This is a short chapter. In the past I wrote longer ones but the updates were slower, now I will update more quickly but the length of the chapters will vary.

Let me remind you that this story is a(nother) sequel of In The Dark so it refers to what happened there.

Thinking about it, it can also be considered a sequel to The Will Of Fire, my second fic, that is Itachi and Shisui centric, with dark Shiita content and very evil Danzo. I tend to consider certain details and events as 'canon behind the screen', that, basically 'happened' but they're too adult oriented to be mentioned lol.

Forgive any mistake, I'm not a native English speaker. Google Doc is now also correcting my grammar, I'm sure it's right but certain things sound so weird to me now.

On a different note, I saw Chomai's shisasu fanarts, especially one, on twitter and wow. So in love. Such beautiful things inspire me to write this pairing even more.

More notes below.


"If I don't go crazy, I'll lose my mind
I saw a life before me but now I'm blind" (Death In Vegas, Leather)


"I did it...I killed him".

Sasuke replied promptly. Just as promptly Shisui jumped on him, pinning him on the ground, a knee on his stomach.

"Why the hell did you do it?"

Sasuke understood why enemies were so afraid of him: he had never seen his cousin looking so scary, but, of course, when he was a child he hadn't done anything really bad.

He hadn't killed his cousin's best friend.

He hadn't killed the one his cousin had loved more than anything and anyone in the world, even more than his own family.

He hadn't killed the one who, for his cousin, had been more than a relative and more than a best friend.

Because Shisui and Itachi had loved each other.

Even in their war torn world, even not knowing how to love, since their mothers and fathers couldn't afford to show them, and they only had each other to figure it out.


Sasuke opened his mouth but the words didn't come out.

I killed my own brother, the one I loved the most, because I was too stupid to understand that everything he had done was to protect my useless self.

Shisui put one arm on his throat.

"Answer me!"

He growled.

"He told me to…"

Sasuke managed to whisper.

"What the hell are you saying? He loved you more than anything!"

Shisui screamed, punching the boy in the face.

"He loved you more than he ever loved me!"

He furiously punched him again, and again.

"He loved you more than he ever loved me!"

Sasuke didn't even realize that he was repeating Itachi's words from the massacre night.

"If you want to kill me, despise me, hate me, and live in an unsightly way... Run, and cling to life, and then some day, when you have the same eyes as I do, come before me..."

Shisui couldn't understand as the younger's voice was broken and barely audible and what he said made no sense, he was just confused and livid and desperate and he couldn't stop hitting the boy, until he did, only to grab his throat again with both arms.

Sasuke didn't even try to stop him and free himself.

He should have told him the whole story but he couldn't. Besides, why should he?

If this was his moment so be it.

Itachi had given him life sacrificing his own but this was a fair end for him.

It wasn't different from what Itachi had wanted, to die by his hands.

It was only right to pay for his sins with death.

It was only right to die by the hands of another Uchiha.

It was only right to die by the hands of Itachi's best friend.

He was about to faint; he was about to die and see his brother again.

He would apologize for all the mistakes he made in his life and he would tell him that he had found Shisui alive, that he had done one good thing at least.

The thought made his lips curl upwards ever so slightly, yet Shisui noticed it, despite his frenzied state.

It made no sense; nothing did. Why wasn't his cousin fighting back, as expected of someone who killed his own brother? Why did he even kill him?

As the younger was about to faint for the lack of oxygen the elder forced his right eye open to probe into his mind.


Shisui had seen the war at a young age and with it all kinds of horrors. He had been assigned difficult missions and he had witnessed -and participated in- acts of violence, fights and assassinations many times; yet he wasn't prepared for what he saw in the eyes of the young pale boy choking beneath him.

Sasuke's memories and not only his, for he had Itachi's eyes.

Shisui could see both, like the two faces of the same, painfully carved coin.

He saw when everything ended, even though it was only the beginning: Itachi slaughtering everyone, crying before ending his parents' lives, beating up Sasuke and calling him worthless killing, so that he would have something to hold on to: revenge against the one he had loved the most.

He saw Sasuke's pain, every time he sneaked into the compound and cried his eyes out, knowing that no one would hear him there, every time he tried to numb it after a day of training ending in loneliness, every time his world crumbled when a piece of truth shattered his knowledge and control of the world around him, of his goals and his very sense of self, for he was only a tool, for revenge, for avengement, for anything except his own life.

He saw Itachi's pain, when he had to destroy Sasuke's life in order to keep him alive, when once more he had to beat up and humiliate his brother so not to blow his cover, when, during their final fight -while it was also his final fight with death- he had to scare him over and over to free him from Orochimaru's curse mark and give him the revenge he had been looking for, just like he had told him to.

He saw Sasuke's desperation upon learning the truth, his guilt for not having understood it, for having killed his beloved brother and his determination to obtain justice for him, to avenge his sacrifice against the very system that made it happen.

He saw Itachi's horror when he was brought back, realizing that he would be used against the village he had protected, his wit in freeing himself using the countermeasures he had taken to push Sasuke on the road he had paved for him, his attempt to flee so not to further traumatize him as they accidentally met in the woods, his emotions upon hearing his desperate plea for attention, his pride fighting with him and seeing how strong he had become.

He saw Sasuke's confusion seeing his dead brother moving, speaking, and yet still not paying attention to him. His determination to follow him, his happiness as his dream to fight by his side was coming true and nothing else mattered, only that happiness, and, soon after, a sadness just as immense, seeing him leave again forever.

He saw Sasuke's new resolve to bring back those who could explain to him Itachi's ideals, his effort in fighting a war only to follow said ideals and honor his sacrifice once more, and his refusal to die until he achieved his brother's goal.

He saw Sasuke's final rebellion, unexpected for his allies yet quite predictable for him, considering that the boy's most beloved person died hated by the village he had protected in secret, so he didn't know better than to imitate him, his personal epitome of perfection.

He saw Sasuke's defeat, for he was just a boy with the strongest willpower but confused ideas, and his acceptance of a punishment that would have granted his brother justice, being a part of the change in the system.

He saw blackness, when Sasuke was imprisoned, tied up and not only blindfolded but also his eyes sealed, a torture even harder for a doujutsu user, especially when his perception was altered by pain from his severed arm and from the multiple beatings and tortures he was given every time he didn't behave.

At first, then every time they wanted, as they all seemed to hate Sasuke deeply, not only for his desertion but also for his being an Uchiha.

Back in his days it happened frequently, because most people blamed their clan for Kyuubi's attack during which The Fourth Hokage died. It had happened to him, and also to Itachi. Both had proved their teammates to be stronger than all of them; his cousin didn't have such possibility, since he couldn't even move freely, and yet he had managed to kill some of his abusers once, before he was forced into a straight jacket, and rendered completely helpless.

He saw without seeing, because sharingan was mostly about vision but it also recorded other sensory impressions.

Sasuke was thrown in the hands -literally- of monsters under the guise of shinobi from his same village, who under the pretext of reeducation they tortured him like the worst enemy, abusing him physically and mentally, until he was no longer realizing what was happening around him and what was going on in his head only, and even later -even now- the little memories he had of that period were so obscure and confusing that he doubted his own mind. Besides, Kakashi had explained to him that those voices calling him worthless and more, those hands touching him everywhere, were caused by guilt, for he was a criminal who had committed many sins so he had a lot to feel ashamed of.

He saw more than Sasuke did, for sharingan memories were what eyes and other senses registered, while hallucinations came from the subconscious, yet he could feel the pain, the horror, the fear, the guilt, the hopelessness, the humiliation, the resignation, the apathy Sasuke felt throughout his imprisonment.

He saw the blinding lights when the seal was removed, when he was reconditioned through genjutsu and mind control techniques by Yamanaka shinobi and Kakashi Hatake, whom he remembered quite well as he used to be hated by the clan for wielding a sharingan without being an Uchiha, and whose lies and attempt to control his cousin through manipulation Shisui could see through.

Sasuke had eternal mangekyou sharingan on one eye and rinnegan on the other; he was possibly the strongest person alive together with the Uzumaki boy, but unlike the latter he was an independent thinker whose strongest loyalty had been to his brother, so he was hard to control. Unless he was weakened in body, mind and spirit, unless his already low self-esteem, as well as his ideals and his very sense of purpose were destroyed completely.

Through violence in a jail or loneliness in a journey all alone it didn't matter.


It was overwhelming.

It lasted only a few minutes but it seemed an eternity of weeks, months, years of suffering.

Shisui came to his senses hearing the other's coughing, feeling his abdomen contracting beneath him, as he was still sitting atop Sasuke and his hands were still on the other's throat, although his grip had loosened without him noticing.

A few minutes earlier he had jumped on the younger, ferally driven by anger, confusion and instinct, and he had almost killed him; now he was deflated, devoid of all energy, his back hunched and his head hung low.

Tears welled in his eyes as he opened them and looked at the one breathing heavily below him, his eyes just as teary.

"I'm sorry..."

They both muttered, almost in unison.

One for killing his most important person, and for existing, because everything Itachi did was to keep him alive.

One for killing himself, leaving alone his most important person, because everything Itachi did was a consequence of being alone and desperate.

Unable to get off Sasuke despite feeling his discomfort, after having been attacked and hurt by him, the elder tries to regain a vague appearance of composure, holding himself on the younger's chest.


A thunder whipped the sky in the distance.

"Its not your fault".

Shisui broke the long silence that had fallen in the room.

"You couldn't have understood it….you couldn't have read Itachi".

He spoke again, when Sasuke looked at him.

"You know...I was always praised for my ability to read people...the elder said that it's why I, of all Uchiha, had a power such as kotoamatsukami".

Another thunder, this time so strong that the earth above them seemed to shake.

Storms in the Land of Water lasted days, but the hideout was perfectly insulated.

"I could read Itachi too. Especially when he was a child. As he was growing up though, it became more and more difficult. In the end I couldn't read him anymore, but I didn't realize it. He was the best liar...He lied to me as well. Many times.".

Sasuke coughed involuntarily, because of the other's weight placed upon him.

"You saw it in Itachi's memories when he showed you, didn't you? How Danzo had already spoken of suppressing any attempt of rebellion in the clan with blood...you saw it. I didn't know instead...he didn't tell me. I saw that he was worried but he convinced me that he could deal with everything...".

His voice got lower with each word, as he hadn't used it for years and he hadn't said so many words since he had awakened.

"It was impossible and I should have understood. I should have known better. I should have protected him..."

He whispered, then he collapsed on top of Sasuke, who could have slid away from the elder, and yet he didn't.

He just remained there, under that heavy but warm body, letting the tears flow freely, like the memories Shisui had just seen, the memories that never left him.

"I should have understood instead...I'm his brother...I should have felt it".


A/N:

I have always been interested in the idea that we never really know each other, no matter how close we are, because we don't tell everything for a series of reasons, because things are subjective anyway so they're filtered even if we don't realize it. Sharingan shows the other person's memories, it's objective and it's very interesting for me (like all kinds of non verbal ways to show things, like when Naruto showed his feelings through his Kyuubi's chakra).

It's interesting to write Shisui because in canon he's not exactly flashed out as well as Itachi and Sasuke. He is Itachi's role model, in the Itachi Shinden episodes he taught him that everyone, even enemies, fight for their peace, so he's good at putting things into perspective, not thinking one-way (such as 'only konoha matters, we're the best and we deserve everything'). I think he also knew Konoha's dark sides and that the system was corrupted even if he tried to keep peace and safety.

In this AU where he survived (and I still can't spoil details) he remembers Danzo as an enemy, not as the other side of Hiruzen, because he is the one who provoked his death. And getting to know what he did to Itachi, he would hate him even more. I mean, even if you support peace in your village, after being poisoned to death, after having been attacked with your eye pulled out, after getting to know that the one you love the most was forced to slaughter your whole clan, if you're dumb you'd think it's ok, but if you're a genius like Shisui was said to be, you kinda come to your own conclusions. Especially not having a little brother to keep safe no matter what like Itachi did. At least it's what I think and write in this AU.

Shisui strikes me as a physical person, because of some details in the Shinden anime, unlike Itachi who actually is physical only with Sasuke, who, instead, is passive and not exactly physical but he tends to let his close ones (and others sometimes lol) act freely around him, only rarely protesting, so I want to write this dynamic.