She's not the kind of girl
Who likes to tell the world
About the way she feels about herself
She takes a little time in making up her mind
She doesn't want to fight against the tide
And lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
Can't bear to face the truth
So sick he cannot move
And when it hurts he takes it out on you
And lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is to keep breathing x2
She knows the human heart
And how to read the stars
Now everything's about to fall apart
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is to keep breathing x7
By Garbage
Chapter3: The trick is to keep breathing
"What do you want, Dilandau?" Hitomi had spat out his name in disgust. A menacing grin came to his lips at the question. He took another powerful step forward so that he towered over the young woman. "Well? What is it? I don't have all day." her eyes narrowed as she placed her hands firmly on her hips, hoping to distract him from the fear she so clearly felt.
"Sure you do Hitomi." he answered, his eyes pierced through her. The crimson pools of his blood red eyes made her feel weak and inferior.
She had to stand her ground. She couldn't let him know just how terrified she actually felt. "Just answer the damn question!" Hitomi huffed, trying her best to sound annoyed.
"It's simple really." he began, "I am here to exact my revenge on you." his eyes narrowed, although it had been years since their last encounter, he knew she was the sole reason why he had lost everything. "I want nothing more than to watch you suffer as I have suffered. I want you to hear you beg for me to end your pathetic life."
Without thinking, Hitomi let out a chuckle. Oh that is rich! She thought to herself. If he only knew...
Dilandau felt his left eye twitch as he watched her burst into a fit of laughter. Did she not think he was serious? Did she not remember who he was? He was Dilandau Albatou! He was to be feared! Not to be laughed at! "What's so funny?" He demanded in a snarl.
"I'll save you the trouble." She stood proud, lifting her chin, "Go ahead and kill me now." Dilandau was taken back at her declaration. This did not fit into his grand revenge plan. He had spent the better part of the past year carefully plotting his every move. She wasn't supposed to be embracing death but rather fearing it. "Better yet," her voice pulled him from his thoughts, "I'll just go kill myself for you to save you the trouble."
His eyes searched her own, trying to figure out what had suddenly changed. "W-what?" he stuttered in disbelief.
"Now, if you don't mind," she brushed past him, "I have some self-pitying to do back home." With an air of confidence, Hitomi continued walking away from him and towards her home refusing to look back. He's not real, he's not real, he's not real, she repeated over and over in her mind. It became her mantra that was holding her together. As long as she could convince herself he wasn't really there, she would be safe.
As she reached into her pocket, pulling out her house keys, a firm hand grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the door. "Could you please just leave me alone!?" she shouted at him while she fumbled with her keys.
"You're not supposed to be like this." Dilandau growled. His plans, his glorious plans were all for naught! He had dreamed of their encounter and relished the fear he imagined she would feel. Oh all the terrible things he wanted to do to her. Now he was being denied his prize.
Hitomi spun around to face him. To say she looked less than pleased would be an understatement. Her normally calm and tranquil eyes burned with fury. She was angry and infuriated, something she hadn't felt in a long time. For a moment, she felt refreshed. It was oddly nice to not feel pitiful for once.
"You know, you're right. I'm not." she snapped at him. "I'm supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to be out having fun. But-" she stopped herself. What was the point in telling that psychotic pyromaniac her problems? He wouldn't care in the least bit.
"But what?" he queried. Of all the scenarios he had planned and anticipated for, this was not it. He had to know what he had missed, what had he failed to account for.
"Never mind, just leave me alone." She hastily unlocked the door and in a series of quick movements entered her home and quickly slammed the door shut on Dilandau's face. He stood there completely dumbfounded. His mind was still trying to process what had occurred. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed. He needed to know who had beat him to the punch; who had broken the witch from the Mystic Moon.
Hitomi locked the door behind her and darted up the stairs to retreat to the sanctuary of her bedroom. She shut the door behind her and fell backwards onto her bed. She could hear heart pounding loudly as the adrenaline pumped through her veins. She brought her hands up to her temples, rubbing them gently. She kept telling herself what just happened had to be a hallucination. She thought about the whole experience logically. There was no way he could be there on Earth, absolutely no way possible. Not to mention the fact he could drive a car with such perfection. And the way he was dressed, she thought to herself, he wasn't dressed in his normal red and black leather uniform. He had appeared to have traded that in for a well tailored black suit, complete with a red satin tie. I must be dreaming, she told herself.
She closed her eyes and began to take some deep calming breaths. She laid there, focusing on each breath she took, hoping it would lull her so she could drift into a peaceful sleep. As fate would have it, that simply wasn't in the cards for Hitomi.
"Oi, witch!" Dilandau called from her window. Hitomi scowled at the sound of his voice. "I demand you tell me right now who has already broken your spirit." He had scaled the side of her home with ease and had positioned himself to be sitting on her windowsill.
Hitomi sat upright, "Don't you have better things to do other than bother me?" she was beginning to lose her patience with him. Of all the people from Gaea to walk into my life why did it have to be him?! Her mind screamed.
"Answer me or-"
"Or what?!" She interrupted him. "You'll kill me? Alright, go ahead! Do your worst!" She was done with his pestering. She resisted the urge to get up and push him out the window herself.
Dilandau could feel his blood boil. She had literally ruined everything. All the time he had spent on planning his revenge seemed useless now. He could never get his plan to work. Unless, he thought, she knew his plan all along. She must have used her strange powers to predict his every move. He decided he needed to retreat for the time being. He would need to recoup and concoct a new devious plan. Without another word, he leapt out of the windowsill and departed. A slew of new diabolical plans had already begun to come to mind. You just wait witch…you're gonna wish you were dead after I'm done with you… a sinister grin came to his lips as he sped away in his car from the Kanzaki home.
The following Monday morning, Hitomi dragged her tired self to school. She had spent the better part of the previous day wallowing in her room. She wasn't completely convinced that her encounter with the diabolical Dilandau had actually occurred. She had spent the day convincing herself that it was just a hallucination. She had been longing to return to Gaea and her imagined encounter with him was just her subconscious telling her she could never return.
She sat in her homeroom class, only half paying attention to the morning lecture. She couldn't bring herself to focus long enough to take notes. However, she knew she could count on her friend Yui, who always managed to take detailed and organized notes. She would be sure to ask her later to borrow her notebook.
Hitomi instead found herself gazing out the window, her mind in a daze. Why couldn't it have been Van? She wondered. Even if the encounter did actually occur, she was still convinced it wasn't real, at least she would have slept peacefully. Van… I need you... she sighed quietly as she slumped forward on her desk. Can he even hear my prayers?
When the bell chimed for lunch, Hitomi let out a small yawn before reaching for her school bag. She sluggishly pulled out her bento box and made her way to the school roof. As she wasn't in the same class as her other friends, they had made the plan to meet there to break for lunch. It was usually less busy up there. Hitomi had found she didn't do so well in large crowds as much anymore. She found it to be overwhelming and too chaotic. Even the confines of her classroom at lunch was too much for her to handle at times.
When she arrived on the roof, she found a few of her friends already seated around a table in the far corner. Hitomi took a breath and put on a smile. As long as she appeared happy, no one would ask any questions. She had gotten very skilled at masking her feelings the span of a few months. Just breathe, she told herself over and over.
"Hey Hitomi-chan!" one of her friends, Ayaka, called out when she spotted Hitomi.
Hitomi made her way over towards the small group of girls, still donning her forced smile. Quietly she took a seat next to Ayaka and set about opening up her bento box. She casually listened in on her friends conversing about their exciting weekends. Ayaka, noting that Hitomi had been relatively silent, decided to bring her into the conversation, "So Hitomi-chan, what did you get up to on the weekend?"
Hitomi wasn't expecting to join in, she had been content with just listening. Luckily for her, she had just put a piece of grilled fish into her mouth. As she chewed, she tried to think of how to respond to the question. She couldn't exactly tell them about her hallucinated encounter with a certain blood-thirsty pyromaniac. That was a whole other can of worms she wasn't ready to open.
Feeling all their eyes on her, she had to come up with something quick. "I…I just hung around home." she half lied, "My cousins came to visit. Nothing all that special really." She looked around her small circle of friends, noticing that someone was missing. "Where's Yukari?" she inquired, desperate to get the attention off of herself.
One of her other friends, Suzume, looked down at her watch. Her brows knitted together as she observed the time. "Hmmm… she should have been here by now." she announced, "She's showing the new guy from our class around school."
Something in the back of Hitomi's mind told her to be on guard. She tried to shake off the nagging feeling and maintain her composure. It's probably nothing to worry about, she told herself.
"Hitomi!" Yukari had squealed in delight. Hitomi had found herself blinded as Yukari placed her hands over her eyes. She jolted slightly, not expecting her friend to sneak up on her. Although she knew she should have known better, as Yukari always had a tendency to pull such stunts on her.
"Oi! Yukari!" Hitomi shouted, still startled by the sudden intrusion. Yukari, smiled wide and proceeded to tickle her friend's sides. She knew it was one of the very few ways she could still get a genuine laugh out of Hitomi. Unlike the rest of their group of friends, Yukari was the only one who was most intune with Hitomi's feelings. She knew her friend was still suffering with the loss of her family. So she had vowed to bring her friend back.
"Yukari-chan, who was this guy you had to show around?" Yui asked.
Yukari took a seat in the empty chair next to Hitomi. "Ya, is he hot?" Ayaka asked with a suggestive wink. Yukari giggled as she took out her lunch, which was always a feast for the eyes.
"You'll just have to wait and see for yourselves." Yukari paused and looked towards the door to the stairwell. He had told her to go on ahead, that he would meet her up there. "Oh, speaking of which, there he is!" Her smile grew the closer he got.
"Oooo he is handsome! Yukari you were holding out!" Yui declared as she spotted the new boy.
Hitomi looked over her shoulder to see what all the fuss was about. She felt her jaw drop open at the very sight. Her emerald eyes widened in both shock and fear. "It wasn't a dream…" she muttered under breath. Yukari's eyes darted to her friend as she faintly picked up on her comment. A look of confusion formed on her face, an old acquaintance perhaps? She could only guess.
"Oh, you know him?" she inquired, hoping for more details.
A devious grin graced Dilandau's lips as he approached the group of girls. "Well, well, well," he spoke in a coy tone, "It's a pleasure to see you once again, Hi-to-mi." he put an emphasis on each syllable of her name.
Hitomi closed her eyes, standing up suddenly. "I've lost my appetite." she said in a quiet voice. She wasn't having it today, and she wasn't about to create a scene in front of her friends. She didn't even know where to begin with explaining how she knew him. The best thing she could do was to walk away.
"Leaving so soon, Hitomi? But I've only just gotten here." Dilandau queried, his lips still curled in a smirk. Hitomi refused to say another word. Instead she needed to just walk away from the situation. Yukari watched with great interest. How does Hitomi know him? Yukari wondered. Perhaps he was a secret ex-boyfriend. Her brows knitted together. She would get to the bottom of it, she vowed.
In the following days, Hitomi did everything she could to avoid any sort of run-ins with the silver haired demon. When she encountered him in the main entryway while changing her shoes, she made quick work to get away. While walking through the hallways, she would turn on a dime and bolt in the opposite direction upon laying her eyes on him. Even the sanctuary of lunchtime with her friends was not immune to his presence. Of all people, why is it him!? She demanded of the heavens. Anyone else would have been preferable, even Merle or Millerna would have been more tolerable.
Although she had been relatively successful in avoiding Dilandau for the sake of her mental well being, it had resulted in her avoiding her small circle of friends. This of course was all a part of Dilandau's new plot for revenge. He had been able to successfully infiltrate the moon witch's inner circle with much ease that it was almost laughable. He could see how his very presence, and the acceptance of her inner circle was driving her mad.
The icing on the cake, for Dilandau that is, was when one of Hitomi's friend's had begun to show and express a romantic interest in him. He didn't care for Ayaka in that sense, brushing her feelings aside, but he played his part. If pretending to show affection for the silly girl aided his goal, then so be it. He was willing to do whatever it took to drive a wedge between Hitomi and her friends.
At lunch on the following Friday, Yukari had met up with their friends in their usual spot. It felt wrong that Hitomi wasn't there, that her friend had been mysteriously evading them. Each day it was a different excuse. Plausible excuses, she reasoned, recalling Hitomi claiming she needed to cram before her next period class or wanting to get started on her homework. But she knew there was something more, something that Hitomi was desperately trying to hide.
"Yukari-chan, what's wrong?" Yui asked while waving her hand in front of Yukari's face, snapping her out of her daze. "You seem distracted." Yukari shook her head as she was pulled out of her train of thought.
"Oh…" she sat leaned backward in her seat, "Well… I'm just trying to figure out Hitomi…" she paused, trying to figure out her thoughts, "She's just seemed very adamant on avoiding Di-kun. Whenever I bring him up, she changes the subject instantly. I don't get it..."
"Oh…I see…" Yui responded. She hadn't been friends with Hitomi as long as Yukari had been, so she had been more oblivious. She pursed her lips, pondering on the new information she had been given. "Maybe…" she began, leaning forward on the table and gesturing for the other girls to do the same, "Maybe Hitomi secretly has a thing Dilandau."
Yukari raised an eyebrow and gestured for Yui to continue with her theory. "It's so obvious really. She's probably just afraid of getting into a relationship. Remember when Amano-senpai came back a few months ago and she just completely ignored him?" Yukari nodded and her friend continued. "She used to be all head over heels obsessed with him before he left. Now why on earth would she ignore him and act like he didn't even exist? The answer is she was afraid of losing him."
In a strange way it had made sense to Yukari. Ever since their senpai had left for America, Hitomi had become withdrawn, particularly in terms of romantic interests in months following his departure. Maybe it was just as simple as her friend being afraid of having her heart broken again. She could relate to Hitomi's predicament. She too had developed feelings for Amano, but she put her own feelings aside knowing full well how Hitomi felt. She wasn't going to let feelings for a boy ruin their years of friendship. Maybe she is just afraid of falling in love again…
"You know what Yui-chan, I think you might be right." A sly grin came to Yukari's lips. She needed to get Hitomi out of her romantic rut. A boy would be a good distraction for her. Her mind was already at work concocting a devious plan to get the two together. It was done all the time in tv dramas and movies, it couldn't be too difficult to pull off in real life, she had reasoned. A romantic distraction is just what her friend needed.
A/N: I am on a roll! I am loving this rewrite! Honestly it has been so much fun getting into the heads of all the characters. I regret rushing through this story when I originally wrote it. I've also been trying to be more culturally accurate. I didn't know at the time just how drastically different japanese schools were compared to typical schools in north america. So I've been making efforts to correct those errors. So this has also been an educational experience for me.
I hope you all enjoyed. Don't know when the next chapter will be ready. Maybe in a few days? *shrugs*
