Hi anon, hope this will suffice. It was partially written during a hideous in-service. I tried to make this fit the show's timeline, but since in "Mother" it's implied that they haven't been trying but the in "Answers" they've been trying for three months, I'm not sure it does. Anyhoo, her ya go.
"Hey, since we have a long weekend coming up, maybe we should go on a mini vacation," Deeks suggested. The entire Office of Special Projects was due for a computer overhaul so barring any national emergencies, they were off on Monday.
It couldn't have come at a better time as far as Deeks was concerned. They needed a break after the last week. He turned to look at Kensi, who was sitting beside him at the kitchen table. She had a distant look in her eye, her gaze focused across the room.
Lightly knocking her shoulder, he said,
"Baby, everything ok?"
She'd been a little off since the whole pregnancy scare, unusually quiet and introspective.
"I think I want to start trying."
Deeks swallowed his coffee a little too quickly and coughed a few times before he could managed to say,
"What?" That definitely wasn't what he'd been expecting. Given Kensi's almost melancholy mood at times, he thought she'd been examining all the reasons why bringing a child into the world was a terrible idea.
"I want to start trying to get pregnant," Kensi clarified.
"I thought you wanted a little more time," he said.
"I never said that." True, she hadn't. They never exactly gotten to that point in the conversation before they were, inevitably, interrupted. Deeks had just been happy that Kensi was willing to address the issue. He would have understood completely if she hadn't; in a way, he'd wanted to just ignore it himself. It felt less painful that way.
Pausing to gather his thoughts, he carefully said,
"You were panicking when you thought you might be pregnant. What changed?" Kensi sighed and reached over to squeeze his hand.
"As much as I want to say you're wrong, you're not. I was panicking at first. Once I realized I was late, I started imagining all the things that would change. Everything we'd worked for, our relationship." She stopped and looked at Deeks, hesitating before she added, "But then when I realized I wasn't pregnant, I felt…this indescribable sense of loss."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Deeks asked and Kensi sighed again.
"I didn't want to give you false hope," she told him simply. "I wanted to make sure I still felt the same way once I could think more clearly and wasn't being purely influenced by emotion."
"And now?" Deeks asked calmly, even though in his mind his thoughts were racing. They'd been here before, only to decide that the time wasn't right.
"And now I'm sure," she said simply.
"So you're ok with everything changing? Because you know it has to. Even if we do stay with NCIS in some capacity, we can't both stay in the field. We'll have to start making serious decisions about our future." Kensi nodded calmly, accepting, and said,
"I know. And I'm ready to start making those changes. I don't want to put our lives on hold any longer." She hesitated for a moment and then continued. "The question is, are you ready?"
"You know I've wanted kids for forever," he said, honestly surprised by the question.
"I know, but I don't want this to be only my decision," Kensi said and he wasn't sure if he was imagining the note of apology in her tone. Turning to face her completely, Deeks gathered both Kensi's hands against his chest and looked her directly in the eye. She looked unsure, like there was some chance that he was about to say no.
"Kensi Marie Blye, I absolutely want to have children with you now," he said, unable to stop himself from grinning at the end. Kensi smiled back and leaned her forehead against his. Tipping her chin up, Deeks kissed her gently.
"We're going to make a baby," she whispered, sounding awed by the thought.
"Yeah. We should, um, probably get on that right way." Kensi kissed him again, still smiling.
"That sounds perfect to me," she murmured.
