A/N: Last chapter. Thank you so much for sticking with this until the end. I'll ramble more at the bottom.
Enjoy, one last time!
Chapter 33
At nine o'clock sharp Meredith receives the notice from the FDA that their trial is shut down.
What a way to start their morning.
Except, it doesn't come into effect until midnight of the same day, and Beth Monroe is technically still within the walls of this hospital.
She debates long and hard about this, about loopholes and selfishness. Beth's parents are categorically against her going under, but since Beth is already eighteen, there's nothing they can do when she signs the consent forms with her shaky signature.
Ellis Grey is also definitely not on board with this surgery, but Meredith is ready to bear the consequences. She feels like she figured out what they were missing, and she's ready to go in.
Derek at least supports her. They brainstormed ideas when he brought her coffee from home, and it felt right. The domesticity of the travel mug, the warmth of the coffee down her throat, and Derek's gentle smile, all contribute to convincing her that they can save Beth.
Beth told Jeremy she was not finished, loving him or living, and Meredith knows they can help her survive this.
They are barely talking as she scrubs in with Derek. He asks her random things about a covered deck and a swingset in the backyard for David on the land. Meredith tries to focus on the memory calming trees and the quiet of the birds to relax her neurons, keep them ready to fire up and perform at their best as they operate on Beth.
The procedure is so similar, but this time there's no need for her to guide Derek. They operate as one as they push the virus inside Beth's brain.
The small victory is that Beth makes it out of the OR.
When Meredith lifts her eyes to the gallery at the applause of the entire OR staff, she's met with Ellis Grey's disapproving gaze. Yet, she has no regrets.
She camps out in Beth's room, taking care of the paperwork, writing the procedures, their findings, putting them on paper to justify their choices to a now-riotous FDA.
Meredith is not surprised to see Derek show up around seven o'clock, bringing her dinner, sharing the meal with her in silence, as they study Beth's vitals.
"You should go home. Stay with David," she says, regret seeping into her tone. He has neglected his son for Beth, their trial baby, and that's unacceptable. She does this to him, pulls him into her madness when he has responsibilities, commitments.
"I know. I would like to stay, though."
"He needs his daddy," she tells him, and he smiles.
"He misses you, too."
Meredith nods. She hasn't seen the boy in a couple of days, and she feels like the worst person ever.
"When Beth…" She swallows. They don't know if Beth will wake up. "When the situation changes, I'll come home."
Derek's smile brightens at her words. Home.
Meredith debates when that came to be. Yet, she's happy to have a home, a good home, with people that love her, and that she's not afraid to admit she loves back. She's not sure what will happen next, but for now she's glad she has a home with the Shepherd boys.
Derek says goodbye with the softest kiss on her temple and the firmest squeeze of her shoulder, leaving her warm and optimistic.
Hours tick by in silence, only broken by the usual hum of the hospital, sounds that make up the soundtrack of most of Meredith's life. The steady beeping of Beth's heart monitor tonight is the best song Meredith could hear.
Midnight comes and goes, and Beth is still alive. Unconscious, but alive.
Meredith dozes off until five in the morning when she wakes up with a stiff back and pinpricks in her legs. She sends Beth for some scans, wondering if her situation has changed overnight since her vitals are still stable.
So far, she is the patient who has survived the longest, and anticipation makes Meredith jittery.
Her eyes widen as she sees Beth's eyes flutter open, only an hour or so after she's brought back from her scans. Seeing the twinkle reflected there has Meredith almost in tears.
"It's so good to see you, Beth," she tells the young woman, grinning like a fool.
Beth returns her joy with a weak smile, making Meredith gasp when she reaches out and squeezes her hand, using the arm that had long been rendered useless by the tumor.
Just then, Derek bursts into the room, holding out scans, blurting: "The tumor is shrinking! The virus is working!"
Beth's answer is a tentative wave with her previously-still fingers, all moving correctly.
Derek drops the scans, folding his hands in front of his face, almost in prayer, as tears start leaking out of his eyes, too.
He goes on the other side of Beth's bed, squeezing her hand, too choked up to say anything. Meredith feels a similar lump in her throat and just stares at Beth in awe.
"Oh, just kiss already."
Meredith laughs then, unable to help herself. Beth rolls her eyes at them, basically pushing them together.
It's Derek who stands up and goes on the other side of the bed, gathering Meredith in his arms. She buries herself into his hug, her nose on his clavicle as he completely cocoons her. He smells fresh, like laundry and his spicy soap and a little bit like David. He smells like home, and she tightens her hands on the back of his scrubs, holding onto him tightly.
"We made it," she whispers into his neck, and he nods, giving her the smallest squeeze. She can feel his tears of joy on her skin, and she curls her fingers tighter into him.
"We did it. You did it, Mer."
A throat clearing has them spring apart, and they both see Ellis glaring at them from the threshold of Beth's room.
"The FDA heard of your little stunt, Dr. Grey," she says, her tone cold, before the tiniest of smiles makes way onto her poker face. "Glad it paid off."
Ellis wants a report of the surgery on her desk by noon, but then gives both of them the rest of the day off. They are reluctant to leave Beth, but it's the patient herself who kicks them out.
Meredith feels so light as they both walk hand in hand toward David's school, ready to pick him up, together.
David is an extra ray of sunshine as soon as they spot him. And Meredith is even more surprised when he runs to her, almost ready to hug her.
He stops right before her though, his shoes almost squeaking on the wet pavement outside of his school. It would be comical if he weren't so excited.
"Meri, you're here!" David beams, grinning, swinging on the balls of his feet, his backpack unbalancing him even further. Derek is quick to relieve him of the burden of his school supplies before he actually falls over.
"I'm so glad to see you, David." She grins back, her body relaxing immediately in the presence of the little boy.
"It's been forever! Is your patient okay, now?"
"Yes. Daddy and I fixed her." She's bursting with happiness at the mere memory of Beth and her smile, her moving fingers, the arm she can lift.
"We should have ice cream!"
Derek laughs, shaking his head in amusement. "I already have a plan for this afternoon."
Meredith frowns, just like David. Except David gets to hear the plan, as Derek leans over and whispers things into his ear. David's eyes widen, clearly telling her it's a great plan. She decides that today, she's happy to go along with any plan they deem worthy of such excitement.
David skips beside them as they walk home, excitedly talking about all the new things he has learned today in school. She's always fascinated by how something so mundane as learning how to write the number five is such an exciting subject for David. She loves the enthusiasm and the childlike wonder, they help her keep things in perspective.
They don't stay home long, though, just the time to drop off David's backpack and grab some supplies Derek is guarding carefully, then he's leading them to his car and buckling in David, who is still bouncing with excitement.
"You look pretty today, Meri," David says, which makes Meredith burst into giggles, before she asks herself why he's buttering her up so much, and for what, exactly.
"Thank you, David. You look handsome, too." He beams right back at her.
David keeps entertaining them with stories as they drive north, and it doesn't take long for Meredith to figure out where they are going. As they exit the highway onto a familiar dirt road, he realizes that they're headed to Derek's trailer.
She loves the idea of being there, in the quiet, to really let it sink in that they saved Beth. That they created a method to save dozens of lives in the long run. The new Grey Method.
Maybe she'll call it the Grey-Shepherd Method, though. Or even better, figure out a way to honor Beth and Jeremy with the name of the surgery that ended up saving Beth's life. Maybe she can ask Derek for ideas.
When she looks at him, he seems slightly nervous though. It's little things, not really much, but she can see the way he's driving carefully, or how he taps the steering wheel at each slowdown or stop. His tells are not obvious, so she's not overly worried, though she feels more curious than anything, if she's honest. Especially since both Shepherd boys seem to be bouncing with excitement as soon as they reach Derek's piece of land in the woods.
"Do you like it here, Meri?" David asks, grinning widely, hopping out of the car in a flourish.
"I love it here," she replies, winning an even bigger smile.
"Daddy?" David asks, almost asking for permission. Derek shakes his head as he appears from behind the trunk, carrying a cardboard tube and a cooler.
She frowns. Are they having a picnic here?
Derek takes a deep breath as they come to stand on the porch, though he makes no move to unlock the trailer.
"I know this is a bit rushed, but...here!"
He thrusts the cardboard tube in her hands, retreating beside David, who is sitting in one of the deck chairs now, looking at her with wide eyes.
She opens one side of the tube, seeing papers inside. She flips it around on the table, gasping when she realizes there are blueprints falling out. For a house.
"Derek?" she squeaks, looking up to study Derek's carefully contained excitement.
"I had them drawn ages ago. Anything you don't like, you can change." He runs a hand through his hair then, huffing out a breath. "Or not. You don't have to like the house. Or move in there at all. Just…"
She studies the plans, the rooms, the dreams put on paper. It's incredible how much she can see into a haphazard bunch of lines thrown together. It's beautiful, really. So many things she loves in a house are there, and she can see herself living in a place like this. Especially if this house also inhabits Derek and David.
When she turns to them, Derek is standing beside David, both of them smiling, though Derek's joy is more tentative, hesitant. She gulps when she sees he's holding a ring, her ring.
It's not flashy, but it looks like something she could wear all day, even as a surgeon.
He knows her. Derek knows her so well, and the ring is testimony of how lucky she is to have met him.
"Meredith, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me. Us." He swallows thickly, his eyes shimmering, and she feels like crying too.
"And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you two," she echoes, her voice cracking, before she launches herself into his arms and hugs him fiercely.
Her lips soon find his, mindful of David, but unable not to sneak in some tongue as they get lost into one another. The kiss is long and passionate, hands in their hair and holding necks and clutching jackets.
When they pull away, David has his eyes covered by his hands, and they both start laughing.
"It's safe to look, buddy," she says, grinning when he peeks before removing his hands completely.
"Are you and Daddy getting married for real?" he asks, and she nods, biting her lip, feeling warmth bloom in her chest at the novelty of marrying Derek Shepherd.
"Go on, ask," Derek whispers, and she sees David bite his lip in a gesture that mimics hers. When did that happen?
"Meri?" David begins, his serious face on, and she knows he needs her undivided attention. She crouches in front of him, staring deep into his eyes, so similar to Derek's yet so David.
"What is it, David?"
"Can I call you Mommy?" he asks, and for a second she cannot breathe.
Her eyes fill with tears at the idea of another David calling her Mommy, of her own David who never had the chance. But the tears are there for all the immense possibilities in front of her, of family, and love, and belonging.
"You do mommy things with me, Meri. And I love you."
She can't help the tears slipping out then. "Of course you can call me Mommy," she croaks, her voice barely above a whisper as she replies. "I would be honored. and I love you, too."
David finally relaxes and smiles, then he unexpectedly runs into her arms, clutching her fiercely.
She's openly crying then as she wraps David's body into a burrito hug, holding onto him for dear life, vowing to love this motherless boy as if he were her own. They filled each other -less, and made it more. He brought smiles and lightness and laughter, love where she didn't know she needed it. Being the best mommy for him is the best way for paying him back.
"I'm so happy you're my Mommy now," he whispers into her neck, and she squeezes him even more tightly.
When she looks up, Derek is crying too, silent happy tears.
When she pulls away, Derek slips the ring onto her finger and she studies it, knowing this is where she'll always have it from now on, feeling so relieved, so grateful, so happy.
Derek opens the trailer and the cooler, pulling out ice cream, and they celebrate on the deck, as they study the house plans.
David is curious to discover all the features, how blueprints work, and Derek patiently explains each feature to him, and his vision to her. David even tries his hand at reading some of the room names, proud when he gets them right.
"Daddy, how come you and Mommy will have the biggest room?" David asks, and she's taken aback by how the novelty of her name still surprises her.
"Because we are the biggest people in the house. We need lots of room."
"But I need room for my toys!"
"That's what the family room is for," Derek replies, his finger pointing to a square on the blueprint.
"Are we a family, now?" David asks, dripping innocence, filling her heart with love.
"Yes," Meredith says, cutting in. "Yes, we are."
David nods, then seems to be thinking deeply. "Does that mean that all the other bedrooms are for Nana and my cousins?"
"The plans say 'bedroom', but we don't need to use all of them as bedrooms," Derek says, looking at her. "We might need a guest room, but we'll see what to do about the other rooms."
"We're not filling five bedrooms with kids." She hisses to Derek, who has the decency to blush.
"Four? One kid is already here," he says, and she laughs at him.
"How about maybe one? Then we'll see?"
"Really?" Derek is beaming at her, his face soft, looking so much younger than his actual age.
"I'm not saying now, Derek. Wedding first. But...maybe. Maybe you can convince me."
Derek smirks. "Oh, I have a few tricks to convince you."
She smacks his forearm, but they keep laughing, and today even having another baby doesn't seem as scary. Not when she has Derek by her side, calming her down, conquering her fears. She might not be ready tomorrow, but she vows to work on herself and get ready, since part of her is curious to know what their baby will look like, sound like, feel like in her arms. She'll hate the pregnancy, but she knows she will love the baby, so maybe that's the compromise.
Maybe she will learn how to properly hold a baby who is alive, appreciate the crying fits and the colics, the sleepless nights, the aching body, because she can see the good of it right in front of her, when she looks at David and sees him smile.
"Let's think of one of those rooms as a nursery, okay?"
Derek's smile is worth all her hesitation.
They will make it. They will be okay.
Maybe she found her happily ever after, or better, it found her, after stitches in an ER and burrito hugs.
A/N: This is it.
It feels like a deep breath after being underwater. There's relief and disappointment here: relief I can breathe again, disappointment I can't see the pretty awesome fish underwater. Except I can't really swim, so this metaphor doesn't really apply to me.
I loved writing David. He challenged me, he pushed me, he forced me to rethink scenes and adapt them. And the trial storyline is probably one of my favorites, and I'm so happy I could sneak it in here, in this story. I always loved Beth, and I'm glad she fulfilled her purpose here, too.
There are no candles here, just a ring, and a little family sitting around a table, planning their future. I thought about an epilogue, a wedding, maybe more. You know how much I love Zola, and in my head, she finds her way to slip into the cracks of this family, too. And maybe they do fill all four bedrooms, and Meredith loves every single second of chaos that brings. But as I told you before, the joy for writing in this universe is not there anymore, and it breaks my heart. It's like diverging paths with your childhood best friend.
Grey's will still be my very first fanfic love, and you can't forget it. But I might be branching out, explore other universes. I never dipped my toes in Fringe, but it's still a love affair, and most likely my next endeavor will be Castle fanfic (I've been working on something for a few months now) or maybe nothing, maybe original fiction, I have no idea. I just know that this fandom helped me grow as a writer, and I found good people here so I'll be forever grateful.
Thank you for your reviews, the outpouring of love, the criticism, and the squeals of excitement. I've been a terrible writer as of late, but I hope giving this story an ending might make up for it.
See you soon, and thank you for being here and sharing this journey with me. Every time I look at the number of people who are reading these words I'm humbled and amazed, and that will never change.
Happy 2021, readers! From the bottom of my heart, you guys are amazing. Keep being awesome, and I hope 2021 comes around as the much-needed breath of fresh air. I consider myself lucky that I'm still healthy and with all of my family alive. Thank God for public healthcare in Italy!
