Bilba had never feared a place before.

Oh, she'd feared creatures that existed in specific places, like that awful spider back in the tunnel, but she'd never feared a place. Never walked on land so steeped in evil she feared any minute the very rock would rise up against her. It wasn't just her feeling it either.

Fili and Kili had remained deep in quiet conversation even as they'd found most of Fili's armor and a handful of his weapons. These had been scattered among the orc corpses and Fili's distaste at how they'd been "spoiled" was nearly as bad as his disgust at being forced to wear an orc shirt when they couldn't find his own.

The two had still been talking as they'd left the tower and continued up the path where it started again, on the opposite side of the bowl-shaped area the tower sat in. They had finally quieted but seemed happy, and Kili had certainly looked more at peace than she'd seen from him in a while.

At least until the same sense of ease and fear had begun to affect them as well.

The cold certainly didn't help. With every step they took the temperature seemed to plummet until the chill settled in her very bones. She wrapped her arms around herself in a futile attempt to ward it off, and clenched her teeth to keep them from chattering. Eventually she wound up walking between Fili and Kili, if not outright hanging onto them, trying to take advantage of their higher body temperatures. It helped, some.

The noise began so quietly that, at first, they didn't realize they were even hearing anything. It was simply a low background sound that they subconsciously registered and then discounted, relegating it to the same part of their minds that vaguely heard the wind or the rattle and crunch of rock and dirt beneath their feet.

There was no way to accurately judge the time of day with the eternal gray overhead so they stopped when they felt it might be about noon to have lunch. There weren't a lot of supplies left after the spider and the orcs but they shared out what they had and ate in tense silence. Bilba sat curled on Kili's lap as the cold rock made her shiver so violently she could hardly hold anything. It made it awkward to eat but they managed.

It was probably around then, when they had nothing to do but sit quietly and eat, that Bilba first started to consciously notice the noise.

"What is that?"

"No idea," Fili said. "Probably one more thing that wants to kill us."

"So optimistic," Bilba said dryly.

Fili shrugged. "I think I left my optimism in the orc tower."

"You mean the one I singlehandedly cleaned out?" Kili asked. Bilba elbowed him sharply in the chest and he gave a grunt before adding. "Almost singlehandedly."

They finished quickly, none of them particularly hungry but understanding it was important to keep their energy up. The last thing they wanted was to collapse from hunger at the base of Mount Doom and have nothing left with which to climb.

As they started walking again, Bilba settled in alongside Kili, and tried to ignore the vision of Lily walking on her other side. The small apparition had taken up the position shortly after they'd left the tower She didn't speak, just walked quietly alongside. When they'd eaten she'd stood just behind Fili's left shoulder and stared in accusation at Bilba.

It woke up the fear she'd carried with her since learning she was pregnant. The fear she'd repeat all the mistakes she'd made in the past and her sons would learn them from her.

The fear she'd fail as a mother.

It was ridiculous, she knew that. For one thing, Thorin would be there, as would Fili and Kili and Priscilla and Thorin's sister and any number of people. It wasn't all on her to raise her sons correctly. There was also the fact her sons would be individuals, capable of making their own decisions and choices, their own mistakes.

More than that, however, was the fact she knew better than to start blaming herself for something that hadn't even happened yet, and might never happen. She wasn't with them now but they were safe and she hadn't left because she wanted to. She'd gone to ensure their future, to make sure they had the time to make their own mistakes.

She hadn't failed them.

She also knew she hadn't failed Lily, because her inability to have more children wasn't her fault, and, obviously, because Lily didn't exist.

She couldn't be blamed for failing someone who didn't exist.

She knew all that.

So why was guilt and the conviction she'd already failed her sons beginning to slowly eat at her? It'd started shortly after entering Mordor, but she hadn't had much time to dwell on it with all the near-death distractions.

Now, with nothing to do but think, and with Lily as present as if she were another member of the group, she could do nothing but think.

"Orcs," Kili said suddenly and Bilba gasped, a bolt of fear racing through her.

Her gave her a guilty look. "Sorry, I meant, that's what the sound is we're hearing. Orcs."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Bilba said with a sigh. She frowned, listening to the sound that had grown to a low, constant rumble.

With Kili's claim in mind, she focused in on the noise, and felt her heart drop.

The sound wasn't just orcs, it was a lot of orcs. What they had been hearing was the noise of footsteps, voices, armor and weapons, carried by a massive group.

"It's an army," she whispered. "We're going to have to find our way through an orc army." She gave Fili and Kili a wide-eyed look. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll figure something out," Kili said. Bilba saw him glance at his quiver, now filled with a mismatch of arrows taken from the tower. She had a strong feeling it wouldn't matter how many he had, it would never be enough.

Still, she simply swallowed and gave a nod. It was only a few minutes later that they saw the end of the narrow canyon they were walking through. Past it, she could see nothing but sky, suggesting they were still fairly high and would need to make their way down to the valley floor.

As they got closer, Fili indicated for them to all stand pressed against the wall. They crept along, crouched low, until they were finally able to look out and see what they were dealing with.

It was nothing good.

Before them stretched the valley floor. In the distance, Bilba could see the peak of Mount Doom and, past it and partially blocked by its mass, the Black Tower. She could see the barest glimpse of a burning flame at the top of the tower, it sent a beam of light toward the ground, roving around like a giant eye searching for anything out of place in its domain. In any other circumstance the sight would have filled her with dread, but that would be any circumstance not involving a massive army of orcs spread out over the plains before them.

The path they were on came out on top of a shelf of rock as they'd suspected, the inside of the great stone walls that surrounded Mordor. A narrow, but well-worn path led out and down the shelf toward the valley floor.

There were no tunnels or overhanging shelves of rock, and absolutely no way for them to get down unseen, let alone cross the plain.

"Now what?" Bilba asked.

Fili sighed. "Let's wait for nightfall. Perhaps we can sneak across then."

Bilba highly doubted that but didn't comment. They were all exhausted, the land itself seeming to sap the energy from them. Fili and Kili picked a small, alcove like area along the edge of the path and Bilba took turns curling up with each one. The little warmth she'd generated through movement evaporated as she remained stationary and it wasn't long before she was shivering violently.

None of them felt like speaking.

Bilba, additionally, didn't feel like looking at Lily, who'd taken up position directly across from them and was staring at her with accusatory eyes. Her hands were clenched in fists at her sides and she looked every inch a child in the throes of a violent temper. Bilba wondered if her own mood were affecting the hallucination, or if it had something to do with the land itself, warping everything that entered it.

She shut her eyes to block out the image, and dozed quietly against Fili's chest. She'd like to say her dreams were pleasant but, instead, they were loud and chaotic, bright bursts of color and voices she couldn't quite make out. A few times she could have sworn she heard a female voice, familiar and yet one she'd swear she'd never heard before, trying to shout to be heard over the rest but it never got loud enough for her to make out the words.

She woke with a gasp when Fili nudged her. Her head pounded and a glance to the side showed Lily unmoved from her spot.

"Something's happening," Fili said.

Bilba straightened and saw Kili was several yards away, kneeling to look out past the exit of the path. A few minutes later he straightened and hurried back, crouching down before them.

"The army's moving out," he said, voice a low hiss. "If we wait, they'll probably clear out and we can walk right through."

"We've been doing nothing but waiting," Bilba muttered, struggling to get up. Kili grabbed her hand and pulled her up, then helped brace her as she waited for the blood to rush back into her legs. Once that was done she went with Fili and Kili to watch the army which was, indeed, on its way out. It was heading toward the gates, and Bilba felt her heart turn to stone at the sight.

"Where are they going?" she whispered.

"Nowhere good," Kili replied. "We need to hurry."

They needed to move, but had no choice but to wait for the bulk of the army to travel past them. It reminded Bilba of having to do the same while an orc army marched into Gondor and engaged in a war to end all wars.

She sincerely hoped she wasn't witnessing the same thing happening all over again.

It seemed like forever before the bulk of the army was past and they were looking at the orcs' backs as they marched off into the distance. They could hear nothing from that direction, no sound, nothing to suggest what might be happening.

Fili touched her shoulder and they moved out, keeping low and close to the ground. The last thing they wanted was for an orc to look back and see them. There was also no guarantee every orc had gone, or that there weren't stragglers coming behind.

They reached the valley floor and then there was nothing but a rocky, open plain standing between them and Mount Doom.

Bilba heaved a sigh and set her shoulders. "All right, let's get going."

Fili nodded. He shrugged the pack he'd been wearing off his shoulders and let it drop to the ground. "We'll move faster without it," he said in response to their questioning gazes. "We can get it on the way back."

Bilba nodded and she and Kili added their own items to the pack, anything they didn't absolutely need.

Then, there was nothing left to do but go.

It was an odd contrast of emotions. On the one hand, they were in a land filled with so much evil it had bled into the very rock, contaminating it in a way that would poison it for centuries after evil left, possibly for all time. An orc army marched to their left, heading to Yavanna only knew what, while ahead of them lay a tower containing one of the most evil beings to ever set foot on Middle Earth. Bilba felt a mixture of fear, dread, and the strange sense of bizarre failure that seemed to creep in no matter how much she fought to push it away. She also had to contend with the visage of Lily, who kept pace with them, her gaze darkening as if a shadow was slowly falling over her until it was less a little girl and more a wraith dogging their footsteps.

There was all that but, then, on the other hand, it was all just so mind numbingly boring.

The only sound was the faint moan of wind rushing through the cracks of the valley floor, the only feel the sharp points of rocks under their feet, and the general ache of weariness in their bodies. There was no conversation, nothing in the landscape worth looking at. At points, the unending sameness almost convinced her that they weren't moving at all but that some strange magic in the land had locked them in place, doomed to ever be walking but never arriving for all eternity.

In the end, as insane as it sounded, it was almost a relief to stumble on the orcs.

Bilba had long since lost track of how long they'd been walking. Surely, they must be into late afternoon or early evening at the very least, not that one could tell in the ever-present gloom. It did grow dark when it was true night but, aside from that, it was just the same dullness everywhere they looked.

She knew they were making progress only because Mount Doom grew ever closer, albeit slowly, as they walked forward. As it grew large enough to dominate the landscape all three of them fixed their eyes on it, hope starting to take over dread as they saw the end of their long quest finally in sight.

So maybe, just maybe it was forgivable that all three of them missed the way the ground suddenly dipped down into an unexpected hollow. Granted, it wasn't as if it were the first time it had happened, or even the tenth, but still...understandable.

The fact that the hollow held no less than ten orcs who'd apparently decided to desert from the army and were in the middle of a crude dice game was nothing short of their typical luck reasserting itself, and making up for the good luck they'd had back in the tower.

After all, what else could possibly account for that many orcs, or any orcs at all, being silent?

Things happened very quickly after that.

Ten against three were not particularly good odds, especially when she wasn't at all trained and didn't provide much more than a body with a sword she could barely use. They landed smack in the middle of the game, sending dice and sticks flying.

The orcs took several seconds to process, which was less time than it took for Fili to roar, "Run!"

Bilba's body reacted almost on its own, scrambling to her feet and lurching forward so fast she nearly fell. She regained her footing in time, however, and bolted, eyes fixed on the mountain.

They couldn't fail.

Not this close.

They just couldn't.

She could hear the shrieks of the orcs as they finally reacted, followed by the sound of them scrambling up to give chase. The world seemed to shrink, spiraling down to her own gasping breaths as she struggled to drag in enough air to keep moving, the footsteps of Fili and Kili as they thundered just behind her, and the cries of the creatures following them.

Just as she reached the base of the mountain she stopped hearing Fili and Kili behind her. She paused, and spun to see both with their backs to her, and weapons in hand.

"What are you doing?" she cried, panicked.

Fili barely spared her a glance. "It doesn't take all three of us to destroy the ring. Get it done."

Bilba froze. The orcs were nearly upon them, ten of them, fully armed, against two dwarves. Kili sent arrows flying at them, whittling the number down to eight but that was still too many and they would soon be far too close for him to fire any more.

He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her. "Don't worry, no one is planning to make any heroic sacrifices. Go on, finish what we came for."

Bilba hesitated, and then nodded sharply. She spun on her heel and started clambering up the slope of the mountain. The slope quickly became so steep she was forced to lean forward until she was practically crawling, back arched uncomfortably as she tried to keep her footing. She slipped several times, letting out cries of panic as she slid down, small rocks and grit tearing into her hands and arms before she could catch herself again.

A shout from below her, and she looked over her shoulder to see two orcs veering away from the battle with Fili and Kili and coming up the mountain after her. Cold fear settled in her gut and Bilba felt her eyes widen in horror.

The first one was nearly upon her, that was the shout she'd heard, coming from Fili who was trying to reach her but was being restrained by the orcs trying to kill him.

Bilba scrambled to pull her sword out of its sheath and swiped clumsily at the first orc as it reached her, trying desperately to remember the training she'd received so long ago. Her blade caught the creature across the face, opening a thin rivulet of blood. It shrieked, more in surprise than pain, and reared back instinctively. In any other area it wouldn't have mattered, but on the slope of the mountain it caused the creature to lose its balance and topple. It hit the ground on its back and slid, falling several meters down the mountain side.

A surge of pride flashed through her, and she couldn't help the burst of pride that swelled in her at the tiny, mostly accidental, victory.

Then a shadow fell over her and she remembered there had been two orcs coming after her.

She twisted, some old instinct from her training finally kicking in, gripping the hilt of her sword in both hands and driving the blade forward with as much force as she could muster. She felt the tip hit something that gave under it and she stumbled forward, barely keep her balance at the sudden movement. Something, perhaps the creature's knee, punched her in the side and she grunted at the blow.

Then she pushed back on the sword, regaining her balance and forcing the sword deeper. She looked up from the blade, and it was embedded firmly in the orc's chest, so tight in fact she doubted she'd be able to get it back again. She locked eyes with the creature, and grinned in grim triumph.

The creature, much to her surprise, sneered back. Then the light dimmed from its eyes and it collapsed, wrenching the sword from her grip as it did.

Bilba turned to go, and staggered as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She glanced up at the ledge overhead where she could see an entrance leading into the mountain. Lily stood on the edge, staring down at her, hair blowing in a non-existent wind.

Bilba took another step and her leg felt heavier than it had. Her side was beginning to sting as well, as if she'd been bitten by a particularly large insect and she glanced down with a frown to try and see what had happened.

The hilt of a knife was sticking out from her side.

Bilba blinked at it, and then blinked again, but the image remained unchanged.

She'd been stabbed.

Well, damn.