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Chapter 32- Mr. Red vs. Mr. Blue

Jaune nodded, "Anyway."

Open to starry space.

"Oh another, anthology episode." Jaune noted.

"I guess they come in pairs." Pyrrha added.

Vic: "Now, There was an indiscriminate amount of time between Tex and Junior disappearing from Blood Gulch and the gang getting split up and reassigned by Project Freelancer."

"Wait there was? I thought they were transferred right after season five." Jaune frowned.

"Yeah me too, so you're telling me there could have been more Blood Gulch!" Nora gasped. "Ugh I would have loved another season of the BGC."

"Nora." Ren calmed. "I'm sure if there was more in Blood Gulch to see, we would have seen it then."

Nora pouted, "Yeah probably but.. ugh I wonder if they ran out of ideas? Eh I guess they're making up for it now."

Jaune frowned. "I don't think they ran out of ideas, they just wanted to move on. But if they had any ideas that never got used, an anthology is the perfect time for them."

Vic: "You all remember that. It was a strange time."

"We don't remember that." Nora mumbled.

Vic: "A time when the Reds and Blues had become familiar with one another, but were technically still at war, BUT were simultaneously no longer really giving a damn, BUT were also not really fond of each other."

"I love that time." Nora giggled. "Red team was the only one attacking."

"Red team has almost always been the one attacking. Blue team attacked only by mistake or when Tex was involved." Blake chuckled.

"Blue team never really gave a damn." Yang explained.

"Yeah but Sarge did!" Nora smirked.

"They were technically at war while familiar with each other from season three to season… eight I'd day." Weiss added.

"Eight? Yeah maybe." Jaune shrugged.

Ruby laughed, "Yeah but now they're familiar with each other, on the same side, but still not fond of one another."

"They also still don't give a damn, they just go along with each other's mission." Yang pointed out. "Mostly Red team following Blue team."

"Keep your enemies in range of your primary firearm." Nora smirked.

"And Sarge has a shotgun so.. he has to be really close." Ruby giggled.

Vic: "Like I said it was a strange time. And strange things happen when you're stuck in a canyon with the worst friends/enemies/robot companions/siblings. Man...what a bunch of weirdos."

"Mr. Red vs. Mr. Blue" appeared on the screen with the theme.

"Lopez is a great robot companion." Weiss frowned, "They're just horrible human companions to him."

"Horrible human companions? I can relate." Blake laughed.

Yang joined her, "Good one."

Ruby and Weiss however did not join her. Weiss scoffed, Ruby's eyes widened in horror. "Wait have we been bad?"

Blake shook her head, "No Ruby." She reassured.

Ruby gave a sigh of relief, "Oh good."

"I believe I am an excellent companion and teammate." Weiss sat straight.

Ruby nodded, "You are! ..anyway Vic said horrible siblings.. but Grif is a great brother. He really cares about Sister."

"His sister is the horrible sibling." Jaune suggested.

"He's a little overprotective." Yang commented.

Ruby scoffed, "You're calling him overprotective?" She fixed Yang with a glare, raising her eyebrows.

Yang snorted and rubbed the back of her head, "I don't mind being a hypocrite when it comes to protecting my baby wittle sister." Yang moved closer to Ruby, quickly trapping her in a hug that Ruby desperately tried to escape.

Blake shook her head at the display, "Mr. Red vs. Mr. Blue." She said as her attention was turned back to the screen. "What do you think it means?" She asked the group.

Ruby grunted and kicked Yang in the stomach, pushing with her legs to get away. "I- ack! I bet it's for Church and Sarge! Leaders of the teams, they're Mr Red and Mr-" she was cut off as Yang popped her back in a bear hug. "Ahh! Whyyy?!"

"I think it could be about parents, I don't know how though." Jaune shrugged as Ruby broke away, rubbing her back.

Blake chuckled as she shrugged, "Maybe."

Fade to Tucker backing away from Red base.

Tucker: "Tight!"

"Hey look, he has a shoulder thing too." Ruby pointed. "It's a bird."

"It's a plane." Jaune continued.

Ruby laughed, "That's not what I was doing."

"Oh right." Jaune blushed. "Uh yeah looks like an eagle."

"Why do they have those now?" Nora asked. "They didn't before and they don't have them in season ten."

Ruby shrugged, "Don't know, but it's something in the game."

Yang nodded, "I think it's a new version of the game or something, have you noticed how clean the show looks?"

"I have." Weiss nodded, "I thought it was simply a better screen recording."

"Could be both." Yang shrugged, "Just my guess."

"It's a good one." Jaune nodded. "I think the eagle fits blue team."

"Yeah me too, they're the most.. heroic." Pyrrha settled on the right word.

"Why does Red team get a crummy snake?" Nora pouted. "They're heroic too."

"Sarge is." Pyrrha agreed. "And it should be especially 'crummy' for Simmons." Pyrrha noted.

"..what? W- oh Ha!" Ruby laughed. "I forgot he's afraid of snakes."

"Every time he looks at his shoulder he freaks out." Yang snickered.

Simmons: "Hey!"

Cut Simmons and Grif on top of the base, revealing a movie poster on the wall below them. The Red team banner is also in view.

Simmons: "The fuck are you doing to our base, blue!?"

"Is that a poster?" Ruby pointed.

"I think so but I can't see it well." Weiss squinted.

Blake hummed, "Hold on, look at the Red team banner. That's why their shoulders have the emblem."

Everyone looked to the right and saw the Red team snake banner.

"Has that always been there? I never noticed." Ruby frowned.

"Me neither." Jaune added. "Guess that's the Red team sigil, for everyone not just the Blood Gulch Reds."

Ruby absentmindedly fiddled with her own toon RRAYNNBW emblem.

Tucker: "Oho, hey guys! I was just putting up fliers for my thing tonight. I'm hosting a mov-"

Grif: "(interrupting) Movie night."

Cut to a wall plastered with movie fliers behind the reds. The fliers read "TONIGHT AT 1 AT BLUE BASE DON'T MISS IT."

Grif: "We figured it out."

"He's been busy." Weiss noted.

"A movie night? We've been having these for the past week!" Ruby laughed. "Except not at night."

"Even though I enjoy this show, I will not avoid sleeping to watch it." Weiss explained.

"Eh I would, we could have binged the first ten seasons if we'd just stayed awake." Nora shrugged.

"Also not a movie." Weiss added.

Ruby sputtered, "Ok whatever! A viewing party!"

"Not a party either." Yang mumbled.

Ruby groaned.

Tucker: "Awesome! Well, I'm keeping the film a secret, but I can give you guys some hints."

"Hopefully it's not a home movie." Yang quipped.

"Gross." Ruby grimaced.

Tucker: "It's a kickass crime caper made by the most badass filmmaker of all time!"

Grif: "C'mon Tucker, we know it's Reservoir Dogs! It's always Reservoir Dogs!"

"Reservoir Dogs?" Blake raised an eyebrow. "Interesting title."

"Is it an action movie with dogs! That'd be so cute!" Ruby giggled. Blake did not share her enthusiasm.

"I know imagine them with shades and guns!" Nora added.

Ruby gasped, "Zwei always looks so cool in the aviators dad puts on him for motorcycle rides."

Yang laughed, "I need to take him out sometime."

Blake shook her head, "He has aura right? I hope you crash."

"Zwei would be fine." Yang waved her off.

"Unfortunately." Blake mumbled, "Anyway, Reservoir Dogs is probably talking about the criminals. But I don't think the movie is that important."

"With the amount of fliers Tucker has, it seems important to him." Ren pointed out.

"And they're watching it again." Jaune added.

Simmons: "I'm so sick of that movie."

Tucker: "You can't get sick of Reservoir Dogs! It's impossible! It's the perfect movie: kickass dialogue, kickass characters, kickass ass-kicking."

"Sounds like my kind of movie." Yang laughed.

"Kickass dialogue probably means one liners, no thanks." Blake shook her head.

"My kind of movie." Jaune chuckled.

Grif: "Ooh yeah. That sounds great, Tucker, but we actually have plans tonight for once."

Simmons: "Yeah, Sarge says he's gonna make Grif finish that squat he started in basic."

Grif: "On second thought, we'll be there."

"He can't handle one squat?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"I bet it's just a body weight one too." Ruby added. Her eyes widened and she laughed.

"Well.. now that would be tough for Grif." Weiss chuckled. Ruby nodded her head as she laughed.

Cut to the reds and blues filing into Blue base. Next to the doorway, a sign reads: "Temporary truce! Seriously, Sarge. We're all looking at you. Don't start no shit. Won't be no shit."

Nora burst out laughing. "Sarge brings the action."

"I'm glad we're not watching this with someone like him." Weiss shook her head.

Cut to Doc and Tucker by a TV.

Doc: "Alright, everyone! Remember, we're calling sanctuary, so no fighting."

Donut: "Well, I thought you could only call sanctuary in a church."

Church: "Yea-huh, whaddaya want?"

Yang laughed, "Finally, finally! I've been waiting for them to joke about his name."

"Haven't they already? In season eight he was followed around like a god." Jaune noted.

Yang shrugged, still grinning. "Eh, that was a little indirect."

Tucker: "This is a church! A cinema! So grab some popcorn! And shut up."

"I want popcorn." Ruby mumbled.

Nora gasped, "What if.. what. if! ..Reservoir. Dogs. is. us! What if the movie they're watching is our story!"

"..what?" Even Ren was shocked.

"Think about it! Some of our voices are in the show, the teachers, your dad, some criminals we know." Nora glanced at Yang who laughed nervously. "And the movie is an action crime movie- it's about us! This is why we were sent the show!"

Her idea was completely ludicrous, Weiss thought. But so far it was the closest thing to an answer as to why they were watching the show in the first place.

"..That's a little.. out there." Pyrrha commented diplomatically.

"It's insane Nora." Ren deadpanned. "But.. then again our voices in the show is also insane, the show possibly being from another universe too."

Nora grinned wide, "Yeah see? It makes sense!"

"But it's a crime thriller, we're not exactly criminals." Jaune explained.

"Yeah but-" Nora sagged. "Awww it's about them!" Nora pointed to team RWBY. "They're the ones who have fought criminals.."

Ruby shrugged sheepishly, "Right place right time?"

Nora moaned, "It's definitely about you guys, the Breach is the climax at the end of the movie."

"But how do we bring the reservoir or the dogs?" Yang asked.

Nora shrugged, "Blake is a cat."

Blake sighed, "To reiterate Yang's point. How do we fit?"

"I don't see a connection, unless Torchwick and the others are the reservoir dogs." Ren suggested.

Blake sighed, "I don't believe this theory for a second but I would be extremely disappointed if the Reservoir Dogs were the White Fang. But I don't see a connection either."

Nora grinned confidently, "Just wait, my theory has merit."

"Some." Ren conceded.

Doc: "Ooh, we have popcorn?!"

Tucker: "Oh, no. Not really."

Doc: "(walking away) Aaawwwwww."

"I'd leave too, can't watch a movie without popcorn." Ruby commented.

"Or the candy they sell." Nora added.

Tucker: "Gentlemen, I've had your curiosity, now I'd like your attention!"

Lopez: "Yo vamonos. (I'm leaving.)"

Lopez leaves the base.

Weiss let out an uncharacteristic giggle, "I both love and hate that Lopez is leaving."

Tucker: "A little background on our film tonight. Before Quentin Tarantino went on to dazzle audiences with Kill Bill, Inglourious Basterds and Pulp Fiction, he made his first mark on the cinematic world with this stunning debut film. A little movie I like to call: Reservoir Dogs!"

"And we understand none of that!" Yang said.

"Hurray for ignorance." Blake rolled her eyes.

Nora cheered, Ren raised his fists awkwardly. "Yay.." he mumbled.

Church: "Hey, Tucker. I was just thinkin'. I've got an idea here: What if we watched literally ANYTHING else?"

Tucker: "Why would you wanna watch anything else?"

Church: "Uh, firstly, because this movie is older than Sarge."

Sister: "Yeah, and old things are totally gross."

"Oh hey Sister is here!" Yang laughed.

Weiss and Blake groaned, Pyrrha grimaced.

"Oh boo hoo Sister is funny." Yang defended.

"I like her." Nora added.

"Sister is.. sister is a mistake." Weiss shook her head.

Yang's grin widened, "No, she makes the mistakes."

Weiss sucked in a breath, counted to ten and let it out.

"Thanks for setting me up for that one." Yang leaned back.

"Don't give me credit." Weiss rolled her eyes.

Sarge: "Hey! I'm not that old, you sockdoggling whippersnapper. Get off my lawn!"

"I wonder how old Sarge is." Nora mumbled.

Caboose: "Uh, I didn't know there was a lawn here, sorry."

Pyrrha laughed, "So polite."

Grif: "Don't you guys get it!? It's still the only movie we have in this godforsaken canyon! He's got us by the balls!"

Tucker: "Great point! So unless some one's hiding Netflix in their armor-"

Simmons: "Lopez just left."

"Netflix?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds like a site for illegal movies." Jaune commented.

"Wait isn't that ill- I mean isn't that how you get viruses?" Ruby asked.

"I can just find them on Vacuotube." Jaune explained. "It's illegal, free, and has no viruses."

"Vacuo and their disregard for copyright law." Blake sighed. "Or any law."

"That would not work well in Mistral." Pyrrha shook her head, "Anything to do with the arts is strictly the property of the artist."

Tucker: "-You'll just have to settle for watching the greatest film of all time, again. Caboose! The tape!"

Cut to Caboose next to a projector set.

Caboose: "Already set up!"

Tucker: "Whoa, uh. I don't think that's gonna work, Caboose. Why don't we just take the tape out, and play it in the VCR."

"I'm guessing that Caboose didn't set it up right." Pyrrha winced.

"Probably not." Weiss nodded.

Church: "I vote we try it. This could definitely work."

Grif: "Second it!"

Caboose: "Okay, dim the lights!"

Tucker: "No, Caboose wait!"

Electricity crackles and the projector catches on fire.

Caboose: "Uh-oh.

Pyrrha laughed, shaking her head. "He always manages to set something on fire."

"At least it wasn't himself this time." Ruby giggled.

Pyrrha shrugged, "There may still be time for that."

Cut to both teams staring in horror.

Caboose: "Uh, duh I-It broke! That is weird. I don't know how it- that would happen."

Sister: "Uhh Soooo, since that thing is on fire should I still get the lights?"

Cut to Church walking to Red base, some time later.

Church: "Yo! Reds! Anybody here!?"

Grif and Simmons walk over.

Grif: "No. We packed up and left."

"He got used to walking up to Red team." Ruby giggled.

"If only he remembered that they didn't shoot at him in the memory unit." Blake added.

Church: "Cut the crap. We gotta talk about Tucker."

Simmons: "Tucker? Don't tell me he's still upset about movie night?"

Church: "He's done nothing but sit in his room and listen to 'Stuck in the middle with you' on repeat."

"I'm assuming that's emo?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah it'd probably be like if we listened to your 'Mirror Mirror' on repeat." Ruby froze as soon as the words left her mouth.

"I suppose I will take that as a compliment." Weiss grimaced.

"Sorry." Ruby mumbled. "Oh! But think of it this way, your song makes people really sad."

Weiss laughed, "That's better."

Grif: "Could be worse."

Church: "He's been doin' it for almost six days! That's like... two weeks in Tucker time."

"I know how that feels, an hour is like a day." Nora commented.

"I only feel that way in Professor Port's class." Ruby admitted.

Grif: "Oh."

Church: "Yeah, so listen. I feel...somewhat responsible for what happened and I would like to try and make it up to him if I can."

"It's nice that they do care about each other." Jaune smiled.

Church: "Also, I gotta admit, I'm about two songs away from just covering myself in gasoline and ending it all."

Ruby and Blake burst into a fit of laughter.

"There's Church." Ruby giggled.

"Nevermind he just wants the song to end." Jaune chuckled nervously.

Church: "Are you guys gonna help me or what?"

Grif: "What? Out of the goodness of our hearts?"

Church: "Or boredom. What else are ya gonna do."

Grif and Simmons: "We're in!"

"Good argument." Nora nodded.

Sarge: "(running over) Hold on there, blue! We're not agreeing to anything! Just because we may lay down our arms for a weekly movie night, it doesn't mean that we'll just-"

Church: "(interrupting) You can play the lead."

Sarge: "I'll go get you my headshots!"

Sarge runs back to the base.

Nora laughed.

"I feel like that's something Donut would do, not Sarge." Blake hummed.

"Sarge is all over the place, that's what makes him great." Nora explained.

Cut to Church addressing the reds and Caboose next to a tri-pod camera, and a diagram of a Jewelry store with "Jewels" and "Not Jewels" labelled.

Church: "Alright, now. For our remake, we're all gonna be playing characters from the movie Reservoir Dogs."

"That's a great way to make things up to him." Ruby gasped.

"Yeah, I'd love something like that." Jaune nodded. "A recreation of my favorite movie with my friends would be so cool!"

"I can do all the explosions!" Nora raised her hand.

"It would be interesting to see one of my favorite books acted out." Blake hummed.

Yang opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. Ruby and Weiss were thinking the same thing and gagged.

"I meant the book about the man with two souls." Blake rolled her eyes.

"That sounds like it'd be hard to act out." Jaune hummed. "Is he like the Meta?"

Blake shook her head, "Not exactly but the Meta does remind me of the character in the book. The Meta is like the man with many souls."

Church: "I figure we can make just like a, sizzle-reel trailer kind of a thing. And just let Tucker direct the rest. Otherwise we're all just gonna have to listen to him bitch about how we did it wrong."

"I would do the same." Blake grinned, "Directors are terrible at adapting books."

"They have to make their mark." Ruby groaned. "Video game movies suck too."

"If they would just stick with the source material everything would be fine." Jaune added.

Church: "Here are your characters. Errm herm Here are your ca- *cough* I've got something in my throat. Herm. (in a director's voice) Here are yer characters: (cut to Lopez) Mr. Brown,"

"Naturally." Weiss commented.

Church: "(cut to Simmons) Mr. Blonde,"

"Blonde?" Yang raised an eyebrow.

Church: "(cut to Caboose) Mr. Blue, (cut to Grif) Mr. Orange, (cut to Sarge) Mr. Black, (cut to Donut) Mr. Pink and I'm Mr. White."

"Those codenames are laaaame." Ruby drawled. "The Grimm Reaper!" She said with flare.

"Yeah ours are better." Yang nodded.

Donut: "Wait, why am I Mr. Pink?"

"He should be Mr. Lightish Red." Jaune joked.

"Pink is pink!" Nora groaned.

Grif: "Are you seriously asking that question?"

Donut: "It's lightish-red! I've told you guys a thousand times!"

"And a thousand times he has been wrong." Nora huffed.

"Pink is lightish red." Ren pointed out.

"He's been right but still wrong at the same time." Nora shrugged.

Church: "Who cares what character you play?"

Donut: "Well that's easy for you to say! You're Mr. White, you have a cool sounding name. Why can't we pick our characters?"

"Mr. Black sounds interesting too." Blake shrugged, "It's mysterious."

Lopez: "Señor Café suena como "Señor Mierda". (Mr. Brown sounds like "Mr. Shit".) Además, ninguno de idiotas podrá entender mi diálogo. (Also, none of you idiots will be able to understand my dialogue.)"

Weiss chuckled.

Church: "If we pick our characters we're all gonna be fighting over who gets to be Mr. Black."

"I'm guessing his character is awesome?" Ruby shrugged.

"Mr. White can't be a boring character with that name." Jaune nodded.

"I think 'Reservoir Dogs' is extremely popular where they came from. Or else you'd have to watch the movie to understand this." Blake added.

Simmons: "Thank god Tex isn't here."

Church: "Hey! How'd you like to be Mr. has- a- fuckin'- hole in his head!?"

Yang's eyes widened, "Woof, struck a nerve. I'd be pissed too."

"Yeah Tex probably just left, and he thinks she died for real." Ruby added.

"It was very insensitive." Pyrrha agreed. "He had to walk away after the ship blew up."

Church: "And I'm not talking about your mouth or like- I'm talking about like- another hole. In your head. A new one. I'm gonna shoot you. Ya-you understand."

Sarge: "I mean...it's a little wordy."

Donut: "Mr. Pink sounds like a pansy! Tell you what: how 'bout I be Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me."

Doc is seen walking over in the background.

Church: "You can't be Mr. Purple! There's no Mr. Purple in the movie!"

Doc: "(walking away) Aaaawwwwww…"

"Doc is getting the short stick this episode." Blake chuckled.

Donut: "So? We can change the movie. I never liked how everyone dies at the end anyway."

Sarge: "Whoa! Spoiler alert! Somebody!"

Grif: "How is that a spoiler? We've watched that movie together ten thousand times!"

Sarge: "Usually, after the gunfire, I fall right to sleep."

Nora laughed, "Talking in movies and tv is boring unless it's them." She gestured to the characters on screen.

"They made standing around talking interesting." Ruby giggled.

"And they have action scenes now to top it off." Yang added.

Sister: "(running over) Hey, Taran-terrible! Why the fuck am I not Mr. Blonde!?"

Grif: "Uh, because you're a girl and also, you're not blonde."

"Oh good she's not blonde, she'd give us a bad reputation." Yang nodded to Jaune who laughed.

Sister: "Not on my head."

"Well part blonde." Yang laughed.

"I'm just going to imagine she meant her eyebrows." Ruby shook her head.

Grif: "That doesn't even- wait, what?"

Church: "Sister, there's no girls in Reservoir Dogs, go back to base."

"A boys only movie? How is this Tucker's favorite." Yang asked.

Sister: "What about the all-female remake they made? Ya 'know? The terrible one?"

Church: "Reservoir Bitches? It was terrible."

Yang laughed, "They get style points for that title."

Weiss shook her head, "That title is rude."

"I love it." Yang laughed again.

"I wonder why it was terrible, my guess would be that the all female cast was their only plot point." Blake suggested.

"Women." Nora shrugged.

Sister: "Fine! Enjoy being sexist! I'm gonna go make my own movie! And it'll only have girls! Then you'll see who's sexist!"

Simmons: "And where are you gonna get girls to help you make an impromptu movie?"

Sister: "I've done it before. They didn't even care about the nudity. Because women. Are. Professionals! (runs away)"

"Now that is a movie Tucker would enjoy." Yang chuckled.

"They should just let Sister do all the work." Blake nodded.

Grif: "Please do not tell anyone else the things you just said!"

Sister: "(offscreen) I haaaate you! You're just like mom and dad!"

"She's a lot more angsty than last time we saw her." Blake commented.

"Yeah more.. teenagery?" Ruby frowned.

"Ruby.. you're a teenager, we're all teenagers." Weiss gestured around the room.

"Ugh you know what I mean!" Ruby groaned.

"You sound like a grandma." Nora commented. Yang laughed.

Cut to a film reel. "A Red vs Blue joint: Resvoir(crossed out) Resivouir (crossed out) Water Pond Dogs"

Blake and Jaune laughed.

Yang turned to the group, "Spell Reservoir, go!"

Weiss shook her head, Blake turned to watch everyone else, Pyrrha and Ren chuckled. Nora, Jaune, and Ruby frowned.

"R, E, S, E, R, V, O, R- er I mean I, then R!" Ruby listed off rapidly.

"You win the spelling bee." Yang complimented.

Grif: "Ugh. I am shot."

"Actor of the year." Yang clapped.

"Tucker is going to hate this I can already tell." Blake laughed.

Cut to Church and Grif in a Warthog with a green screen city background. Girf is crumpled over in the back and Church is driving.

Church: "Hey, you cut that shit right now. You're hurt. You're hurt real fuckin' bad, but you ain't dyin'. 'Kay? Trust me I know what that feels like."

Ruby laughed, "He's trying."

"Church is putting a surprising amount of effort into making Tucker feel better." Weiss commented.

"He could just be doing it so he doesn't go insane from the song." Jaune pointed out. "But I think he's doing it for Tucker."

Grif: "Ahhh... That heist. It went so bad. And now, I have been shot. I am going to die. I know it."

"I bet Donut could play an injured person." Nora hummed, "He'd be great."

"He does get hurt a lot." Ruby nodded.

Church: "That heist went bad! But you're not gonna die! I'm... uh... line?"

Simmons: "(offscreen) I'm going to get you help."

Church: "Right- I'm gonna get you help!"

Grif: "Herk-"

Church: "No! Don't you 'Herk bleagh' me! You hold on!"

The group burst out laughing.

"That is not a line in the actual movie." Weiss said in disbelief.

Cut to the jeep driving across the canyon. Caboose narrates.

Caboose: "From the visionary brain of Quentin Tar... tar... rantula."

Pyrrha chuckled.

Cut to the team walking towards the camera.

Caboose: "In a movie where some people who like wearing the same kind of clothes and have colors for their names, decide to have a robbery heist and also, secretly-spoiler alert- one of them is a cop!"

Cut to a trunk camera view of Donut, Sarge and Church.

Church: "I think one of us is secretly a cop…"

"Hmm that's actually interesting." Blake hummed. "It would create a tense mystery."

"Yeah, an action movie with a plot." Jaune nodded.

"If this was us, Weiss would be the cop." Ruby pointed.

"Hey!" Weiss protested, but seemed to think better of it soon after.

"Ms. White the cop." Yang nodded.

Weiss chuckled, "I could put all you ne'er do wells in prison."

Cut to a gunfight.

Caboose: "There is violence. And Guns. And shooting and stuff...!"

Church: "Bang!"

Grif: "Pew. Pew. Bang."

Simmons: "Bang! Bang! Bang bang bang!"

Grif: "Oh no. According to the script, I've been shot."

"Grif is intentionally being this bad." Weiss sighed.

Cut to Simmons and Caboose with a can of gasoline.

Simmons: "Who the fuck gave him actual gasoline?!"

Caboose: "I'm a method actor."

Pyrrha and the others burst out laughing.

"That's clever." Pyrrha wiped her eye.

"And terrifying." Blake added.

"I wonder if that's a reference to the voice actor." Weiss pondered.

Sister: "(running over) Vagina power! Down with the man! Suck my lady dick! End women's suffrage! We've suffered long enough!"

"We have?" Nora raised an eyebrow.

"Their women have." Blake gestured to the screen.

"Yeah, without Faunus-" Weiss cast a wary eye to Blake. "-In the show they seem to discriminate against women and other skin colors."

"Like the Dutch Irish.. and Lopez because he's.. Spanish right?" Ruby asked.

"Not the show, the world the show was created in or whatever." Jaune cut in.

Blake nodded, "I'm guessing Women didn't always have the right to vote there."

"Weird." Ruby rubbed her chin, "Why not?"

Blake shrugged, "There's not a clear reason to it, but what I can say is that Sister is an idiot."

Yang snorted, "End Women's suffrage, we've suffered long enough. I get it."

Ruby laughed, "Oh it's a pun… oh." She frowned. "It's a pun."

Yang continued to laugh, "Sister is still great."

Cut to everyone in the blue base as the trailer ends.

Church: "So... Yeah, it's still a rough-cut…"

Tucker: "Dude, that was awesome!"

"He liked it?" Weiss frowned. "Wasn't expecting that."

"Church knew what would cheer him up." Pyrrha laughed.

Church: "Oh thank god!"

Caboose: "So does this mean we can make the rest of the movie now?"

Tucker: "As Quentin Tarantino would say: 'Let me suck on that bitches toes!'"

"Someone likes feet." Yang grimaced.

"That's gross! People do that?" Ruby recoiled.

"Oh yeah." Yang nodded, "Little sister there is a lot you don't know and I would love to keep it that way."

"Yes please." Ruby nodded.

Sister: "Ah-Ha! I knew there was a girl in the movie!"

"Tucker would want the toe sucker part." Nora giggled.

Simmons: "Hey, you know what I was thinking? What if we turned that camera around on us? Made a little documentary about Blood Gulch and all our hanging out? Ya'know, slice of life kinda stuff."

Church: "What kind of braindead lunatic would watch something like that?"

"Us." Nora pointed to herself.

"What a nice message to the fans." Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I like it when shows don't take themselves or us too seriously." Jaune commented.

"Yeah they show they care about the fans with their actions. This show has gotten better each season for ten seasons straight!" Ruby grinned.

Simmons: "Yeah... You're probably right."

The scene cut to black.


Fun fact, Ernest fucking Cline was a writer for this episode. He is the man, the myth, the legend who wrote Ready Player One the book. Absolutely recommend the book. It's incredible and completely different from the movie. (Ex: the Easter egg hunt is actually challenging)

The audio book read by Wil Wheaton is great too, if you can't read it. Listen to it, Wheaton does a great job.

As always if I write a bad chapter, let me know. It's easy to go back and rewrite certain scenes.