Chapter 34

They laid in bed together, once again in their little room, as the flames in the fireplace danced, and the snowy white blanket laid at their feet.

He had his arm snaked around her waist, and kept her close to his chest. His chin rested in her hair, as she vibrated against his hold, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Granger…"

Suddenly, she moved, rising up in a sitting position, pulling him up with her. They sat cross legged and across from each other, but stayed close, as their fringes touched.

"They killed my parents...and now I want to kill them. I've never wished for anyone to be dead...but they have to die. They took them from me. They might as well have taken me too...then I wouldn't have to live like this. Without them."

"Granger don't fucking say that—"

"It's because of me...I should have known earlier. They did it to get to Harry...they used my parents. It's like two pieces of my heart were just ripped away."

"Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, Hermione." he said softly, intentionally using her first name. "When is the funeral?"

"It's tomorrow. Early in the morning." she said, her voice cracking.

"Come here after. Come to me, Granger. Don't...don't do this shit. I don't like it. Just...come to me after."

When he noticed her nodding her head, he grabbed her forearms, and pulled her back down with him. Reaching down for the covers, he covered themselves, before snaking his arm back around Granger's waist, and pulling her forehead to his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, as he hummed words of encouragement into her ear, until she fell asleep.

It was just like always, yet so different. The position was familiar, but the odd feeling of the clothes in between them was not.

It was the first time he had voluntarily slept with her... without having sex.

He thought back to the last time they had done this, and remembered the night she had found him crying in the hospital wing, when he was recovering from Potter's curse.

She had been there for him then. He wouldn't leave her side now.

This would change things. He didn't know how, but it did.


When he woke up in the morning, she wasn't by his side.

She was probably at the funeral…

Forcing himself up, he rolled out of bed, and decided it would do him good to make an appearance in the Great Hall. Blaise would be suspicious if he hadn't shown up, and he needed a bit of a walk himself. Shrugging himself up, he casted a quick freshening charm on himself, before making his way out of the room.

As he walked through the mostly empty halls, he thought about everything that had happened to him over the past few months. Just a few months ago, he had wished Hermione...dead. He shuddered when he recalled that version of himself, as he walked on.

Ever since she had found him in the bathroom, something in him had changed. She somehow managed to crawl under his skin, and into his head. She challenged every thought, and very prejudice he had previously stood by, and had proved him wrong every single time.

No matter how hard he tried to look at her in the way he was supposed to, he simply couldn't. Fuck, he didn't even know what exactly he was supposed to do anymore. Granger did that.

He recalled the day they had fought in the trophy room, when her hand caught an edge and split open. Ruby liquid oozed out, as she met him with her fiery gaze.

How could one's blood be muddy anyways?

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be like this with Granger. They weren't good for each other. He wasn't good for her. She was too kind and innocent for him, and he knew it. He knew she was risking everything in sneaking around with him. Forgive a man for being selfish, because he couldn't come to push her away.

He had gotten too used to seeing her smile every morning when they woke up together, in an entanglement of limbs. He ached to have those educational conversations with her, and pay attention to every detail of her body. When she made an argument, he always noticed that her brows shot up, and the glimmer in her eyes immediately became ten times more prominent.

He wished he could hate her. He wished he could say he despised muggle borns. He wished he didn't have to deal with the inevitable pain of separation.

He had gotten too used to her presence. Too attached to her.

The truth of it all was that Hermione was standing at the entrance of the door to his heart. Over all the months they had been intimate, she had slowly made her way there.

And it was only up to him, whether he'd let her in or not.


"Hermione. Please. Talk to us."

Ever since they had come back from her parents' funeral, Harry and Ron had been trying to get their best friend to speak. Make a sound. Show some sort of expression on her face.

But she didn't.

She hadn't even cried when they had been there. Her face had been emotionless and still, from the moment she laid her eyes on the coffins.

Suddenly, she rose from her seat, seemingly thinking of something, as she picked up her bag.

"Hermione, where are you—"

"I need to be alone right now."

"Are you sure?" questioned Ron. "Don't you think it would be good to—"

"No. I need some space, Ronald. I'm sorry. I'll return later on."

And with that, her face just as stoic as it had been before, she made her way to the Room of Requirement.


Oddly enough, Blaise hadn't been present at breakfast. He'd have to ask him about what later on.

He turned the corner on the seventh floor, making his way to the Room of Requirement. Just as the door formed into his view, he saw her timidly walk up towards him.

She came.

He opened the door, and she entered without giving him a glance. Cold. Emotionless. Unfeeling.

She made her way to the couch beside the fireplace, and seated herself stiffly, staring into the flames.

Taking a deep breath, he approached her, calmly placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Granger, talk to me."

No response.

Slowly moving in front of her, he kneeled down, placing his arms on her lap, tilting her chin down to face him.

"Granger I know how you feel—"

"Do you?" she said, breaking her silence. Her state was icy, as her nails dug into the fabric of her seat.

"Do you really?"

"Granger—"

"YOUR PARENTS AREN'T DEAD! HOW DO YOU FUCKING KNOW?"

He felt his patience being tested, but kept his composure.

"You're crossing the line now—"

"THEY DIDN'T KILL YOUR PARENTS—"

"THEY COULD ANY FUCKING MOMENT! MY PARENTS ARE AS GOOD AS—"

And before he could complete his sentence, she jumped on him.

She knocked his balance, as they both rolled onto the carpet. Her mouth attacked his with fierce nips, as he responded almost immediately, with the same aggression. She was on top of him, as his elbows rested on the ground, all of his energy going into kissing her back.

When he stopped for a second, and moved to pull back, Hermione immediately grabbed his face and pulled him right back to her, clawing at him with a sense of desperation.

"I'm sorry." kiss "I'm sorry." kiss "I'm sorry." kiss.

He moved up into a sitting position, grabbing her waist, and pulled them both up to a standing position, never once breaking the kiss.

Her legs hiked up his waist, as she nipped and sucked with a need burning in her. It was the type of kiss where their teeth scraped against each other, and they each left bruises. But that was okay.

He carried her to the bed, while she pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his clothing. Reaching for the zip on his pants, she quickly pulled them down, leaving him clad in his boxers.

His hands found the buttons on her shirt, as he undid them and then latched onto her chest.

She let out a moan, as she undid the clasp of her own bra, throwing it to the side. She pushed Draco off of her, and climbed on top instead. Her hands yanked down his boxers, leaving him bare, before pulling down her underwear as well.

With a look of desperation Hermione seldom showed, she kissed him one last time, before allowing him to fill her, hearing Draco let out a hiss.

She gestured for him to pound into her as hard as he could, wrapping her arms around his neck. She needed the friction. She needed the heat.

Dipping down to allow their foreheads to touch, Hermione simply let out all everything she had within her. Everything that had been bubbling up, finally popping.

They moved with no grace. They were rough and feral, beads of sweat trickling down their foreheads. He felt her nails dig into his back, but he didn't mind. He knew she needed it.

That day was all about her. Just her.

A single, lone tear rolled down her cheek, as Hermione clutched onto Draco for her life. She felt that similar tingling feeling right below her navel, and the same bubble of lust build up inside her, daring to pop at any moment.

With one swift motion, Draco changed their position, putting himself on top. He moved without the sense of establishing a rhythm, his tongue moving over the scar on her neck, as he felt himself come close to his finish.

But that didn't matter. It wasn't about him. It was about her finish. Her desperation. Her need.

With two more thrusts, she finally unraveled, shaking in an ungrateful heap beneath him, as she finally felt everything that had been bottled up inside her for months, escape.

He allowed himself three more selfish thrusts, before he too, came to his finish, filling her up.

Plopping down beside her, his arm reached to pull her close to him, before closing his eyes, panting heavily.

"Draco," Hermione began, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said—"

"I know, Granger. It's okay."

"Draco?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for that."


"It's crazy to me how they've only been gone for a few days...yet I'm here, doing supposedly nothing."

"That's not true. You're trying your best in whatever you do, and continuing to be the bright witch you are. Granger, you might think they're not here, but they'll always be with you, as shadows. Don't you dare fucking blame yourself for anything, because it's not your fault."

His words made her smile for the first time in days, as she turned the page on the book they were reading together.

The breeze blew past them, as Hermione pressed herself deeper into Draco's warmth. He saw her movement, and wrapped his arms around her even more tightly. In the move to do so, his sleeve suddenly moved up, revealing his dark mark. Draco quickly reached to hide it from her vision, but she stopped him.

Gently taking his arm in her hold, she pulled up his sleeve even more, making his mark even more visible. Her fingers glided over it, as he slowly leaned into her touch, his stiffness disappearing.

They'd never discussed his mark after their meeting in the bathroom. She had always ignored it, sensing his discomfort surrounding the topic, but for some reason, she was willing to cross boundaries today.

She put her book aside, and leaned down to place a kiss on his forearm, as she watched the snake move.

"Granger, don't." he said, pulling away.

"This isn't who you are. It doesn't mean anything."

"That's not what your friends think," he scoffed.

"They don't know the Draco I know."

She moved to crane her neck, and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"And who exactly would that be?"

"The Draco I know is so much better than the man everyone knows him to be. He's kind, and caring. He might have a rough exterior, but inside, he's something completely different. I've seen that, Draco. You've shown it to me."

He sighed, not knowing how to respond. He ran his fingers through his icy blonde hair, staring out into the mountains in front of him.

"How can you be so confident I've changed in any way? How do you know about what I believe in and don't?"

"I just do."

"How—"

"Draco tell me, do you hate me?"

"What?"

"Do you hate me?"

"What kind of dumb fucking question is—"

"You don't. Quite the contrary, actually—but that's not the point. You were able to break past that barrier, Draco. Of not hating me."

"You're the only one—"

"I knew you would say that." she smiled. "Draco, do you actually still believe that my kind is inferior to yours? That muggleborns are dirty? That I'm dirty?"

His words died in his throat, as he couldn't come up with a response.

Did he?

Finally, he let it out.

"No."

He couldn't see her face, but knew she was smiling like a complete fool. She entwined their fingers, holding onto his hand, as she hummed against the breeze.

"Draco...remember what I told you about all the different shades of grey?"

"Mhm."

"I know you're still...confused. I know this is hard for you. But...a war is coming. You know that, right?"

"Mhm."

"You need to pick a side."

His heart immediately felt heavy, and his stomach twisted.

"Granger—"

"You don't have to tell me now. Just like you don't have to tell me about your task. I trust you, Draco. I know you won't do anything stupid. But...as much as we would like to pretend that time isn't moving...everything is slipping away from us. Take my help, Draco. I don't want you to get hurt...and I don't want you to fight with them."

"I won't."

"You won't what?"

"I won't fight with them." he breathed out.

She smiled the biggest smile she had smiled in months, before leaning over to give him a slow kiss. Pulling back, she rested her head on the crook of his neck, before speaking once more.

"Who did they tell you to kill?"

"What? Granger…"

"Who did they tell you to kill, Draco? Tell me and I can help you...please."

He leaned down, and saw a single tear roll down her cheek, as she waited for his response.

Salazar, maybe it was the way she had said it, or perhaps it had been for the fact that she had cried, but even he didn't realize it when he had allowed the name to slip past his tongue.

"Dumbledore."


a/n: I know, a bit of a short chapter, but I think there were quite some significant events here. Next chapter will be longer, promise!

Uni has been stressful, but that's how it always is. However, amidst all the negativity around us, I've found solace in all the Bernie memes circulating the web. Absolutely amazing.

I've decided that coffee is officially my best friend. Such a life saver. Bless the person who created this magnificent drink.

I'm graduating this year! Has it really already been four years? Time flies insanely fast! To all my 2021 graduates, cheers! Time for another four years of school (hopefully, fingers crossed if I get accepted).

Please review and comment! I love them. Thank you to everyone who does, they really do make my day.

Love you guys,

Sydney.