Ties That Bind
Chapter 74
Out of the Darkness
Author's Note: Hi everyone getting one step closer, next week will be the last chapter of Ties that Bind and I would just like to say once more thank you so much to everyone who has taken this long journey with me. I loved reading all your reviews both the positive and the negative and seeing where this journey has gone from the beginning where mostly the reviews spoke of how much Serena needed to get away from Darien, up until now when most have turned to asking for them to be together. I hope you have enjoyed the story as I said originally it is a very complicated story and I felt it needed to be long to make the characters and emotions feel more real, but thank you for all your support and I hope you enjoy the story as I have enjoyed writing it for you. As always please continue to send your thoughts and reviews. Thanks Mars Light
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon never did, never will thank you!
Serena tossed around left and then right on the bed trying to break free of the strong bonds holding her down, she could feel every whip, every cut against her arms and legs, while being held down on the bed with no way to break free while the bonds steadily tightened each time she struggled more as she cried out painfully "please let me go"
She turned her head slightly aa a tear drifted down from eye watching while Christopher lowered his robe down to the ground as he walked up closer to the bed beside her with a sinister grin, then placed his hand down onto her stomach telling her with a great deal of pleasure "I am going to enjoy this" as she felt a shutter run through her watching him lift up the metal object in front of her with the deep sharp edges.
She tried to pull away to break free from the torment she was in, but the more she tried it only made things worse and felt the bonds growing tighter around her wrists and ankles, as she struggled to move away, but it was too late.
She closed her eyes tightly and could feel the excruciating pain of every cut against her skin with her flesh being ripped apart when the sound of his victorious laughter echoed throughout the room. She screamed from the endless torment and cried out loudly "let me go" as she continued her struggle, but then the sounds changed and the voices grew louder and it was no longer only Christopher's voice she heard.
She opened her eyes up wide to see Constance was now with him too, standing over her as she laughed heartily telling her "you have your orders and you must obey him, now do as your told and die painfully" as she lifted up a knife from behind her back.
Serena woke up with a jerk instantly, sitting up in bed breathing heavily, as she lifted her hands up in front of her looking down seeing they were no longer tied to the bed posts as she placed her hand over her chest feeling that she was still left in one piece, while taking in another deep breath knowing it was just another bad dream she had, one of many.
She slowly stood up from the bed looking fearfully in all the dark corners of the room and let out a slow breath seeing she was still left alone in the space, but knowing like the other restless nights she has had she would get no further sleep this night.
She walked over by her mirror and raised the long nightgown she wore, one of the many new ones that he had purchased for her to wear that left everything to the imagination with the high necklines and long sleeves that covered her well as she let out a long sigh and raised the nightgown up over her breasts needing to see for herself once more that there were no new scars, it was all in her head, the only the scars still remaining were the ones that caused these endless nightmares to begin with.
She ran her hand over one of the darker marks on her breast and could see the indentations were not as pronounce as they once were and the lashings that were covering her body had begun to heal over the past few days, but to her they were still very real and she could still feel every whip, every slash, and every burn against her skin.
She lowered her nightgown back down until the hem reached her ankles and looked back at herself on what she saw, on the outside was just a regular girl, but the pains of her past made it further from the truth and finding what was left of the girl she once was, impossible and with each passing day the nightmares were steadily growing worse.
She knew her thoughts and memories were still heavily damaged and she couldn't close her eyes without seeing their faces or hearing angry voices in her head , but her body was still healing on the outside and she could now walk steadily on her own two feet, which meant he soon would be expecting her to leave this place possibly forever, and that she would be leaving the one place she could call home.
She saw the desperation in her own eyes looking back at her and turned away from the mirror shaking her head with the person looking back at her in her own reflection was no longer the vision she wanted to see of herself and let out a long sigh knowing that she was not what he wanted any longer.
She walked over by the window and looked out seeing the early morning sun was beginning to rise up in the sky, only was surprised to see she was not the only one up at this early hour and off in the distance she saw him out there in the exercise yard giving Midnight a run.
She sat down in the window sill watching yearning to be out there with him again, feeling the wind blowing through her hair while Midnights mighty hooves echoed under the tree branches, but this was the closest she let herself come to him, after purposely avoiding being around him over the past few days.
She saw him stop his ride and look up to the window she was looking out of, then quickly turned herself away against the wall so he would not see her starring at him and took a deep breath in telling herself the same excuse over and over for keeping her distance, because once she did see him again he would be telling her it was time for her to move on and she wasn't ready to go, not yet.
She turned back around to take one more subtle peak of him through the open window feeling safer with just his presence alone, but her face quickly dropped seeing he was no longer alone with Mina walking across the field to be with him and knew in her heart, the real reason she kept her distance from him was because she couldn't stomach seeing him with her.
Darien gently patted Midnight as he dismounted his horse and slowly walked him over to the stable, then looked up to the window once again knowing she was close by, but keeping a safe distance apart, which was why he did not sleep well again these last few nights after yearning to be with her as he took a deep breath in, knowing things were not progressing the way he had expected.
He had hoped that in time, she would warm up to him and they could go back to the same patterns of eating their meals together and he could get her to open up and have a conversation to pass the time, but instead she chose to stay far away from him keeping herself locked up in that room all day, rather than just face him as he took a deep breath in not sure what to do next.
He didn't want her to be unhappy with him, but the thought of letting her go again was not something, he could handle either when his thoughts were distracted with Mina walking up with a gentle smile telling him "I thought I might find you out here"
Darien looked to her glad of the distraction she came with as he commented back "yes I decided to go for an early morning ride, but what brings you awake at this early hour"
Mina shrugged her shoulders back with a coy smile telling him "I stayed up to see the sunrise this morning, it's a beautiful day is it not?"
Darien looked to her curiously seeing an extra glow to her cheeks this morning as he had seen Serena have many times when they would stay up all night together and he held her close to him as they would watch the sunrise together through his open bedroom window and nodded his head telling her "indeed it is, but you decided to watch the sunrise alone this morning?"
Mina bit down on her lower lip nervously that he knew more than he spoke of telling him back "well I wasn't exactly alone you see" as she opened up her palm revealing the reason she came out here telling him with a small grin "here Andy gave this to me, he asked me to give this to you he said you would know what to do with it"
Darien reached down and picked up the silver broach from her hand recognizing it immediately as the same one that he had given to Serena what seemed so long ago now as he looked to her questioning "Andy gave it to you this morning huh?"
Mina nodded her head nervously unsure what he would say, knowing that she spent her early waking hours with Andy this morning as she replied back "yes he did, he said he found it at the village on an errand you sent him on"
Darien looked to her with a simple nod of his head understanding exactly where he got it from as he crossed his arms over his chest while holding the broach tightly in hand telling her "thank you let him know I know exactly what to do with it"
Mina nodded her head clearly pleased to see he did not seem angry at all with the interlude she and Andy shared this morning as she replied back "I will" and then turned to walk quickly back to the manor when Darien called out to her "one more thing"
She turned back around hesitantly knowing it was too good to be true as she asked him nervously "yes?" Darien looked to her with a small smile of his own telling her "let Andy know he has a very good judge in character" as he took Midnights reigns and walked him straight past Mina towards the stables as she stood there blushing from his words.
Serena sat alone in her room for most of the day again holding a book in her hands, she let out a deep sigh waiting for his distraction to come, which it never came and caused her to read the same words over and over again in her book, but all she was reading to herself was words on a page, being unable to vision herself anywhere, but here or become lost in a world that was not her own, instead she kept herself cooped up in this room that was not her own for most of the days that passed, alone.
She let out a small sigh and looked out the bedroom window seeing the clear blue sky above and knew she couldn't continue to hide up here day after day, especially not after Constance had left her trapped up in her old room for several days with no contact from anyone, leaving her feeling trapped within her own memories and whether she liked it or not she knew sooner or later she would have to face him again and in doing so would accept whatever fate had in store for her, with him choosing between herself and Mina, and she already knew whom he would chose.
She placed the book down with a heavy sigh and stood up from her bed, crossing the room over to her bureau and opened the doors seeing all the multitude of new gowns hanging for her to wear, they were all elegant and made of the finest cloth with long hems and higher cut necklines then she was use to and she didn't feel comfortable wearing any of them.
Instead she ended up choosing the one item that felt like her own to wear, her old satin robe and tied it around herself as she walked over to the mirror and saw the reflection looking back at her to most others they would see a beautiful girl with a few dark blemishes, but to her she only saw within herself all the dark and horrible bruises covering her skin, marking every spot that was used and desegrated by another.
She let out a deep sigh knowing no matter what she did with her hair, or how many new dresses she tried on that were purchased for her to wear, they were only a shallow covering for a time of what lay underneath, and there was no use hiding away her flaws and what had been done to her by another any longer.
She wrapped her robe around herself tighter feeling a chill run down her back and walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind her.
She followed the desolate halls down of what once was a forbidden wing to her, which now she was the only sole inhabit of, while knowing most of the others in the main part of the house were probably already downstairs preparing his afternoon meal, which meant that it would give her the chance to walk around privately without running into anyone and seeing the way they always looked at her with a look of pity as she grabbed the front of her robe holding it closed tighter.
She walked down the many halls not knowing exactly where she was headed towards, but then stopped walking knowing even without a plan in mind she still ended up here, standing in between the two doors that were once their adjoining rooms together, that she could find her way to blind folded.
She took a deep breath in thinking of the many intimate moments they shared behind these doors, where for however brief a time she thought it could be possible that one day he could have feelings for her too and then she heard movements inside the bedroom, his movements.
She went to take a step away to hide herself from him before he noticed she was there, but then stopped knowing she couldn't continue to do this and hide away forever. She had been thinking it over in her head the past few days trying to think of what she could do, where she could go to start over, but the only thing she could come up with, was wanting to stay right here with him, and hoped maybe if she came face to face with him, explained how she felt, he would let her stay.
She placed her hand down at her left side where the robe was now covering the marking that she could not get rid of, a permanent branding to all who saw it, letting them know what she was and that she belonged to someone else.
She closed her eyes tight wanting to forget and stay here with him, feel his warm arms wrapped around her once again and hear that she was the only one for him, but knew he didn't see it that way and could not even stand the sight of her any longer and that would mean he would let her go.
She took a deep breath in trying to overlook what had been done to her and try for a better life for herself, hopefully with Darien and walked up to his door.
She raised her hand up high to knock as she let out the deep breath, she held knowing what could await her on the other side of this door an uncertain future, and the cold distant look from him before telling her to leave.
She lowered her hand back down feeling too nervous about doing this after all and admitting that she still loved him, only for him to turn a cold shoulder and toss her away.
She shook her head knowing it was crazy to hold onto false hopes and was just about to turn and walk away from this, when she saw the door suddenly open in front of her and Mina walked out of his room cheerfully telling her "good afternoon Serena"
Serena stood there with her eyes open wide seeing Mina step out of his room this late in the day, looking especially joyful and had a feeling she knew why from her sharing an overly exhilarating night following into the next morning with Darien as she did many times before herself as she took a step back away from the doorway shaking her head no, while Mina looked to her curiously asking "is there something I can help you with?"
Serena looked to her with a shake of her head knowing that Mina was being helpful enough to Darien already and that he didn't need her damaged goods hanging around him any longer, interfering in his plans with all of her many complications.
She already knew what he wanted it was right in front of her, and she was foolish enough to think otherwise that maybe he held some feelings still and wanted her to stay. Only he had made it perfectly clear to her then that he didn't like complicated things and she was full of complications as she heard Mina ask "would you like me to tell Darien that you wish to speak with him"
Serena stood looking at the doorway that led to his room knowing he was right inside and that he hadn't come calling on her even once since they had last spoken down in his study, not a single word had been spoken between them then of a deep admiration as she shook her head remembering the coldness he showed to her instead and what should be an obvious answer to her now, that he didn't want her around any longer complicating things telling Mina back "no I think I found my own answer"
She turned around and walked back down the hall at a quick pace trying to hold in the hurt and pain she felt inside her heart as she heard Mina calling out her name from behind, but it only made her want to walk that much faster to put as much distance between herself and them as possible.
She quickly raced down the halls as she wiped the tears from her eyes, not even sure where she was going to go, but knew she had to get away from this place, away from them. She couldn't stand by and watch seeing them together each day and went running down the steps, through the foyer to the front door, opened the door up wide to the cruel world that waited outside of these boundaries and then stopped.
She turned around and looked back inside the manor and let out a long sigh knowing what was left for her outside these doors, nothing. She had nowhere else to go, no family, and no one left to rely on then closed the door again, unable to muster up the strength in herself to leave him.
She walked back towards his study knowing the next best thing she could do, if she couldn't leave these walls, she would at least open a book and try to imagine herself being somewhere else until her time eventually runs out and he orders her to leave.
She walked back to his study expecting it would be empty with him currently busying himself elsewhere and knew she had enough time to go in select a book and head back upstairs to barricade herself in her room for the evening, where she would be left alone and forgotten.
She opened the door to the study slightly, but soon realized the room was not as empty as she expected hearing voices speaking inside and began to close the door not wanting to interfere as she recognized the voices of Rei and Richard talking.
She was about to close the door all the way to come back later, when she realized they were speaking about her again.
She let out a deep breath knowing it was not uncommon to hear others speaking about her instead of to her about what happened with Christopher as she overheard Richard mentioning something as he spoke loud enough for her to overhear telling Rei "he told me himself that she belongs to Christopher now and he has no interest in her any longer"
Serena let out a loud gulp assuming they were speaking about Darien and his thoughts on Christopher and the three men that worked for him, the same three men who tried to rape her when she tried to escape, while Rei spoke directly of what happened telling him "I know poor Serena, how anyone could be so cruel and heartless. It must be so difficult for her to live with what she went through and be discarded away so"
Richard nodded his head as he replied back solemnly "yes well from what Andy had mentioned she will not be dealing with him for much longer, if at all"
Serena quietly closed the door shut behind her not needing to hear anymore of what she already knew to be true, that she was running out of time here and let the others finish making their own assumptions on why she was acting the way she was.
She had grown tired of overhearing the conversations that everyone spoke about behind her back, and no one ever came up asking her directly how she felt about all of it, but she was growing especially tired of everyone tiptoeing behind her back and pretending like they weren't speaking about what happened or worse pretending like it didn't happen at all.
She turned back to the foyer feeling the anger she kept permanently welled up inside and started walking slowly up the stairs back to the room that she was given, that did not feel like her own any longer, nothing felt like her own here, not her friends, not Darien and began to question herself it this was still her home after all.
She quickly escaped back inside the solitude of her bedroom and closed the door behind her as she leaned up against the door and looked around at where she was with the large canopy bed in the center of the room with the golden accents everywhere and what she could only assume were expensive paintings of landscapes and let out a loud frustrated scream that everything had changed in the one place she most needed to stay the same.
She walked over to the bed and took off her dressing robe lying it across her bed, then picked up one of the pillows from the bed ready to scream inside of it, but then held it in front of her seeing the delicate golden trim sewn around the edges and threw the pillow as hard as she could against the wall and watched with amusement as the pillow hit a jagged edge and ripped open as the feathers came out falling everywhere as she started to laugh and ended up down on her knees on the floor with her head down in her hands crying.
She was traumatized by the events that happened with Christopher and Constance, her father and her aunt and wanted to finally let it all go and be with someone who would accept her, for who she is and not see her differently because of what happened, but she knew it would be impossible to find here, because she was different now and this place was different and she no longer belonged in it anymore.
She slowly stood up from the floor and wiped away the remainder of her tears unsure of where she belonged in the world anymore with no family to rely on and no place that she could call her home as she walked over to the open window looking out on the perfect view of the rose gardens below.
She let out a long sigh thinking of the girl she once was who would sit in those gardens for hours dreaming of the life, she could one day have and now most days and night's she stayed up alone in her room with no dreams left, only alone wasn't the right word to use, because she wasn't ever alone, not completely.
She still saw Christopher's face laughing cruelly at her pain, or her father who lacked even the slightest bit of empathy leaving her a shell of a person like this, or her aunt whose only thoughts were for herself and sold her only niece's virtue away for a profit.
She grew angrier just thinking of them all as she covered her ears to block away all the voices surrounding her, but could still hear Constance's bitter laughter echoing through her brain telling her abruptly "you will clean this mess up now or else there will be consequences to pay"
She slowly lowered her hands down from her ears and looked around the room he had given to her, that was now all covered in feathers and knew the worst heartbreak that she felt was not from any one of them or the silent whispers she heard from those she called her friends, but from the man she loved who had replaced her so easily.
She walked over to the dresser, feeling a new determination to leave this place and start over when she saw a large bowl of assorted fruit that had been left for her to snack upon, but found as the days continued to pass her appetite became less existent and sitting nearby the decorated fruit bowl was a small perfume bottle.
She picked up the bottle not remember seeing it in here before and held it in her hand feeling the weight of the small vile and then took a whiff recognizing the scent immediately and thought of Constance spraying her in the face with a familiar scent before, when she was first sent her off to be with him, where it all began and she was turned into his mistress, only to be later discarded as waste, then turned around and tossed the small bottle as hard as she could against the wall seeing the glass shatter to pieces and landing on the floor while speaking aloud "who gets the last laugh now huh"
She took a deep breath in feeling a freeness by letting out her rage and reached down to the bowl and picked up an apple from the top of the bowl hearing his voice in her head of all the promises he made telling her "you are what I want"
She squeezed the apple as hard as she could in her hand, feeling the pain radiating through her tight fist, but it was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart as she started screaming out "what's the matter Darien did I not eat well enough for you?" as she through the apple away as hard as she could against the wall while the tears kept rolling down her cheeks.
She reached back down to the bowl and picked up a pear next as she looked down at the sight of it and remembered all the pain and torture that came along from another object with a similar name while crying out "is the sight of me no longer pleasant for you to see" as she heard his voice speak in her head telling her "not many people can leave me speechless, but I could tell you were different" as she through the pear across the room screaming out "liar"
She dropped her arm and doubled over feeling the deep pain in her chest rising with each memory that invaded her mind and then reached up to the bowl to grab another fruit in her hand to throw and let out all the pain and frustration she felt inside screaming out "do you hear me I am done, I am done with being your puppet, I'm done with all of this"
She was about to throw the fruit and all the memories they shared away and then felt a slight prick in her hand from the tight hold she had around it, then stopped and lowered her hand down curiously wondering what would poke her on a fruit and opened her palm realizing what she was holding was not a fruit at all.
She looked down to her hand and had to blink twice to be sure she wasn't dreaming this and realized what she was holding in her hand was none other than the same broach that her aunt had stolen from her as she looked around the room for answers seeing she was still alone questioning "how did this get here?"
She went over and sat on the large bed holding the broach in her hand tenderly, thinking she was never going to see this again, the one possession she kept as a reminder of what they once shared and he made her feel for a few brief moments that she was more than what she had become and that he could see and realize, that she was more to him than just a pretty face.
She looked towards the door confused knowing that this broach hadn't been in the room before she left for her walk down the halls and the last time, she saw it was back at the cottage, but now it was here back in her possession.
She looked around the room once again not expecting to see anyone, but knew someone had been in here and the only person who would return something this dear to her was the same person who gave it to her to begin with, Darien as she questioned "but how did he know?"
She held the broach tightly in her hand intending to not let it go this time no matter what, but needed to find out the answers for herself, and this time she would not run away without having to know from him how this came to find its way back to her and especially why?
She left her room in a hurry deciding not to waste time putting her robe on to cover her nightdress and headed downstairs hoping she would find him, while he was still within the manor walls and not leave for the entirety of the day as he had been doing so more often lately and confront him for some answers.
She quickly came down the main steps to the foyer and then came to an immediate halt, midway down seeing him standing by the doorway talking with Andy and it looked like he was expecting to take his leave soon as she had anticipated to see him doing.
She stood where she was for a moment like most days admiring him from afar, seeing he was fully dressed wearing a light grey shirt that hid the quiet strength he had underneath it and looking perfect as always with not a hair out of place and she could almost feel his warm touch against her skin when she overheard him asking Andy in an infuriated manner "have they all been dealt with?"
She took a step back hearing the vicious tone he spoke in, which usually only came out when he was the most aggravated with her after breaking one of his rules and let out a loud gulp knowing whatever it is they were speaking of was not good and probably not meant for her to hear, as she looked down to the broach in her hands and let out a long sigh thinking now may not be the best time to distract him on a piece of jewelry.
She started to turn back around to walk up the steps to her room with her shoulders slouched, hoping when he returns from his affairs, she could get a moment of his time to speak with him when he wouldn't be otherwise distracted with Mina as she was certain he would be after a long day away as she started to take a step back up the stairs, when she heard his voice speak up from the foyer asking calmly "is there something I can help you with Serena?"
She stopped in place knowing she was sighted and slowly turned around biting her bottom lip gently not sure what Darien she would be dealing with the kind one who rescued her, or the cold indifferent one who seemed to care little about her.
Only to find both Darien and Andy's eyes focused completely on her, but not a hint of the man who would have once taken her into his arms and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom, kissing her breathless, making her feel a passion she never knew existed as she held the broach tightly in her hand and shook her head stating "it is not important right now, I can see you are busy, I will come back later"
Andy looked to her forlornly, seeing the unspeakable torment that she held behind those sad eyes of hers that at one time seemed to shine brightly and now looked almost dull and knew that she had been through more than what any of them could ever imagine and was keeping it all to herself, closed and locked away upstairs from everyone that wanted to help her while she was still hurting deeply.
But now she was standing here before them ready to talk, he had his doubts to begin with on Darien's usual stubborn nature and why against his advice he chose to keep himself further away from her, until she was ready to talk about what happened instead of bringing himself closer to easer her through her pain.
He began to believe the day may never come to pass, that she would never open up as Darien intended, but now she stood in front of them having something to say and he would not let that go by as he patted Darien on the shoulder telling him with a little grin "I actually have somewhere else to be right now, I'll catch up with you later" as he bowed his head down acknowledging the lady in the room and quickly left.
Serena watched Andy making a quick exit and then turned her head back, seeing it was what she wanted, just the two of them left alone in the room together to talk as she looked down at the broach in her hand feeling her confidence growing and slowly descended down the rest of the steps not taking her eyes off of Darien, who seemed discomforted to be in her presence, as he took a deep breath in and let it out slow.
She stepped down to the bottom step hoping it was all in her head and that this broached proved deep inside he did have feelings for her still, but by the pained look he had in his eyes. She knew the broach was probably nothing more than a parting gift and he was going to ask her to leave, but she wouldn't go not yet, not without getting the truth from him first as she opened up her hand to reveal the broach and looked up to him asking coolly "did you leave this in my room?"
Darien looked to her standing before him with her luscious pink lips waiting to be kissed, while impossible wearing nothing more than just a sheer nightgown and knew that she was not making this any easier on him, with him wanting to remove that gown from her in the worst way.
He felt a desperate need to touch and caress every fiber of her knowing she could do things to him with just a look that no one else could ever do as he nodded his head while trying to keep himself from grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her upstairs to ravish every part of her body as her sweet lips cried out for more and instead he replied back simply "yes"
Serena watched feeling her heart shattering as he turned his head away so he would not to have to look upon her, see her this way used and damaged and with each second that passed in which he spent not wanting to look upon her, it just felt like another stab to her already broken heart as she looked down to the broach in her hand and tenderly touched it with her thumb remembering the kindness he once showed as she looked up to him asking "why?"
Darien turned back and looked to her surprised to see tears forming in her eyes as he felt a pain in his own chest and knew he could no longer do it. He could no longer keep his distance from her, even if it meant his imminent downfall as he reached out and took the broach out of her hand.
Serena looked to him with her mouth open unable to speak, but shaking her no thinking he would give her back this beautiful gift and then take it away from her again, when her protests went silent as she watched him pin the broach to her nightgown telling her with a small smile "because you shine brightly, when you wear it"
Serena looked up to him feeling the tender touch of his hand against her skin, knowing this is the closest she has been near to him in days and wanted it to continue and never end as she reached up and touched the broach lovingly. Remembering the argument she had with her aunt about sending her to him in the first place, but right now it seemed like the best thing her aunt ever did do for her.
She touched the broach adoringly thinking of one of the few gifts she had ever received in her lifetime and each one of them was special to her because they were from him as she remembered the cold accusations her father had made about her stealing and how upset she had been at the time losing one of the few things she had kept for herself as she looked up to Darien asking warmly "how did you know I had lost it?"
Darien stood there inches away from her and could see in her face the small similarities to that of her father, the cold man who thought nothing of his own daughter's welfare and security and knew that Serena. His warm and gentle, kind and generous Serena was nothing like that man, but seeing her standing before him with the hurt look in her eyes, brought out a hatred in him he never felt before for anyone and felt the mercy he showed was too good for the man and wanted to kill him instead at that moment.
He took a deep breath in to get his temper back in check knowing she had affected him in ways he could have never imagined before she came along and changed everything within him for the better as he watched her chest rise and fall with each breath she took.
He stood close enough that he could smell her delicious scent that he couldn't get enough of and knew he was letting himself get to close again, and wouldn't allow himself to hurt her or push her into anything she wasn't ready for ever again as he took a step back and shook his head telling her calmly "it's not important, let's just say it's where it is supposed to be now"
Serena stood there for a moment and paused feeling angry with herself that she let herself think even for a second that he still wanted her. For a single moment she could imagine him taking her into his arms again and kissing her breath away, but he didn't. Instead she had to watch him turn around and pull even further away than before while telling her in a rush "I am about to leave I have certain business I need to attend to"
She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest trying to hide what he obviously saw and no longer wanted from her as she held her emotions back hating the way he treated her now as if nothing they shared ever happened as she replied back in the same cold demeanor "of course if you must go"
Darien turned around to look at her feeling a hard pull at his chest knowing the last thing he wanted was to leave her, but knew until she was ready to be his again he wouldn't push her into anything and in doing so he couldn't trust himself to be near her as he grabbed his cape telling her smoothly "I will be away until night fall"
Serena stood there holding her body covered from his view as she watched him walk towards the door away from her and knew that she could no longer put it off any longer, no longer hold out hope for something that would not be as she shook her head telling him smoothly "I won't be here"
Darien stopped walking hearing her say the words that kept him awake at night and turned around to face her as he shook his head not wanting to think of her being anywhere else, but with him questioning back "leaving? where would you go?"
She looked to him knowing she got the words out and now couldn't take them back as she let out a loud gulp knowing this was the last thing she actually wanted, but she could not stay and face him looking at her this way every day and replied back calmly with what little courage she had left "I don't know maybe to the village to stay with Molly and her family for a few days. I haven't really figured it all out yet"
Darien looked to her and felt a knot rising in his chest at the thought of her being anywhere that was not here with him where she would stay safe. It might not be the best of circumstances, having her so close and not being able to touch her, but she was still with him and he could give her the life she deserved as he shook his head telling her strongly "no you will stay right here"
She looked to him hearing the no dispute way he spoke and wished desperately that what he meant was more than just a kind gesture as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly and cried out all the insecurities and heartache she held inside while asking him "why?"
Darien turned around to face her seeing the disheveled look she had in her eyes, that of the girl that he once knew who would back down to nothing as he shook his head wishing for the thousandth time he had gotten to Christopher's sooner or better yet just not let her go at all as he told her back "I will not just let you leave"
Serena slowly uncrossed her arms from her chest after hearing his words telling her to stay when he himself wouldn't even look at her and let her body show in front of him, damages and all while shaking her head yelling out to him "you can't even look at me" as she removed the broach from her nightdress and through it down to the floor in front of him in an unspoken challenge.
Darien looked down to the floor where the broach lied by his feet that he had first given to her months before, when he got his first glimpse that she was unlike anyone he ever met before as he bent down to pick it up when he heard her cry out "I need to know why? Why do you avoid me? Does every time you see me this way just make you so angry that I was touched by another that you cannot even stand to be in the same room with me?"
Darien stood back up with his mouth open agape to hear she thought of him this way and could see the tears streaming down her cheeks as her body started shaking while she continued on pleading out to him "Am I no longer pleasing for you to look at? Is that why you replaced me so easily? Please I need to know, tell me why I am no longer desirable to you?"
Darien stood there shocked to hear her worries and concerns and felt the wind knocked right out of him to think that all this time she thought that he didn't want her, when every thought that consumed his mind was of her.
He dropped his cape down to the floor having no further intentions of leaving anytime soon, needing to fix this and make her understand what he himself did not completely understand as he quickly crossed over to her in two quick strides then reached out grabbed her by the arms pulling her in closer to him, and wrapped his arms around her tightly so she would not be leaving him again and then kissed her deeply.
Serena's eyes opened up wide surprised at first by his actions, but only at first as she quickly got swept away in the moment and lifted her arms up wrapping them around his neck, then started kissing him back fervently, not wanting this moment to ever end.
Darien couldn't get enough of the taste of her sweet lips on his own and started kissing her like a man dying of thirst and getting his first luscious taste of wine. He couldn't stop kissing her, he didn't want to try. He had missed the taste of her, but more so he missed the way she responded back to being with him as their bodies molded together.
He ran his hands up higher over her tender breasts wanting much more than just a small taste of her, when he heard her let out a slight moan and it was not from pleasure. He found the strength he needed in that moment to break away from her as he stepped back afraid his worst fear came to be and he had hurt her in some way.
Serena stopped to catch her own breath knowing she got herself caught up in the moment as she looked over to see him doing the same as she bit down on her lower lip nervously asking "does this mean you still want me to stay around?"
Darien looked to her standing there biting on that lip of hers again and could feel himself growing hard just watching it as he started to laugh telling her "you foolish girl. Don't you realize right now I would grab you, carry you upstairs and ravish you until the sun comes up the next day, if I could?"
Serena stood there with her eyes open wide stunned to hear him admit that he still wanted her as much as she did him and could feel her heart beating wildly though her chest with anticipation as she looked to him asking innocently "so why don't you?"
Darien turned to her surprised not expecting to hear those words from her mouth especially not after what she had been through as he reached out and tenderly touched her cheek telling her "I made you a promise, you would no longer be my mistress. I stand by promise I am not going to force you any longer"
Serena looked to him shocked that all this time when she thought he was trying to avoid her he was only trying to be a gentleman as she put her hand up to his hard chest as he covered her hand with his own. She could feel his heart beating this time for her alone as she told him with a small grin "you wouldn't have had too"
Darien looked to her amazed and let out a small laugh knowing Andy was right as usual, with all these days that had passed when he could have been holding her in his arms, but that was finally over with now and he had what he has wanted all along, for her to be his as he reached out with both of his hands placing them on both sides of her face asking her gently "will you stay with me, not because I am forcing you too, but because you want to be with me"
Serena felt like her whole heart would burst with joy at that very moment and she was about to answer screaming out for all to hear yes, when she saw from the corner of her eye Mina come walking into the room carrying a bouquet of flowers and knew that she was wrong before, his heart did not beat for her alone that it was shared with another as she pulled out of his grasp and looked back at him asking coldly "and what about Mina?"
Darien looked back at her confused not understanding why she would be bringing Mina up now of all places when he was waiting for the right words to come from her mouth so he could carry her upstairs to the bedroom where he could continue with a dream that he had last night asking her confused "what about her?"
Serena felt crushed hearing his cavalier words and to think for a moment she let herself believe he could ever be anything more to her, that he could feel something more for her like she did for him, that they could actually share something special, but she was so wrong.
He had Mina too for his pleasures and no intention of changing that, wanting to keep them both, have his own harem of women at his disposal just like Christopher did and as much as she cared for him, she would never allow herself to be caught up in a similar situation again as she shook her head telling him angrily "I can't do this" as she tried to turn from him to run upstairs and get far away from him and this place forever.
Darien saw the quick change in her face from one of complete pleasure to a sudden rage right before his eyes as he grabbed onto her arm, not understanding the abrupt switch from her demanding "Serena what is this about?"
She shook her head amazed at the coolness he showed, that he could replace her quickly with another and then be more than willing to accept her back to her role only to be shared this time with Mina and knew this was the real him, that Constance had been right after all and it was only about the pleasures he sought and she had only been fooling herself to believe otherwise as she told him back strongly "I cannot do this, not again with you, not with her. I deserve better"
Darien stood there confused not understanding what her problem is. She wanted better he already gave her the finest clothes to wear, the grandest room in the manor and still she was displeased, but he wouldn't let her go not without a better explanation as he kept his hold on her arm telling her "Serena I don't understand your reaction. I will give you whatever you wish, but Mina had been doing well with her new duties and does whatever I request of her"
Serena became choked up hearing him admit the truth, that he was pleased with Mina and intended on keeping her as his mistress, with her in his bed and found it hard to breathe as she fought out of his grip telling him harshly "just leave me be Darien, please let me go this time. I…I can't do this with you"
Darien didn't understand her strong reaction after what she had told him a second ago, but saw the tears come rolling down her cheeks as he let go of her arm and reached up instead to wipe away her tears, knowing he couldn't let her go now even if he tried and would do whatever was necessary to keep her with him always as he began telling her "Serena I…" but was instead pushed back against the stair railing by her as he watched her stunned as she went charging her way back up the stairs and away from him.
Serena did not slow down and did not look back as she ran back to her room as fast as she could get herself inside and slammed the door shut behind her.
She took a deep breath in knowing he would soon follow and probably be angry with her for shoving him as she did, which would probably mean having to deal with another beating from him, but it no longer mattered because she felt cold and dead inside anyway as she wiped away the last remaining tears from her eyes telling herself "I can't stay here any longer and be what he expects me to be. I will be gone by tonight"
