Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Danny Phantom.
Note (10/16/2020): I hope one part of this chapter doesn't feel out of place but I really wanted Vlad to start really thinking about the pretty messed up life he's led so far, the mistakes he's made, and how he really wants to be a better father figure to Danny than he was to Dani since he can't help but think about her for some reason and that lingering part of his dark past. I also wanted an excuse to show off more of Whisper's backstory too! Anyways, this is all supposed to be a bit of foreshadowing since things are about to kick off soon. And lastly, I'm also going to be introducing the next oc pretty soon so hope you're looking forward to that!
Chapter 33: Shared Pain
Vlad's POV
Needless to say, Daniel was astonished when I explained to him that my offer to Whisper wasn't entirely 'treasure hunting' related at all. But rather I wanted to use her uniquely soothing aura in a way he would be comfortable with to give him some much-needed peace of mind. All she had to do was spend time with him or keep one of her wisps close and in exchange, I offered to trade Whisper some of my own antiques as payment. As a bonus, I offered to help Whisper research the background of some of the items in her collection she was unsure about, and in return, I asked her to use her power to see memories of the past to find out more about some of the things I've collected as well over the years...
I spoke to Daniel at length about this arrangement and confessed that yes, I'm still as opportunistic as ever when it comes to something that can be turned to my advantage. In this case however, it was for Daniel's benefit because frankly if anyone's spirit is in need of some healing it's most certainly his. He was a bit hesitant at first, understandably, but Whisper's natural motherly personality must have reminded Daniel of his sister so it didn't take long for them to form a quick friendship.
Frankly, I was taken aback when Whisper seemed perfectly at ease around me as well because surely she could tell I was only using her. And at first, I assumed that maybe to her we're just as much of a fascinating mystery which made both of us just interesting to be around. And since she has no previous knowledge of the kind of man I once was nor the cruel things I've done as Vlad Plasmius, it makes perfect sense why Whisper treats me no different than Daniel. She treats me like nothing more than a concerned father and a person with feelings just like anyone else...
Sometimes, I would catch a glimpse of sadness and longing in her eyes when she watched me interact with Daniel. It made me want to find out more about who this young woman was before her passing. I attempted to indirectly ask about her past a few times but judging from the confusion I saw in response when Whisper tried to recall anything specific I can only assume she either blocked those memories for a reason or it's been so long since she's been alive that some details of her life faded over time. That's when Whisper admitted to me that truthfully, she doesn't even recall her human name anymore...
Her only true remaining memory is of a man rejecting her when she went to them for comfort and guidance which is why Whisper tries so hard to help others when she hears them calling for help in one form or another. She said she believes the man was her father but she can't say for sure, and from what I can tell he was probably a very cold and stern man without an ounce of sympathy. And I must admit, I felt a twinge of guilt when I realized that I wasn't much different than this man only a year ago.
For all my talk of only wanting love...I wonder if I ever really knew which kind I meant because I was so unspeakably cruel to the person I wanted it from most, Daniel himself, and before that his mother when I selfishly tried to steal her away from Jack before I fell out of love with her for what they'd done to him. That's when I remembered the brief conversation we had when Maddie admitted she genuinely missed our friendship, as in what it was before the accident twenty years ago poisoned everything. But I seriously doubt we could ever hope to recapture anything close to the friendship we had.
And more importantly, I cannot see myself ever falling in love with another woman.
No, I'm more interested in the sort of love and care I can provide for Daniel as a father figure to make amends for how poorly I once treated him. There are times when we still have opposing views, but at least Daniel trusts that whatever I'm planning isn't anything against him or his family anymore. And the only reason I sought revenge against Samantha Manson is because she crossed the line and hurt Daniel very deeply all over again which is unacceptable. Tucker Foley isn't blameless either of course, but unlike his goth friend he hasn't done anything nearly as terrible as spout such selfish nonsense when their best friend has risked life and limb to protect them apart from standing idly by and not choosing a side...
Thanks to Daniel I've since learned the futility of a one-sided relationship whether it is love, friendship, or seeking a kindred spirit. Sincere effort must be put in on both sides for it to truly withstand the test of time. But my time to fully reconcile with Jack and Maddie has long since passed and the most I can hope for is their cooperation for Daniel's sake. There's simply too much history between us now to ever fully close that gap.
As for his friends, well, as predicted they haven't exactly tried to find a loophole to that restraining order which either means they are just biding their time, or they have moved on and decided Daniel's friendship isn't worth all the hassle. I suppose the only way to know for sure is to remove the restraining order before Daniel finds out and see how they respond. But I'd much rather drag this out long enough for that wretched girl to finally learn her lesson about respecting Daniel's decisions.
For the time being, however, Whisper's powers are uniquely suited to help Daniel so she's been acting as a temporary companion of sorts. And when she's not with him, Whisper's wisps usually keep Daniel company and I could tell just their close proximity has done wonders helping him sleep peacefully at night. Just to be safe I've been keeping tabs on their location at all times just in case. That's the beauty of it. Thanks to her, I didn't have to proscribe any anti-depressants for Daniel and I didn't have to hire a professional therapist either. Although in retrospect I probably should hire one if for no other reason than to keep up appearances as far as my doing what's required of me as Daniel's legal guardian...
With any luck though, the healing effect Whisper and her summoned wisps have on Daniel will have the same results as weeks of therapy or taking a prescription to calm his anxiety. And if I can help him stabilize emotionally Daniel will soon be ready to begin going to school regularly again where he'll have the opportunity to make new friends, we'll finally be able to resume training with his ghost powers, and most of all...I'll finally be able to go with him to meet this Clockwork whom I have yet to thank for all he's done for my little badger. I still don't like feeling indebted to someone I haven't met face to face, but something tells me he may also be indirectly responsible for this 'chance' meeting we had with this lovely young ghost girl to help Daniel speed his recovery along.
Danny's POV
"Are you sure you don't mind staying in one place for so long? I mean, whatever happened to wanting to go out and help people?" I asked Whisper one day after we finished watching a movie she recommended which turns out was really good despite the confusing name, 'The Prestige' or something like that about two magicians trying to outmatch each other and there's a big twist at the end.
"Well, I'm helping you. Isn't that enough?" she teased, gently tapping my nose, "Saving the world doesn't have to be some grand gesture or a battle you have to win. Sometimes it's all about being where you're needed, spending time with them, and showing people a bit of kindness. Besides, this isn't the first time I've lingered in one place to help someone."
Sighing heavily, Whisper continued, "But you're right, I'm probably going to have to leave soon since we need to stop by the Ghost Zone soon to recharge some energy. Vlad says he'll let me go through his portal so I don't have to go searching for a natural one and that I'm welcome here any time so I'll come to visit again. I just have to make sure to let him know next time so we don't startle you again. I just hope I really was able to help you even a little Danny because you're a really nice person yet you still seem to be carrying so much pain buried inside."
Smiling back at her, I reassured her, "Thanks Whisper, and don't worry I'll be alright. Vlad keeps telling me these things take time but at least you've given us a head start. Just being able to sleep peacefully for a while without any nightmares has helped me a lot more than you realize and I feel like I can finally think straight again. Just like you, I think I really needed some time to mentally recharge and thanks to you I think I have..."
Standing up to stretch a bit, once I finished I asked, "By the way, when are you planning on heading out?"
"I'm probably going to be leaving tomorrow night at the latest since Vlad wanted me to look at one last item before I leave, he said it's pretty personal. Not sure what that means so maybe it's something from his family? Like an old photo or something like that," floating out of her seat too Whisper turned to me and after coaxing her sleepy little wisps to follow me like she's been doing the past several nights, she waved and said, "Goodnight Danny, sleep well."
"Night," I waved back, walking back to my room normally since Vlad hasn't told me if I'm allowed to use my ghost powers again yet either because he's been so busy or because we weren't sure yet if my ecto-energy is self-generating normally again. I just hope he'll let me soon because now that I'm feeling better and well-rested, I'm starting to get all antsy again, and as weird as this might sound...
I'm actually looking forward to going to school again.
Vlad's POV
"Alright my dear, this is the last item I would like for you to try and gather some information from for me," I began with a carefully blank tone because frankly, I don't know what possessed me to dredge up the past with this particular issue.
The item in question is...one of Dani's hoodies.
All this talk about the past, seeing phantoms of real people and how they felt, for some reason it made me wonder if that girl still hates me. It's probably for the best if she does because I have nothing to offer her here. All the love I have left to give belongs to my little badger. Besides, I trained her to be resourceful so I'm sure that wherever Dani is she's better off and has long since realized I've given up hunting her down. And if not, she would in time, and as I've said before, I am content to leave well enough alone as long as she keeps her distance.
Back when I was still actively searching for her, one of my underlings found this discarded in some faraway city. And if not for the fact that it had a sample of her ectoplasmic blood on it that matched her DNA, one would assume it was just any torn garment. If nothing else, I wanted to know what had happened to her so I could put that all behind me to focus on Daniel rather than his clone. This is the most recent item of hers I was able to track down before all of my attention turned to Daniel when our relationship first became much more...confrontational and we took things too far to get back at one another.
I'm just glad Daniel and I have grown past that.
I considered having Whisper examine his journal one last time to gain some additional insight into his state of mind before I dispose of it, but I had to remind myself that by now I know everything I need to about who Dan was. All that matters is that he's gone forever and cannot harm my little badger ever again so there's no point in pulling at straws. With my last remaining clone, however, this is more about helping me get some closure about her fate so that's one less sin of the past I have to have a reckoning with.
"Since you have proven it wasn't a mistake to put my faith in you, I'll let you in on a little secret," I told her in all seriousness, "Daniel and I...we actually used to be enemies and this, this belongs to one of my greatest mistakes with him..." At least in this timeline, I added silently to myself.
Placing my hand on the table next to the torn, dirty garment, I glowered, "In a final desperate act to obtain the perfect half-ghost son since he had rejected my invitation time and time again, I cloned Daniel. This hoodie belonged to the last survivor of that experiment. I don't know if she is still alive since she was only the least stable of my active clones, but regardless of what you may see of feel, I would appreciate it if you kept this strictly between us. Think of this as one final test."
A little caught off guard by my honesty about being former enemies with Daniel and at least one of my misdeeds, Whisper remained silent for a few minutes before finally answering, "Of all the things you could have said, I really wasn't expecting that. So you're worried about how your past actions affect Danny and if you're doing enough to live up to his expectations, is that it?"
"I just want to know what happened so I can put it behind me," I cut her off curtly, "As I said, she was incredibly unstable when she left so without the proper care, I doubt that girl is long for this world. But if she is still alive...if you could find her and make her final moments peaceful without knowing I was the one who sent you, then that will help me put the matter to rest. I owe her at least that much."
My tone softening, I placed a hand on Whisper's shoulder and told her sincerely, "You've helped Daniel quite a lot in the few short days you've been with us so I have a good feeling about you my dear. Perhaps Daniel's keen eye for the good in others is rubbing off on me a bit too. At any rate, it would mean a great deal to me to know that girl's fate one way or another.
"And I suppose your power to see into the past has reminded me that those old memories can still hold sway of our hearts for good or ill, and there comes a time when we must face it head-on. Daniel had his demons to face before we could reach this point...and so do I. I want to be a better father to him than I was to that girl. But I don't-I don't have it in me to face her now when Daniel needs me now more than ever to help heal the scars those demons have left on him. You understand?"
"I think so," Whisper replied unsurely, "But are you sure you want me to do this? You might not like what I find."
Nodding I replied, "Yes. You may proceed."
Taking a deep reflexive breath, I stepped aside to make room when Whisper approached the table and held her hands over the worn-out hoodie, her eyes glowing a solid misty teal green. At first, nothing happened. But then after a few minutes, it began to float and she gasped, her hands recoiling from it sharply as tears suddenly filled her eyes as they faded back to normal. Then she began trembling and shook her head in denial, backing away until her back hit the nearest wall.
"No, no, I-I can't. It's too much like how I-" Whisper swallowed hard, clasping her hands together and holding them close to her chest, "There's so much pain, so much sadness, fear, anguish, and this horrible...gaping loneliness..."
"Whisper? Are you alright?" I asked, hesitantly reaching for her when Whisper suddenly choked out a sob and curled in on herself.
"No I'm not because, Vlad, I just-I just remembered...my father. His eyes were so cold. It's like I was only a tool to him. And when I couldn't take it anymore I ran away...and then I died alone knowing no one would cry over my grave," taking a quivering breath, Whisper looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry, I want to help you find this girl, but this...it's too much. This pain is too much like mine and it's overwhelming. She's so scared of dying the same way, alone, and unloved. I can't-"
"That's alright my dear. I knew it was a foolish request to begin with," I said stiffly, walking back over to the table to break eye contact with her because I must admit, seeing Whisper in such a state because her human life was so reminiscent to Dani's in some regards was very heartbreaking not to mention unsettling.
Picking up the hoodie, I did what I should have done after analyzing the DNA sample and burned it to ash with my ecto-energy to get rid of the blasted thing once and for all and let it sift through my fingers. I should have known that digging up this colorful part of my past was a mistake. And what have I been telling Daniel about trying to move on with his life hmm? Yet here I am, searching for some way to justify to myself that I've earned this new life with him when I know my past is littered with innumerable sins and mistakes that I actively chose to make as opposed to the one innocent mistake Daniel made when he cracked under pressure and it turned him into something truly terrible.
Turning back to Whisper who was still drying her eyes, I cleaned my hands with the red handkerchief in my suit pocket before offering to help her up since she had sagged to the floor then told her, "I've forgotten how fragile Empath's can be even as ghosts so please forgive me for expecting too much of you. I shouldn't have asked you to do that so let's forget all about it, my dear. It's enough that you tried and frankly, it's nothing I don't already know..."
Giving me a small nod she wiped her eyes one more time and replied, "I just wasn't expecting to suddenly trigger one of my lost memories while using my powers like that. That's never happened before. But I'll be alright Vlad, thank you for your concern though."
"That's a relief," I smiled ruefully, lifting my sleeve to take a look at the time, "At any rate, it's getting late so we should probably retire soon. Thank you for everything you've done in the few short days you've been here though and I do sincerely apologize for upsetting you. Hopefully, the rest of your stay will us before you leave tomorrow be a bit more pleasant..."
Trailing off a bit when she let her aura grow a bit stronger to help us both calm down, Whisper took another deep breath, shook her head, and said calmly, "Don't apologize. I'm actually glad to remember a little more about my old life, painful as it is. But you want to know the strangest part though?"
"What?" I asked curiously.
"Even though he treated me so poorly, I remember how much I loved my father all the same and hoped he would come around," Whisper confessed before telling me earnestly, "I didn't want to let that pain twist me into something I'm not or someone who wants to hurt others the way I've been hurt. The only real advice I can give you is to focus more on the love you feel in your life now and not the anger you once felt or people you've hurt in the past, ok?"
Cupping her hand on my cheek, with a pearl of motherly wisdom I wasn't expecting to hear from someone who looks no older than Daniel, Whisper added softly, "Don't worry so much about avoiding being the man you once were. Just be the father you've always wanted to be and let that love speak for itself. After all, you can't help Danny if you're all worked up over something like this. He needs you."
"I know. And I will always be there for him," I replied lowering her hand, "I only wish sometimes that I would have realized that before I brought someone like Dani into this world only to suffer as I have suffered through the betrayal of those I trusted most. She needed me too, and I threw her away...so how does that make me any better than your father?"
"I...don't know," Whisper admitted, her shoulders dropping, "I wish I could tell you but only you can decide that. Just keep trying I guess. That's all any of us really can do."
