Chapter 3: Parental Echo
January 10th. Around 5 PM.
(Osaka Castle Guards' Outpost. CO's Room.)
[Takahisa Koubuin]
"Rejected."
"May I ask why, Takahisa-sama?" Shirogane retorted, tensing his brows and looking rather upset.
"You are a key part of my flight. I cannot have you gone on such a short notice. We have many important trials against the soon-to-be adopted Kagerou, and I require your presence in them, Shirogane. That is all."
"Then…" He inhaled deeply for a moment, his lips moving in an odd manner. "If you won't allow me to take some time off, I suppose I should present a formal document requesting my detachment from the squadron?" His words almost generated a reaction in my face, for him to be this adamant in leaving his post.
"What are you saying?!" Kazora loudly said, rising from his seat. His turquoise eyes seething with venom, his tone mired by blazes. "You want to simply turn tail and leave, Shirogane?"
"My son needs me by his side. I have made myself clear enough. If I cannot get your approval for a small time off my duties… I suppose my stay here has come to an end."
"Pah… All you peasants are the same." My retainer folded his arms, driving his turquoise gaze into Shirogane, who didn't flinch. "You received much from the moment you were admitted here. How can you be so selfish when all you have now is thanks to the Royal Guard?"
"I understand that well, Col. Tsukuyomi. However, my personal situation is one that requires me to be by my son's side now. Please, I believe I am making myself clear on this matter."
Kazora and me both lowered our brows, Shirogane almost never is this court and stiff with us despite how much he's been reminded to use formal speech in my presence.
"Should you decide that I cannot return to his side while I am serving in the Guard, then I believe it best for me to simply leave. It wouldn't do Takahisa-sama any good to have a pilot whose mind is elsewhere during these trials, would you not agree Col. Tsukuyomi?"
"You speak the truth, however, you should be aware of your position in our ranks." Kazora continued while I brought a hand to my chin, carefully watching their exchange. "You are the sole commoner in the squadron's permanent members. This honor that has been bequeathed onto you is a rare one, and in these days we are in need of your abilities. Yet, you wish to abandon your position in such a hasty manner… I can't see this as anything other than treason." He again folded his arms, his tone severe as the swings of his blade. Shirogane, however, remained as collected as if he were receiving his customary morning briefing.
"It is regretful if you decide to see it as that. I will not back down, however. My son needs his father, so I shall be by his side."
"That is not for you to decide, 1st Lt. Shirogane." Kazora said.
"You also cannot reject my resignation from my post, Col. Tsukuyomi. See it as you will, I have notified you of my situation and of my plans."
"Hmph… Such insolence, it seems that training you was a waste of resources in the end." My retainer folded his arms again, scowling.
"Should I take your words as the formal answer, Colonel?" It is not rare for me to relay orders through both Tsukuyomi brothers at times. However, this is something I cannot do this time.
Shirogane is not such a serious person. He dislikes formal speech as much as I dislike Yohime getting inside a kitchen. I already asked about this matter, I know of his wife's condition. In spite of this, I cannot bestow him this favor. I need Shirogane by my side for the trials to come. We need to determine the new strength of the IJA, to further enhance the Zuikaku as needed. And he's one of my best men, the thought of losing him… If House Koubuin is the lone House that loses in these trials, our standing will suffer.
However, even if I can keep him here, I can see in his eyes that it will only make everything worse. Hmm… Whatever shall I do… I cannot turn a blind eye to my fellow's plea, yet I cannot allow him to go to his son's aid…
…A moment, why is it that I cannot do both? Hmm… Yes, what exactly prevents us from having Shirogane visit his son while also being here in time for the test battles? Logistics? I can have him use one of my personal trains, and it's not like I cannot deal with a few issues coming from letting him use it, for they're mine to command.
"Shirogane, am I correct to assume you do not wish to leave the Guard?"
"…I do not Takahisa-sama, but if left with no other choice, I will place my son's well-being first."
"So, were we to find a method that allowed you to be near your son, you would have no more reason to present these papers of resignation, am I correct?"
"Takahisa-sama, I am sure you know Shirogane's son is in Yokohama. We do not-"
"Tsukuyomi, our private trains are more than enough for this task, are they not?"
"My liege, we cannot let a commoner use them! Even less so for this matter. What would it say about you if word gets out you're using the House's resources for the private matters of a commoner?"
"A commoner that happens to be a core member of my squadron. My resources are mine to administer, and I deem Shirogane necessary for the following tests. Are you questioning my judgment by any chance, Tsukuyomi?"
"No, sir, I would never." He closed his eyes and bowed shortly.
"Then Shirogane, what do you say of this arrangement?"
"I mean… Ahem, is it alright, Koubuin-dono? I do not wish to bring trouble to you or the House." Sigh… It is strangely uncomfortable, hearing you being formal.
"I said it is fine, and so, fine it is. I do try to not delve into my fellow's private matters unless they come to me for advice, but I suggest you to focus on what shall come. I need you for the test that will come in only a matter of days, but allow me to cut to the chase. What will you do after your wife passes away?"
He did a good effort to conceal it, yet his lips curved unnaturally. An ever so slight tremble of his fists, happening with the hastiness of a humming bird's wing flaps. Shirogane is holding his facade well, but it is clear as daylight. If I fold my hand on this matter, I will lose a good fellow.
"…I cannot say what I'll do, not when my feelings have not been sorted out." Finally, his gaze receded from ours and retreated towards the ground.
"Hmph, what kind of man are you?" Kazora said, the sting of a scorpion in his tongue. "You are a father and a husband, you should already have an answer ready, Shirogane. It is most shameful to hear you display such weakness."
"…If that is what you think of me, I suppose there is no more reason for us to exchange words." Shirogane's gaze narrowed again, meeting my retainer's.
"Now, now, let us not be hasty." I extended a hand and direct a gaze at my retainer, so that he calms down before words that cannot be taken back are pronounced. "Shirogane, I wish for you to stay in my squadron. While the following months will be busy and you won't be able to visit your son as often as you'd like, I can look for someone trustworthy myself that can take care of him in your absence. Of course, I will keep your income in mind, but I can guarantee you he will be in good hands."
"Sir, I am grateful for this… However, this is a personal matter. Col. Tsukuyomi is right, I do not deserve this deference."
"The one who decides whether you do or not is me. I am the Head of the House and your superior. I have decided that your services as a permanent member of my squadron are required as of now, and I would like you to start seeing yourself as a permanent vassal of my House. I know some of your fellows here do hold… some conflicting views towards you, but you are one of us nonetheless. And as your lord, it is my responsibility to assist you in your hour of need. What would it say about me as a Head of a Regent House if I treated you as nothing but an expendable piece?"
"Even so, looking for a caretaker is something I should do. And I wish to be by his side, I-"
"Then, all you need is someone who can properly take care of your son, someone who will put your mind at ease. Then, you won't have to leave your post."
"However, that isn't the only problem…" His gaze lowers and sinks, filled to the brim with the depths of a trench.
I suppose he worries that, after his death, his son will be sent to a certain type of orphanage. If we are called to fight, that might as well be the case.
…The code would normally bind my hands. We should not show favoritism towards any of our fellows. Yet, I cannot help but to sympathize with his plight. He does not know of it, and yet, his worry for a son that will be left alone is similar to mine towards Meiya. Were I to die, Yuuhi would become the next head. I already made that clear and wrote my will in advance for it to be a reality. And yet… If I die, only Raiden will be left to look over her. And he also has not much time left. Furthermore, Meiya will be fated to forever live in isolation as a pawn of the Shogunate, forced to be a body double for Yuuhi, stripped of any freedom or joys. I am the only one that can lift the accursed brand I put above her head the second she was born.
Going as far as he can for the sake of his heir, disregarding social norms without missing a heartbeat. I wonder, could I do the same for Meiya? To give her something for herself, something besides living in the shadows? It is a mystery to me, how could my ancestors cut away their sons and daughters with such ease? Or, perhaps, I am the one in the wrong? Am I giving my heart too much importance?
And yet… I cannot help but envy your freedom, Shirogane. Family customs notwithstanding, I sent Meiya away despite Yohime's pleading. If you have taught me something, is that there is always a solution where you least expect it to be. Your peculiar maneuvering has proved vital in many of our mock battles after all, and your honest and forward demeanor, despite being coarse at times, has made me realize how many foul adulators used to surround me in my inner circles.
So… This conundrum feels less like aiding him with these problems, and more like Shirogane is but fate's mirror showing me the inner, uglier side of myself. That side I wished to seclude deep inside my mind, the cold side that doomed one of my daughters to live trapped in a cage.
"…Shirogane, allow me to say this." He looks up, I entwine my fingers slowly, inhaling as a weight comes off my shoulders, giving me a so foreign feeling of stillness. "If you were to die in the field, I will do what is in my power to make sure your son doesn't fall in the wrong hands. I assure you of this."
"Takahisa-sama, what are you saying?!" Kazora's eyes were widening, the trembling of a leaf as a ladybug lands on it present in his tone for but a moment. "You should not show such gestures to anyone. More so to someone who is but a recruit, someone from a family without a history of service to our house. What would be said about you if-"
"In the worst case scenario I am describing, Shirogane would have served me well, up until his death. That would give me enough reason to look after his descendant, as the heir of a fellow of mine."
"Well, that is true, however-" I again interrupt Tsukuyomi, narrowing my eyes and taking a slower, clashing tone similar to my blade strikes, making him take a step back.
"And must I remind you that Shirogane is a permanent member of my squadron, something I myself have decided. To oppose this would mean to oppose me directly. I am sure you are not doing that, Tsukuyomi." He nods slowly, gaze repositioned upon the floor. I lean back on my seat, smiling again and dulling my edge. "If I recall correctly, Saionji-sama is always insisting on keeping one's most trusted fellows close. I am just following the Shogun's advice, if anyone ever poses a question towards my actions."
"But my liege, he's but a peas-"
"His status matters not. He is one of us, Tsukuyomi. So Shirogane, you can rest assured. Do give me some time to find someone worth your trust to take care of your son."
"Um… Takahisa-sama, I am thankful for your worry. But I believe-"
"Do you happen to know of someone better than me to take care of this matter?" I say, leaning forward. Unlike Tsukuyomi, however, Shirogane shows no taint of apprehension or fear in him. Only his gaze lowers, and with the same worry I once saw in mine as I left Meiya to her luck.
"No, however, my son needs me by his side. What would it say about me as a father to abandon my son in this way?" His words cut a gash deeper than any blade ever could. A vile taste spreads on my mouth, I close my eyes and take a moment to inhale through my nose.
"And he also needs you working. If I allowed you to leave, people will look at you like Tsukuyomi said they would. Even if I tried to clarify the matter, people will say you're a traitor, especially in this climate we're living."
Many are the ones who do not like the adoption of the F-15, even more within the Guard at the prospect of it becoming the successor to the Zuikaku as well. I myself am not entirely pleased, but one must be aware of one's own limits and shortcomings. Sadly, this schism won't be going away any time soon, not while American troops remain stationed in the Empire. As much as I'd like to support our domestic frame, I must avoid furthering the tensions. And to that end, I need to maintain my position while I continue to provide results. And to make results continue to appear, I need all of my fellows in top condition. So, I cannot simply let this rest.
"While it seems you see this as a black or white choice there are many options available to you, Shirogane. You do not have to choose between remaining on the Guard or protecting your son."
"…May I ask why are you willing to go so far for me, Takahisa-sama?" He lowered his head slightly as he asked the query. I place a leg over another, a strange shiver spawning on my neck at his forced manners.
"I said so before, you're a fellow of mine. I require your services, and, as your superior and lord, I cannot turn a blind eye to your hardships. I would suggest bringing your son back to Osaka, but it seems he has found good fellows in Hiiragi. As such, I again ask you to rest easy. I will find someone that can watch over your son while you continue to work here. I suppose, you do not have any other reasons to wish to leave your post, am I right?" I ask the sole doubt that could be claimed against him, yet I see no wavering nor ripples in his eyes as he returns my gaze. The honest, frontal Shirogane has never been found lying, not even once. And that is one of the reasons I cannot lose you, my fellow.
"Of course not, sir. I am truly thankful for all you've done for me since I arrived, and for even considering inducting me in the first place."
"I see. Then, please do return to your room for the day. We can have another talk at large tomorrow. Tsukuyomi, please go look for the number of the child care services."
"Takahisa-sama, are you serious?"
"Did I stutter, perhaps?" I narrow my eyes, Kazora gulps, shakes his head and then gives me a small bow.
"Um… So…" Shirogane rose a single brow, folding his arms. "Regardless of who you send now, will you truly… look after Takeru if I do die in battle?" His words were as heavy as Mt. Fuji, it seems it took a severe effort for him to ask that.
"Yes, I assure you of that. As your lord, I will extend a hand towards your son. Of course, there is little we can do once he's taken to an orphanage, however I'll make sure we can have a talk with him before that happens. You're one of us, Shirogane. And it is my duty and obligation to look after my fellows as the Head of the Koubuin House. Worry not, your son will be safe." Again, the facade almost broke off. He bowed to me, stiffness permeating his whole body.
"…Thank you, Takahisa-sama. I… I don't know what to say…"
"It is alright, you may rise. You've been through many a great hardships these days, return to your room for now. We shall continue this conversation tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. And again, thank you very much. I swear I'll redouble my efforts from now on, Takahisa-sama." He bows deeply to us again, and then goes his way out of my office.
I sigh, content to have seen Shirogane honestly relaxing into his usual posture before he left. I lean back on my seat looking at my retainer, whose face twisted around into a frown.
"…What do you wish to say, Tsukuyomi?"
"Takahisa-sama, you cannot do this."
"And why would that be?" I close my eyes, resting my interlocked hands on my chest.
"First, Shirogane is still not a fellow of us. He's but an inductee, regardless of his position in your squadron." Sigh… His efforts have earned him that honor, why does everybody opposes him so strongly? It cannot be only because of his manners. "Second, to involve yourself this deeply into his private matters is not a wise move. Would you do the same for the rest of your fellows?"
"If I recall correctly, we have given many loans to the Fudai and Tozama families that serve directly under us so that their endeavors could bear fruit. Some of their heirs are now part of my squadron as well, others serve us in other areas beyond military matters. I believe this situation is actually a rather simple showing of appreciation towards Shirogane compared to what we've done for others in the past." Kazora's eyes narrow, his head slowly shaking from left to right.
"Those families proved themselves trustworthy after generations of serving. Even those who rose from the peasantry were tested before such gestures were given to them."
"And I've tested Shirogane's character many times already. He keeps almost no money for himself, he sends most of it to his family. He has no desire to leave, he is merely stricken with worry for his son. And he has never asked for any preferential treatment or any reward for his services, not even once. And let's not forget that he has maintained a composed behavior since he arrived despite all the unplesantry that is said behind his back. I believe he is to be trusted." I met Kazora's gaze with the serenity of a pond's surface. He closes his eyes for a moment, grasping his chin and running his fingers over his beard softly.
"And my last concern is…" He starts, then looks upwards towards nowhere. "I believe Shirogane is right. His son needs his father, especially so at a time like this."
"…Oh, I see. And, pray tell, why is that?"
"They're peasants, Takahisa-sama. Their families mean the world for them, probably more than what the Emperor or the Shogun mean in their hearts. No caretaker will ever replace the gaze of a father, the warmth of a mother. And furthermore, to claim you'll look over the child after his father's passing… is the same as saying you'll put him under your care, my liege."
"And whatever is the problem with that? We look after the heirs of our fellows all the time. Did we not send a personal teacher to the Tamase House not so long ago to help the little one in her kendo lessons?"
"Yes, that has been done as you commanded. However, Shirogane isn't a noble. The weight of the other's looks will surely make the child's life here undoubtedly hard. The freedom he will lose, the hardships he hasn't been prepared for that he'd have to face…"
Kazora sighs heavily, his gaze dropping with the intensity of an Orbital Dive.
"I do not believe the child deserves any further troubles, not after what he's going through as of now. Leaving him in the freedom of the peasantry is what would do him better. The boy will crumble under the pressure of the expectations he'd have to meet, maybe even start to resent us for forcing him to lead such a life."
He takes a pause, I remain as calm as always. He clears his throat, placing both hands behind his back.
"You should know it well, Takahisa-sama. Commoners have freedoms we cannot enjoy. And to take that away from the little boy… The ways of life of peasants and nobles should not mix, each of us has a way to serve, a way to live unique to our standing. While you can act to make sure the boy doesn't get sent to a cruel place if his father were to die, I believe he would live a happier life alongside his commoner fellows."
"…Your personal experiences wouldn't be hampering your judgment, would they Tsukuyomi?"
"Of course not, my liege."
"I see. And, may I ask why did you not speak in this way with Shirogane? I may be the Head now, but you're still my retainer. I would have welcomed this honesty as opposed to the hostility you displayed during our talk." I move my fringe away from my eyes as I look at him well. He averted his gaze after a moment.
"…I believe we nobles must remain steadfast and stoic, never to waver in front of our fellows. We are those who embody the soul of the Empire, we cannot show cracks."
"Showing emotion doesn't make you weaker, Tsukuyomi."
"I stand by my words, my liege. And even so, you cannot allow yourself to send a caretaker to his home. If such an arrangement were to be tracked, some of our rivals might use that intel against you."
"Sigh… So, what you're saying is, I have to send someone nobody can track? Hmm… Thanks for the suggestion, Tsukuyomi."
"No, Takahisa-sama. It wasn't a-"
"Now then, in that case, that means we need to find a way to aid this little boy without anyone detecting our moves."
"Takahisa-sama, please listen. We shouldn't-"
"Which means, we need to send someone we know won't divulge this intel, someone of our inner circles. Hmm… I can't just send someone I already have employed in another project, however. Tsukuyomi, do you have any further suggestions?"
"I am not going to dissuade you from this, will I?" He says, placing a hand in his forehead, rubbing it in circles.
"Did you not say just now that we nobles should not waver?" I smile, leaning into one of my palms.
"That is not what I meant. Sigh… I believe Yohime-sama would know better, since she watches over the Main House and all of the vassals there alongside the Grand Chamberlain."
"Yes, a good idea. Alright, I shall discuss it with her tonight. By the way, has Bazora sent his report already?"
"Not yet. I believe the meeting with our fellows has not yet ended."
"I see… Well, little we can do. Let us go check up on our crew. It is rare for me to have free time, after all." I get up, making my way towards the door. "Oh, that's right. Is the train in working condition, Tsukuyomi?"
"…Yes, if you require it. Where do you wish to go, Takahisa-sama?"
"To pay Raiden a visit." Kazora's turquoise eyes filled with ripples, his face blooming with wrinkles similarly to when we spar in the dojo.
"Sir, there were no reports coming from Raiden. There is no need to-"
"I wish to visit him. Is there a problem with that, perchance?" I cut his words as if I were using my blade, he stands in attention and bows.
"No, my liege. Shall I order the train to be prepared?"
"Yes, I wish to depart after dinner. I do need to speak with Yohime about this little matter as well. Let us go."
I open the door and walk out, towards the different offices in my care. It is so rare, for me to have a bit of free time. I almost always get reports from both Tsukuyomis, so I rarely see the state of things in the castle and my house with my own eyes. This should be a fun end to the afternoon.
Same Day. 09:51 PM.
(Raiden's House. Living Room.)
"Welcome, Takahisa-sama. What can I do for you?"
"Please, Uncle. Nobody is here to spy on us." Raiden stops bowing and smiles, holding a chuckle.
"I see… So, what has brought you here today? I believe I have relayed all of my reports through Tsukuyomi."
"Yes, and they have reached me. And I am pleasantly astonished at the result of your endeavors. However, today I am not here to discuss business. I have come to you for another matter. Let us have some tea, we need to talk."
We both go to the table, where a warm kettle was waiting already. He pours the tea into our cups, and as he sits I drink a bit. Looking around, I see what Meiya calls home. A house with very few windows, filled with our classical decorations and furniture, but surrounded by tall walls on the outside. Unlike Yuuhi, who sometimes accompanies us to our travels, Meiya has never set foot outside these walls. This small house is her whole world…
"So Takahisa, what is the matter?"
"How is your health, Uncle?"
"Haha, I am as sane as a young horse. Banish all worry in you, Takahisa." He puffs his chest, laughing a bit.
"Yet, you're not the one tending to the house anymore."
"Well… Being alone is harder than I thought." He says, with the longing of a buried seed for spring to come. We drink some more tea, us both directing a gaze at a drawing of his late bride, the original heir of the Mitsurugi House.
Raiden Koubuin, my father's younger brother, was forced to give up his last name to avoid any succession discussions by his father, my late grandfather. Luckily, he and Father were always in good terms. Unlike me and my late brother.
"If I may, what do you say of letting someone watch over Meiya's learning from time to time?"
"Hey, pampering Meiya is my last joy. Don't you dare to take that from me, Takahisa." He smiles as he reaches for his cup once more.
"Hahaha, I wouldn't dare to do such a thing. I merely think you need some aid, that is all. By the by, how has Meiya been?"
"…There is nothing to say, nothing ever happens here." His tone somber, like the shadows of a full moon night. "She sometimes asks what lies beyond the walls, but those questions are becoming more rare and distant with each passing day. I believe she might be coming to realize she is never setting foot outside of the house."
"I see… What of the teachers you assigned to her?"
"All of them are under secrecy, do not worry. She's progressing as well as she should. Though, I can't say I enjoy her listless gaze towards the sky at night." He then drinks slowly, extending the silence in the house.
"…Say Uncle, what do you say of having one of the younger Tsukuyomi come here as a retainer to Meiya?"
"Huh? Takahisa… Are you serious? This is a taboo, a twin must never be recognized in the Koubuin Family."
"I am the Head, and I am the law in the House."
"Your cousins won't agree with you, you risk getting into an argument with them. It may fracture the House's unity."
"If they were in my position, I am convinced they would agree. And I am not saying I'll allow Meiya to return to the House." Not for now, at the least. "However, it is clear you are in need of a helping hand. And what better person than one of the Tsukuyomi?" Uncle closes his eyes, stroking his beard. For a moment he ponders in silence, I drink some more tea as I await his answer.
"Hmm… However, our fellows won't take this kindly. They will ask where you sent the one you choose. I am glad to hear you worry so about Meiya, but you should ponder this once more."
"If you say so, that I shall do. In any case, my orders are absolute. And I can keep this arrangement as a secret mission of sorts." In the same way I'll need to keep Shirogane's situation. I finish my tea, relaxing for a moment. "Well then… Before I leave, may I ask a troublesome favor out of you?"
Uncle's brows lower slowly, taking a moment to delve into my gaze. After folding the inquisitive stare, he nods. I take a second to inhale and fill my lungs, to relax the cicadas in my knees, to banish the snakes circling in my neck.
"Can you take me to her room?"
"…Are you sure of this? What if she wakes up?"
"It is past the 2200 hours, I doubt she'd awaken this late in the night."
"You do realize the damage it'd do to her to see you, even if only for a moment? How will I explain this to her? She's still to young to learn of her banishment."
"…Then, we only need to carefully survey her room. If she's sleeping soundly, would you allow me to see her?"
Uncle again stares at me, a silent barrage coming from within his eyes at me. Again, we remain in silence with only the tickling of a distant clock tainting the calm night.
"…Very well. However, I'll enter her room first. There's next to no light there, so you won't be able to see her well. Is that alright?" I nod.
"Shall we?" I stand up. Uncle Raiden sighs with a smile as bitter as the gash in my heart, then he guides me to a set of stairs in the farthest side of the house. Stairs that take one to the basement.
Descending the long set of stairs, at the end of it a steel door awaited us. A door resembling those found in prisons, with a small rectangle at the top to see further into the room. Uncle unlocks it and opens the door, we walk into the large room with the serenity of a feline.
What first greets my view as the dim light was turned on was something that resembled a living room. A book shelf, a small table with four small chairs, a sofa, a fridge further in, lodged in a corner. A table with a Shogi board and pieces lined up and ready for a game, a few paintings on the wall, a music box… A rather well decorated room in extravagant blue as Uncle likes his decorations, as in the rest of the house.
"That door to the left is the way to her room." Uncle guides me, opening another of those bulky steel doors.
A long, dark hallway extends forward. Grey walls and floor, just a few dim, muffled lights on the ceiling shine our way. A smaller, normal door was at the end.
Uncle unlocks it and brings a finger to his lips. He carefully opens the door, as carefully as if he were practicing his calligraphy. A moment of loneliness assaults me as he entered Meiya's personal chamber.
After so long, after so many years… I'll see her features once more. I have no right to feel these cuts all over me, in my chest, my neck, my palms. It's as if I could feel a subtle pulse of electricity all through me. The daughter I banished is only a few meters forward…
Uncle comes out and signals me to enter. I gulp and exhale, a heaviness in my boots far more severe than the few times His Highness has called for me to a private meeting. I delay my entrance by a second, closing my eyes and recalling what she once was all those nights ago. One deep breath later, my feet trespassed the veil that my heart was still doubting to pierce.
I slowly step into the room, lighted only by the dim shine from the hallway. I couldn't make out my surroundings at first. The room was mostly empty. A smaller bookshelf, a wardrobe and a bed, and a small wooden table with a lamp near the it.
And within the darkened sheets… A figure slept peacefully.
Imitating the speed of falling snow, I approached her side. A small face rested one of it's sides against a pillow, her hair loose and a bit messy.
I crouched, and with the hesitation I once had when I raised my blade to the BETA in my first simulation, feeling as if my fingers had been tied one to another, I eventually reached her hair. And stroking it softly, my lips betrayed my mind.
"…Meiya." Nothing but a whisper. What if not my melting heart.
The small shape stirred softly in the bed, welcoming the kindness atop her head. So peaceful and serene, just like a calm night in new moon. Despite the low light in the room, I could somehow make out her features. She truly is similar to Yuuhi… However, something was different in her resting complexion. Yuuhi tends to sleep with a faint calmness. Meiya on the contrary was clutching her sheets close to her chest, as if she were afraid of the shadows that surrounded her.
Terrified of the solitude that awaits her every time she enters her own room, at the prospect that perhaps no one will open the steel door in the hallway. Terrified of being abandoned within the darkness.
…Why did I wish to see her? A blade hits my arms as I release her head.
If I had the power, what would I do for her? The blade now hits my abdomen.
Were it possible… Would I set her free? The edge pierces through, reaching my heart.
When a child needs it, a parent should be there. Shirogane didn't doubt, not even in front of me, the Head of a Regent House… If he is able to display such bravery, despite his heart being so gravely wounded… What it is that generates this fear in me? Why did I let some old prejudice tear me apart from my daughter?
I stand up, moving like a leaf on a stream away from Meiya, away from my daughter without knowing when it is that I'll see her again, away from that lonely shape and towards the door.
"Uncle, do you truly think it impossible to break this taboo?" I ask as he closed the door, locking Meiya away from me.
He says nothing, and so, we walk through the hallway.
"…You would need to perform a feat that is valued by the Shogun, a feat that gives the House a great benefit or honor." He said in the middle of the way. "Only through it your relatives will bow down to your wishes. That is our way of life, honor and standing is what makes you a Head, a leader. Should you desire more power, more influence… Then you must elevate the House to further heights."
"…Forgive the inquiry, it was most foolish of me." I reply, the stillness replaced by a new, slowly surging heat in my chest.
We leave the hallway and climb the stairs once more. Before I took my leave, however…
"Uncle, do take good care of Meiya."
"You don't need to tell me that, Takahisa. And don't worry about me, I don't need a retainer here. My attendants are enough."
"That might be so, but still, they're close to being admitted into the Guard. Furthermore… I believe it will do good to Meiya to get acquainted with our teachings."
"…Are you determined to release her from the taboo?"
"Yes, I am. Look after her until I gather enough feats to my name, Uncle. I swear to you now, Meiya will one day return to her rightful place. I will correct mine own mistake myself. Until then… I will keep counting on you."
"I see… I hope you are aware of the consequences that await you should your cousins reject her return."
"…No one will be able to speak of it. I do have an idea on how I can perform a feat no one has managed to claim."
"…And what is this feat, Takahisa?"
"Forcing the UN to recognize the might of the Imperial Army. If I bestow victory to them, if I bring glory to our nation through a successful international mission… Who would dare to speak against my wishes?"
"While that is true, am I sure you know what you would have to fight against. The missions the UN will ask of you as a Head… they won't be something to scoff at. You will be sent to the frontlines, probably as a Vanguard."
"I am no amateur, I already had a small tour thanks to those meddling Americans. Fear not, Uncle. Our endeavors will soon bear fruit. Believe in my words, for I am not one to lie."
"That I know well." He smiles again, faintly so. "I wish you good luck, Takahisa. Until we meet again." He bows slightly to me as I take step outside of the gate.
"Yes… Until next time, Uncle. Take care."
