A/N: Hello, my internet lovelies. I hope you're doing well. Because…God knows I'm not. I'm hanging onto a really shit cold (and yes. It's just a cold.) that's kicking my ass. I'll be alright, though. Medicine's making me a little loopy and the bandage on my pinky is magnetically attracted to the capslock, but I'll manage. But speaking of ass kickings! Are we ready to see what kind of shenanigans our beloveds are getting into this week? Yeah?
And for those of you curious, this is my Christmas present to you. If you're like me, though, and you're having a hard time getting into the spirit of things, I feel you. I see you. And I love you. It's alright. Next year, we'll do the holidays at my house and go all fucking out like the real roaring 20s this was supposed to be. K? Let's go.
When I woke up this morning, I had all intentions of today being a nice, quiet day with my boyfriend. The two of us on an aimless wander of Osaka, enjoying everything it had to offer with reckless abandon. And everything was going to be great. Don't get me wrong. I'm fucking ecstatic that Honey and Mori are here. I couldn't have asked for a better surprise. But in that list, I never said fighting Mori. And I sure as fuck never said fighting Honey. I didn't think I'd ever fight Honey a day in my life. Yet, here we were, standing in opposite corners of our arena with Hikaru and Kaoru barking outside.
"Step right up, ladies!" Fuck, I hate when the host club works on location, "Step right up and see the prize fight between Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Reila Mendoza! Come see Rei one last time before we have to close the casket!"
Hold on…I don't remember anyone saying anything about a prize on the line. I thought this was just for something fun to do to kill our afternoon. I didn't think we were actually fighting for a prize. But it got me thinking…What the hell would that prize be? Is it monetary? Is it just bragging rights? And Honey wouldn't kill me. I've heard he can fight, but that doesn't mean he's going to kill me. I'm going to come out of this fight alive whether they want me to or not.
"Alright, you two," Tamaki stood in the middle of the ring, about to call it, "We'll go three rounds. I want a good, clean fight. Honey-senpai, remember that we still need Rei for hosting purposes."
"Ok!" Honey chimed, just as Tamaki made his exit, "Hey, Rei-chan?"
"Yeah, Honey?" I could see it all over his face. This fight made him nervous.
"You promise me we'll still be friends after this fight?" he hoped.
I stuck both my pinkies out to him. And with enthusiasm, Honey linked his pinkies with mine, "Of course, Honey. Come here…"
I threw my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I could. Even though this fight made us both a little sweaty (and that's before any real fighting happened), that promise was solid. Honey curled into my shoulder, "I love you, Rei-chan."
"I love you, too, Honey," I kissed the top of his head and sent him off.
The two of us made it back to our respective corners and I sat down, already a little worn out. Fortunately, I had a damn good coach in my corner. Ritsu laced his fingers between mine, "Are you sure you want to do this, Rei?"
"I'm sure," I nodded. I'd be lying if I said the curiosity wasn't there. It's hard to imagine someone so sweet like Honey going all out.
"Haninozuka-senpai is highly trained," Ritsu warned me, "Are you positive?"
"I'm highly trained, too," I smiled. All those nights where Daddy and I would be in one of the abandoned warehouses strewn throughout our territories (and the parking structure under our building back home) were about to show themselves. Daddy made sure I wasn't going into this world defenseless. When I learned what the real family business was, rigorous training was the first step. And when I could prove that I could beat the shit out of guys twice my size without batting an eye, he knew I'd be ok. Honey's just a little guy. I should be able to throw him over my shoulder with no problem, "I'll be fine, Ritsu. Promise."
"And if you don't?"
"That's not an option," I assured him, "Besides, I don't want to know what your dad would say if I came into work all fucked up."
"He'd be pissed," Ritsu admitted, "But since you're his new favorite, he'd be more likely to go after Haninozuka-senpai."
"And I'm not letting that happen," I put my hand to his cheek, "Don't worry, Ritsu. I'll be fine. This is just for the pure, fun sport of it. No one's going to get hurt…Too much."
"Reila…"
"I'll be fine," I gave Ritsu one last kiss, "No worries. K?"
"Ok," Ritsu backed off. Because he knew better. He knew what I was capable of. If properly provoked, I can kill a man. But I'd never do that to Honey. Because then, I'd have to deal with Mori. No, thank you.
"SENPAI, NO!"
Before the fight even started, Ritsu, Honey, Mori, and me all followed the sudden squeaks of Haruhi trying to fight off Tamaki. The four of us took off toward Haruhi's screams without hesitation. Both Honey and I were already geared up for a fight. If we had to kick Tamaki's ass for him doing something incredibly stupid, then so be it. We could easily have it handled. But when we turned the corner, Haruhi hid herself as much as she could from him.
"Hey, Tamaki…" I stepped in, wondering what the hell was going on, "What are you doing?"
"It's nothing," Tamaki brushed me off.
"Nothing?" Haruhi's voice dripped with acidity, "NOTHING?!"
"Alright," I stopped her, "Haruhi, in your inside voice, care to explain what happened?"
"What do you think, Rei?" Tamaki chimed in, "This is a fight. Haruhi should be the ring girl!"
"Like hell, she should!" Haruhi snapped, "I am not being the ring girl for this fight."
"Sorry, Tamaki," I gladly took Haruhi's side, "Looks like you're going to have to find someone else."
"Well…" Tamaki bit his lip, "I'd love to, but our alternative for things Haruhi won't do is usually to ask you. And since you're in the fight, you can't do this, too."
"I am the main event here," I agreed, "Why don't you make the twins do it?"
"We're not sideline material," Hikaru and Kaoru popped up out of nowhere. Those little shits have a bad habit of doing that.
"In that case," Tamaki took a quick look around, "Uh…"
It wasn't until his eyes fell on someone else spending this fight on the sidelines that I started to sweat. Especially since the thought of him in sequins made me break out in hives. When Tamaki's face lit up, the twins started to catch his energy. Fire and oil, those three…Fire and oil. Hikaru grabbed one arm while Kaoru grabbed the other, "KASA-"
"NO." Ritsu and I both put a foot down while Ritsu shook them off.
"Besides," I wrapped myself around Ritsu, claiming what was mine, "I need a coach. That's what I got him for. Sorry, baby, but you're no ring girl."
"Last time I checked," Ritsu agreed, holding my hands against his chest.
"Excuse me," Kyoya stepped in with a much better idea. One that sat better with all of us, "Luka?"
"Hmm?" I didn't even know Luka was here, "Did you call for me?"
"Would you care to help the host club in a little event we're putting together?" Kyoya offered.
"Sure!" Luka chimed, "What do you need me to do?"
"Since Rei and Honey-senpai's fight is going to be three rounds," Kyoya explained, "We need a beautiful young lady to announce each round. Typically with a large card with a number on it. Do you think you could do that for us?"
"Yeah," she smiled, "It sounds like fun!"
"Hikaru, Kaoru," Kyoya had total control. I knew it. Ritsu knew it. The twins knew it. Haruhi knew it. The only one who didn't was Tamaki, bless his poor, idiot soul, "Go help Luka get ready. And remember. She's still a guest of the host club, so treat her with respect."
"Of course we will," Hikaru took her left hand.
"We wouldn't have it any other way," Kaoru took her right.
And both of them kissed her knuckles, "Is that alright with you, princess?"
"Yes…" Luka was completely trapped in their charm while Haruhi and I were snickering in the corner. I still couldn't believe people fell for that bullshit. And she has no idea what kind of true death warrant was signed. Oh, Luka…So blissfully ignorant of the deal with the devil you just made. Because he just sent you off with his two most ruthless henchmen. It's like Daddy always told me. The frog in cold water has no idea it's being boiled alive until it's too late. And that poor frog was taken away by the two biggest snakes in the grass I've ever met in my life.
"Hey, Rei…" Haruhi kept her voice down, "Thank you for that."
"Of course, Haruhi," I threw an arm around my best friend, "I know how you hate nothing more than being blindsided by those guys. I got you."
"Bless you."
"Anytime," I let her go and slid back in the arms of my own, "Well…Shall we?"
"And you're sure we'll still be friends, Rei-chan?" Honey worried.
"Honey, Honey, Honey," I melted inside, "You could've just beheaded my puppy and showed me the body and I couldn't hate you. I don't care if you spank me in front of everyone here like I did the first day I met Mori. He didn't hold it against me and I wouldn't hold it against you. As long as I get the same courtesy."
"Think of it this way, Rei," Ritsu pointed out, "If you beat Haninozuka-senpai, think of the kind of fear that would strike into the hearts of the host club."
"Even Takashi has a hard time beating me," Honey admitted.
"Sometimes," Mori clarified, "Sometimes, I have a hard time beating you."
"It's ok, Mori," I awed, "We all have our off days. And that means Honey's got his off days where he lets you beat hi
"Thanks, Rei-chan!" Honey wiggled his way into my lap.
"I'm sorry, Honey-senpai," Kyoya stepped in, "But you two can't be seen too chummy before the match. It takes away the mystique of the fight."
"Since when did you become an expert on how to run a fight, Kyoya?" I wondered.
"About twenty minutes ago," he admitted, showing me his phone screen…and a Wikipedia page. Color me impressed, "Why?"
"No reason." Out of everyone in the host club I want to snap up and take back with me to New York, I always thought it'd be Mori for the sake of extra muscle. Kyoya, though…Kyoya might be a little bit of a dark horse. I hate to admit it, but once we all go our separate ways, I may need to get his number. Having someone like him in my back pocket might come in handy.
"Well?" Luka came around the corner in a sparkly outfit (only covering about half of her. Damn…Hikaru and Kaoru did their research, too. What is with these boys impressing me today?), "What do you think?"
"Reila?" Kyoya nudged me, "I don't have much experience frequenting back alley fights. Would you say she's appropriate?"
"Yeah," I nodded, looking her over, "I mean, you're missing the thigh-high boots, but other than that, you definitely look like a ring girl, Luka."
"Thank you," Luka hid a little smile along with a half-hearted giggle.
"Wait a minute!" I squeaked, "What makes you think I frequent back alley fights, Kyoya?"
"Do you not go to any underground fights when you're back home?" Kyoya wondered, "That seems like something you'd be involved with."
"Well…" He wasn't wrong. Dammit, I hated that he wasn't wrong. I've definitely seen a few back alley fights. Some in underground parking structures. Sometimes, I've been involved in those underground parking structure fights…Don't get me wrong. I usually tell Daddy everything, but sometimes, he's better off if he's kept out of that loop.
"As I suspected." A part of me wanted to drive my fist into Kyoya's smug fucking face, but I also knew better. It's not like I'm going to beat the shit out of Honey, but I'll save that fire for the fight, "Are we ready now?"
"I think so," I looked over at Honey, "You ready?"
"Let's go fight!" Honey sure did a one-eighty. Not five minutes ago, he was worried about our friendship falling apart because of this fight. Someone stuck a quarter in you. That's good, though. It's good to see a fire in him.
And once that bell rang…Our friendship went out the window. Daddy always told me to never ever throw the first punch in a fight. Because whoever made the mistake of throwing said punch will regret throwing it in the first place. Or some other sort of folksy wisdom that he's passed onto me. I'll give him this, Honey sure can throw a punch. I almost didn't block it. Fortunately, I caught his fist before it could go any further and flipped him onto his back. Because I didn't actually want to hurt him, I made sure to cradle Honey on his way down. I'm not fucking heartless.
Although, I'm starting to think my kindness may be my downfall. Honey grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me down with him…Harder…Much harder than I expected. For someone of his size, Honey is strong as fuck. I know I said Kyoya was the host club's dark horse as far as someone I'd want to take home with me, but…There may be an even bigger dark horse here. And in that moment, the strangest realization struck. Honey and I are one in the same.
I know it sounds strange, but to sit down and think about it, and I mean really think about it, we are. In fact, I think we may use the same tactics when we're in a fight, too. We both have that cute, innocent, unassuming face and we both know how to use it to get whatever the fuck we want. Although, I knew for a fact Honey's cuteness didn't always work on Mori. I've seen that with my own two eyes. Kind of like how my cuteness hardly works on Daddy anymore (yet, I know a certain someone who's cut from the same cloth as Daddy that falls for this shit hook, line, and sinker on a regular basis.). They're used to it.
SLAM!
Honey had me back down on the mat, holding me down. I could hear someone counting off to the side. I wasn't sure who, but I could hear numbers. My lungs wanted to give out on me. My legs were starting to hurt, but don't ever let them say I'll go down without a fight. It's a good thing Honey's so little. I scooped him up in my arms and threw him down, getting a good couple swings in. If he wanted this to be a down and dirty street fight, all he had to do was ask. I could throw down with some of the best. Even though I didn't anticipate this being a bareknuckle fight (Let's be honest, I didn't anticipate this being a fight against Honey either.), this was fun! The two of us were neck and neck. One more blow on either side and someone was going to come out of this a winner.
However, seeing Honey pinned down on the mat made a certain someone have to step in and call it, "Draw."
"What?" I panted over Honey, who was just as worn out as I was.
"We're done," Mori demanded. Far be it for me to say no to him. Definitely when it comes to Honey and his wellbeing.
"Ok…" Honey laid next to me on the mat, his head on my side, "Hey, Rei-chan…?"
"Yeah, Honey?" I could hardly move. Not because of the amount of pain I was in, but because I just…I didn't have that in me. Fuck that…
"I'm tired…"
"Me, too," I wrapped my arms around him, "You ready to call it a day?"
"Yes, please," Honey shut his eyes for a second, "For what it's worth, though, you lasted longer than I thought you would."
"So," I wondered, "For the sake of record keeping, who won, me or you?"
"I'll let you have that one," Honey allowed, "You're still alive. You won."
"You couldn't kill me," I kissed his forehead, "You wouldn't be able to live with yourself. It's the same thing when I fight Ritsu and he goes a little too hard."
"I'm just glad we still have each other…"
"Absolutely," I melted inside, "Tell you what…What do you say about a trip to the hot springs?"
"Yes, please…" Honey was just as beat as I was. Besides, the thought of hot water did things to my soul. Imagine actually being in it, "Just you and me?"
"Well," I clarified, "I was thinking a few more."
"So…" Tamaki popped up. Because of course he did, "Does that mean all of us are taking a trip to the hot springs tonight?"
"No," I shut that shit down before it could turn into something it didn't need to be, "It's going to be Honey, Mori, Ritsu, and me. I swear to God, if I see any of you in a single mile radius, I will end you. Understand?"
"Yes, ma'am." Ritsu was right. If I live through a fight with Honey, then that gives me more metal cred. And they'll fear me more. Neat.
"Hey, Ritsu?" I groaned, still in pain and still incredibly exhausted.
"Yeah, baby?" Ritsu was quickly at my side, "What is it?"
My arms stretched out to him, "Will you carry me?"
"With pleasure," Ritsu scooped me up in his arms and I curled into his shoulder, "You ok?"
"Eventually…" I watched as Honey ended up on Mori's shoulders, "Hey, Honey?"
"Yeah, Rei-chan?" Honey looked awfully comfortable, his head on Mori's, looking like he was ready to pass right the fuck out.
"It was an honor fighting you…"
"You, too…"
I needed that hot spring. And I needed it now.
