II

How do I get through a night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be

Oh, I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul and if you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you if you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live

"How Do I Live", LeAnn Rimes

Despite Jo's silence about her sexuality, there had always been rumors and speculation at Eastland about the tough girl's proclivities. At institutions like Eastland and Langley, filled with many snobbish debutantes, who would no doubt receive fortunes when they got older, and marry into even more money someday, someone so different from them-like Jo Polniaczek, was cannon fodder for such talk. It also supplied delicious gossip for the young men who went to Bates, then Langley. They, too, were often ruthless in trying to stamp out anyone that didn't fit their idea of society.

Jo did her best to ignore it. She had grown used, even comfortable, with the sparring between she and Blair over the years. Jo and Blair had come to care deeply for each other, and, despite their sometimes acrimonious verbal spats, they would not tolerate anyone outside of their friendship to demean the other. The "barbarian", and the "princess", made for an interesting friendship.

One could always count on Boots St. Clair, or Dina Becker, or any number of young women, to make condescending, cruel remarks about Jo. Most had learned not to utter such barbs in the vicinity of Blair Warner. They did so among themselves, and among the young men they hung out with, like Brock Worthington and other CEO's in waiting. They all felt they could berate and humiliate someone like Jo, who didn't fit in with their idea of what a person should be.

They arrived at Mancuso's, noting how packed the restaurant was, with a mixture of students from Langley as well as with residents from Peekskill. The two girls smiled at each other as they took in the scene.

"I think we might have hit the jackpot, blondie", Jo said, taking in the smells of Italian cooking.

"I think you're right, Joey", Blair said, herself practically drooling over the aromas.

"Down, girl", Jo said playfully, seeing Blair's eyes closed and breathing in the scents.

Blair slapped her lightly on the shoulder. "You're so uncouth, Polniaczek." She winked at her friend.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess", Jo responded, with a wink of her own. They both laughed as they were led to a table.

Since the restaurant was only a stone's throw from their shared apartment, and they had walked, both felt at liberty to order a bottle of wine and split it, as they started with an appetizer of calamari and warm bread sticks. They had ordered a pepperoni, mushroom, and green pepper pizza, the sight of it when it arrived making them look wide-eyed at each other.

Their animated conversation while they munched down on the pizza was comfortable and easy between them. They knew each other so well, almost able to tell what the other was thinking even before words were spoken. They simply tuned out the noise around them, enjoying each other's company.

"Professor Popovich reminded me that we still have two weeks to finish that assignment we're doing together for Economics. I thought it was due next week." Jo took another satisfying bite of her pizza.

"I thought it was next week, too?" Blair looked a little flustered at that. "Did we write down the wrong date, Jo?"

"Nah, I don't think so. I think we just got busy with everything else, that the date just slipped our minds."

"Speaking of dates...you two are a sight."

The two girls froze, hearing the familiar, infuriating voice of one of their biggest antagonists.

Blair looked up first, meeting the eyes of her one-time friend. "Dina, what do you want?"

Dina simply snickered at Blair's question. "I'm still wondering why you hang out with this lowlife dyke, Warner? Not the best look for Daddy's Little girl, is it?"

Dina Becker was the second child of James and Priscilla Becker, owner of Becker Industries, one of the fiercest an bitter rivals of the Warner's. Dina and Blair had started at Eastland together, and before they had an idea of how the business world worked, they had been friends at a young age. As they grew into their teenage years, the family rivalry turned Dina against Blair, who had never wanted to allow family business to cut into their friendship.

Yet Dina was as conniving and as ruthless as her old man was. James Becker had been brought up on insider trading charges years ago. As was usually the case, however, his money and a phalanx of high-paid lawyers had gotten him off the hook, even though it was well-known within the business world that he was guilty as hell of the charges.

Blair knew her own father, David, had some of that shark in him as well-you had to have a streak of ruthlessness to climb into the business empires of the world, but David Warner had always done his level best to stay as ethical as humanly possible. Blair was aware he did so imperfectly, but he wasn't a man willing to sell out everything he believed in for a few extra dollars. It was one reason why David had divorced Blair's mother, Monica. Monica had few morals herself, especially when it came to living a fast and loose life. Blair loved her mother, but was trying to follow the better example of her father.

Beyond all that, if there was one person Dina Becker hated more than Blair Warner, it was Jo Polniaczek.

"Not a good look to have a daddy that's a thief, eh Dina?"

Blair didn't turn her eyes from Dina as Jo taunted her with that reply. It had obviously brought Dina up short.

"Fuck you, you carpet muncher", Dina spat back.

Jo started to rise in her own defense.

"Jo", Blair commanded, quickly looking at her friend, "don't stoop to her level."

Jo stayed standing for a few moments, looking at the other woman standing across from her, then resuming her seat across from Blair. "You're right, Blair, she isn't worth the trouble."

"Who isn't worth the trouble?"

As if on cue, Brock Worthington was standing next to Dina. His family and the Becker's were political and business allies. Brock had tried to get his meat hooks into Blair a few years earlier, Jo making sure he payed a painful price for overstepping his boundaries.

"Can you believe it, Brock?" Dina looked over at her boyfriend. "The little Brooklyn gang member saying I'm not worth trouble?"

"She's worth a helluva more than your sorry ass, Polniaczek. I should thank you however", the tall, muscular young man said offhandedly. "If it weren't for you, I would have wasted some of my best...assets...as it were, on your precious 'Princess', as you so disgustingly refer to her."

"Glad the broken nose was worth it to ya, Brock", Jo snapped back, not missing a beat. "Still didn't knock any sense into ya."

Brock took a brief, menacing step toward Jo, this time Dina stopping him. Dina had only wanted to humiliate the other two women, not get in a possible boxing match with Jo. Despite her snide remarks, she knew how Jo had beaten the stuffing out of Brock, who was almost twice Jo's size.

"Isn't worth it, Brock", Dina said, shaking her head. "We've got better things to do with our time."

Brock took one more step toward Jo, leaning over her menacingly. "Just remember, dyke, you get out of this school, I'll be hounding you and making sure you get nowhere in life." He gave her a predatory smile as he stood up.

"Leave while you can, Little Lord Fauntleroy, or I'll bust your nose again." Jo's eyes bored in on the man, getting the satisfaction of seeing him momentarily flinch before turning away.

Other tables had been watching the spectacle, a few still taking disapproving looks at Jo and Blair, even though they had done nothing.

"I'm sorry about that, Jo", Blair said softly. "You shouldn't have to put up with that. I mean, hell, you almost got married to Eddie. Why do people keep making fun of you?"

"Ah, it's OK, Princess", Jo says dismissively. "Heard it before, and I'll hear it again. When you grow up on the streets like I did, girls can get that rep, even though in reality, if you are like that in Brooklyn, it's a fast way to get the shit beat out of you."

Blair looked horrified. "Really?"

"Yeah, really", Jo said, still nibbling on pizza, as if they were discussing the weather. "Gays and lesbians don't fare well in the old neighborhood."

"That's terrible", Blair said, suddenly losing her appetite. "I mean, I may not understand the proclivity, mind you, but no one should be threatened or harmed because of who or how they love."

"Speaking to the choir, Warner", Jo replied with a nod. "Like I said, it's no big deal. Let's finish up and get back home. We still have some homework to do tonight."

Blair nodded, but didn't say anything else.

For her part, Jo continued to shrug it off, years of practice of hiding who she was and what she was thinking as easy as breathing. Yet deep down, she was wondering how long she could keep up this facade.

The Following Friday

Jo had decided to go home to The Bronx that weekend to visit her parents. Rose and Charlie Polniaczek were divorced, but they were more than amicable with each other. It was one of those "we're better off being friends than being married" relationships. Both were devout Catholics, as was Jo, but there was a reason Jo hardly went home to visit them on weekends, going back all those years with her close friendship with a girl named Gloria.

Rose Polniaczek had truly wanted Jo to get away from The Bronx and get a good education so that she wouldn't end up like she and her ex-husband. Rose could always see that Jo was exceptionally intelligent and curious, but if Jo didn't get outside the influence of her neighborhood, and her past association with the Diablos, Jo would end up like her parents, or even worse.

There was another reason why Rose and Charlie had decided to send Jo to Eastland after she nearly aced the entrance exam. It was a reason that Jo didn't know for sure, but had always suspected. Adjacent to the Eastland School for Girls, was the Bates Academy for Boys, another upscale, very exclusive boarding school. Rose was certain that Jo could find "Mr. Right" there-a dashing young man of at least some means, who would sweep Jo off her feet, and they would live happily ever after. Rose had always assumed Jo's crush on girls was just a phase, or a fad, and felt it could be "educated" out of her daughter.

Indeed, every time Jo did go home, her mom would ask her about the latest boys she had met from Bates. It irked Rose that Jo had almost exclusively talked about Blair, Natalie, and Tootie, while at Eastland, and virtually about nothing but Blair now that she was at Langley. Jo simply tried to avoid the subject.

Jo had a feeling that,this coming weekend, she would need to face it, and tell her parents once and for all that she wasn't interested in guys. It was not how she was wired.

She dreaded the consequences of such a discussion, but knew it had to be done.