Hello friends. WE'RE STILL FRIENDS RIGTH? ...Right?
_

"Andy." She doesn't hear her name being called. Too far into her memories and worries to pay attention. "Andy... Earth to Andy..." Followed by a clap, loud enough to startle her and bring her back to reality.

"Yea?" Her hands run down her face and over her hair.

"Where are you right now?" She glances over to Victoria who sits across from her on the floor, she is helping her finish her hygiene and meal kits for people who are homeless.

"Sorry." She kept the answer simple, not wanting to over exaggerate her concerns. Victoria knows Andy well enough now that she can tell when she is not okay, but she also knows her well enough to know when she does not want to talk about things. The T.V is on... but she isn't paying that much attention to it.

"So... is this for your end of the year senior project or what... because it's kind of early to start that." She asks.

Forcefully pushing everything that does not consist of what is in front of her to the back of her mind, she engaged in the conversation Victoria was trying to have.

"No... it'-"

"Andy..." She interrupts her and she looks up at the bed. "Andy i-isn't that Captain Herrera's truck?"

She giggles before looking at the wall where the TV hung. "You're kidding right? Is that like a dead joke?" Analyzing the picture that displayed, her face turned into a frown as she walked closer... "Turn the volume up."

"...fatal car accident on Route 99 leaving two dead on arrival..." She tunes it out for just a second before coming back. "Son of world Renowned Surgeons, Calvin and Yamila Sullivan, Robert Sullivan is one of our victims tonight and with him traveling was our very own Captain Pruitt Herrera..."

"Andy."

She's already out of the door, running down the hallway with no thoughts at all. She opens the front door and is startled by the figure standing there. No shirt... his scars are seeping blood and she backs away quickly. Turning around she is met with her father...

"Mija." He has grass stains all over him... a hospital gown.

"Papi... y-you're back?" And she is frightened by him... she doesn't want to be afraid but she backs away and her back meets someone hard.

"Andrea." And its Robert again, but this time she cannot tell if it's real or not. He's patched up, he is no longer wounded.

"S-Sully?" She runs up and tries to wrap her arms around his body but stops when he is a red puddle on the ground. She screams so loud that Victoria comes down faster. Andy drops to her knees and her hands are coated with the blood of him.

"Andy." She asks and Andy looks back and Vic sees the puddle. "Oh." Then shrugs. "He's dead."

"No he's not." She cries. She can feel arm around her pulling her up and dragging her away... "He's not dead."

"Andy..."

"He's not fucking dead!"

"Andy."

"Stop!"

"Andy... wake up." Her eyes snap open, her heart pounds deeply in her chest, her body jolts upward, trying to catch onto the small breathes that she felt that she had been deprived of. She is sweaty and bothered and there are muffled talking that she can just barely hear.. When she comes to the realization that she is awake, she looks down at her hands and there is nothing covering them, but they are shaking... and Maya is to the side of her, tired.

"Andy this is every single night for the past three weeks." She passes her the bottle of water that is on her nightstand but Andy doesn't open it. Silent tears fall from her eyes for a couple of minute before Maya goes to close the bedroom door and turn off the light. Coming back over she pulls Andy in. "You haven't slept at all..."

"I-I have to go over there..." She croaks.

"No you don't. I'm right here."

"I have to see him..."

She can feel Maya's chest rise and fall and she sits them up, wiping away Andy's tears. "You've went three weeks without him... you even made it through Valentine's day... there's no need to start over from day one."

She looks across the room to her dresser to see everything that was sitting at her doorstep on the fourteenth of February. Around twenty bouquets of roses, chocolate. "He sent the Chef from San Francisco to my front door... he cooked me steak" She whispers as she laid her head on Maya chest.

"And he called you and you picked the phone up immediately." She could hear a slight tone in her voice but isn't paying attention enough to analyze it. "You make it too easy for him."

"H-He's my bestfriend, Maya."

Chuckling, she adjusted herself to be face to face with Andy.

"He broke your heart, Andy. He's lied to you." Andy wiped underneath her nose and sighed. "So did Ripley and the girl."

"She has a name..."

"And here you are still defending her." Rolling her eyes, she takes the blanket off her and slides into her house slippers. "Where are you going?"

She doesn't voice a word, just pushes past her and goes over to her closet. She places a coat over her body then a pair of sweats.

"Andy, no." Trying to stop her as she dresses herself in warmer clothes suitable for the cold weather outside. "Andy, we've talked about this..."

She still doesn't say a word. Just grabs her bag and phone from the bed and heads for the door. Maya places her body against it, stopping her.

"Move." Is the first thing that comes from her mouth since she woke in a cold sweat.

"No." She stands with her hand out, trying to stop Andy from coming closer. "I'm not letting you leave."

"Maya..."

"No." She says. "You came home sobbing that night... I knew something was wrong because you haven't had a full conversation with me since I moved In here. You don't get out of bed unless it's for school and you've been avoiding going to see you mom for five days..."

She just looks down to her feet and goes to play with her finger...She rolls her eyes again and wipes away a fallen tear. She doesn't say anything, she just takes a step back and Maya lowered her hand.

"You deserve so much better. He's probably moved on."

"Let's relax..." Andy says, a slight defense, she gave, and she tries to leave again.

"Andy."

"I just need to go for a drive... I need to clear my head."

"I'll come." She says almost immediately.

"By myself, Maya." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going over there... I'll be back in an hour. You're doing it again..."

"Doing what? Trying to stop you from falling for his lies again?"

"Being possessive." And she opens the door and leaves.

It is cold, so cold that she can see her breath when she exhaled. It didn't take a lot of self-encouragement for her to open her car door and tread his front door. She needs to see him, physically with her own eyes. She needs to know that he is well. She wraps herself tighter in her sweater as she knocks. It was not a demanding knock. It is a knock that is gentle, it asks to be let in.

The door flies open and she is met, he is met... they meet eachother with a look of exhaustion. An obvious vein popping from his forehead. He has nothing on but a pair of sweatpants, so her eyes easily travel to the scars that were once only held together but sewing material. And she can feel it again... the churning in her stomach when she first laid eyes on them.

He can see her face... so much sadness and hurt it is held with at the look of his body. She doesn't even notice when he moves from her frame of view for all of five seconds. She only notices that his body isn't bare anymore. A shirt is now covering him, and it pulls her eyes to his. She can see in his eyes that he hasn't slept... it's obvious.

Even though she is standing there, in front of him, it still is not enough for her. Not knowing if it is another endless nightmare that comes to taunt her more often that not. She wants to reach up and touch him, but is afraid that he is real. Afraid that since she is the one who breaks them, he will reject her.

She doesn't want to stay, all she had in mind was to see him and leave. That was the plan but staring at him just will not fill the void that is sat deep inside.

Raising her hand, he flinched slightly at the cold of it against his cheek but leaned into it after a few seconds. The moment she lets go; he feels empty. The loss of warmth from her palm and his heart sinks a little and he is confused as he watches her step back and turn around.

She knows she must look silly... taking a twenty-minute drive across town, standing at his doorway in weather that isn't particularly cold but is enough to raise the hairs on your arm, then walks away.

"Andy." He whispers but it is loud enough to make her stop in her tracks. A chill runs down her spine and she's not sure if it is the cool breeze or the sound of her name rolling off his tongue. She wants to answer back, but any word that comes from her mouth will be in a croak so she just... stands there. Again. Not sure why, she could just leave but a part of her doesn't want to. The whole of her doesn't want to. But she did this for a reason, she left his house that night for a reason.

Walking towards her, her back is still to him and hesitates before slipping his finger in front of her palm, hoping that she will grasp onto it. Almost immediately his hopes were fulfilled and he can feel the relief leave his body.

"Wait here."

She turns back to him, she tries to stop him, but it is too late. He was already inside, and she lets out a sigh. A couple minutes later, he returns with a blanket and keys. They are a different set of keys than she remembers, she is about to question until she comes to the realization. In a quick second her hand is in his as he pulls her along to an unfamiliar truck. Opening the passenger side door, she slowly crawls in, not having energy to make a fuss.

The entire drive, she allows her hand to rest in his. Her head against the window as the trees speed by. No music playing just the sounds of a few cars passing by them every now and again. The drive was a little over thirty minutes, she was unsure of where they were headed but kept quiet. A small road is when she knows where she is and she looks to him. He is so tired, and she can tell, and it breaks her heart to see him as. He parks and gets out coming over to her side.

"We haven't been here in years." She whispers looking at the house and it relaxes her a bit. He does not say anything. He helps her out and tosses the throw over his shoulder as he offers his hand to her in which she accepts. There are wooden stairs that lead to a deck that looks over the lake and, on that deck, are chairs but Andy completely avoids them and goes over to the wooden railing.

"Do you need anything?" He asks as he lets her wander off and she shakes her head. "I'll be back." And he leaves for five minutes and comes back with a book.

She feels his presence as she stares at the moon reflecting off the water. "You haven't been sleeping..." She says tracing a ringed crevice that is stamped into the wood.

"Neither have you." There is a breeze wave that flies, making the branches from surrounding trees creak and the leaves ruffle together. She shivers and he takes notice. Only wearing a pair of silk night pants and a long sleeve shirt with a cardigan over top could not make for a great night outfit in Seattle. He puts the book down on the table and slowly wraps his arms around her body and It surprises him when she leans into him. And for a second she forgets... she forgets about the nightmares... she forgets about her constant heartache that she has felt for what feels like months. She tries to soak it in, breath in his scent, feel the warmth of his body and the strength of his arms around her. She doesn't want to go back to being weary, this is a happy place... her happy place.

"You promised that you would take care of yourself..."

"and I am."

She sighs and comes back to reality, as natural as it felt to be wrapped with him, she shouldn't. "Like I said earlier... you haven't slept." She steps away from him, turning his direction.

"As to my response was..."

"I know." And she turns back to the water, crossing her arms over her chest. He wished that she would come back into his arms, but she kept her distance. "Two years ago..." She starts as she tucks her hair behind her ear. "We all came here for spring break. My family, yours, and Ripley's. Everything was so simple then."

"We were here in 2011 also... Christmas."

"Oh please..." She knows where the story is heading, and she can't help the smile that grows on her face.

"You thought the ice was solid underneath and you..."

"Fell straight though..." She finishes his thought and glances over to him briefly.

Robert stuffs his hands into his pocket, watching as her eyes ran around the outside of the house. "Everything's still simple." He says... it was a delayed thought but he felt the need to say it.

It leads her to shake her head slightly, he notices as she goes to toy with the finger that used to hold her ring.

"Not as simple."

"How so?" They are talking to each other from opposite sides of the railing.

"You didn't lie to me back then." She says bluntly. "You were so straightforward with me and so was I..."

"Andy..."

"It's true... and you know it...Sometimes you were an ass... but at least I knew that you were telling me the truth."

It is silent for minutes; nothing can be heard but the sound of the wind howling and the tension that rose and the slight tightening in her chest that is just minutes away from taking over.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She takes a glance at him, letting out a breath of disbelief.

"I lied."

And she turns to look at him fully waiting for him to say more. She can admit to herself that it did not help. She wanted that, for him to admit that he withheld truth but what did she want after that? It's not enough for her to fall asleep at night without waking with dreams that can only be subsided with the physicality of him. His face holds a blank expression as he peers his eyes away from her direction. The tone in his voice is one she knows too well. It is one that he uses when he defends her honor and in things so silly and she would tell him that she doesn't need his help, it's the tone that he uses when he will do it again...

"and you don't regret it." She says in more of a stating matter than questioning and he just stands with his hands tumbling occasionally in his pockets. "Shocker."

"No I don't." He shrugs his shoulders and hers fall with disappointment. "I would do it again even, but only you would not find out."

"Robert." She is stunned by his confession and her eyebrows smashes together.

"I would have a better plan in place this time, probably wouldn't have let my little sister spend the night at you place that night..."

"Stop talking."

"Should've told you I had the flu or something... something contagious so you wouldn't come over."

"Are you serious, right now?"

"Do you want to know why?" He asks but even if she denies his offer, she is sure that he will fill her in, nonetheless. He trains his eyes to her again, piercing them as he speaks his truth. "Why did you show up to my doorstep tonight?" His tone is low, in no way does he want her to leave so he keeps his voice as a whisper. And he waits for her answer.

"Would you like me to go home? By all mea-"

"Just answer the question. And you know I didn't mean it like that."

She doesn't say anything, just again goes for the ring that doesn't accompany her finger anymore and shrugs.

"My earring... my earring"

"Your earring?" He chuckles a bit. "At 2 am, you came twenty minutes across town for... your earring? Do you even think that I believe that?"

"No."

"Okay." He says and takes a deep breath as he can begin to see his breath in the air when he exhaled. "Even though I haven't been with you the past week... I keep you awake at night. Don't I?"

In more ways than one. She doesn't tell him that though. He already knows... why not just say it? Because then he will be right?

"I can handle myself..."

"I didn't say that you couldn't..."

"That's what you've been saying this whole time... you keep things from me in order to 'protect' me. You don't have faith I am actually strong enough to face whatever truth you tell me. Good or bad. You feel the need to pick me out... piece by piece and set me aside and it hurts you know..."

"You didn't answer my question..."

"Why would you ask me a question you obviously already know the answer to? Do you take pleasure in being right?"

He is trying not to get defensive; he knows why she has this cold tone and it's his fault. He bites the inner side of his cheek and runs his finger under his nose.

"Why would I take pleasure in knowing that you can't sleep because of a decision I made?"

"I can't just not sleep, Sully." She snaps. "I have to literally distract myself in order for those stupid scars that you have on your body to not pop in my head... and when I do find myself exhausted enough to close my eyes; it doesn't last. I am back awake, crying my eyes out in the matter of minutes."

Robert clenches the bone in his jaw at the thought. It was stupid. A better plan... he should have thought it through better.

"but I don't fault you for that..."

"I fault myself for it." He is immediate with his response as they both look over the panoramic from the lake house.

"Well...the only thing you should fault yourself for is not telling me the second you were able to."

"Andy..."

"You couldn't help being hurt... I understand that. You couldn't control that, it's not your fault." She speaks. "But what you actually could control, you chose to keep it from me, and that's where I blame you."

Pondering his thoughts... they stand there, quiet. It's getting cooler and cooler and the wind is doing nothing but aiding the temperature, yet he isn't bothered by it and neither is she.

"The other day... you said you don't trust me." Her shoulders shrug and she blinks from the wind coating her eyes. "Do you?"

"I want to..."

"But you don't."

"I love you."

"I know that."

"I just don't want to question if whatever you tell me is a lie..."

"Besides Princeton and this... name something that I have lied to you about."

"That's not the point..."

They are not getting anywhere, the conversation isn't clearing anything, it's just constant going over what they know... lies, trust, love.

"Trust..." He chuckles underneath his breath and he walks a little further away before returning to her direction. "It's funny Andy... really. It is..."

She slowly turns to look at him and she's confused. Pushing a few strands that had fallen by the fault of a draft. "You remember Elijah?" Her head is to the floor at the sound of his name... not because he has any leftover effects, not that his name brings joyous memories...

"I was landing from Jersey... this was around the time of the crystal ball." He's calm, his demeanor isn't angry. It is if like he has no emotion, completely neutralized. "You should know... it's the last time you saw him... that I know of."

Her jaw drops slightly as she takes a few seconds... "Are you serious?"

"It looks as if he is about to kiss you if I am recalling this text message correctly... the photograph correctly. He has always tried to get under my skin... but this time he knew he wouldn't be around anymore, so he sent a photo of your lips..." He pinches his thumb and index finger together and walked closer to her slightly and he rises his shoulders before he lets them fall again. "This close to his..." "And you know I have no problem with bringing something up if it bothers me... and I also know nothing happened because I trust you, but what did bother me is that you didn't tell me."

"I-."

"And the more that time went on... months past and you still don't tell me. It led me to believe something else happened and I beat myself up about it. I told myself that I should be trusting you... I said that I shouldn't question your loyalty and blah blah... but I thought about it more than I would like to admit. I thought about bringing it up, but there was no need, a month had past, and I was over it. We were good. I knew that you loved me and vice versa."

"T-that you know of?" He breaths out and her breathing stutters as she does.

"Out of all of that...that's what you got from it?" He asks.

"I didn't tell you because nothing happened..."

"He showed up to your house... and he can't get past the gate unless his name is listed. He feels comfortable enough to knock on your front door and you allowed him to get within breath-feeling distance of you..."

Rolling her eyes, she pursed her lips together. "Are you accusing me of chea-."

"I just said that I know nothing happened..."

"You also said, 'that you know of.' Like I've seen him behind your back or something..." And she stares at him... waiting for him to deny that he's had a speculation that she had been unfaithful to him, and it hurts even more. "Sully..."

"The point is... I trusted you."

"Trusted?"

"I trust you." He corrects himself.

"Have you had the thought that I've cheated on you?" He says nothing and she chuckles... and stands there for a minute waiting for him to put an end to her thoughts... but nothing. Nodding her head, she turns around and begins to walk towards the inside blinking back tears that threatened to fall. "...okay."

"Andy..." It's not enough to stop her this time... he could've said more... could've elaborated on what was going through his head, but he chose silence. He finds himself walking at a slightly faster speed than she, and halting her by basing himself in front of her. "What I meant was..."

"I don't care what you meant... the way that you are comparing a non-existent kiss to you not telling me that you almost died is enough to not want to be around you right now."

"That wasn't my point..." She tries to move around him, but he steps to the side causing her to try again and fail. He tries to lift her chin, but she sways her head away.

"Move."

"I didn't bring us out here to argue..." He says. "I don't want to fight anymore..."

"Y-you just told me that you think that I stepped out on our relationship."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't not say."

He runs his hand down his face and steps away from her... leaving space for him to actually see her expression. "I had the thought at the time..."

"You're stupid to think that."

"And I realized that... it was ridiculous, but I did, if you were sent a picture from my ex with our lips centimeters apart-..."

"I would trust you..."

"No you wouldn't... trust goes out the door the second there is something remotely close to evidence... the minute you see it you would question and that's what I did, but I knew that you would tell me about it eventually but you didn't and I still trusted... I still trust you."

"It didn't happen... I felt sick the moment he tried leaned in and I wanted to tell you..." And here is his point... closing in. "I just... I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know." He says after a few seconds. "I wasn't accusing you of cheating... it was something that happen months ago..."

"It doesn't compare..."

"Andrea."

"It doesn't and I don't want to go down this road again... let's get to my point. You keep things from me because you have in your head that I need to be protected... I have literal guards outside of my house for that. Emotionally, I can handle myself. Yes, My dad die-..."

"The exact same way I almost did..." It's like her body is stunned and she is frozen... it's like she stops breathing, like her body has run out of oxygen to regulate. "I want you to think hard... do you actually think that I would tell you this?" She starts to breathe again and does so, slowly. Like exercises, trying to calm herself. "So, I will say this again...I don't regret keeping it from you, but... I do regret hurting you and I regret having such a terrible plan that led you to find out."

"My dad..." Her voice is trembling, and she looks at him... he's still a few feet away. "He died in a car accident..." Robert nods his head. "And you were so close..."

"But I didn't..." He tries to close in on the distance between them. "You're nightmare..."

"I want to hate you..."

"It was about me and your dad..." He finishes his sentence and ignoring what she said. The tear that falls tells him enough... He's not taking his steps slow anymore. He walks up to her, taking his hand out of his pockets and lifting her chin to look him in the eye. "Talk to me..." Maybe she will open up again... tell him things that they would never keep from each other.

She fills her lungs to the brim and looks to the side before returning his gaze. "I'm tired... I want to go home..." Sometimes it irritates her how well he knows her... someone who isn't yourself can know you better than yourself.

"Please talk to me."

"That's all I asked of you... all the time." "But do you?" She pushes away his hand and walks to the way of the truck they came in. It's not his truck... she refuses to call it that.

So there are five words, you could take them in different ways. Could use them to ask the task of the next hour or it could be used to ask of a next step.

"So what are we doing?" She stops again. "We aren't getting anywhere, you're angry and I understand that... I respect that. I gave you space like you've asked. I don't know what else to do Andy... I can tell you how much I love you... I can tell you how far I would go to fight for you, but will it work? You don't trust me... you've made that clear. We both know that no relationship works without it. We know that..." His tone had been one in the same all night... quiet and calm. As if it were the last fight that he could participate it. He feels old and brittle. His mind feels the same. He hasn't slept... has barely eaten, he's tired of the same fight. "But I won't apologize for trying to protect you... I'm so sorry for making you hurt and cry, I hate myself for making you feel like that and I feel as though I do it way too many times. Getting things right with you doesn't seem to be my strongest quality, but please don't think that it isn't a priority. It wasn't my intention to try to turn this around on you... I swear, I needed to make a point and I'm still not sure if you got it or not but it's whatever now." His hands are back in his pockets and her back is facing him again... much like when she showed up earlier that night. "I'm rolling the ball to you... it's in your court. More time? Cool. Take a break? Okay..." He pauses before he speaks again. "End it?"

There are things to consider... things that she has thought about since the day she met him, things that would only come up in a vow at a wedding or maybe a toast. Love... happiness... beyond... it's all wired to be nice. Handling one's heart with care, it's a fragile thing and you have to be mindful... She'll stop there, it's what she feels most when she's with him. Love, happiness... and the beyond. The wind has wiped away her tears for her, but they still come.

"I just want you to be happy." He adds. "It's all I'll ever want, honestly. So what... what do you want?"

It is those words that makes her shift her body to look at him and they glare at each other. The moon light reflecting off his skin and even though they are feet apart, she can see the gloss that coats his eyes.

"...you."

He moves closer to her, but not close enough for the two of them to touch.

"and you're sure about that?" He asks... holding on to the last bit of self-control he contains... it only takes the up and down movement of her head for his lips to be against hers. A sealant of some sort was planted inside. It's salty from her tears and sweet from the lip balm that covers her lips. Slowly allowing her arms to raise up and gently caress his cheek and his arm around her waist, he pulls her inevitably closer.

Like it required no actual effort, he hoists her up and her legs are wrapped around his waist. Their lips never parting, he walks up the small steps and opens the back door. Out of all places they can go... he chooses the living room, the floor. He carefully kneels down and places her body on a blanket that he has there from earlier before he pulls away.

"When... when we talked about the little separation thing. We said that we wouldn't have sex until it was over..." She sighs out as he trails his wet kisses along her jawline, but he stops when he realizes what she said. "so I went off my birth control."

"You did?" He asks and she nods as her chest is steadily heaving up and down.

"I need you to bring out the 'pro at pulling out' Sully." She says and he chuckles before staring down at her and he could see her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "What?"

Shaking his head, he pressed his lips to hers and gently wrapped his hand around her neck. The kiss was messier than the one a few minutes ago... he pulls away and she lifts his shirt over his head and there she is again... she finds herself looking over his scars again. They were healed but they were still there.

"Hey..." He tries to catch her attention back but she just keep her gaze there, so he has to take his finger and lift her chin. Spreading a small smile over his face. "I'm okay."

She takes one last glance before she pulls her shirt over her head.

"This was so unethically wrong..." She says as she staddles his waist and his back is against the sofa. "We just did very... sinful things to each other in our families' lake house... in the living room." There is a blanket draped around her back and it travels to the front of her.

He bites onto the mango that she holds to his lips and he runs his finger along the small of her back.

"Doing." He corrected. "We're doing very sinful things to each other in our families' lake house."

"Do you remember this?" He pulls out a picture from his wallet... and she stops chewing. It could be just her being dramatic or the hopeless romantic in her but she could have cried right then and there.

"Y-You have a picture of me in your wallet?" She pouts her lip and takes the dated polaroid from his hand.

"It's been in there for years, Andy." She looks at it and she remember everything from that day. "Why are you crying?" He chuckled and she buries her head in the crook of his neck.

"This was the day Ripley's dog got loose and you came over his house for the first time. He called me and Claud brought me to help find him."

"And I ask you again.. why are you crying?"

"I don't know." She sniffles and lifts her head. "it was the first time that we actually hung out. You took this picture... and you've had it ever since?" She asks and he nods.

"It's been in here forever... I have this one too." And he pulls out another. She bites her bottom lip and looks at him again.

"This was at the hospital..." He nods. "The day Ella was born. My parents and I left my debutant pageant to come..."

"And that's when I know we'd be besties for the resties." He changed to tone of his voice to mock her and he hits his shoulder as she giggled.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she lets their lips meet and it was quick. Just a simple peck and then one to his nose. "I'm sorry, Andrea."

She nods her head and sighs. "I know."


Should i tell yall when the last chapter will be or should i just pop up and be like: