Reframe.

Retell.

Reclaim.

Gohan pushed his journal aside, grimacing and rubbing his forehead. He'd lost track of time as of late and it suddenly occurred to him that he had been attacking this self forgiveness thing as if it were a school assignment. As if it had to be done now, and done right and be over with.

Even though Ms. Naoru TOLD him that it would take time, he would backslide and it was okay to take a break from it. She'd even TOLD him to make SURE he took a break from it and didn't drown himself in it.

But he wanted to fix it. He needed to fix it. He...

A surge of anger at himself made Gohan flop his head down on his desk. "Idiot." He shouted to himself, amid the muffled space created by wood and arm. "Idiot Gohan."

He knew this would be hard. He knew it. He also knew, deep down, that he would be digging through lots of emotions towards lots of different people. That was okay, that was normal.

Maybe this was enough for tonight.

Pushing the writing aside, Gohan flopped down on his bed without so much as another thought. For as much as emotional health was beneficial, few people realized how utterly exhausting it could be. He felt as worn as if he had been training all day except the weariness was in his mind, leaving him fuzzy and heavy as lead.

Sleep.

OOO

"What are you, a coward?"

The accusation stung and Gohan wasn't sure if his inability to move was spurred by the absolute wreck his body was or the weight his father's words suddenly piled on his heart. A coward? Daddy thought he was a coward?

Has he said coward? Or had it been some other word? Jackass? Moron? Idiot? Did it even matter? Daddy has always been rock, the one he could always rely on. He'd never raised his voice at him and now...now...

The disappointment felt like would drown him and when Goku turned to look at him, the elder man's face was twisted, snarled into a frightening glare, a scowl that made the boy's stomach sink.

"Coward. Fool. Moron."

The entire landscape shattered away, fell apart like broken glass.

"He does not wish to be brought back. He will return under his own time."

The thundering voice of Shenlong cut his heart. Not come back? Why? Why wouldn't he want to come back? Was there something wrong with them? Was there something wrong with HIM?

Why didn't he want to come home? Surely, after that mess in Namek, he would he anxious to rush back to Mount Paouz, right? He wanted to be back with his family!

Right? Right?

"Tell your Mom I'm sorry."

"Don't wish me back, okay, guys?"

That moment...it would never stop feeling like a knife to the heart. Like every pain he had accumulated in the battle with Cell had suddenly been thrust onto his heart. Why? They had plans. They'd made plans. They'd promised. HE'D promised.

Then, out of nowhere, in front of him, halo and all was his father. Gohan reached for him, screeched after him. "Daddy, come home! I still need you!"

The man stared at him, silent, unyielding before vanishing in a flash of cloud and smoke.

"Daddy!"

OOO

Gohan jerked awake with a scream and shout. Sweat poured off his face and his heart ached from thumping so hard. It wasn't that nightmares were unknown to him—far from it. He'd grown accustomed to them. But these dreams...dreams that built and twisted on memories.

"Gohan?"

The door opened and both his parents came rushing in, ChiChi in front despite her—well, waddling stance now. Taking a seat on the bed, she reached out and stroked his sweaty hair back even as Goku knelt by his other side.

"What happened, little man? Haven't heard you shout like that in a long time."

Gohan looked at him and oh so many things rushed through his head. Bad things, good things, scary things. Things he wanted to say and was terrified to say.

Yet words failed him.

Reaching out to the bedside table, he grasped one of the colored seashells. While most of them were kept in the living room, he and his mom had a handful they kept on hand. Gohan held it a moment then just let it fall to the ground. That was the lowest place yet could think of right now...

"Okay," ChiChi settled herself. "Emotionally drowning?"

Gohan managed a nod.

That said, both parents settled themselves near him and wrapped their arms around him. The tightness was comforting and Gohan set his thoughts on just what he could feel, what he could smell, what he could hear and see.

Mom still had the lingering smell of smoke from when she'd cooked dinner. Daddy's arms had a tinge of callousness to them—built up over the years. He could hear both their heartbeats. It was an anchoring hum. Focusing, settling into that, letting that become a rock made it easier for the other emotions to wash off. Not gone but to...sort of drain away.

After a time, Gohan spoke, "I had a dream about you, Daddy."

Goku cocked his head, "'Bout me? That's what scared you this bad?"

Shaking his head, Gohan admitted. "What I feel scares me."

ChiChi looked at Goku, "Goku, why don't you go mix that cinnamon milk we all like. I think we could all use some."

The Saiyan father nodded and stood, ruffling his son's hair gently as he went. After his footsteps passed down the hall, ChiChi addressed her son,

"What are you feeling, Gohan?"

"I...I dunno. It was about the time he didn't come right back from Namek. And when he...yelled at me on the battlefield. And when...he didn't wanna come home after Cell." He winced. "But Daddy and I talked 'bout that last one! We talked 'bout it lots! So why is it popping up to bug me now?"

The Son matriarch remained quiet a moment, thinking. "What were you doing before bed?"

"Exercises. To process stuff that's happened. Ms. Naoru says that's how you come to terms with it. And to come to terms with yourself. You have to look at it, all sides of it."

ChiChi nodded, "I've heard similar. Sounds like that's what was happenin' in your dream to me."

"Huh?"

"Let's think, Gohan." She offered, gently. "You remember that conversation you and I had—about how you wanted to be your own person and do both studyin' and trainin' and how you told me how some of the things I did hurt you." She bit her lip "After you and your father came back from Master Korin's."

He nodded, "I made you cry. I'm sorry." He remembered that in detail. The almost horrific realization in her eyes. The depth of regret in her face. He'd known that he needed to tell her. He'd told her about sadness, anger, shame...

Shaking her head, ChiChi said "Well, I'm not. I needed to hear it. I had no idea it had affected you so badly. It sounds like you're finally at that point with your father."

Gohan gaped at her. "Wha...?"

"I know you, Gohan. You mighta told your father how sad you were when he finally came back after Cell but did you ever talk about your other feelings?"

"Other..."

"Your doubt. Your confusion. Your anger." ChiChi knew those emotions had been there because she'd seen it. She'd felt it herself. When Goku had come back, not just after Cell but the times before...she'd been happy and thrilled but also angry and confused and sad. She was never one to keep those feelings under wraps and they'd always dealt with them. Though now she knew better ways to do that.

Her son though. He was a different story. He kept things bottled and contained. She doubted Gohan always knew for himself when those emotions bubbled up.

"Mom, if I had...those feelings...wouldn't I have had to deal with them already?" There was genuine wonder in his tone. "I mean, all my other emotions have been coming up. It's been weeks since Korin's. Wouldn't they have come up before now?"

The woman considered then said "Unless they were pushed down deep. Your father told me that while you were separated in the dimension at Korin's that he heard some things between you and him on a battlefield."

Gohan blinked, eyes wide. He thought he'd heard something like that too but he'd pushed it aside, ignored it. Pretended it didn't happen. It had worked wonderful until his dreams pulled it up to the surface again.

"You've been doin' so good, sweetie." ChiChi gently pushed a stray hair out of her son's face. "And you've been digging into things that make you uncomfortable because you want to get better. But I'm sure Ms. Naoru told you that this was the hard part, the digging and uncovering. I know mine did."

"...she did." Gohan eyed her, looking more than a little lost. "But I don't get it. Why would I be able to talk to you about this kind of stuff but the idea of doing it with Daddy feels so much...harder?" Did that makes him a bad person? Was the fact he had confronted his mother with this first without issue and was struggling at the thought of doing the same with his father an indication he was a terrible son?!

"Your father has always been your protector." There was no anger in ChiChi's voice, just a quiet realization. "Even when you were a baby, he was always the one that struggled being a bad guy, being a disciplinarian." Shaking her head with a smile, ChiChi remarked, "He got the hang of it but your father was always like some kind of God to you, Gohan. I see it all the time. But he's not perfect, just like I'm not. Just like you're not. That's a hard image to break."

It made sense. It made a lot of sense. It made too much sense. So many emotions roiling in his gut that he needed to let out but how could he? "Daddy and you have been helping me so much! How can I just unleash anger at him now?"

"Well, one at a time, prob'ly works best."

Goku's familiar baritone reentered the atmosphere and he made his way back in, this time with three steaming mugs of cinnamon milk in hand. Gohan stared at him as he came on and set them on the desk. When the man knelt in front of him and took his hands, Gohan shook.

"Gohan, are you afraid I'll be upset?"

Oh, if he was...Gohan managed a simple nod.

"Well, I'll tell you right now, I won't be. When I came back after Cell, one thing was real clear to me—sometimes, well, my priorities had been a little wacky. Your mom and I discussed it. It's only fair you get to as well."

It was like a well inside of him, something churning that had always been there and slowly grown over the years but he'd ignored it. Pretended it wasn't there.

"But...it's over. Done like the shower."

Goku shook his head. "You and Mom and I talked about the shower, remember? We all talked 'bout it and how we all felt and we said our sorrys but you haven't told me all YOU'VE felt, Gohan. About a lot of things."

Goku's eyes were soft. "And I can't really make it right unless I know what all those things did to you, can I?"

Like a surge of energy, like an all-encompassing ocean wave, the well of emotion Gohan had kept so well hidden and maintained, erupted.