I would just like to preface this chapter by saying that I am not a Luke Castellan apologist.

I do not own PJO/HOO.

..

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me as long as I know who I am

We buried Erica on the island, marking her grave with her sword stuck into the snowy ground just beside her.

After a long silence, most of us spread out as we explored the island, making sure there were no more Cynocephaly lingering about. Alek stayed by Erica's side though, and we let him, figuring he needed some time to make his peace, and say his final words to her.

I found I needed a distraction more than anything, which is how my mother eventually found me, hacking away at a random tree.

"Something wrong?" She asked, a tone of surprised concern in her voice.

I stopped abusing the innocent tree, and without looking back at her, replied, "Nothing. Just trying to expend some energy."

"Considering today's events," She mused, "I think you've burned enough energy as it is." She took a couple steps closer, her blonde hair hung majestically over her shoulders, still stained with a couple patches of dried blood. "Something's bothering you." She said it as a statement of fact rather than a question.

I didn't reply, choosing instead to just stare at the ground.

"Is it about Erica?"

Sighing deeply, I eventually nodded.

"Luke, you can't blame yourself for what happened. Trust me on this. It only makes things- "

"It's not that," I interrupted sharply.

My mother had no visible reaction. She just stared with those grey eyes, intimidating, but also full of understanding pain. She waited for me to continue.

"I told Erica I forgave her, but I'm starting to think that was just a heat of the moment feeling. That I didn't want her to die thinking I resented her. Now that she's gone, I… I find myself still resenting her for what she did."

"Luke- " My mother started.

"I know, I know. It's horrible of me to be thinking such things, especially since she's the reason that dad is still alive. But at the same time, she was also the reason all of us were ever in danger in the first place."

I leaned my arm up against the tree, and my head against my arm. "Do you know what it's like, mom, to be betrayed by the last person you thought possible? I mean, Athena even told me my fatal flaw was that I was too trusting, but still… it tears me apart to think about."

I heard the sound of snow crunching behind me, and the sound of my mother breathing deeply, as she shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. Her voice was a bit closer now.

"Do you know why we named you 'Luke'?"

Truthfully, I had never even thought about it. "I guess I just assumed you guys thought it was a nice name."

She laughed a bit at that. "It is a nice name, to be sure." A brief pause on her part allowed me the opportunity to turn around and face her, before she began speaking again. When I looked, there was a trace of a single tear on her face.

"Sometimes Luke, people get lost, whether by a choice they made, or because of a dark influence. And one of the hardest things you could ever experience is watching someone you care about go down that path. You want to do everything in your power to save them, you want to believe with all your might that they aren't truly lost for good, just confused and wandering."

The tear rolled down her cheek, and then fell to the ground. She wasn't even looking at me now; instead, she stared off into the vast distance.

"Sometimes there comes a point where it seems like they have no hope of coming back to you at all. And that's when you really start to feel it; the betrayal, the hopelessness. Promises appear to be broken. Families are destroyed. Sometimes, people die. And then you start to wonder whether you really want them to come back at all."

"Why are you telling me this?" I dared to ask, pockets of hot breath blowing from my mouth as mist into the frosty air.

"Because," She replied patiently, "Even the most lost of people can be brought back… sometimes. All it take is a reminder- a way for them to remember who they truly are, and what truly matters to them."

"You're talking about someone in particular?" I assumed.

She nodded. "An old friend of mine. You would've liked him."

"Would I?"

"I did- and so did you father… well, for a little while."

I raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"He… made some mistakes. Horrible mistakes, really."

"And so you named me after him?" Needless to say my tone was a bit surprised, and disconcerted.

"Yeah," She admitted, "Everyone thought we were crazy at first."

"How did dad ever approve?" I asked, "Considering he didn't like the guy."

My mother actually smiled fondly for some reason, her lips twitching up ever so slightly. "It was actually your father's idea to name you 'Luke'. Of course, I was shocked as well, but he knew how much- he once meant to me."

The word 'once' was not lost on me. "You didn't name me after one of your long-lost lovers, did you?"

At that, my mother burst out laughing, and it took a few good seconds for her to respond. "No, Luke, rest assured that is not the case. Your father is the only 'lover' I've had- "

I gagged. "Gross."

She rolled her eyes. "The point is, Luke, that people make mistakes. Your father and I are no exception. Nor was your namesake, but in the end, he remembered what mattered most, what he truly cared about, and he never broke his promise."

Her voice was somber once again. "And in the end, he did what he had to do to protect those he loved."

Words from my memory flooded into my mind. A voice spoke in a similar somber tone. I eventually recognized it as Silena's, in the big house on the day we left camp.

I remembered her placing something in my hand. A necklace.

"Thanks, mom," I whispered, just barely audible enough for her to hear. She tilted her head and smiled, standing there awkwardly. I wondered if I should've gone over and hugged her, but now that there was no reason to think we were going to die any second, I didn't exactly have the same desperate emotions anymore.

Now, I was back to overthinking and being unsure of how to act, and my guess was that she was in the same boat.

"Uh- " I stuttered.

"I think I saw Alek walking away," She pointed out, breaking the awkwardness. I understood her unspoken message. Go see Erica. One last time.

…..

Surprisingly, I found I was not the only visiting her. Even more surprising was the person there.

My father stood stoically beside the grave, staring down at the upturned pile of dirt and stones. The wind whipped his raven hair about, and I knew in that moment that he was truly a son of the sea.

I said nothing as I came to join his side. He gave me little acknowledgement, though I was unbothered. The moment was too real, too solemn, too melancholy to corrupt with words. Silence was the friend of us both.

I felt that we shared a mutual understanding, and therefore a mutual pain. In some ways, Erica had been my responsibility, as much as I had been hers. I was the one who asked her to join the quest after all.

"I owe her my life," My father's words suddenly reached my ears. His voice was cracked, and distorted. "She's yet another name on an ever-growing list. And I hate it- I hate that to me, that's all she'll ever be. I hate that I'll never know who she truly was, what she was like, or even where she came from."

I didn't respond. I just bit my lip, trying to stop the swirling feeling in my stomach.

"I've seen so many die- so many demigods who were- are just like me. And it never gets any easier."

I couldn't help but feel like he was giving me a very subtle warning; that this was what I had to look forward to in my life. Pain, betrayal, loss- the life of a demigod or legacy, whatever you wanted to call me.

And I wondered whether it would ever be worth it.

My father turned, and with a quick squeeze of my shoulder, and an encouraging half-smile, walked back towards the center of the island. That left me alone at her side.

Lots of thoughts ran through my mind, and I thought about voicing them out loud. I wanted to talk to her one last time, to tell her how I now felt, how what I had said before was completely true now. But I felt as though if I opened my mouth and began speaking, I would never be able to stop.

Actions always speak louder than words, someone once said. I used to think it depended on given the situation. Sometimes actions can be just as deceiving as words.

But this time, I decided to forget all that, as I looked down at the object resting in the palm of my hand. I clasped it one last time, and then knelt down, hanging it around the hilt of Erica's sword, before standing again.

I took one last look at Silena's necklace hanging there above Erica's grave, then said one last goodbye, and walked away.

…...

When I rejoined the others, I found them standing in a circle, as everyone stared oddly at my father, who had his eyes closed for some reason. Upon hearing me approach, he opened them just enough to confirm it was me, before smiling and closing them again.

"I haven't done this in a while either," He announced casually. His face then took on a look of deep concentration. His eyebrows knitted together, and the wrinkles on his forehead became more prominent.

"What's he doing?" I whispered to my mother.

She smiled proudly at me. "Calling our rides."

…..

We all watched as a sleek black figure descended from the sky in majestic fashion, followed closely by two similar creatures.

My jaw dropped as the Pegasus gently landed on the snowy ground, and without hesitation, immediately went to nuzzle my father. It's mane was as raven-colored and wild as his own hair.

"Hey, Blackjack," My dad said fondly, as if greeting an old friend. "It's good to see you again."

Blackjack, I thought. The name fit.

A whinnying noise came from the Pegasus, and my dad shook his head. "Sorry, buddy. I don't have any donuts on me."

Blackjack snorted disappointedly.

"You've been keeping track," He noted, then his jaw dropped. "Wait- how many?"

Neither of them moved. The rest of us, save for my mother, watched on in confusion as my dad seemingly had a full-on conversation with the Pegasus.

"Fifty-seven! I don't see how I could possibly owe you that many?"

Blackjack's only visible response was to shake his mane. A silent argument must have happened, because my dad didn't say anything audibly for the next few minutes. The only sign of them communicating was in their facial expressions… if a horse could have facial expressions.

After a few awkward moments, and some extreme negotiating tactics, namely Blackjack whipping my dad in the face with his tail, they came to an agreement.

"Fine," He consented, "Sixty-three donuts when we get back home. You better watch your language though, otherwise I'm going to start docking from the donut count."

Negotiations complete, I watched as my mother also had an apparent reunion with the winged horse, and while she seemed just as connected with him, she appeared to be using my dad to communicate with Blackjack instead of just talking herself.

Of course, Son of Poseidon… he can communicate with horses.

"Luke," My father's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to find about two and a half pairs of eyes on me. Blackjack, being a horse, could only look at me with one of his eyes at a time.

"I'd like to introduce you to an old friend of mine."

…..

The wind whipped through my hair, and at some points, threatened to blow my eyeballs out of my skull. But that didn't stop me from appreciating the journey for what it was- the journey back home.

To my left, Alek rode his Pegasus, a somber look still pervasive on his face, counteracted now though by an aura of freedom. He had changed just as much as anyone on this quest- even myself, I daresay. When we first left camp, I remembered him being a reckless, almost volatile son of Ares- very rough around the edges, and almost poisonous to the touch.

I could still describe him as such, but now, it was only half the picture. The other half was a flurry of little moments. He might call them moments of weakness or vulnerability; anyone else would say they were moments of realness. A joke made here and there, a gesture that signified caring thoughtfulness, a talk that showed just how in touch Alek was with emotions. All in all, just a glimpse into the heart of a boy who loved comic books, and would do anything (sometimes scary things) to protect those he cared about.

Up ahead of us, I saw my parents, leading the way on Blackjack. They were what this quest had been all about supposedly, and yet, in some ways, they were merely a bonus. And I mean that in the nicest, most appreciative way possible. But there was no denying the fact that what happened on this quest was way bigger than just them two, and I was fairly certain that they would probably agree.

Both of them, after all, probably knew that better than anyone.

My mind made a mental note- it's about to get real with them. There was no escaping the fact that my parents were back, and it was kind of a big deal. We would have to figure out what that meant, both for them and for me. I wasn't quite sure whether or not I was ready for that.

Either way, I was glad to have found them.

Behind me, with her arms wrapped tightly around my waist, Carolyn held on for dear life. I knew that though the quest was technically over, this portion of the trip would be the most important to her. I wondered what it meant for us- for her specifically.

Were things going to change? I had no doubts that they would- it was just a question of how much. Would Apollo even be able to help her? Would he even be willing?

He better be, especially if I have anything to say about it.

..

This was originally going to be an extra-long chapter, which I ended up splitting into two shorter ones, so the next update will be coming soon, rest assured. After that, comes the epilogue.