus and dropping the key at his feet.
Remus kneels down, "Good boy," He tells him, scratching his head as he picks up the key. Padfoot nuzzles into him before Remus stands back up and Sirius turns back into a human.
"You think I'm a good boy?" Sirius asks him teasingly.
Remus rolls his eyes, "Well you're the tender-hearted one." Tonks starts laughing again while Hestia unlocks the door behind the night tapestry.
The group all gladly head through.
"Hey, how long is this song, exactly?" Tonks asks, her and Remus the last to head through the door though Sirius is right in front of Remus and holding his hand.
Remus cringes slightly, "We're like, halfway through, assuming the chorus is somehow still relevant despite it repeating?"
"Which implies there are multiple ways to interpret all of this and we're damned lucky we've made it this far," Tonks says. Remus nods before he realises something. He looks forward, but Sirius is not there, and nothing is holding his hand. He turns back just in time to see Tonks walk through a door. He sees another door, feels drawn towards it, and enters without a second thought.
"Daddy, Daddy, do the magic, do the magic!" Remus looks up in shock at his sister's voice. He's met with a toddler version of Phia, their Father, young, and using magic to make small colourful sparks, much to the delight of his daughter. They are sat in front of the lit fireplace, a young Hope sat behind them on the sitting chair with a baby in her arms. Remus' breath catches as he realises it's his baby brother.
"Ah, Remus, come here sweetheart," Hope prompts, gesturing for him to come sit at her feet as he had when he was a child.
He slowly moves to do so, and as soon as he sits, she strokes his hair lightly and starts telling him old Welsh stories that her father had told her. Then his brother starts crying, and Remus is shocked to realise he doesn't know the baby's name. The family never spoke of him, there are pictures but no name with them, and Remus only remembers him referred to when he was alive in ways like 'Remus, grab a nappy for your brother, please,' and other such phrases. As his mother bounces and shushes the baby, and Lyall moves over to help, Remus realises that neither of them are referring to his brother by name. They don't know it either, because this isn't real.
Remus feels tears on his face as he kneels up and takes the baby from his mother, gently calming him as he had Jamie, Benni, Sevrin, Dora, Draco, and all the kids he has been around. "I am so sorry, little brother. But I love you very much, and I hold you close to my heart always," he tells the child, feeling the locket Eleenie had given him for this purpose heavy around his neck. He feels a pressure in his mind and recognises it as Moony wishing to come forward. He allows it, fading back as Moony takes control of their body.
"It wasn't your fault, Remus," Moony says as he looks at the child, "And they never blamed you. You have to stop blaming yourself." Moony hands the infant back to Hope. "I know you hate me," Moony says, looking between Lyall and Hope, "And I understand why. But please know, that for this, for what happened to him, no one hates me more than I hate myself. And I will suffer for it for the rest of my days. It is the only penance I can give." He fades back, allowing Remus to take control again.
"It wasn't your fault either, Moons. They may not understand, but I do, and I forgive you." Remus looks at the door, feeling an immense pull to stay behind, but as he glances at his brother again he is reminded of his own son, his son who needs his help. He walks away from his family and out the door.
"Remus! You made it out!" Molly calls as he emerges. He finds everyone looking a little worse for wear but largely whole. Only it isn't everyone. Sirius has yet to emerge.
"Where is he?" Remus asks immediately. Moody points to a door a little ways down the hall and without hesitation, without giving anyone a chance to stop him, he walks through it.
Sirius sits on the ground beneath the tree at Hogwarts where the group used to hang out, and sure enough, the group surrounds him.
Remus is shocked to see himself there, but more so at the fact that this memory is from when he and Bellatrix were together in their later years at Hogwarts. They're cuddling as the group all talks.
"I'm just saying, if you don't think Bowie is a genius and a God, then I don't need that kind of negativity in my life," Lily is saying to Marlene who rolls her eyes. Lily and Sirius high-five.
"Well that's got to be one of the few times you've high-fived him willingly," Frank comments, the whole group laughing at that.
"I don't know why anyone would do that," Bellatrix says earning a glare from her cousin before they both laugh again.
"I remember this," Remus says, startling Sirius into looking over.
"Remus?" He asks, looking to young Remus in confusion, but the younger him doesn't seem to have heard him.
Adult Remus walks over and sits behind him, putting his arms around him. "I wouldn't have expected you to be in a memory with that," He says, nodding at himself and Bellatrix.
Sirius shrugs, "She was your soulmate. I can't make you as happy as she was, and all I've ever wanted is you to wear the kind of smile only she could bring out in you."
Remus looks at his younger self and does indeed see a bright smile as the two gaze at each other. Remus frowns, leaning his head into Sirius' shoulder. "I know this isn't what you imagined when you thought about us being together. You wanted him, not an alcoholic with severe PTSD. I wish I could be him, but I can't." Remus takes a deep breath, "I don't smile like that, I know. But Sirius, you do make me happy. I…I struggle to express happiness now, I don't really know why, but it's hard for me to show when I am happy." He strengthens his hold on Sirius, "But never doubt that I feel it."
Sirius looks down sadly, "Everything was better here. We were safe. Now everyone is always in danger and I worry what would happen to you if something happened to me again. And then there's my kids, Hermione's constantly worried I'll stop caring about her at some point, Harry barely acknowledges my existence half the time. I know I fucked up by leaving them, by not coming back, but I'm here now and how can I protect them when they won't let me?"
"Believe me, I know that feeling. Jamie hasn't let me look after her since she was six-years-old and first decided she could do that herself. Then I utterly failed to protect my own family and I lost my own son," Remus says, voice tightening as he thinks of Sevrin. "Your kids will probably always struggle to accept you after the lives they have lived, and you have to understand that after everything they've been through the last few years, they're used to saving themselves. But if you make sure you are there for them, sooner or later they will start looking to you for help and support. Right now they are in danger and really need your help. We can't help them from in here."
Sirius nods, taking a deep breath and standing up when Remus offers him a hand.
"You all right, Sirius?" James asks him.
"No," Sirius replies, "But I think I will be," He says, holding Remus' hand.
"We'll always be here for you," Alice tells him, the others all nodding.
Sirius smiles, "I know."
The two exit the room, Sirius instantly pulling Mary into a hug.
"Oh, hello, yes I know I'm lovable but that door is still looking very good and I would love to move on before I just say fuck-it-all and return to camping with my parents," Mary says, sounding like she's joking about it, but Sirius sees the tears in her eyes as he pulls away.
"Yeah, let's go. We've got to be getting close now," Sirius remarks.
As they make it to the end of the hallway of doors, there is one door at the end that does not entice any of them, and they assume that must be their way out.
"Merlin's saggy ballsack!" Tonks exclaims as she yanks on the door with her entire body weight before leaning forward and dropping her head against it several times.
"It is locked?" Fleur asks, mild despair in her voice as she looks back at 'her' door.
"Are you kidding me?" Sirius' voice comes. They all turn to look at him and see him looking unimpressed at Remus as he takes a swig of a flask.
"Be happy I made it this long."
Sirius huffs at him, but smirks as he sees Molly walking up and taking the flask from him.
"Your children, his children, and my children, are relying on us to rescue them, Remus," She tells him, looking him in the eye. He cringes slightly, looking at the flask as he bites his lip. Then he nods, scratching the back of his neck before walking over to the door and clearing his throat, purposefully not looking back to Molly.
"Fuck Severus and his god damned Latin. Sirius, please tell me you can translate this?" Remus asks, pointing to the engraving circling the door.
Sirius walks over, looking intently for a moment, "I can try. Got a pen, bit of paper?" Remus hands both things over causing Mary to snicker.
"You still do that?"
"It's still bloody useful."
"What is a p-en?" Fleur asks quizzically, sounding out the word slightly in a way none of them had heard because her English is fantastic. But then, why would French wizards have taught her a muggle word for a muggle object in English.
Sirius grins, holding it up, "Come check it out, it is the greatest invention since toilet paper."
"Charming," Bill mutters as Fleur takes a seat beside Sirius on the floor and watches with interest as he writes, attempting to translate the writing on the wall.
It's fifteen minutes later that Remus is fiddling with his invisibility cloak and his wand to try and lift the complex silencing magic that Sirius had put on to it, insisting, when asked, that it takes the skill out of marauding.
"Shit, shit, shit!" He suddenly exclaims, throwing the cloak, currently being engulfed by flame, onto the floor and stamping on it until the fire goes out. He looks up at the exasperated looks of the entire Order and flushes slightly. "No one tell Sev or Lucius about that?" They all just sigh or roll their eyes. He picks up the cloak, shaking it a little before deeming it a lost cause and shrinking it to put it back into his pocket.
Sirius suddenly scoffs, shaking his head, "Yeah, okay, the translation is a little off but I can still tell you exactly what that fucking bastard was writing."
"Well, what was it?" Tonks asks when Sirius does nothing but glare at the page for a few moments.
"Why is a Raven like a writing desk?" Sirius recites in an irritated voice. The room collectively grumbles. None of them were Ravenclaws.
But Bill smirks and clears his throat, walking up to the door. "Neither of them can swim." The door opens with the loudest creak imaginable in a way that seems to convey a general feeling of 'you aren't wrong but that is so not the answer I was looking for'. They move in, the door slams behind them before anyone can even try to close it.
Sirius suddenly hears himself.
"Hagrid, it's me."
His eyes widen, "No, no, no, no, no," He chants as he moves further into the room.
"Sirius?" Elphias calls in concern, stepping towards him slightly.
"Mr Black, Headmaster Dumbledore sent me. Says I'm supposed to take the boy so he will be safe while he sorts everything out."
"You don't hear that?" Sirius whispers in fright and guilt and so many other things.
"Right, right, um, here, take my bike. Harrison, I will be back, okay?"
"How can you not hear it?" Sirius asks, voice choked in grief, not noticing the others now reacting to things no others can hear.
"Dada!"
"HARRISON! NO!" Sirius screams in despair.
"I will be back."
"No, you won't, you won't, don't go, don't leave him!" Sirius begs though he can see that there is nothing in this room beside the Order.
"Dada! DADA!"
"HARRY!" Sirius snaps out of it momentarily when he hears Remus scream for someone named 'Sevrin' a name he has heard several times now and never gotten an explanation for. "It's not real," he tells himself, "It's not real." He clears his throat, trying to block out the noise of Godric's Hollow repeating itself again, and again, and again as he abandons his child again, and again, and again. He shakes his head rapidly, "WE NEED TO KEEP MOVING!" He yells at the others, some of whom respond, most don't. He goes around shaking people until they pay attention to him again. He drags them towards the other side of the room only to find it blocked by Del. Based on several gasped names, he knows everyone is seeing someone different. Sirius wonders who 'Heidi' is when Remus whispers her name, but is quickly distracted by Del speaking.
"You left our son," Del tells him, "You don't deserve to be with him now."
Sirius looks at her, distraught, before remembering something James once said. 'You think you don't deserve family because the Blacks hated you? Well fuck you, because I deserve a brother!' Sirius swallows harshly, "Maybe not, but Harry deserves to be with me. His Dad, who loves him."
"Tom waged two wars to get Harry back, what have you done but run and hide?"
Sirius smiles sadly, "Well I'm going through hell now to rescue him. What I did in the past will always stand against me, but what I do now counts for something too." Sirius walks through Del and opens the door. She disappears.
It takes some longer than others, but sooner or later they all make it to the door, knowing yet frustrated by the fact that they cannot help each other reach the door, they all have to overcome what is holding them back. Remus' face is blank and empty when he does so, but tears are in his eyes which gives the others the impression that he is trying very hard to feel nothing right now.
"Let's go," Moody directs quietly, surprisingly obvious in how shaken he is by what just happened.
They all wonder how much help to the kids they'll even be by the time they get to the end of this. Remus mutters 'God-Father duties' under his breath before he steps through the door and finds himself in utter blackness again, only this time he can't hear anyone or anything either, including the other Order members. Mildly disconcerting to him, though he knows the others may not notice it, he cannot smell anything either. No smells, no scents, nothing. He takes a deep breath that he cannot hear and starts blindly moving forward, trying to reach the door that he is hoping is down the end of the rather large hallway.
It may be silent in the hallway, but Remus' head is another matter, and his mind takes the opportunity of losing Remus' other senses to make him think of everything he tries not to. He pushes it back, fuck does he try to push it back, but he suddenly feels like he can't breathe and he resents Molly for having taken his flask from him. He holds a hand to the wall to hold him up, trying to push forward, when suddenly light fills the hall and he sees Molly at the end by the open door, breathing heavily but okay.
"Mary!" Tonks calls, running back to the other end of the hall to where Mary is on the ground just inside the door. Mary mutters something but the others can't hear it. Tonks holds her, "Greyback isn't here, you aren't there. Come on, look up, see what's going on." The others realise the dark and the quiet must have reminded Mary of the cell she was kept in for so many years. They're more than a little surprised, now that they think of it, that her claustrophobia hadn't been set off yet. That, or she's done a bloody good job of hiding it. Mary slowly stands, shaking and leaning on Tonks, but moving forward, always forward.
"Before we go through, all of this would have been easier if we'd gotten the clue from the song before we went through. So what's the rest of it? Just in case we go through several places before we get the chance to stop again," Arthur asks Remus.
Remus doesn't speak for a moment, a wide and frightened look in his eyes as he tries to breathe deeply.
"Come on Remy, one panic attack per person per room, Mary's already filled the slot," Bill tries with false jocularity.
Sirius tries to step towards Remus but freezes when he flinches back slightly.
"We don't have time for this," Moody declares, grabbing the flask from Molly and hobbling down before shoving it at Remus who stares for a moment before recognising it, taking it, and downing the rest of the contents.
Sirius gives Moody the bitchiest of all bitchfaces, "What the absolute fuck do you think you're doing?"
"What's necessary to save your bloody kids," Moody replies, "Lupin, what's the rest of the song?"
Remus takes a deep breath, steadier than before, "That's how it is in songs you see and stripes always looked good on me, Whether or not I'm really there. Heavy is the burden of the wise ones, When no one understands a word they say. The Jabberwok never bothered anyone but nobody believes him to this day, And why should they? If I leave my grin behind remind me, That we're all mad here, And it's okay. Sun up, sun down the shadows find me out in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way, But if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your day job, Somewhere south of Hell. Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you, The story is not for anyone else to tell. You gotta go down the rabbit hole and out the other side, You can't go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride. You gotta greet the sun before his lovely daughter moon. You can't forsake the journey for the safety of your room until you learn, Your lesson, well. Is it the stripes or the spots you see, Was it hearts or diamonds baby brought you here to me? Darling, you know better than to trust a pack of cards! What have we learned? The world is never as mad as it could be, never as mad as it could be! If I leave my grin behind remind me, That we're all mad here, And it's okay. If I leave my grin behind remind me, That we're all mad here, And it's okay. If I leave my grin behind remind me, That we're all mad here, And it's okay." Everyone stares at him in silence.
"That is a lot of rooms," Sturgis comments.
"Maybe the repeating parts are just to make it seem more like a song so she wouldn't be caught," Tonks suggests hopefully.
"I wouldn't count on it," Moody says gruffly.
"But we can hope," Sirius replies tersely.
"Tender heart," Mary mutters, smiling slightly.
Sirius huffs but leads Remus forwards by the elbow as they all walk on.
Nobody quite knows how to describe what happens in the next room. First they see the things they want more than anything, then those things warp and twist and colours change and it's like they're tripping on drugs that don't even exist. And all through it those things they want are just out of reach.
"You know better than to trust a pack of cards. Never as mad as it could be." Mundungus mutters, "We can't trust it, we need to reject it," He says louder so that the others can hear over whatever the fuck all this mess even is. "I don't want it!" Mundungus shouts to his hallucinations which, as he keeps going, fade more and more. The others follow his lead until finally, the path to the door is free. They head out it, only to find themselves faced with…
"Ninjas?" Mary asks incredulously.
"From the Ninja gakkō I assume," Sturgis states.
"The what now?" Mary asks.
"Ninja school, it's Japan's version of Hogwarts. So you know how Ninja legends include lots of poisons and disappearing and various things masking escapes. It's all magic that muggles couldn't understand. They didn't have quite so strong laws about using magic on Muggles over there, still don't actually. Essentially, so long as a Muggle does not believe in magic and you do not change that, free reign," Sirius explains, "To help control their magic they are trained in discipline from a young age, and how is discipline commonly taught in Japan?"
Mary sighs, "Martial Arts."
"Hence, the Ninjas."
The ninjas pull out swords but make no move forward, parting as Death Eaters and then Voldemort himself walk passed them.
"Stupefy!" Voldemort immediately casts at the still rather out of Remus who utterly fails to block it and as such falls to the ground like a heap of Drop Bear shit. "I do trust that you realise resistance is futile at this point, yes?" Voldemort asks. The Order Members exchange looks, knowing they are battered from the maze and vastly outnumbered. Plus, Ninjas, so, you know. They lower their wands, Moody doing so under great protest if his angry facial expression is any indication.
They are lead to a cell in which they find the children, Remus is thrown inside.
"Well, half of our objective is fulfilled. Find the kids!" Tonks states with fake cheer.
"Oh goody, I feel so much better now," Draco drawls.
The cell door slams behind them.
