an: hope you guys enjoy after that last chapter!
song for this chapter: within temptation - let us burn
1914
we're fighting our fear of the silence
we're running through walls where they stand
Christmas' Bar was the closest and safest place to her current position. Ducking inside, Riza took refuge, completely shaken by her encounter. She didn't even remember walking there. The last ten minutes felt like a complete blur. The only thought that had run through her head was 'escape'. There was no processing of events and conversation. That single word sounded in time with her hurried footsteps as she put as much distance between herself and the university as possible.
After returning to the present and escaping the fear plaguing her mind, Riza realised with dismay she'd continued walking in the wrong direction. Still, landmarks were recognisable, and she'd found herself outside of Chris'. Once inside the door, she gave herself a shake, gripping the lapels of the jacket tightly. Her envelope was getting crushed underneath her elbow, but Riza didn't care.
Her entrance had unintentionally been a loud one, causing some heads to turn curiously. Once they noticed a heavily pregnant woman in the doorway, they turned away, uninterested, returning to their conversations. Luckily, it was mid evening and wasn't too busy with a military crowd just yet.
Chris was behind the bar, eyeing Riza sharply. With a jerk of her head, she motioned for Riza towards what they'd jokingly dubbed the "Ladies Bar", where she met up with Rebecca and Sheska for their nights out. It was empty when Riza entered, which she was grateful for. Since it was unused, it was colder, threatening to make Riza's teeth chatter. Given her currently shaking hands, it wasn't too hard a leap for her body to make in the chill of the room.
"What happened?" Chris' question was forceful, her eyes scanning Riza's face frantically, but with a contradicting calm expression. She was all business. Those dark eyes settled on the cut upon Riza's cheek.
Not receiving an answer right away, Chris gently but firmly tugged the envelope from Riza's grip. Without a word, she turned away and walked behind the bar. Stooping low, Chris retrieved a handful of tissues.
"I, uh," Riza blinked, looking around the room as she still tried to process what had occurred. She clutched at her jacket tighter, trying to stop her frame from shaking. The digits were beginning to cramp with the pressure but Riza didn't notice.
Tell him we say hello and nothing else. We will be watching.
The threat in that warning hovered over her head uncomfortably. She wanted to tell Chris everything. She trusted Chris completely but the sight of the shadows on the wall drew Riza up short.
We will be watching.
Riza remembered the elongating shadows in front of her, that massive eye peering at her.
"Can you talk?" Chris' voice was so low Riza didn't even hear her. A hand squeezed her shoulder tightly, drawing Riza back to the present. "Riza, can you talk?" Chris asked again, the question spoken slowly and carefully.
There was a minute shake of Riza's head.
Nodding in understanding, Chris motioned for Riza to take a seat on the chair behind her. Doing so, Riza shook out her aching fingers and absentmindedly rubbed her sore wrists. Feeling dried blood, Riza looked down at it, noting how they were heavily marked but there was only a tiny cut on her left wrist.
"Are you hurt?"
Riza shook her head. "Just this."
"All right."
Gently, Chris lifted a paper towel to her cheek and wiped away the blood. She patched Riza up carefully, silent throughout the whole process. The alcohol wipe stung her cheek, making Riza grit her teeth to ride out the pain, while also keeping her lunch in her stomach. The smell of the cleaning alcohol flooded her nostrils, making her stomach roll with nausea.
"All done," Chris announced, straightening in her chair. The weight of the plaster on her cheek felt heavy. Uncomfortable. Chris stood to dispose of the soiled towels and wipes. "I'll go and call Roy to come and pick you up."
Riza paused. She didn't want him to worry. On the other hand, she really didn't want to walk home by herself tonight. Not after beginning to fear her own shadow for very legitimate reasons.
We will be watching.
Nodding in agreement, Riza hid her shudder.
Roy took one look at her and froze on the threshold of the door. His hand gripped it tightly as his gaze roved over her form. His small, expectant smile died on his lips as he spotted the plaster on her cheek. She must have still looked agitated because he strode over to her with long and purposeful steps. Riza rose from her chair and Roy crushed her into his arms.
She finally felt safe. Like she was at home.
"What happened?" His voice was low in her ear. It was threatening, but not to her. It was to whoever had marked her skin and left her unnerved.
Shaking her head, Riza pleaded with her eyes for him to drop it. "I'm fine," she answered instead.
A hand lifted, grasping her chin with the gentlest of touches, turning her head left and right. He gazed upon her injured skin, his lips pressing into such a thin line, they almost disappeared. There was that fire back in his eyes again. It was the same fury she'd seen when Bradley appeared at their front door.
"Roy, I'm fine," she urged, gripping his wrist insistently.
That was another mistake, because he looked down, seeing the marks on them too. His head jerked back to face her, eyes burning like an inferno. They widened considerably as he breathed out heavily, like a bull gearing up to charge.
To try and soothe him, Riza wrapped her arms around his back as best she could with her stomach, clutching at him tightly. "I'm all right."
"This isn't over," he murmured almost unintelligibly into her hair. "I swear my life on it."
"It is for tonight," she fought him, her tone firm. "I just want to go home."
Silence filled the room for a long stretch of time. It felt impossibly long, dragging out as Riza silently begged him to listen to her. She didn't think he'd deny her such a request, but he was ready to fight someone on her behalf. She needed him to agree with her for his own sake too.
"All right." The fight was still in him. His tone was firm and authoritative, like she'd heard him use while on the phone while working from home. "Let's go home." His eyes still burned with that fire and Riza didn't doubt he'd tear the world apart to find out who or what had harmed her.
Even she was still at a loss for what happened. Chris was entirely trustworthy but until she was home, Riza wouldn't feel safe discussing what had happened. She shuddered again. In an instant, Roy's arm was around her shoulder as they walked, holding onto her impossibly tightly. Riza appreciated and needed his comfort and support.
Riza tried to drag up enthusiasm for her daughter as she chatted away in the backseat of their car. All she could manage were half smiles and poor excuses for laughs as terror threatened to consume her. Selim had no issue coming after her. Would they target Mia? She almost panicked in the passenger seat but dug her nails harshly into her palms to stave it off. Roy glanced over at her, noticing the state of her hands, but could offer her no words, not with Mia oblivious in the back seat. Instead, he reached across at a set of traffic lights, his palm face-up and resting upon her thigh. Slipping her hand into it slowly, Roy latched on and gave her fingers a tight squeeze. Slowly, he smoothed out her palm and ran his thumb over the marks her fingernails had made on her palm.
Regrettably, he had to remove it once the lights turned green, but it had been enough for the moment. It had calmed her. Letting out a breath, Riza tried her best to relax back into her seat and pay more attention to what Mia was saying.
Why Roy was called suddenly out of their home with Mia that evening was not discussed until they were alone in their bedroom. Mia had gone up to bed and once alone, Roy started to press, however Riza just shook her head and kept her mouth shut about the incident. She didn't know where it was safe yet and it terrified her.
We will be watching.
Was she still safe in her own home? Every shadow was a threat to her now, and a reminder. There was no way to escape light.
They went about their evening like normal, but Riza knew Roy was watching her. Every creak, though there were not many, made her jump and Roy noticed. After the first instance, he watched her even more closely. Trying to help, he waved away her attempts to try and clean up after dinner, but Riza needed to be busy. She needed a task, something to focus on. So, she'd taken Mia up to bed and lay with her for a while, listening to her daughter's deep and even breathing once she was asleep.
Journeying back downstairs she found Roy in their dining room, hunched over the table. He cursed, bringing his thumb to his mouth to suck on it. Shaking out his wrist, he hissed in pain as his other, uninjured hand, returned to what was on the surface, hidden from her view.
"What are you doing?"
Riza's head cocked to try and look around Roy, but he spun in place quickly, moving his body in front of it. A fake smile was plastered across his face, making him look pained rather than reassuring.
She lifted a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Nothing."
"You're a terrible liar."
"It's nothing, honestly –"
"Liar."
In mock hurt, Roy huffed, but still didn't move out of the way. Her curiosity only increased.
"It was supposed to be a surprise, but the generic picture frame has defeated me," he sighed, taking a step to the left.
Against the glass lay her certification, face down, and looking slightly crumpled thanks to her careless actions earlier in the evening.
"I figured putting it in the frame right away would smooth it out a little."
Reaching over, Roy slipped the back of the frame in place, but not secure, and flipped it over carefully. Inside a golden border lay her certification from the university.
"Congratulations, Riza."
As she stared down at it, tears threatening to collect in the corner of her eyes, Roy pressed a kiss to her temple as a hand rose to rest upon her shoulder.
"I… Thank you," she breathed, a slow smile spreading across her face as she turned to look at him. She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she took in the way his eyes crinkled with his joy.
"You're more than welcome. Let me just…" Quickly, the frame was flipped, and Roy secured the back in place. His actions were precise and careful, trying to avoid hurting himself on the sharp metal pieces that held the back of the frame in place.
It stood, without incident, proudly on her table. A culmination of all her work in the last six years. All on a simple piece of paper, presented properly in beautiful swirls of ink and shining gold leaf, printed with her name in the centre.
"There," Roy announced proudly. "Now you just need to decide where you want to hang it."
"On the wall?"
"Of course. It's being shown off somewhere," he added. "It's not going to be hidden away."
"What about next to your State Alchemist certification?"
Roy grimaced. "But that's in my office."
"Okay…" Riza didn't know where to put it.
"You'll need an office soon, won't you?" Roy's head cocked in thought. "You'll need somewhere to work from if you're a teacher. You're own space. Why don't we convert the storage space downstairs by the kitchen into one?"
"I can use the dining table," Riza reassured him. "There's more than enough room there."
"But if you're working, you'll need some peace and quiet from the kids, right? So you would be better with an office of your own."
"We'll see."
"You're just saying that because you don't want to cause trouble," he teased, a cheeky smile on his face.
"I am not," Riza grumped, but even she heard the poor lie.
Right now, she was in no state to be reorganising furniture and moving boxes that were in their storage space. If she was to get an office of her own, she would want to help with the conversion and not leave Roy to do it all by himself. In the same vein, luckily, they'd had the nursery set up for their new little one months ago. It had been an easy one. They just needed to get Mia's old crib back from Chris, where they'd stored it after it outgrew their old apartment. The walls were a seafoam green colour when they moved in and neither parent saw a need to change it. It had just been Mia's playroom initially, however once the news had broken that Riza was pregnant, it was quickly repurposed. Mia had barely even used it anyway, preferring to play in the living room with her parent's company.
"We'll leave it for now," Roy relented. "But give it a thought. I want you to have your own space. For now, we can hang it in the living room for all to see," he beamed.
Rolling her eyes, Riza still nodded and agreed with him. If it meant more to Roy than her, she wouldn't take it away from him.
"Thank you." Riza patted the hand on her shoulder gently.
"For what?"
"For that," she gestured towards the frame, "and for…"
The dread that had followed her earlier returned, unwelcome, as she remembered what had occurred that night. Her cheek stung for a second.
"For distracting me," she finally finished.
Understanding dawned on Roy, and he nodded, his expression grim. Riza realised that she hated herself for mentioning it, because gone was his happy and proud smile. In its place was a look that was both thoughtful and displeased. His eyes moved to her covered cheek.
"Any time for you, Riza. You know that," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Once in the safety of their bedroom, her safe haven, Riza bared herself to Roy, ready to reveal as much as she could about all that occurred that night. How she'd do it, Riza wasn't entirely sure, but she needed to. She couldn't leave him in the dark, and it would be important to the case he was building against them.
Roy was in bed already, observing her move around the room to gather what she needed to change. He didn't even try to hide his watchful gaze anymore. He'd been eyeing her closely, protectively, as she undressed and as much as it irritated Riza, she understood his reasons why.
As Riza shrugged out of her blouse, she heard Roy shift on the bed. It creaked as he stood up and Riza heard footsteps.
The shirt bunched around her wrists and Riza let it hang there. There was no escaping Roy seeing the marks now. They circled around her neck and wrists, a reminder of Selim's – or "Pride's" – message.
"Is this what happened tonight?" His voice was low and there was a hint of his anger bleeding through it. If she turned, Riza knew she'd see it in his eyes, so she didn't turn to look at him.
Their happy evening, the reveal of her framed certification, felt like a lifetime ago in that moment.
Nodding, Riza's head tipped to look down. Unseeing, her gaze settled on her stomach as her fringe framed her vision.
The fingers against her skin were impossibly gentle as they skimmed over the pink marks. They were fading but not quick enough. Riza swallowed. They were meant to last, to haunt her. A message in themselves.
"And the cheek too?"
Riza nodded again.
Roy's feet appeared in her view, toes hidden by her extended stomach. One of his hands lifted hers, gentle tugging the blouse off one wrist. He did the same with the other, tossing the shirt into the laundry pile. On the collar Riza spotted a dot of dried blood. The brown stood out alarmingly against the soft cream of the fabric. Walking behind her, he unclasped her bra and did the same thing. Riza shivered in the cool air of the room, but he quickly eased her pyjama top over her head, tugging it on and over her exposed skin. Smoothing it out made her shiver, but this one was welcome. His touch warmed her, a reminder that she was safe and at home.
Snaking her arms through the shirt, Riza finally glanced up at him. His smile was kind and gentle.
"Let's go to bed," he offered, grasping her hand tightly and giving it a squeeze.
As soon as her head hit the pillow Roy snuggled in as close as he could. Their heads were bent, both looking at her stomach as they rested together. Riza's hands covered her stomach protectively, joined by one of Roy's.
"Can you talk about it?"
Riza tensed. "I honestly don't know."
"Do you want to?" The hand on her stomach lifted to caress her cheekbone, the thumb running gently over the plaster covering it for good measure. It relaxed her tensed muscles somewhat.
She nodded. "Of course I do."
"Take all the time you need, Riza."
His eyes were understanding but there was a pain in them too. He wanted to help, to ease her suffering, but he didn't know how. Riza knew exactly how he felt, remembering just how hard it had been on her when Roy hadn't opened up about Ishval in the beginning, and the eventual fall out of it. Riza experienced a strong sense of déjà vu, knowing what she had to do, even if the thought did scare her.
Tell him we say hello and nothing else.
"I ran into Fuhrer Bradley tonight."
Roy's entire body froze. The hand on her cheek stilled and his eyes widened considerably. She could already see the anger forming as his gaze hardened. Muscles growing visibly taut, Riza thought he might jump out the bed any second.
"He was at the university with his family," Riza continued. She reached up, removing his hand from her face so she could entwine their fingers together, anchoring herself. It kept the fear of her encounter at bay. "I met Mrs. Bradley and their son, Selim. They told me to say hello," Riza swallowed.
"Did that bas –"
"Remember Scar?"
Roy's head cocked, bewildered at the sudden change in conversation. It startled him out of his angered thoughts, bringing him back to her, so Riza tapped her finger on his palm twice, hoping he'd get her signal.
"And how the Elric brothers went up against him?"
Slowly, Roy nodded. His expression changed as he listened intently.
"Friends of mine were also involved, Lucy and Iain. I met up with them this evening too," she lied.
If shadows were no longer safe and someone was 'watching' them, it was better to be safe than sorry.
"At the University?"
Riza shook her head. "I saw them on the way there. They're stationed out East still, but were in town, so it was nice to run into them. Mary still works at the university, though."
"Oh, the one with the dark hair… Obsessed with cats?"
Riza elbowed him gently but was glad he was playing along. Anything to ease the tension over them as she tried to get her message across.
"That's Ida. Married to Sugar. They have five, I think."
"If you like cats, you like cats," Roy shrugged.
"True. I wonder if Havoc has managed to get a cat yet. He was always indifferent towards our dog. I wonder if cats are more his thing?"
"Maybe. I'll ask next time I give him a call."
"It would be nice to send over some presents if he did get a furry friend," Riza added. "I think he said Oscar was a good name for a pet. Or Mike."
"He's as poor at naming things as you," Roy snorted.
"I didn't name our dog," Riza reminded him. "That was our daughter." Carefully, Riza edited herself so that she avoided their names so not to endanger the coded message.
"Okay, okay," Roy relented in surrender. "Point taken."
"Uri, your friend from the academy, was the worst from what I remember."
"Oh yeah, what did he call his dog again?" Roy's head cocked to the side as he pretended to cast his mind back.
"Nora," Riza smiled.
"Oh, that poor dog."
"He could at least have gone with something generic for a pet, like Charlie. But Uri wanted to call it after his grandmother."
"That's kind of sweet though, in a way," Roy reasoned.
"I think Lucy was planning to do the same as Uri, but… Imagine calling your dog Stirling. I would have a hard time calling after it at the dog park with a name like that."
Riza tapped her finger twice against his palm.
Chuckling, Roy nodded in agreement. "I hear you," he replied. "I'll be right back," he muttered distractedly, but Roy did lean over to kiss her cheek before leaving the bed and entering the bathroom.
"Okay." Riza cuddled into the warmth he'd left behind, waiting, and listening for his reaction.
"Oh…" She heard him murmur and Riza cringed. Now that he knew the truth, he may be even angrier than before. There was a pause, then the sound of Roy rummaging through a drawer, followed by a snap. A sound akin to a candle burning reached Riza, but quickly turned muted and disappeared.
In the doorway Roy stood, wide eyed, completely shocked. The light from their bathroom silhouetted his frame, but she saw the raw emotion on his face.
He looked terrified.
Riza offered him one nod, confirming his thoughts.
Turning the light out, he hurried over and jumped back into bed. Riza was drawn against him and she didn't protest now that he knew exactly who she'd had a run in with tonight.
A homunculus.
"I'm just glad you're okay," he whispered into her ear ever so quietly. His arms gave her a tight squeeze.
Riza clutched at him in return. "Me too."
"The marks will fade," he added, running a hand gently across her neck and then her wrist. "I'm sorry you have to bear them, though."
"It's not because of you."
He shot her a pained look.
"There's no way you get to blame this on yourself," Riza warned. "Don't you dare."
"It's hard not to," Roy admitted so quietly, his voice catching. Eyes dropped away from her, expression bitter at his inability to look out for her like they'd agreed to.
"It's nothing I will ever hold against you, Roy Mustang," Riza announced passionately, grasping his hand tightly in hers. It made him look up and meet her eyes sadly. "You didn't plan this. No one could have." She gave his hand another squeeze, more gently this time. "We'll just have to be more careful in future."
"You shouldn't have to be though."
Riza shook her head. "That's the world we live in right now."
"It's not the world I want."
"That's why we're working, right?" Offering him a reassuring smile, Riza curled up against him as best she could. Inhaling deeply, she took in the smell of him, of home. "I'm right here," she whispered.
It was quiet, then Roy shifted, readjusting his grip. "I know," he nodded, sounding defeated, but also relieved. "I know you are. I'm so thankful you are."
Wrapped as tightly in his arms as she was now, Riza wasn't going anywhere for the rest of the night, and that was okay with her.
