have fun with this :)


It was whole once... the alarm clock. The one that Robert threw against the wall three minutes ago. It was nice too... it projected a time onto the ceiling and had so many great qualities to it, but it is broken now. It is on the floor... in tiny parts. And the wall it collided with... well you could see into his bathroom now.

And somewhere in between those minutes... Robert found himself lying on his bed. The hoodie that he wore was still above one shoulder exposing his wounds and he needed to redress them and even though it should have been a priority, it is the last thing on his mind. Two pains. Emotional and physical. His shoulder feels like it is on fire... and so does his heart.

And no one is saying a word or has said a word since she left the room. Lucas eyes are filled with aggravation as they are on Robert. Victoria is looking between them both... confused, they aren't doing anything and it's messing with her.

"Do you two even care?" She breaks the void of silence. She asks as if they have a choice. To care or not. Of course, they care... Another two minutes pass. Lucas' eyes still at Robert's temple and he can feel them. Even though his eyes are closed, and he is facing the ceiling, Robert can feel the trained eyes on his face.

Victoria begins to walk out in hopes that she is still around. She doubts it but she wants to try.

"Give her a minute." He says to stop her, and she does, stop. Her face is scrunched in confusion.

"Give her a minute?" She laughs and shakes her head. "Give her a minute? She's probably at home by now and you two are standing there like nothing happened."

She can see his chest rise and fall deeply then he licks over his lips. His pain had traveled from his heart... to his shoulder, now to his head. "Just... give her a minute."

"Luke..." She looks to him wishing he would say something. He had just been standing still with his eyes on Robert as he bites the inside of his cheek. "She's gone and you two may forever be in her good graces, but I'm new... if I don't go ex-."

"She's not gone." He is confident in his answer.

She looks between the two again. "How can you be so... calm? Give me one reason that she would not leave. She walked out of here with a face that would make little orphan Annie cry and you're saying that she is not angry enough to leave?"

She is anxious. Andy was her first friend in Seattle. A relationship that grew so much in the past months and here she is... blowing it. It is frustrating her to see that he is lying on his bed and Lucas is just... in a trance. Neither of them moving an inch.

And there Robert is, still sensing his look of 'I told you so'...

"Whatever you gotta sa-..."

"You're an idiot." He doesn't even allow Robert to finish his sentence and it is silent again.

"Man..."

"An idiot, did you see her face? She didn't look you in the eye for five minutes..." He fuses "What was the fucking plan Sully? To build a couple of lies and see if they play out right?" Taking a few steps forward, he nudged his knee with his own. "A fucking idiot. I told you the night it happened to tell her... but no and Now look at you, in pain and... and stupid."

"Lucas." Victoria says taking hold of his arm. Robert's eyelids still shut, he knew it was coming, a reaction of his own wasn't needed and the ache about his body partially has his attention as Lucas snatches his coat from the bed and walks to the door.

"See I would've left if I were her... but I'm not.."

"She's probably already lef-.."

"She's still here... he was right about that, the only thing he was right about." The irritations never leaving his body. "She won't leave the estate, that's the last thing she'll do tonight..." He pauses for a second. "because she knows his dumb ass almost died..." And he leaves. Victoria follows behind him shortly.

He leaves and Robert's body is still limp on the mattress.

There is something that is scratching on the inside his head. It fades in and out and each time it comes... his jaw tightens.

"deep down do... do you hate me." It was the crack in her voice that broke him... it was the words that dug her nails deep into his wound. He would give his entire life to never hear the phrase roll off her tongue again. Anything. But it would not matter. It will still play again and again, audioed perfectly in his head, much like now.

Hate her? Why would she let such a thought wander her mind? Even if it was just in the heat of that moment and just grazed a wrinkle of her brain for a milli-second... He was protecting her. It is what he thought that he was doing, at least.

His confidence that she has not left is still there. Even so, she will not come near him. He knows that much. It has happened a few times in the past. They didn't speak to each other for a month once, but that was a different time.


Pushing the gear shift forward to park the car, she rested back on the headrest. She had been sitting there for forty-five minutes. That was forty-five minute of her foot pressed to the brake pedal, she didn't care for the cramp in her foot that was there for most of the time. Her ring, she had been twisting it constantly...

The vivid images of these physical reminders that are painted so clearly on his body will not stop haunting her brain. They are gashes... they just play and replay over and over again in her head and her eyes cannot help but to swam with tears.

A buzz to her phone. It is one of the three people... she is sure of it. And she doesn't want to talk or look or even breath their way. Then the buzzing stops. Then starts again and it is vibrating in her coat pocket.

She reached inside to power it off but did not being that it was neither of them. It was the only person in her range that she did not want to scream at. She hates to admit that she forgot about the person who accompanied her here. Her name is flashing across the screen with a picture of she and Andy. It is a facetime call, but she can't bring herself to slide her finger across to accept. But she also cannot bring herself to press the red button to decline. She doesn't even need to decide because the phone stopped ringing for a minute or two before it rings again.

Her face is a mess, and she knows that if one word slips from her mouth, her voice would be static. The ringing ceases again and she lets out a sigh. She needs a moment. A moment to stop the continuous images that play every time she blinks. A moment to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, but a moment isn't enough. There was another buzz, only this one was very brief. It was a text message, the same name that popped on the screen from the phone that can only call five people, Andy being one of them. Without even viewing the message, she knows it is in the form of a voice memo because even though the little girl is very intelligent, typing on a tiny phone screen is something that she struggles with. She has received many from over the past few months the second after her parents decided to give her the phone. Some just consisting of a simple hi Andy or some telling her about her day at school and many many other thoughts that grazes her mind daily. She opens the icon and presses the play button.

"Where did you go? I'm at home and you're not here." She had just woken up, Andy can tell from the whisper and sleep in her voice. It is so sweet and so tired.

She wants to think that she could leave if she wants, she wants to think that just because he is hurt, she can leave and not worry. But she would be lying to herself. All she wanted to do was go home... she just wanted to go home and sleep, wanted to forget about today, but she knew that was not happening for a while after tonight. She wishes that she could just scoop all the care that she had in her heart and put it to the side just for tonight...just for right now.

She will go back inside, but she doesn't want to see him.


"Andy..." Laying on her side as she faces the girl and Ella is doing the same. Andy's eyelids are just barely lifted but she is wide awake. There is a tiny thumb that moves against her cheek as she rests her face on the pillow and it was only aiding her weary. "Andy, are you sleeping?"

"Hmm?" She answers tiredly... although she is sure she will not get much sleep tonight... or any other of these nights to come for that matter.

"Are you mad at me?" This makes Andy frown... her eyebrows are deeply curved inward as confusion makes her eyes open a little more so Ella's face is more than a blob.

"Mad at you?" Andy asks and she nods, never removing her hand from Andy's cheek. "Ella... why would you think that?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "Because you brought me back home."

She gives her a smile and as weak as she knows it is, she hopes reassures the girl. "I'm not mad at you. I just came to get something... and I'm way too tired to drive us back to my house." It's a lie that a truth lies in. She is indeed tired.

"Are you sad?" She asks another question, and the only thing Andy could think is that she needs to work a little more on her own acting skills. "Are you sad that you didn't find your iPad?" It is a notion that makes Andy giggle. An alternate reason for her heartache that she would gladly trade with in an instant. Without thinking twice about her answer, Andy nodded...wishing it were true. "Well, you can use mine whenever you want. It has a purple case on and it's new. I had to get another one because mine broke."

Even though the room were dark, the only illumination being the small night light that sat across the room and the glow of the moon that crept through the curtain, Andy could see her innocence. "How'd it break?" Andy's asks barely above a whisper and she is rotating the ring on her finger again.

The conversation is safe... nothing that would lead to her tears or short breaths. She's calmed down for now. "It was in my brother's truck and I heard my daddy say that it was totaled... whatever that means."

And just like that it reverses, she holds her breath and her eyes shut lightly and allows a few seconds to pass. The weight of anguish suddenly sits heavily on her at the simple thought of a compressed truck... his compressed truck.

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes are still closed, and she can feel her heart beat all the way in the sole of her foot. It is beginning and she is choosing not to believe it. A kiss to Novella's forehead and she pulls the covers over her as she gets out of her bed. "I-I'll be back." She does not give her a chance to respond before she is out of the door and down the hall, hovering over a trashcan in the bathroom.

With a few minutes of gasping for air, somehow... someway, she pulls herself up to brush her teeth with a spare toothbrush and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes are red and dropped. Before she goes back into the room, she needs to get herself together.

Wiping her face with a tissue, she walks out as she runs her hands through her hair. The hallway is quiet as she goes to the one place that she knows that will give her the smallest sense of relief. A small spiral stair case that leads there and pushes the door open.

The last time she was here was three weeks ago... with him. The day after they discussed the separation plan. They were good. Great. Everything had been going well. Then this happens.

Maybe she is overreacting...

The windows are slightly fogged as it starts to sprinkle rain outside and she can see them so clearly. The entire room is transparent except for the floors. The furniture has changed a bit from the first time she'd come, but the colors were still calming.

There is still a turning in her stomach... and her chest burns terribly.

A wind behind her and the sound of the stairs creaking feathers her ear. She is sure that Lucas and Victoria are not here anymore, and Vladlena has gone for the night. Mila and Calvin are working, so that leaves only two people. And the weight that she hears is too heavy to be Novella's, so now only one.

She is holding her breath and didn't realize it until she was forced to exhale out of fear of passing out. With Each step he takes, her heart beats faster and she can't even see him. He takes the last step behind her and now there are only a few centimeters separating them. But she can't take it. His body heat is radiating to hers and she can't take it. Taking a step forward is what she tried to do, but his reflexes take ahold of her arm oh so gently and she snatches away immediately going deeper into the room.

"Andy." In a thin whisper.

"I don't want to." Her voice is low and hoarse, and she goes in front of a window as she looks outside at the backyard. Barely being able to see the heads of the city building behind the trees. He can so easily hear her soft sniffles and it's tearing him apart.

"An-..."

"I really... don't want to." And again, she fidgets with the ring.

She hasn't taken a look at him; she doesn't want to.

He takes a sigh... can't differentiate and tell if it's irritation, regret, or despair. It could be all three or none at all. Could just be a simple sigh.

"Well let me talk... you listen." She huffs and turns around to walk out of the door, but stops in her tracks, taking a small glance at the top part of his body and her heart falls. She doesn't look at his face... just his abdomen. It is bothering to know that his skin was once torn there and is only being held together by pieces of string... his shoulder wound is being covered by a bandage but the one below his rib is standing right in her face and his arm... Her words get stuck in her throat as she can taste a salty tear that has traveled to the corner of her mouth just as she had thought that's she had stopped them.

He takes a chance to take a step toward her. It does no good when she turns around and walks back to the window, wiping her tears.

"I love you, Andy... and I-..."

"Do you?"

And there it is again. The phrase from earlier, just simplified and asked differently and yet it still holds just as much effect. It hurts so much to hear it again, it tugged at the chambers of his heart and a fair piece feels like it has broken off. "Don't ask something like that..."

She nods her head and brushes her hand underneath her nose. "It's a valid question."

"Andrea."

"We were doing so good..." She bites her bottom lip, attempting to contain her emotions enough to finish her thought. "And I have never... never doubted your love for me, ever. Even when you lied to me about Princeton... I didn't doubt it."

The rain poured harder and it seems as if they are back at the morning after his birthday party. They've been here before.

"You know that I love yo-."

"I don't... I used to." He must take a deep breath and shut his eyes... it's all he can do. "Someone who does, would not withhold something from me like... like this. The-They would make good on their promises to not keep secrets from me and they would tell me the moment that they were able to and let me know that they got into a fucking car accident." Her breath stutters after the last word. "But... But you didn't."

"You don't understand..."

"Explain it to me..." He was about to open his mouth, but she speaks first. "If I were the one to get hurt... something as simple as bruising my shoulder, and I didn't tell you. You wouldn't talk to me for hours... a-and you'd wonder why I didn't tell you, but it's not that serious... But you..." She bows her head, and he can her an audible but a cry so soft... and she lifts it back up "When?"

It's one word, but he understands what she means. He doesn't want to answer. It will only make things worse. "That wasn't my intentions..."

"When?" She asks again. She must know, she has just been assuming dates and times, and none of them could be correct. "W-When?"

"Third." She rotates her head quickly to look at him. Her eyes go to his face this time. And it's the first time since they've been in here. His eyes are red... much like hers and he looks so exhausted. It makes her want to forget everything and rush over to hold him. Tell him that everything will be okay and everything that has happened, they will get through. But the date is what stops her.

"Sully..." She sighs his name in disbelief as her chin trembles and he moves forward slowly. "As... as in a-after the last day that we were in this very room?" She asks. "Th-The day you told me that you would never do anything to... to hurt me...?"

The lump that is already in his throat seems to have grown and it is hard to swallow. The back of his eyes felt as though acid had seeped through.

"Two weeks ago...The day before you called me.. a-and told me that you needed to go to New Jersey?" The puzzle pieces were everywhere then there is a light gasp... it's quiet and soft but her face isn't. "This was the day... the day you called me re-really late."

He is the one who can hear his own heart pulsing against his chest now. His eyes has not left her for one second as he watches her shed the few tears that she had left.

"A-and you told me that you... that you just wanted to hear the sound of my voice?" She asks him this, but she's sure. "I-I was right there on the other side of the phone and you didn't say a word about it..."

"I couldn't be the reason for you to have more dreams about me being in a grave." He admits and Andy is taken aback by the rise of his voice. It was more of a grit through his teeth, but he voice rose. "Come on now Andy... You know me better than anybody. If you tell me two days before something happens to me that I am the one to haunt your head at night when you sleep or when I forget to charge my phone, that you get a wave of a feeling that I'm not okay... do you really think that I will rush to you to tell you the one thing that you want to hear the least?"

"So it's my fault?"

"Don't do that..."

"I was mad at you!" She screams, turning her body to face his direction. "While you were here... broken and bruised... I was mad at you for something so small!"

"I couldn't do that to you..."

"You were in pain and I was mad because we didn't go on a stupid date..." He tries to take more steps towards her... tries to make them unnoticeable afraid they she will just turn away again. "I didn't pick up any of your calls... over a fucking steak and you almost died."

He's made progress with his walking... he's almost near her. "You had a right to be mad..."

"You were probably lying in the street a-and I was putting together a project in my stupid bedroom...do you know how... dumb that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry..." He takes one last step, and she doesn't seem to notice that he is in front of her. He tries something simple first. He removes her hand from her cheek and brushes the pad of his thumb across it, wiping her tears. "You have to believe that my intention was never to hurt you, Andy..."

She notices how close he is, and she gets another looks over his body... and she holds her gaze only briefly before looking away. And she is still playing with her ring. "I love you... so much and you knowing that... you feeling that is one of the most important things to me." He uses his finger to bring her face over and up so that she is looking at him and she complies. So much sadness and heartache in her eyes and she is feeling the burning in her chest again. "I wanted to protect you."

"You're not my father... you don't get to decide what I can and can not handle... you don't get to decide what to protect me from. We have understandings..." As she speaks, he moves her hair out of her face. "We've had these talks so many times... w-we don't keep secrets and we don't lie to each other."

"But I couldn't tell you. I couldn't because I know what it would have done to you." He rests his forehead against hers and they both can feel a wave of relief come over them. "I didn't want to tell you."

"You could have died, Sully..." They are much calmer. Their noses are barely rubbing against one another's. "You can't protect me from everything."

"I know..." She doesn't do anything, but she can feel his breath against her lips. "and I am so sorry... I've missed you..." The anticipation of his lips being on hers is softly killing her, but she is too stubborn to lean in further to allow their lips to meet, so he does it.

It's so delicate and long and she stands away from him a bit, worried that she will hurt him. Snaking his good arm around her waist, he brings her closer as she allows his tongue to slide in. It is a kiss filled with so much emotion as her hands are on each side of his face but she pulls away keeping their noses connected. He wants more, he isn't ready to pull away yet but he follows what she wants and stands there as she disconnects their noses.

She stays silent, but the sudden sniffle that he hears confuses him. She looks up to him a single tear slips away. "I love you... I do. So much. Sometimes I think I love you more than myself..." The ring. He notices that she is fiddling with it. "But when we are both on different sides of the country... I want to trust that you will tell me everything that happens over on your side and you would trust that I would do the same. The good and the bad. Everything." A bad feeling in his gut... and her stomach is turning once again and the pains in her chest have not ceases. "But I don't" Her shoulders shrugs and she wipes the ongoing tears. "I don't trust you."

"Andrea..." He whispers. He is staring at her hand, her finger specifically. "Don-..." And before he can say it... he feels the exact moment that she slides it off of her finger, and he look up at the wall. "Please..."

"I can't..." Shaking her head as her voice is low, she inhales sharply and takes his hand, turning it around to the palm. "I can't do this."

"No... no we don't do this." He whispers. "We don't walk away, Andy. I swear... "

"I'm so, so sorry... b-but I would have rathered you physically stab me in the thigh than feel how I'm feeling right now. You made me feel so... so insignificant, And I don't like it at all." Reaching up, she brings his face down and kisses him hard. Like it is their last. One, two, three, four times and she pulls away to hold their foreheads together again. "Please tell Ella that she can come over this weekend... I... I need a few days"

The rain is rolling down the windows so heavily and the wind is howling.

"Bab-..."

"I love you... and I need you to promise me that you will take care of yourself..." She folds his fingers over his palm and holds it there.

"We're not doing this, Andy."

"Please..." she begs him to make a promise. "Swear to me."

"I won't... I won't do this." There his accent is... slipping out as he refuses to let her go.

"Robert... I'm leaving." She speaks softly. "And I really need you to promise me that be-because I will not be able to focus on anything if I don't know that you are doing everything to your best abilities to keep yourself healthy."

She can't take her eyes off of his and as painful as it is to see the two tears stroll down his face, she needs him to say it to her face.

"Promise me, Sully." She reaches her hand up to wipe his face after she wiped hers. "Please..."

"...Will you come back?"

"I just need to clear my head... give me a week."

"I'm sorry... I d-."

"I know... just tell me that you will take care of yourself when I leave out of this room.

He just stares at her. He pushes back the more tears that are threatening to fall and hesitantly nods. "I love you..."

"I love you."

And one last kiss before she walks out of the door and he is stuck...

And it was whole once... her heart. The one that he continues to break over and over again. It had so many great qualities, too. It projected onto everyone like the sun radiating from the sky but now it's broken. It has been through so much, but this... this feels like the end.


so how's y'alls day going?