"The Port Mafia get fooled by Tanizaki in this next scene, alright?" Mori waves the script.
"Really?" Tanizaki says, excited.
"Your Ability is perfect for it."
"Awesome!"
"So it takes RANPO to point out the obvious? That we need to find the one who made the virus? I could have figured that out in my sleep!" Atsushi complains.
"It's part of the FUCKING script, Atsushi. Stop questioning it!"
"You need better scriptwriters."
"I wrote that part!"
"You need to stop writing scripts, then." Ranpo says merrily, chewing on a piece of taffy.
"Why is this called cannibalism? It's not actual cannibalism." Kyouka remarks.
"Because shut it. That's what it's called."
"You really need to stop writing the script yourself." Tachihara mutters.
"If we can't stop the cannibalism, they're going to kill Tanizaki, who stayed behind to persuade the Port Mafia. Let's go." The pair run into the alley, and Kunikida trips.
The gun in his hand goes off, hitting Atsushi with a rubber bullet. "OW!"
"CUT!"
The man drops the piping-hot skillet. It lands on his foot and he howls in pain.
"CUT! You alright?"
"Broken foot, no big deal...please get me ice."
"Someone get Yosano…" Mori groans.
Kunikida jumps down the trapdoor. He lands wrong and rolls his ankle. "Ow."
"Cut! You good to keep going?"
"I'm fine."
The bullet flies into Atsushi's mouth. He gags and throws up. "Sorry…"
Kunikida steps around the puke. "Maybe we should do this in two takes. One where you get shot, another where the bullet is in your teeth."
"CUT! Good idea. And Atsushi, stop throwing up on the set! This is the second time now."
Atsushi shakes his head. "I'm not even going to argue that one."
"Tear gas on kids, Mori? That's low."
"They have sub-machine guns, Kunikida. How else would you do it?" Mori retorts.
"Okay, fair point, but why are you giving kids sub-machine guns on the show?"
"For ~drama~" Mori says, waving his hands in the air.
"Drama, my ass."
"It really is!"
"Is my foot up your ass not dramatic enough?! These are KIDS!"
"I'm going to say something I don't think I've had to tell you before. Roll. With. It. It's just a show."
Kunikida stalks away, grumbling.
"OH MY GOD you gave a child GRENADES!?"
"Relax, they're not real."
"Are you sure Kajii didn't get to them?" Kunikida asks.
"Or Fyodor?" Atsushi adds.
Gide looks at the fake grenades. "They're smoke grenades. Or they should be."
Odasaku runs in. "Don't pull the pin! Fyodor switched the grenades!"
"Told you." Kunikida mutters to Mori.
"Shut up."
The little girl sneezes and pulls the string early. A cloud of smoke billows out from her.
"CUT!"
"Fyodor manipulates a little girl into blowing herself up? What the FUCK, Mori!" Tachihara yells.
"Are you saying he wouldn't?"
"Okay, fair, but really? On TV?"
"Drama has no limits!" Mori cheers.
Atsushi throws a soda can at Mori.
The fake Pushkin squirms under Atsushi. The weretiger squeezes too hard. A popping sound is heard.
"MY ARM!"
Atsushi lets the man up. His arm is dislocated at the shoulder. "Oops."
"CUT!"
"I can fix that if you want." Atsushi offers. The man nods, grimacing.
He takes hold of the arm and shoves it back into the socket.
"Ow."
"The Mori Corporation, really?"
"What's wrong with the name?" Mori says defensively.
Gin shrugs. "It screams big ego, little brain."
"HEY!"
"Tanizaki is badass in this one!" Kyouka says, awestruck.
"Thank you." He demurs. "But it's not like I could really do that."
"You probably could. You're in good shape."
