A/N: thank you so much for your feedback!


Padmé was enjoying a late lunch with her son, Luke, while still at the rebellion base, despite her promises of the previous night of leaving back for her apartment so she wouldn't get in the way anymore. She had her bags ready to go, though she lacked the courage to officially leave.

Luke, naturally, wasn't all that happy about it, and Padmé could sense an unexplainable resentment of his sister that he desperately tried to hide, or move past — she wasn't quite sure other than that he despised himself for it. So, talking about the topic had become a moot topic for the time being, and they chose to ignore it altogether.

They had barely addressed the events of the previous day.

Ameera, on the other hand, upon seeing Padmé packing, had told her to sit her ass back down and settle down. Of course, Ameera's brute lexicon didn't surprise Padmé anymore, but she struggled to do as she had been told, especially when it felt so wrong to stay. Then, Ameera proceeded to tell many stories of how many times she had threatened to kill Duaa, words spoken in the heat of the moment by a wounded soul — and Padmé did appreciate her friend's attempt of consolation. So, although she had finished packing her very few belongings, she decided to wait until the end of the day to see how things would unfold.

Unfortunately, every minute that passed in which Leia didn't come out to make amends for the previous night was a minute more where Padmé lost all her hope.

She didn't address that aloud either, though.

Instead, she was simply enjoying her time with her son, despite the amount of unspoken tension in the air. They were both trying to act normal, to pretend that was just an ordinary day, even though one of their family members had forsaken them the night before.

That all changed when Padmé suddenly frowned and her gaze went past Luke's head.

He scowled as well, turning his head around to see what had abruptly caught Padmé's attention, and his heart broke a little when the woman walking towards them wasn't Leia.

He had seen her before, though, around the base. He had never talked to her, so he didn't know her name.

However — Padmé did.

"Marlow," she gently called for Mon Mothma's assistant the moment the young girl approached their table. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry to bother you on your lunch break, Madam," ever so polite, Marlow curtseyed before Padmé.

"It's okay," Padmé said, already far too used to Marlow's innate timidity. "What's the matter? Aren't you supposed to be at the Senate?"

"I am," Marlow agreed, ignoring the big set of blue eyes that curiously stared at her. "Mon Mothma sent me over, actually. She had scheduled to meet with Princess Leia to go over the press conference early this morning. However, it has been hours, and the Princess hasn't shown up."

Padmé's eyes widened; so did Luke's.

"Wait, Leia didn't show up for her duty?" Luke asked, the implication getting lost from him due to its unreliability. "That doesn't happen. Leia might be dying but she will still always show up for her duty."

He spoke aloud the words on Padmé's mind. No matter how defeated Leia might be, she always put her obligations first, above even herself. No matter how badly she might have been hurting the previous night, it wasn't like her to simply — give up.

Give up. Padmé's heart sped up.

"Hence why Madam Mothma became worried, sir," Marlow addressed the rebellion's hero for the first time, regardless of how intimidated his mere presence made her feel. "She told me to come find Leia and not to return to the Senate unless I'm with her or I have a very good reason as to why she won't come."

Although Marlow was speaking, Padmé's head was already too far ahead to properly hear what she was saying.

She shouldn't have left Leia alone, was the only thought on her mind, alongside every single scenario that could have come from Leia's degrading mental state the previous night.

Suddenly, Padmé was all but forgotten of the things said back then.

"I haven't seen Leia since last night," Luke said, looking down. "I usually at least run into her in the mornings, but I… I wasn't exactly fond of coming across her today."

Padmé didn't have the time to interpret whatever he meant.

"Marlow, sit down," Padmé ordered, her voice so imposing that Marlow saw no choice but to take a seat next to Luke while Padmé herself was already on her feet. "You two — stay put. Let's not crowd Leia. I'll see to it myself."

With that, Padmé left without waiting for a response.


Knocking on Leia's door felt like a dejà vu to the previous night. Yet, it felt so wrong, as nobody came to answer it this time.

Her heart was beating so fast it threatened to jump out of her chest.

On a whim, she tried to open it. To her surprise, it had been left unlocked; like whoever had stormed out of there — Luke — had closed it and Leia hadn't even bothered to lock it up.

With her heart on her throat, Padmé stepped inside.

The room was completely dark, and Padmé never feared something as she dreaded to flick on the lights and learn what she would find — how she would find Leia. However, the penumbra didn't give her another choice.

Bracing herself, Padmé turned on the lights. She couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped her lips upon seeing Leia lying down on her bed.

Breathing; she could tell as much from the gentle rise and fall of her body, even though Leia faced the wall. She wasn't moving, and not even Padmé's sudden presence there had made her flinch and give some sign of awareness.

Padmé noticed how she laid over the bedsheets, and her clothes were the same as the day before. Her hair was left in an unfinished braid; the braid that Padmé hadn't had the chance to finish the previous night. It would seem — Leia had simply collapsed and given up.

The mother took one step ahead, stopping on her track when the sound of something cracking under her foot came. She looked down and saw shards of a broken vase shattered all over the ground, mashed with the dirt that was once inside it and the remnants of what once was the life form of a plant.

The plant that Chewbacca had given Leia once Han went missing, in a silent promise that life would always bloom. When Leia had reached her lowest point in the previous night and squashed the vase against the floor — the promise was no longer there, as she no longer believed in it.

Sometimes — life just ceased to exist.

Dreading an accident to happen, Padmé picked up the bigger shards from the floor and placed them over the table, thinking to herself that she would deal with the minor ones later. There, she found a blurry holo picture of the Organas; a beautiful picture of their family, taken in a moment where they were away from the public eye. She concluded that was the picture that had been broken such a long time ago, and she was slightly happy that Leia could have it back.

The picture, however, didn't attract her attention as much as the datapad next to it. The datapad still turned on, showing her a voice memo. Making a face to herself, she played it.

"She's gone. She's gone, and I don't know what to do…"

Padmé was startled to hear the voice of her deceased friend, and her heart hurt as the message carried through and she came to understand the anguish behind its context. As she listened to it, her eyes wandered towards Leia, focusing on her and the small body responses that hearing the ghost of her dead father speak so fondly of her would bring her.

Yet, Leia didn't as much as shift.

"Tell her that her heart is a star so bright that it will never burn out, and so long as she holds tight to the light inside of her, she will outshine them all."

Padmé's eyes filled to the brim with water as Bail Organa's message came to an end. Still gazing at Leia, she wondered — had Leia, at last, let go of the light inside of her?

With a tired sigh, Padmé walked towards Leia. She doubted the princess was sleeping, her body was too tense despite its stillness for her to be asleep. Expecting her presence to have been acknowledged by then, Padmé carefully took a seat by the edge of the bed; the mattress shifted underneath her.

Still, Leia's body remained just as lifeless. It worried Padmé.

Gently, she placed her hand over Leia's shoulder and left it there. Just as still, nothing more than a reminder that she was there.

Leia didn't shiver at the unexpected touch.

Padmé tried to look at her, but the princess had hidden away every single of her traits.

So, very plainly, very crudely, Padmé asked, "Are you hurt?"

Leia didn't answer; didn't as much breathe to show she had acknowledged Padmé's question.

Padmé bit on the tip of her tongue; her silence — wasn't okay.

"Leia," she imposed her voice, like she was back in the galactic senate again, "I need you to tell me if you're hurt. Physically hurt, I mean."

Padmé thought she saw a slight movement from Leia, but if it was real, and whether Leia had been nodding or shaking her head, she couldn't know.

"Leia, damnit," Padmé cried. "Enough with this. I understand that you're suffering, that your heart is in pain, but you need to speak to me right now. This isn't the way, Leia…! You're already so determined to hurt everybody else around you, but I will not stand by and let you hurt yourself."

The hurt behind her words was evident; the sharpness of her words sliced like a knife — Padmé didn't care. Leia had hurt her the previous night, and she wouldn't just ignore it, not even for the princess' sake.

"Why do you care?"

Meanwhile, Leia's hushed words were so soft yet so unexpected that, even though Padmé was waiting for them, they startled her.

Padmé sighed; honestly, she couldn't answer that.

"I don't know. I just do."

She couldn't walk away, no matter how much her reason begged her to — that no relationship was worth all the emotional distress that her relation with Leia had been ever since they first met each other.

But those moments where they had both put their walls down and allowed something good to happen; all those small instances where Padmé had genuinely fallen in love with her daughter — they had been worth the hurt, how could they not?

Clinging to those memories, Padmé blinked slowly.

"If I don't care, Leia, who else will?"

At last, Padmé felt Leia shivering underneath her touch.

"You shouldn't."

Leia pulled her arms to herself, trying to make herself even smaller.

"Why are you here?"

Padmé didn't allow herself to think of her anger, to remember how she had been so hurt that she had cried herself to sleep the night before; she was trying so desperately to be the better person, to be there despite all the words that had been spoken — words that had deeply affected her — and she refused to be scared away again due to Leia's defense mechanism of hurting others so she wouldn't further hurt herself.

"Because it's the right thing to do."

Leia breathed in a raggedy breath; it didn't feel right for her. It all felt — so wrong, to have the woman she so wrongly deceived come back to her at every turn. She did not deserve it; she deserved to be left alone.

After all, hadn't she pushed away every person that could possibly care for her? Her brother's words echoed endlessly in her mind.

"We're past all thought of right or wrong."

Padmé frowned, unsure of how to respond to that. Did Leia regret the things she had done and said to the point she didn't think herself deserving of being looked after?

"Leia," Padmé said her name firmly. "You still haven't answered my question, and I need you to."

Leia exhaled tiredly, very quickly brushing her finger against the corner of her eye.

"No," Leia whispered. "I don't break my promises, Padmé."

Padmé compressed her lips; if the urge had still been there and Leia only refrained herself from doing something reckless because she had once made a promise — they weren't that better off.

Padmé made herself comfortable, leaning over the headboard and spreading her legs across the mattress; Leia was so withered to her side it was no struggle to fit them both there.

"I was really worried, you know, when nobody had seen you all day and I came to learn that you had ditched your meeting with Mon Mothma, without letting her know. It's not like you to forfeit on your obligations, no matter how hurt you are," the mother elaborated. "I could only think to myself, has Leia finally had enough? Has she done something rash that will leave all of us broken for the rest of our lives?"

Leia felt her lower lip trembling.

"I'm relieved that my worst fears didn't come true," Padmé admitted. "However, seeing you here like this, like you've given up — it doesn't ease my concerns."

Leia sniffed but held tight to her silence.

"That was a very beautiful message," Padmé continued, referring to Bail's final message to his daughter, even if indirectly. She would infer that, given Leia's reaction and her current emotional state, Leia had never listened to it before. "His heart ached for you, and his only comfort before death was knowing you were alive. You were always his only hope."

Padmé looked at the face that Leia tried to hide from her; she noticed that her eyes were closed so tightly there were wrinkles all over them.

"Your father was always good with words," she reminisced with a sad smile. "He always had this innate power of commanding a whole room into listening to him, and his speeches were always encouraging enough to move mountains."

She observed, from Leia's face, that she was desperately trying not to cry again. Padmé only wished she would.

"The stuff he said — about your heart being a star so bright that it would never burn out, and that your light would outshine every bit of darkness in this galaxy," she paraphrased, "Well. That's so — inspirational, to say the least. He knew you like nobody else, so I sincerely hope that you will take his words to heart."

Padmé thought she heard the start of a broken wail.

"What I'm trying to say is, what I'm asking of you — don't give up, Leia. Don't let your light burn out. You've already come so far."

Desperately, Leia placed her hands over her mouth.

"You can cry. Even if it feels wrong to, you can cry."

This time, a sob broke through Leia's lip, muffed only by her hands over her mouth.

"If I'm a star, then the only star I can ever be is the Death Star," Leia let it out. "I only bring darkness to the path I walk on."

Padmé frowned. "What are you talking about, Leia? You restored the light back to the galaxy. You brought peace and freedom—"

"My parents, Alderaan, Luke, you—" she gasped, out of breath. "I lose everything I love. No, I taint everything I love. I am — Anakin. I've only brought misery to those around me."

Padmé listened carefully, a little taken back from that sudden outburst of emotions when Leia tended to store it all deep inside of her until she exploded.

Well — the explosion came.

"Leia," Padmé called her, "I think that, just like Anakin, you hurt too deeply. You have claimed the pain of everyone you loved — of Alderaan, of your parents, of your people — and you've made it your essence because you're too scared to actually lose them if you let go of their pain. But you're wrong, you're only further damaging yourself by holding their pain. Leia, it's time to let go and hold tight to what truly matters — their legacy. That's what you need to be, not their undoing."

Still looking at her hidden figure, Padmé squeezed her shoulder tight.

"Besides — You still haven't lost everything," she continued. "You still haven't lost Luke. Nor me."

That was all it took for Leia to angrily come out of her cocoon and turn around to face Padmé, tears and all.

"I drove you all away!" she yelled, "I hurt you, the both of you."

Fresh tears streamed down Leia's face as she looked deeply into Padmé's eyes.

"You shouldn't be here," Leia said calmly this time, and Padmé heard something other than the previous night's anger on her voice. So, she waited. "The things I said — I wanted to hurt you."

Pouting her lips, Padmé nodded. "And you did."

"You shouldn't be here," she kept repeating herself, and Padmé wondered whether she thought she wasn't deserving of having Padmé back or if she dreaded that Padmé would leave again. "The things I said — unexcusable. You deserve better than this, you deserve someone who—who doesn't treat you so badly. So does Luke…!"

"Then apologize," Padmé demanded with a serious face. "Learn how to apologize, Leia. It's time to grow up and realize there are consequences to your actions. You can't treat people like they're disposable, even if life has tried to show you otherwise."

Now in a sitting position, Leia struggled to hold eye contact, but she forced herself to.

"I have grown up. I was forced to grow up the moment I was brought aboard the Death Star. I'm no longer that girl so full of light and hope that — that my father was talking about…!"

If she were to have an entire conversation while tears freely ran down her cheeks, then so be it — she didn't care about appearances anymore.

"The girl he knew died alongside Alderaan."

"She did," Padmé sadly agreed. "You were forced to grow up too fast. You had no choice but to let go of everything you were in the blink of an eye, and that was never fair. You were left so hurt by that abrupt force demanding that you grew up that, sometimes, you go back to unhealthy, immature ways to cope with your trauma."

Then, silence fell again.

"Unexpected loss is — is like a lightning bolt you don't see coming, tearing inside of you," Padmé said, her thumb gently rubbing over Leia's knees. "Be it the loss of yourself or the loss of those dear to you; it tears you apart. But no matter how destroyed you are inside, my love, you cannot use it as an excuse to hurt other people, especially those that so deeply care for you. They are under no obligation to stay by your side as you consciously hurt them time after time."

"You are," Leia said softly, quick to correct herself before she was misinterpreted, "I mean, you are under no obligation. There has been nobody that I've hurt more than you, and you shouldn't be here."

"But I am," Padmé said rigidly, "Yesterday — you told me you would never have your second chance. Well, Leia, I am here, giving you your second chance. I'm praying that you accept it, but only you can decide for yourself. Only you can decide to be better. Second chances are hard to come, but third chances? They're even rarer."

Leia's lips fell apart as if it would help her breathe easier. It didn't.

"I… I don't deserve second chances, Padmé. Not only do I feel like you've given me too many chances already, and I repetitively failed you every single time, but… There's too much blood on my hands. I don't deserve it."

It took a few seconds for Padmé to understand that they were back where it all started — Alderaan.

By then, Leia's gaze had dropped to her lap.

"Leia…" Padmé hoped to attract her eyes again, to no avail. "No matter what I or anyone say, you will still blame yourself, but listen to me, Leia. What happened to Alderaan — was not your fault, and if I have to spend the rest of my days reminding you of that, I will."

Leia choked a strange sound. "That implies that I'd be granted the absolution to have you for the rest of our lives."

"Maybe I am still hopeful that you'll accept the absolution I grant you. That Alderaan grants you."

"Padmé—"

"No, Leia, listen to me," Padmé insisted, "To die for one's people is a great sacrifice. To live for one's people is an even greater sacrifice. If you owe Alderaan anything, you owe them your life. You owe it to them to carry on."

Leia struggled to catch her breath.

"I just want to go home," she confessed, her voice shaking. "Even if one last time."

"I know, Leia," Padmé smiled sadly.

"I never got to say goodbye," she cried.

"It wouldn't have made it easier."

Leia brought both her hands to her face.

"I have tried to move on from Alderaan ever since the day its destruction was set in motion," Leia admitted. "I have tried everything to forget the pain of the past and focus on the future. Yet, it haunts me. It's like every day further away, the more it hurts. The more I long to go home. It's been four years, why can't I just forget?"

"Forgetting would be a dishonor to Alderaan," Padmé said. "It would be a dishonor to the life that welcomed you there, even if you weren't born a child of Alderaan. You can't just forget and erase all the good, all the love that you were given there."

"Then how do I move on?" Leia begged for an answer. "How do I let go of Alderaan?"

Padmé leaned forward and intertwined both her hands with Leia's, lowering them and having her look at her again. "You don't."

Leia looked at her, scared of the answer.

"Death will always be harder on the living, you're the one left to ache for all the life that just ceased to exist," Padmé held her hands tight, "That doesn't mean you have to bury your losses so deep inside of you. The only way to move on is by feeling all your losses until you can accept them."

"But I feel," Leia insisted, "I feel so much, sometimes I think I will implode."

"Then implode," Padmé said, "Stop keeping your feelings to yourself only. You have a whole support system here for you, all ready to lend you their hands if you just say the word. Share your pains, Leia."

Leia tried; she honestly did.

"I—I can't. I don't know how to."

Padmé gently ran her thumbs over Leia's skin. "Tell me what you feel, Leia. Let it all out."

Lowering her head once again, Leia focused on Padmé's hands on her. "I feel… pain. I'm in pain, and pain is a good thing. It means I'm still alive. It should be enough, then why isn't it?"

"I think, Leia, it doesn't feel enough because only bad stuff has ever come from your pain," Padmé suggested, leaning down so she could search for Leia's eyes again. "I don't want to glorify your suffering, far from it, but — you have to allow the good, too. Not the outer good; no, you've already done too much for everybody else. I'm talking about your inner peace. It's time you allow good things to happen to you again."

Leia listened, even when it was so hard to.

"How do I do that when I drive away every good thing that comes on my way?" she asked between gasps. "I hurt Luke. Luke, my other half. Not only have I hurt him every time he tried to help me, but I physically hurt him yesterday. Padmé—I pushed him so angrily that I drew blood. There is no coming back from that."

Padmé swallowed hard as she came to better understand what had happened between the twins the previous night, what had caused Luke to be so — drawn away when she saw him earlier that day. Of course, he wouldn't tell her what took place because he still unconditionally loved his sister, and even on his dismay he was still trying to protect her, but — her actions had still hurt, like nothing else ever had.

More than ever, Padmé felt the need to repeat herself, "Apologize, Leia."

It didn't escape her that Leia still hadn't apologized for hurting her either; if the princess thought that their current conversation was enough to erase all that had been said, then she was wrong. Padmé would not cower herself again into forgiveness, not unless said forgiveness was earned.

"I hurt him," Leia said again, "How could I ever make this right again?"

"I don't know," Padmé confessed, "That is for you and your brother to work through. However, I can state for a fact that he loves you, and no matter how hurt he is, there is nothing more than he wants than to make amends with you."

Sniffing, Leia ran the back of her hand against her cheek. "How do you know?"

"Because, if Luke wanted nothing to do with you," Padmé incited, "He would have told me what happened."

Leia thought she had managed to control her tears; she was wrong.

"Anakin hurt you," Leia reminded her with a grave voice. "Would you ever forgive him?"

Padmé shifted on her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the swift change in conversation.

"You're not Anakin, Leia."

"I feel — like I am," she said.

"The difference between you and Anakin, Leia, is that you've still got time to atone for your mistakes," Padmé lectured. "Don't wait until it's too late."

Leia inhaled a deep breath, then another, and another.

Meanwhile, Padmé waited for an apology to come.

"I had never listened to my father's final message," Leia said in a low voice, pulling her legs close to her chest. "I've had it — ever since the day Alderaan was brought to its doom, and somehow I made it out of the Death Star alive. But I couldn't — I couldn't bring myself to hear it. It would just hurt too much, to hear his voice one last time, regardless of what he had to say."

Padmé noticed how small she was trying to make herself.

"Yesterday — I don't remember the last time I felt so… so sad. I just wanted to be reminded of how much love my parents once had for me. Turns out that hearing it was a dagger to my heart; it brought me so much pain, thinking of everything that was stolen from us, that I… It was like I lost all my strength, like—like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even get out of bed."

Padmé nodded, coming to realize why she had ignored her meeting with Mon Mothma — and Padmé understood it. Unfortunately, she did.

"If you don't learn how to deal with grief, that's like taking in a breath and holding it for the rest of your life."

Unconsciously, Leia drew in a tight breath.

"Leia, you don't get to decide who lives and who doesn't. Anakin tried to become so powerful so he could save those he cared for from death that he became his own doom. What Anakin couldn't understand, and what you're still struggling to understand — we're organic, we're meant to die, and that's beautiful. It's where beauty lies, in the mortality of things."

"It's different when death is the natural course of life and when death is forced upon you," Leia choked out.

"Yes, and no," Padmé reached out to touch her leg. "To truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them, no matter how or when they might be taken from you."

Leia hugged her legs. "That seems like an awfully sad way to live."

"So maybe it is," Padmé agreed, "It's still better than shutting yourself to the possibility of love because you're so afraid to open your heart only to have it crushed again. You can't escape death, Leia. People in our lives will die, people that we love, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now, maybe — after we die. But just because someone we love died, just because we can't see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn't mean they're not still here with us."

Leia's lips fell half opened as she tried to control her ragged breathing. It was hard to focus past the glimpse of her tears, so she didn't look at Padmé at all.

"It isn't easy, but one day, you'll find little moments, little pieces of your life that remind you of them, and they'll be silly and dumb, or they'll be sad and you'll cry for hours. But they'll still be a piece of them, and if you hold them tight, it'll be like they're here with you, even though they're gone."

Padmé leaned forward and placed her index under Leia's trembling chin, guiding Leia's head up until Leia was looking at her again, no matter how hard it was.

"When we die, we turn into stories, and every time someone tells one of those stories, it's like we're still here for them. We're all stories in the end."

She cupped Leia's cheeks with both her hands, weeping Leia's tears with her thumbs even if more would still come.

"Tell me a story, Leia."

"W—What?"

"Tell me a story," Padmé repeated, a tender smile across her lips. "A happy one, or a sad one. Remember, Leia, allow yourself to think of the past without being scared of the pain it'll bring you. So, tell me a story."

Leia opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to force the words out. "I — I can't."

"Yes, you can," Padmé insisted, her voice and face suddenly serious. "Come on, anything. Just try, for me, okay?"

Leia closed her eyes and allowed memories of her childhood and her youth to flood her mind. She ignored the tight pain in her chest as she revisited the times of her life where she was so happy and nothing could get her happiness away from her. She ignored the warm tears that still escaped her eyelids as she remembered.

She remembered jumping into her father's arms whenever he came home from Coruscant; she remembered sitting through boring galas and having to restrain her snicker whenever her parents did something funny to amuse her. She remembered her mother sitting her on her lap and crafting the most beautiful braids on her hair; she remembered taking turns with her mother and making a mess out of the Queen's hair; she remembered playing makeup with her father, on her father. She remembered quietly sitting with her parents in the private library of the palace, each doing their respective chores, together. She remembered laying on her parents' bed when she was a child, so scared of her nightmares she was; she remembered laying on her parents' bed when she was a teenager, being comforted by the grace of her mother and the serenity of her father after she suffered her first heartbreak. She remembered—

"Grand Moff Tarkin once invited himself to a private dinner my parents were hosting with a few of the leaders of the rebellion and I saved him from learning about my parents' involvement in rebellion by breaking into tears after my mother accused my father of having an affair with Mon Mothma."

She poured the words out, barely breathing between sentences, and gasping once she was finished. When Leia brought herself to open her eyes again, Padmé was staring back at her with such a perplexed face that it was impossible not to break into laughter.

So, she did. The both of them.

"Your mother accused your father of having an affair with Mon Mothma—" Padmé said again, giggling, trying to fully process the story. "Does Mon Mothma know?"

"She was there."

"She was there…!" Padmé chocked out, amused and amazed at the same time. "I wish I could have been a fly in the room just to see your father blush. He was such — a prude. Women — and men — would shamelessly flirt with him in the Senate, yet he wouldn't even notice it. He only ever had eyes for your mother."

Leia laughed again.

"If you think my father's reaction was priceless, imagine the look of horror on Mon Mothma's face," Leia said, and Padmé snorted. "Even if everybody but Tarkin knew it was an act, it was all so — awkward."

"It mustn't have been easy to sit there and hear your mother accuse your father of adultery."

"Hence the tears," Leia reminisced, "Even if I knew it wasn't true. But picturing my father and Mon? Ew."

Padmé chuckled, so did Leia, and their brief euphoria slowly came to an end.

Still, Padmé smiled.

"Do you feel better?"

Leia leaned slightly back, the happy smile on her face turning into a sad one. "Yes. Surprisingly — I do."

Padmé gently brushed loose strands of hair away from Leia's face.

"Things end. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again too, and that's always happy. Be happy, Leia."

Putting on the strongest face she had to offer, Leia nodded.

"Today, you've taken the first step towards the future," Padmé said, "I am incredibly proud of you, Leia."

Compressing her lips on a thin line, Leia nodded again.

Then, Padmé broke all contact and her gaze fell down; her mission there was over, she had offered Leia every piece of wisdom she had acquired across the years, and she could now go on with her life without a heavy conscience that she had left her daughter behind hurting. She could go, walk away from a half mended relationship that had brought her more misery than joy in the span of months. She could, even if she didn't truly want to go, and part of her heart would still be left behind.

Leia looked down as well, starting to anxiously fidget with her hands over her lap. Her heart beating heavily on her chest; she wasn't good with addressing her emotions aloud, she never had been, but she urgently understood it was time to grow up.

"I don't want you to go."

Next to her, Padmé essentially stopped breathing.

"Leia—"

"Please don't go," Leia cried, her voice small and broken again. "I can't afford to lose you, too."

Padmé's eyes glistered.

"Okay," Padmé conceded, even if it felt wrong to go. "I won't go—"

Leia raised her hand in the air to stop Padmé from talking. Although a little taken aback, Padmé did.

"You've done all the talking so far. Now it's my turn," Leia determined, even though her eyes remained glued to the mattress underneath them. "Ever since you came into our lives, I've been determined to show you that your presence here hurts, that you're a breathing reminder of everything I lost. While there's still truth at that, it's not the whole truth, no. Your presence here — numbs the pain, it grounds me, and instead of offering you my gratitude, I only ever made you an outlet for all my sorrows. I don't know how to apologize, I don't know how to make this right. I've been terribly cruel to you, when you weren't at fault for anything that happened during the war, when you were a victim yourself. You never deserved any of the things I put you through."

Padmé chewed on her cheeks before she lost control of her emotions. Still, she didn't say anything, only listened.

"What I'm trying to say is — I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lashing out at you at every chance I got, I'm sorry for viewing you as my sole enemy when you were only trying to help. I'm sorry for hurting you, willingly hurting you. I was wrong, on all accounts, to treat you crudely when you only gave me strength, when you only showed me kindness and understanding, day after day, even when you were under no obligation to do so. You said you were giving me a second chance today, even though I don't deserve it. I've already hurt you so badly that I don't deserve your forgiveness. Yet, here I find myself praying for your forgiveness, because I need you, Padmé. I don't want you to leave because I need you, my mother."

Padmé brought her hand to her mouth before a wail escaped her throat — her mother.

"Can you forgive me, mother? I promise you I will do better, I will be better, for you and for everybody else. So, can you forgive me?"

Mother. After everything they had gone through, all the pains and misunderstandings, Leia had accepted her as much.

Leia knew that Padmé would never replace the parents she had lost on Alderaan, even Padmé was intrinsically aware of it. But it was okay — Leia could have more than one mother.

It almost felt too good to have two.

Unable to hold herself back any longer, Padmé launched herself forwards and caught Leia on an unexpected hug.

"I forgive you, Leia."

When first tense and still at the suddenness of the embrace, Leia remembered her promises and wrapped her arms tightly around Padmé's waist. Accepting comfort just as she was offering it.

"Thank you," Leia whispered, resting her forehead on Padmé's shoulder.

Padmé kissed the top of her head while running her hands up and down Leia's back. Overwhelmed, but grateful that, after everything, after all the pains and sorrows of the past two decades, it all started to feel right again.

"I… I need to get ready," Leia said after a while. "Mon Mothma… must be waiting for me. I need to do a press conference, to release a statement addressing everything that was said by the Empire."

At last, Padmé pulled back, although she left her hands on Leia's arms. "I know it won't be easy, but you can do it."

"I can do it, I think I can, " Leia nodded. "Still… I would like, if it isn't asking for too much…" she cleared her throat, struggling with her words. "Would you be there with me?"

Padmé's eyes widened at the request. Her surprise sent Leia into a panic.

"I know you have nothing to do with Alderaan, but… You've helped me, today and everyday else. You've helped me try and cope with my feelings regarding the disaster, and although I can't say that my guilt has been magically erased… You've helped, and so did hearing my father's last words. He would want me to carry on the fight, carry on the light, so that's what I'm going to do. My father knew that I had been the reason that the Death Star had been brought to Alderaan, yet he chose to forgive me, to send me his blessing to live the rest of my life. To honor his name and the name of every Alderaanian as I live. So that's what I'm going to do today, that's what I'm going to say in my speech. Still… I would like you to be there. Not for me, but… with me."

Smiling proudly, Padmé gave her arms a strong squeeze.

"It would be my honor, Leia."

Relieved, Leia nodded; she could breathe again.

She got up; gathering all her strength when just earlier that day she thought she had no strength left, Leia got out of bed with her head tall. She walked towards the vanity, where her makeup and all her hair apparatus was, but before taking a seat to start to get herself ready, she picked up the comb and turned back towards Padmé.

"Would you do my hair?"

Then, there was no restraining of her smile. The greatest form of bonding between women in Alderaanian culture was crafting each other's braids, and although Leia wasn't aware that Padmé knew as much, she had still asked her to, trusted her with one of the greatest forms of prestige according to her traditions.

Unintentely, Padmé repeated, "It would be my honor, Leia," and it was true; an honor even greater than standing with Leia during the press conference.

Leia smiled, grateful, and sat down.

With confidence, Padmé followed towards the vanity and picked up the comb. "A braid, yes? How would you like it?"

Leia took her time to think, fidgeting through her makeup as Padmé carefully brushed her hair.

"I was thinking… A high bun updo, with an upside-down braid," Leia elaborated, widely gesturing with her hand around her head. "To enhance the back of my neck."

"Hm. I think I can do that. You're gonna look beautiful," Padmé acceded, starting to work her fingers through the length of Leia's hair. Only when she was dividing her hair in half that the realization came to her, and color immediately left her face. "Your scars—"

"They want to know about my complicity on the Death Star," Leia spoke gravely, the veil of the cold, calculating politician falling over her. "So, I'll show them. I want the world to see what the Death Star did to me."

Padmé swallowed uncomfortably; she had assumed that was how Leia had gotten her scars, but hearing its confirmation didn't bring her any comfort. "I think that's very brave of you."

Anxiously, Leia fiddled with the skin foundation on her hands — she didn't feel brave, nor confident. The concept was there, but putting herself out there and actually going through with it seemed so — scary.

That would be more than she had ever revealed to the public eye.

Still, she forced herself to say, "Yeah."

Padmé noticed the insecurities coming from the princess, and she understood. Occasionally, under the excuse of giving her hands a break from the braids, Padmé would rest both of them over Leia's shoulders and would discreetly try to rub away her tension. She couldn't know if it'd work, but she hoped it would serve as some consolation.

"Was that your first encounter with Vader?"

Leia was so distracted within her inner solitude that it took a few moments for Padmé's words to find their meanings.

"Hm? Yeah. I mean — no, I had seen him before, in the Senate, I—I had talked to him, diplomatically, before, but… Yes. By all means, that had been my first encounter with the — the real Vader."

Padmé's hand brushed close to Leia's neck; Leia shivered.

"It must have been terrifying."

Leia sighed, clasping to her silence.

"The first time I saw — Vader," Padmé choked out the name with disgust, "I didn't know he wasn't Anakin anymore. Well, I knew, I had been told as much, but I just didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it, refused to. That was the man I had fallen in love with, the man I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with; how could I believe that he had suddenly become — a monster? We were expecting a baby—!"

Padmé expired breathlessly; the memories of that day would always haunt her.

"I followed Anakin to Mustafar, and there I confronted him," she continued, noticing how Leia's reflection in the mirror had suddenly become frozen. "The things he was saying — about how powerful he was, about his craving to rule the galaxy — I didn't recognize Anakin. That wasn't Anakin anymore, and I knew I had lost him forever. He asked me to join him in his new Empire, but I couldn't. How could I, when I had fought for democracy ever since I was just a teenager? I forsook my love for Anakin that moment, and he saw it as the greatest betrayal against him."

Padmé drew in a sharp breath.

"He tried to kill me. Through the Force, he grabbed me by the throat and began to choke me. I—I couldn't breathe, I saw the world going dark around me, and all I could think — my baby, please don't kill my baby. Because you weren't his baby anymore; only mine. No father chooses to strangle the mother carrying their unborn child to death. My last thought was of you before I fell unconscious, I — I don't even know if Anakin still knew that I was alive. When I woke up again, you had been taken from me, and I was certain that Anakin — Vader had killed you. Had stolen you from me."

Padmé forced her hands to be steady; she couldn't afford to mess up Leia's hair.

"In a way, he had."

She focused herself on the braids, forbidding herself of sparing Vader a second thought. She hated Vader with every fiber of her being.

Ironically enough, those were the same fibers that still endlessly loved Anakin.

"I just — you never asked me about it, Leia. I can't tell if because you respect the privacy of my trauma, or if you were too afraid to learn even more of Vader's cruelty. Still… I think you should know. I know that you're well aware that Vader hurt everybody that came on his way across the galaxy, but… It still hurts, to know of the crimes he committed against you, against me, against Luke, against Han — and just because he also hurt the rest of the galaxy, maybe even more than he hurt us, it doesn't make our pain any less justified."

Abruptly, Leia picked up her powder brush again, starting to apply makeup over her face too fast. Padmé felt bad for inflicting such a distressful reaction upon her daughter, but she wouldn't take back her words. It was time they both acknowledged aloud all of Vader's doing.

The mother gently squeezed Leia's back again, wanting to remind her where she was and that Vader was long, long dead.

Even if he would haunt their family forever.

Leia tried to find comfort in Padmé's small gesture.

"Vader tortured me," she burbled aloud, surprising even herself. She hadn't expected her own words.

It was Padmé's turn to become still; she wasn't stupid, she had always known something bad had happened to Leia during her captivity, that the imperials would have done everything in their power to get her to talk, but — even in her darkest dream, she would never have thought that Vader would have seen to Leia's torture himself.

Leia, their daughter.

"I — tried to believe they would respect my diplomatic immunity for as long as I could. I tried to fool myself, for I knew of my fate the moment Vader boarded my ship and killed everybody but me," Leia said in a low voice, still frantically working with her makeup to give her mind something else to do than to think of her revelation. "I had heard about the torture droids before, about how they were built to deliver unimaginable pain. Worse pain than any known disease or wound, but… It had always been just a concept. I—I never thought I would be on the receiving end."

Unaware of her own movements, Padmé's eyes descended to the scars on Leia's neck. Her heart ached.

"It — the droid found my most sensible areas, mostly, my neck, and my spine, and pumped drug after drug into me. Drugs designed to decrease my pain threshold while also forcing me to stay conscient, so even the slight stumbling of my toe would bring me immense agony. Only then… did the real torture begin."

Leia's chest rose and fell rapidly with oxygen while she meticulously worked with her eyeliner. Forcing any discomfort at the mere memories back to where they came from, ignoring the writhing of her leg just as her body had once writhed on the dirty floor of the Death Star, where she had begged and screamed for a mercy that never came for what felt like endless hours.

"Vader only entered my mind after I was weak from the things they did to me," she whispered, her throat hoarse, having finished one eye and going to the other. "He knew I wouldn't reveal anything while I was still strong to my senses, so he stole all my senses away from me. I did not break, Padmé, I swear I held tight to my convictions no matter how much it hurt."

"I know," Padmé hummed softly — as if she would think any less of Leia if she had come to tell the information they sought after being subjected to the most inhumane forms of torture!

Leia grew restless when she was done with her makeup and she had nothing else to entertain herself with. She was left with no choice but to stare at Padmé through the mirror.

"It's just — what gets me the most, sometimes, is that he could spare Luke in the end, but he couldn't spare me," she said, fingers now tapping against the wooden vanity. "Luke is so determined to show me how there was still good in him, that he came back, but if there was still good in him, then he wouldn't so mercilessly torture his own daughter. Would he?"

"I don't know," Padmé admitted, ignoring the knots on her stomach as she forced herself to finish fixing the high bun on Leia's head.

"Me either," Leia breathed out, now clasping her hands together to stop herself from twitching her fingers.

Padmé fixed one last pin on her hair bun so it wouldn't easily crumble down before she leaned down next to the princess, holding eye contact through the mirror.

"Leia. Breathe."

"I am breathing," Leia said, taking a deep breath in just to prove as much. "I'm… I'm glad I told you, though."

Smiling sadly, Padmé placed her hand on the small of her back.

"You look beautiful, Leia," she said, and although Leia blushed, she accepted the compliment. "Is there something we can do to take your mind off things?"

"Y—Yes," she hesitantly concurred. "Talk dresses with me?"

Padmé nodded; that much she could do.

And talk dresses they did. Binding their time, completely ignoring how Mon Mothma must have been losing her mind the longer it took Leia to show up. Until they settled on a white long-sleeved dress, a white dress with a low back that would give the perfect sight of Leia's scars to anybody that dared to open their eyes and see. A white dress representing both the innocence that had been ripped away from her during her stay at the Death Star and the peace she had worked so hard to bring to the galaxy.

They were ready to finally depart when Leia turned to Padmé again, and for once in the entirety of their relationship, she didn't try to be or act like the taller person.

"I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come for me today," Leia confessed, referring to her lowest point, to the ruin she had brought upon herself. A feeling so degrading that she had honestly believed she would never willingly stand again. She had been wrong. "So, above everything else, thank you for rescuing me when I needed saving the most."

Tenderly cupping Leia's cheek, Padmé pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Leia coyly smiled, and with their heads high, they both walked out of there.


A/N: i do confess that writing about leia's torture made my toes tingle lol

let me know what you think!