LOL I guess the why they aren't speaking comes from having experienced people who wouldn't tell me important things and months later, I would found out from someone else what that was or why they were mad at me xD #ThankYouCatholicSchoolForYearsOfTraumas xD
Enjoy!
M.
Chapter 82
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wanting to take the first step and actually taking it were two very different things. Sam came to learn that as the days flew by. The logistics of leaving a skeleton crew of volunteers for the holidays was way more complex than she had realized. Especially since most people didn't want to volunteer at all for those dates.
Adding to finding the personnel she needed, there was that thing she'd volunteered to do. So, she'd been dealing with getting people in and out of sites. The last ones coming from Alpha were just leaving the base as she walked to the mess hall to get some dinner.
She was a bit surprised to find SG-1 and Jack there. They waved at her to join them. She did as soon as she picked out some food. Sam risked a glance towards Jack as she sat in front of him.
She had wanted to speak with him since she came to work the day after Parker's birthday. So far, she hadn't managed to find time to do it, and his schedule didn't look a lot better. Besides, whenever they seemed to be in the same place, there were also a bunch of people around.
There was no way she could just let go and say… 'Hey, you know what? I think we should talk and give our marriage a chance. Or if you want to, we can become fuck buddies? You know… Until we resolve the issue you have with our daughter? Or maybe even if you don't? It won't be optimal, but I can make it work…' She closed her eyes and shook her head. Jack raised an eyebrow in question. She just looked at him, and he let it go.
"So, we all know what Jack will do during his holidays…" Daniel started.
"Do you even go fishing in winter?" Janet asked, turning to face Jack. "I mean, I know you always wanted us to join you to go fishing and managed once… but…" Jack shook his head half-amused by Janet's questioning. Sam looked at him with a slight frown. Could it be that after all this time, he hadn't disclosed his extensive family to them?
"No fishing. I'll be sitting in front of a fireplace and drinking some eggnog or something like that… For all you guys know, I might even chop down a tree and put lights on it." He offered nonchalantly.
The people at the table laughed. Sam knew that wasn't a joke. His sisters had told her way back then. That Jack was the one in charge of cutting down a tree and bringing it to his parents' home. Once he arrived tree in tow. He would sit back and enjoy the chaos of their holidays, being the half-grinch he always was.
Her expression hadn't gone unnoticed by him. He glanced at her. Telling her that in fact, they had no clue about his Christmas activities. She wanted to ask how was that possible. She knew he had taken Daniel, Teal'c, and even Janet and Cassie for a weekend. Just before the Ori had appeared.
"What about you, Carter? What will you do for Christmas?" Jack asked to bring her out of her funk.
"The same things I've been doing all these years, without changing names in between, I guess." She shrugged dismissively.
"And what that be?" Daniel asked curiously. It was the first time he heard her mention the past eleven years.
"Nothing out of the ordinary, I guess. On Christmas eve, we'll get some dinner, go to sleep, and then Parker will wake me up to open her gifts. We'll have brunch. We'll both end up reading, most likely. We might go ice skating… Planning Christmas day is fully up to Parker. Christmas and her birthday were the only times she had something akin to a normal life."
They blanched. The way she had so casually said that was surprising. There was also a tremendous level of detachment in her words. As if she wasn't discussing her life but some weird movie she saw or a book she had read.
"You won't visit your brother?" Jack asked, frowning at the image she had painted for them
"I figured you'll be going to the cabin and we can't both go AWOL at the same time. Can we?" He squinted at her answer. Jack knew an excuse when he saw one. He really didn't want her missing out on her family for something as silly as him.
"Phone calls and planes exist, Carter. If you want to go, and I'm not here either… Those stands. Neither will be going to be completely unreachable." Jack pointed. Sam looked at him. "You should go, first holidays back and all…" he waved, noticing something was wrong, the moment he had left those words out. Sam shook her head no.
"Mark's kids will be home. They don't want me near them." She shrugged it off. In that tone that had them all looking at her in awe. She had stated that as if knowing that your family had rejected your visit during the holidays wasn't as bad as it sounded. "I'll visit them once the kids aren't there. It'll be less awkward for all the involved."
Janet was the first to get over the shock of the things Sam had said. "Sam… I still hold my lost souls' Christmas party, as you and Daniel named it." Janet smiled, welcomingly. "You and Parker should join us. It will be almost like old times…"
"Oh! And your birthday! We should do something for your birthday too." Daniel added. "Maybe a party, with the people who'll still be in the city."
"You mean with the ones that aren't scared shitless of me?" Sam pointed out knowingly. "That would be just you guys. I'm not sure if that's all of you." She said, stealing a glance towards Mitchell.
"Throw a party! If there's free booze I'm sure there would be way more people than you're thinking. Better yet, just leave it in my capable hands. Jack does it all the time…" Vala grinned. "Isn't that right?"
"If you fall for her eagerness. Just set a time you feel will work and then tell her it's an hour earlier. Everyone will show up on time but her."
"Hey, I'm not that bad. Besides, she got around the same time that I did on your birthday." Vala pointed. Thinking of his birthday and what it had happened on that day made Sam blush slightly.
"She has a kid and was hosting a party herself, so..." Jack had said. Sam breathed when she noticed Jack had thought she blushed for the late arrival. "Carter had a valid excuse, Vala." Jack pointed out. Sam felt something stir inside her. He was defending her… From something as stupid as being late. He was standing up for her, and that made her heart skip a beat.
"I'm not sure I should. You know, protocol and regulations…" Sam waved, trying to rein the emotions that were boiling inside.
"Starting from Hammond, all SGC COs did before you." Daniel pointed.
"So, if they jumped out of the mountain. I should too?" Sam counteracted.
"Don't let them get under your skin, Carter. Do it if you want to." Jack shrugged. She turned towards him.
"There's so much more needed to get under my skin than peer pressure nowadays." She mumbled.
Jack wasn't sure what she meant by that, but a look at her told him it had a lot to do with her past. Nothing to do with the subject at hand. "I'll think about it." She added, trying to break the mood she had set in the previously cheery table.
"You know, maybe it'll help people to get to know you. A party sounds like a good opportunity to introduce yourself as someone more approachable." Daniel commented.
"I'll think about it," Sam said again, this time a bit harsher. Her appetite was now lost. She lowered her cutlery on the tray and checked her watch. "I'll better get going, there's still lots to do before I can leave today." She stood up and walked away, taking her tray with her.
"Way to go, people…" Vala said, shaking her head. "I can't believe she was nice at some point."
"She was," Daniel and Janet said at the same time.
"She still is," Teal'c said. "It's just covered up under that detachment she shows. We should be patient with her. One day we might get to the parts of the Samantha Carter we knew before."
"Parts of her?" Daniel frowned.
"We all have changed and grown during the time apart. What makes you believe she hasn't?" Teal'c added, looking at Jack. He hummed, pushed his plate aside. When it wasn't as obvious that he was going to follow her, he also left.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Jack found her in her office. Her nose buried in some files as she checked things off her list. He sat across her, with his extended legs going under her desk for comfort. His knees cracked, and she looked up to find him observing her.
"I'm sorry." He said. 'So much for taking the first step,' she thought.
"Why? There's nothing you should be sorry about," Sam said. Though the pit of her stomach clenched as her mind provided her with a huge list of things that he could be sorry about. Maybe he was sorry he'd sex with her all those times since she returned? Maybe he was sorry things were so screwed up for them? Maybe… There were so many maybes... And her mind wasn't such a nice place for them.
"What you went through. I guess. I shouldn't have let you go back then."
"Well, things happened. They are way past done. We can't change them." She said. Lowering the folder and pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry I turned dinner a sour event. I know it was the last one before you go to the cabin. I didn't mean to…"
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have prodded." Jack shrugged. "I just wanted you to know I'm sorry. I wish things were different."
"Yeah… Me too." She said looking at him sadly. "Are you leaving soon?"
"Yes. I just came by to see if you were all right? Damn, that's a dumb question…" Sam chuckled. "Look, Carter… I…"
"You think we can be friends again?" She blurted out. Jack was shocked at first by this.
"I thought we already were." He said.
"We don't really… Talk."
"We never talked."
"There's that too," the tips of her lips curled slightly upwards at that. "Don't you think we should?"
"Do you want to?" Sam rubbed her face tiredly.
"How else are we going to move past this stalemate of sorts we have?" She wondered. Jack sat back in the chair.
"We should… Talk. I don't think this is the right place to do that."
"I agree. However, we both know your house isn't a better idea and mine…" she shook her head, amused. "Well, it probably would end up in the same way that yours does. Besides, it's already late and almost time for you to leave."
"You got my number, don't you?"
"Yes, of course…" Sam said, confused.
"Maybe we could do this better on the phone?" Jack offered. Sam chuckled and bit her lower lip to stop the laugh that was bubbling inside her.
"What?" He frowned.
"Nothing," she managed to say, but she was laughing and that was music to his ears.
"Come on! Now I gotta know."
"When I was out there. I had this idea of making a video call software. So, one day I would be able to call you and see you in real-time. I developed it, it's a market favorite… It never met what I intended it for." She said crooking her head.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Do you have a laptop?"
"Sadly… Yes." He grimaced.
"And I guess you still have an internet connection at the cabin?" She questioned, already knowing the answer. He nodded. "Is your laptop here?"
"Yup. Up in my office."
"If you can give me five. I can catch you at your office and show you how it works."
"So, you want us to… video call?"
"Well, unless you don't want to… It's an option."
"Carter… If it will fix this… thing… I'll take a video call or another ancient repository, for all I care." She smiled. A half-smile, but it was half a smile more than he had seen in a while. She went back to work, and he remained there observing her in silence.
Maybe, after all, they could work on a fix. Maybe if they worked on it enough. He could accept the kid too. Maybe Shannon was right. He might end up adopting Sam's daughter in the long run. He heard Sam typing. Then she closed everything she'd had opened and stood up.
"I'm ready. I need to make a stop at my quarters to grab my wallet." Jack nodded and followed her to the elevators. They walked out so she could get her things. Then back into the elevator to his floor. Once inside his office, she waited for him to unpack his personal laptop.
"This is a personal one, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I just asked one of the geeks below to check and see it was functional for my trip. Don't worry, I don't keep anything compromising in there." He got to see the tip of her lips curled upwards again. It did things to him.
"So, you say you keep them elsewhere?" She asked teasingly. It came so easy there for a second, they both forgot about all the time and distance between them.
"Well, there are rather hot videos my wife sent me a long while ago. I have to keep those safe, don't I?" He teased back. Her eyes darkened and so did his. She grabbed the computer and sat on one of the chairs. As he walked around putting his desk between their seemingly uncontrollable needs.
"You need to unlock it." She said turning it around. He typed something and turned it back to her. He heard her type some more and smiled as she concentrated so much on what she was doing that it seemed that she'd forgotten he was there too. It felt just like old times.
She hadn't forgotten. Sam could feel his eyes on her. It was making focusing on the task at hand a complex situation. When she'd finally installed what she needed. She turned the computer towards him once again. Taking a calming breath before walking around and standing beside him. To show him how it worked.
"It's still not what it can be. However, it works. Our studies say that by 2020 video conferencing will be spread all over the world. Being more used than regular calls."
"Sounds cool." He said. "I bet Cassie will be thrilled by that. That woman could spend years inside the computer while growing up. So, I'm all set then?"
"Yes." She checked her watch. "We both should go. Jessica will be more than happy to get home by now."
"Jessica?"
"Parker's nanny…" Sam stated. Jack took a deep breath. Sometimes it was so easy for him to forget things had changed in the eleven years since she was gone. They both walked towards the door, but she stopped right before it. "Jack." She said, searching his eyes. "Even if this video call thing doesn't pan out… Will you be there for my birthday if I go with the party?"
"I'm not sure, Carter."
"Right, I forgot you usually just go there and stay with your family during the whole holiday season. It was stupid of me to ask."
"Will you want me there?" He asked, searching her eyes in return. She nodded. "I can't promise you I'll be there, Carter. Not with our current track record."
"I understand." She said. Out of an impulse, she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Have a save trip, Jack, and say hi to your family for me."
