Kathleen and I stood in the front of the classroom, between the easel pad and Mr. Pony at their desk. "Are you two ready to begin?" asked Mr. Pony.
Kathleen pumped her fists in front of herself determinedly. "You betcha. Hit me with your best shot, Mr. Pony."
"Not my pet shark?" asked Mr. Pony, tilting their head to one side quizzically and putting their hand to their cheek, the one on their face.
"What?" asked Kathleen.
"Nothing. Anyways, your word is flower."
In the zone, Kathleen didn't miss a beat. "What kind of flower? The plant, or the baking kind?"
Mr. Pony nodded more noticeably in approval. "The plant."
"F-l-o-w-e-r."
"Correct. Jordan, your word is paste."
I thought for a second. Was there more than one way to spell paste? Was I overthinking this? "P-a-s-t-e," I finally said aloud.
"Correct. Ankle."
"A-n-k-l-e."
"Correct." Mr. Pony expression changed as they drew the next card. "Nickel."
"N-i-c-k-e-l," I replied, curling my hand to my forehead advancedly. I could see how most people would have gotten confused switching from an -le ending to an -el ending, but I happened to have stamps in my collection that were worth a nickel – only 5 cents at the time – so I already knew how nickel specifically was spelled.
"Correct," Mr. Pony put their hands to their mouth excitedly. "Scheme."
Kathleen crossed her arms and looked to the side, thinking intensely. "S-c-h-e-m-e."
"Correct again. Gelatin."
Shoot, I thought. I don't know this one. I was sure of pretty much all of it besides the first letter, which I couldn't remember if it was a G or a J. It made the J noise, so I decided to guess that. "J-e-l-a-t-i-n," I said a bit hesitantly.
"Incorrect," said Mr. Pony, putting a noticeable, but not comical amount of emphasis on the 'in' in 'incorrect'. I winced a little upon hearing it, drawing breath as Mr. Pony spoke the following. "Kathleen, can you spell Gelatin?"
"J-e-l-l-a-t-i-n?" she said.
"That is also incorrect." I released my drawn breath. So she didn't know either. That meant we were both safe for now, right?
"Wait, so what happens then? We both got it wrong." Kathleen voiced what must have been both of our thoughts.
"No one's eliminated, don't worry," reiterated Mr. Pony. "Remember, if everyone gets it wrong we just move on to the next word. Which, by the way, Jordan, is retrieve."
I before e, except after c. "R-e-t-r-i-e-v-e."
"Correct. Squander."
"Uh, can you define that?" asked Kathleen. She seemed a little less confident than before. Did she not know this word?
"Squander means to waste, or use foolishly."
"Hmm..." thought Kathleen. "S-q-o-n-d-e-r," she finally answered, a bit haltingly.
"Incorrect. Jordan, can you spell squander?"
"S-q-u-a-n-d-e-r," I answered, fairly sure I was right.
"That is correct. Jordan wins!"
"Aww," said Kathleen, closing her eyes and putting one of her hands behind her head. "That's too bad. Good job, Jordan. You beat me fair and square, at least."
"Thanks," I replied, and it was true – this time I felt like I had actually won by out-spelling my opponent rather than winning by some technicality. We high-fived and she went back to join Kiki at the first table, while I stayed up front.
"Group 4 would like to go next," said Jenny, as her and Julia stepped forward. I had a feeling this was going to be good – Jenny seemed like someone who would be good at spelling.
"Okay then, ready? Julia, your word is buyer."
"B-u-y-e-r."
"Correct. Jenny, your word is graph."
"G-r-a-p-h."
These two went back and forth for several rounds while the rest of the class watched on in tense silence. After the seventh round, Julia had shown no signs of distress or hesitation with her answers, while Jenny's answers were gradually getting slower and more thought out. Despite this though, neither had yet to make a mistake, so it was just a matter of who would crack first.
Mr. Pony turned to Julia. "Phosphorus."
"P-h-o-s-p-h-o-r-u-s," Julia spelled.
"Correct." I didn't even know that word even existed, let alone how it was spelled, and Julia had just casually spelled it correctly on the first try. "Pseudonym."
"Um, what does that mean?" asked Jenny.
"It's a fake name an author uses to disguise their real one," answered Mr. Pony.
Jenny was silent for a few more seconds, before finally taking a guess. "S-u-d-o-n-y-m."
"Incorrect," said Mr. Pony. "Julia?"
"P-s-e-u-d-o-n-y-m," spelled Julia, adjusting her glasses with one hand and holding the other palm up as if to accept an ancient coin.
"Correct," said Mr. Pony. "Julia wins. Good job, both of you. That was a pretty good group."
Dang, I thought. She was doing so well, too. Jenny and Julia's group had lasted longer than anyone else's so far, so I had been starting to think that Jenny had a chance to win.
"So, who's gonna be next?" asked Mr. Pony, turning their attention between Skylar and Eli's group and Randy and Rachel's group.
"We'll go next," declared Randy. Rachel said nothing, but stepped forward alongside him.
"Okay then, so are you ready? Rachel, your word is style."
Rachel closed her eyes and folded her gloved hands across her lap. "S-t-i-l-e."
"Incorrect," said Mr. Pony. "Randy, can you spell style?"
Randy looked down at the seated Mr. Pony using his elegantly eyelashed eyes. "Of course. S-t-y-l-e."
"That is correct. Randy wins." After having been in class with Rachel for a considerable amount of time now, I was pretty sure she was smart enough to spell style… so had she gotten it wrong on purpose as well?
"Well that was fast. Guess we're up next, Eli," said Skylar, stepping up and passing Randy as he joined me and Julia. Eli paused for a second before walking quickly to catch up with her.
"Last group for round 2. Eli, are you ready? Your word is crane."
Eli spoke slowly, making sure that his answer was correct before he said it. "C-r-a-n-e."
"Correct. Skylar, your word is these."
"T-h-e-s-e."
Similar to Julia and Jenny, Eli and Skylar both made it through three or four more words before Skylar eventually misspelled 'through' as 't-h-r-e-w' and lost that way. That marked the end of the second round, with only me, Julia, Randy, and Eli remaining. I wondered who I would be grouped with for the third round. I hoped it wasn't Julia, as she seemed like the strongest speller out of the three, but between Randy and Eli I couldn't really say, especially since Randy hadn't really gotten much of a chance to spell in the first two rounds.
"Alright, There will only be two groups for round three," stated Mr. Pony. "Group 1: Jordan and Eli, and Group 2: Randy and Julia."
Eli and I turned to look at each other, and then turned to look at Randy and Julia. "Do you want to go first?" I asked, "or should we?"
"You can go first, if it pleases you," answered Julia.
"I don't really care either way," agreed Randy.
"All right then, so we'll go first," I replied, speaking to both them, Eli, and Mr. Pony. "Ready, Eli?" Eli nodded, his helmet bobbing up and down with his head. We both stepped up to the center of the rug.
"Ahem," Mr. Pony cleared their throat real quick. "Ready, you two? Okay, Jordan, your word is spring."
"S-p-r-i-n-g."
"Correct. Eli, your word is Friday."
"F-r-i-d-a-y."
"Correct. Balance."
I started sweating a little. Was it a 'c' or a 's' in 'balance'? No time to think, just had to guess. "B-a-l-a-n-c-e." I said, a bit more confidently than I felt.
"Correct." Whew. "Granite."
"G-r-a-n-i-t-e."
"Correct. Everyone."
"E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e."
"Correct. Octagon."
Eli started shaking a little. "O-c-t-o...g-o-n?"
"Incorrect," said Mr. Pony, and Eli quickly pulled his helmet over his eyes. "Jordan, can you spell Octagon?"
Thankfully, I knew what Eli had done wrong. He had forgot the silent 'e' at the end of the word, like in 'gone'. Because when you drink a glass of milk, it is gone. "O-c-t-o-g-o-n-e."
"Also incorrect." I was taken aback. Mr. Pony flipped over the index card. "It's actually spelled like this."
"A-ah," stuttered Eli. "I t-thought it was an 'o-o', like in 'octopus'."
"Is there really no silent 'e'?" I asked.
"Nope!" replied Mr. Pony. "But anyways, Eli, your next word is discovery."
"D-i-s-c-o-v-e-r-y."
"Correct. Jordan, lightning."
These words were really ramping up quickly, but thankfully I knew the trick for words like light, bright, sight, and tight. "L-i-g-h-t-n-i-n-g."
"Correct. Tangerine."
"T-a-n-g-e-r-i-n-e."
"Correct. Arithmetic."
I paused for a second. "Can you repeat that slowly?" I asked, making sure I was listening closely.
"Sure!" agreed Mr. Pony. "Arithmetic."
Okay, I thought. So it has a 'th', not a 'f'. "A-r-i-t-h-m-a-t-i-c."
"Incorrect," stated Mr. Pony. I was taken aback again. "Eli, your turn. Can you spell arithmetic?"
Eli adjusted his helmet again. "A-r-i-t-h-m-e-t-i-c."
"Correct! Eli moves on to the final round!" I felt a wave of disappointment rising in my chest. I really thought I had known both of the words I got wrong, but it seemed like Eli had caught me lacking in the spelling department. While a few of the eliminated students had found ways to distract themselves in the meantime, the mention of a final round brought their attention back.
"Aw man!" shouted Owen loudly. "Did Jor-bah lose?"
"Heh heh, unfortunately," I replied, before turning quickly to Eli. "Good job man. Good luck in the final round."
"T-thanks," he managed, before we went our separate ways and I returned to the first table.
"Man," commented Kiki through one of her orange lollipops. "Our whole table lost."
Using my amazing powers of observation, I came to agree: Out of the four tables of students in this classroom of kindergarteners in this building at this school, the table the being currently being referred to as 'I' was currently seated at was the only one whomst all of its members had been eliminated from the first practice spelling bee of the class of 374. Julia was up there representing the second table, while both Jacques and Owen had been eliminated (the first by myself, the second, arguably, by himself). Randy was representing the third table, where William, Skylar, and Kristy had all been eliminated, and finally Eli was representing the fourth table, where Jeremy and Rachel lie defeated. However, myself, Jenny, Kathleen, and Kiki had all been eliminated.
"Gee, Jor-bah, if only you had pulled out all that galaxy brain stuff against Eli," smirked Kiki. Her comment interrupted my train of thought so much that I was expecting to see Owen when I focused back in.
"Ouch," laughed Kathleen, in a slightly better mood now that she'd had some time to cool off from the argument.
My mind tried to shake off the jab and go back to thinking. Wait a minute. The second group hadn't even gone yet, so this round wasn't even over yet. There was still going to be at least one other table where everyone was eliminated by the time the round was over, and the only reason our table was first was because Eli and I had gone first.
"Wait a minute," I began out loud,
"Please take a ticket and sit down," Jenny's words cut through the air like a beat saber, or more specifically, a phone saber.
"Huh?" I asked. I didn't take a ticket, but I was sure taken aback.
"Shhh," said Jenny. "Don't be so loud while they're spelling."
I opened my mouth to respond, but as my brain registered her words, I clamped my mouth shut like that of a guilty jellyfish. She was right, after all. I nodded my head silently and sat down quietly.
"R-a-d-i-o-a-c-t-i-v-e," said Julia.
"Correct. Contraction."
"C-o-n-t-r-a-c-t-i-o-n," replied Randy.
"Correct. Pedagogue."
Without opening her eyes, Julia raised one finger as if to give some sage advice while cradling her elbow in her other hand. "P-e-d-a-g-o-g-u-e."
"Correct. Ambidextrous."
"A-m-b-i-d-e-x-t-e-r-o-u-s."
"Uh, incorrect," said Mr. Pony, after double looking at the card.
Julia chuckled before Mr. Pony even got the chance to ask their next question. "A-m-b-i-d-e-x—t-r-o-u-s."
"Whoo," said Mr. Pony. "That is correct! Julia wins. Very well done, both of you." Randy begrudgingly gave a nod to Julia, who nodded in return, before he returned to the third table.
"See?" I hiss-pered, which is a combination of hissed and whispered. "Everyone from table three lost too."
"Yeah, but you were still first," said Kiki.
"You were the first out of all four of us," reminded Kathleen.
"That's not important," deflected Kiki unsuccessfully.
Mr. Pony rang their handbell. "Dingalingaling, students! I know some of you may be off in your own little worlds right now, but I just wanted to let everyone know that after this final round here, we'll be going to lunch, so please get ready to go for that."
"Oh boy," said Kiki, patting her tummy hungrily. "It's beginning to look a lot like lunchtime. I could really go for another William sandwich."
"Okay then," Mr. Pony turned back to the two finalists. "Are you two both ready?"
Both of them nodded wordlessly. I wondered if it was because of their natural silence that they were so good at spelling, or as Rachel would say, succeeding in a spelling bee.
"Eli, your first word is circuit."
"C-i-r-c-u-i-t."
"Correct. Julia, your word is ecology."
"E-c-o-l-o-g-y." Kiki nodded her head approvingly in the background.
"Correct. Bologna."
"B-o-l-o-g-n-a." William nodded his head approvingly in the background.
"Correct. Survivor."
"S-u-r-v-i-v-o-r."
"Correct. Disappear."
"D-i-s-a-p-p-e-a-r."
"Correct. Subtraction."
"S-u-b-t-r-a-c-t-i-o-n."
"Correct. Apprentice."
"A-p-p-r-e-n-t-i-c-e."
"Correct. Whimsical."
"W-h-i-m-s-i-c-a-l."
While the people who didn't care had gone back to doing whatever they were doing, the people that did were watching this showdown like two intense hawks focused on a professional ping-pong match. Julia seemed very sure and methodical about herself, and was putting pressure on Eli. However, Eli was standing up to it a lot better than expected, as if the hard surface of his helmet had deflected some of Julia's pressure. It was almost as if rather than two kindergarteners waiting to see who made the first mistake when it came to spelling words, it was a fatal clash between two powerful forces of nature – namely tornadoes.
"E-l-e-c-t-r-i-c-i-t-y," said Eli.
"Correct. Repercussions."
"R-e-p-e-r-c-u-s-s-i-o-n-s," stated Julia.
"Correct. Phonetically."
"P-h-o-e-n-uh, w-wait, no, that. C-can I get a do-over?"
"Incorrect."
"Shoot," said Eli, covering his eyes with his helmet.
"Julia, can you spell phonetically?"
Julia chuckled, closed her eyes, raised one finger as if to give some sage advice, and cradled her elbow with her other hand. "That is the only way to spell. P-h-o-n-e-t-i-c-a-l-l-y."
"Correct!" said Mr. Pony. Eli bowed his helmeted head and snapped his fingers in frustration as some people went 'oooh!' in the background. "That means Julia is the first winner of the practice round spelling bee. Congratulations!"
"So, does this mean I will get top marks for this exercise?" asked Julia, opening her eyes, but maintaining the same pose. Somehow it made her seem more stern, as opposed to the nonchalant air of when she had her eyes closed.
"Well," said Mr. Pony, "We only grade on a very generous pass/fail basis here at Paige Prep. So yes! I'd say you, and everyone else here today 'passed' this exercise with flying colors!"
Julia slowly lowered her arms to a more neutral position at her sides. "Now I see," she replied. She then turned her attention to the eliminated, seated Randy. "For the rules, if I win one of the practice rounds I will have a spot in the real spelling bee, true?"
"That is correct," admitted Randy, making sure to make an extra juicy almost-coughing noise when pronouncing the 'rr' in 'correct'.
"Good, then, I believe that I am done for now," she replied, before returning to her desk.
A still-shocked Eli remained in the front of the room. Once Julia had acknowledged her win, she just proceeded along to the next thing like it was no big deal. I guess that just did be the way the world worked sometimes.
"Don't feel so down, Eli," reassured Mr. Pony. "You still did very well. Since you got second this time, I'd say you've got a pretty good chance to win the next one!"
"Y-yeah," he tried to reply to convince his spirits to raise. "I j-just slipped up t-this time." He started heading back towards the fourth table where Jeremy was tossing and catching his lacrosse ball and Rachel was just chilling, or as she would say, observing.
"Okay, you lot!" spoke up Mr. Pony to address the whole class. "We're going to be doing another one of these after naptime, so look forward to that! But for now, we're off to lunch. Jordan, if you wouldn't mind starting up the line?"
They were talking to me. "Right," I said, standing up as I processed what Mr. Pony was saying. "Over here, everyone." I walked, almost robotically, towards the door. It almost felt a bit surreal – I had been so caught up in the events around me that I had almost forgotten my sense of self. I looked down at my hands as my classmates lined up behind me, feeling the bizzarity of existence.
Mr. Pony's voice rang out in my head and I was forced to suppress my conscious once again to focus on the task at hand. "You're good to go, Jordan!" And with that, I stepped out of Mr. Pony's classroom, through the vestibulum, and into the outside world.
