Thanks for your comments and suggestions and thoughts of the last chapter. Let's see what happens, shall we? You might need tissues at some point during this chapter, I know I did.
The night at the Dirty Robber was quite busy, Tommy didn't have time to talk to Korsak about earlier and what happened with his mother, Tommy kept glancing over at his shoulder at Korsak during the shift, when it was time to close the bar, Korsak went to lock the door.
"Hey Korsak. Can we talk?" Tommy asked approaching the man.
"Is this about your mother? Because if it is I rather not discuss that right now."
"There's no one here, and I think it's important that we discuss it. I know I'm not your favorite person, but I'm just curious at what is going on. I don't want to be kept out of the loop especially when it concerns my mother," Tommy put on a serious face, he didn't want to ignore the tension he knew was between Korsak and Angela. "I'm not going to judge, hell I'm the last one who should be judging anyone. Plus I kind of need some advice, want to know if you're of sound mind to give me any."
"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Korsak asked, sitting on a bar stool. "You and I don't really open up to each other."
"Like I said I'm not your favorite person, and no, I don't think letting this go is going to help anyone, plus it might help to talk about it, you know. Communication being good and all of that which you and Ma didn't take part of at Jane and Maura's house. My parents weren't known for just talking things out, someone always overreacted. And it makes me feel a little uneasy," Tommy sat down on the stool next to Korsak.
"Well it all started because Sean Cavanaugh came back. I was a little tense seeing him sit next to your mother in the hospital waiting room, he was a little too close for comfort. Kinda like how you look at Frost when he's near Frankie, I mean that's part of the reason you got really drunk yesterday, you sort of mentioned it when you were on my couch. Anyways Angela didn't like my observation skills that he might have ulterior motives for being here. You already know that I have problems in my previous marriages even had a wife go back to her ex."
Tommy nodded his head in understanding, "So you fear since Cavanaugh is back that you're going to lose Ma? You really think Ma is capable of hurting you? She, the woman who lost Pop because he wanted someone younger and hotter. The same woman who had her heart shattered because he had an affair... You accused her of still having feelings for Cavanaugh, didn't you? Well no wonder why she's upset with you."
Korsak frowned at Tommy's words. "So you're saying that I really fucked up?"
"Yes, you did, but you seem pretty insecure which happens even I feel insecure, I don't have the best track record with romance either. What else is she upset about?"
"A lot of things, I really don't want to discuss this anymore. I know I screwed up now and I'll find a way to fix it. You said you needed advice?"
Tommy nodded and sighed before speaking, "Yeah, but maybe you wouldn't be the best person to give it."
"I told you the main reason for me and your mother fighting, now it's your turn to talk about what's bothering you."
"I may have unresolved feelings for Frost," Tommy admitted after a few moments of silence. "And it might be crazy but I think he shares those same feelings. Cailin and I kissed in the kitchen after I had comforted her with some serious emotions she had been feeling, she's definitely showing signs of depression and it's quite concerning because well I've grown to care for her like more than just a friend, but I do not want Jane to know she'd freak the fuck out, it's not really serious yet or maybe not at all Cailin doesn't want to be involved with me for reasons that I completely understand. She just lost Camille and she feels this guilt, but I really don't want to discuss her personal life."
Korsak eyed the youngest Rizzoli, "Really? You have a thing for Maura's sister? So why are you concerned about Frost? He's happy with Frankie."
"Then why did he look so upset at me kissing Cailin? He was the one to bring up the moment me and Cailin shared in the kitchen, I wasn't going to mention it but he did. I even asked him about it and he said he wasn't jealous but the look on his face said otherwise. And it has me confused, he said we can't and shouldn't happen again, but I got a little carried away and stroked his cheek and he didn't pull away. Maybe that's something I shouldn't have done but he didn't even flinch."
Korsak ran a hand over his face, "I honestly don't know what to say to what you just told me. Frost had trust issues with you when you guys were dating and now you made the moves on him after he seen you kissing Cailin. I can't offer any advice, but it seems as though you guys need to figure this out on your own."
"Well that wasn't very helpful Vince."
"I don't see why I could be of help, I have my own issues I need to deal with and this conversation made me feel worse for not trusting your mother. I'm going to head home, you got it from here right?" he asked, getting up from the stool.
"I yeah, sure, have a good night Vince," Tommy nodded at the man and locked the door after he was gone. He finished cleaning up the bar and was about to shut off the lights and leave when there was a knock on the bar door. Tommy frowned and was about to tell the person it was closed when he realized his brother standing there, arms crossed. He opened the door, "Frankie, what's up?"
"What's up? Is that what you have to say for yourself? I had a little talk with Frost and he told me how you made him uncomfortable after I left to handle a triple homicide, so what is your problem? You tried to put the moves on him after kissing Cailin in the kitchen today. Why do you have to mess with his emotions like that? Don't think I didn't notice the way he was looking at you when you displayed affections for Maura's sister. You didn't have to make him even more uncomfortable."
"It sounds Frankie that you have a problem with more than just me putting one hand on his cheek, when he was the one who brought up Cailin and I kissing, maybe you should talk to him about that. And as I recall you took Frost away from me."
"That's because he didn't trust you, no one trusts you. And I didn't take him from you, you gave him up as I recall, or did you forget that little fact?" Frankie stepped closer to his brother. "Why can't you just let me be happy?"
"I can ask you the same damn thing, you haven't been the same since Gwen left you. Couldn't you tell that your own brother was hurting or were you just so self absorbed in your problems. You wanted to find happiness and now it might be gone for you again and that makes you mad, that's understandable. I have feelings for Cailin so you getting all worked up about this Frost thing makes me realize you have personal demons you need to deal with. Why don't you just talk this out with Frost and leave me out of it, the bar is closed and you need to leave."
"Not until you admit that you have unresolved feelings for Frost."
Tommy frowned and slumped his shoulders, "I don't know what it is I feel for Frost, okay? It kills me to see you with him but he needs to make a decision, if he wants me back then that's just something we have to deal with, but don't take your anger out on me because you have doubts you aren't good enough for Frost."
"That's not what it is, I am good enough for Frost I just need you to get over whatever this is that you still feel for him."
"What you need is reassurance that Frost is not going to come back to me, you said me touching his cheek made him uncomfortable. If I feel something for Frost, I don't want to. I really care about Cailin and I want to be with her whenever she's ready. You need to work on your issues with Frost, that's all I'm going to say. Good night Frankie. I hope you get your issues out with Frost, that's who you're really upset at. His confusion doesn't bring you any sort of joy or comfort. Come at me like this again and you will regret it," Tommy frowned and all but pushed him out the door and he left as well locking the door to the bar behind them, not even caring to wish his brother safe travels home.
The next morning came and it was a good day for Jane, doctor said she could go home today. He gave her a list of things she could do and things that were frowned upon. Jane was glad to be getting out of the hospital but she was not going to enjoy spending her time in a wheelchair as she recoups so she doesn't cause any damage to her healing back. Her release papers had gotten signed and Maura was on the phone letting Cailin know that they'd be home within an hour and checking up on the kids. She came back into the room to find Jane shifting in her wheelchair.
"Are you comfortable Jane?" Maura asked, noticing the way Jane's nose was scrunched up.
"This isn't that comfy, I think my ass is going to need a pillow to sit on while I'm in this thing. So is Cailin okay that I'm going to have to reside in the guest house since I can't walk up the stairs."
"Yeah, you know she also has a fascination with the couch in the living room as you did, said she slept on it last night so she could check on the kids if they needed anything."
"That's nice of her, it's nice having your sister around, I do wonder how Hope has been feeling with being in her house alone. Maybe we should invite her over for lunch one day. Take a break from seeing my family for a while, we both know they always find a way to have something dramatic going on," Jane stopped noticing the look on Maura's face. "Okay, I know sometimes I'm the cause of the drama, but I don't exhaust myself."
"Well, like I said I'll try to keep the living environment as stress free as I can."
"Yeah, I really do wish you luck with that," Jane leaned back in her chair. "We can go now, we can pick up my prescription at CVS and then I was thinking we could sort of visit Camille's grave, since I couldn't do that yesterday."
"Of course Jane, I'm sure we can do that before heading home," Maura leaned down to kiss the top of her head, before getting behind the wheelchair and pushing Jane towards the elevators.
"I was just thinking Maur, about when we get really old and I'm in a chair, because we both know I'll be having the mobility problems in my old gray age, I think I'll like you taking care of me. And that says a lot because I like doing things for myself."
Maura smiled at Jane's words, "I'll happily wheel you around whenever you need," she pushed the button for the elevator, pushing her in as soon as the doors open. "And I wouldn't even consider dropping you off at one of those old folk homes, you'd probably cause so much trouble in that place."
"Always worried about me, even when we're old. I wouldn't even put my own mother in one of those places, if I'm being honest. But I wouldn't want to take care of her, that's for sure. I'd leave that for the youngest brother."
"I think your mother told me her and Vincent were going to name him Julian, I quite like the name, I hope they stick with it."
Jane looked up at Maura, "I just hope they stick with each other and that Ma doesn't end up regretting it. I think she just stuck around with Frank to not fuck us up even more than we already are."
"I'm pretty sure Vince and Angela can make it through anything, even if you threw that bombshell on her that Cavanaugh was talking about her when he was watching you."
She sighed, "I know I shouldn't have mentioned it, I just thought she should know Korsak had a right to be worried, my mother can be quite oblivious to things sometimes. It's better she knows the whole story instead of blaming Korsak for having his concerns. But we really don't have to talk about them, I'd prefer not to at this rate. They are adults, they can figure it out."
"You brought it up Jane," Maura reminded her wife as they got to the first floor and left the hospital. She wheeled Jane towards the car, she opened the door and helped Jane into the passenger's seat.
"I wonder if this is how Lieutenant Dan felt when Forrest Gump had to help him out of his chair."
"What are you talking about?" Maura asked as she put on Jane's seat belt.
Jane groaned, "Don't tell me you never watched Forrest Gump." Maura shook her head.
"No, I assumed you were talking about friends of yours."
"Maura Isles needs to not assume things, it's a bad habit for you to pick up. Almost as bad as guessing."
"Are you making fun of me Jane?"
"Me? Not at all, why would you even suggest such a thing," she feigned surprise, placing a hand over her heart.
"Oh shut up," Maura laughed, before leaning down and giving her a kiss. Jane smiled, closing her eyes, tangling her fingers in Maura's soft hair, she groaned when Maura pulled away.
"Man, I was enjoying that."
"Now, now sweetheart, that was much more than I planned to give you."
"There was like hardly any of your tongue in my mouth."
"Be thankful I gave you a kiss at all," Maura playfully challenged before closing the door putting the wheelchair in the back before getting in on her side.
"Why you gotta be so rude?" Jane leaned back against the chair, letting her hand brush against Maura's thigh.
"Now who's being rude," Maura grabbed Jane's hand before putting it back on her own lap. "I'd prefer not to be distracted when I drive, would you mind so kindly to keep all body parts off of mine?"
"Such a buzzkill Maur," Jane turned on the radio, resting her hands on her chest, shifting slightly.
"Safety first and foremost Jane," she started the car and drove to the closest CVS for Jane's medicine and to pick up some flowers before they headed to the cemetery to see Camille's grave.
When they arrived Jane looked outside the window, "You know this place always creeps me out, at least we're here when it's still daylight."
"I never quite liked the thought of dead bodies all being buried in the ground, I always preferred the idea of being cremated."
"I never really thought about what would become of my remains after I was gone, it always freaked me out to think about death," Jane admits, shifting in her seat.
"Yet you seem to have danger lurking around you a lot. I'm surprised it's not something you think about all the time, especially in your line of work."
"Well I'm not always around dead people like you are, of course you thought about death, it makes sense," she rubbed at her palms. "I do still want to see her grave, I think I'm ready." Maura nodded, and got out of the car to retrieve Jane's wheelchair before helping her out the car, putting the bouquet of flowers on her lap. "I'm not going to have to, you know... wheel over the ground where dead people are, am I?"
"No, you don't have to worry about that Jane, she's laying by a pathway," Maura told her as she locked the car and wheeled Jane a ways to Camille's spot. "She's resting next to her parents, it's a shame that we never got to meet them."
"She never really talked about her parents, you know. I guess it was always a sore subject," she looked at the tombstone. "Shit, they really died when she was that young? Same age that the twins lost her, now that's some eery shit. And look Camille died the same month and day as her parents. Did you realize that?" Jane looked up at her wife.
"I- actually I didn't notice, the guy must have really planned that out. I for one am glad he isn't still roaming about."
"He definitely got what he deserved, killed Paddy Doyle style. Can you help me kneel down?" Jane asked and Maura nodded, helping her out of the chair, placing her on the ground.
"Just don't bend your back too much," Maura rested a hand on Jane's shoulder.
Jane put the flowers on her gravesite and looked up at Maura again. "You mind if I have a few words with her alone?"
"Yeah of course Jane, whatever you need, I'll just go sit on that bench over there by the pond," she leaned down to kiss Jane's cheek, Jane watched Maura walk away before turning to Camille's tombstone, her fingers brushed against her name.
"Hey kid, the world is crazy without you here, there's so much going on and I hate that you can't be here to try and keep my sanity, you were good at making me not be so stressed out. I had two dreams about you when I was in the hospital, you came to me as sort of an angel, so I guess you're like deemed my guardian angel which means that maybe God did listen to my prayer in the hospital. I never wanted to lose a member of my family, especially since you had so much to live for. The twins are doing alright I guess, I haven't really been there for them the past couple of days, it's something I have to work on. I don't even know how you were able to raise them on your own for four years, I am so proud of you on that. I admire a lot of things about you and I wish I could have told you all this when you were alive, of how proud I am of you, of how it was nice having someone like a sister to me around, definitely was a buffer from my brothers and their love issues. I don't think Cailin knows what to do with herself. I want you to know that I will look out for her as best as I can and make sure she knows that she doesn't have to cope alone over the loss of you who she really cared about. You know when this year started I had a feeling it would be unlucky it being 2013 and all, I'm not even that superstitious but it seems like I had good reason to be. I am grateful to have met you this year, you definitely became a very important person, but I hate how I lost you so soon. Life sucks like that," Jane paused to catch her breath, wiping the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks.
"You know, I was going to tell you a secret and ask you for advice on this but now it's too late and I just... I know you can't answer but I'm going to talk to you about it anyways, we'll keep it between us," she glanced over to Maura for a moment before continuing to Camille. "Seeing you as a parent it made me want that kind of love in my life, and I know Maura would love to have kids of her own, and I know we have your kids to look after now but they will always be my niece and nephew, I could never take that mother role away from you. I don't even know how to tell Maura my current thoughts about wanting to carry a child of my own, I just feel like a family with Maura is something missing from my life and maybe I won't feel whole until we have a kid of our own. But I know the odds of me having a successful pregnancy with all the danger I get into, that's kind of an eye opener for me too, I want Maura not to worry so much because I can't even imagine how she would feel if I was where you are today. I don't want to know a life without Maura and I sure as hell don't want her to know a life without me. I have a lot on my mind, and I just... I thank you for listening and it's easy to open up to you, I'm going to miss your real life responses, but I maybe you'll still appear in my dreams. I'm going to miss you every single day, I already miss your voice and grateful that I can talk to you in my dreams. I love you Cami and you were one of the greatest people who ever came into my life, I'll visit you as much as I can, you will never be forgotten," she rested her hand on the ground, wiping her eyes. Jane took a moment to regroup before waving towards Maura to let her know she was finished, she could stay there all day but her legs were starting to feel the numbness of sitting like she was.
Maura walked over and helped Jane up and back into the chair. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm glad I was able to talk to her, just wish she could respond, you know?"
Maura ran her fingers through Jane's hair, "I know sweetie. Did you want to sit here a little longer?"
"Actually, I made a few promises to Camille, we should really go spend time with the twins and Cailin. I promised to look out for them," Jane leaned against Maura's hand, enjoying the warmth and comfort she felt in that small touch. "I love you so much Maura."
"I love you too Jane," Maura smiled warmly at her wife before wheeling her back towards their car. Once they were both situated Maura drove to their home.
When they got back to their house and Maura wheeled Jane through the front door they were greeted by Kate and Todd, holding up what they made yesterday. "Welcome home!" the twins smiled, handing her their works of art.
"Hey you two, this was a nice surprise, what did you two draw?" Jane asked.
"Mine is a picture of us all at the house, I even included Cailin, grandma and that's Uncle Tommy trying to come inside," Kate grinned and Todd pointed to what he drew.
"Cailin told me you would be in a wheelchair and I thought you should be riding something cooler, so you're riding Chad like a horse," he smiled.
"That's really sweet of you too. May I have a hug?"
Kate and Todd both looked at Maura who nodded, "It's alright you two, just be careful, okay?" The twins decided to be safe and just hugged her arms.
"Thanks for the very warm welcome back home, did you two want to go put these on the fridge, Maura can help."
They nodded excitedly and tugged Maura along with her. Jane wheeled herself over to the couch, trying to maneuver onto the couch, she jumped when she heard the voice of her brother, "Janie, did you need some help?"
"Jesus Tommy, you scared the shit out of me. I'd rather not get help but I can't seem to get myself on the couch. Why are you here anyways?" she asked as he helped her out of the chair and onto the couch. "Yeah that's definitely more romantic when Maura does it, thanks though."
"Cailin wasn't feeling well so she asked if I could help watch the kids until you got home. She's taking a nap in the guest bedroom upstairs, she sort of has a slight fever. Oh and be warned, Ma is here, she's organizing the guest house to make it more comfortable for you," he explained as he sat down next to her.
"Why is Ma here? She's supposed to be taking it easy."
"Well um... her and Korsak kind of had some problems so she wanted to stay here for a bit."
Jane groaned, "Seriously? I guess talking things over didn't happen then?"
"No, not exactly. It seems kind of serious, they might need you for some assistance," Tommy shrugged causing Jane to shake her head.
"Oh no, count me out. I am not dealing with any drama outside my own. Why did Ma choose to stay here? Couldn't she have stayed with you? I don't want her here while I'm recovering."
"Well don't tell me that Janie. I agree that she shouldn't stay here to avoid Korsak, but he's made no move to reconcile."
"I don't even know what I have to say for that. You would think how much Korsak loves to please Ma he would make the move even though he may or may not be in the wrong."
"I think they both overreacted and took things way out of proportion. I honestly can't say that I side with either of them on this. But since you don't want to talk about it, how are you feeling? How's the pain?"
"It's like at a 6, more so everything just keeps on going numb, it's really irritating, my chest pains seem to have died down some but my back, that's the real issue," Jane sighed.
"Did you want me to make you something to eat?"
Maura came into the living room with the kids, "We actually have it taken care of," she handed Jane a plate with two slices of pizza, with her pain meds and a glass of water. "There was some leftover pizza in the fridge, the twins thought you would like that best."
"Well the kids were right, although I'd prefer a different choice of beverage," Jane wanted what she couldn't have with pain meds. "But I know how important water is." She took her meds with the water and started to eat the pizza. There was some silence until Angela came into the house, Jane looked up at her mother, she looked exhausted. "Ma, are you feeling alright?"
"I didn't know you were being released today, I wasn't kept in the loop it seems," she crossed her arms glancing at Maura for a moment.
Jane couldn't help but roll her eyes, "So overdramatic Ma, I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking. You guys mind if I talk to grandma for a moment?" she asked the twins, also looking at her brother and Maura.
"I am hungry again, can I have a second lunch?" Todd asked causing Tommy to smirk.
"What are you, a hobbit?"
"What's a hobbit?" Todd and Maura both asked Tommy at the same time.
"Looks like I need to teach you guys the top ten popular movie series," Tommy smirked as they headed towards the kitchen.
"Also talk about Forrest Gump Tommy, Maura didn't know who Lieutenant Dan and Forrest were," Jane called out to him before turning her attention to her mother. "Are you going to sit or just stand there? I'd prefer if you were sitting, you're going to make me jealous because I can't."
Angela frowned at her daughter's words, noticing the wheelchair next to the couch, "Oh yes of course, I'm sorry," she sat down next to her daughter.
Jane rubbed her temples with her fingers, "I said I don't want to be involved, but maybe I should be. What happened that you and Vince can't work things out? It's not still about Cavanaugh, is it?"
"I don't know why he can't trust me, after all I've been through he thinks I'm going to just abandon him for a man I previously dated, why on Earth would I go back to him? Why would I hurt Vince like that. I'm carrying his child shouldn't that be proof enough?"
"Vince Korsak loves you Ma, he's crazy about you, of course he's going to worry and have doubts. Maybe he overreacted but did you really have to get mad at him for whatever he was feeling at the time? He's a complete opposite of Frank, and he hasn't had the best track record with marriages, but he cares about you more than anything in this world."
Angela listened to her daughter's words, "Then why would he say such things about me being overbearing, I do have feelings too you know," she said getting defensive.
"Well you can be at times Ma, but trust me you have gotten better."
"He even said that I was smothering you. I don't smother you, do I?" Angela asked sadly.
"Well of course do that sometimes but that's what mothers do. I mean look how I turned out, strong, independent and stubborn as hell."
"Well that's true even though it gets you in trouble more often than not."
"See Ma, you both have faults and things you need to work on, but you can't get things back to normal if you guys don't talk about it. You can't fix it if you guys aren't willing to talk about it with each other. Do you really want to spend time away from your husband, the father of your child?"
"You just don't want me here at the house, do you?"
"Ma, I'm trying to help for the sake of you, Vince and that little boy. What you two are doing it's not healthy? It's starting to remind me of you and Frank and I don't like that, not one bit. You and him had shit communication skills, do you really want to deal with that again. I know you're scared of losing Vince, maybe that's why you're avoiding him so it hurts less? That's how it was when I discovered my feelings for Maura, I avoided her at all costs as best as I could so I wouldn't find myself looking at her too long and ruin our friendship. I avoided to ignore all the emotions going on, so just don't cut Vince out of your life just because he has doubts. You both need to fix this, you both made mistakes here and you need to work things out. Don't let your son come out to have a broken family. You already had three kids go through the motions of dealing with a family that fell apart at the seams. Let this be different."
"Since when have you become so wise?" Angela smiled softly at Jane.
"I have excellent observation skills Ma, plus I sort of spoke from experience. Sure fighting is normal on occasion that just means you guys hold all these strong emotions for each other and now it's just in overdrive especially since you're pregnant. I love you Ma."
"I love you too Janie," she kissed her daughter's cheek. "So enough about me, have you had any thoughts of what your future holds? Or are you still going to be getting yourself into trouble after you heal?"
"I want to live the longest life I possibly can with Maura, that's what I know. I'm going to have to make some changes and my mind is still trying to decide what's the best thing to do, but I'll try my damndest to stay safe at all costs," Jane admitted, glancing over at the twins and Maura in the kitchen for a moment, 'They are what I have to live for,' Jane thought to herself before eating the rest of her pizza.
What a cute Angela/Jane mother daughter moment, wouldn't you say? There hasn't been enough I don't think. Did you also need tissues for when Jane was at Camille's grave? I know I did. Will Korsangela put their stubbornness aside and actually have a conversation, and what will become of the Frost/Tommy/Frankie thing I'm still trying to work that one out. I have the next three days of night shifts at work then 5 days off, that's the theme park job life in the times of Covid.
