Many of the backstories in the social links of V3 were completely bonkers, and only made sense in the context of a reality show that had long stopped taking itself seriously. And we're gonna make fun of that here. Disclaimer: I don't own Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or Danganronpa.

Jojolion Chapter 34: Ridiculous Backstories

Himiko was excited to see her own student lab, which was much more expansive than the old one. Meanwhile, Shuichi and Maki found Kirumi in her own lab, which had a little more than just a dining area and laundry. There was also a small kitchen off to the side. "Ah, hello there," Kirumi said as she walked out of said kitchen. "So I guess you're skilled at cooking as well," Maki noted. "Not as much as Teruteru," Kirumi admitted, "But I can satisfy my clients. That said, he had offered me some tips on improving myself in that regard. Though I did warn him that if he used that as an excuse to try anything perverted he would receive swift punishment."

She chuckled. "He hastily admitted he would never do that after what happened with some sort of fiasco involving his nikujaga, though he wouldn't go into details." "Seems like you'd be good at almost anything," Shuichi noted. "Anything involving a maid's duties," Kirumi clarified, "Mostly relegated to cleaning, laundry, and some light cooking. To ask anything higher than that would be unprofessional. Though if my client and I were involved in a relationship..." She blushed lightly. Shuichi chuckled. "It's just... Your counterpart from our world was supposed to be so good that she could essentially run an entire country."

Kirumi couldn't help but laugh at that. "Run a country? I get that being a politician is as much a civil service as being a maid, but they're on completely different levels. Politicians are meant to lead, while a maid is a position of servitude. Not to mention I'm only sixteen and don't know the first thing about politics." "Yeah, our world is kinda messed up," Maki said, "Though I wish I could see if our actions had any impact." Kirumi's eyes suddenly glowed white before returning to normal. "A peak into another reality? I can arrange that. Genie in a Bottle!"

The two friends gasped as smoke seemed to come from nowhere, from which emerged a young female humanoid in Arabian dress. "My Stand activates when someone makes a request proceeded by the words 'I wish'," Kirumi explained, "From there I can instantly read their mind and know what it is they want. I could potentially twist their wish on them if I feel they are less than reputable, however. In fact, I can even use my powers on myself. Speaking of which..." Genie in a Bottle conjured a window that peered into Shuichi and Maki's world.

To their relief, there were suddenly protest signs in front of Team Danganronpa headquarters, news feeds of families who had lost sons and daughters to the Killings Games, and many fans outraged that the deaths they enjoyed were actually real and feeling dirty for enjoying them. "It look like things will be just fine over there," Maki said, "But it's not really our world anymore." "Yeah," Shuichi said, "So we should just focus on this one, and what we can do to help it."


Himiko shivered when she entered Gonta's student lab. She still remembered the ill-fated "Insect Meet and Greet". She had been completely covered in bugs during that incident. It had taken her multiple showers to feel clean again. "I'm guessing you don't like bugs," came Gonta's voice. Himiko was shocked for a number of reasons. First, and most obvious, was Gonta suddenly sneaking up on her despite his size. Then there was the fact that he spoke in the first-person instead of third-person, and seemed to be more fluent in Japanese. Finally, he wasn't flipping out at the idea of Himiko not liking insects.

"This is very different from the Gonta I remember," she noted. When Gonta heard the whole story, he folded his arms. "I've never really heard of these so-called 'Reptites'. It's true I was raised in the mountains when I got lost, but it was by an Asian clan of Gigans." "Then you're probably just as strong as the Gonta I knew," Himiko said, "He was able to lift up an iron manhole cover with two fingers! Then he threw it about 5 meters away as casually as a frisbee!" "That does sound strong," Gonta said, "I've never had to lift a manhole cover, but I've lifted equally heavy rocks and logs while looking for bugs."

Himiko then noticed some glowing bugs in an insect cage nearby. "What are those?" "Careful," Gonta said, "That's my Stand, Adam Ant. A colony of one-thousand bugs capable of slowly eroding living flesh, animal and plant alike. I can barely control it, they only respond to simple commands, and they tend to attack the nearest living thing besides me unless I direct them otherwise. That's why I keep them in this insect cage. It keeps them docile until I need them. To be honest, this power scares me. For someone as gentle as me, to have such a terrifying power is..." "I understand," Himiko said, "But Mister Kakyoin says not all Stands represent a person's personality. It's how your fighting spirit manifested. So you don't gotta worry!" Gonta smiled. "Thanks Himiko."


Shuichi entered Ryoma's student lab. He couldn't help but smile at seeing the Ultimate Tennis Pro actually practicing his talent, using what was clearly the Shukuchi Method to keep up with the tennis machine. He also noticed Ryoma's racket was glowing and had spikes on it. Suddenly the energy from the racket transferred to the ball, slamming into the wall hard enough to leave a dent in it. Ryoma then noticed Shuichi. "Oh hey. Sorry for the display, I was practicing my skills. And my Stand." "So that racket's your Stand then," Shuichi noted.

"Payable on Death," Ryoma replied, "It can easily reflect any physical projectile, storing kinetic energy as it does. Once it has enough, I can transfer that energy to the next projectile I reflect, returning it to sender with twice the force. But it can't do this automatically. Much of it comes down to my own skill, hence the training. Even if that fails, it has spikes for a reason." He dissipated his Stand. "I heard a little about the other me you met. It's a serious tearjerker. Luckily I never got caught up in something like that. Granted I'm not sure what would've happened if I did, but..."

He opened the door to his shower room, which Shuichi noted looked like a normal shower room. "Anyway," Ryoma said, "You're starting to look a lot better." "Really?," Shuichi asked. "Yeah, before there was a lot of confusion in your eyes," Ryoma explained, "But that seems to have disappeared. Maybe you're starting to get used to this new reality." "I won't lie, it's a little strange," Shuichi admitted, "But at the same time, that might not be a bad thing." Ryoma nodded. "Good to hear. And remember you can always talk to us if you feel lost. We're like family now, and family looks out for each other."

Now Adam Ant is another Stand from The 7th Stand User, but there are the Stands for Kirumi and Ryoma.

Genie in a Bottle (Song by Christina Aguilera)
User: Kirumi Tojo
Ability: While Genie in a Bottle's physical form can be summoned at any point for combat, its true ability activates when anyone, even Kirumi herself, makes a request preceded by the words "I wish". Kirumi can then instantly read the person's mind to understand the wish, though she doesn't have to do so for herself for obvious reasons. In the case of other people, she has the option of twisting the wish if she feels they are undeserving, or going above and beyond with the wish if she feels they are.
Power: B
Speed: A
Range: C
Durability: B
Precision: A
Potential: A

Payable on Death (POD, American Christian Nu Metal Band)
User: Ryoma Hoshi
Ability: Taking the form of a spiked tennis racquet, Ryoma can use his stand to reflect any physical projectiles, regardless of size. When he does so his Stand stores a bit of kinetic energy relative to the size and velocity of the projectile. With enough stored up he can then transfer that energy to another reflected projectiles, launching it with twice the force back at whoever fired it to begin with. The energy will dissipate on its own over time if not consistently stored. It should be noted that while the Stand relies heavily on Ryoma's skills as the Ultimate Tennis Pro to work effectively, it can be swung for physical attacks that are rather effective.
Power: B
Speed: C
Range: A
Durability: B
Precision: B
Potential: C

On a side note, my story is quickly becoming the largest Jojo project on the net. Vanishing Act had a littler over 610,000 words. I've already surpassed that over the course of several stories in this series, and we're barely even half over. Read and review.