I guess I should say that this fic can be a nice example of why you should face your demons and talk to people?
Enjoy!
M
Chapter 75
Friday, November 16, 2012.
All those days later, and Jack's still stuck with the mixed thoughts about one Samantha Carter. Jacob might be right. The calls that seem to make her smile happen close enough to school ending to be from Parker. He tried to remember if that was the situation the first time he saw it happening, but he couldn't remember.
All he could remember was how she kept glancing at the watch and at her phone. As if waiting for the call to happen. So, it might have been worry about Parker.
Since Jacob had left for San Diego the following day and back to the Tok'ra a few days later. Jack had wanted to ask Janet what she knew.
Yes, things were different now. Sam was the senior officer. However, as the SGC CMO almost from the start, Janet had seen, faced, and survived more COs than Jack himself. Heck, Janet had survived him too. So, it wasn't really all that surprising that the petite Colonel had found a way to get to a half-decent friendly state with Sam. Vala helped too.
He had seen the trio sharing coffee several times. He also knew, thanks to the rumor mill, that those moments made the whole crew a little more open to their General. Which was most likely why Sam had agreed on most of those short meetings.
Daniel was still having issues with getting back to the friendship he and Sam once had. He couldn't blame him, probably she didn't either. He had the experience of mourning Daniel and having to take him back only a year later. It had cost him way more than he was willing to admit. It was easier too, mostly because the space monkey couldn't remember a damned thing.
Now, their thing… Their thing needed more than just a warming up of an old friendship. Their thing was two bonfires that needed to be tamed and made whole again. That wouldn't happen if they couldn't face each other.
He kept his ears open after his talk with Jake. He didn't care if they never were good at talking. The only thing he really needed was the confirmation that she was single. Well, not with someone else… Since single, he knew she wasn't. Maybe even the confirmation that she didn't want to settle for a divorce. That she somehow wanted to still be his and have him as hers.
"God, Sean is right! You're an old romantic fool!" He mumbled, remembering his younger brother's jokes. He got a call then. She was on her way out. So, he rushed to the top level and waited for her by his truck.
Sam walked out of the mountain and towards her SUV. She truly didn't expect to find him there. Yes, she thought it was funny, how after all they had gone through, she still had a parking spot right next to him. It was some sort of destiny's joke, really, that the HWS CO parking spot was right next to the SGC CO parking spot.
She shook her head. She hadn't bothered to try to change it if only to avoid more rumors spreading over something as silly as a parking spot. But now, seeing him watch her intently while leaning against his truck. She thought that was a bad move on her part.
Truth was, he still took her breath away. So, she had to concentrate on walking so she wouldn't end up falling face-first to the floor. Making a huge fool of herself. She gulped when she noticed the way he was looking at her. As if he was undressing her with every step, she took closer to him.
"We need to talk." He husked.
She figured that his mind was as much in the gutter as hers. She nodded. He got into his truck and drove away. She followed him. On her way, she called home to let Parker know she would be late.
They parked side by side in his driveway. He opened the door for her. His house was cool, and she smiled. It brought back fond memories of standing in his cabin bedroom trembling under the cool Minnesota air.
"Let me turn the heater on. It's fairly quick." He said. Getting rid of his jacket and prompting her to do the same.
"Thanks." She eyed his floor and turned towards him. She had once taken all the things for granted, but now she knew better. "Should I take my shoes off? Or don't you mind?" she asked. He shook his head.
"It's just a floor, Sam. If you want the shoes off, the floor is heated." She stopped all movement. He called her Sam. "What?"
"Nothing." She said and got rid of her shoes. He frowned. Dark socks. The last time he saw her in socks at his house, they were bright and colorful. Just like she was. Now, the dark tones of her socks, followed by dark tights, a dark skirt that flung from a trim waist, and a black shirt that hugged her tightly. The whole ensemble combined perfectly with the heaviness in her eyes.
"You wanted to talk?" Sam ventured out. Jack nodded. She set a tentative foot on his floor. Moaning from the warmth that bathed her foot. Jack froze, his brain short-circuited. He took a step closer and then another until he had her backed up against his door. She smiled.
"One day I'll know what is with you and doors or walls," her eyes glinted mischievously, and her hand found his head. Without much of a thought, she lowered it. Kissing him hungrily. He groaned against her, pressing her tightly between his body and his door.
Her leg came up, snaking itself against his hip. Bringing him closer, feeling him grow. She undulated her hips as he pushed her blouse up and out of the way. Kissing glorious soft skin. Her head made a loud thump against the door. She moved it back, pressing her chest closer to his caressing mouth. Her hand making its way to free herself from the restriction of her bra.
As his mouth wandered towards her throat, her hands found the way towards his pants. Fighting with his belt, then his fly and the stupid, stupid button of his pant. She left out a frustrated whimper. His hand replaced hers on the task.
Her skirt was bunched up then. Her black woolen tights were lowered next, taking the scrap of fabric that she called underwear with it. Each new piece of skin that appeared was thoroughly lavished. Until Jack was on his knees in front of her. He looked up. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was just waiting for him… For whatever he wanted to do with her.
Was it really a surprise that the trust was still alive between them?
He kissed her heat and explored her as he hadn't done in years. One hand found a powerful thigh and pulled it up over his shoulder. He kept going, teasing and taunting moans and shivers out of her. Until she had exploded under his touch.
She lowered her leg on the floor. He noticed it trembling as they gave out under her weight. She slid against his door. Eyes searching his. She smiled.
"I'm not that young anymore, how about a bed?" she said.
"I'm not sure I can stand." He added.
"Hmm… What a predicament." She grinned. Sucking her lower lip, she pushed him backward until he was laying down on his warm floor. "I guess we can make the most of the heated floors."
She straddled him. Sam knew he loved it when she was on top. Letting him see how she rocked into oblivion, bringing him along for the ride. He didn't need much to come. He had spent too long without the kind of release, only sex could provide. Too long teasing himself with memories of her doing exactly this.
Her hips trembled, her body flushed red, and she bit her lip as she threw her head back and clenched him tightly. He spilled before he could think about his release. It was too much, and it wasn't enough. She collapsed on top of him. His hands found her back, caressing her slowly as she cried.
Why she was crying? He had no clue, but he knew she was. The place where her cheek was hiding on his chest was soaking wet. It hadn't had anything to do with their previous activities, right? He wanted to cry, too. He was too confused by this.
When he said they needed to talk. He actually meant talking, not fucking. But heck, they were always bad at talking. He also knew they were so damn good at the fucking. So, the outcome wasn't as surprising. She peeled herself off of him after a while. Moving away with her back towards him. She picked up her discarded clothes and got rid of the skirt that was still scrunched up around her waist.
She disappeared inside the bathroom. When she reappeared, she was almost dressed. The skirt was in her hands, but she looked exactly like the cold Sam he'd met just after her arrival.
"Do you have an iron? I can't go home with this looking as it is." He nodded and walked her to where he kept those things. It was strangely odd, the domesticity of watching her ironing her skirt. When he knew it was mostly because he had ruined during a quick romp. She finished. He watched as one long leg slid inside, followed by the other. Finally, the flowy fabric was sitting in its rightful place once more.
She bit her lower lip. Feeling self-conscious and guilty for allowing this to happen again. It was bad enough the first time around. When she could barely watch him without thinking about how good he had felt under her… Inside her. Things were far more complex than sex for them. They always were.
"Is there someone else in your life?" He asked, out of the blue. He wasn't sure where did the strength to ask that had come from. The question was out there for her to answer.
It felt like a slap for her. "No." she answered a bit bitterly. Angry that he had to ask. Annoyed that he didn't know her enough to know she wouldn't ever betray someone she was with. Her love for him notwithstanding.
He left out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He didn't know what else to say, though. Not when he saw the pain in her eyes and knew he had caused it with his doubt.
"Do you want a divorce?" he asked then. It surprised him when the lone tear fell from her eyes. She didn't answer. She walked past him, not even acknowledging the question. "Sam!" he called.
She stopped and turned to look at him. She was barely holding herself together, but he still had power over her. She still needed him to fix what she couldn't. Not when he held the pieces of her broken heart. She crooked her head expectantly. What if he couldn't help her? What if she was broken beyond repair? Could she keep going like this? Like the half-person, she'd become? She fisted her hands tightly. Knuckles turning white and nails biting into the inner skin of her hands.
"Is this enough for you?" She asked. Her voice cold, devoid of all the emotions that were eating her up inside. She wasn't sure what this was at that point. But maybe he knew.
"This? Having you but not having you at all?" He wondered. She gulped. "I'll take anything you give me, Sam. You know that…" Jack whispered. She nodded and turned around. Only stopping to get her shoes on again. She needed to think.
She drove away, but she didn't go home. She was conflicted. Broken. She needed time to clear her mind again. But time seemed to be the only thing she never had any more. She had fucked Jack. What was she trying to do? Find a way to slowly kill each other until only one of them left? Until one of them could find a way to be free from the other?
Watching him hurt… Not having him hurt… Everything surrounding Jack O'Neill hurt her like hell. Everything surrounding Jack O'Neill was also the cure. She was more human when he was around. She knew he could see that part of her that was hiding inside. The part of her she couldn't reach by herself anymore. She could see that he had figured out her feelings, even when she'd tried to hide them.
Did he have a chance of saving her from who she'd become? She shook her head. He accepted her when she was a soldier. A warrior with no issues as to getting rid of an enemy. No qualms as to dirty her hands with blood. Could he accept her as the plotting mastermind? The smarmy asshole she'd become as she toyed with the lives of hundreds to return to this place and not even live?
Her phone went off then. It was him. She considered for a second not picking up. As she leaned to pick the phone, she failed to see the truck that had run the red light. Her phone went flying out of the cracked window as her SUV rolled, stopping on its side. Everything went black.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Her heard hurt. Her instincts told her that Sam was trying to answer Jack's call. When the truck crashed into her. According to the people who brought her in, the witnesses had said; she wasn't even speeding. Something distracted her and by the time she noticed the truck, it was already too late.
Sam's SUV turned twice on its axis. Luckily for her, it was only a few blocks away from the fire station. So she was pulled out in no time. Her tags were a dead giveaway of who she was. Her unconscious body was halfway to the hospital when someone redirected them towards Cheyenne.
So, Sam was rolled up onto the cargo elevator and straight into level twenty-one. Where Janet and her team took over quickly. A CT pointed to a large concussion, but no other big injuries. By then, swelling and bruising were already in process. Janet just knew Sam would be in pain for several days.
Now, what had really caught Janet's attention, once she knew her friend and boss was out of danger. Was the ring that hung along with her dog tags. Janet was sure she hadn't seen it before. She knew better than to try to pry. If Sam wanted to come clean about it, she would in her own time. Thus, she had warned all the personnel who had seen it that if she heard even an attempt at mentioning it. She would have their asses out of the SGC in no time.
There were other issues, too. The crash had happened around ten pm. They found her phone close by. With a missing call from a number, she knew all too well. Jack's personal number.
With the fact that Sam was out, they needed to bring Jack up to speed. He would be needed to take over command, in case any other emergency happened. It would also make it easier for Janet to try to figure out what had happened here. The guilty expression on Jack's face told her he knew something he wasn't disclosing.
There was a whole other issue to be solved as well. Sam was a single mom. Despite having a Jessica, Parker was for all intents and purposes… Alone.
