CHAPTER 4
He was sitting on the ratty cot several hours after dealing with Voldemort when his tiny body reminded him that he was hungry. It had been so long since that had happened that for a long minute he simply stared at his stomach as it made loud gurgling noises. 'Right, mortal,' he thought. He removed the muggle notice-me-not he had placed on the room when he returned and stretched as much as he could in the small space.
'If they make a fuss, well then, a little bit of carbon monoxide never hurt anybody,' Harry noted to himself. No one could blame him. Locking a child in a closet, what a bunch of wankers. He picked up Chuck the spider off his head, placed him on the wall, and stepped out of the cupboard.
In the kitchen he found his Aunt and Dudley having lunch. They turned towards him when he opened the kitchen door and stared for about five seconds before blinking then returned to their meal. Ignoring them Harry made his way to the large refrigerator and opened it. He peered at his options and picked out a carton of orange juice, a jar of Branston's pickle and a block of extra sharp cheddar. With his tiny arms full he had to kick the door closed. After dumping the contents unto the floor, he promptly sat on the lino to eat.
"What are you doing?" interrupted Petunia.
Harry looked up at her. He had been trying to whittle the block of cheese with his hands into sticks so he could scoop out the pickle. "Oh, umm, lunch?" he responded unsurely as he looked at his cheese covered hands. He could remember random lyrics but not how to make lunch, the brain was really weird.
"Wash up. I'll make you a cheese and pickle sandwich." She got up from her chair, crossed the room, picked up the items and shooed him towards the sink.
Harry washed his hands and then sat at the breakfast table very confused. He definitely remembered her being a total bitch the first time around. And it wasn't really his fault he was utterly useless without magic after thousands of years of not doing things the muggle way. He watched as Petunia grabbed bread slices, smeared them with pickle using a knife. Right, utensils. He'd forgotten where those were kept. Then she topped it with freshly grated cheese.
He stared gob-smacked as she came over, smiling, and placed a glass of orange juice and a plate with the sandwich in front of him on the table. She sat down, grabbed one of Dudley's packets of Monster Munch, the kid had several by him, opened it, and tipped the content onto his plate.
"There you go, Harry. Next time, ask for help, okay." He nodded numbly and ate his food. He was glad for instincts because he wasn't sure he could remember on his own what to do with food anymore.
After lunch he and Dudley were plopped in front of the television to watch The Magic Roundabout. Harry was thinking that instead of the past, he was sent into a universe where things didn't make sense. Crazytown, population everyone.
Lunch had been his first time interacting with his relatives since his arrival at three o'clock in the morning and he wasn't expecting this at all. The last time they barely fed him and magic was called the M-word like it was profanity being bleeped out live action. But here he was, nibbling on a Time Out bar, watching Dougal praunce about the garden. The show was awful but Dudley seemed to love it so he stayed with the boy. After the program, Aunt Petunia put them down for a nap.
"Harry, you can stay with Dudley while I tidy up your room." He didn't know how to react so he nodded and gave her what he hoped was a happy smile instead of a grimace because he was so confused. She left the room after tucking them in and kissing them both on the forehead. He laid there staring at the blue ceiling.
That was it. He was being moved into Dudley's second room. No threats required. Which was a bummer. It was going to involve a pineapple, a paper hat, and some C4. He couldn't make up his mind about the meerkat which had caused the delay in putting the plan to action. But none of that was needed.
Once he heard Dudley's breathing even out he traced his ear casting a spell to keep him from listening in. Then silenced the room because of Petunia.
"Death?" He felt the end of the bed dip.
"Sir."
"Am I hallucinating this?" he gestured to the room.
"Of course not."
"Huh."
"Is there a problem?"
Harry gives a pointed look at Dudley before answering. "Not so much a problem, but what the hell is going on? In my original timeline they were horrible to me. I'm being cuddled for goodness sake!"
"Oh, I thought it was obvious."
"I'm going to need you to walk me through this one."
"The horcrux is gone and with it its influence on those around you."
"Wait, what?"
"The…."
"I heard you." He huffed. "You mean, that my crappy childhood was because of Noseless' hitchhiking sliver?"
"Yes. They are very malignant and affect muggles exponentially more than magical beings. Think about it. The Dursleys longed for normality, what's normal about the way they treated you?"
"What about once I started Hogwarts? People didn't treat me like crap then?"
"We seem to be recalling things differently."
"What was horrible about my time in there?"
"All of it."
"I had friends. I had fun. School was great."
"Two friends, who you argued with constantly. You played Quidditch which was fun, I'll give you that. But you were in danger every single year. No adult helped you. And Snape muttering a counter curse on your broom barely counts, he was a teacher, he should have tried to not let you die. Plus he was under a vow. McGonagall never listened. Dumbledore was blind. The students were antagonistic towards you at best. The public fickle even though you were their savior."
"That's cold, D. Like Beyoncé and the first Destiny's Child cold."
"Do I need to pull up your memories?"
"No. Geesh. Perspective sucks. I guess that makes sense, though. When we took turns wearing the locket it was horrible. I guess consistent contact to one would be similar."
"Yes, and your relatives had the longest exposure to the one in you, as did those in the neighborhood."
"But I'm not hanging off anyone's neck."
"True, but while it didn't take over your mind, like with Ginny and the Diary, it still reached out to others. Your magic did a great job keeping it from possessing you so instead it tried to latch onto others, unsuccessfully, causing the side effect. You bled an aura of hatred."
"So, everyone's going to be nice now?"
"Nicer. People are still horrible. Now they'll give you a chance instead of writing you off from the get go."
"Petunia and Dudley's reaction seems rather quick. Four years of hatred gone suddenly."
"Your mastery of death sped up the process. It would have otherwise taken months for the effects to dissipate naturally."
"Cool beans. I'll take it."
"Will that be all?"
"Yes, thanks for answering my questions."
"Enjoy your nap, sir."
Harry saw her disappear then undid the spells before rolling over and falling asleep.
Harry was enjoying having a childhood for once. Though, he knew there was no way he could act like a normal five year old so he gave that up without even trying. He mostly ignored everyone unless absolutely necessary. Or when playing with Dudley, because there was no way in Hades was he going to let the poor kid turn out as horrible as the last time. Manners and exercise are good for the soul after all.
It was a very boring month before school started and he knew actually going to school wasn't going to fix that. Also, he didn't want to go through it all if he could help it. As such he had a very simple plan. On the first day, while the rest of the class drew a picture of their family, Harry, already having produced the correct amount of stick figures on the provided sheet, sat quietly reading the newspaper that he had borrowed from his Uncle.
The reception teacher stopped short at his desk when she noted that instead of coloring, Harry was intently looking at the oversized Financial Times. He was tracing the large page vertically as he read about the joint French-American expedition that located the wreck of the Titanic. That of course led to questions, and more questions, and even more questions.
It was a bit entertaining watching the adults tripping over themselves complimenting him. How brilliant he was, how clever, how advanced. They rushed to accommodate his needs, mostly trying to get prestige for their little school, in their little town, in their little corner of the country. Trying to make themselves a part of history. As if his talents had anything to do with them. But Harry let them, because what else was there to do but wait until June of 1991 when he would finally get his Hogwarts letter.
At the same time it felt nice, the routine of it all. He was finally a part of the community. He waved to the neighbors, and they waved back. He tutored the twins from Number 12 in Spanish, he and Dudley played at the local footy club on Saturdays, he even walked Mrs Figg's cats and learned that cats liked going for walks, who knew.
Moving quickly through the primary school's curriculum was still boring of course but he smiled and did his work proficiently and expeditiously. After all, it was nothing compared to managing a primordial collection of beings for eons.
Things got a little bit more interesting once Harry reached Secondary School. It was hilarious to watch pubescent children glare in jealousy when they noticed him, a wee boy in their mist. He originally wanted to take his time through high school, maybe condensing five years into two but he just could not take it so he decided he would pull a Matilda and bulldozer his way through it all. In his first life his muggle education was sub par but that wasn't his fault. Wizards were idiots for thinking that only magic mattered in a world where ninety percent of the population didn't have any and he suffered because of it. He knew better now of course.
Best of all, the Dursleys no longer treated him like scum. He got attention, food, toys, trips to hamburger bars, outings to the beach in the summer, and most bizarre of all, love. He was hugged, he was warmly smiled at, his pictures and accolades were hung up in the living room. Uncle Vernon actually ruffled his hair after he passed his GCSE's at the age of six. Harry didn't take out his previous resentment on them. He didn't want to carry a grudge when given the chance to overcome his past. In fact, as a personal rule, he was never cruel if he could help it.
AN: The Destiny's Child comment is straight from the show Psych, season 4 episode 7 called "High Top Fade Out."
