As Andre played the final chord, Tori felt a wave of satisfaction fall over her; the song was brilliant. She was in awe as to how quickly the changes had been made and yet still managed to make it so effective. It sounded like the reading of someone's diary, their innermost thoughts and had that sincerity that made it easily identifiable as one of Andre's creations.

"Andre this is going to be so good, everyone is going to love it."

"Yeah it is sounding pretty damn fine." His relief was palpable as he scanned over the music for what must have been the hundredth time. He was reasonably convinced it was as good as finished but he was always plagued by the urge to continuously tweak his work, chasing an impossible perfection that perhaps only existed in his head. He vaguely registered Tori was looking at him expectantly and snapped his mind back to the rehearsal room.

"Sorry Tori, what were you saying?"

"Where did the inspiration come from, this was a completely different song last week."

"I, uh, talked to Jade and she helped me out with it." His manner turned uncharacteristically awkward as he wondered again why he hadn't told Tori from the start that he'd been talking to Jade. The slightly hurt expression on her face reminded him pretty quickly of why.

"Jade was talking to you?"

"Well it was Cat's idea; I was really stuck, and Jade's helped me through those mental blocks in the past."

"Yeah, and don't you remember what happened last time?" Tori said pointedly, forgetting her momentary hurt at Jade's willingness to engage with Andre, who now rolled his eyes; unknowingly mirroring Jade's trademark expression.

"I know but I don't feel wonky, besides I'm pretty sure her and Beck have worked things out anyway."

Tori's eyes widened at this new information and she practically bounded around the piano to Andre.

"They're back together? No one told me this, why am I always the last to know?" Despite her exasperation at apparently being at the bottom of the gossip chain, Tori found herself buzzing over the latest development. It was odd how in just a few short weeks she'd gone from thinking Beck and Jade's relationship was better off buried to thinking it might be exactly what Beck was missing, and apparently Jade was missing it too.

"Well what with the accident and all, I think they've both probably got more on their minds than updating their slap statuses." Andre wore a well-meaning half-frown at the brunette's ability to swerve from topic to topic while actually missing out the main issue at hand.

"Yeah, you're right." Tori seemed to be calming down somewhat now, the solemn reminder of Jade's situation putting things back into perspective for her.

"I still haven't spoken to her."

"Don't rush it, you guys weren't close remember and-"

"And what?" Tori asked and Andre winced, trying to tread carefully as he tried to get through to his ultimately well-intentioned friend.

"And, you shouldn't be reacting just because you feel guilty about stuff, because it won't end well."

Tori wanted to retort but Andre had hit too close to home. Even after organising the hamper, she still felt bad about the way she'd welcomed the natural exclusion of Jade after the split.

"I just feel like I could have done more, that maybe if I hadn't been so quick to push her away then maybe this wouldn't have happened, or at least she would have told someone." Tori never for a moment imagined Jade would have opened up to her, but maybe Cat or even Andre.

"I know." Andre's tone became sympathetic as he recognised the same internal debate he'd experienced many times in the past few weeks. "I've thought the same more than once but Jade doesn't blame us."

"She actually said that?" Perhaps uncharitably, a small part of Tori had thought that Jade would get some sort of justification from apportioning blame to the group.

"Yeah, she did." Andre recalled their phone conversation and felt a sad half-smile take over his face. "It doesn't necessarily fix everything, but she said she never would have told anyone. She doesn't want to blame anyone."

With Andre's admission, Tori felt herself breathing a little easier. It seemed odd to be thinking of Jade in such a serious capacity, but nothing about the past few weeks had been normal. She briefly wondered how much the experience had changed the dark forever, would she be any happier now? Any nicer to people. Tori almost snorted as she tried to imagine a sunny, smiley Jade swiftly deciding that she would no longer be Jade if her personality had reversed overnight.

"Come on, we need to run through this again; I'm still not sure about the chord progression on the bridge."

Tori nodded, returning to her position in-front of the piano as she pushed the business with Jade to the back of her mind, quietly resolving that while she couldn't change the past, she could shape the future.


Jade realised pretty quickly that Vera was hanging closer to her than normal, finding chores and jobs to do that meant Jade was never far from her line of sight. Jade wanted to be annoyed but found her presence was more reassuring than she was prepared for. Her cheeks still burned as she thought of the events of the morning, of crying in Vera's arms like she hadn't cried before. To her credit Vera hadn't said anything, simply content to hold Jade like a small child until long after her tears had finally dried up. She'd quietly suggested Jade go and wash her face; when Jade had returned, a cup of fruit tea was waiting for her and her bed had been made. Jade had used the time drinking the tea to try and compose herself, she wanted to write in her book but retrieving it suddenly seemed like too much effort.

She'd ventured downstairs barely minutes before Lane had arrived out of breath and clearly stressed over the happenings at school. Vera had done her usual of preparing breakfast for the two of them and depositing it on the table, with an added glass of iced water for the counsellor, before retreating to the kitchen.

The counselling session had not been her best as Lane had immediately noticed her low mood. He'd done her best to guide her through it, unknowingly echoing Vera's sentiments that sometimes she would feel low, for no apparent reason (beyond the obvious). They'd talked, or rather Lane talked while Jade mostly listened, through some distraction techniques and ways to channel the emotions into something more productive. Everything Lane had suggested made perfect sense to Jade but she couldn't help but feel it didn't help when everything seemed like too much effort. It was the sort of comment that she previously would have held inside, but she had found herself pointing it out to the counsellor; whether it was from a genuine desire to understand or a selfish want to prove him wrong she wasn't sure.

Lane's response hadn't exactly been positive but there was something strangely encouraging about it.

"Those days are the toughest, you have to try and find it in you to do something no matter how small or how ineffective you think it will be. Even if you're only movement on those days is moving from the bed to the couch, you have to try to fight those feelings for control." Jade had been silent at this, but Lane had not finished.

"You're already doing it without knowing, I know you want to get through this."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Two weeks ago, you wouldn't have even considered asking me what you just have. You would have sat there in silence listening and resolving to probably ignore what I was saying, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep or escape somewhere quiet. You're stronger than you think you are."

The words had echoed around her head long after Lane had departed, and she found herself torn between taking comfort that someone thought she could do this and feeling like an imposter. It was as though she couldn't work out who the 'real' Jade was, whether it was the dark, despondent individual who she'd woken up with this morning or the more determined, stubborn person from the other night on the balcony, the one who'd claimed she was sick of being a victim.

Jade let out a sigh and played with the edge of her sling, she wasn't sure who she wanted to be or whether the truth laid somewhere between the two. Still, like Lane said, try and find something to do. She got up slowly from the chair, twisting her muscles experimentally as she realised, she'd been sat in a less than comfortable angle for too long. She walked back into the kitchen, wordlessly passing Vera the breakfast tray as she held out her arms for it.

Due to Lane's lateness it was now past lunch time, but Jade wasn't hungry yet. She found herself sitting down at the central island and pulling out her phone. She briefly replied to a text from Beck, the faked nonchalance from the previous week had gone from his message as he simply stated that he hoped she was feeling better and he was there if she needed to talk. All too aware of how her boyfriend had his own needs, she sent him the most honest response she could muster, hoping it would be enough to stop his own worries.

Vera watched Jade carefully out the corner of her eye. It was a departure from the norm for her to remain downstairs after the appointment with her counsellor, but she seemed content enough to stay put for now, if somewhat vacant. Vera opened her mouth to suggest a late lunch when Jade frowned. Her phone was buzzing in her hand.

"Yeah." Her tone was clipped as she answered, the frown still firmly in-place.

"Okay." She watched as Jade fiddled with the loose edge of her sling, she'd noticed that she spent time both with and without it on now.

"I don't." Her tone was even shorter now, if that was possible. There was beat and then,

"Fine." She hung up without saying goodbye to the person on the other end of the phone, slamming her mobile down on the unit in front of her with a resounding thud.

Vera held back, no longer sure whether her intervention would be welcomed. The phone call seemed to have done more than anger Jade as now the young girl seemed to be shaking slightly, while staring angrily at the wall; her hand was clenched in her lap, nails digging into her thigh. Vera made a snap decision, changing her plans for the afternoon entirely.


"Jade, I've got to run to the shops now, do you want to come along for the ride?"

The question seemed innocent enough but managed to snap Jade out of her inner turmoil for long enough to dismiss it out of hand. Almost. As she looked back at Vera, she bit back her automatic rejection of the offer, her expression was one of earnest and caring. Lane's earlier words came back to her, about finding the one thing on the day's it felt impossible.

"Sure." There was obvious surprise in Vera's expression, but she masked it well, a smile gracing her features and capturing most of the well-worn lines on her face.

"I've got to get the last of my list together so you can go get some other clothes on."

Jade was still in the clothes she'd slept in and rose from the table as Vera pointedly moved her attention elsewhere, as though Jade's agreement was no big deal.

As she walked into the bedroom, she surveyed the clothing options somewhat disparagingly. Half her outfits were unsuitable as they required tights, a battle she was not willing to have with her still healing shoulder. She pulled out one of her surviving pairs of jeans, wanting something other than the leggings she'd been almost permanently stuck in since she left hospital. Getting into them required more focus but her blind stubbornness assured her success in the end, and the less said about the now wonky lampshade on her bedside lamp the better. She pulled out the drawer of shirts, feeling somewhat frustrated that she was low on choices. Some had been destroyed with her room and some were discounted purely on needing too much faff; she had never realised how many layers she normally wore until putting them on was a chore in itself. Settling on a simple tank and loose black jumper, Jade attempted to do battle with her hair.

She'd stopped looking at in the bathroom mirror only a few days after leaving the hospital as it tended to only sour her mood. It was still hanging lank and wispy in places, the darker brown colour still fighting the break-through of her natural brown and conspicuously absent of her usual colourful streaks. She pulled a brush through it in a half-hearted attempt to bring some order to the mess, it was on her fourth pull through that she belatedly realised it didn't hurt like it once did. She felt around for the scar from the surgery and found nothing but a thick tuft of hair growing in its place. She ran her fingers through it, allowing her natural parting to fall into place. She had a natural wave to her hair that she would usually curl into place with an iron, but for now it would have to do without. She eyed it critically, wondering if it would be worth trying to put it into a ponytail to disguise the dye re-growth before dismissing it as too much effort. She ran her hand through it again, deciding it could probably look worse and, really, it wasn't that important.


"But you ate all the pears? How could you, you know they were my favourite!"

"And scene." Sikowitz interrupted the pair on the small platform, calling an end to his themed improv demonstration.

"As you can see class, it is possible to take three random things and improv a convincing scene, as long as you think on your feet which is essential as an actor."

Beck listened slightly amused at the scene Robbie and Tori had managed to improvise using the prompts 'pears', 'socks' and 'renewable energy'. He was finding it a bit easier to focus in his more participation heavy classes but still struggling a bit in the more mainstream classes they still had to take; still, history never held his interest much anyway.

As usual the bell rang stopping Sikowitz in his tracks as the class departed for lunch. He listened to Robbie bemoan his mee-maw's latest intrusion into his life as they queued at the grub truck, Cat offering completely unhelpful suggestions to Robbie that all seemed to involve living a secret life as a fugitive.

"Have you got anything for the spring showcase Beck?" Tori's question almost caught him off guard, not realising that now they were at the table, Cat had finally run out of solutions to Robbie's problems.

"Na, not this time." He had a few ideas back before everything had happened with Jade but obviously that had not been a priority.

"Has Jadey decided if she's coming or not?"

"Not yet Cat." Beck gave a small smile. "She hasn't said she isn't though." Cat squealed and clapped her hands in response. Beck hoped he wasn't giving her false hope, but he considered it to be a very good sign that Jade hadn't already decided against it. Still, after the morning it brought it all back again that this wasn't a smooth road. His phone buzzed.

'Talk of the devil' he thought wryly, although not without relief.

"Is that Jade?" Tori questioned, watching Beck's face morph into an expression of surprise and something else as he read the text.

"Yeah, we've been chatting most of the morning." He offered by way of explanation, not wanting to disclose exactly what they had been chatting about.

"What's she up to?" Cat questioned, slightly deflated that so far, her text messages for the day had gone unanswered.

"She's going into town with Vera."

"Who's Vera?" It was Robbie's turn to question him.

"Her father's housekeeper." Beck said shortly before realising how rude it sounded. "She's a nice lady."

"A housekeeper?" Robbie mouthed, only just realising how well-off Jade's father must be.

"Does she know when she'll be returning to school?"

Beck shook his head at Tori.

"She's doing loads better but she's not there yet. It's just when she thinks she is coping it seems to hit her around the face again." Beck tried to explain it as best he could and Tori seemed to understand, or at least that was what the expression on her face managed to convey. Tori's phone buzzed.

"Uggh Andre's summoning me for more rehearsal time." Tori complained although not seriously, Andre's dedication could be quite infectious. As she rose from the table, Cat turned her attention towards her.

"Do you want to hang out after school?"

"Sure, it'll give me a reason to slow Andre down anyway."

Cat smiled wide and waited for Tori to depart before tapping away excitedly on her phone. Beck frowned, suspecting the redhead was once again up to something.

"Cat?"
"You can come too Beck!"

"Come where?"

"Shopping with Jadey."

"You've invited Tori to go shopping with you and Jade." Beck was incredulous. "Cat that won't end well, I don't know if Jade's even up to it, she didn't have a good morning today." He lowered his voice, trying to convey his concerns but they didn't seem to impact on her.

"I'm not forcing her to come. I've only just asked anyway." Cat wore a small frown, wondering if she should have mentioned it at all.

"Just tread carefully today Cat."

"I'm not doing this to upset her Beck." There was a tension in her voice that was very rarely heard coming from Cat. Beck backed down and Robbie, noticing the tension, began to talk about their afternoon class.

Cat only half-listened, trying not to be annoyed at Beck for suggesting that she was trying to force Jade to do things she didn't want. Sure, she hadn't told Jade that Tori would be there too, but she knew her best friend, and she seemed to want normality so wouldn't that include Tori? She bit her lip, half hoping that Jade wouldn't get her text or would just ignore it, no longer sure she'd made the right decision at all. The bell rang signalling the start of the final class and Cat jammed her phone back into her bag, hoping that if she ignored it, she wouldn't see a response either way.


Shopping with Vera had been relatively uneventful, the older woman having left Jade to her own devices in the large Walmart. Jade had found herself browsing through the clothes and cosmetics, picking up a few of the essentials she'd been missing the last few weeks, including a ridiculous pair of fuzzy socks which she hated but had chosen to combat the cool floor on her feet in the mornings. She'd joined Vera at the frozen food aisles where the older woman had chatted on blithely about this and that. Jade had found herself listening to some of it but not all, although Vera didn't seem to mind.

The earlier phone conversation rolled around in her head, unable to be pushed away for too long but just long enough for Jade to stay in the real world. As they got to the tills Jade broke off and queued further away, taking out the latest credit card her father had provided a few days previously; it had been left with a note on the kitchen island. She'd thought about turning it down, but she didn't really have any other option at that point.

Jade pulled out her phone, realising it had buzzed a while ago and she'd ignored it.

(2) New messages: Beck Oliver, Cat Valentine.

Message: Beck Oliver.

I hope shopping goes well, I'm glad you've managed to get out for a bit. I've got to do some stuff for my parents right after school but I can come over after?

Message: Cat Valentine.

Jadeeey, Beck says you're shopping so do you want to go to the mall after school? We could go get those ice cream milkshakes with the silver stars inside?

As she waited for Vera to finish paying, Jade checked the time. It wasn't long until school finished, and she figured Vera wouldn't mind dropping her slightly further into town; she wasn't ready to go home and face reality just yet. Shooting of an agreement to Cat and Beck, asking Beck if he'd mind picking her up from the mall and wincing as she realised, she couldn't wait until she could drive again.

"Ready to go?" Vera had caught up with her.

"Yeah, I'm going to meet a friend after they finish school."

"Oh, that will be nice." Vera interrupted cheerfully. "Do you want me to drop you off anywhere?"

Jade blinked, slightly surprised that Vera had immediately offered. She mustered her own smile, one that she hoped was grateful enough as she told her where they were meeting.

Vera was quieter on the car ride over, her old rickety radio still going strong as it played out jazz hits from the 70s and 80s. Jade let the music wash over her, much of it familiar in one way or another, anything to stop her mind wandering to where she didn't want it to go.

Vera pulled into the parking bay and Jade got out, murmuring one last thanks which Vera smiled at. She watched as Jade stood on the side of the pavement, wondering why she hadn't moved yet.

As Jade stood, everything suddenly felt a little overwhelming. The noise was immense from the street behind her and the busy sidewalk in-front of her. There were so many people. It was making her head hurt. She stood still, aware of the tension flooding her body but unsure what to do about it.

"Jade, do you want to grab some lunch?" Vera's head was halfway out the open window. Jade found herself nodding before she was even certain of the answer.


The food court at the mall wasn't as busy as it was past the traditional lunch slot. At lack of any request from Jade, Vera steered them towards the Chinese and Pan-Asian counter, recalling the Chinese take-out containers she'd seen in the trash the week before.

As they slid into the seats Jade was aware the silence between them was about to get awkward as Vera had seemingly lost her ability to chatter the way she had in the supermarket.

'Probably because she thinks I'm losing it for real now.'

"Jade, do you sing?"

Vera's attempt to break the silence caught Jade by surprise, filling her with relief as she had been wracking her brains to try and do the same thing.

"Sometimes." She admitted, feeling somewhat wrong footed. "Why?"

"I overheard piano yesterday when you were upstairs and I thought you might be a singer, you look like you could be a singer."

"That was Andre. He was writing a song and he; he just wanted a fresh perspective." Jade stumbled slightly over her words.

"Your friend was writing a song? He must be a very talented young man. Do you also write songs then?"

"Yeah, sometimes." Jade still felt odd as Vera looked genuinely interested in what she was asking, not simply trying to fill the conversation with words.

"Does your Beck write songs to?"

"Not so much, he is more of an actor." Jade chewed on a fry, supressing an entirely childlike urge to giggle as Beck being referred to as 'her Beck'; she'd have to tell him that later.

"It sounds like you have some very creative friends, do you all go to a club then or something?"

"We go to a performing arts school, Hollywood Arts."

"How exciting, that's some achievement to attend a school like that." Again, there was no lack of sincerity in Vera's voice; she seemed genuinely impressed at Jade's school.

"Do you still do regular classes? My Andrew had a sports scholarship and he had to do all his sports as extra."

"It's sort of a mix." Jade said and then started to explain the class process and elective system at Hollywood Arts, all to feed Vera's curiosity. By the time she was finished, she'd almost forgotten about her food until Vera picked up the mantle with a story of her own son, Andrew, and his talent for basketball.

The conversation started to flow more easily, and Vera continued to question Jade about her life and school. There were some road bumps, some topics that garnered a shorter reply, but Vera easily navigated these by side-stepping to something else. Jade was more talkative than she ever would have realised from the past week and Vera wondered how often someone had sat her down and been genuinely interested in what she had to say. Her opinion of her employer was rapidly falling since Jade had started to live in his house. Before she'd assumed he was bit of a lost soul, someone who was the victim of his own decisions and possibly overlooked by others but now she was struggling to find the same empathy; he had a daughter who he apparently pretended didn't exist most of the time.

Jade had just finished explaining the audition process to Vera when there was a familiar squeal and the sound of feet hitting the floor in quick succession.

"Jadey!" Cat launched herself at Jade in her typical exuberant fashion, leaving Jade slightly stunned and gingerly patting the redheads back as her shoulder was squeezed uncomfortably.

"Cat, move." Jade tried not to snap but when Cat didn't show signs of relenting, the pain in her shoulder was beginning to get worse. Thankfully, Cat withdrew and then proceeded to bound around the other side of the table and hug Vera as well, stunning the other woman who still managed to return the hug despite not knowing the girl at all.

"You must be Vera, Beck said you were really nice."

Vera smiled.

"And that must make you Cat."

"Yes, like the animal, but not like the animal as I only have two legs not four!" Vera smiled again although slightly uncertain as to whether the bouncy teenager was being serious or not; Jade struggled not to roll her eyes.

Cat dropped down into the seat next to Jade, talking fast about her day at school and stealing some of Jade's left-over fries. Vera tried to keep up with her, asking her little questions about her day which only made Cat talk more; Jade kept quiet, content to let them steal the conversation for a while. It was only a few minutes later when Vera rose.

"I best leave you girls to it, I need to get my shopping home. Jade you'll be alright to get back?"

Jade nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Vera smiled warmly and Jade almost smiled back.

"Yeah and, uh, thanks for lunch." Vera nodded, knowing no more words were needed.

Jade watched the woman depart as Cat continued to chatter about school before something occurred to her.

"Cat how did you get here? I thought your mom was taking your brother to the retreat?"

Immediately Cat clammed up, looking guilty as a pout formed on her lips.

"Cat?" The warning was prominent in Jade's voice.

"Hey Jade." A nervous voice made Cat squeak and Jade wince; and she'd just thought this day might be looking a little better. Why on earth did Cat invite Tori?

"Vega." Jade didn't even bother to look up at her, still staring at Cat who was chewing on her lip.

"Tori gave me a lift, you know, cause she got her licence now"

"I can go." Tori interjected, not wanting Jade to go nuclear in a public place. Jade inwardly groaned. As much as she wanted to tell Tori to go, she knew it would be unfair. She didn't like her, not really but she was Cat's friend and they did use to hang out even if they didn't get on. Besides, after she organised that hamper of things, even Jade couldn't be that dismissive.

"It's fine." She ground out. "Let's just get this over with." She rose from the chair, barely looking at the tall brunette before grabbing her bag. Cat popped up from her own seat, taking Jade's acceptance of a sign that everything was back to normal. She linked an arm in Jade and an arm in a decidedly awkward Tori, now chattering away about all the things she wanted to buy.

Tori wasn't sure if she should just make up an excuse to leave, Jade clearly didn't want her here and Cat hadn't told her Jade would be there until they were in the car. She'd made a dash for the restroom on arrival hoping Cat would use it to tell Jade. As she looked at Jade now, the whole situation seemed a bit more real. Her hair was dull and unstyled, her face free from the usual dark eye liner and her clothes seemed to hang off of her body in a way they didn't before. Tori was beginning to understand more why Beck had been so affected by it as Jade usually looked bullet proof whereas now she looked as though she might break; except for the glare she was now giving Tori, having noticed her staring.

The first store Cat dragged them into made Jade seriously consider texting Beck to come and get her early, his parents be damned. It was pink and frilly, and everything they sold was pink and frilly; even Tori winced at some of the offerings on display. Cat bounced around the store picking up what seemed like armfuls from each rack before dashing into a changing cubicle. Jade scowled and dropped into a purple armchair while Tori stood awkwardly to her side. The tension between the two was palpable.

"If you want me to go I can, I didn't realise Cat didn't tell you." Tori gabbled, trying not to irritate the dark-haired girl any more than she apparently already had. To her surprise, Jade didn't scream at her but let out a heavy sigh instead.

"It's fine, Cat obviously wants us all to hang out so..."

There was more silence filled only with snippets of Cat's chatter as she changed in and out of outfits just down the corridor.

"How are you doing?" Tori had thought she was going to stay quiet but she couldn't help herself.

"I'd be doing better if everyone stopped asking me that." Jade snapped and Tori bit her lip, knowing it had been a mistake.

"Besides why do you care? We not even friends." Jade's acerbic tone only furthered Tori's guilt.

"I know but we did used to hang out."

"Yeah, used to." Jade pointed out, wishing she'd stop talking.

"I'm sorry we stopped hanging out, I can't help but think if I had more of an effort-" This time Jade did groan out loud, except it was almost a growl.

"Not you too, I've already had this from Beck and Andre, my issues are my own they've got nothing to do with you or anyone else for that matter."

"Sorry." Tori mumbled, realising she'd managed to do the opposite of what Andre had advised.

Jade rolled her eyes before looking away, now remembering why the brunette often managed to irritate her so much.

"Look, Tori." She tried not to sound like she was snapping but Jade's control was walking a thin line. "We don't naturally get on, we had some sort of understanding for a while but then Beck and I-" She broke off, suddenly not wanting to finish the sentence and go back to that place.

"Yeah, but I kind of didn't make things better when you guys did, you know." Tori said awkwardly before gathering herself to finish the rest of the sentence; it was now or never.

"I didn't go out of my way to include you after, I kind of encouraged the distance."

Jade blinked.

"Of course, you did." She stated as though trying to explain something to a small child. Tori was bewildered at Jade's total lack of reaction.

"Huh?"

"Tori, you kissed my boyfriend in-front of me on like your second day and then I spent a lot of the time trying to make your life as difficult as possible; why would you want to hang out with me? I didn't want to spend time with you."

Tori collapsed into the chair next to Jade, confused as to how the guilt she'd been carrying had suddenly seemed to disappear while the situation seemed far from resolved.

"But we did get on for a while." She pointed out.

"Sort of." Jade agreed grudgingly "But we weren't close, I don't blame you for not wanting to be around me."

'I didn't want to be around me.' The end of her sentence lay unspoken in Jade's head. She may not have held much affection for the girl next to her, but she wasn't about to blame her for something beyond her control. Jade had long since realised the pain at her exclusion from the trip to Karaoke Dokie was more her own problem than anyone else's.

"Are we friends now?" Tori asked hopefully.

"Don't push it." It was such a typical Jade response that Tori couldn't help the small smile that graced her face; Jade rolled her eyes and scowled.

Cat soon reappeared and dragged them to the till and then back out where Jade decided she was picking the next store. Cat chattered happily and Tori seemed to relax a bit more, allowing Cat to draw her into conversation. Even Jade found herself adding in a comment or two, even if they were mostly sarcastic. Even though they went slowly from store to store, it wasn't long before Jade found herself tiring and growing more irritable, despite the luck she'd had in getting some new clothes. Tori suggested they stop off the stationary outlet and Jade texted Beck an SOS, relieved when he responded he was already on his way.

"Jade?"

"What Vega?" Jade asked the tiredness making her voice snap.

"I just thought you might like this?" She was holding out a black, leather bound notebook. Jade took it from her, balancing it on the shelf to get a closer look at the embossed design and dark red stitching around the boundaries. Even she had to admit, it was a beautiful book.

"It's nice." Jade admitted and Tori beamed before quickly wiping the smile from her face in case Jade saw. It was ten minutes later when Tori was purchasing some more manuscript paper for her song writing class that she bumped into Jade at the till, buying the notebook. Tori resisted the urge to comment, finally beginning to feel like she knew how to interact with Jade a bit better than before.

Jade's phone buzzed to signal Beck's arrival and she briefly said goodbye to Cat, who still insisted on trying to squeeze her insides out.

"Cat, let go." She said finally, oxygen deprivation threatening to become a serious issue.

"You'll text me tomorrow? You still haven't said you're coming to the showcase."

"I'll text you." Jade confirmed, the less said about the showcase, the better.

"Bye Jade." Tori offered and, to her surprise, Jade looked right at her.

"Later Vega."

It wasn't much but Tori would take it.


Jade had barely cleared the doors when she heard Beck calling her name.

"You look like you had some fun."

"Don't." Jade passed him her bags and he chucked them into the trunk.

"So, Tori did come huh?"

"You knew about this?" Jade accused, unsure if she had enough energy left to get angry at him.

"It was a possibility, I tried to talk Cat out of it."

Jade gave him a light scowl.

"If I was more awake right now, I'd be shouting at you." She informed him.

"How about I remind you tomorrow, you can yell at me then." Beck suggested playfully as they pulled out into the traffic.

"How was your day otherwise?"

Jade was suddenly wide awake; the awful morning, the crappy therapy session and the phone call all rushing back to her. She swallowed.

"Jade?" Her sudden tense silence had not escaped Beck's notice.

"Shit." She answered shortly, willing her voice not to shake.

"I'm sorry."

Jade swallowed a sharp reply, trying to remember Beck was only trying to help. She kept her eyes fixed on the taillights of the car in-front, determined not to break now. Beck watched her out the corner of his eye before putting a hand across and covering hers. Jade focused on the warmth and slight sweatiness of his hands, before giving them a quick squeeze. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to be tucked up in bed asleep, far away from the problems of the day but she'd take this in the meantime.


And there is chapter 38 - I'm still surprised this has turned into something as long as it has. Jade's still hitting the road bumps but doing her best to get over them. Not so much of Beck in this one but he'll be back next time.

Thanks to those who are still reading and reviewing. I had an insane week so this is a little late, all SPAG mistakes are my own (and I did find some interesting misspellings of Tori's name so if I didn't get them all in the end, have fun laughing at them.).

Please feel free to let me know what you thought :)