III
I can't light no more of your darkness Too late to save myself from falling Don't let the sun go down on me
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me
"Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me", Elton John
Dan dropped Blair off shortly after midnight. They were "dating", but neither of them had done more than kiss the other on the cheek. Right now, they were two close friends, enjoying some time together, nothing more. Neither wanted more than that, if they were honest, but they always had a blast together.
Blair hung up her jacket, then walked into the dining room, seeing a piece of paper on the table. She quickly picked it up.
Blair, hey, I headed back to The Bronx. I had some disagreements with my folks, and I need to straighten it out. I probably won't be back til Monday. It won't kill me missing one day of class! Talk to ya later, Princess. XO, Jo
"Hmpf", Blair let out. "I guess we'll talk about what's going on later, then."
She didn't think anything more of it. Having no plans for Sunday, she decided she would call Mrs. Garrett, and see if she could get together with her second mom, and maybe see Tootie and Natalie as well. She hadn't kept in touch with them as much as she would have liked, but they were always going to be her other family. She smiled at the thought as she readied for bed.
"Blair!"
Edna Garrett, owner of Edna's Edibles in Peekskill, and former house mother at Eastland, opened her arms wide to one of her former students that she loved so much. "You've been away too long, young lady!"
Blair melted into the hug from her second mother. Truth be told, Blair felt Mrs. Garrett, also known as "Mrs. G. by many, was more a mother to her than her biological mother, Blair Warner. Mrs. Garrett had helped Blair grow immensely, shedding much of her snobbish behavior that she had brought with her to Eastland, lo so many years ago, and had allowed her to discover there was more to the world than money. Blair had to admit that Jo had also influenced her greatly in that regard.
"Mrs. Garrett!" Blair gave a kiss on the cheek to her mentor. "I'm so sorry I've been so scarce this school year. It isn't by design, but, well, the real world is knocking on the door."
Before Edna could get another word out, the two women heard loud footfalls coming down the steps.
"Blair!"
"Oh my God, Blair!"
Natalie Green and Dorothy "Tootie" Ramsey almost ran Blair over as the older girl opened her arms to two of her best friends.
"Nat! Tootie!" Blair laughed delightedly as they both hugged her simultaneously, kissing them both on the cheeks. "Let me see you guys!" Natalie still looked pretty much the same, but Blair noticed she had lost some weight. But Tootie...Tootie was no longer the little girl Blair had met a few years back. She was growing up, and fast.
"God, you two look fantastic", Blair gushed, folding them into another hug. "I guess I can't really call you Tootie any longer, Dorothy", she said wink. "Gosh, you've grown up this year!"
Tootie gave her a dismissive wave of her hand. "Blair, I'll always be Tootie to you, don't sweat it." She hugged her older friend once more.
"Hey girls", Mrs. G said as the tumult died down, "I've got some fried chicken in here, why don't you sit down while I serve it?"
"We'll help you, Mrs. G", Natalie said, looking at Tootie expectantly.
"Yeah, right, the good old days are back, waiting hand and foot on Blair." Dorothy rolled her eyes, but smiled at the blonde, who laughed.
"The more things change, the more they stay the same", Natalie said in agreement.
"Yeah, tell me about it."
In a few moments all four were at the table in the apartment above Edna's Edibles. The younger girls caught Blair up on their comings and goings, Mrs. Garrett telling her the business was doing well. It warmed Blair's heart to be back with her dear friends. She amended that statement in her head: they were family, not just friends, and she loved them as such.
When the younger girls had their fill of catching Blair up, it was Natalie-ever the budding journalist-who asked Blair the obvious question.
"So where's your sidekick, Warner?" Natalie's eyebrows wrinkled up and down. "I thought if you came, Jo would be here, too. We haven't seen her much, either."
"If she were here, Nat, I think there's no doubt she would have come. She's in The Bronx this weekend at her folks."
Mrs. Garrett sensed Blair wasn't telling them everything. "Something is bothering you about that, isn't it, Blair?"
The blonde smiled at Mrs. Garrett. "I can never hide anything from you, can I?" Blair became serious. "I'm not sure. Jo left Friday afternoon after our last class, and was supposed to come back this evening. Last night, I was getting ready for a date with Dan, and Jo had come back home."
They all noticed the troubled look on Blair's face.
"What happened, Blair?"
Blair turned to Tootie, then looked at the others. "I don't know, but Jo looked like hell, pardon my French. She had been crying. Her eyes were read and sallow, her cheeks red as beets. But what really freaked me out is the expression on her face-she looked frightened, and almost devastated, if you ask me."
"She hasn't talked to you about it?"
"No, Nat", Blair admitted. "When I got home last night, Jo had left me a note saying she had gone back to The Bronx, and would be back some time on Monday."
"Trouble with her folks, perhaps?"
"It could be, Mrs. Garrett. But I've never seen Jo look so lost." She lowered her eyes for a moment, then looked back up. "I'm really worried about her, guys."
Jo had indeed gone back to The Bronx, but not to visit any of her family or her usual friends. There was one friend that she knew would never turn her back on her, and she went to stay with him. Steve Gregory was about three years older than Jo. They had become friends a number of years back, and had remained close, although few people knew it.
Steve was gay, something he had told Jo a long time ago. Jo had confessed to him back in the day that she was a lesbian, and the two had always kept an eye out for each other, both knowing what would happen if the area they lived in ever found out about their sexual orientation. They knew it was trouble.
She had confided to Steve about what had occurred with her parents that morning, and the reaction from Jesse and other members of her family. Steve already knew how much Jo loved Blair Warner, and her secret had stayed within him, knowing how important that was to Jo.
She didn't want anything from Steve, save a place to stay Saturday and Sunday night, but she did have a request of him.
"You still friends with that guy who does forgeries?"
Like Jo, Steve had once been in a gang, but had pulled himself out of that life, for obvious reasons, but he still had connections.
"Yeah, why?"
"Can you contact him, and see if on Monday we can go in and get me a forged Driver's License?"
"Yeah, we can do that." Steve eyed Jo carefully. "What's going on, Polniaczek?"
"I can't tell you Steve. The less you know, the better. You already know my family has thrown me under the bus. I can't go any further than that. Can you do this for me?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I can do that, Jo. You know I've always got your back."
Monday morning before heading over to his contact's apartment, Jo had Steve drive her to a branch of the bank that her emergency funds had been stashed in by her parents. Through some of the jobs she had had while in Peekskill, Jo had added to the amount over the last five years-not a lot, but it wasn't what she considered chump change, either.
Before going in, she went to the ATM machine out front, to make sure again that the account hadn't been closed. She was twenty-one, and while that meant that the account was hers, she had been worried her parents would get to it and keep her away from it.
She asked the teller than the account be closed, the teller informing her that there was $7,371 in the account. The tell her looked at her skeptically when Jo asked for it in cash, and not a check, but the teller put the transaction through without another thought.
Jo put the money in her purse, which had a zipped compartment, then she walked out of the bank. She then asked Steve to take them back to his place before going over to get the fake ID.
Jo excused herself, going into one of the two bathrooms. Steve wondered what she was up to, as she was in there for forty-five minutes. When she emerged, Steve had to do a double take: Jo had cut her hair very short, and had dyed it a sandy blonde shade, far removed from her long hair and her natural dark brown hair color.
"Jo", he said, with some conviction behind his voice, "you're up to somethin. If I didn't know you had walked into the bathroom, I wouldn't know it was you comin' out of it. You don't change your looks for no reason, kid."
"Steve, again, you know I love ya, but please, don't ask any questions. Let's go get the phony ID, and then I'll be outta your hair, okay?"
Steve didn't like it, but nodded. He wouldn't betray his friend.
It didn't take long once they were at his friend's place for Jo to have the fake license. The photo with her new look was on it. It was valid for four years from the birth date that had been included. It wasn't Jo's real birthday, and it wasn't Jo's name that adorned the Oregon Driver's License. Jo didn't plan to have to use it for four years.
After they left, she and Steve had a quiet lunch, then Jo told him it was time for her to leave. Steve had an idea what Jo was doing, but again didn't comment. Jo's family had just thrown her under the proverbial bus, and he wasn't about to to that himself.
He saw Jo to the door as she went to take her leave. "Jo, I don't know exactly what you're up to, but I know it's a big deal", he said sadly. "Whatever is going on, you take care of yourself, you hear me?"
She gave Steve a sudden, fierce hug, tears starting to come out of her eyes, not wanting to let go of her friend. She knew once she drove away, she was taking an irrevocable turn in her life, and needed the comfort for a few more minutes.
When she finished, she smoothed out his shirt, that had her tears on it. "You look after yourself, too, Steve. You know I'll always love ya. Oh, by the way, can you mail this letter maybe on Wednesday?"
He looked at the name and address on the letter, his heart skipping a beat, then he bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Jo turned, again without a backward glance, and closed the door behind her.
"Vaya con dios, my friend", he said in a whisper to himself.
That Evening
Blair was concerned when she arrived home from classes that afternoon, with Jo still not anywhere to be found. When she arrived, she did notice there was one message on the answering machine. She hit "play".
"Hey, Princess, it's me, Jo. I'm gonna be here for until the end of the week, as there's some issues with my folks. If you could make sure to get the homework assignments, I'll make sure to get up to speed when I'm back, Okay. Stay outta trouble, blondie!"
For the rest of the week, Blair tried to get through the week without her best friend. But Blair Warner was damn worried. Something wasn't right. She could feel it.
Friday Afternoon
Blair came home from her classes that day, hoping that Jo would show up, so she could stop worrying. As was her routine, she grabbed the mail in the enclosed box in the lobby of their complex, and went back up to their apartment.
Blair changed her clothes, and, as with her normal routine, put on a fresh pot of coffee, then sitting down with a cup, drinking the dark liquid while reading the mail.
There were some bills, and credit card offers for both she and Jo, those being quickly discarded. The last envelope was hand-written, with Blair's name on it, but no return address. She did notice the postage mark said "New York City."
It took her a moment, looking at the handwriting, trying to place it. Then, like a load of bricks falling on her, it suddenly hit her. "That's Jo's handwriting", she exclaimed out loud. Blair tore into the envelope, unfolding the paper, and reading the contents:
Blair;
By the time you get this, I don't know where I'll be. I'm sorry I had to lie to you about what was going on this week, but I didn't feel I had a choice. I know you're wondering what's going on with me, so let me explain it.
"This past weekend, Ma, Pa, and I had it out. For years now, they've known something about me, that few others know, but have never accepted, and that's the fact that I'm a lesbian. I've told you about Gloria, and how she killed herself, but what I never told you is that we had become close-we never did more than kiss-but it was enough that her mom went nuts, as did mine, and since that time, Ma and Pa have tried to 'correct' who I am.
"I finally admitted to them this week that I ain't gonna change. I am who I am. Then they dropped the hammer on me. They won't pay for their share of school any longer for me; and they've already gone to Father Kowolski at our Church, and begun the process to have me excommunicated. They even admitted one reason they sent me to Eastland was to find a guy at Bates or, later, at Langley
"What's worse, after you left for your date the other night, I got calls from Jesse, Pauley, and even my Uncle Sal, all three of them pretty much disowning me as well. That's why I looked like hell when I saw you last Saturday.
"But there's more, Blair. It's gonna be hard for you to hear it, but I have to come clean with you. I'm not coming back. By the time you get this, I don't know where I'll be, but I'm not coming back. It's nothing you did. It's because of the fact, that for the last four years, I've hidden the fact that you are the one I'm in love with, and who holds my heart, and you always will. I know you're not a lesbian, blondie, and I just couldn't live with you any longer, knowing that I've been disowned by my family, and still having to live a lie with you.
"My heart is shattered, Blair. I've never felt so alone, and so worthless in my life, but always remember this: I love you more than my own life. Please, please, please, don't come looking for me. By the time you get this, I'm pretty sure there won't be a trail for you to find me, but I have to do this. Hell, I don't even know what I'm doing yet, but I can't come back.
"Despite what I've told you, I hope you don't hate me, and will always have some love for me in your heart. You're the best friend I've ever had, but it's too painful to see you now, with me knowing how much I love you.
"I'll carry you in my heart all the days of my life.
"I love you-ALWAYS, Jo."
