Episode 33
"Why does Fukuzawa follow the bloodstains? That's like horror movie rule number one of things not to do!" Dazai points out.
Fukuzawa exhales. "I would do that in real life as well. What if a person or an animal was hurt?"
Dazai shrugs. "I'd be suspicious at that point." He says. "It's too convenient."
"Death to the Gifted. An eternal slumber in the soil, from which there is no returning." The masked man intones.
Kunikida looks at Mori. "Your nihilist friend again?"
"Poe wrote that one, actually."
"So the Port Mafia will go after the Gifted hunter, then." Atsushi postulates from reading the script.
"In a way, yes." Mori replies.
"They don't succeed, do they?"
"Nope!" Mori grins.
"You realize this means YOUR organization fails, right?" Fyodor says slyly.
"Already thought of that." Dazai sighs. "He doesn't care."
"Damn."
Kajii pops his head into the props department. "I hear we get to set a car bomb!"
"No." Ango says immediately. "You are not helping."
"Please~"
"No."
"I won't blow anything up for a week!" Kajii wheedles.
"Fine but we're checking the bomb before we use it."
"YES!" Kajii does a dance.
Gide grimaces. "I never knew Kajii could dance like that, nor did I want to."
Odasaku nods. "Wow."
"I have no idea who the attacker could be." Dazai admits, looking at the script. "What did my character figure out?"
"Sometimes I question why you got picked to play this role." Kunikida sighs.
"I bought Mori a really expensive bundt cake."
"And that would do it." The glasses-wearer rubs his temples.
Hawthorne walks into the lounge braced for chaos. And chaos he gets.
Elise is riding on Ranpo's shoulders and directing him to charge at Kajii, who is balancing a flask of something that bubbles as he runs. Akutagawa, Chuuya, and Gin are playing Rummy 500. Chuuya has a stack of empty wine bottles next to him. Fukuzawa and Tachihara are petting tiger-Atsushi, who is purring sleepily. On Atsushi's other side is Gide, who has one hand in the tiger's fur and one with a book. Odasaku is reading over Gide's shoulder. Dazai is running from Kunikida, who is waving his notebook and yelling at him. Yosano is cleaning her implements and Kouyou is sharpening her blade next to her. Lucy is chugging a gallon of cold coffee like a crazy person, with Poe, Kenji, and Kyouka cheering her on. Fyodor is smirking creepily and muttering to himself, examining a knife. Hirotsu is smoking in a corner, looking utterly done with everything.
Hirotsu looks at the reverend. "Welcome back."
"Can't say I didn't expect this…" He sighs, but smiles. "It's been some time since such mayhem has been so welcome."
"You missed us, admit it." Mori grins.
"I did." He agrees. "Except for Kajii."
Kajii stops running. "HEY!"
Ranpo and Elise tackle him, making him drop the flask he holds. "TAKE COVER!" He yells.
Everyone stops what they were doing to duck behind something. Hawthorne dives behind the doorframe.
BOOM!
The actors all peek out from behind their shelters. "And this is why I did not miss Kajii." The reverend deadpans. "This right here."
Fyodor walks on set in his police uniform. "Hands up!" He barks.
Atsushi instantly follows his command, as do Akutagawa, Gin, Tachihara, Gide, Kajii, and Chuuya.
"Those of you with your hands up, you've been in trouble with the law." The Russian pulls off his hat. "I didn't expect Atsushi to react."
"I spent time in juvie after the tiger attacked someone when I was 12." He admits.
"Oof." Kyouka mutters.
"It was not that bad actually."
Mori holds up the prop knife. "So I get stabbed with this?"
He stabs himself in the gut and falls over, bleeding.
"Get Yosano!" Gide yells. "Fyodor switched the knives!"
"Do you actually need those glasses?" Kunikida asks Hawthorne.
"I'm wearing contacts for this part."
"Makes sense. I hate contacts."
"They are not fun, no. But I'm getting paid."
"Dazai looks dumb in that hat." Lucy says from offset.
Dazai frowns. "Do not!"
"Yes you do." Fyodor adds.
"CUT! You always look dumb, why is this news!?"
"What the hell is in this Book that everyone wants it so badly?" Atsushi asks.
Mori scratches his chin. "It makes whatever's written in it reality."
"It's not real, and I am so glad because that scares the shit out of me." Akutagawa says warily.
"That is terrifying, yeah." Atsushi agrees.
"So, this viral Ability…" Kunikida starts.
"Not real. We're just using lights to fake it." Mori replies.
"Oh thank god." He sighs explosively. "That Ability would not be safe to film."
"Hey, I do have SOME standards."
"You hired Fyodor." Kunikida deadpans. "And Kajii."
"I said I had some, not a lot."
Kunikida groans.
"Fyodor wants the Book to get rid of Abilities forever?! Why?"
"That's how his character rolls." Mori says.
"I like the tiger though."
"And I like Elise. It's just a story."
"Why has nobody thought of finding the Ability-user and making him stop the Ability? That's what I would do." Atsushi queries.
Mori sighs. "Don't ask too many questions. That comes later."
"But-"
"Who writes the paychecks?"
"Fiiine."
"Wow, Ranpo is really fired up this time." Gin says in awe.
"Well, his character admires the president, and this is his moment to help the man."
"I guess. It's just rare for him to be in such fine form in his acting."
"He likes this job and wants to not be fired." Yosano says. "This is his time to prove he should be kept on."
"Mori threatened him, huh?"
"Yep."
