Notes: This work contains spoilers for the last chapter of the manga. Proceed at your own risk.


Ceremonials

SATURDAY


The morning sky was a clear blue, sharp like the hour. Hijikata turned up at the Yorozuya's front door around 7AM with bags under his eyes, too exhausted to verbalize his journey there from the barracks. He was supposed to have left the damn place the evening before but preparations for the Ten Year Celebration of the Terminal Battle had delayed him inevitably - a continuous occurrence in his life since, two months before, the city mayor had decided to inaugurate the Terminal's newly reconstructed North Sector on the same day as that of the ceremony. Our citizens deserve an abundance of riches, the fool had said. Hijikata wanted to punch the man every time he recalled his words. He had never thought the event would consume so much of his time, so much of his sanity and so many resources, not to mention the amount of small favors every new consort to the celebration ended up asking of him, last but not least the beloved prime minister herself, Tokugawa Soyo, who, at the end of her tenure, holding the highest popularity ratings ever and therefore impossible to refuse, had roped Hijikata into promising her he would convince the Old Yorozuya, Sakata Gintoki, to attend the event as her most honored guest.

A day did not go by that Soyo didn't try to contact Hijikata eager for an answer to her request, yet Hijikata kept eluding her, disconnecting her calls whenever he could, bringing up the piles of bureaucratic disputes and event preparations he had to attend to before he could even consider the issue. Fortunately for him, Soyo was never but cordial and patient, though their dispositions clashed and, every so often, Soyo sent her messages through much more terrifying and imposing means like the Police Director, Imai Nobume, or even the current Yorozuya's President, Shinpachi himself. Hijikata's defense weakened then. Nevermind that he thought the issue a complete waste of time. If Shinpachi could not change Gintoki's mind nobody could. Perhaps Kagura but she was light years away. Hijikata hoped Shinpachi's message got to her in time.

"If it doesn't, you are our last hope, Hijikata-san. You might think he doesn't listen to you but-"

"I know he doesn't."

"But you're wrong. You two are much more alike than you think. I'm sure you'll find a way to turn him around. Please!"

Hijikata had been at a loss for words, unable to reply. He had carried Soyo and Shinpachi's hopes like a burden while holding out for word of Kagura, sending dispatches to the Terminal for news of her, until a couple of weeks later a change to his situation presented itself spontaneously after he'd agreed to go out for a drink with Gintoki. A casual night out which Hijikata had been happy to indulge in to escape the hustle and bustle of the Ten Year Celebration.

They had left the bar to brave the cold windy streets of Edo after warming their bellies with a few drinks, Hijikata with his hands tucked inside the folds of his yukata and Gintoki likewise, walking beside him with a childish pout on his lips which was incompatible with the wrinkles dusting the corner of his eyes.

"I'm swarmed with work," Hijikata had said, rummaging his inner pockets for a cigarette while he explained for the fiftieth time why he had to return to the barracks and not follow Gintoki home, "Besides you're going to wake up alone anyway, what's it to you?"

"I don't mind waking up alone so long as I fall asleep accompanied."

"Your tongue is as sweet as the shit you eat. You wanna catch diabetes?"

"I want you to taste it." Gintoki whispered by his ear.

Hijikata sighed.

"What if I say please?"

"No."

"Oi, Hijikata-kun since when have I become so easy to reject? You're hurting Gin-san's feelings."

"It's not my fault I have a job and responsibilities." Hijikata remarked.

"Double ouch. You think I don't have those too?" Gintoki said, "I just miss you, is all."

"I have a meeting with the Director tomorrow, call her if you want."

"Nobume?" the name of the Police Director slipped from Gintoki's smiling lips and he mimicked picking up his phone, "Hello? Director-san? It's me, the Yorozuya's Boss, I'm just calling to say the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander will be late for a meeting tomorrow because I need him to **** my **** and I was so **** all week that I had him **** me twice and then-"

Hijikata covered Gintoki's mouth with his hand as a young couple walked by, a boy and a girl shyly holding hands. Somehow the pair reminded Gintoki of Shinpachi and he wanted to puke. Hijikata's reaction, however, had pushed them into a shadowy lane and Gintoki found Hijikata leaning against him, his entire body snug in his embrace. Gintoki kissed him tenderly, eyes shutting close.

"You play an unfair game, Vice-Commander."

"I'm not made of stone."

"I disagree." Gintoki replied. The smile was back on his face and his leg wandered to Hijikata's middle.

"We're too old for this." Hijikata groaned, stepping back.

"Let's go away, just you and me." the words flew from Gintoki's mouth before he could stop them.

Hijikata's blue eyes, dark and gleaming, sought Gintoki's in a beat.

"It's gonna be ten years soon," Gintoki said, the creases around his eyes deepening, "Shouldn't we celebrate?"

"The Terminal fight?"

"No, stupid. Us, together properly."

Hijikata had no reply. No breath either. He felt his heart beat fast and threw his arms around Gintoki, hoping he might kiss those pitiful wrinkles away.


As he stared at the small child beside Gintoki in the hallway of the Yorozuya's apartment, Hijikata wondered for a minute if the sweet precursor to their weekend getaway would be the only good memory he would take from it. He pondered the possibility during the entire journey to the country place, already feeling a migraine coming and adding to his overall grief. He loathed to admit his failure in foreseeing the inevitable turn of events. After all, Gintoki always managed to attract calamity.

The identity of the child went unspoken, but Hijikata knew, as a well-informed political agent does, exactly who the child was. He would come to know other things too, things he already knew about Gintoki but which he would be reminded of in the two days they were to spend together in that old house in the mountains, connected to the nearest village by a dirt road the cab-driver was adamant not to plod through with his shiny new Subaru Sambar which, as Takasugi pointed out, was not a suitable vehicle to drive as a cab.

"The lil' fella here talks real important-like, don't he?" the cab-driver crooned, obviously a local farmer looking to make some extra dough by driving around the new arrivals he picked up at the train station.

"He thinks he's a comedian."

"He's the secret son of a minister."

Gintoki and Hijikata traded stinging glances, each cursing the other inwardly for their mismatched story.

"Oh, ain't that so?" the cab-driver laughed, "Hope you have a grand ol' time at ol' Jirocho's place. I always told Pirako-chan she could make a buck renting the house to city-leeches like y'all. If you need anything just ring me, alright?" he pointed a thumb to the number stenciled on the side of his van where big yellow characters read 'MIKI-CHAN, CABBY FOR CITY SUCKERS AT YOUR SERVICE'.

Gintoki and Hijikata stood motionlessly as the van drove away and splattered their shoes with dirt. Hijikata was too drained to speak. He couldn't even look Gintoki in the eye for fear of ruining whatever was left of their weekend together. He would probably burn him to a crisp with his stare if he did. He lit a cigarette to calm his nerves and turned around as he heard Takasugi shout. His toneless voice, strangely adult, had acquired the chirpy tones of a child.

"Look over there!"

Hijikata exhaled a cloud of smoke and followed Takasugi's small frame through the patches of undergrowth by the dirt road. Gintoki followed close behind, his expression difficult to read under the shadow of the tall beech trees cooling the top of their heads. Hijikata could hear him groan as he trudged along with their luggage, Takasugi's small backpack slung over his chest.

An explosion of orange and yellow petals took Hijikata's breath away before he could taunt Gintoki with a snide remark. The treeline that had skirted the dirt road had come to an abrupt end before a vast field of wildflowers. Their thin numerous petals blew effortlessly in the breeze.

"What are they called?" Takasugi's innocent question prompted a swift answer from Hijikata.

"Chrysanthemums, I believe."

"They're beautiful." Takasugi replied.

Hijikata agreed silently, baffled at the sight and at the ease with which the name had come to him. He beheld the patches where the flowers had spawned in darker shades, orange and red. Their scent escaped him, engulfed in nicotine as he was, but not the pair of crimson eyes next to him, silently beholding the kid wandering among the flowers with open palms.

"You can't wish for something and then rue the day you get it."

Gintoki's gaze moved from Takasugi to Hijikata, his brows furrowed.

"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Hijikata froze, thumb and index finger holding his cigarette precariously.

"What the hell does that mean, you bas-"

"We've seen the flowers, now what?"

Takasugi returned with a flower behind his ear, anxious to get to their next stop, yet his question fell on deaf ears. Gintoki and Hijikata had fallen into a silent stare-off which Takasugi was only able to break by eating the wild chrysanthemum perched on his ear and pretending to choke on it. When Gintoki approached him to see if he was okay Takasugi spat the half-chewed flower in his face and shoved him back.

"Mom was right, you're a joke!"

He stomped towards the dirt road and Hijikata held back a chuckle, feeling slightly avenged.

"My observation still stands." he said.

"Shut up." Gintoki grumbled.


To say the house that awaited them was past its prime was pure exaggeration. Perhaps the seeds of capitalistic greed Miki, the self-professed country cabby, had sowed in Pirako's mind had taken some root. Gintoki no longer wondered why it had been so easy for Shinpachi to cull a favor from her, though the fine print on the price still hung over them like Death's scythe. The house was old and weathered, its built traditional, with the signs of having been lived in, yet the care and happiness of those who had inhabited it was apparent. Apart from the emptiness and stuffy smell of a place that had been vacant for years, the rooms were clean, the wooden floors swept, the roof all in one piece. Pirako had made sure the place was well taken care of after she and Jirocho had moved away.

Takasugi fetched the keys from the mailbox as instructed by Gintoki and walked inside, shoes off as soon as darkness engulfed him. Gintoki yelled after him in vain, dropped the luggage in the hallway and slumped down on the front steps to catch his breath.

"Damn kid."

"You tired already?" Hijikata's jab drew a sigh and a roll of eyes from Gintoki, that juvenile attitude which neither middle nor old age would ever take from him.

"Shut up, can't you see this is a wreck? My entire plan flushed down the toilet the minute that sadistic fangirl dropped the kid at my door."

"I thought you were looking for him," Hijikata deadpanned, "Even Zura told me as much."

"Oh, you've been chumming with the enemy behind my back?"

Hijikata scoffed at Gintoki's choice of words and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not like you talk to me about it."

Gintoki was silent. The windows and shutters were still closed, as were most sliding doors inside the house. Hijikata took off his shoes and walked past Gintoki, cigarette between his lips.

"I didn't come here to talk." Gintoki said, catching the hem of Hijikata's yukata.

Hijikata stopped and looked down at Gintoki, expression unreadable.

"Is that all there is on your mind?"

"Since the current prospect is that I'm not getting any, yeah, it is."

Gintoki's hand slipped under the hem of Hijikata's yukata to touch the warm skin of his calf. Hijikata jerked it away.

"You're the one who brought the kid so you better get over it."

Gintoki retrieved his hand and watched Hijikata disappear into the empty darkness of the house. A lonely shiver ran down his spine. He groaned.

Throughout the years it seemed nothing had changed except the amount of time he and Hijikata had managed to spend together, an endeavor destined to dwindle to nothing. Even with Kagura away and Shinpachi becoming more independent and running jobs on his own, Hijikata had become busier than ever, submerged completely in Edo's reconstruction and political affairs while Gintoki had managed to shrunk his presence to a tenth of its previous size, letting himself fall back and lend a hand only when absolutely necessary. How could he do otherwise when ghosts chased him at every corner, their masked faces all copies of each other; when he could still remember Shouyou's arms turning to dust under his fingertips, and Takasugi's smile as he breathed his last. The end had been too costly and no happy life in Edo could ever change that. No normalcy, no returning to the way things used to be. Gintoki hadn't been able to hold other people to that standard either, and, though he missed her, he respected Kagura's intentions to travel the universe. He only wished he could do the same, find some purpose, move on. The realization wouldn't hurt so much if he didn't know it was his own selfish desire that had led him to capitulate and beg Matako to see the Altana miracle. Takasugi's rebirth. Whatever the hell it was.

Gintoki imagined that was the reason why it hurt so much to look at him now. It had been a possibility which he had entertained before but having it proved right hurt more than a visit to the dentist. He couldn't help but wonder every time he stared into those big, naive eyes, Is this enough? Are you happy? Are you there?, and every time he heard those questions echo inside his head he heard the silent answer too, the one he already knew. He is dead.

Was rebirth salvation then? The second chance Takasugi deserved? The one Gintoki wanted for himself? Was it the way to rid himself of the guilt doubled and renewed and entrenched in his soul after Shoyou's sacrifice?

You can't wish for something and then rue the day you get it.

Even the person who knew him best saw through his facade and now Gintoki was throwing it all away. Refusing to let Hijikata see him for what he was, weak and defeated and tired of life. Guilty. So guilty. The feeling piled up the more they fought, the longer they spent apart. It only dissolved when Gintoki's mind was numb or his body enthralled, reaching that peak where past, present and future were meaningless. Lying about it was worthless. Sex was all Gintoki had been looking for. The sweet relief of Hijikata's body against his, intoxicating, open and vulnerable, inviting Gintoki to bury himself in him with the certainty of being caught, of being saved. He didn't dare ask for anything more yet he had fallen into his own trap, sought a miracle and unwillingly denied himself of it.


Light entered the house as they opened windows and doors. The darkness withdrew and the rooms acquired a banality that was strangely comforting. Before Gintoki knew it the three of them had made themselves at home. Takasugi, shy and quiet at first, slowly more and more forthcoming with his unasked-for opinions, ran up and down the stairs to the second floor as he devised imaginary adventures of exploration and screamed after ghosts which Gintoki was sure weren't there yet had him double-checking behind him whenever he entered a room by himself.

He dumped his and Hijikata's luggage in one of the vacant rooms upstairs and went to check the room opposite where Takasugi would be sleeping. It was a simple four tatami room with a small shelf and a closet where a pink futon cover denounced Pirako's presence. Traces of her could be seen elsewhere, in the girly comic books she had left on her shelf, in the framed engravings of dragons and other elaborated mythological imagery which Gintoki was sure he had seen in the backs of dozens of yakuza henchmen, the leftover clothes with flowery patterns much too small to be worn by adults. Gintoki browsed through the selection inside the closet and slid it shut as he came upon a butterfly kimono.

He bit back a yelp when Takasugi appeared behind him.

"I want the bigger room."

"The bigger room is for taller people, everybody knows that."

"But this room is too small! Mom would let me have the bigger room!"

"Oh, so she is your mom now?"

Takasugi's cheeks flushed red, he tightened his fists.

"The old man downstairs said so too! He doesn't care which room he has, you're the only one in my way!"

"The old man downstairs is senile. I am the authority here. Besides, your not-mom left you in my care, so I make the decisions here."

"But this room is haunted, didn't you know? When I walked in, the window opened by itself, it was like…" Takasugi lowered his voice and took slow steps towards Gintoki, covering his mouth as he spoke, "It was like the room was welcoming me in."

The hairs on the back of Gintoki's neck rose with a quiver, he patted Takasugi on the head hastily, with a bit more fervor than he intended.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, Shinsuke-kun, that's so funny! Didn't I already tell you that ghosts don't exist? They only come out during the summer anyway, it's fall now so that shtick won't work on me. Hahahahahaha! This room is perfectly fine!"

One of Pirako's framed etchings fell from the wall at that moment and both Gintoki and Takasugi bolted out of the room without further argument. Takasugi fled downstairs towards the protection of the more sensible adult and Gintoki ran back to his and Hijikata's room where their open suitcases looked more enticing than ever. Gintoki busied himself by combing through each of their articles of clothing in a trance, speaking absurdities to himself to keep the ghosts away and smelling once or twice Hijikata's clothes without realizing.

Quiet, deliberate steps up the stairs broke his daze. Hijikata walked in with arms crossed.

"What?" Gintoki asked.

"The porch is chilly, I came for my haori." Hijikata said.

Gintoki swallowed dryly, feeling the fabric of Hijikata's haori in his hands.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting our clothes away." Gintoki answered.

"You know we're just staying the weekend, right?"

Gintoki stood up with haori in hand. Hijikata's eyes followed him closely.

"Yeah, I know." Gintoki replied, holding out the haori so Hijikata would slide his arms inside the sleeves, "But we could come back."

"With my endless supply of days-off?" Hijikata sneered, tucking the haori flaps over his chest.

"Instead of that blasted celebration that's taking you away from me all the time we could just sneak away and-"

"So you do know about it?" Hijikata's gaze hardened, his expression twisted Gintoki's gut.

"Shinpachi reminds me of it every day." Gintoki drawled.

"Why don't you just save us all the grief and accept the invitation? They don't want you there for your speeches. The politicians can do all the talk themselves."

"All the more reason for me not to go."

"You're a symbol to them. They want to show you off, so what?"

Gintoki lowered his head, curls hiding his eyes.

"A symbol of what? Hope?" derision coated his voice, Gintoki stepped away from Hijikata and approached the only window in the room, "Aren't you smarter than this, Hijikata? Do you really think I represent hope to people? Or am I not just a reminder of everything they lost? I don't feel like being paraded around so those guys on top can tell people their sacrifices were worth it. Edo has been rebuilt, most of it anyway, this Ten Year bullshit is just a whim of the government to spice their interests and I'm the neat bow they want to tie it all up."

Gintoki's eyes followed Takasugi's figure as he roamed the garden outside. He could feel the smoldering gaze latched onto his back.

"I didn't take you for one who runs away, Yorozuya."

"I don't like crowds."

"Then it's a tragedy that they love you."

Gintoki closed his eyes. The room felt horribly empty. He heard Hijikata light a cigarette and the door of the room slide open.

"Maybe in two weeks you'll change your mind." Hijikata said and left.


An inordinate amount of time slipped by until Gintoki realized Takasugi was no longer playing by himself in the garden. Another voice had joined his, shrill and young, that of a short boy who followed Takasugi as the two battled with swords made of fallen tree branches. The unknown kid had a mane of frizzy hair and gangly legs, reminiscing of a distant past Gintoki had lost sight of. He could tell by the shouts and the laughter that the kids were having fun, but for a moment he wasn't sure it was entirely real. He left his spot by the window sill and walked down to the corner room next to the kitchen where Hijikata sat by the open doors to the garden, smoking quietly and keeping a watchful eye on the kids.

"Who's that?"

"Some neighborhood kid." Hijikata said.

"You trust that easily? You do know if anything happens to Takasugi it will be my balls, right?" Gintoki whispered between gritted-teeth, "That brat could be an amanto-assassin disguised as a human kid to kidnap the former leader of the Kiheitai."

"Who's the paranoid one now?" Hijikata huffed, "Anyway, is that who he is?"

"Well, his sadist adoptive-mother-slash-fangirl-slash-underling is certainly grooming him to be the leader, don't you think? Why do you think she takes him everywhere? She's showing him the ropes!"

"She fears for his life," Hijikata answered, voice grave, "I mean, he looks like a regular kid but who knows whether he carries mutated Altana genes? He's supposed to be ten years old and he looks ten. No signs of fast-growth, no quick regeneration. He looks damn normal."

"You keep tabs on him as well?" Gintoki wondered, throwing a side glance at Hijikata.

"The Shinsengumi might not be what it once was, but we're still Special Police. It's our job to protect the country from any possible threats."

"You think he's a threat?"

"If he's capable of attracting remnants of the Tendoshuu, then yes."

Gintoki was silent, arms crossed and hands cozy inside the sleeves of his yukata. A subtle smile came to his lips.

"You're as bloodthirsty as ever," he said, "You're gonna be eighty years old and still be itching for a fight, Thorny."

"Says the guy that refuses to part with his wooden sword," Hijikata retorted, "Swords are still banned in this new era, didn't you get the memo?"

"Oi, you've already outlawed one of my wooden swords, you can't ban both. Choose one."

A vein popped above Hijikata's furrowed brow, throbbing across his bare forehead.

"Oh, are you angry, Hijikata-kun?"

Gintoki's taunt was interrupted by a clamoring female voice.

"Kentaaaa! Kentaaa-kun!"

Takasugi's fellow playmate stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of his name then gasped as Takasugi landed a blow on his knee.

"That's what you get for letting yourself get distracted." Takasugi declared.

"But that's my mom!" Kenta replied, holding his knee with feeble dignity.

Neither Gintoki nor Hijikata had to intervene after that. Kenta's mother overtook the knee-high front gate and walked in practically prancing with the grace and good-humour of candid countryfolk. She bowed in apology to Takasugi and pushed Kenta's head down along with hers, then, when her eyes caught the sight of the two men sitting on the porch, she repeated the gesture to them, her son's skull tight in her claw-like grip.

"I'm so sorry, sirs. My son has no manners! Kenta, say sorry to the gentlemen."

"B-but m-mom I was the one who got struck!"

"I'll show you what's it like to get struck, how's that?"

Something about her smile reminded Gintoki of Shimura Tae and he grimaced before standing to greet her.

"That's alright, they were just goofing around."

"Oh, if you say so, sir," she released her son's head and the kid shifted closer to Takasugi whose contrite expression had turned into one of aggravation at the woman's disciplinarian mood. He clearly enjoyed doing as he pleased and didn't take to any mother figure except his own.

"I'm Kenta's mother, Shimizu Hana, it's a pleasure to meet you," she bowed again in greeting and Hijikata and Gintoki greeted her back, "We live just down the road. Miki-san stopped by earlier to tell us all about you and before I knew it Kenta had vanished. I came to make sure he wasn't troubling you."

"We were dueling," Takasugi said, tone accusatory, "Before you interrupted us."

"Oh my, I'm so sorry, young master."

"He's no young master," Gintoki cut in, clearing his throat, "You can call him bean-squirt."

"Shut up, old man!"

"Oi, Toshi, can't you just arrest him? Put him in juvenile detention or something? You can do it, can't you?"

Hijikata exhaled a big cloud of smoke before putting out his cigarette. He ignored Gintoki and Takasugi's unending back-and-forth of accusations and turned towards Hana's giggling figure, unabashedly enjoying their bickering.

"Would you care for some tea?"

Her answer came promptly, with a soft blush at Hijikata's courteous manner. She followed him to the kitchen and helped him find a kettle, teacups and tray. Her knowledge of the place surprised him and before Hijikata could conjure sinister theories about her, Hana offered a simple explanation. She was Pirako's cousin once removed from her mother's side of the family and it was she who had been taking care of the house in Pirako's absence. She expanded further on Pirako's plans regarding the place, plans that completely neglected her father's opinion since he, according to Hana, had no interest in the house so long as Pirako was happy.

"He spoils her too much," Hana confessed, "But I believe they're happy. Did you know them, Hijikata-san?"

"Not personally, no." Hijikata replied.

"Sakata-san, then?"

"Yes," Hijikata said.

"It's nice that you've come. I suppose all country folk say the same when they meet new people, but this house is too charming to be left shut all year long. I'm glad there's finally people here to appreciate my hard work. How long are you staying?"

"Just the weekend."

"What a shame!" Hana exclaimed. She poured hot water into the serving kettle and Hijikata handed her the lid.

"Does it have a buyer yet?" Hijikata asked.

"I don't think so, especially now that Pirako-chan has lent it to you. I hope you'll reconsider staying longer. May I ask why you've come?"

Hijikata pondered her question, tongue tied. He was clever not to open and close his mouth like a stranded fish, but Hana's gaze focused on his face as she waited for an answer, studying his features carefully.

"So, any dirt on old man Jirocho?" Gintoki's voice cut through the silence that had suddenly taken hold of the room.

Hijikata exhaled relieved but Hana did not let him rest. To her defense, Hijikata had not noticed the glare which she had received from the apparently nonchalant Gintoki.

"You know I'm a married woman but I have to say, Hijikata-san, you're one of the best looking men I've ever seen in my life. What is it you do exactly?"

"He's been a staff manager at Kewpie's factory for fifteen years. The work has clearly taken a toll on him. I mean, the staff is so unruly he has even lost his hair. He used to have cute V-shaped bangs and everything, he was a real prince charming. It's a shame what happened to his looks."

Hijikata's hand moved out of habit, searching for the hilt of a sword that was no longer there. He growled through gritted teeth like a rabid dog, slapping Gintoki's hand away when he tried to pet him under the chin.

"I'm a police officer!" Hijikata barked, "Don't listen to a word this perm-headed lunatic says!"

"Oh, you two get along so well," Hana smiled, sipping her tea, "How long have you known each other?"

"Way too long!" they replied in unison.

Hana laughed again.

"Well, you remind me of this woman Jirocho-san had a crush on. Pirako-chan told me all about it. Do you want to know?"

Anything was better than displaying their flawed, sickening relationship to the world, so Gintoki and Hijikata sat down to hear a humorous, extravagant take on Jirocho's love-life, with all the spice and exaggerations a good gossiper revels in. Hijikata took extra pleasure from the rare flush of embarrassment that colored Gintoki's cheeks as Hana described a racy portrait of Otose in her youth, the total opposite of the charming woman she had been.

Hana's stories then diverged to village news, facts about local hot-spots and an in-depth monologue about the house that rivaled that of a museum curator. She was curious about Edo too and Gintoki and Hijikata were glad to answer her questions, most of them concerning trivial, pop-culture subjects which Hijikata, for one, had little knowledge of. Thus the afternoon flew by, the enthusiastic voices of the two boys playing outside supplying the convivial trio with unusual solace and the occasional burst of worry when one of them vanished from view behind a bush or the trunk of a tall tree.

The shadows of twilight soon overtook the sunlight basking the room in a pre-autumnal glow. Hana gasped at the hours and called Kenta so they could bade their goodbyes. She promised to return the next day with a treat and to send Kenta again to play with Gintoki and Hijikata's kid. The way she phrased it, however, left them both discombobulated. They stuttered in their haste to reply, desperate to rectify the misunderstanding.

"H-He's not my kid!"

"He's not o-our kid!"

"He's actually my younger brother!" Gintoki said with a nervous laugh, "He is very sick so the doctor prescribed him a change of scenery!"

"Fresh mountain air." Hijikata pitched in.

"Contact with nature!" Gintoki added.

"His lungs are no good." Hijikata said, putting out his half-smoked cigarette.

"Oh, but he runs so well." Hana replied.

"His dream is to join the track team." Gintoki said.

"That's why he puts his heart into it."

"So pitiful." Gintoki sighed.

Takasugi was in silent shock, his eyes switching from one idiot to the other.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I'm sure the air up here will do him good. I hope he recovers." Hana said, hugging her son by the shoulders.

"So do we."

"I'll bring you something sweet to eat tomorrow," she told Takasugi, "You'd like that, right?"

"I-"

"He would love it." Gintoki replied, hand clamped over Takasugi's mouth.

Hana nodded and left, Kenta trailing quietly beside her. The two were not out of the gate before a shouting match erupted behind them, voices so shrill and loud it was impossible to discern the child from the adult.


Hunger soothed the excited humours of the two loudmouths and, after dinner, Takasugi fell asleep watching TV. Gintoki acted without thinking, out of habit. Hijikata smiled to himself as he watched Gintoki pick up Takasgui's sleeping figure and carry him upstairs to bed. It was something he had done countless times before, an act which Hijikata had borne witness to in the past; Gintoki's hands under Kagura's short legs as she drooled over his shoulder while he piggybacked her home after some outlandish job.

The door to the porch was ajar, a window into the starry night sky clear and fathomless without Edo's glaring city lights to muddle it. Forest sounds surrounded the house, louder than the soft crackle of the TV. For a second Hijikata felt himself younger, tackled by memories of his childhood, happy and sad. He saw the spruce courtyard of his brother's homestead, the dirt-paved roads he had tracked to unknown towns, the pine trees leading up to empty shrines where he used to spend the night, the grassy fields around Kondo's dojo.

The memories ebbed away as Gintoki's hush voice reached him. His tone was grave and sulky.

"Damn, he is almost as heavy as Kagura. What's with kids these days? He's like a bag of bricks."

"Stop grumbling like an old man," Hijikata said, "At least with him here you're not looking up at the sky."

"The hell does that mean?" Gintoki replied, sitting down on a cushion beside Hijikata.

"You're always waiting for her," Hijikata blew out a cloud of smoke, "Hoping she will drop down from the clouds."

"I'm just making sure birds don't take a shit on me! This silver perm doesn't take care of itself, you know?!"

"Sure, I do," Hijikata replied, running his fingers through said silver curls, "That thick head of yours is already full of droppings anyway."

"At least it's not rotten and riddled with nicotine."

"Care to repeat that, you-"

Gintoki's lips found Hijikata's and he swallowed his words.

"Be careful with what you say, Vice-Commander. There's a child in the premises, you can't just flirt openly with me like that."

"Who was flirting, bastard. It's not as if we came here for you to answer my questions."

Gintoki groaned, eyes all but rolling into the back of his head.

"Is this about the celebration again?"

"You tell me."

Gintoki's silence spoke for itself.

"Funny, isn't it? You've been running away from this kid for so many years and now here he is, dropped on your lap at a whim," Hijikata said, "Kijima must really trust you."

"Or pity me."

"She knows what it feels like to lose him. She spent months searching those dragon holes for a miracle. I'm sure you both can relate to each other."

Hijikata stared at the blue shadows of the garden outside, dark and impenetrable under the trees. Gintoki studied his profile. A passing cloud shed moonlit at their feet before he spoke.

"Would you trust me to a stranger?"

"In a heartbeat," Hijikata chuckled, "You're too much trouble."

"How heartless of you, Hijikata-kun."

"But it would be pointless," Hijikata said, "They would call the police in a matter of hours and I'd be saddled with you in the end."

"What if they took me away in one of those spaceships?" Gintoki wondered.

Hijikata turned to him and followed Gintoki's gaze towards a flickering bright dot traversing the night sky. He pondered the question for a minute. Gintoki hadn't meant to trick him, perhaps only to coax a confession out of him. Hijikata offered him an honest answer regardless.

"Would you even want me to?"

Gintoki started.

"I figure there must be lots of places out there in space where even a reckless no-good idiot like you can make a difference. Kagura certainly thinks so. She told me as much before she left with those pirates the last time. I've wondered since then why you stayed," Hijikata blew out a long, deliberate cloud of smoke, "But I know now that the kid is here."

The chirping sound of crickets had replaced the singing cicadas as the night closed in. Hijikata turned to Gintoki in earnest, yearning to wade through the layers of regret he knew Gintoki had trouble shedding, but Gintoki gave him nothing.

"Didn't you want to go with her? Fly away from here? Isn't Earth a graveyard to you? A place you insist on haunting like a ghost?"

Gintoki remained silent.

"No matter how long you stay here you won't be able to see their faces again. Not until you cross over and join the ghosts yourself."

"Have I made you so privy to my thoughts?"

"No, quite the contrary."

"So these are the assumptions you make about me when you're away."

Hijikata scoffed, a short baffled laugh.

"When I'm away? What does that mean?" Hijikata wondered aloud. Gintoki opened his mouth to answer, but Hijikata carried on, having only paused to take a drag on his cigarette, "Well, I guess you're right. These are just the assumptions someone like me makes. Someone who, for the lack of a better word, feels like they are holding you back."

"You flatter yourself too much, Hijikata."

"I don't flatter myself so much I can't see things for what they are," Hijikata said somberly, "If Glasses and China weren't in the picture would you even be here now?"

He didn't receive a reply from Gintoki apart from a slight twitch of the eye.

"I know the role I have to play."

"Do you?" Gintoki asked.

"I'm waiting for you to realize yours."

"Would you mind telling me what that is, Mr. Vice-Commander? You seem so well-informed."

"No," Hijikata said, looking away, "I'd rather be selfish for a little while longer."

"You want Gin-san all to yourself, uh?"

Gintoki's tone was light and playful but his expression hid a deep sadness behind it. He was glad Hijikata had turned his eyes away so he could not see the heartache he had unwillingly set on him. Gintoki was sure that at that moment Hijikata would not be able to notice it, not because Hijikata wasn't observant enough but because he refused to acknowledge the pain he caused Gintoki - because he believed he was unable to produce it.

It was only later that night that Gintoki found the words to speak his part, in the dark shadows of their room. Hijikata had been changing clothes, swapping his yukata for his sleeping robe, when Gintoki tackled him from behind, wrapping two strong arms around his chest, pulling him close. He brushed his lips against Hijikata's ear before burying them in the crook of Hijikata's neck.

"Why do you have to be so fucking stupid, aren't you old enough to know by now?" Gintoki muttered exasperatedly, the anger he had been holding since their conversation on the porch left him in one breath, "Those ghosts from the past might be the part of me I can't get rid off, but you're the part of me I can't live without. I hate that you think you're not welcome inside my head and have to make up all that shit to let yourself feel small. I can make my own assumptions too, you idiot."

Gintoki tightened his grip around Hijikata's frame to stop him from fleeing.

"Do you want to hear them?"

"No."

"I'll tell you anyway," Gintoki said, placing the ghost of a smile over Hijikata's skin, "You can't bear to know I love you just as much as you love me. You tell yourself the opposite is true because you think you'll be torn between a life with me and your Shinsengumi. But I would never make you choose," Gintoki's arms slipped from Hijikata's waist, he stepped back and stared at Hijikata's exposed nape as he spoke, "I would never do that to you. You are free, just as I am. That's why I love you. Your embarrassing, mayo-loving ass would never dare chain me. You are so fucking dumb you'd have carried your little crush on me on your own and nursed it from afar if I had never given you a hint."

Hijikata hissed.

"Since when do you have a brain? I'm tired, I want to sleep."

"Yeah, let's. Maybe you'll dream of a new role for yourself. I know you will find the right one someday."

"Shut up."

"Like my own personal supplier of strawberry-flavored snacks," Gintoki suggested, pulling back the futon cover, "Do you even know the last time I had a limited-edition Strawberry&Cream Kit-Kat? Do you?!"

"It's a limited edition for a reason, dumbass."

"Or just simple strawberry milk?!" Gintoki's voice rose a notch, "Do you know how hard it is to keep it stocked in the fridge with Shinpachi counting every penny I make? You could have brought some with you like I asked you!"

"You sent me fifty messages, how was I supposed to keep track?"

"I sent you a list."

"Who do you think I am, Japan Express?!"

"You're rich. You could ask Japan Express to bring me some strawberry milk!"

"Paying taxes doesn't make me rich!"

"Please," Gintoki clicked his tongue, "You're on the upper echelon of the tax-thieving group, you're a public servant and you have insurance. That makes you rich! Therefore you should offer me, poor destitute minimum wage worker that I am, all the strawberry milk I desire!"

"Oi, aren't you ashamed of being like this at your age?"

"Aren't you ashamed of having your better-half begging you for strawberry milk in the middle of the night?"

"What did you say?"

"Nevermind what I said! I-" Gintoki faked a yawn and turned his back to go to sleep, "It's really late and I'm exhausted. All this talk of sugar content nobody provides me is depressing. Goodnight!"

Gintoki pulled the covers to his shoulders and buried half his face in his pillow, mimicking sleep. Hijikata didn't pester him any further, the discussion was over. Gintoki waited until his breathing evened out and his heartbeat regained a steady, sleepy rhythm, reassured by the warm body next to his, yet he did not realize the full extent of that warmth until he reached out a hand and brushed it against Hijikata's arm. He had wondered at the absence of sound in the room, at the lack of a sluggish breath to match his own and he quickly found out why. Hijikata lay beside him, still as a statue, cheeks flushed red and skin fiery with restrained emotion. Heat spilled out of him like smoke from a furnace. Gintoki turned towards him and inched closer. He wrapped his fingers around Hijikata's wrist and brought his hand close to his lips. He could feel it tremble under his fingertips.

"You runnin' a fever?"

"Weren't you sleeping?" Hijikata replied snappishly.

"Are you mad at me? Did I scare you?"

Hijikata's hand found its way to Gintoki's cheek and caressed his face. Gintoki leaned into the touch and tilted his head back as Hijikata's fingers ran through his silver curls.

"You and your big mouth," Hijikata's fingers clenched the hairs on the back of Gintoki's scalp and he pulled his head down, forcing Gintoki on his back, "Why don't you try and scare me," Hijikata said, chucking the covers away and climbing on top of Gintoki, his breath hitching and his buttocks pressing down on Gintoki's crotch, "And say that again inside me?"

Gintoki replied with sounds, unable to put words together. He grimaced as his blood rushed south and his cock twitched miserably inside his pants. Anticipation and desire choked him up, he was still speechless, grasping for words to reply, when Hijikata's robe fell down his back, exposing his bare skin in the dim lit room. Gintoki thought for a moment of their young companion, sleeping blissfully one room over, and then banished the thought from his mind. Hijikata's heat crowded the room, his naked body, hardened and stout in his prime, beckoned Gintoki to serve it. He was at its mercy. Hijikata made to pull down his briefs, to free the hot member trapped within, but Gintoki stopped him. He tugged Hijikata by the arms and drew his body close so Hijikata's bulge was an inch from his face. Hijikata gasped as Gintoki lapped at the stains of sweat on his briefs, teeth grazing the throbbing member.

"Only if you feed me first." Gintoki answered. He released Hijikata's throbbing cock from the fabric's constraints and caressed the hard length with his tongue. Hijikata doubled over and leaned against the wall above Gintoki's head, powerless against the grain of stubble grazing the tender skin of his inner thighs.

"You're so gross," Hijikata whimpered, hips trembling with effort so as not to buck into Gintoki's mouth, "The grossest… to ever.. l-live."

Hijikata looked down and watched as his cock disappeared into Gintoki's mouth, past lips smeared with precum and drool. Gintoki hummed low in his throat, content, rejoicing the desperate, muffled cries Hijikata tried to suppress against the wall, and succumbing to the haze of pleasure that emptied him of thoughts as he eased his jaw and pushed Hijikata's hard flesh to the roof of his mouth.

Perhaps it was the weeks of separation between them or Hijikata's usual cold and serious demeanor that hid the craving to be undone, maybe both, whatever it was, Gintoki would never tire of the way Hijikata's body made him feel, bare and primitive and alive. He wondered, as he sucked him dry, why Hijikata had never noticed it before; the way Gintoki worshiped his body when they were in bed, the way he had told him countless times with his body all the things he had put into words earlier.

"W-Wait, Gintoki, I-"

Gintoki didn't wait. He angled his head to welcome Hijikata's frenzied thrusts to the back of his throat, mouth slick and full, with nose buried deep into the mess of curly hair at the base of Hijikata's cock. His rich scent issued a wave of sizzling heat across Gintoki's body. He fought the urge to gag, mindless of the little slurping sounds he made as he swallowed whatever surplus of saliva he could until Hijikata spilled into his mouth, thick and hot. Gintoki released his hold on Hijikata's buttocks and watched Hijikata topple beside him, panting and spasming, the imprint of Gintoki's hands on his ass.

"That's a nice view." Gintoki said, wiping his mouth and patting the curve of Hijikata's back. He met Hijikata's blue eyes as he caressed him, thinking he would probably combust if Hijikata so much as blew on his dick.

"Mind if I tell you now?"

Hijikata scowled and grabbed Gintoki's erection which was warm and lonesome. Gintoki winced, regretting the neglect he had given himself. His cock seemed to sizzle in Hijikata's hand and once he started to stroke it Gintoki had to invoke three different gods to help him last long enough to tempt Hijikata's lips to kiss it. Gintoki tried to distract himself with Hijikata's ass, probing it for access and playing with his balls, but as soon as Hijikata's tongue whirled around his tip Gintoki was a goner. He came all over Hijikata's face, toes twinkling and back arching. He lost his sight momentarily as bliss washed over him, then he heard Hijikata curse, his grating voice rasping against his flaccid cock, though it quickly hardened again at the prospect of plowing Hijikata to the hilt.

Gintoki sat up and crawled over Hijikata's body, assessing him, the sweaty seams of his joints, the perky nipples, the disheveled hair that had once gathered in a V-shape over his forehead, the lips flushed red from biting, the pink tongue slipping out to wipe a drop of Gintoki's semen from his upper lip.

"For all your yapping you look pretty hungry for a guy who just sixty-nined me," Gintoki said, "Shouldn't we be more vanilla at our age?"

"Don't change the subject," Hijikata replied, grabbing Gintoki's chin and pulling him down to his lips, he stopped just a breath away, eyes boring right into Gintoki's as Gintoki opened them to demand a kiss, "No swapping spit until you do what I asked."

Gintoki groaned, cursing the way his cock twitched as it touched Hijikata's, the two wedged between their bodies, dripping and ready.

"I'll fuck you until the whole village hears us then." Gintoki replied angrily. He looked at Hijikata's face and cursed the smile playing on his lips, the mocking eyes that knew how much depriving Gintoki of his taste wrecked him.

Gintoki didn't take the kissing ban well. He grabbed Hijikata by the forearm and turned him on his back, belly against the floor, taking advantage of his overpowering frame, the raw, brute force he reserved for his deadliest opponents. Hijikata fussed, tried to return to their former position but Gintoki handled him like a doll, maneuvering his lithe body so as to push his tongue inside him without disturbance. Hijikata gasped and cried out as Gintoki prodded him open with his fingers, twisting and turning them farther than he had with his tongue and sending Hijikata reeling. He peaked fast, spurting hot liquid over the sheets. Gintoki watched satisfied from behind, his bulky frame shadowing Hijikata's exasperated face where tears of pleasure streamed down his face.

"Please." Hijikata moaned, pressing his ass against Gintoki's full erection.

Gintoki answered by interlocking their bodies, pushing the head of his cock into Hijikata, then, slowly, every inch, as far as he could. He was all in, going slightly crazy with the pounding heat around his cock when he realized he had forgotten to wear a condom.

Hijikata grieved as Gintoki pulled out, biceps tightening while his hands clenched into fists.

"You fucker-!"

"Oi, oi, calm down, I just forgot my buddy." Gintoki drawled, snapping the condom on and barely giving Hijikata time to prepare before he sunk into him again and drew out a starved gasp.

"That's more like it." Gintoki mumbled. He began moving, the familiar friction of their bodies spellbinding, coaxing a faster pace from him which he delivered proficiently, hitting Hijikata's sweet spots easily, for he knew the right angles to thrust into; he only missed the hot breath that usually mixed with his, the tongue that licked his bottom lip and showered him with a tenderness Hijikata didn't display often. Gintoki slowed to a halt and lowered his chest down to Hijikata's back. Still wedged into him, he began to leave a trail of kisses from shoulder blade to neck. Hijikata laughed, turned his head around and looked over his shoulder at Gintoki's pathetic expression.

"You're such a softie." he said.

Gintoki nodded without thinking, lips following their true course to meet Hijikata's.

"Only because it's you."

Hijikata's smile widened before disappearing into Gintoki's kiss. He turned around to wrap his arms around Gintoki and, in their best vanilla-fashion, they rocked each other to completion, with Hijikata's feet locked behind Gintoki's hips and Gintoki pushing into him over and over, melting the barrier between them, feeling nothing but Hijikata and hearing nothing but Hijikata's cries.