Love Quote #32 - "Love knows not its own depths until the hour of separation."
Until the Hour of Separation
Andrea waited on the cot for Molly, Michelle, and Paula to arrive. Resting on her lap was the sniper rifle she had picked out in the armory the day before. Today they would take her out and test her to see if she really was "Annie Oakley" as Negan called her…to determine if she was worthy of joining the Saviors. She was surrounded by a section of the workers area of The Sanctuary. Each side was covered with a sheet or blanket. That's how the workers lived: cramped quarters, separated by sheets, and a stiff cot and stained pillow for sleeping. She shared dinner the night before with another family who had been gracious enough to give her their meager offerings.
When she remembered eating the small meal and how she tried to make it last, it brought back the misgivings Andrea had about Shane's plan to sneak into The Sanctuary. How did Negan boast of having so much to live on, so-called "Easy Street"—when a family of four was reduced to eating from two cans of tuna, stale bread, and flat soda? Was it easier to live as a high-ranking Savior? Were there more luxuries afforded to them? Shane seemed to think so and had demanded that he and Andrea be made lieutenants right away. This amused Negan who thought it was better to separate them and put them through their own trial periods. To break them or see what they were made of, Andrea didn't know, but this was the first time they had been forcefully separated.
Every other time, Shane and Andrea had separated of their own accord. When Andrea hung around Philip Blake in Woodbury; that was her own choice. When Shane isolated himself in their Hyundai during their brief stay with Morales' family, he decided that on his own. Negan was the first one to force their separation. Andrea wondered how Shane was faring—where had they taken him? What did they plan on making him do for his initiation? Andrea knew they were being initiated as part of their process to join the Saviors, like a street gang. Negan would do everything he could to break both their wills—including separating them. Andrea wasn't there to encourage Shane, and Shane wasn't there to protect Andrea. Vice-versa and it was still the same with Shane not being there to encourage Andrea, nor was Andrea there to protect Shane.
Now Andrea had to depend on her own strength to get through whatever lay in store for her. She sat on the cot and kept her hands folded on her lap, to prevent herself from wringing her wrists or pulling at her fingers. She was determined not to let any of her inward fear show itself outwardly. Right now, she had internalized Shane in her mind, and she hoped he had done the same when it came to her. She remembered everything he had taught her about fighting and survival. Reminiscing about the times they had laid in each other's arms, the times they defended each other, and all the times they helped each other. Every moment, when they openly expressed their love—and even all the tough moments, the bitter arguments, the tense silences…she would do anything to have Shane at her side.
Just then, the sheet curtain was pulled to the side and Paula stepped in, uninvited. Molly and Michelle trailed behind. Torn from her thoughts about Shane, Andrea looked into Paula's dark carnivorous eyes.
"You ready to go?"
Paula didn't even greet Andrea. Of course not. Andrea already sensed how much Paula despised her. She decided not to dwell on it. Molly nodded at her and Michelle gave her a half-smile that looked more like a grimace. They weren't so bad and Andrea figured she could get used to being around them. Shane flashed through her mind again and she decided she would focus entirely on him. Everything she did today was about getting back to Shane. She clutched the sniper rifle in a tight grip as she rose to her feet. Paula didn't bother to wait and left the area. Molly and Michelle followed right after her.
"Let's go, Shane." Andrea whispered as she felt the cold metal in her fingers and trailed after the female Saviors. It amazed her that she didn't know how much she loved Shane until they were separated. Her only solace was that if she couldn't have him physically with her, at least he would always be with her in her heart and mind.
