Woah wasn't expecting my reviews to come so quickly, you guys are awesome. Anon person who doesn't like the story that's okay, people have certain things they don't like. I am sorry that you aren't enjoying it.
I got to write on my day off and it made me very happy, even though it deals with talks of depression. I lost my dad two years ago 2019 on New Year's Day and he was suffering from depression that I wasn't even aware of. It's more serious than people believe. This chapter isn't all about depression just letting you know it's mentioned.
Maura was getting ready to head home for the evening wanting to get home to her wife and the twins when she got a visitor that she was surprised to see, her half sister Cailin. "Cailin what are you doing here?" she still didn't know how she felt about the girl right now. She knew it was silly to be angry but she had feelings for her wife and Maura couldn't just ignore that. "How was lunch with Lauren? You did attend the meeting yes?"
"Yeah I went... mother forced me to go, thought I needed help," Cailin plopped down on the couch. "I don't need help. They want me to attend counseling."
"I think counseling would be good for you. And I hate to be rude but I was about to head home for the evening. Who drove you here?"
"Mother did, thought I should apologize to you. I'm not sure why feelings happen. Not like I want these feelings. I don't want to feel this way about her, I just do," Cailin shrugged.
"I'm sure they'll go away eventually, if the feelings are even real. You should go home though."
"Why does everyone keep on insisting that my feelings for Jane aren't real? That I'm just projecting my feelings on Jane to distract me from the loss of Camille? It's not like that... Camille and I broke up, am I pissed that some fuck killed her? Of course, but I'm not delusional I'm very aware of my feelings. I tried to involve myself with Tommy because he's the closest I'd get to Jane. Sure he was great to be with for a short amount of time, but he can't compare to Jane, and you know that as well," Cailin stood up. "I knew mother should have listened to me, I didn't even want to come talk to you, I know I'm the last person you'd want to see right now. I'm not sorry for my feelings, I am sorry for even mentioning them to any of you, to Jane. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a good life Maura, take good care of Jane," Cailin brushed past Maura and left the office.
Maura just stood their dumbfounded at the conversation, she sighed. Cailin did need help, but if she didn't want it there was nothing they could do about it. Maura could have done without the girl's attitude though. She sent Jane a text that she was coming home, she got a picture message response of Jane in the tub.
Ma insisted I needed to relax, told her I'd rather wait for you to come home to join me but you know her always insisting me on doing shit. I'd prefer not to feel her wrath when I can't do shit about it. Love you babe, see you soon.
Maura smiled warmly at the text from her wife, You shouldn't have electronics near the bathtub Jane.
Of course that would be your reply lol be safe driving home. Evil lurks in the shadows.
Evil also lurks in the bathtub shame I won't be able to join you. You'll just have to find a way to make it up to me ;)
So naughty, I like it. I did behave today like we said earlier, was promised for that sweet release of yours.
Maura decided to not even reply to that, a smirk on her face as she got to her car and drove home. She was glad Jane could get her mind off of things, like that conversation with Cailin.
She pulled up to her house noticing Frost's car there, he seemed to like it at their house which kind of made her worried that maybe Frost didn't like being alone at his own place. Maura headed inside, Korsak was asleep on the couch and the twins were in the dining room telling Frost a story. She was able to come inside unnoticed putting her purse on the counter and taking off her heels before heading to the guest house. She heard Jane talking to her mother.
"Come on Ma! I don't need any help."
"I beg to differ, you're refusing to come out of the tub, Maura's going to come home to find her wife shriveled up like a damn raisin. See just look at your finger tips, the transition has started already."
"God you're so overdramatic Ma."
"You're the one acting like a stubborn child, now let me help you out of the tub."
Maura laughed at their conversation, deciding that now was the time to announce her presence. She leaned in the doorway of the bathroom, "I don't think I would consider this as you behaving," she raised her brow in amusement, especially when Jane's jaw dropped.
"Ma, why are you just standing there? Help me out here."
"Where were you ten minutes ago? She was yelling at Frost being stubborn so he thought I was a good reinforcement even though I can't exactly lift my daughter out of the tub," Angela finally let the water drain out of the tub, and handed her daughter a towel, turning her attention to Maura. "I think you can handle it from here. I'm going to have Vince take me home, Frost is here for the twins. You two enjoy your evening," she kissed her daughter's cheek and then Maura's before leaving the room.
"So Frost had to help you get into the tub?" Maura asked as she helped Jane out of the tub and into her chair.
"Yeah, he had his eyes closed the whole time helping me, he's such a wuss I swear. I know it's not my goodies he's into," Jane closed her eyes as Maura dried her hair with the towel.
"Yeah you and your goodies... I will be the only one enjoying those," she winked, pressing her lips against Jane's cheek. "So, you lied to me when you said you were behaving?"
"I wasn't lying, I thought it was just a scenario for me and you, not my mother and Frost."
"Naughty girls don't get nice things, you know."
"Then how did I end up with you?"
"That's a very good question," Maura started to dry off the rest of Jane's body. "That's something you'll have to think hard about. How did my naughty Detective end up with a nice, classy woman like me," she ran her up slowly up Jane's thigh. "You even turned me into this naughty woman, a woman who is always wanting to let loose and show my wife how much she turns me on."
Jane groaned at Maura's touch and her words, "Uh huh. Keep talking baby..." she bit her bottom lip, looking at the look of lust in her wife's eyes.
"I bet you like turning me naughty," Maura's hand grazed against Jane's entrance. "Maybe you're the one who needs a sweet release," she whispered into Jane's ear, flicking her tongue against Jane's earlobe.
"I thought we agreed on..." she groaned, stopping her words as she felt Maura finger enter her. "Shit..." Jane knew she was in trouble now, as Maura pumped her finger gently inside of her.
"You were saying?" Maura nipped at her ear, continuing the movement of her finger, inserting another one, a little more forceful then the last.
"Don't stop..."
"I don't plan to until your sweet juices drip down my hand," Maura spoke seductively, driving Jane insane.
"God I love it when you talk like... that," Jane grunted as she entered a third finger, moving harder and faster than before. "Oh... right... fuck, right there," she groaned, trying to keep her breathing steady, but Maura was working her magic, once Maura lowered her mouth onto one of her nipples Jane was a goner. She came against Maura's fingers as her orgasm shook her entire soul.
Jane tossed her head back, whimpering slightly as Maura's fingers slid out of her core. "Did my naughty Detective enjoy that?" she pushed the hair out of her face. "Jane, are you okay?" she noticed the look of discomfort on her wife's face.
Jane nodded, "I- yeah, of course I am. Just a little out of breath is all. I was paying attention to my breathing, but maybe you were right and we shouldn't...God I don't even want to say it."
Maura looked at her wife in understanding. "Maybe we shouldn't until you're fully healed? We broken that rule like three or four times already, I can tell you it's not easy being so close to you and not being able to do... what just happened..."
"It's harder having control when we know we shouldn't let it happen... maybe we just," Jane wiped her eyes at the tears threatening to fall. "Maybe we shouldn't be allowed to be alone together..."
Maura took Jane's hands into hers, "Don't cry Jane, it's okay, we're okay. It's going to be hard but if we want you to heal it's for the best. No more private hangouts, it's not like we'll never see each other for seven weeks just..."
"Can we even handle that?"
"Jane Rizzoli-Isles, we've been through hell and back, we can handle anything we put our minds too. After all of our hard work we'll be rewarded for it. We'll get through this," she cupped her wife's cheeks, pressing a kiss against her lips. "Let's get you dressed now though, I know you're probably hungry for dinner."
Jane nodded, "We can flirt and make people very uncomfortable in public, that could be fun."
"See Jane, looking on the bright side of things is good for your health," she helped Jane get dressed before heading into the kitchen. Tommy was there, a pot on the stove. Jane couldn't help but roll her eyes, why did he always have to be here?
"Evening you two, how was your bath Janie?" Tommy greeted.
"When did me and Maura's house become grand central Station? There's always you here or Frost here or Ma, who apparently still can't keep her mouth shut..."
"Actually it was Frost who told me, he was upset you yelled at him for trying to help."
"See Maur, told you Frost was a wuss," Jane laughed in amusement, but Maura frowned.
"Jane, can I talk to you for a moment?"
"I thought we shouldn't be alone."
"It's important, sorry Tommy, we'll let you continue making dinner," Maura nodded.
"Maybe you being here is good for something," Jane smiled and Maura pushed her outside onto the porch. "What's the matter Maura?"
"I don't think you should make jokes with Frost nearby. Don't you think it's curious how he's always here, do we even know the last time he's even been home? Frankie and him just broke up the other day, don't you think we should be more concerned about Barry's well-being instead of calling him a wuss."
"Babe, it's just all in good fun, Frost and I are best friends, making jokes is just what we do. Plus he wants to help out and be here for the twins, he's being involved in their lives. I don't think Frost is depressed."
"People can hide their depression you know, not everyone who is depressed acts that way, but it doesn't mean..."
"I love how you care so much about Frost Maura. I know he appreciates how you're willing to help out whenever you can. You're a lot of good in this evil world, I know I lucked out with you coming into my life all those years ago. Life has never been the same, it's been so much better."
"I don't understand how your brain seems to work, I'm worried about Frost and you're here complimenting me. You once were aware of Frost being depressed, he found comfort in our home and I think it sort of stuck with him. Our house just might be his safe place. Maybe he should just move into the guest house, a little more permanently."
Jane thought it was sweet how Maura cared about Frost, they were both awkward people a few years ago and Jane noticed how they transformed into these great people getting used to a normal adult life. "I don't know Maura, you can always offer if you'd like, but I don't think you need to worry about him so much. He seems to be getting his life together. And I don't think he's too worried about Frankie and their break up. He's sort of found his way back to Tommy."
Maura was surprised at Jane's news, "He might be more depressed than we thought."
"What are you talking about? Sure I don't like the thought of Tommy with Frost but I don't think him wanting to find happiness is that depressing. Their feelings never seemed to go away, if Frost wants to be with Tommy it's his life."
"Just like if Crowe wants to be with Frankie?" Maura eyed her wife.
Jane looked at her wife in surprise, "I- Did Crowe talk to you about what I called him about?"
"Yes, how can you let Frost do his own thing but when it's dealing with Frankie..."
"Are you seriously taking Crowe's side right now?" Jane crossed her arms.
"I'm not taking sides, I'm just saying if you can let Frost do what he wants, why are you upset about Frankie wanting to find his own kind of happiness," Maura tried to explain herself.
"I don't like Crowe, that's why, he's taking advantage of my brother when it's obvious that he's the one who's hurting. Frankie's vulnerable right now and Crowe is fucking with his emotions, I bet he doesn't even like Frankie, he's just fucking with him. I won't let my brother get hurt anymore," Jane sighed in defeat. "I don't want him to get stuck in a situation that he can't get out of."
"It should be his choice Jane, if you take that from him, then what does Frankie have? If Frankie has feelings for Darren then he should be allowed to figure it out on his own."
Jane shook her head, "Even if his decision was to get drunk off his ass and sleep with someone he regrets sleeping with? Frankie is obviously the depressed one here, he doesn't get drunk off his ass, he's different than Frank and Tommy. I just want to protect him before he does something he can't reverse."
Maura squatted down to be at Jane's level, "Have you gotten any indications that he would actually harm himself?"
"No, but it still worries me, I don't know what's going on in his mind and that scares the fuck out of me. I can usually get a read on my brother, but not lately... I'm worried Maura," Jane admits, Maura reached her hand up to stroke her cheek.
"I'll help in any way that I can to look out for Frankie, but maybe you should be supportive of his decisions, that could help things a little, even if you hate Crowe, your concern for Frankie should be stronger than that hatred, does that make sense?" Maura looked deep into her wife's eyes, trying to get a read on her thoughts.
"I still don't like it, but if it could help in the long run, I can act more supportive, at least be less judgmental, I'm not making nice with Crowe though."
"You don't have to, plus Frankie would know something was up," she kissed her wife softly. "And if you need help, I'll be right beside you. Some things will just take time to get used to. Anyways, we should get back to the subject of Frost. He got back together a little quickly with Tommy, I feel like Frost has some sort of depression where he needs someone to make him feel good to feel good about himself. Like he needs to be complimented and taken care of or else he might go down a road I don't even want to begin to think of. He probably doesn't quite understand."
"Sometimes being with someone is the only way to feel good about yourself. I know before I met you I felt incomplete, even I had thoughts of if my existence was worth it. It mainly started with Hoyt, he gotten to me at a bad time. After he tortured me I had thoughts of how I wish he would have disposed of me, put me out of my misery," Jane spoke, tears falling down her cheeks. "I was at a real low, I even had thoughts of..." she paused for a moment, "but then I met you, and you just, you don't realize just how much you meant to me back then. You actually saved my life Maura, so yes I think Frost getting back together with Tommy was good for him, good for his soul, to prevent him from doing something that can't be reversed."
Maura had tears in her own eyes, "Jane, I didn't... I never knew. My life would be so different if I never met you, I'm glad that I was able to pull you out of that darkness. I love you so much, I can't even begin to imagine a life without you," she kissed the top of her head.
"I love you too Maura, thank you for saving me from those demons. I'm thankful for everyday I get to spend with you, every moment, even if it's an argument all I know is I don't want to imagine my life any other way." Jane and Maura just looked into each other's eyes for a moment, nothing else needed to be said.
They almost didn't notice the front door open and Frost observing them, "Hey, are you two okay out here? Tommy told me to get you guys for dinner."
Maura got up from the porch and nodded, "Yeah, Jane and I are okay, and how about you, are you doing well?" Maura asked, wanting to make sure he was okay.
"I'm better than well Maura, thanks for asking. Life is pretty good, no complaints here," he grinned.
"Well I'm glad for it," Maura patted his shoulder and walked inside.
Frost looked at his friend, "Are you okay Jane?" Jane nodded, wiping her cheeks.
"Yeah I'm fine, just was opening up to Maura about things in the past, nothing to worry about though. I'm glad that you're here... and that you are allowing yourself to be happy."
Frost smiled, "Thanks, Tommy has been really nice to me today."
"You gave him sex, that would make any Rizzoli act nice to anyone," Jane chuckled.
"Oh no wonder why you've been such a bitch lately," he teased, causing Jane's jaw to drop feigning surprise. "Come on, let's get you inside."
"I'll get you back for that remark Frost, mark my words."
Frost chuckled, not taking her seriously, "Yeah I'll be careful. I'd like to see you do somemthing about it," he stepped to the side to let her in, walking in behind her and closing the front door.
About a week had passed and Jane was feeling stressed out, she's been trying to mend her relationship with Frankie, but he didn't have anything he wanted to talk to her about, Maura kept insisting that maybe Frankie needed more time. She longed for the day he would talk to her, she already told him that she supported whatever decision he made, so maybe he was trying to work that out. Jane had no idea where Frank was staying, what he was planning, she was probably being paranoid she reminded herself. She just felt like something was up.
Today she was going to go to the doctor's office and they were going to check up on her lungs and see about her mobility. That left her quite anxious more than anything else, at least Maura was going to be by her side, just as she promised. Frost and Tommy were watching the kids, Angela even had a check up on her baby.
Jane was now in the waiting room with Maura who was reading a magazine, "Maur, how can you be so calm at a time like this?"
"Jane, you know that you are going to be fine, they already said if you felt more comfortable you can stay in the wheelchair, figured you'd want to walk," she rested a hand on Jane's bouncing knee to try and calm her down.
"I do want to walk on my own, but what if they tell me I can't?" Jane leaned her head back. "Maura, what if something is more wrong with me than they thought."
"Then we'll work on it together, that's all."
"You make it sound so simple."
Maura shrugged, "It is simple, getting all worked up isn't going to do any good. Sometimes you lack the ability to remain positive."
Jane rolled her eyes, "I am positive, positive that something's going to be wrong."
"Your breathing has gotten better and you haven't complained about any chest pain in a few days. If you do well I can take you out for ice cream."
"Really? Ice cream? Maura I'm not a child."
"You could have fooled me," Maura smiled warmly at her wife, leaning over to give her a kiss.
"I'd much prefer more of those."
"Of course you would, I'll give you one more but that's it," she kissed her again this time a little bit longer, causing Jane to smile into the kiss.
"Okay maybe ice cream sounds like a good idea too. A nice banana split with extra chocolate drizzle and sprinkles."
"That's a good girl," Maura kissed her cheek.
The doctor finally came out. "We're ready to see you now Jane." Maura wheeled Jane into the room. "So how have you been feeling? Any pain lately?"
"Breathing has become a little easier, hardly have chest pain. Back has been experiencing more numbness, but feels less stiff."
"Alright, well we're going to check your lungs see how they are healing and then if you're comfortable to try and walk we can see how you do."
Jane nodded as he began examining her lungs on the x-ray he glanced at and nodded. "Your lungs seem to be in pretty good shape, can you cough for me?" Jane did as directed, he put down the stethoscope and typed something into the computer for notes. "Alright well there seems to be nothing wrong, but your lungs will still need a little more time to heal, so try not to do anything strenuous. We don't want to cause any relapse."
"So would walking be a good idea then?" Jane looked at the doctor worried.
"I still recommend using the chair more than walking, but you should be able to walk yourself to the bathroom and other places in short distances. We can see how you do, if you're ready to walk now," the doctor told her. Jane looked up at Maura who gave her a reassuring nod.
"Just remember I'm right beside you," Maura held out her hand for Jane to take. Jane made sure the brake on her wheelchair before reaching out for Maura's hand, when they made the connection, Jane used her other hand to hold onto the arm rest of her chair. She slowly pushed herself up, tightening the grip on Maura's hand as she tried to steady herself.
"That's a good job," the doctor responded. "Any aches or pains?"
"There's this tightness in my back and my legs feel kind of numb, but I know that's because I need to get my blood flow going," she walked a little longer and nodded. "I'm ready to sit back down now," Maura helped her.
"Is everything feeling alright?" Maura asked Jane in concern.
"Just a little pain from my legs that shot up to my spine. Is that normal?" Jane asked the doctor with a frown.
"The gunshot wound did hit awfully close to the spine, there's a chance walking may be a little difficult for the next couple of weeks that's why it's good to keep the chair as a precaution. I'll get your paperwork together and then give you a prescription for the pain," he patted her shoulder before exiting the room for a moment.
"Well I'm feeling a little hopeless right now," Jane sighed, rubbing at her hands.
Maura kneeled down to be on her level, taking her hands in hers, "Hey it's going to take time Jane. We'll do some yoga to help stretch your muscles they are just a little weak from you not using them fully for a while. Small steps. I love you so much Jane and I'm proud of you, even if you may feel hopeless right now I will always be proud of you," she leaned up to kiss her, nipping at her lips for a moment, she pulled back to see Jane smiling. "See you just need a little reassurance. We know what you need to do now. Everything's going to be just fine with your body once it's healed."
"I don't want to do anything to have to experience this again, the pain, the loss of my motor skills, feeling so broken. I don't want to risk my life again. I really have been rethinking if being a detective is a good thing for me after this all is over. There's a higher chance for me to get hurt, than doing some basic job."
"You're one hell of a Detective Jane, but I support any decision you make. We can discuss career plans later."
"Over that ice cream I've been promised."
Maura nodded, "We can discuss anything you want over ice cream."
"Good," Jane smiled, she had a few things she wanted to talk to Maura about. The doctor came back in.
"Alright here's your prescription," he handed it to Jane, "and here's your copy of the paperwork to keep. Anything else you need to discuss or want to ask."
Jane looked to Maura, "Can I talk to the doctor alone for a moment?"
Maura looked at her wife in concern but nodded leaving the room. The doctor turned to Jane, "What did you want to discuss privately?"
"I never discussed this with Maura yet, so that's why I wanted her to step out. I was curious about pregnancy and if you could maybe give me a percentage of survival rate if I had a child, it would be by IVF of course I'm not pregnant right now or anything," Jane explained.
"Well looking at your paperwork and your medical history your baby would have a high chance of survival, but if you wanted a more proper examination I can set you up an appointment with a OBGYN."
Jane nodded, "That would be good, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," he went to the computer and typed something in. "There's a spot open next Thursday, they can see you at noon. Is that a good time?"
"Yeah that's a perfect time," Jane was then handed a card with her appointment on it, which she stuck in her pocket.
"I wish you well on your healing journey, and see you in three weeks for your check up," the doctor opened the door and Jane wheeled out of the room. "You ladies have a good day."
Maura smiled at the doctor who disappeared then at Jane, "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah just some patient doctor confidentiality business. Nothing to worry about, time for ice cream."
"Of course time for ice cream," Maura led Jane to the car. "Did you want to try getting in or did you want my help?"
"Your assistance would be much appreciated right now. I'll try the whole walking thing again when I'm safe at home."
Maura nodded and helped her in, putting her chair in the back. Before they left the parking lot Jane's cell phone rang. She looked at the I.D and it was Korsak. Jane sighed answering it, "Hey Vince, how did Ma's appointment go?"
"Not so good your mother has high blood pressure and the doctor says she might end up with gestational diabetes. The baby is alright but Angela didn't really take the news well. She wanted to know if you could come over to see her, we're at the hospital right now. Unless you're busy..."
"Well Maura and I were about to get ice cream... but..."
Maura looked over once she heard her name. "Jane what's wrong?"
"Ma didn't get the best news at the doctor, she wants to know if we can come see her. I know she'll get worked up if we don't come."
"We can put off our ice cream date until later if you wanted to see her."
"Korsak, tell Ma we'll be there as soon as we can," she responded before hanging up. Nothing else was said as Maura drove her and Jane to the hospital.
When they arrived at the hospital they went to go see what room she was in, when they got upstairs and to the waiting room Korsak was sitting in one of the chairs fidgeting with a cup of coffee. He looked up when he heard them approaching, Jane recognized the look of sadness and despair in his eyes. "Hey you two, thanks for coming. I know your mother would appreciate it. The doctor says they'll keep her here for observation over the next couple of days."
"How are you holding up Vince?" Maura asked, she didn't like seeing the older man so distraught.
He shrugged, "Honestly I'm scared as hell, there's nothing quite wrong with the baby but this pregnancy is rough on Ang. Chances of survival is still pretty high for the baby though, the doctor said that might change if she doesn't take care of herself more. Frankie is in the room with her right now."
"I was afraid this was going to happen," Jane frowned. "Ma having complications with her pregnancy. It was bound to take a toll on her eventually. I think I'll wait out here until Frankie is done talking to her, we aren't really on speaking terms."
"Come on Jane, maybe this is a good time for you to talk to him," Maura suggested.
"Yeah my mother in distress, good time to make amends," Jane rolled her eyes, and Maura shook her head, turning Jane to wheel her into Angela's room.
Frankie stopped talking once the door opened, "Hey Maura, Jane. Ma was worried you guys weren't going to come. Ma I'm going to see how Vince is holding up," he got up from the chair, not saying another word before leaving the room.
"At least he acknowledged your presence this time Jane," Maura helped Jane sit next to Angela's bedside, Maura sitting in a chair.
"Always looking on the bright side, so Ma how are you feeling? What has gotten you so stressed that your blood pressure is high?"
"I'm feeling upset and more worried each day about Julian's survival, about my survival through this whole thing. I don't feel stressed out about anything other than that. We all knew the risks of my pregnancy, but the longer it goes the more that seems to happen. How was your doctor appointment, better news I hope?" Angela looked at her daughter, noticing her still in the wheelchair.
"Doctor said I can walk some, but it's preferred in only short distances and using the chair for precaution is good. But we don't have to talk about me. You're the one in the hospital being monitored. And you asked to see us, so here we are. I'm going to assume you want to talk to us about something."
Angela's face fell at Jane's words, she nodded, "Yeah I sort of did wanted to talk, to both of you, about something important. You aren't really going to like what I have to say, it's something I talked to Frankie about some but anyways I want to confide in you both and I'd prefer you don't discuss it with Vince. It sort of concerns him too."
"Whatever it is Angela, we're here for you," Maura squeezed the woman's hand.
Jane noticed her mother's tone and she already didn't like where this was going. "What's up Ma?"
"I want to discuss plans, for the future just in case anything happens to me, like if I don't exactly make it through the pregnancy. There's a slight possibility that if Julian makes it that maybe... maybe I won't," she paused, taking a deep breath.
"Ma, why do you have to talk like that? You shouldn't even be thinking such things."
Angela frowned, "Jane, we have to be prepared for all sort of results. We have to talk about the just in case... Maura you understand right?"
"I don't like thinking of you not being here but it makes sense, Jane it's good to be prepared for things. Can we just hear your mother out on her wishes?"
Jane ran a hand over her face, sighing in defeat. "Fine, but she's going to make it, you told me I need to think positive, it's good for her health too."
"I'm not trying to be negative but it's better to be prepared than not."
Angela observed her daughter for a moment before continuing, "Vince of course is going to be needed look after. I love him, but I'm not sure he'll handle things well and he's going to need all the support to help raise Julian and I don't think he'll want to be left alone. Frankie already agreed to stay with Korsak and Julian, just in case, so he won't have to stay at your guy's place, you already have the twins to look after and maybe kids of your own one day. I want you two to make sure finances are in order, whatever money that's left of my account after funeral costs, I know it probably won't be much but I'd like if it was split up three ways equally between you and your brothers Jane. I want to be buried, not cremated, and I don't need a huge send off or anything. Does that seem simple enough?"
Jane and Maura nodded, "I still think you're going to be fine Ma, you just have to take it easy that's all."
"I know you expect me to be here forever, but we both know that won't be the case and that it might happen sooner than later. I know it's hard to hear but that's just the fact of life, and I'd want to make sure that my kids are okay just in case. To be honest death kind of scares me, but how you kids react to it probably scares me more. I don't want any of you to lose yourselves okay? I would like for all of my kids to have a handle on things. Could you try to respect my wishes Jane?"
"Is this your way of saying I need to make amends with my loved ones? Preferably Frankie."
"You and your brothers all need each other, I would like to believe that things would be alright with my kids if something were to happen to me. Plus I sort of got from my conversation from Frankie that he misses you. I would like to see all my kids on speaking terms if I were to leave this earth," Angela sighed. "Even if you guys all just make some sort of effort I'd find comfort in that. Comfort knowing that all my children are making that effort, this includes you Maura and Frost as well. Even though you two I don't have to worry so much," she smiled at Maura.
"So you're sure Frankie misses me?" Jane asked, interrupting her mother and Maura's moment.
"Unless I miss heard him speak, you should talk to him. I'm sure Maura and I can talk about less depressing things now."
Jane nodded, "I am pretty hungry, I'll go get some lunch with Frankie and start looking out for Korsak. Don't you two talk about me when I'm gone."
"You wouldn't even know if we did Jane," Maura smiled in amusement at her wife.
"I think I'll bring you back some Jell-O, how does that sound babe?" Jane laughed as she left the room.
"I swear she's such a bitch sometimes," Maura shook her head and Angela laughed.
"I hardly ever hear you use those kind of words Maura, Jane's such a bad influence on you."
It was Maura's turn to laugh, "Oh Angela, you have no idea..."
Ringing in 2021 with a new chapter to this story. Some heavy talks in this and some light-hearted stuff. Rizzles had their moments and Maura's interaction with Angela at the end. Oh she's right Angela, you have no idea on Jane's influence on sweet Maura lol. Chapter turned out longer than I planned it, but I felt great being able to write when work has me not so exhausted. Holidays are ending and that means less days for me to work which means more chapters to write and post. Might be time jumping a lot the next chapters for the important stuff including the birth of Julian maybe before this story hits 100 chapters. I have a bit of plot ideas still left in this noggin. Still grateful for that one day I got muse for this story again when I thought all hope was lost. I'm very grateful for my normal reviewers as well.
