Vivid blue streams cut through rolling valleys, running deep into the countryside. Beauty unmatched. He ran past vibrant forests, reaching for the rushing water.
"No!" someone called.
The rapids swirled before him. They dragged him towards the deep.
I deserve this.
He gave in. His eyes were flooded with azure.
o-o-o
"Wake up, wake up…"
It's hazy…
"I know. Stay with me."
Let me go.
o-o-o
Limbs of glass, he had limbs of glass and they had to stop breaking him, they had to stop—
"I'm trying, I'm—look, just don't think, pretend it's a dream. Wait…keep it together. That was bad advice, actually—"
o-o-o
Space wasn't as empty as it seemed.
The stars were blinding. Planets spun in the darkness. The sun, ever encroaching, seared off his skin.
Clay had never mentioned how terrifying it was.
"Lean on me," the astronaut insisted from afar. He shook his head.
"No…"
"Please. You have to."
Floating away felt better. He stared at his pale, pale bones. Maybe he'd turn into moon dust, soon.
o-o-o
It was quiet.
o-o-o
His skin was crawling.
o-o-o
"Not again," the void sighed. "I should've seen this coming…"
Disappointment, definitely. He blinked, trying to pinpoint its source.
"Mia…Fey?" he said. For some reason, it seemed like the most natural conclusion.
"What did you say?"
Wrong guess.
"I think…I spoke to her…" he defended.
It wasn't a wise choice. The world caved in on him, dissecting his claim.
"You can't have. She's…no, you're hallucinating. God, I need to check your temperature…are you listening? Stay here. Don't pass out, Apollo. Don't—"
o-o-o
Am I losing it?
o-o-o
"…yes, he's delirious…"
o-o-o
Isolation was setting in.
o-o-o
The silence grew unbearable.
o-o-o
He was talking too much. He knew he was, but he couldn't stop himself from going on and on about every little experience that made his mind ache day and night and night and day. It was all so unfair. Nothing ever worked out for him.
"Why do you think that?"
Because it had been that way since he was a child. There was no use hoping for a bright future. The past was dark enough.
"You're straining yourself—"
He hated this. Kristoph should've killed him. Kristoph should've—
"Tell me what he did to you."
o-o-o
A bruised jaw. A bloodied tongue. A shredded arm, a punctured lung.
Trivialities, in the grand scheme of things. He explained each injury with marked apathy, as if reciting lines from a court record. The circumstances were more important. It didn't matter that he'd been hurt.
Oh, it did matter? What a shock. Usually, no one cared about the consequences. He'd gotten used to picking up the pieces…
"You can't keep doing that. You need help."
He wasn't worth it. Besides, Kristoph had told him not to dwell on this.
o-o-o
Kristoph…
He had to stop thinking about him.
"It's okay…"
Absolutely not. Kristoph had ordered him to change. To thrive on his own.
To grow past that vast, impactful, everlasting shadow…
o-o-o
It was impossible.
I'm a failure.
"You're not."
This is why everyone abandoned him. He couldn't keep a simple promise.
o-o-o
"Hey, I know I don't usually call, but could you pick up Trucy for me? It's kind of an emergency…"
I don't get it…
"Not you, kid. Yeah, sorry about that. Apollo is…in a state."
This was the price for rambling. He shouldn't have brought up anything.
"It isn't rambling—look, I've got to go. He's really sick and he's saying whatever's on his mind."
Was he?
"Yes, you are."
End me, then.
o-o-o
His mouth tasted like iron. He coughed, noting the scarlet flecks along his palm.
Surviving felt senseless.
o-o-o
"102.3."
o-o-o
Kristoph had known when to accept defeat.
o-o-o
There was really no point to existing—
o-o-o
"Enough."
The rain was unrelenting. They were both stuck in the center of the street, growing more and more drenched with each second.
Kristoph didn't seem to mind. Droplets of water peppered the man's lenses, making him seem oddly genuine. His lavender suit was soaked through.
"You're unhappy, aren't you?"
Apollo dropped to his knees, feeling the wet concrete grind into his knuckles. He couldn't speak.
The stinging cold was smothering him. Ice covered the ground.
Kristoph stood still, watching him drown.
"Then stop resisting."
