Hermione's eyes fluttered open as the bright light streamed in through the curtains, for a moment she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her skin, it was comforting. For that briefest of moments, she felt okay, she felt happy that Ginny and Seamus had finally had their little baby boy and they were now a family of three. Then the sadness hit, she took a deep breath as she stared at the ceiling, the tears falling gently, and she made no effort to wipe them away. She could barely remember getting home from the hospital last night, everything seemed to go in slow motion and all she could remember was being exhausted. The whole day had taken it out of her, and of Charlie.
Hermione looked to her side to find her husband still sleeping soundly beside her, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. One of Charlie's arms were draped comfortingly over her stomach, she placed her own hand over his and tried not to make a sound. She lay like that for a few moments, crying to herself and thinking about the unimaginable decision she would have to make soon. A decision that no mother and father should have to make over their unborn baby. But she didn't want their baby to be in pain anymore, in the one place that they were meant to be safe, their baby was hurting.
Charlie began to stir beside her and after a moment his eyes opened slowly, wincing at the bright light of the sun before they began to adjust. His attention automatically turning to Hermione who was staring at the ceiling. "Mione?"
"Hmm?"
Charlie shuffled closed to her, pressing a tender kiss to her shoulder and holding her closer to him. "Are you okay?"
Hermione's eyes snapped to his own, "Am I okay?" She whispered. "Am I okay? Really, Charlie. We just got told our baby is going to die yesterday and you're asking me if I'm okay?!"
Charlie sighed, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "I'm sorry, I know that was a stupid question. I...I just..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say or what to do
Hermione bit her lip, this was just as hard for Charlie as it was for her, she knew he didn't mean to hurt her by asking if she was okay, he was genuinely concerned as her husband but she couldn't help but snap at him. "No, I'm sorry Charlie. I shouldn't have snapped" She intertwined their fingers together and they lay in silence side by side. Neither knowing what to do or what to say.
"I never thought we would be in this position" Hermione admitted, "You always see or read about people going through something like this, and you never think about what if it happened to you"
Charlie nodded, "It's so unfair"
"Life's a bitch isn't it?" Hermione laughed bitterly. "After everything we've been through you would think life would allow us this little bit of happiness and peace. But no, it decides to torture us some more"
Charlie hugged her tightly, burying his face in her hair and not wanting to let her go. He wished they could just stay in their happy bubble, that their baby was going to be fine and they could enjoy everything that first time parents got to enjoy. Why did this have to happen to them? Why did it have to happen to anyone? Life was a cruel mistress.
"I wish we didn't have to tell anyone" Hermione sighed, the thought of having to tell Ginny and Seamus while they were enjoying their first days of parenthood wasn't right, then of course Lavender and Ron, George and Angelina, they were all due their babies shortly. She didn't want to make any of them feel guilty for enjoying their new-borns, she didn't want to ruin their happiness with her misery.
"We have to tell them though; we can't keep this from our family" Charlie stated, the family deserved to know the truth.
"I know they do, but at what cost?" Hermione turned to face him, she reached out and cupped his cheek gently. "They deserve their happiness; I don't want to take that away from them"
Charlie frowned, "You won't be taking away their happiness Hermione, something like this would make them cherish what they have even more"
Hermione shrugged, "Maybe or maybe it will make them feel guilty around us. Guilty about being able to hold their little baby in their arms while we're going to have to possibly bury ours"
Charlie winced at her brutal words. "We shouldn't think of that right now"
"Why not?" Hermione questioned, "It's going to happen Charlie. Our baby is going to die. Our baby is dying inside of me right now and there's nothing we can do about it. There's nothing I can do. My body is meant to be the safest place for our child but instead it's hurting them, their bones are breaking inside of me and they're in pain!" She shouted, the tears spilling down her cheeks as she pushed Charlie's arm off her and jumped out of bed. Hermione grabbed her dressing gown, avoiding Charlie's gaze.
Charlie watched for a moment as Hermione begun to break down on front of him, this was incredibly hard for him, but he couldn't imagine how hard it must be for her, she was the one carrying the baby and to be told that their baby was in pain inside of her, he couldn't imagine what that must feel like. Charlie jumped out of bed and practically ran to her, he stood on front of her and held her gently in his arms. "Don't be blaming yourself Hermione, this isn't your fault. It's no one's fault, okay?"
Hermione pressed her head to his chest, nodding slowly and sniffling. It was hard to not blame yourself for the pain your baby was in. She was their Mother and a Mother should always protect her baby but that was taken away from her and from Charlie. "I'm sorry" Her voice croaked.
"Don't be sorry, we're going through something unimaginable, you shouldn't be sorry for how you're feeling" Charlie whispered, squeezing her tightly and holding her for as long as she needed. The two stood in each other's embrace, trying to comfort one another as much as they could.
Hermione had slowly begun to calm down again, the tears had eventually stopped even though she knew there would be more later. She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed, "Your Mum asked us to come over for tea. Do you want to go? We can just stay here if you want?"
Charlie shook his head, "No, you go on. I'll meet you there in a bit, I was going to go speak to Bill for a bit"
Hermione nodded, she stood on her tip toes and pressed a loving kiss to his lips. Charlie returned the kiss eagerly, he couldn't remember the last time they had kissed, whether it had been a few days or longer. This whole situation had thrown them through a loop. He slowly pulled away, staring at Hermione for a moment before pressing a kiss to her temple. "I love you Hermione, always remember that"
Hermione smiled. "I will, and I love you too Charlie"
Hermione walked through the door to the Burrow, enjoying the feeling of warmth and comfort spread through her as she entered her second home. Just being here could always help her feel a bit better. The living room was empty, something she still wasn't used to after it being so busy over the years while she was there. She entered the kitchen and the smell of freshly baked cookies hit her nose, her stomach grumbling at the scent. As if it read her mind (and heard her stomach), the cookies were plated and drifted to the table just as Molly walked through the door.
"Oh, Hermione dear, I'm so glad you could make it" Molly smiled and hugged the younger girl tightly as she could.
"Thank you for inviting me"
Molly waved her hand as they took a seat together at the table, she used her wand to bring over the tea and some cups. Once they were all settled Molly turned to Hermione, a concerned look etched on her face. "Hermione, what's going on? I don't think I've seen you look so...lost in a long time"
Hermione sighed, her fingers playing with the rim of her cup nervously as she tried to find the words to say. Her bottom lip begun to tremble and before she knew it Hermione was a blubbering mess as she told Molly what had happened.
The Weasley matriarch felt her heart breaking as Hermione broke down into tears telling her the news of their baby and then having to meet Ginny and Seamus' new son, her guilt at not wanting to tell anyone in fear of making them feel guilty of having their baby around her and Charlie. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry" Molly pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair gently to try help her calm down.
"There's no...no way I can do what I need to do" Hermione choked out through a sob
"Shh, shh" Molly rocked her back and forth. "There is a way sweetheart, there's always a way"
Molly briefly heard the front door open, her eyes snapping to the kitchen door ready to tell whoever it was to go away until they were finished in here. She relaxed though when it was Charlie who walked through, red rims around his eyes. "Oh my boy, come here"
Charlie rushed forward and was gladly enveloped in a hug between his Mother and Hermione, he finally allowed himself to break once again as he sobbed into his Mother's shoulder, something he hadn't done since he was a child, and clung onto her as if she was his life line. The three of them stayed like that until both Hermione and Charlie's tears had quietened down some. "Now, have you looked into all of the options? You've told me what the muggles said dear, but what about St Mungo's"
Hermione shook her head, "I..I researched it last night once we got home, even they don't have a cure for it. They have treatments available but...but it doesn't always work and even if it did, it doesn't put the survival rate up much higher" She hiccupped. "I don't want to put our baby through even more pain for it not to work"
Molly nodded in understanding, "Of course, you need to make what you think is the right decision for you and your baby"
Hermione gulped, squeezing Charlie and Molly's hand as tightly as she could. "I just don't think I can do it" She whispered
"I know it may not seem like it Hermione, but you can do it. You are so strong for having to go through this and make this difficult choice" Molly smiled sadly at her. "If it's what you choose to do, then just pick a day to be induced, as the Muggles told you, and you'll give birth to your beautiful baby, you'll give them a name and get them christened right then and there. You'll get to hold that little baby and talk to them and sing to them" She whispered as she moved out of the way for Charlie to fully envelope her in an embrace, she stayed by Hermione's side, holding tightly onto her hand.
"You're going to look at their little face and memorize every single detail about their face, and you can do that for as long as they live. And you will do that, with Charlie by your side and with us, your family around you. Everyone will be here for you"
Hermione nodded, she turned her head to face Charlie and to look into his eyes. "I can do that Mione" He whispered
"You'd do that for me? For us?"
Charlie held back a sob and nodded, "Of course I will! I'd do it for the baby, for you. For us"
With her family beside her, Hermione knew what she had to do, it was something she wished she never had to do or something that anyone would ever have to do. But what she could do was hold their baby, to cuddle them, sing to them and cherish whatever amount of time they would have. That was something Hermione knew that she and Charlie could do.
