Tony, unfortunately, confirmed that he would quite happily tell them all about her. He had better not. Ziva had given him her best threatening glare- the one that threatened disembowelment with a rusty spoon but he didn't even look at her. Which was probably good for him but definitely not for her. Great. Fantastic.

"Where are your manners, Ziva?" Francisca chided her, beaming at Tony. "Introduce us all to this handsome gentleman."

"Yeah, Ziva," Tony repeated, not even bothering to hide the grin on his face from beside the older woman. "Manners."

He definitely saw the grin she shot him this time. Made him go pale briefly and take a step back. But he recovered himself and stepped behind Francisca for protection. As if that would protect him.

Anyway, Francisca had a point. She was being a bit rude. Here was Tony standing in a house of a person he did not know and Ziva was not even rectifying that. Well, she would now.

"Tony, this is our host, Francisca Martinez," Ziva said, gesturing at her and then she pointed at each person in turn. "That is Amelia, Lukas and Raphael."

"Pleasure to meet you all," Tony said charmingly.

"Everyone, this is Tony DiNozzo."

"Your partner?" Amelia added.

"Yes."

Ziva did not like the smirk that was on Amelia's face. She knew full well that Tony was her partner so what was the point in stating it?

"What is she like in work?"

"Francisca!" Amelia scolded but she had a smile on her face. "Let him sit down before you start interrogating him!"

"Oh yes." Francisca turned and tugged at Tony's elbow. "We are playing in here," she said, pointing towards her living room.

"Cosy," Tony commented as he looked around with interest.

Or nosiness, as she and McGee liked to call it. Francisca beamed at the compliment.

"You and Ziva can sit together," she told Tony, pointing to seats opposite where she was sitting.

Probably so she could watch them better. Francisca was unashamedly like that.

Everyone gathered around the table and were soon, as was usual in Francisca's house, shoulder to shoulder.

"I still say that we should use your kitchen," Raphael complained, leaning away so Lukas' shoulder did not press into him. "There is not room enough to swing a mouse in here."

"Cat," Tony automatically corrected and then went red with embarrassment. "Sorry."

Raphael raised an eyebrow at him but thankfully didn't look annoyed.

"But a mouse is smaller than a cat," he argued. "And there isn't enough room to squeeze a mouse between any of us."

Tony shrugged, still a bit red, "The animal doesn't change depending on the space."

"Also, you wouldn't go about swinging a mouse," Amelia jumped to his defence.

"But you would swing a cat?" Ziva asked curiously.

Was this another strange American custom she had been unaware of up until now? Apparently not of the extremely odd look than Tony was giving her was anything to go by. Actually, Amelia was giving her a similar look.

"What?" Tony exclaimed. "No, you don't actually swing a cat! Why would you swing a cat? It just means there's no room!"

"Which means you could use any small animal," Ziva pointed out.

"You can't just change the animal! It wouldn't make sense."

"It already doesn't make sense!"

"It's you that doe-" Tony was about to retort when he slumped in his seat. He looked both dejected and awkward.

"What?" Ziva asked.

"I just realised that I can't comment on your English skills."

"Make fun of, you mean," Ziva corrected.

"You make fun of her English skills?" Francisca asked in a disapproving tone.

"No." "Yes," both of them said at the same time and glared at each other.

"You are lying," Ziva accused, folding his arms.

"I am not!" he retorted. "I correct you, not make fun."

"You tease me!"

"What does it matter?" Lukas asked in exasperation. "So, Tony teases Ziva. Can we play the game now?"

"In a moment," Amelia said absentmindedly making Lukas groan.

Ziva gave him a sympathetic look. She also would like to play the game and stop Tony from talking too much.

"Why can't you tease here?"

Tony suddenly looked uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his head as he thought of a response. Ziva smirked. Oh yes, how was he going to explain himself without inadvertently insulting pretty much everyone in the room?

"Uh, well," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "Because... her, well-"

As amusing as it was to see the usually smooth-talking Anthony DiNozzo fall over his words, Ziva decided to take pity on him.

"Because he does not want to accidentally insult anyone else," she explained.

"Ziva!" Tony complained.

"What, it is true."

"That implies that I was going to insult you."

"You were though, weren't you?"

"Just your English!"

Everyone else's heads were swivelling between them like they were watching a tennis match. Most of them look amused except for a very disgruntled Lukas.

"Are you two usually like this?" Amelia asked, her lips twitching.

"No."

"Yes."

"I suppose we're normally worse," Tony admitted.

"Tony!"

"We are."

Ziva opened her mouth to argue again but suddenly realised that everyone was looking at them with great interest. With a disgruntled noise, she closed her mouth with a snap. Getting one up on Tony was not worth the spectacle they were making of themselves.

"Ha! You agree!"

She gave him a pinch on a point on his arm she knew was very sensitive. He yelped loudly and almost smacked Raphael in the face.

"Ziva!"

The only acknowledgement she gave him was a satisfied smirk. Her friends looked somewhat horrified.

"That was unnecessary," Francisca scolded her.

"Trust me, that's tame for her," Tony tried to assure her.

Not even ten minutes in and her reputation with these people was going down the sink.

"The game please," Lukas complained, waving the tile bag at them.

"Right, the game," Tony agreed, cracking his knuckles. He looked over at Amelia. "One of us is bound to win this, right?"

"I wouldn't be too sure of that."