Chapter 39
"Let me know when you begin the new tea,
and the new white wine.
My present elegances have not yet made me indifferent to such matters.
I am still a cat if I see a mouse."
- Jane Austen [Letter to Casandra]
"Tell me a secret," Rose asked softly, trailing her fingers across Remus' bare torso. Yawning, he looked at her with sleepy eyes, pulling her closer to him. Their bare bodies, tired from the previous activities, fit together perfectly.
"Hmm," he mused for a moment before grinning wickedly at her. "I'm a werewolf."
"Shocking," she rolled her eyes at him. Remus wrapped his other arm around her, and Rose nuzzled against his chest.
"Tell me a secret," he said.
'I'm in love with you,' she thought silently before brushing the confession aside.
"I'm a werewolf too," she mumbled into his chest. Remus slapped her lightly on her bare buttocks, and she jumped, mewling in protest. He tilted his head down and kissed her affectionately, running his hands up and down her back. Rose arched her back, pressing herself firmly against him.
"Why do you want to know a secret," Remus asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face when they broke apart.
"I want to know everything about you, Remus. All the things that make you laugh. Your hopes, dreams, fears. Your favorite color, favorite breakfast food… you know, all the important stuff," she said with a cheeky grin.
"My favorite color is blue, as for breakfast food, I'd have to say chocolate chip pancakes," he grinned at her, and his eyes were thoughtful. "And… if you want to know a secret we'd need to get dressed and get out of bed."
"Hmm," she thought this over skeptically, letting her eyes run over his naked body appreciatively. "Can we come back to bed after?"
Lupin let out a hearty laugh at this, kissed her nose, and sat up. Getting out of bed and pulling on her wrinkled uniform, she followed him out to his office. She perched on the edge of his desk when he sat in his chair and watched him pull open one of the side drawers. Her breath caught when he pulled out a familiar looking folded sheet of parchment. As he unfolded it, she saw that it did seem to be just a blank spare piece of parchment.
"If I tell you a secret, I want your promise that you'll answer one of my own questions," he said seriously. Rose met his blue eyes with her own and hesitated for a heartbeat before nodding; it wasn't difficult for her to guess what he'd want to know from her in exchange.
"Deal," she agreed, and taking out his wand, Remus tapped the front of the parchment with it.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he recited, and Rose raised her eyebrows at this. Then, as lines and words began appearing across the surface of the parchment, she leaned closer in obvious curiosity.
"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers, are proud to present the Marauder's Map," she read aloud as the words became discernable on the parchment surface. "What is that?"
"Have a look," he grinned, offering the parchment to her. Rose took it delicately and flipped it open, her eyes roaming around the pages.
She could immediately tell that the map depicted the castle and the grounds. She saw that there were additions that she didn't recognize—paths that trailed away from the castle from unexpected locations. And all around the castle moved small ink dots each accompanied by their own label. Most of these were clustered together on top of each other in the four common rooms and the library and were impossible to read. Rose recognized the names of various students and teachers who wandered up and down the corridors. Her eyes finally rested on the office where two dots labeled Remus Lupin and Rose Potter Malfoy were resting.
"What is this?" She asked again, her eyes wide with awe.
"This is the Marauder's Map. It shows everyone in Hogwarts—wherever they are, whatever they're doing," he told her. Rose flipped the map shut, running her fingers across the names on the front page. 'Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.'
"Did you make this?" Rose asked, her fingers lingering over the word 'Moony'.
"Not just me, your dad too, and a couple others," he said with a smile.
"This is… this is incredible, Remus," Rose replied, her eyes continuing to roam around the map, trying to identify the various advanced magics that must have gone into its creation. Rose had always heard about James from the perspective of the Malfoys or from the derogatory perspective of Severus Snape. She'd long heard about how arrogant, how reckless, how lazy James Potter had been—she had never known he was also a brilliant wizard capable of such creative and advanced uses of magic. Holding the map in her hands was like looking back in time and seeing a side of her father she'd never known existed. Rose was surprised to feel pride at being the daughter of one of the people who had created this.
"James came up with the idea," Remus said. "It took us five years to figure out how to do it and make the final version."
"You can't have used simple mapping spells since Hogwarts is unplottable… did you teach it what the castle looked like?" Rose mused curiously. "It reminds me of the enchanted portraits, but you've managed to get it to accurately reflect the castle's current occupants."
"That's where James got the idea from," Remus said, impressed that she'd made the connection so quickly—she was her father's daughter it seemed.
"You must have used some very advanced charmswork." Rose regretted not taking charms to the N.E.W.T.s level for the first time.
"That was one of the steps," he grinned at her. She could tell he was enjoying the praise—the cocky look on his face made Remus appear years younger.
"Is the map sentient then?"
"Not fully," he hedged. "But it can imitate us to some extent."
"Can it still learn?"
"Only from one of us, I think, but I'm not sure it would even recognize me now. Even if it did, I wouldn't want to change it, it's nice to think of our teenage selves preserved in its pages."
"Thank you for showing this to me, Remus, it's amazing." Rose smiled sincerely at the man, folding it up and handing it back to him. He tapped it with his wand again, said "mischief managed", and put the fading map back into his desk drawer.
"Now… was there something you wanted to ask me?" Rose asked, deciding to get this over with as quickly as possible. Remus looked at her with clear blue eyes, obviously considering how to phrase the question. He took one of her hands in his own, tracing the lines of her palm delicately with his thumb.
"I want to know what's going on between you and Severus," he said with conviction, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Nothing is going on between us, Remus. And that's the truth," Rose began hesitantly, taking a deep breath to steel her nerves. "But we did have something. Last year. It started over Christmas and ended in June. It was a mistake; I don't really think there's much more to say about it. And just to be clear, I'm not here with you now because I'm collecting notches in my belt. I've never told anyone about what happened between Severus and me. At the time, I thought I loved him, and I… I really care about you Remus—more than I ever thought I could."
She watched while various expressions flickered across his face. Could see the disgust at her relationship with a man he clearly did not respect, the suspicion that she was using him, the anger that she'd kept the relationship a secret till now, and the conflict of disapproving while trying to reconcile what was currently happening between them. But the whole time he never dropped her hand, and after a few moments he smiled tiredly at her. The knot of anxiety in her gut lessened at the affectionate look in his eyes. It felt surprisingly good to have someone else know the secret she'd kept hidden for over a year. She never thought she'd trust someone enough to tell them about it.
"Thanks for telling me, Rose," Remus said at last, and, standing, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, and she knew all was well between them.
The month of May was speeding by all around her. Despite the stress of her upcoming N.E.W.T.s and the general anxiety of her ever-approaching wedding date, when she was in Remus Lupin's arms, Rose had never felt so content. Time seemed to no longer be counted in hours or minutes or seconds, but in moments together—in stolen kisses, molten glances, and gentle caresses.
The pair had become so unable to keep their hands off one another over the past few weeks that if Rose sincerely wanted to get any actual studying done, she now had to resign herself to spending time in the crowded library. Though lounging in the arms of Remus Lupin was far preferable to pouring over textbooks or completing homework assignments—Rose had worked hard for her academic achievements and was not about to fail out of her seventh year on his account. That was how she found herself that Wednesday afternoon, sitting at a small table by a window, pouring over her alchemy notes. She had been lucky to grab a table with a window as the room was full to bursting mostly with fifth and seventh-year students. It was drizzling outside, and this had limited options on study areas. Sam, Ava, and Mariko had their charms class at this time, so she had a free period to study.
"Excuse me," a timid voice asked, drawing Rose out of the depths of her alchemy textbook. Rose looked up to see a shy, rather tired looking Hermione Granger.
"I already told you three that I've done all I can about Buckbeak," Rose tried not to snap at the girl.
"Oh, it's not that." Hermione replied quickly and tucked a frizzy curl behind her ear. "I was wondering if I could sit here, everywhere else is full."
"Sure," Rose said—much more magnanimously than she felt. But what was she going to do, make the kid sit on the floor? And Hermione was looking so haggard and tired that it made Rose feel a bit sorry for the obviously overworked girl. She quickly shifted some of her textbooks around so that Hermione had space to lay her own books.
"Are you studying arithmancy?" Hermione asked interestedly, sitting down across from her. Rose thought this was a bit of a silly question given the girl could easily see her copy of Advanced Arithmancy for the N.E.W.T Student.
"Yep," Rose said, hoping for a quick end to the conversation.
"I just started the subject this year, it's already my favorite subject! Professor Vector makes everything so interesting."
"Glad you're enjoying it," Rose said, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips at Hermione's obvious enthusiasm. It reminded her of her own early years at Hogwarts in which every new subject filled her with wonder and excitement. Those years when she was especially determined to be the best at everything in order to make her mother and father proud.
"Is it true that at the N.E.W.T.s level you learn how to create your own spells?" Her eyes were wide with curiosity.
"In the second year," Rose confirmed and slid her textbook over to Hermione. "You're welcome to look through that if you can get it back to me by Friday. I shouldn't need it till then."
"Thank you!" Hermione said sincerely, happily accepting the book and tucking it into an already overflowing bag.
"How many subjects are you taking?" Rose asked incredulously at the site of her bag.
"Twelve," she answered, her cheeks coloring a delicate pink. Rose blanched at this. A normal schedule for third years was somewhere in the realm of eight to ten classes. She remembered struggling to keep up with the nine she had taken.
"Do you ever sleep?"
"Of course I do," she insisted, though the bags under her eyes belied her assertion. "Actually, I recently dropped divination, so I suppose I'm only taking eleven now."
"Good," Rose responded immediately, and Hermione looked taken aback at this. "Leave yourself time to have fun once in a while. You don't want to wind up like Percy Weasley."
"Percy is a great student," Hermione defended her fellow Gryffindor. "He's very intelligent."
"The only things Percy knows anything about come from inside a book. There's more to life than that, trust me." Rose replied disdainfully. Percy was famously taking twelve N.E.W.T.s—a feat few students had ever accomplished, and was looking so overworked at this point in the term that he could barely spare a second to speak to anybody. Rose had no idea how he was even getting to all of his classes on time, but this oddity had been a consistent mystery since their third year together and all of their classmates had just accepted it by now. Hermione didn't look particularly convinced by Rose's assertion about there being more to life than the inside of a book, and the pair went back to studying quietly together. It was nearly an hour later when another voice interrupted them.
"Sister… Granger," drawled Draco Malfoy in a disdainful tone of voice. Rose glanced up from her book to see her little brother looking back and forth between the pair of them curiously.
"Draco," Rose greeted, a warning tone in her voice. Hermione continued to stare into her own textbook, trying her best to ignore her classmate. Rose suddenly felt incredibly stupid for allowing herself to be seen in such a public place with a Gryffindor muggle-born who was also famously one of Harry Potter's best friends. If her parents were asking Severus Snape about what was going on with her, there was no way they hadn't asked Draco as well, and this situation would just be adding fuel to the fire.
"Lupin asked me to give this to you," he said, offering her a note. His tone of voice clearly indicated how he felt about being asked to deliver messages.
"Thank you," Rose said, taking the note and looking it over.
'Rose, if you're free please meet me in my office this afternoon to talk about the final exam for my third-year classes—I could use your help getting it ready. –Professor Lupin'
Standing up, she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed towards the door.
"Thanks for letting me sit with you," Hermione called after her, but Rose acted like she didn't hear and quickly swept from the room.
"Why were you sharing a table with that mudblood," Draco asked coldly, following after her.
"I wasn't sitting with her—there were no other spaces available. You'd know how crowded it's been if you ever studied for your own exams. Don't forget how disappointed father has been in your academic performance the past two years," Rose quickly redirected the conversation. From the skeptical look in Draco's eyes, she wasn't sure it had worked.
