I'll Be Home For Christmas

"So, I checked my schedule and I think I'll be able to come home for Thanksgiving," Ben said through a video call. Miranda muted her end, dropped her tablet and shouted for joy. Thankfully, she was home alone or else she'd have alarmed her five-year-old who was at her ex-husband's house for the week. "Miranda? Baby?"

"Yes!" she responded unmuting the call, staring at his handsome face. "I'm here."

He laughed. "Did you hear what I said?"

"I did."

"You didn't," he said catching her lie.

"Sure I did, but if you need to repeat it for your own sake, feel free." Wife and husband laughed together. It still felt unfamiliar that she was married again and had a husband, but not just any husband. Benjamin Warren was the man of her dreams. He broke through her tough exterior so easily with his warmth, his look, his touch. Miranda Bailey adored him. After her first marriage crumbled, she didn't think that she'd get another shot at love, but here she was starting over and loving every second of it.

"I said that I should be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas." Miranda's heart sank. They had only been married for seven months and in that time, she'd only seen him a few times since he started his residency in L.A. while she continued her career in Seattle. And now, they had to decide which major holiday he was going to be home for.

"Both."

"Baby, I can't be there for both." She watched the picture shake as he chuckled.

"Tuck is going with Tucker for Thanksgiving. He'll be with me for Christmas. So, if I say Thanksgiving, then we'll miss our first Christmas together. And we don't get to watch movies together and you don't get to see Tuck open his gifts," she sighed, "I don't want that."

He sighed. "Me either."

"Then again, if we skip Thanksgiving and decide on Christmas and you don't show up…" Miranda's voice trailed off and she stared at her husband. He was already looking at her and he winked, making her sinking heart rise. And even though they were on the phone, she sent him a text message: I love you.

"I know. It's a tough decision. I want to see you guys."

"And you can't do both?" She asked, poking out her bottom lip.

He groaned. "Don't make that face."

"Please?"

"Miranda, you're making a tough decision harder." She poked her lip out more, knowing that if she did it long enough, he might give in. "I'll see what I can do." He tapped the phone. "But I might have to give up a kidney or something."

"Whatever it takes, hon," she said as her phone buzzed with an incoming text from Ben: I love you so much.

"I gotta go." She nodded. "But if I can't manage to get both, which…"

"Christmas."

The day before Thanksgiving, Tuck was picked up by his uncle, leaving Miranda available to work during the holiday. At lot of people hated to work on Thanksgiving, but to her, it was the day of perpetual foolishness. Over the years, she'd performed so many interesting surgeries and received so many gifts from grateful families that she actually enjoyed going in. And today was no different. The first patient was a guy had been stabbed by his wife because she didn't like the way he was carving the turkey. She'd laughed through that one, reminding herself to relay the tale to Ben. He'd get a kick out of it. Then, she assisted on surgery with a guy who had fallen from his roof while putting up Christmas decorations. It had taken two surgeries to stop the bleeding in his brain. When he heard his wife and children, he woke up smiling. That had made Miranda shed a few tears. They would be together for Christmas. Hopefully, her family would be able to do the same.

Appreciative that yesterday Miranda had whipped up something the night before, tonight Miranda warmed it up in the oven and changed before calling Ben. When he didn't answer, a part of her got really upset until she remembered the calls she'd missed while she was in surgery. Having a long-distance relationship was not ideal especially at the start of a marriage, but they'd promised to compromise and so she did. She yielded which she'd rarely done in her previous marriage. Then again, Tucker was nothing like her Ben. For over a decade, her former husband expected her to put her dreams on the backburner. He wanted to strongarm Miranda into a life that she hadn't signed up for and when she didn't accept it, he used it as an excuse to cheat. But Ben… he pushed her toward her goals, he was her biggest fan and encouraged her every step of the way. Miranda was really in love with him and couldn't see the next sixty years of her life without him.

Her phone buzzed and when she saw her husband's name, she began grinning. She was so happy. Miranda accepted the call: "Happy Thanksgiving, babe!" She propped the phone up as she ate.

"Happy Thanksgiving, my love," Ben responded. "What are you doing?"

"Eating Thanksgiving dinner."

"Yeah? What are you eating?" She told him. "And who made it?"

"I made it, goof!"

"Let me see." The man worked her nerves, but made her smile so hard. "I'm impressed. And you made it?"

"Get off my phone," Miranda laughed. "Yes, I made it." She saw that he was lying in an on-call room. "What are you having for dinner?"

He burped loudly. "Excuse me, uh, someone ordered some food from somewhere and I'm still trying to get it down." She made a face. "That face is how I feel. I wish I were there with you."

Silence filled the hole in their conversation. She'd wished for that exact thing. She wished that he wasn't in LA and that he was closer to her. She needed her husband. That was a reason she wanted to get married, so that she'd have someone to come home to. Saying this would really put a damper on the mood, so Miranda finished eating and changed the subject, going into their room that was mostly hers now because he was never there to use it. "But we'll see you for Christmas, right?"

"Yes, I will be there."

Kicking off her slippers, she got into bed. "Do you still have two kidneys?"

He nodded. "But I had to give up part of my liver." She shrugged and one side of her robe slid off. Ben bit the bottom of his lip. "Why are you making that face?"

"Tilt the phone, I want to see what you're wearing." She laughed and shook her head. "I can't even get a peek?"

"There's nothing to see."

"Let me be the judge of that."

She rolled her eyes, feigning disinterest. This was the moment she'd been waiting for. Phone sex. Miranda had always liked sex. And with her ex-husband it was performative and wildly unsatisfying. Though she hadn't known that because he'd been the only man she'd ever been with. But her first time with Ben had felt so good—the sexual monster inside of her had been awakened. Thankfully, their sex life hadn't faltered. It was remarkably different now, but still hot and frequent. "Are you alone?" Ben nodded. "Lock the door." She stood up an backed up a little so that he could see most of her body. Her stomach jumped as she untied her robe, letting it pool at her feet, revealing a two-piece lacy lingerie set that nearly matched her skin color. Miranda put her hands on her hips.

"Oh my God. Damn! Are you naked?"

"No," she said getting closer to phone. She lay back down.

"Is that for me?"

Miranda moved her head from side to side. "For us." She could hear him rustling. "Since you can't be here, I just have to show you what you're missing, Benjamin." Miranda slid a finger down her chest. "And it's been so long since you've touched me."

"Miranda…" He groaned.

"So," she gave an exaggerated sigh, "I've had to do it myself." It was so quiet between them, but she knew he was stroking himself and was more than turned on. With the softest touch, her legs opened. "Talk to me."

After they'd both come down from their highs, Miranda wrapped her now naked body in their comforter, smiling as she looked into her phone leaning against a pillow on his side of the bed. "That was good, babe," Ben said staring at her. He right there, but he wasn't and the thought really got her down.

"Yeah, it was."

"You're okay?"

Miranda smiled hoping to distract him from asking any more questions that would end in tears. "I'm fine," she said. "I'm just glad that we got to spend at least a little time together before—"

Ben disappeared for a second. "Babe, there's a big trauma coming in and they need me."

"Okay. And be patient and diligent when working."

"Alright."

"Love you."

He stopped moving. "I love you more than anything," he told her before blowing her a kiss. Miranda watched the call end and sighed, tears pricking her eyes. She'd held them in for so long. They fell and she wiped them away angrily. It really sucked that she'd finally found someone who was in love with her and she couldn't even be with them. It was laughable really. Was she crying because of sex? No, she could bring her own self to an orgasm. She was crying because her husband was not with her. It had been so long since they'd shared a physical space. And she wanted to share her life with him, not through calls and text messages.

Returning to the hospital two days later, Miranda's closest friend and colleague, Callie Torres, bounded over. "How was your Thanksgiving?" The tall Latina asked flipping through some papers.

"Nice and simple."

"Did Warren come into town? I didn't see him."

Miranda shifted her jaw. "He didn't."

"Sorry, Bailey," Callie said.

"Right. But at least he'll be here for Christmas."

Her friend's bright smile made her feel a little bit better. "That's great! I can't wait to see him."

"You think he's coming all the way home to see you?" Miranda asked with a knowing smile. The women laughed as Callie's phone buzzed.

"See you."

"Bye."

Tucker dropped their son off on the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. "Mommy!" The boy ran into her arms and she lifted him up, kissing his face.

"Oh, my baby!" She said smiling from ear to ear. This little boy was her guiding light. Whenever she felt like she couldn't do anymore or didn't want to, she thought about him and kept pushing. Because anything for him was worth the struggle. "Did you have fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house?"

"Yes!" He said in a high-pitched voice. "I got to see my cousins!"

"Really?" Tuck nodded. "I'm glad you had a good time," she told her son, kissing the top of his head. He hugged his father one time before running off to play.

"He had a really good time," Tucker said speaking for the first time. "And he already ate, but you know how he is, so he'll probably asked for something else."

The exes chuckled. "So, uh, how was it spending the holiday with Jaida and Tuck?"

"Like the boy said, it was great. Everybody was there. It was amazing." Miranda smiled politely. She knew Tucker didn't mean anything by it, but he was making her feel bad. Sensing that, he said: "Everyone asked about you."

"I know that must have been uncomfortable for Jaida."

"Well, thankfully, the only person who asked about you in front of her was a kid." They laughed. "How was your holiday? Did Ben come up?

Miranda looked down. "Um, it was good. Fine. And, no, he didn't. He had to work." Tucker raised an eyebrow. "What?" He inhaled and shook his head. "No, say whatever you want to say, Tucker Jones." Her hands went to her hips, defensively.

"I just know what it's like to not have the person you love home for holidays."

Running her tongue along the bottom row of her teeth stopped her from saying the first thing that came to mind. "I'm not complaining about it though," she told him through clamped teeth. "I understand. We're compromising."

Tucker held up his hands. "That wasn't a shot at you or your marriage, Miranda."

"Good."

"I… should probably run." Tucker gave her a smile and left.

Heat soared through her body thinki-ng about her conversation with her ex-husband. Where did Tucker come off implying—"Mommy!" Tuck called out to her from the second floor saying that her phone was ringing. He held it up. "It's Ben!" Hearing that, she began calming down. "Can I answer it?"

"Of course."

As she walked up the stairs, she heard Tuck's end of the conversation. Miranda was so happy and lucky that her son and husband got along. She'd heard horror stories of families not blending well and it was just one of many reasons why she hesitated when it came accepting Ben's proposal. But everything had been amazing. They loved each other instantly and Miranda thanked God for that. "She's coming."

Miranda took the phone from her son. "Hello?" He said.

"Hi, stranger," she replied walking into her room, leaving the door open. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say 'hi' to my wife."

Miranda sat down in the chair in the corner of the room, curling her legs beneath her. "Hello, husband," she said with a low voice that she knew he loved.

"What are you trying to do to me, huh?" Ben laughed in her ear.

She let out a laugh. "I'm just trying to remind you of what you're missing by not being here."

"Well, you don't have to. I am fully aware."

"What are you up to, hon?" She asked with a yawn.

He sighed. "I just wanted to call and see if you wanted to have a little bit of fun…" Her skin tingled. "But Tuck is there and awake, so maybe… later?"

"Maybe."

"You okay, Miranda?"

Not wanting to worry him, she forced a smile. "Tuck is fine. You're fine. So, I'm fine." As they talked, Miranda fixed dinner and afterwards put Tuck to bed. When she was in bed, she hit the video call button. She really wanted to see her husband's face. He answered and she saw that he was at home. "I miss your face."

"I miss you," Ben sighed. "I miss Tuck's face."

"His teeth are growing back."

"Aww, man. Take pictures for me, babe." Miranda promised that she would. "You've been really quiet tonight."

She cleared her throat and tried not to move her eyes too much, he'd be able to read her. "Just tonight," she laughed. "I had a long surgery last night."

"Oh yeah?" She nodded, closing her eyes. "Then get some rest."

"Don't go," she said softly.

"I'm not. I'm going to keep you company until you go to sleep."

"What about…"

"Just rest, babe. Alexa!" He called out activating the device on her nightstand. "Play 'My Baby's Playlist',

"What's this?" She asked yawning again. Looking at him, he had an eyebrow raised as one of her favorite songs played. "Aww."

"You like…?"

"I love."

The next week, she was sitting at her desk in her office, trying not to fall asleep when there was a knock on her closed door. "Dr. Bailey?" Miranda recognized the very familiar voice of her mentor and the Chief of Surgery, Richard Webber.

"Come in," she said spinning in her chair. The older man cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"I have a chole in 2 in twenty minutes."

Miranda made a face. "And that concerns me how?"

"Can you cover for me?"

"No."

"I can't do it. I need to get home or Adele is going to hit the roof."

She leaned back in her chair. "What's it worth to you?"

Richard crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"I'll let you know. Probably babysitting duties," she told him with a smile.

"That's no problem at all," he said clapping his hands. "Thank you, Bailey."

She gave him a firm nod, dismissing him. Of course, she was going to say yes. There wasn't any place that she had to be. Her son was with his father and her husband was gone until Christmas it seemed like. In the OR, she said a quick prayer and started the procedure. Feedback from the intercom caught her attention when she was just about finished. She waited for someone to speak. The intercom buzzed again. "Whoever that is, speak or go away," she said in a semi-irritated voice. It was probably an intern too afraid to say something.

"You're sure you want me to do that?" Miranda's brows wrinkled and she looked up quickly at the speaker. Because it sounded like Ben, but he was one thousand miles away. "Miranda Bailey."

"Benjamin Warren? Is that you?"

He laughed. "Don't tell me you've forgotten my voice already?"

Miranda tried to hide the grin that was going to expose just how happy she was. "Um, Edwards, let's ignore that and keep going," she said across the body cavity.

The young doctor was also smiling. "Yes, Dr. Bailey," Stephanie Edwards, one of her favorite and most promising residents answered.

Ten minutes later, they were walking out of the OR and into the scrub room. Miranda was still scrubbing out when the door opened. Her body was jittery, but she didn't bother looking at whoever it was. "So, you're not gonna turn around?" Ben asked.

"I'm washing my hands," she said as he moved behind her.

"Turn around."

"You're just a hallucination."

Ben put his lips to her ear and she looked through the window and was glad to see that the OR was emptying. "Turn around, Miranda." Biting her tongue a little, she spun, focusing on a spot on the wall. Ben slipped his arms around her body, and she exhaled deeply.

"What are you doing here?" She held him tightly, running her hands over the body that she had to familiarize herself with yet again. "What are you doing here?" Miranda asked again as she pulled him down and placed kisses on his neck. He groaned, pushing them against the nearest wall. "Okay, okay, okay! Wait, wait, wait!" Miranda said pushing him off of her.

Ben bit his bottom lip, a look of hunger strewn across his face. "I needed to see you."

He drove them home as they made small talk. "When do you have to leave?" She asked sliding a hand up his thigh at a red light.

Flinching he said: "Stop, baby. I'm driving." They smiled at each other before he took off. "And don't worry about it right now, okay?" She wanted to object instead she kept her thoughts to herself. They could talk later. For now, she was just glad to have him home.

They rushed into the house, ripping out of their clothes and landing on the sofa, not able to make it to their bedroom. Ben lay down on the sofa, pulling her on top of him. "God!" She called out. His lips were on breasts, further arousing her. "Easy. Easy." Though there was no need. The moment she'd seen him, her body had been ready for his.

"It's been so long," he grunted. Miranda grabbed his shoulders, lowering herself onto him, whining loudly. "Miranda."

"Yes, Benjamin!" It only took mere minutes for them to finish, sticking to one another, breathing hard. Miranda looked at him and they cracked up.

"Our fastest time yet."

He pulled the throw off the back of the sofa and covered them. Miranda stroked his head as he pushed his face into her chest, falling asleep. When she woke up, she was alone on the sofa. Her watch told her that it was midnight. "Ben?" There was no answer, but she heard the something sizzling on the stove. Wrapping the small blanket around her, she walked to the kitchen and saw her husband with just his jeans on.

He turned, grinning. "Morning."

"Good morning," she said plucking up a peach slice that was on the table.

"And you're right on time because breakfast is served." Ben put down a plate of waffles. Miranda washed her hands and picked up one, dipping it into a small bowl of syrup.

"Mmmm, this is good." They started to eat. Over her waffle, she watched him watching her. "What?"

"I'm just happy to see you. It's been more than a few weeks."

She sighed. "I know."

"And I have to leave later on tonight, but—for Christmas, I will be here for two weeks."

"Two?" Ben nodded. Miranda stood up walked over to him, kissing his chest and straddling him. She ripped off a piece of her waffle and put it to her lips.

"I want some." She put a piece to his mouth and he ate it, kissing her fingertips, grabbing her waist locking her in place.

She rocked her hips on him slowly, "I can't wait for Christmas."

"Me either," he responded touching the back of her head and kissing her deeply.

Later that day, she left the hospital and picked up Tuck early. Since Ben was in town, they could finally decorate for Christmas. Ben brought down the decorations from their attic. Miranda watched her husband and son begin decorating the tree while she sipped on wine and ordered dinner. As they waited, she hung the stockings on the mantle below the TV. "There. I've done my part," she said. When she turned around, she saw Tuck on Ben's shoulders. Ben passed the boy the angel to put on top of the tree. "Let me get my camera."

"Hurry up because I don't know what you're feeding this boy, but he ain't no spring chicken."

Tuck grabbed the top of Ben's head, laughing. "I eat a lot!" He put the angel on the tree and Ben put him down, hugging him.

"Good job, buddy," he said as they high fived. These were Miranda's favorite moments. When she just watched their friendship bloom right before her eyes.

Once they were all finished, the three of them lay on the sofa as a movie played. Ben stroked Miranda's hair, whispering to her occasionally. Tuck fell asleep and Ben lifted him and walked him to his bedroom. She followed them, kissing Tuck's head as he settled under his comforters. In their bedroom, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Thank you for coming," she said into the darkness.

"I have to be at the airport in four hours," he told her, his lips against her ear.

"Want me to drive you?"

"Nah, I'll take a cab."

Miranda turned around and put her hand beneath his chin. "You'll be back for Christmas, right?"

"That's the plan, hon." That wasn't a good enough answer, but she couldn't combat it without blowing up and ruining the little time they had left. She kissed his neck, moving down, tracing his clavicle with her lips. "Feels good," he breathed. "I miss your kisses."

She bit his skin softly. "I know."

Miranda's phone was ringing. It was the second or third call in the last five minutes. She wasn't asleep, but she was resting. And she didn't really want to be bothered. The first one had been from Ben. The second was a spam caller and this one—she picked up the phone. Her mother, Elena. There were two weeks left until Christmas and this was her second day of calling. Accepting the call, she heard: "Miranda Denise Bailey, how many times should a mother call before she comes across the country to tell you about yourself?"

Smiling, Miranda said: "I'm sorry. I've just resting on my day off."

Elena made a noise, somewhat accepting her apology. "So, your father and I are finalizing plans for Christmas. Are you and my favorite grandson coming here?" Miranda sputtered. "Or is Ben supposed to come into town? Or are you working like you did for Thanksgiving?" She rolled her eyes, cursing silently. "I heard that."

"Um, no, I'm not working. Yes, Ben is coming home."

"If he doesn't…" Thought she'd never say it to her mother, Elena was really frustrating her.

"If he doesn't, then my son and I will be here opening gifts." She could hear Elena about to interject. "And then we'll come to you guys. If you'll still have us."

"Of course. I… we just wanted to know. We'd just really love to see you this holiday."

Miranda sighed as her door opened and Tuck came in, sleepy and smiling. "Me too, mama. Me too." Tuck climbed into her bed and into her arms. Almost six years old, Miranda couldn't believe how fast he was growing. She hated that Ben wasn't there watching him grow with her.

"What's for breakfast?" She asked him.

He giggled loudly. "You have to make breakfast, mommy! I'm too little!"

"Too little?" Miranda asked shaking her head. "Unh-uh, I don't want to hear that." He laughed louder. "Now, I want eggs and bacon and pancakes and grits and potatoes and sausages and… hmm."

Tuck looked up at her. "Waffles? You like waffles."

Miranda kissed the top of his head. "I do."

A week and a half before Christmas, Miranda found herself holding her breath. With every phone call she received from her husband, she prayed that it wasn't Ben telling her that he wouldn't be home. She was never much for holidays, but she really wanted to celebrate this one with the most important guys in her life. At work, she pulled off her scrub cap as she moved toward the family waiting for her news. Walking over to them, she saw their bewildered faces and smiled to let them know that it was okay to breathe, it was okay to relax. They hugged her and her body accepted their gratitude. Miranda walked toward her office, pulling out her phone to call her husband. It seemed like she hadn't talked to him in so long. "Hello?" He answered.

"Are you still coming for Christmas?"

"Hi, baby, how are you today?"

"Benjamin Warren," Miranda said with a smile as she walked into her office to change quickly.

He sucked his teeth. "Miranda Bailey." She couldn't hold in her laughter. "Yes, that is the plan. Where are you?"

"My office. On my way to pick up Tuck and then home."

"Then?"

Miranda bit the inside of her bottom lip. "Then dinner. Maybe a movie with Tuck."

"Then?"

"We'll go to bed and do the same thing all over again tomorrow."

"No late-night phone call to your loving husband?" She chuckled and put the phone down, pulling off her scrub top. When she picked it up again, she saw her husband's face. "Ooohh! In the office, babe?"

Miranda put the phone down again. "No, that was an accident."

"Riiiight." She ended the call and seconds later he was calling her back. "You hung up on me."

"I think my finger hit the thingy," she said raising an eyebrow.

"Mmmhmm." Miranda sighed and began taking off pants. The two of them talked as she picked up Tuck. Miranda gave the phone to Tuck so that the two of them could chat. He handed it back as they walked into the house. "I have to get started on dinner. So, I'll call you back later."

He inhaled sharply. "I'm about to go into surgery, so let me call you."

"Okay."

"And don't wait up for me," he told her.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "You think you're that important?"

"I am," Ben stated.

"You are." Miranda kept her eyes open for as long as she could waiting for him to call, but soon she was drifting.

Two days later, as Miranda was in the pit, she bumped into one of her colleagues and Ben's closest friends, Jackson Avery. He fell into step with her not speaking probably waiting for her to acknowledge him. She kept going only stopping when she found a resident to run an errand. "Hello, Dr. Bailey," Jackson said.

"Avery."

"How are you doing?" He asked.

What did he know? Miranda looked up at him. "I'm fine. How are you?" She responded knowing that her semi-polite answer would throw him off. He blinked a few times. "Oh, that's nice. Well, I have to go."

As she turned, he said: "Wait. Um, so I talked to Warren and he said he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to make it home for Christmas."

Her heart dropped. "And you're the one relaying that message because?"

"Well, Pierce and I are gonna have a little get together at our house Christmas Eve night, you know? A… a lot of people will be working, but a lot won't be. And we couldn't make it back east, so…" As the younger doctor talked, fire curdled in her gut. "So, I'm extending an invitation."

"I wouldn't have had an invitation if my husband were coming home?" She said in a voice that sounded calm to her, but made others recoil.

"That's—"

Miranda nodded. "Well, that's what it sounded like."

Callie walked over and touched her shoulder. "Uh, what's going on?"

"I'm getting a pity invite to a party because apparently my husband isn't coming home for Christmas." With that, Miranda stormed off.

Usually, she would have called her husband and told him about himself, but, and he should thank his lucky stars, she was pulled into an emergency surgery. After resting all day, Miranda woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She swiped the "accept" button, but she didn't say anything. "Babe?"

"Yes?"

"Um…"

"Just say it."

"There's been a slight change of plans." Miranda sighed. This was a conversation she'd had before. Except she'd been in Ben's position then and Tucker had been in hers. The thought was humorous and she began to laugh. "Miranda?"

Wiping a stray tear from her eye, she said: "Uh, yeah?" She chuckled. "What's the change?"

"Well," he started. "I'll miss Christmas day, but I'll be there the day after. Two residents went down and I have to be here."

"I would pretend to be surprised, but you'd already told Avery who told me. Then he invited me to their house for a party. Which was embarrassing to say the most."

Ben groaned, "Shit!"

"My sentiments exactly," she said.

"I'm sorry, babe." Miranda pursed her lips, slowly forgiving him. I want to see your face. Let's video chat."

She said that she didn't want to. Which was a lie. "Don't they know you already reserved that time off?"

"No one cares," he said.

"I don't like this."

"I know, honey, I just… there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied."

Miranda really, really tried to keep herself cool, but she was pissed off and she said: "If you can't manage to keep a promise to Tuck and I then…" She sighed loudly, uncertain of what she was about to say next. "Then… don't even bother coming. We'll see you at the turn of the year." She muttered an "I love you" and ended the call. Ben called back a few minutes later. "Hello?"

"Are you done being so dramatic, Miranda Bailey?"

She wished she could roll her eyes at him instead of over the phone. "I'm not being dramatic. I'm being practical."

He was silent and she knew he was doing everything in his power not to flip. "Do you know how many dates you've missed because of work? How many dinners?" Her ears warmed as she listened to him. "Lunches? But… you know what?"

"What?" She spat.

Ben exhaled. "I love you. I'll call you later."

All through breakfast, Miranda felt wretched. Her stomach hurt and she didn't even want to eat. So much so that when Tucker called her and asked about picking up Tuck for Christmas Eve, she agreed. "But have him back Christmas Eve night, Tucker Jones."

"Okay. My brother is coming in with his boys and we're gonna do a little guys' thing."

"That's really nice, Tucker. Tell Matty I said 'hey' and that I miss him."

"You always liked him best."

"I did," she laughed softly getting up to get some Tylenol.

Tucker paused. "Um, are you okay?"

Faking a smile to brighten her voice, she said: "I'm good. Why?"

"You don't sound like yourself." Miranda told him that she was just fine. "Okay. Well, then I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Yep."

Later that day, Miranda dropped Tuck off at a Christmas party at his dojo. Sitting in the parking lot, she decided to call Ben. She was genuinely surprised when he answered. "Hey, babe, what's up?"

"I snapped."

"I know. I was on the receiving end."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too, babe. I said some things that I shouldn't have." His sigh was loud and expressive. "I apologize."

Miranda inhaled trying not to start crying again. "Of course, I want you to come home. Whenever you get here, I will be so happy."

"Really?"

"Yes, hon," she told him. "I absolutely cannot wait to see you."

"Good. I'll see you soon."

Callie grabbed onto her arm the next day. "Yes?"

"Are you going to Pierce and Avery's?" Her friend asked.

Miranda shook the woman away. "Um, I haven't decided yet."

"Well, you could drop Tuck off at the baby-sitter's with Sofia," she said signing a chart and turning to Miranda.

"Tucker is picking him up."

"Good. So, you're free."

"Maybe."

"C'mon, Miranda. No good can come of just sitting home, being alone."

"Just let it go, Torres. I said 'maybe' and that's the best answer anyone is getting." Her phone buzzed. "I have to go," Miranda sighed.

That night as she tucked Tuck into bed, Miranda smoothed his head. "Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Is Ben coming home?"

She ran her tongue over the top row of her teeth. "Yes, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon." Tuck nodded. "Okay?" Miranda asked. The question was more for her than for him.

"Okay."

In the living room, Miranda curled her feet beneath her as she clicked around for a Christmas movie. So busy at home and at the hospital, she hadn't really had the time to watch a lot since the season started. She ate popcorn and sipped wine as the TV played. "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs," she said out loud at the same time as John McClane. She chuckled to herself. As the movie wound down, tears streamed down her face. She wiped them away. Her phone vibrated the sofa. Seeing that it was Ben, she cleared her throat and answered it: "Hello, my love." She was so glad that she was able to see his face. He was so handsome; she couldn't get enough of it.

"Miranda Bailey." She smiled as her heart flipped. "What are you doing, babe?"

"Just watching a movie and having a little snack."

"Oh yeah?" She nodded. "What kind of snack?"

Laughing, she directed the phone at her lap. "Popcorn and wine."

"I'm about to have a snack, too." Miranda ate some more popcorn. "Guess what I'm having."

"What?" She asked with a wide smile.

His smile matched hers. "You."

Her face was nothing but a big question mark. What the hell was he talking about? "What?" Miranda asked again staring at the phone.

"Open the door, Miranda."

She gasped loudly. "Don't play with me," she said going to the front of the house. "If I open the door you're not here, I swear to God, Benjamin Warren, I will end you." He laughed as she unlocked the door, put her hand on the knob, jerking open the door. No one was there. She grabbed her jacket from the coatrack and stepped out onto their porch and saw him sitting in the chair swing they'd put up right before he left. She crossed her arms and rubbed her eyes, already blurry with tears.

"Well, aren't you going to give me a hug?" He asked swinging casually. Miranda swallowed and walked over to him. Ben stood up and put his arms around her.

"I've missed you," she told him as she buried her face into his chest. He touched her chin and lifted it, connecting their lips. The kiss was short and sweet and moist because of her tears.

"I've missed you more," he said as they sat down. He unfolded a blanket and put it across their laps. "Aren't you going to ask what I'm doing here?"

Miranda shook her head. "I don't care." They shared another kiss. She turned to him and put her mouth on his chin, biting him a little. Ben groaned. "I have really, really missed you."

"You have, have you?" She nodded slowly. He grabbed the back of her neck and planted another kiss on her, hard and rough and one that left her slightly out of breath. Ben kissed down her body, throwing the cover to the side.

"Wait, wait, wait," she begged touching his head and trying to bring him up.

"You don't want an early Christmas gift?" He asked smiling devilishly.

She hooked his chin so that she could see his eyes underneath the porch light. "What if someone sees us?"

Ben sighed. "It'll be a gift to them, too," he said sliding her pajamas down to her ankles. Thankfully, the chill she felt was being diluted by the heat that was swarming her body. Her husband pried open her legs dipping his head between them. Miranda thanked God, silently as her eyes rolled back.

In bed later after going another round, she held him from behind. "I just remembered something."

"What's that?" He asked turning to face her.

"I owe Avery and Torres apologies."

He skated his fingers along her naked waist. "For what?"

"Because I yelled at them."

Ben laughed. "Why would you yell at our friends?"

"They were getting on my nerves asking me about you and whether you were coming home and that damn party and I flew off the handle."

He licked his lips and Miranda took that as an invitation to kiss him. Something she'd be doing any chance she got to make up for lost time. "Well, don't feel too bad. They both knew I was coming home and I told them to bug you."

Miranda pushed his shoulders and climbed on top of him. "So, it's actually you that has to apologize?"

He shrugged and palmed her butt, making her back arch. "I don't mind apologizing."

She lifted her body and sank onto him, inhaling sharply. "Good, you can start with me."

They decided to go to the Christmas Eve party that Jackson and Maggie were hosting. "Even though it was given out of pity, I—" Ben leaned in and kissed her deeply, he snaked a hand beneath her purple dress and she swatted it away before putting her hand on the band of his black dress pants.

He laughed and pushed it away. "Feel better?"

"Much."

"Now, I don't want to hear another word about it about. Capeesh?"

She shrugged and adjusted his tie a little. "Fine."

On the car ride over, Miranda scrolled through her social media. Coming across a picture of some stranger's baby, she was hit with a feeling she hadn't felt in years. A longing to have a baby. She and Tucker had tried hard for Tuck and, God, were they blessed. But Miranda and Ben had only talked a bit about having kids. And they were both on the same page—now wasn't the best time, but in the future… "Miranda Bailey!"

She shook her head. "Yes, hon?"

"Are you ignoring me?"

She held her hand out, smiling. "No, I'm not. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that we should hold something at our house. Maybe New Year's or something."

Still distracted, she said: "Yeah, sure. Sounds good, Ben."

The party was actually nice. Jackson came up to her and she apologized for going off on him. "It's no big deal. I should have gone a different route," he laughed.

"Remember that for next time," she said to him.

Sometime during the night, Tucker called and said that he and Tuck were outside. Miranda found Ben and told him that they had to get home. "Why didn't you let him bring Tuck in the morning?" Ben asked.

"Because I want to see Tuck's face when he wakes up on Christmas morning."

"Good point," he responded. At home, Ben helped Tuck leave cookies and milk for Santa. "Okay, bud, you gotta go to sleep now. Santa is probably hitting North America now and we're at the top of the map."

Tuck's eyes flew open and he hurried up the stairs to his room. Miranda and Ben followed. The boy hugged them both, unknowingly tightening his grip on his mother's heart. "Goodnight, mommy."

"Goodnight, baby." The two of them went back downstairs to finish wrapping gifts and to eat the cookies. "Uh, hand me that blue wrapping paper, please," she said.

"Miranda, it's right in front of you." She giggled and picked it up. "What's going on with you?"

Gliding the scissors across the wrapping paper, she asked: "What do you mean?"

"Your mind has been elsewhere all night."

"I'm just… excited about the holiday. I think we'll do hot chocolate with marshmallows and cookies tomorrow. What say you?"

He nodded and slid another box beneath the tree. "Sounds good, babe."

"Good."

After wrapping up the gifts, Miranda and Ben retired up the stairs to their bedroom. "What didn't you buy Tuck?" Ben asked winking at her.

"Hey, you've seen those brown eyes."

He nodded. "I have."

"Which is why you brought him every game he asked for to go with his little system." He pulled off his shirt and tossed it at her. "Ahh!" They laughed quietly, careful not to wake Tuck.

Ben placed kisses on her neck until she fell asleep. Waking up, Miranda realized that she was alone. The smell of breakfast being made was in the air. "Mommy!" Tuck called out.

She smiled, shook her head and rolled out of bed. Picking up her robe, she walked past her mirror. She paused and ran a hand over her stomach. In such a short amount of time, her mind had been flooded with thoughts of a baby. Ben came into the room and she saw his reflection in the mirror. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Admiring," she said.

He walked over to her and put his arms around her, setting his chin on her shoulder. "Good morning."

"Good morning."

"Merry Christmas, babe."

She smiled and turned around. "Mm… Merry Christmas to you, too." They shared a kiss and he made a face. "What?"

"I let Tuck open a gift."

"What? Without me?"

"You've seen those brown eyes," Ben told her, kissing her cheek.

Miranda gave him another smile. The elation she felt having him home for longer than a day or two was amazing. "I have." He nodded. "What did he open?"

"A PlayStation."

"Benjamin!"

"I couldn't help it." He smiled. Miranda shook her head and pulled him out of the room.

When Tuck saw her, he ran over to her with the biggest grin on his face. "Look at what Ben got me!" He shouted pointing to the system that was already set up and playing on the TV.

"Merry Christmas, William George."

"Merry Christmas, mommy! Look at what I got!"

She gasped dramatically. "Wow! That's awesome!" Her son hugged her. "Did you say thank you?"

"Yes!" She kissed his face. "Thank you, Ben!"

"You're welcome, bud." Tuck hugged him and Ben rubbed the top of his head.

"What's for breakfast?" Miranda asked.

Ben looked at her and tilted an eyebrow. "Waffles."

Miranda turned up her nose. "You're too much."

"They taste so good," he said leaning in for a kiss.

"I bet they do."

As the morning turned into the afternoon, the three of them had breakfast and they were opening gifts when someone knocked on the door. Ben jumped up to get it. "Hey, Tucker."

"Merry Christmas."

"Uh, same to you, bruh."

The two men came into the living room. "Daddy!" Tuck said pausing his game and going over to Tucker.

"Merry Christmas, Tucker Jones," Miranda said.

"Merry Christmas, Mandy," he said. She waited. "I wondered if I could take the boy to open his gifts from the family. I'll bring him right back. I promise."

Tuck came over and fell into her lap. "Can I go, mommy? Please?"

She inhaled. "Sure."

"Yes! Can I take my new game?" He asked looking at Ben who cracked up.

"Uh, no, bud. Maybe next time, alright?" Ben responded.

"Go and get dressed," Miranda said.

Tucker shook his head. "He doesn't have to. I'll take him just like that."

Ben caught her eye silently asking her if she was okay with everything. She nodded. Tuck got his coat and Ben helped him put it on. Her son walked over to her. "I'll be right back, okay, mommy?"

She winked, "Okay. I love you. Be good." He nodded and gave Ben a high five before going out of the front door with Tucker.

Ben headed to the kitchen and came back with two cups of coffee as Miranda pulled a blanket from the back of the chair. "Want to watch a movie?" He asked. She shook her head. "Want to play the game?"

"Maybe later."

"So, what's up with you?"

She inhaled wondering if she should tell him what she was thinking. Miranda decided against it. "Nothing."

"You're not telling me the truth," he said taking a sip of his coffee and picking up the controller, continuing Tuck's game.

"I am," she lied.

"Okay." Miranda reached over and took the controller. "Now you want to play?"

"No. I'm pausing it because I want your attention," she admitted.

He looked at her. "Yes?"

"I…" The words got stuck in her throat. Ben's look softened and he held her hands. "I love you."

He stroked the side of her face. "I know that."

"And I want to talk about having a baby." She watched him exhale and she started to panic. Had she remembered their conversation wrong? Did he not want a baby? Or another kid? Were they already good? Miranda's heart pounded. "I mean… it… we can just talk about it. That's it. Just talk."

Ben put a hand to his face and then one to hers. "I want a baby," he said looking her square in her eyes.

"You do?" She asked, her voice soft and full of relief.

"Of course, I do." Miranda felt herself tearing up. "I see how great Tuck is and it's all I can think about. But… I know it'll be tough with me in L.A., so I haven't mentioned it." She leaned in for a kiss and lengthened it by climbing on top of him. "Oh! Are we starting now?"

Laughing, she said: "No!" The way he made her feel so wanted and the way he made her smile proved how good he was for her. That forever was truly possible this time around.

Ben pushed up her nightgown. "So, it's just practice then?"

"Yes," she said as he kissed her neck, sinking his teeth into her gently. She started to protest.

"Not here. Got it."

"God," she whispered. "Merry Christmas, baby."

"Merry Christmas, my love."