The morning was pale and cold on the mountain, the sun not having risen quite yet but it's light beginning to illuminate the land in soft shapes. Andra mulled over her thoughts as she renewed the fire in the pit before her with wood she had gathered last night. She felt herself coming to a decision and she didn't know yet if she liked it, but she knew it was the right choice.

Solas stirred just as the sun crested the horizon to the east, sending out its brilliant gold light to chase away any lingering evening blue. It warmed Andra's skin and set her resolve in stone. The uncertainty of last night was gone.

"On dhea," Andra said as her companion sat up on his bed roll, stretching out any stiffness from sleeping on the ground. She handed him breakfast as he crawled out from under the small tent.

Despite the recent tension, Andra couldn't help but think fondly of the last few weeks. Ever since that morning in Arlathan Forest, the two of them had often spent the night in each other's arms. She reveled in that feeling. Of his warmth and gentle touch. There was no way to explain how happy she felt to sleep at his side and wake up there. It made her feel safe.

It made her decision sting.

After they had both finished eating, she knew there was no reason to put it off any longer. "Solas," she began, trying to keep her voice steady.

He turned to her, curious, "Yes?"

"Do you remember what you said to me in Denerim? About giving anything to restore our people? And that you wanted to fix the problems you've caused?"

He seemed to hesitate a moment, then, carefully, "I do."

"What does that mean?"

He tilted his head as he looked at her, as if wondering whether to answer. "It is exactly how it sounds," he finally said.

"But... your words make it seem as if you're the reason all Elvhen have suffered..."

Solas' expression remained stoic, "Because I am."

"That doesn't even make any sense. You realize you're claiming responsibility for what all Elvhen blame Fen'Harel for?" But even as she said it, her mind was already drawing the conclusion that had always been right in front of her. "Are... are you saying that you are Fen'Harel?" She didn't know what to make of that thought. Somehow, it felt right as she said it, but also impossibly ridiculous.

He looked at her sadly, "Would that make you think different of me?"

"What?" The thought had never crossed her mind and was even more absurd, "No! Solas, I have never looked down upon Fen'Harel—even as a Dalish. I've read and seen enough history to know that people demonize others to make reality easier to swallow, or even to hide their own sins. And no one is free of them. Nothing is ever so black and white; you've said as much to me before. I just..." she sighed, this wasn't how she had expected this to go and her mind wasn't entirely on board yet. "I can't speak on anything you've done, Solas. I wasn't there, and I won't pretend to know what's right. I just want to know what you mean when you say you'll do anything to restore our people—because the word feels a bit... drastic."

He eyed her contemplatively, "Walk with me."

Andra was confused but obeyed and followed him up a short walk to the summit of the peak they were camping on. He gestured towards the distance and leaned against his staff. "Do you know what that is?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Skyhold?" They were quite close to the fortress. If they trudged through the snow for the rest of the day, they'd reach the gates just before nightfall.

"Yes, but beyond that." She stared at him with confusion as he continued, "Did you know that many people have occupied this place over the years? It's changed hands many times, even dwarves have taken residence behind its walls. But before that, before even the Human Chantry existed to count the years, and long before that too—it was a nexus for rituals amongst our people. At the height of our civilization. And for a time, it was even mine." He paused, dawning a thoughtful expression as he reminisced and looked out over the expanse..

"This is where I erected the Veil," he finally said after a moment. Andra opened her mouth to reply but he cut her off to explain, "I once told the Inquisitor that the name Skyhold—Tarasyl'an te'las—came to me in the Fade. That I knew of this place because it burned like a beacon there, spirits drawn to it." He smiled, "That is true, but not completely. I have always known of this place; but it is my actions that draw such strong power here. It pools and seeps into all it touches. And it is those actions that have given this place its name." He trailed off, his eyes searching for something that wasn't there. "If I hadn't been so careless... If I had just planned better... our People would not still be suffering."

"What do you mean?" Andra asked.

Solas replied, "I didn't have the strength to open the orb myself when I awoke from my long slumber, but I hadn't accounted for Corypheus uncovering the secret of effective immortality. He was meant to die in the explosion at the Conclave, Andra. Then I would have used the Anchor to tear down the Veil myself."

Silver eyes widened, "Tear down the Veil?!"

"It is the only way to restore our people."

"And what would that do to the world? Everything would be in chaos!"

"Not eternally."

"How many would die?!" She saw the look in his eye and knew his resolve was unwavering. The orb was destroyed but that didn't mean there wasn't another way to accomplish his goal. So she tried something more personal, "What if it killed me?"

He was silent, expression sorrowful but resolute. She saw it then—that Solas believed this path to be just in the name of all Elvhen and her life was small in comparison to the greater picture. A part of her admired how much he cared and how far he was willing to go, but a larger part felt appalled and hurt. Did he really even know if it would work? What if all perished? Did it even matter?

Tears stung her eyes but Solas could only look at her, forlorn.

"When you said anything, you meant that, didn't you?"

"I made a mistake, Andra. I need to undo what I've done." There was pain in his voice as he spoke, "Creating the Veil took everything from me; took everything from all Elvhen. I slept for such a long time while I regained my strength, but when I awoke... You can't even begin to comprehend my distress at seeing the state of the world—of seeing how far our people had fallen. I acted out irrationally over the death of a friend and all have suffered for it."

"Solas..." She didn't know what to say, but the situation had finally solidified in her mind—he truly was Fen'Harel. It seemed almost poetic that she would unknowingly fall in love with the Dread Wolf. All those years spent silently defending him, feeling a pull towards the outcast. In a way, she felt a kinship with him in that regard. Neither of them truly belonged anywhere. Her clan loved her, but she wasn't born as one of them. And now, after all she'd done... She didn't know if she could ever go back. She didn't know if she wanted to ever go back.

"You must think less of me after this, but know that I won't stop until I've set this right. I deserve to be punished for my actions, but not yet."

"Solas... I understand your pain, I really do, but can't you see that this isn't a world worth destroying? Look at what we've accomplished—look at how far our people have come!"

"Look at how far they have fallen!"

She flinched.

"No place to truly call home. Run out by Humans and Dwarves and Qunari alike. Abandoning everything we were just to survive because they have no choice!" He turned away from her, "You saw it in your dreams, did you not? Arlathan. We could be like that again! That's what I'm trying to do."

"We can get there without killing everyone in the process, Solas," Andra said. "I want to see us as more than just vagrants to the other races, but not if it means the death of those races. What accomplishment would that even be? To return to our apex only because elves would be all that's left..."

He faced her, resigned, "Ir abelas." Even as he said it, however, she knew there was no changing his mind. He would go through with this, no matter the consequences.

"I don't condemn you, Solas," Andra said after a moment of silence stretched between them, "but I want no part in it either."

"I know," he answered, "I never wanted you to be. It was selfish to have given into you but... Ar lath ma, vhenan."

Andra smiled sadly and spoke the words softly back to him. She knew he meant it, as did she, but this was a path she wouldn't tread. She did, however, kiss him one last time, to remember how it felt and maybe as one last attempt to persuade him. It didn't work.

Then, they parted ways.

Solas packed and left camp first. He knew there was no way to convince Andra to come with him, she had made her choice. But he also knew that if he made any discovery that pointed to her as the key he was searching for, he'd be back. The thought tugged at his heart and he cursed himself for letting his emotions control him when there was so much more at stake—but he knew, in the end, that if it came to it, Andra's life for all Elvhen would be a worthy sacrifice. No matter how much it would destroy him to go through with it.

As Andra watched him go, she felt cold. It wasn't the mountain air that left her feeling that way, it was the loneliness. She had no one now. Even the thought of finishing the rest of the journey and returning to Skyhold left a bitter taste in her mouth. Not that she had a reason to anyway. She loved her friends, but she didn't know if she wanted to be around people right now. Her heart was broken and the last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone about what had just happened.

So she packed her own things after some hours had passed and she had recollected herself while staring off in the direction Solas had left. A part of her wanted to run after him, but a bigger part said she made the right choice. So with enough distance between them that she wouldn't change her mind, she set off down the mountain as well.

She didn't know where she would go yet, but right now, it didn't matter.


ELVHEN USED:

On dhea: "Good morning"

Tarasyl'an te'las: "The place where the sky was held back" (Skyhold)

Ir abelas: "I'm sorry"