I don't know how long I'd been crying for; it's been nonstop for a couple of hours now. Lee sat on my bed beside me, cradling me in his arms and gently swaying me back and forth. "Shhhhh; shhhhhhh," he cooed over and over. Despite his best attempts, I couldn't stop myself from sobbing my eyes out. Lee was the first person I called when I left Noah's. Lee's initial reaction was to go kick Noah's ass, but demonstrating how far he's come, he ran straight to me instead. And there we were hours later, silently sitting in my room where my whole bed was particularly stained with tears.

"W-What am I going to do, Lee? I-I love him s-so much!" I managed to get out in between sobs. Lee cooed at me again, resting his head on top of mine. "It's ok; it'll be ok. You'll get over him, Elle." "N-No, I won't! I'll never l-love anyone like I love Noah!" I blurted out in a wail. Lee wisely waited a second before responding. "Noah doesn't deserve you, Elle. He proved that today by dumping you. I mean, who'd dump you?! You're a really good catch." My head shook violently. "No; no! I-It's all my fault! I should have gone to Harvard! I shouldn't have g-gone to Berkeley!" "Elle, if Noah really loved you, he wouldn't have asked you to choose any school besides your dream school. You've wanted to go to Berkeley's your whole life! He knows that." "I-It doesn't matter! I should have gone f-for him…. I should have gone…."

Lee didn't reply; just held me closer. I went into another crying spree for thirty minutes or so, only slowing down when I literally felt dehydrated, I'd been bawling that much. Once I started to stop crying so hard, Lee slowed down on the rocking, but he still held me in both arms. Eventually I let out the longest, most pained sigh.

"I love him… I love Noah, Lee." I could feel Lee's eyes lower from here. "I know," his reply was exactly what I needed to hear, short as it might be. "What am I going to do without him? Where am I going to go from here?" Lee took his time to answer me. "Forward; there's nowhere to go but forward, Elle…." "But I still love him." Lee's lips opened, but words came out a few seconds later. He reverted back to rolling me in the interim.

"So love him. Love him and then let him go…. You have to let him go, Elle." My eyes lowered ever so slightly. "But I don't want to." "I know; I know you don't. But you have to; there's no other way. He let you go no problem- now it's your turn." "How?" My voice was very quiet now. Lee shrugged. "Love him each time you think about him; send him love for a minute, then let him go. Move on…. Love him, then move on with life. Eventually you'll stop- you'll see." I shut my eyes as Lee's words resonated me. I closed my eyes…

"We will be landing in Edinburgh International Airport in ten minutes!" My eyes reopened at the announcer's voice. I'd been on this plane for what felt like forever. I slept through most of it; it didn't help that it was an over-night flight. I hate those.

The plane landed bright and early in the morning in Edinburgh. I was all on my own for the first time in months; it felt strange to be in a country where I knew I'd be going home to no one again. But that's what I did- I got off the plane, collected my luggage, and took the tram to downtown. The whole process is kinda hazy in my memory; partly because I hadn't had a good sleep in over two days and partly because I was emotionally numb since I parted from everyone. Somehow- I'm not really sure how- I wound up in front of my apartment door outside the building, where I fumbled around to find my keys in my backpack.

Finally I took out the key and held it to the lock of the door. To my surprise, in that instant my body just stopped working. I stood there still as a pole for a good minute, unable to move anything. After a minute or so, my lips parted as the realization hit me like a title wave. Oh… Oh yeah; no one's going to be inside when I get in. No one's at home waiting for me…. A single tear trickled down my right cheek. It's like I don't want to enter…. knowing they won't be there.

When I was able to move my uncooperative limbs again, I unlocked the door and shuffled all my stuff inside. Each suitcase weighed a pound and since there was no lift- it's an old building- I had to lug everything up two flights of stairs by myself. I waited until I had everything outside my door before opening it. It slowly slid open and I saw my tiny, one-bedroom apartment for the first time in almost eight months. "I'm home," I said to no one; I'd gotten in the habit of saying that whenever I got home back in Amsterdam. The place looked exactly how I left it, albeit with a healthy layer of dust on everything. I wheeled my bags in, shut the front door, looking at my vacant apartment, and let my back fall against the wood of the door. My shirt moved up against me as I slid down to the floor, where I sat with my head buried in my hugged knees for some time.

I'd forgotten what UK tv was like. I didn't eat any lunch or dinner; there was no food in the house and despite living a ten-minute walk away from a supermarket, I wasn't hungry. Instead I merely unpacked everything, cleaned my apartment, and laid down on the couch to watch mindless television. I didn't know nor care what show it was; anything to drown out the silence was good to me. It was evening out now, with the sun just starting to set in the distance. I live in a building across the street from the water, so I had a nice view- not that I was paying attention to it that night. No, I was just laying on my side on the couch cuddling a pillow, wishing like hell I was back in Seoul. My eyes narrowed onto the screen agonizingly. But those days are over- I'm going to get to my normal life now…. The life I left when I moved to Korea initially. The life where I'm like this- all alone….. Entirely alone.

I want him- I want Marco. I want him to be here with me.

My attention was drawn to the window at this mild tap. Curious, I lifted my head up slightly. It was most likely a bird; seagulls were abundant around here. Another tap didn't arise any suspicion, but the third tap seemed intentional. It now sounded like something was hitting the window glass. Curiosity peeked, I got myself up off the couch to go take a closer look. The window opened and there was no sign of anything out there, at least on my level. But I then looked down.

I looked down, and it was like my life began again.

Marco was standing right underneath my windowsill. He was right there, smiling so warmly, so lovingly up at me. He had his suitcase and bag with him, which was a great sign. From the moment I saw him, it's like my body took on a life of its own again. Before I knew what was happening, before my brain could catch up, I was already running out of the front door and down the stairs. My feet were going so fast that I almost tripped and felt, but thankfully the wall was there to catch me just in time. I swung the front door open with more force than I'd ever exuded in my life. The single, solo, only thought coursing through my mind, my entire being was: I need to go to him, I need to be where he is.

The door opened and without conscious processing, I ran into his arms; I hit him with such force that I almost knocked us over. Marco wrapped his arms around me just as tight, if not tighter, pressing me up against him as humanly possible. My god, I'd never felt anything so good as to be embraced by him like this. We held each other for a long minute, breathing into one another's ears. When we pulled our upper halves back, we simply, merely, effortlessly smiled at each other. I don't think I'd seen truer smiles in my life.

Marco didn't say anything. He stared into my eyes with such passionate intensity. His hand rose to tenderly brush some stray hairs off my face, wrapping them behind my ear. I didn't make a sound either; just continued to smile at him with so much love I thought I might die. This was only intensified by a hundred when Marco placed both his hands on the sides of my head and leaned in to kiss my forehead. That kiss, right there, was the most tender, most kind, most loyal, most adoring thing I'd ever experienced. Both of our eyes were shut as he pressed his lips into my skin. And that's when it dawned on me: this was our very second ever kiss- second after the dance competition back in senior year of high school. Only this time, he was the one to kiss me….. And I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

He brought his head back, leaning his forehead into my freshly kissed one. Our stares locked again, refusing to let each other go. Marco's hands held so firmly onto both of mine. My lips opened after some time, when I could remember how to speak. "Hi….." The corners of his deep grin widened. "Hi."

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to finish your exchange in Seoul?" "Yeah well, the nice thing about my department is that they let me study music anywhere," he explained. My eyes were getting glossy again. "And…. you want to study here?" Macro didn't answer right away, instead rubbing the back of my hand with his thumbs repeatedly. "You're here…. "Here" is wherever you are now, Elle." That was all he had to say to make my knees turn into jelly. I brought one of Marco's hands up so I could kiss it. Then I looked back at him again. We both had tears forming in the corner of our eyes by now. "Then stay… Stay with me…. please." Please, that's all I want…. is for you to stay. Marco looked at me- he looked at me no one has ever looked at me before. Lots of firsts tonight. "How could I not? When you are home to me now." Marco…. I could only gawk at this beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, soft, lovely, perfect man. A perfection I'd never known but would know and would be mine from now on….. I gave his hand a squeeze.

"Take me home, Marco."

The End.