Chapter 34: Nail Polish

After sobering up I didn't go to find Itachi as he expected. I realized after what I had told him that I needed to find out what was going on inside me. There was another being slowly taking control over my senses, therefore, my actions. Is it like a demon, like the tailed beasts? Or is it something else entirely? These questions needed to be answered and the only place I knew where to start looking was in Konohagakure. They had a library full of scrolls that had myths, legends and folklore that may be of use. Before just strutting my stuff over there I needed to prepare properly, which meant that I needed to go home back to the cottage.

I hadn't been home in nearly four years. As I approached the cottage it brought back memories and a feint smile appeared over my lips...but also drew out a few tears. The sight of it standing was bittersweet. I opened the door, expecting it to have been ransacked but it was exactly the way I had left it. A sigh of relief escaped my lips and I went to my room to prepare.

I packed a small bag, it had a few clothes, kunai and shiriken, and some rations in case I needed a snack. I put the bag on the dining table, then went to the bathroom to prepare the second part of my plan. Instead of using the transformation jutsu, I needed to do something more permanent. I dyed my light brown hair black, then cut my hair to change the style. It was still long and past my shoulders, however it no longer flowed past my hips. I layered it more and threw a side braid in to give it a little more character.

I normally wouldn't wear makeup but for my disguise it would be an important piece to the puzzle. I had cat-eye eyeliner and placed fake eyelashes to bring my lilac eyes to life, then I added a pink lipstick and lined my lips to make them fuller. When I was satisfied I packed the makeup in the bag and started to head out but when I opened the door... I was met with obsidian colored eyes. Itachi stood there without his gang coat, looking a bit perplexed. "You look...different." He was eyeing me up and down. "It's a little late to be heading out, don't you think?"

Blushing, I looked around before opening the door further to let him in. "Where's your friend?"

He gave me a sideways glance as he entered. "I wouldn't call Kisame a friend..." he sat on the loveseat and stared at me. "Where are you going?"

I closed the door and sighed. Here comes my interrogation. "I have to find out what's going on with me." I looked to the floor, nervous. "I have to break one of my promises to you to keep another..."

His eyebrow was slightly arched when I had the nerve to actually look at him. "Which one?" He asked.

I placed my bag down and slowly walked over and sat next to him. I gained the courage to lean my head on his shoulder and thought to myself. I wanted to answer him the best way that I could. I felt him tense.

...

Asking Shikara which promise she intended to break put a lot of strain on her. She came to sit down and he knew whatever it was, weighed on her because she leaned her head on his shoulder as she used to before the massacre of the clan.

"What do you plan to do?" He pressed.

She shifted and looked him in the eyes. He could tell that she was trying to find the right words. "Itachi-sama..." she finally said, "I have to know what the darkness is inside me and why it's there." She looked to the floor as she brought her knees up and held them. "I have to go back to the village to find answers...and if I don't figure this out..." she trailed off. She wasn't going to tell him what she planned to do if she couldn't free herself from the darkness inside.

Itachi knew what she meant to say was that she was breaking more than one promise and he glared at her, causing her to shrink back a little. She could get herself killed if she goes back and the promise he intended to keep with Shisui was beginning to look like it was breaking as well. "I won't let you go back, Shikara."

She eyed him for a while, it looked like she wanted to protest but she knew that it doesn't work out well when she does. Shikara settled further into the couch and calmed herself. "I'm sorry, Itachi, if I'm going to live the best life possible, I need to find a way to get rid of this thing." She looked sad and worried. "I'm becoming a monster who can't control herself." Her eyes met his. "I refuse to just let this go any further or innocent people will get hurt." A small tear slipped. "I won't be able to forgive myself if that happens."

Itachi knew that feeling and gave a small sigh of relief because he wasn't sure before if she had fully been taken over or not. Her response was proof that his angel was still alive and well inside that soul of hers. "I'll help you where I can but I will not let you go to Konoha. Though you look much different now with your disguise," he was looking at her hair, "you're still very much you. You would walk right into Danzo's trap."

...

My eyes narrowed at the sound of Danzo's name. I would love to have his head. I put a hand over my face. "Yes, that's a good point, however it's not my own life I fear for if Danzo and I cross paths again."

Itachi stared at me. She went dark again.

I peeked at him through fingers. "What?"

His eyes narrowed. "You have no control over yourself when put in bad situations. You're not going."

He wouldn't let me if I tried and because Itachi wasn't exactly gentle anymore, I'd hate to find out how far he would go to make sure I wouldn't go. A shiver ran up my spine, thinking about it and he noticed.

A sly smirk appeared on his lips. "Were you just considering on going anyways?"

I quickly shook my head and nervously laughed while putting my hands up defensively. "Quite the opposite, actually." I wasn't about to defy him to his face. This was his new version of being 'nice.'

"How did you manage this whole time?" He poked me on the forehead, causing me to blush.

This time, I had a soft smile as I watched him for a moment. That gentle guardian is still in there...somewhere. I blinked a few times before getting up. "I guess I'll just make dinner if I'm being banned from going." I headed to the kitchen and grinned back at him. He was watching me curiously, like I had something up my sleeve. "You're welcome to stay." I said this meaning more than just inviting him to stay for dinner. I didn't want him to leave, either. The group of people he hung around were sketchy.

...

There was still something about her that caused him to feel normal. She was the only one in the world who could. Shikara didn't view him in a way that constantly reminded him of what he's done or even as a threat...mostly. She had moments of doubt and even small traces of fear but she talked to him and even dared to address him so normally that he almost showed a different side in front of Kisame that only Shikara continues to see. He watched as she prepared a meal and had to close his eyes to keep himself composed. Her cheerful nature continued even now to move him in ways that he hadn't thought possible.

She turned to him several times like she was going to say something and then would turn back to what she was doing. Itachi narrowed his eyes at this as she did it again. She then turned again and blushed. Itachi couldn't take it anymore. "Is there something you would like to say, Shikara?"

She touched her fingertips together nervously and peered down at the floor. "Um...well...do all of you wear nail polish? Does it signify anything or is it just a part of the look?" She was now looking him dead in the eyes, completely serious about this random question.

Itachi didn't realize that as he examined the polish that he, too, had turned slightly pink. He looked up at her again as she began to giggle, almost uncontrollably.

...

Watching him examine his nails and turn slightly pink...I just can't. I mean could you imagine someone who killed an entire clan applying polish to his toe nails every other day? Does he enjoy doing it? Keeping my cool after the question took him off guard...and that was hilarious. I closed my eyes and wiped a few tears away.

Suddenly I felt someone behind me and gasped, petrified. Itachi was definitely not on the couch anymore. I felt arms slowly snake around my waist and his head rest on my shoulder. In a soft tone his voice rumbled through the air. "Is there an issue with a man wearing polish as a part of a uniform?"

"N-no..." I squeaked, turning red and feeling a cold sweat come on. "It...pulls the outfit together nicely..." I glanced at the side of his face. "The polish really gives off a 'serious' vibe." I was terrified of upsetting him but I started to giggle again, a hand over my mouth to try to suppress it.

He squinted at me before flipping me around and I was pinned between the sink and him. His face was inches from my own and a dark smile spread across his lips. I should have taken this as a warning but a few more giggles escaped.

Oh, god...this isn't how I wanted to go.