Chapter 77 – Miscommunication
At 8:45, Elizabeth started getting ready to head into town. She had just stepped off the porch when she saw the red serge. She was confused, Jack hadn't been wearing his uniform when he left. Elizabeth hurried toward town to realize that it was Joe. She instantly started to panic.
"Is Jack okay?" Elizabeth asked when she reached Joe.
"What do you mean?" McGinty asked.
"Jack left earlier for a ride and hasn't come back yet." Elizabeth said.
"I came here looking for Jack." McGinty said. "I needed to talk to him."
"I need to find him." Elizabeth said.
Elizabeth started to head to town and McGinty grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Slow down." McGinty said. "Let's go back to your house and talk about this."
"No." Elizabeth said in a raised voice. "I need to find Jack."
McGinty kept trying to steer Elizabeth back to the house and she continued to protest. Lee heard the raised voices and came out to see what was going on. He saw Elizabeth upset and talking to McGinty. He went over to find out what was going on. He learned that Jack had gone for a ride after he talked to him and that McGinty had come looking for him to talk. Elizabeth was worried that something happened to Jack.
"Elizabeth." Lee said. " You stay here where it is warm. I think I know where he might have gone. I will go see if I can find him."
"I will go with you." McGinty said.
"I don't want to be alone." Elizabeth said.
"Fine." Lee said . "We will leave you with Abigail. Just give me a minute."
Lee returned to his house and changed his into his boots and a heavier jacket. Then he walked to town with Elizabeth and McGinty. Lee knocked on the cafe door and Abigail answered. She saw an upset Elizabeth standing there with Lee and McGinty.
"What happened?" Abigail asked.
"Jack and Elizabeth had a little fight earlier." Lee said. "He went for a ride and hasn't come back. Elizabeth is worried. McGinty and I are going to go look for him. I think I know where he might be. Can Elizabeth stay with you?"
"Yes, come in." Abigail said. "Boys be safe."
Elizabeth went in with Abigail. Lee and McGinty turned and headed to the livery. When they got there, they saw that Sergeant was still in his stall. That heightened Lee's worry just a little. McGinty looked around and realized that Thor was missing.
"He took Thor." McGinty said. "Jack was worried because he hadn't been ridden a lot lately. He has been trying to rotate which horse he takes when it isn't Mountie business."
"Who is Thor?" Lee asked.
"Elizabeth's horse." McGinty said.
McGinty went to saddle his horse and Lee to see about getting a horse for him to ride. As they were doing that, Lee heard someone coming in. He turned and saw Jack leading a horse into the barn.
"Where have you been?" Lee asked. "Elizabeth is worried sick. McGinty and I were just going to come look for you."
"Sorry." Jack said. "I hadn't planned on being gone this long."
McGinty walked over to greet Jack.
"Here let me take the horse." McGinty said. "Go to the cafe and see your wife. She is really upset. I had wanted to talk to you, but it can wait until tomorrow."
"Are you sure?" Jack asked.
"Yes." McGinty said. "Go see Elizabeth, she needs you more. I can talk to you later."
Lee talked to the livery worker and let him know that he wouldn't need the horse afterall. McGinty took Thor and lead him to a stall to be brushed. Lee walked with Jack to the cafe and filled him on what Elizabeth had said. Jack apologized for causing trouble, but wouldn't tell Lee why he was gone so long. Lee left Jack at the cafe and headed back to his house. Jack knocked on the side door of the cafe. Abigail was concerned because the guys hadn't been gone that long. She was surprised to see Jack standing there.
"Elizabeth here?" Jack asked.
As soon as Elizabeth heard his voice, she ran to his arms and hugged him tight. She then leaned up and kissed Jack. She didn't want to let him go. He hugged her back and held her tight. He knew that he had once again caused her pain and he felt bad. He didn't like when Elizabeth was upset.
"Sorry." Jack said. "I meant to be back sooner."
"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes." Jack said. "Let's go home."
They thanked Abigail and headed back to the row house. Jack didn't talk much on the way home, but Elizabeth could see that he was limping a little. She wondered what happened, but didn't want to ask right then. She was just happy that Jack was back. Elizabeth knew that she needed to talk to Jack, but she wasn't sure what to say. She waited until they were in the house. She took her coat off and hung it up. She then sat down and pulled her boots off. She went over and stoked the fire. She was watching Jack and he was quiet and it was concerning. Finally she couldn't take it anymore.
"Jack." Elizabeth said. "Will you please come talk to me? I am sorry about the way that I acted before. I understand that there are issues around your birthday. I am sorry that I pushed you. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You are my husband and I wanted to make you supper for your birthday. We don't have to do anything else, I promise that I will not throw you a party. I know that you don't want that."
"I am sorry, also." Jack said. "I know that you just wanted to make me a special supper. I talked to Lee and realized that I was being unreasonable. I should have talked to you before, other then my mother, I have never had anyone care enough to want to do something for my birthday. I didn't mean to upset you and I feel bad that I worried you."
"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked. "You were limping earlier and look a little pale. I don't want to push you, but I just want to make sure that you are okay."
"I didn't notice that I was limping." Jack said. "When I was out riding earlier, I got slapped with some branches when I went off the trail. I thought I heard something and I wanted to check it out. I am not sure about being pale. I feel fine. My leg is a little sore, but other then that, I feel okay."
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "Like I said. I don't want to push you, but I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat."
"No." Jack said. "I am not hungry. I just want to go to bed."
Jack banked the fires and made sure that the doors were bolted. Elizabeth turned down the lanterns and they headed up to bed. They both changed and crawled under the covers. Jack pulled Elizabeth close, but didn't do anything other then hold her. She wasn't going to complain, she loved being close to Jack. She loved the feeling of being in Jack's arms and being held close to him, but for some reason it was different that night. Jack held her, but he felt so far away. She wondered what was bothering Jack, she had tried to talk to him, but he didn't seem to want to talk. She wondered if it was just his birthday or was there something else going on. She wished that Jack would open up to her, but she also knew that he had a hard time opening up and talking about things. She would drop it for the time being but keep an eye on him. She hoped that things would get better.
Elizabeth wanted to try and plan something for Friday. Maybe she could arrange for them to go on a ride together, she would have to talk to Bill and McGinty. She just hoped that Jack wouldn't be mad if she tried to do something. She would have to try to talk to him again later in the week. Sleep didn't come easy for Elizabeth that night. Elizabeth wasn't the only one that had trouble sleeping. Jack lay there thinking and getting no where. He thought about what Elizabeth had asked him about being not wanting to be happy. He knew that his father would want him to be happy. He wondered if he was punishing himself because his father died. It had taken a long time for to him be happy and not feel guilty. Ever since his father died he hated his birthday. He knew that it had been wrong of him to treat Elizabeth the way that he had, but he was feeling sorry for himself again and taking it out on her. He knew that she was just trying to do something special for him and he shouldn't have been mad. Jack also thought about what he had to do that week.
He looked forward to keeping busy. He would let Elizabeth know that it would be okay to make him a special supper on Thursday night. He just wanted to get through the week and hopefully he would start to feel better. He hated all the feeling that his birthday brought up. Monday came fast for both Jack and Elizabeth. They got up and got ready for the day. Neither had slept well. Elizabeth made breakfast for them and then lunch for them each to take with. Jack walked Elizabeth to school and made sure that the fire was going before he left. They hadn't said much to each other that morning. Both wanted to talk and could tell that the other had something to say, but neither took the time to say what they were feeling.
Elizabeth struggled that day at school. The kids had tons of energy and Elizabeth had trouble getting them to focus. She snapped at Cody and Robert for talking after she had asked them to stop. She snapped at Anna for asking the same question a couple of times. Elizabeth realized she had snapped at the children and felt bad. She just wished that she had the energy to deal with everything that was going on. She decided that she would let the children out for lunch a few minutes early. She hoped that they would run off some of their energy and the afternoon would be better. Elizabeth grabbed her lunch and went and sat on the steps to keep an eye on the children. It was a fairly warm day for the first part of February and she was grateful that she could let the children out.
Jack had had a pretty good morning other then being tired. He rode and checked on the two families that hadn't been at services the day before. They were both fine, but had not been feeling the greatest during the week. They all just wanted to make sure that no one got sick from being out in the cold. When Jack got back to town, he pulled the disaster plan out of his messenger bag. He wanted to work on it some more. He wanted it done as soon as he could so that he could send it off to headquarters and also give them time to try get the things that they would need. Bill and Joe helped Jack with the plan. Jack still had a number of unanswered questions, but they had done as much as they could at that point. Jack planned to type it up that afternoon. He pulled out his lunch because he needed a break. He ate a little early and then he went for a walk. He stopped by the mercantile and sent out a couple wire messages. He then went over and talked to Lee.
Elizabeth had a better afternoon. They children were a little better behaved. They realized that Elizabeth wasn't in a good mood and chose not to push the matter anymore then they already had. Elizabeth did assign a writing project that would be due on Friday and spelling words for the week. She had planned on sending math home as well, but chose not because she didn't want the parents to complain. Jack also had a better afternoon. He spent most of the time typing. He was able to get one full copy typed up and started on a second. He wanted to get the plan posted to headquarters that week. He thought about taking the stuff home and typing that night, but he didn't know what Elizabeth had planned. He knew that he was riding rounds in the morning, but he figured that he would have time to type it after rounds. Jack excused himself and let Bill and McGinty know that he would be at his house if he was needed.
As Jack walked home, he thought about things. He felt bad for worrying Elizabeth, but he also felt that he was entitled to his feelings. His father may have died years ago, but that didn't change the hurt that it brought. The upcoming anniversary of his death brought those feelings to the surface. He knew that he needed to talk to Elizabeth, but he still wasn't sure what he could say that
could get her to understand without upsetting her. Jack turned around and headed back to town. He needed to talk to Abigail if possible. He figured that if anyone had insight it would be her. Jack walked into the cafe and saw that it wasn't busy, so he asked if he could talk for a moment. Abigail wondered what was going on. After the previous night Abigail figured something was going on. She also figured that it had something to do with Jack's upcoming birthday. She knew about his father and that could be hard.
"What is going on?" Abigail asked.
"You know that it is my birthday this week." Jack said.
"Yes." Abigail said. "I also know that your father died the day after your birthday, is this what this is about?"
"I guess." Jack said. "Elizabeth was talking about doing something special for my birthday and then I got upset and she didn't understand why I didn't want anything to do with my birthday. I know now that she just wanted to make a special supper for her husband on his birthday. She accused me of not wanting to be happy and to keep punishing myself. She said that because I lost my father, I don't want to be happy. I want to be happy, but sometimes that it is hard. I was ten when my father got hurt and eleven when he died. I don't think that she understands how much it still hurts. He was my father. He didn't see me grow up. He didn't see me enter the academy or graduate. He didn't see me as Mountie. He didn't see me get married. My birthday just brings all those feelings back to the surface. I don't usually think about those things and when I do, I realize that they are normal feelings and I get past them quickly."
"I understand." Abigail said. "There are times that the emotions overwhelm me and I need a moment to myself. Birthdays and holidays are worse. I don't think that Elizabeth has ever experienced a loss like that and that it why she can't understand. Try to explain how you feel and let her know that you want to talk to her, but that you also need time."
"I will try." Jack said.
"Anytime." Abigail said. "Maybe write out your feelings first and that way you have already started working through them and it will be easier. I had to do that when my father died and Noah was upset with me."
"Thanks again." Jack said.
