An extra one to make up for the one I didn't post yesterday :D
Enjoy!
M.
Chapter 83
Thursday, December 27, 2012
"What have you in such a weird mood?" Harper asked as she and Libby sat next to Jack. They were watching the little kids play in the snow.
"The usual suspect?" Jack offered with a shrug.
"Your wife, who died then, didn't?" Libby asked. "How is she? I read all about the case, you know, the one she helped unravel. Quite amazing what they all managed."
"She managed… Not they all managed," Jack mumbled.
"She managed? You mean… She was the mastermind behind it all?" Harper asked. Surprised by Jack's words. Jack nodded. "So that's why she had so many identities while most people only got a handful?"
"I don't know," Jack shrugged again, taking a sip of his drink.
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"Please tell me you guys are talking," Shannon asked behind them.
"God… Really? All three of you now?" Jack rolled his eyes. "Hey! Can all my siblings and parents get back inside, so I won't have to go through this more than once?" He shouted. There were a couple of worried glances exchanged between in-laws as the O'Neill siblings all walked inside.
"Sam is alive. She has a daughter. We aren't talking that much, but we are friendly. I guess too many things have changed for both of us. We're having issues figuring it all out." He said. 'I'm having issues figuring out myself too,' he thought.
"We all knew that, Jack. Wasn't that exactly where you were at back in October?" Finn asked. There were several nods.
"It's complicated." Jack let out as an explanation. His mom walked to him and placed a hand over his shoulder.
"Jack. Life is complicated, but most of the time we make it like that. Most of the time we're just drowning in shallow water. You are a wise man. You should find her. Maybe she's scared."
"How can I possibly know?"
"You'll know."
"That's not helpful at all, mom." His mom smiled at him.
"Are you sure?" She asked. He nodded. Jack thought he was sure, but he wasn't.
"Search common ground, Jackie." His father added. "Search common ground and work at it from there."
No one else said anything, but he could read the saddened looks they were giving him. After all, Jack knew they all wanted him to be happy. One by one they left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
All but Shannon. She looked at him pointedly, considering if she should just tell him about Parker or give Sam a chance to tell him herself. She knew him, though, and she knew that no matter how obvious it was for her that Parker was her niece when he was brought out of his denial, it wouldn't be pretty and he would need his wife. It wasn't her truth to share, but she would be damned if she let them both sit on that for too long.
"Jack… Whatever you do, don't be an ass with that kid. You both might be screwed up right now, but the kid has no fault on this. And trust me, you might regret it later."
She patted his shoulder and joined the rest of the family outside. Shaking his head, he took his cellphone out and opened a message.
'You think we can give that call thing a try?' He texted before he could regret it. He had forgotten all about the message by the time his phone had vibrated in his pocket.
'Parker goes to bed at 2030. We can talk after that.'
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Sam was working on something for the private companies that direly needed her attention. Or so Jordan was claiming as he chattered loudly on her third screen. Since he was being loud, Parker had moved back to her room.
Her phone went off out of the blue, and she frowned.
"What's wrong, Grand Empress?" Jordan asked.
"Why do you keep calling me that after all this time?" She shook her head, amused.
"Because that's who you are." He shrugged in dismissal. "So, who is it?" Jordan asked, wriggling his eyebrows. "Please tell me it's that hot husband of yours. You know the one that for some reason isn't screwing your brains out as we speak. Although, I'll rather not be on this call if he was, if you were…" he said doing weird gestures with his hands.
"Jordan!" Sam chuckled. She grabbed her phone and frowned again. 'You think we can give that call thing a try?'
"A frown can't be something good? Do you need to go? We don't have a Jessica now. What would you do with Parker if you need to get to your base?"
"We?" She shook her head, grinning at him. "I have a pass for her. From when I was stuck in there after the car accident."
"Right. So?"
"So, what?"
"Are you going to the base?" He asked.
"No."
"So? Who was it?"
"Jack…"
"Oh! What does he want? Is he coming over? God, I'll like to see the two of you standing together. I'll bet that you look amazing standing next to each other."
"Are you ready to stop fangirling?" Sam chuckled again.
"I'm not fangirling. I didn't do that even when I figured out who you were."
"Yeah. Right. You kept that one to yourself long enough."
"I know. I'm kinda proud of me for that." He grinned. "But you, ma'am, are avoiding the subject at hand."
"He wants to have a video call."
"Let me end this now then."
"No!"
"What? Why not?" He looked at her. "He's your husband. As far as I know, you haven't spoken to him about the things you did. You know, I was there most of the time. I don't think they were as bad as you think they are." He frowned.
"It doesn't matter what you think."
"Ouch, thanks." He shook his head. "But it matters what he thinks. A piece of advice? Figure out if what he thinks and what you think he thinks are the same thing. I'm willing to bet they are not the same."
"He hates Parker," Sam stated. Then she placed one hand over her mouth. The widened eyes told Jordan she wasn't supposed to disclose that piece of information to him.
"I can't believe that. She's such a good girl."
"I don't understand it myself, Jnerd." She sighed. "I thought he would be willing to get to know her but… He stays as far away from her as he can."
"And if he can't accept her?"
"I don't know. I want him in my life, but I don't want to pick between him and Parker. I want them both. I guess I'm just being selfish, not thinking of what he might want. It's been eleven years. Maybe we're too different, maybe we never knew each other that much."
"Call him. Talk to him. You'll never know if you don't try. Besides, maybe you don't have to pick between them. Maybe you can have a relationship with him with a good deal of planning. If he doesn't want to meet her, then you'll need to plan around Parker's schedule too. But, hey… I've seen you planning around the schedule of over two hundred people… so three shouldn't be a big issue for you."
Sam looked at her phone, then at Jordan again.
"What if I can't?"
"Can't what?"
"Talk to him."
"I was once told that best relationships are those where you can sit in silence with your partner and feel like home. Give it a chance… Weren't you telling me the same a few months back?"
She grabbed her phone then. It had been a long while since he'd texted her. She checked the clock on the screen and sighed. "It's Parker time, Jnerd."
"Then tell him you'll go for it after P's time. What's the worst that can happen, he tells you 'no'? He was the one who asked."
"Okay, okay! You win!" She said, raising her hands in surrender. After typing a quick 'Parker goes to bed at 2030. We can talk after that.' She pressed send. "Now, if I don't call you about this…"
"There's always tomorrow. Good luck." Jordan said and winked at her.
"Are you coming to my birthday party?" She asked feeling her insecurities creeping out.
"Sure! I won't miss it for anything in the world. Maybe I finally know if the age on the file I saw is your real age."
"Forty-four, Jordan…" she rolled her eyes. "I'm turning forty-four. Goodbye!" She hung up on him before he could answer and walked to Parker's room. "Hey, bedtime." She said even if Parker was already in bed reading.
"Cool. Can't wait to hear what happens next."
Sam's phone went off then. She frowned for a second and took it out. Another text. 'I'll see you then. If I can remember how it works.' Sam smiled.
Parker watched her mom for a second. Wondering if the man on the phone was Sir General Jack. That would make sense because he seemed to be the only one who could make her eyes sparkle. She didn't ask, though, because she knew her question would go unanswered.
By eight-thirty, Sam was moving back to the office. Her phone went off again. 'Where are you?'
'Setting up,' she texted back.
'Cool, 'coz I don't know what I'm doing.' She shook her head, amused.
'Don't worry, I'll call u.'
It took her a moment to bring the software up. For some reason she was nervous. Her hands trembled as she typed his contact info and pressed the call button. He was too close to his camera and looked slightly out of focus.
"Whoa. How do you look so nice and I look like shit?" He asked. Sam shook her head.
"Practice, I guess." She said cryptically. As she thought of all the several hours of video, she'd created for all their special dates. "So, you want to talk."
"I want… something." Sam rubbed her face tiredly. "You are tired," Jack stated.
"I'm always tired, Jack. I don't know what it feels like not to be tired anymore."
"I understand. I've been there myself." He confessed.
"Why is this so hard?" She asked.
"Because…" he waved. "I think it has to do with who we are, Sam. We're very private people and we like to deal with our own shit behind closed doors. I'm fairly sure this is as hard for you as it is for me."
She placed her head between her hands and sighed, "Jack? Will you be here for my birthday?" She asked, risking a glance at her screen.
"I'll try." He answered honestly. They remained in silence for a while, totally defeating the purpose of the call.
"Fuck," she said. "To hell with this."
"With what?"
"What do you think I've done the time I was missing?" She braved.
"What was said in the several dozens of trials I was dragged to," he shrugged. "Carter." He sighed, and she squared her shoulders. A hint of pain grazed her eyes. Jack let out a breath. "Sam… Why didn't you call me? I mean, you contacted me before… Why did you stop? I waited for your calls… messages… something…"
"You know why." She smiled sadly at him.
"No, I don't."
"Maybourne was right. They were piling up information against anyone they thought could become a nice piece to move around. You were a great candidate at first, but beyond the footage you saw, the zat'arc file and our friendship. There wasn't anything they could use to keep you on their side, Jack."
"I see, but they took you," Jack said. "I never understood why they took you. You were far better back with us. You were far more useful here than there. I'm sure things wouldn't have taken so long if you were around to help."
"I didn't understand either, not for a while. Until I figured out they wanted me, and everyone else they took out, to join them. However, there was another layer of my situation."
"Me."
"Yes. They also wanted you, but they needed you Earthbound. Whereas they wanted me off-world. They kept both of us under surveillance before you took me to that safe house. They kept an eye on you while trying to find a way to make you cooperate. They also had you as a point of control." She shook her head.
"I think they underestimated my situation. There was no surveillance for any of my WITSEC alias. They hadn't kept that many tabs on me. Nothing that wasn't avoidable on my side, at least. Then, I found out they were keeping tabs on all of you. I didn't understand at first. Or I didn't want to understand… But it was…" she sighed.
"It was what?" He prodded.
"I believe they kept the records in your house, Daniel and Janet's in case I contacted you. They were kinda adamant that I was going to contact you. I think at first, their plan was to try to use whatever they could get from you to try to make me cooperate. To force me to push you to work for them."
"That was before you left them?"
"Yeah... I believe they kept it going until the end. Only to try to lure me into a false sense of security, when I would contact you. If I did, they could get to me, find where I was hiding. Also, they would have something on you. There was an order to find me and drag me to their command if I ever was found. There was a whole folder on how I was a traitor, and what they could use to get you." She saw him clenching his jaw tightly. Rage boiling in brown depths.
"I see," he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, how did you escape WITSEC? What made you flee? We only figured you went lost when Davis tried to contact you to deal with your replicator." Jack said.
"My handler. She figured something was wrong. When it kept happening that my covers were blown so many times for stupid things. She recommended me to find a way out. When she figured they were coming for me. She called me and gave me a head start. By then, I already had settled a fail-safe."
"But you still kept changing names?"
"Yes. I couldn't…" she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I think I became too paranoid. I was terrified that someone would find me and drag me back to WITSEC, or worse. That it would be someone from the Trust and I would end up off-world with no chance to return."
"There's something I need to ask, Sam… I hope you don't mind." She nodded. "Why did you return?" He asked. The answer for Sam was so clear, but should she let it out? Could she voice it? "You don't need to answer if you don't want to."
"I know." She agreed. "You. I came back for you."
There was silence settling again. It wasn't as comfortable as it could be. She was worried that her statement could've damaged whatever progress they'd done. Jack was terrified, Shannon and Connor had been right. She'd returned for him of all the things she could've returned for. What if he screwed this one up?
"I shouldn't have said that." She added when he said nothing.
"NO!" he shouted. "I mean. Isn't that the truth?"
"Will you run away if I tell you it is?" She flinched.
"No. Fuck, Sam. We needed to take matters into our hands, sooner. Now, it seems we bring down walls only to make them stronger."
"You know… The things on my shelves back in the SGC?" Jack nodded. "Those are the things that kept me going. They kept me sane. Those and this," she said. Pulling her dog tags out and showing him the ring that hung from it. "Janet saw this. She asked about it, but I didn't say a thing."
"Why did you mention it to the brass?" He spluttered.
"To avoid conflicts. God, we both know that if I didn't, I would be under your command. Since neither of us presented the change of status to the USAF, who knows what could've happened. I thought it would be for the best. I thought you would understand."
"I'm not sure I do. I mean, I haven't told anyone else." Jack said. 'Shouted it to Daniel when I was angry,' he thought.
'Except to the escort,' Sam thought. "I know." She said instead. "Does it piss you off that I told them?"
"Not really. It's just…"
"We didn't announce it together. Fuck, I don't even know if you want to keep it going. We don't even know if this is salvageable." Sam said.
"I think it is."
"You think?" She asked hopefully.
"I hope it is," Jack said. "Sam, now I know you came back for me. How couldn't I want to fix this if I've been waiting for you this whole time?"
"I… I don't know. Jack…"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared."
"Of what?" He shook his head, surprised by her answer. "What could you possibly be afraid of?"
"Myself. I'm scared of myself."
