A/N: As you may have noticed, it's been a while since my last update…and for that, I'm sorry. But the closer we get to the end, the more I drag my feet.
I've found that the more I write, and the more I share, the more I understand how much my own feelings are impacted by my characters' emotions.
I rejoice with them. I hurt with them. I cry with them. A lot of the time, I'm just a human with tears dripping on my keyboard.
That's the reality of writing. So, when I'm not updating, it isn't because I don't care or don't appreciate you.
It isn't that I don't respect you and your time; it's that I need to respect myself and my time, too.
I need to make sure that I'm okay finishing something that has all of me.
Because when it's gone, we'll be left without this Twilight family.
And that is really and truly devastating for me.
But the end is coming quickly.
Maybe two or three chapters.
Thank you for being here.
At the end of an extremely tense meeting with the pack in which no headway was made, it was Angela that found a solution.
"What if we hold some kind of memorial service for Jess on the beach? Pretty much everyone in Forks would turn out."
Bella's stomach flip-flopped at the look in her friend's eyes.
She knows.
"That could work," Jasper whispered. "I know Esme would be willing to help in terms of gathering up supplies."
"As long as she doesn't cook anything," Jacob cut in quickly. "I mean. I'm sure she's great, but uh. You kinda smell. Like bleach."
Emmett laughed loudly at that, and any remaining tension between the groups began to ease.
"So, we have a plan?" Bella asked slowly.
"Guess so," Jacob confirmed. "You said Charlie pretty much knows everything?"
"Yeah…I don't know if I can make him stay on the beach while it all goes down, though."
"But it's dangerous!" Jacob was suddenly furious. "How can you risk him like that?"
Even the wolves seemed displeased, but Bella didn't feel like being generous.
Bella glared at her friend while her mate shifted his body to hold his hand on her shoulder. Just in case.
"I'm not risking anything, Jacob Black. What my father does or doesn't do isn't my call. I just said I can't make him do anything. And I have enough to deal with, that I don't need your condemnation on top of that."
Jacob sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. "Fine. Whatever."
"Then we're done here," Rose declared, her voice icy.
"Guess so."
The pack turned to leave, save for Angela and the wolf Bella recognized as Embry.
Angela's eyes darted between Bella and Rosalie. "Can you two hang back for a few?"
She sounded hesitant, and Bella couldn't blame her. So much in her life had changed, so quickly, and it wouldn't be normal if she didn't have questions.
The two girls stayed behind, with reassurances from their mates that their conversation would be private.
Embry gave Angela one last nudge and took off after the pack.
"Where is she?"
Bella swallowed, and wasn't sure how to answer. "I—"
"No more lies. Her body wasn't found, and I'm not stupid."
Bella sat roughly on a boulder and both girls followed suit, preparing for a longer discussion.
"Look, it hasn't been easy for her," Rosalie admitted, confirming Angela's suspicions.
"So, you violated the treaty?"
"Not technically," Bella muttered. At Angela's cold stare, she continued, "it wasn't a Cullen that changed her."
Angela paused, considering the answer. "Well, that's good, I guess."
"Does anyone else know?" Rosalie asked her pointedly.
"No," Angela stared at her shoes. "Embry understands that there will be things I can't share with him, especially with his connection to the pack. Whatever he thinks is going on with me is just speculation if we don't talk about it."
"That's really cool of him," Bella said with a smile.
"He's understanding," Angela answered with a slowly spreading grin. "He's really, really great, actually. We have so much in common, and so many ideas— it's ridiculous."
"I'm glad," Rosalie said, her own smile unable to be contained. "You deserve that."
A moment later, Angela's face darkened with guilt. "Jess does too."
Bella and Rosalie looked at each other uneasily.
"Well, about that," Bella started slowly.
"Her mate changed her," Rosalie finished for the shifter.
"Wait, what?" Angela looked caught between anxiety and joy. "I— that's amazing!" she looked back down at her shoes and considered her next words carefully. "Do you think…do you think that she'll maybe talk to me?"
"Uh, absolutely!" Rosalie answered. "I think that things have changed enough for the better that we'll be okay again."
"Which would be nice, because I kind of miss you, Ang," Bella chimed in.
"I miss you all too," Angela admitted with tears welling in her eyes.
"We didn't mean to abandon you," Rosalie whispered gently.
"No, I know. Keeping these kinds of secrets is really important in terms of staying safe. And it wasn't like you waited years to tell me or anything."
"Thanks for understanding," Bella said with a smile.
"Are you sure you're ready for this, sweetheart?"
"I'm sure." Jessica pulled on the tassels of her rain jacket and tightened the hood over her hair, to keep her hidden from behind before she stepped off to the side.
Esme raised her hand and knocked on the door of the young vampire's former home. There were a few moments of silence, followed by slow, trudging footsteps, and then, the door swung open.
"Mrs. Cullen," Jessica's mom addressed her kindly, if not a little detachedly. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, it's more about what I can do for you, dear." Esme gave the woman a soft smile, and in her willful voice said, "you can't react until we're inside and the door is closed. Do you understand?"
The woman nodded her head and watched as Esme, followed by her missing daughter filed into her home. The instant the door was closed, Mrs. Stanley burst into tears and clenched her daughter tightly to her chest.
"Oh, my sweet Jessie! Where have you been? Are you okay? I was— I thought— you were gone for so long! What happened?"
"It's okay, mom," Jessica whispered quietly, trying to conserve her oxygen.
"But you're so cold!"
Mrs. Stanley broke away from her daughter's arms and studied her face, finally seeing her.
"I know. Um. I died, mom."
Mrs. Stanley collapsed onto the lowermost stair and looked up at her daughter. "Wha— what?"
"It's important that you don't panic or scream," Esme told her pointedly. "I won't take away your emotions, I want you to process your feelings, but no one can know Jessica is here."
Mrs. Stanley nodded quickly. "I— yes, I won't do anything that would make you have to leave. Are you okay— are you still…you?"
"Thanks, mom," Jessica's voice wavered with her own emotions. "So, uh. Yeah, I'm still me. Vampires are real, and I was changed so I wouldn't die. I mean. Not fully die. Uh. I am kind of dead, right?" Her last question was directed to Esme.
"It's debatable."
Mrs. Stanley laughed nervously. "I— I believe you, because that was the most 'Jessie' explanation I've ever heard."
Jessica smiled and looked down at her feet. "Yeah, that hasn't changed."
"You didn't need to," her mother asserted firmly. "I'm— I've been thinking so much lately about— well, I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to be different than you are, or had to be like everyone else, Jessie. You're amazing the way you are, and I hope you know I never wanted you to be anyone else."
Jessica nodded her head, venom slowly filling her eyes and she stooped to hold her mother again. "I'm so sorry this is happening."
"Well it isn't your fault honey," her mom pointed out calmly. "I'd rather you be here than not." That line of thinking seemed to bring Mrs. Stanley back to the present situation. "So, what does this mean, then?"
"I can't be seen. I can't stay around too long. But maybe I can come back someday."
"Isn't there…isn't there any way that I could— I could move, Jessie! I could go where you go. I just want to be here for you."
"I know," Jessica whispered roughly. "It isn't safe right now, but when it is, we can talk about it, okay?"
Her mother nodded quickly. "Just don't go without saying goodbye."
"Mrs. Stanley," Esme cut in quietly. "I want to give you a choice, but when we leave, there are stipulations."
"What do you mean?"
"Esme can make you forget we were here. She can tell you to not give up hope, to take comfort, to believe I'm still out there, but to not be pained…she can make it so that you know, deep down, we'll be together again."
"Or I can simply make it so you can't tell anyone about your daughter at all, but you'll be left with the knowledge that she's out there, as a vampire."
"Why not a little bit of both," Jessica's mother suggested with a laugh. "Please let don't take away what you are, and that you're still here, Jessie. Help me to keep in mind that we'll be together again? That I haven't lost you, not really. I love you so much, and I can't imagine not having you in my life, no matter what that looks like."
"I'd like that," Jessica whispered and clutched her mother more tightly, but tried to be mindful of her fragile body.
When she pulled away, Esme said the magic words, and Mrs. Stanley couldn't speak of her daughter's present state to anyone outside of Jessica herself, understood the need for some distance— for now— but would see Jessica again someday. Knowing was enough.
"Thank you," she choked out to Esme when the vampires turned to leave.
"Of course, Mrs. Stanley," Esme answered with a smile. "I'll make sure your Jessie comes back to you."
Jasper felt his world coming to a close, like he was reading the last few pages of a book as slowly as possible.
Bella, Charlie, Charlotte, Peter, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Garrett, Jessica, Angela, and even Alice…everyone had finally come together. And instead of each being terrified of the challenges ahead, they were collectively strong and prepared.
The strangest family that I never knew was waiting for me. For us.
The day was warm and inviting, semi-cloudy, but bright enough to let the vampires glow, much to Charlie's amusement, and a nearly endless mountain of questions for them. There was food for the humans, outdoor games— most of which resulted in Emmett tearing up the lawn and apologizing to Esme for the ruined horseshoe stakes, croquet mallets, and punctured footballs. It was the most natural thing in the world, and not even the looming threat could dampen their joy at simply being together.
Jasper studied his mate, and let her shared happiness envelop him.
We can't give this up. Not now that we have it. Finally.
The night ended with couples going off to their respective rooms, or hunting grounds, or in the case of Jessica and Garrett, escorting Angela home. When only Bella and her father, along with Carlisle and Esme remained of the group, the empath tried to get a hold on the mix-bag of emotions that were washing over him.
Charlie was worried but holding it together. Esme was hopeful as ever, which was a relief…but Carlisle. Carlisle was feeling overwhelming guilt, despite the wide smile on his face.
Jasper had tried to ignore it throughout the day, but it was hard to miss the one blemish among the vibrantly happy family. Whatever was going on, the doctor was battling something inside of himself, and it left Jasper feeling nervous as a result.
Bella noted his change in demeanor and reached her shield out intentionally to enclose him in her love and reassurance while her father and Esme talked through the upcoming plans. But the moment she drew away again, there was still a pang of guilt, coming straight from Carlisle.
Well, that's…concerning.
Jasper was about to suggest his rather sleepy mate get home when his father stood up.
"Can I talk to you, Bella?"
"Of course," Bella answered him easily.
She followed him into their home, and Jasper listened intently while trying to give them the illusion of privacy.
"I just want you to know how sorry I am, Bella."
"It isn't your fault!" the shifter reassured him quickly.
"It is, though…Edward is my son, I did this, I'm doing this."
The feelings coming from his father were somehow right and wrong. There was something under his words, something that made the man feel both better and worse to be admitting to.
What exactly that was, Jasper had no idea.
But that it was strange wasn't a question.
"I can't stop dreaming about my mom," Bella whispered into the darkness of her bedroom when they finally turned in for the night. "And sometimes I worry it's my brain's way of telling me that I'm going to die, too. That maybe I'm supposed to."
"If there's one thing I can promise you, it's that you will survive this. There is nothing I won't do to keep you safe."
"You can't know that," Bella chastised him quietly. "You can't. I can't. No one can. Not even Alice."
Jasper remained silent, thinking, plotting, strategizing, as though he hadn't thought every aspect, every possibility, to death.
"I just feel like we're missing something crucial," he said absentmindedly. "Like the puzzle is close to being finished, but we're missing a piece, and until we get it, it won't be finished."
Bella nodded her agreement. "Today was great, and felt like…closure. Like maybe whatever is coming is going to pull it all together."
"Unfortunately, patience isn't my strong suit."
"I know," she snuggled closer and placed a kiss on his neck. "I love you."
"I love you too, darlin'", he answered, and she could almost hear his smile.
Their lips met gently, their bodies moved together slowly, and for a few minutes, there was nothing more pressing to concern themselves with but making sure the other felt safe, happy, loved, and reassured.
Bella woke with a splitting headache and opened her eyes, only to find more darkness. If she wasn't mistaken, there was rock below her, and the chill in the air made her think of caves. If she was in a cave, how did she get there?
The last thing she could remember was Esme explaining that aside from a few families that hadn't known Jessica's well, and people that were unfortunate enough to have to work at the grocery store and gas station, most of Forks had made it to the beach on the reservation. If each phase of the plan went as well as the first, the day would be a piece of cake.
Phase two, however, did not go exactly as planned. Between the vampires finishing off their hunting shifts, running patrols, and keeping watch for movement from the Volturi, they were once again spread thin.
Her brain struggled then, and the memories grew hazier. Bella had been in the process of talking Charlie into going to the reservation, too. He didn't want to go, he was adamant he wouldn't go. But then he fell, and there was nothing.
She tried not to panic, tried to keep her breathing under control, but was hyperventilating in seconds. She pushed herself up until she was on her hands and knees and felt around in the dark. What she was looking for, Bella wasn't sure.
It wasn't until she found what she imagined was her father's warm body that Bella remembered she was, in fact, a shifter, and there was any number of animals that had enhanced vision capabilities to better see her surroundings. She fell back on her mountain lion form seconds later and gave herself a moment to adjust.
Bella scanned her surroundings and sniffed at the body on the ground— it was Charlie, but he didn't seem to be bleeding, which was a plus; just unconscious.
Her sharp ears caught a hint of movement and she couldn't hold back the growl that grew in her throat.
"I need to speak with you."
A shudder of familiarity ran through the shifter and she realized she had heard the voice before— well, kind of. It was the first time Bella heard it from a mouth, rather than a maw.
She didn't have to think about it, not even for a second, and Bella phased back into her human form— she had a bone to pick with the woman. "Dragon."
"Iz," the Dragon answered her warmly.
"Cut the crap."
The Dragon tutted the girl for her impatience and began pacing around what Bella thought might be the outer edges of the cavern. "Is that any way to speak to—"
"I don't give a shit who you are," Bella snarled and fought the urge to shift back, to shred the vampire with her claws. "First, you steal my mother's journals, then you violate my private moments and taunt me with them when I finally agree to meet with you, and then you have to gall to kidnap me and my dad?" She was shrieking by the time she finished, and the echoing cave magnified the wrathful sound in a way that pleased the animal inside of her.
"You don't understand—"
"I don't owe you understanding; I owe you nothing!"
The Dragon remained silent for so long, that if Bella believed it possible for her to leave, she would have assumed she was alone with Charlie.
"Look, I— I can see that I made mistakes in how I approached you—"
"You're damn right you did! You say I need help and protection, but you're the only one endangering me at the moment."
"At the moment," the Dragon repeated as though it were the solution to a problem. "I have only ever tried to protect you."
"That's such bullshit," Bella snapped. Her indignancy fueled her rage and spurred her to continue. "You tried telling me I was in danger from my mate. As if he could possibly harm me! Ever!"
"It isn't your mate you're in danger from."
"Then who? Tell me!"
"The youngest," the Dragon answered her quietly.
Bella threw her head back and laughed darkly. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't know the Volturi is coming for me?"
"Hmm, but I still don't understand why—"
"You're right, you don't understand! You think it's enough to go off snippets of my life that you read in some books, and got it into your head that I need you to protect me. I don't need you— why do you think you're responsible for me? Why did you steal her journals? Why do you think I need you? What are you here?"
"Because there's no one else that's like you; like me."
"I'm nothing like you!"
"You may be more naturally evolved, but you are every bit like me, and so much more. I'm here because I want to be. I'm here because she cared about you, because she loved you."
Bella felt something snap inside of her, and she was shifting. And the Dragon was right. She was so much more.
She was shifting into a mountain lion, but where she replicated the animal's form perfectly before, Bella didn't stop transforming. She didn't stop until her head hit the cavern ceiling, until she was roughly the size of a small one-story house.
"Like I said, so much more." When she was met with Bella's silence, she continued. "Now that you've stretched your shield, you can be anything you want to be. So, why stop there? Come with me and be, Iz."
Bella's brain was spinning— the information was too much, because the implication was…
"Be just like me."
